Bones - The 200th in the 10th

I am so incredibly excited for this episode. I love old movies, I love flashback/parallel universe episodes - Bones has done several of these before and they always do them WELL (remember the season 4 finale??)  - and it's their 200th episode so of course that's cause for celebration!!

This. All of this.

BTW - John Boyd (Aubrey) has a Twitter, it's right here! And I was watching Argo today, as a study break, and I found him in it!! It was very exciting - I wasn't even looking for him, he just kinda leapt out at me! (and then I remembered later on having seen on his IMDb that he had a small role in it).He had crazy sideburns and a yellow sweatervest. 'Twas adorable.

This is so cute, they're playing themselves as old movie stars, in a new movie called 'Bones'. I'm in love with this episode already. It's got everything!

Old-timey movie logo: check
Old-timey soundtrack: check
Old-timey car driving with what is clearly a green-screened background: check
Scarf around the hair: check
Wearing a trenchcoat: check
Old-timey revolver: check

Just look how happy they are!!

They're sneaking around a GIANT mansion - she's the one with the gun, he's climbing across all the balconies. Cam/Tamara is the maid (her short hair's back!) and Booth is a thief, he broke into the home's safe. Brennan/Emily is the police officer. There was a burned body in the safe.

Max is the police cheif, Angela's a receptionist - and NAILS her 50s-era voice, and then flirts with the adorable Wendell who's a press reporter. Awwww.

Asshole guy from INTERPOL has to replace her on the case, tells her she's 'easy on the eyes' and she responds with "You won't have any eyes if you keep talking like that." You go Brennan.

Did anyone in the 50s actually say 'guy'? Angela does. Bones does the old break-into-someone's-room-wait-for-them-in-a-chair-in-the-dark bit, and tells Booth to admit to the robbery so that they'll believe he didn't kill anyone.

HAHAHAHA Hodgins/TJ is a paleontologist, has tiny glasses, and Edison (his assistant) has slicked-down hair. Brennan is also full of surprises, and Booth needs a martini.

Couldn't find a better picture of Hodgin's glasses. But trust me. They were awesome.

The coroner doesn't care about the bones (silly man) and so they're able to easily steal them so that Hodgins and Edison can examine them.

Wendell is still flirting, he and Angela are teaming up to ask Vasiri (some jewel fencer) to help them prove that someone else had stolen the jewels. Angela is also bringing the sass that we saw from Brennan earlier. "Watch your step, Vaziri, unless you want to wear that drink". (He told Wendell to never try to understand a woman). LOVING THIS!

Wendell + old-timey hat = overload of cute. And check out that bow on Angela's dress!

Booth only gets to drive once he stops calling Brennan 'darling' (so, never).

Hodgins sounds like an old man. I'm loving it.
Requisite smoking vials of multi-coloured liquid, to signify that this is a lab and science happens here: check. 

CORRECTION I FOUND A BETTER PICTURE AND IT'S GLORIOUS.

Oh hey! Angela's dad makes an appearance too. He still has a guitar (albeit one made of trash - he's a hobo) and thinks Booth and Brennan are made for each other. Brennan thinks otherwise.

Hodgins being the bones expert and sounding astounded at all times is just the greatest thing.
Booth needs to stay at Brennan's house and she insists he can't go in her bedroom, she asks why, and he says "You've never let any man in there? Must be cold." She says a man has been slapped for less, then tells him to hide when Angela comes to the door - in the bedroom - and he gets all excited. Angela knows he's there, and gives Brennan some sass as well. AND THEN MENTIONS AUBREY!!! He apparently dated the victim.

*SQUEALS INTERNALLY*

Warren's on the stage, singing, at the club where they go to interview Aubrey, and Caroline's the hostess. Aubrey's adorable, denies knowing anything about the murder, and he's there dating Daisy of all people! Aubrey points out the singer and her backup.. something (dancer?), who are married, and he had an affair with the victim. So Booth starts a fight between them, then skedaddles when Angela's dad shows up out of nowhere and says the cops are there.

Somehow Jessica Warren (Rabbit?) manages to pull off the redhead-wearing-red thing. Also, she's an emoji.

Angela's dad - they're calling him Sarge - is apparently an Army vet, along with Booth, who served in WWII. Brennan suspects him. And the cops know they're working together, so they need to scram - whether Booth has finished his coffee or not.

Hodgins uses the victim's clothes to identify whether or not it was actually the lady who owned the house (she's not - plot twiiiiist!), they get Angela to draw the victim's face, and Aubrey says being framed for murder is a 'dreadful inconvenience', they trade some 'old sport's, and THEN SOMEONE FREAKING STABS AUBREY AND HE JUST GASPS AND FALLS OVER, Booth pulls the knife out of his back, and then someone takes a picture - oh no. Another dreadful inconvenience. But come on, did Booth not actually SEE the stabber?!! 

So much old-timey handsomeness in one picture.

Apparently Booth didn't want to keep thieving, and the people he robbed were those who profited off of the Nazis somehow, which is why he gave the money to his veteran buddies. Awwwe.

Hearing Hodgins tell Brennan 'the parietal - that's a bone in the head' is laughable. AAAAH PELANT!!! PELANT'S IN THE RESTAURANT!!! SOMEONE GET HIM!!!! OK I just realized that the husband of the lounge singer is Squintern Fuentes - I didn't recognize him with the horrible mustache hahaha.

Apparently the victim was killed a long long time ago, and the maid was the one who'd killed her - then stolen her identity, met Aubrey, and tried to abscond with the jewels.

They're shoved in a closet, act all 'we should try to escape' but then 'well maybe we should just make out first'. Hart Hanson pointed out that the light source in that closet is really flattering - and I concur. Cam is 'the one calling the shots here' and takes Brennan with her as a hostage instead.

Cam went to the Owen Granger School of Spoiling People's Fun.

Booth somehow escapes, uses the oldest-trick-in-the-book of using a pencil on the page below which something was written, to reveal the contours. He figures out where she's going.

Max believes Wendell, (which inspires a cute smile from Wendell) Hodgins calls Angela 'beautiful' and with that she's suddenly forgotten about all the flirting with Wendell earlier - BOO! Max calls the British guy a 'bombastic twit'. Best insult ever.

My bad. It's the second-best.

Old-timey plane: check

The pilot is stalling, then tells Cam that dumping a dead body will cost her extra. Well I would hope so!!

Booth arrives at the airport just before they take off, then decides to abandon his car because RUNNING after the plane is faster (clearly he's never watched Scorpion!)

This shot brought to you by the poster for North by Northwest - although this time, he's chasing the plane!

Then he leaps in the door as they attempt to take off with the door still open.
Cam calls him a chump, and falls over a few times, all I can think of is 'she's messing up her nice dress!' and then they all wrestle, including the pilot, who evidently doesn't need to actually FLY the plane while it's taking off. Brennan in her cloth bag almost rolls out the door - then Booth drops the jewels out the door, Cam decides they're more important than her own safety, so she falls out after them.

But OF COURSE Booth knows how to fly a plane! "This is why I like to drive". Hahaha

They make her detective, plus head of the new Forensic Science department - Wendell gets to take a picture, and Max predicts that they're going to fall in love, too. (Does no one want to catch the notorious jewel thief anymore?)

Brennan flips that 'darling' thing on its head. That's my girl. She found the jewels somehow - didn't those fall out over the mountains?? She decided not to tell the cops they were recovered, and instead gives them to Sarge.

And then our leads smooch under the stars. Awwwwe."For justice".

The End.

Bravo Bones, well done!! This episode was incredible. I loved the costumes, the hair, the dialogue, the cameos - EVERYTHING!! I really feel like watching some Hitchcock movies now. See you all in the new year!!!

Although, if we're bringing people back from the dead (I already knew John F Daley was too busy, poo) - BUT WHERE THE HELL WAS VINCENT?!!! OR ZACK?!!!! HE'S NOT EVEN DEAD!!!

Also it was trending at some point, so I tweeted this and then that tweet exploded when one of the writers retweeted it. Thanks guys!

Bones - The Puzzler in the Pit

Daisy is back! And super pregnant. She's also waiting for the baby to 'communicate' to her how he wants his room set up... Uhhhh...

Booth is making puns about the word 'fracking'. Bones bought enough things for Daisy's baby to fill their living room. Holy generosity, Brennan! But Booth really wants to keep that Fisher-Price popper thing which is hilarious because I'd do the same thing (even if he folds himself in half in order to use it)

What grown adult wouldn't want one of these??
If they made a vacuum version, I'd be vacuuming every day.

There is a heck of a lot of hydrochloric acid on the remains, which is eating away at the tissue (everybody with me now - ewww!!) and Hodgins gets all MacGyver on them and dumps baking soda on them to neutralize the acid (Although I call bullshit on the lack of special effects there, it didn't fizz like AT ALL, and we all know what happens when you combine sodium bicarbonate and acid...)

"It's not just for baking anymore!"

Brennan doesn't think Daisy understands infants, and I concur. Not that Brennan really understood them when she became a mother, either... Remember this?

We're ten seasons in, and that is STILL one of my favourite moments.

The victim was a guy who made crossword puzzles. That's a pretty cool job, but I imagine very difficult... Cam was a fan of his and this is interesting, because she's not usually very nerdy.
Angela also thinks Daisy is going crazy - because her doula keeps telling her all these weird things like buying crystals would help make the birth painless. Angela's plan is for Brennan to continue telling Daisy she's ignorant. And I know she's in a weird place emotionally, what with Sweets and all *bursts out sobbing* but she's still a scientist!! And therefore should know better!!

OH! PS! Speaking of Sweets! He's been nominated for a People's Choice award for 'Character we'll miss the most' SO GO HERE TO VOTE: http://vote.peopleschoice.com/#!/home/all/49/2 (And then scroll through the other TV categories and vote for Bones in a bunch of those where they're nominated, too!!)

He wants you to vote for him.

Booth refers to the suspect as 'any old schmo' so Brennan takes this and goes on a tangent about whether or not the guy speaks Yiddish ('schmo' is 'idiot' in Yiddish). Aubrey walks in on the middle of this conversation and doesn't know what to say.

Hodgins has a really sweet moment with Daisy talking about all her superstitious stuff. "I don't want you to push us all away because you're afraid of losing someone else." Which is adorable, especially considering I didn't think he liked her very much. And then Brennan gets a little too harsh about it and hurts Daisy's feelings, and now I feel bad. Crap.

The doula is kinda bitchy to Angela when she accompanies Daisy to her appointment, since she's 'mixing different energies' and whatnot and then says that 'even though she didn't have a non-traumatic birthing experience' that she 'seems like a nice person, and I'm sure your baby will be just fine'. Angela fires back "Yeah, my baby is perfectly fine." I'm surprised there wasn't more to that comeback, but I think she was kinda caught off-guard.

We all know there ain't no shade like Montenegro shade.

OH MY GOD!!! OH MY GOD!!! The 'schmo' who left the threatening message for the victim is PLAYED BY SAM LLOYD A.K.A. TED FROM SCRUBS A.K.A. THE SHOW I'VE BEEN BINGE-WATCHING THE LAST FEW WEEKS!!! (Fun fact: I recognized his voice even before looking up at the TV hahaha) He was planning on taking legal action against the victim for stealing his work - which is funny, because, after all, Ted is a horrible lawyer.

"Lawsuits are bad." That's the extent of his knowledge on the subject.

OK this case has turned emotional now, too, because the victim had Alzheimer's. And poor Aubrey's grandma had dementia too! That stuff makes me so incredibly sad. The victim was also gambling all his money away (without even knowing it) and Aubrey is taking over and preventing Booth from gambling in order to smoke out the bookie. What a good guy!!

Aubrey asks the bookie if he's playing stupid, bookie says "Stupid? What's stupid?". I'm not 100% sure he's playing... Turns out the actual gambler was the victim's assistant.

And then Daisy starts having contractions, which she insists are just Braxton-Hicks contractions and then therefore 'not a big deal'. Which I recall someone else saying about Braxton-Hicks, but that was a man, and...

You tell him, Rachel!

But then her water breaks, and she says "I'm sorry... I'll clean it up" hahaha she eventually freaks out on that stupid doula (after the doula tells her to send her friends out because they're 'distracting') and tells her to 'get the hell out' and I have never been more proud of Daisy than at that moment hahaha.

Aubrey is deadpan whilst talking to Booth on the phone and I love it.

They figure out at the last moment (well, Daisy does, whilst in labour) that the killer was the victim's son that he didn't know he had, then Aubrey interviews the guy and he admits to pushing him because the victim didn't recognize him even though they'd spoken earlier the same day - the son didn't know about the Alzheimer's. And then he feels awful and starts crying. Plus, the guy probably wouldn't have died from that push if he hadn't been on Alzheimer's meds that weakened his bones. So now I feel like crap.
Unrelated side note: Aubrey wearing blue is a wonderful thing. Let's get more of that.

Look what it does for his eyes!

I usually don't cry when babies are born on TV shows. But this one had me weeping. And they named him Seeley Lance Wick-Sweets. Which is a mouthful. But so very perfect. And he's precious. And Booth gets to be the first to hold him and he just STARES at him like he's never seen a baby before.

This episode gave me so many feels. But they were good feels. A+ work from Carla Gallo, holy crap, I just wanted to give Daisy a hug!! Welcome to the world, little Seeley!! You're going to be one of the most spoiled and loved babies ever!! I need a tissue.

Bones - The Conspiracy in the Corpse

Bones being back makes me really excited because I have been watching Season 7 on DVD the last couple of days and it's really interesting to compare Booth and Bones when they first got together as a couple to the Booth and Bones that are now been married and have an almost-three-year-old.

Plus, it's one of those shows where the cast members really feel like a family and they all just make me so happy - except for the conspiracy bullshit that happened in the Season 9 finale and has left Booth arrested and him and Bones with a shot-up house.

Booth now comes with a beard and looks a lot older all of a sudden. Maybe that's just the harsh prison lighting. He also gets beat up a couple times. I'm still dumbstruck that the circumstances under which he's been imprisoned don't seem incredibly stupid to anyone else.

Sneaky squints are being sneaky and 'keeping things on the down-low'.... Not that anyone in the FBI will wonder what they're up to, in PLAIN SIGHT in the MIDDLE OF THE LAB.

Bones has a tense visit with Booth, and the security guard at the jail has been watching too much Arrested Development

Apparently the only way to get Booth out of jail is for Bones to walk into the office of a federal prosecutor and tell him 'Oh hi, I'm here to blackmail you.'....And it worked.

She also illustrates the crucial difference between being ordered not to do something, and promising not to do something.

I need to applaud the set designers on this show... Not only is the lab and attached offices utterly stunning, but THEIR NEW HOUSE OH MY GOD it looks like one of those places on Cribs or something.

Booth can't go back to work yet because he's a 'pariah' at the FBI office. Excellent use of the word. And I love that this show (like House) is one that would freak out Peter Griffin every five minutes, because they say the title almost constantly. Both as a nickname and as a noun. I'd wager it's one of the most-said words on the show.

He said it! And again! And there too!

'Insinuating' is also a good vocabulary word. But apparently people who are friends with Booth's boss should not be intimidated. Shouldn't they do a better job of figuring out who's sketchy and who's not before they hire/befriend them? But Booth is being followed by a handsome agent guy who Booth manages to outsmart. Apparently his name is SA James Aubry. And don't just take my word for it - one of the writers thinks he's a looker too.

Booth hasn't called Sweets a 'kid' in a while so he needs to call Aubry one now. I think Sweets would call that 'transference'. I hope they keep this one around for a while... Not like all the other random agents who are there for like four episodes then vanish, never to be seen/heard from again.

Like what happened to her?!!

Or her?? Although it's plausible she got fired after shooting Sweets... Poor kid, TWO 'accidental' bullet wounds.

Or... OK he wasn't an FBI agent but can you blame me for wanting more of him??!!

WHAT THE HELL SURPRISE DAISY AND PREGNANT DAISY NO LESS!!!!! Baby Sweets is gonna have a baby!!! This makes me very happy but slightly less happy because Daisy.

"It hurts when I breathe" I think Booth is channeling his inner Shania Twain. And then he and Bones start undressing and making out on their bed which is in front of a GIANT wall of windows. Not that they have neighbours or anything...

According to Twitter, TJ Thyne (Hodgins) and Tamara Taylor (Cam) laugh the most on set. I don't know why, but the idea of them giggling like idiots in the middle of shooting just makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I love these people!

Bones says Sweets is going to be a good father. I concur. Remember how cute he was in Season 8 with Christine?? I couldn't find photographic evidence of that - but you know it to be true!

Suddenly, in the words of one of the writers, 'everyone's being blackmailed!' (Sounds like an episode of The Mentalist, amiright?)

(Commercial break) friendly reminder that I love Elementary... But it's not back until October 30th. Poo.

Sad Sherlock is all of us.

I gotta say, this show is going to be so helpful when I take Human Anatomy next semester. Things like 'spinal processes' are going to come in handy. Also Christine looks way older than she should. Children don't age at a normal pace in the TV universe.

Surprise Aubrey! Apparently he answers to 'James, Jimmy... Anything'. Does 'Handsome' fall into that category? And after seeing the adorable sleeping Christine, he wants to get himself a child... DOES EVERYONE ON THIS SHOW JUST MAKE BABIES IN THEIR SPARE TIME??

Don't just take my word for it...

Oh for shit's sake, more conspiracy bullshit, taking the remains that were the last clue they had. But Cam is brilliant! And swapped out the bones!! She thinks of everything!

And then the whole world just went to shit and I want to tweet the writers saying I hate them, but I tried that and one of them (another Emily, no less) favourited my tweet but no. Just no. I don't even have any words. Fuck this show. Not my baby, not precious baby Sweets. I get it, they bring in a young, dark-haired cute agent just to replace him, right? Like 'here's your new Sweets' NO TAKE HIM BACK FORGET WHAT I SAID EARLIER!

Is this how things work in the Bones universe? Someone has to die whenever someone has a baby? So the baby can have a namesake? Karmic balance or something? Bones' daughter was named after her mother, who, granted, died years before but it's still sad. Then we have Angela & Hodgins' son named partly after Vincent - which reminds me, I STILL HAVEN'T FORGIVEN YOU GUYS FOR KILLING VINCENT!!! And now baby Lance? Why must they kill all of my favourites? First Zach goes psycho, then Vincent, now this, and they already gave Wendell cancer!! Isn't that enough??

Swear to god, this is the most empathy I've ever felt for Daisy.
And then when Brennan said "This isn't Sweets. It's a set of remains that will help us find the man who killed Sweets." I just lost it. Let me put it this way - I read the entirety of The Fault in Our Stars by John Green (for the first time) today, and this hurt me more. Not okay. NOT FREAKING OKAY.

Apparently John Francis Daley wanted to pursue his writing, so they killed him. I'm getting flashbacks of Kal Penn on House.  We have a fatherless baby so you can get a sequel to Horrible Bosses. You're welcome.

It hurt me to look through all the pictures of him just to choose one. So here are a bunch.

Remember the goatee?

*Sobs*

At risk of sounding like Daisy - goodnight, sweet Lancelot.

This turned into a much longer and much more screamy post than I intended. Sometimes emotions get the better of you. I can just go back to watching Season 7 - EXCEPT THAT'LL MAKE ME CRY NOW. Good grief.

Screw it, I'm gonna go watch Friends.