Bones - The Donor in the Drink

Don't explain cremation to a 5-year-old... I'm still creeped out by it and I'm 22.

Aubrey is so darn happy to see Booth again, it's adorable. And he's reeeeally taken over Booth's office. Awkward. Of course Aubrey has a mini fridge, is anyone at all surprised by this??

WENDELLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My precious baby is baaaack!!!! 

Thank god for handlebar mustaches! They help make victim identification easier! He invented a flexible mailbox. I feel like Hodgins would totally rock a handlebar 'stache.

Oh my god! It's David! David Berman the actor, a.k.a. David Phillips from CSI!! Interestingly enough, there were two characters on that show with the name David, but the other one was referred to by his surname (Hodges) almost exclusively.

He's moved on quickly.

God, I miss CSI.

How the hell does a mortuary lose ashes?? That's just sad and awful. Major incompetence.

And Cam doesn't want to be pitied by all of her couple-friends. I know that feeling. But at least it's nice that they're making an effort to include her...

The dead guy was killed for his organs which were then sold on the black market. Ew. And OMG when Aubrey makes a sad face, he kinda looks like Ricky Velez from The Nightly Show. 

Like, a lot. 

Aubrey's going undercover as a guy trying to sell his liver. And the woman he contacts is Chief Vick! From  Psych! Tsk tsk, Karen. Working for black market organ dealers now??

Angela's been taking awesome artsy photos, and Hodgins is trying to set up a show to display them, but she's really not on board. His heart was in the right place, though. I love the two of them.

Bones is probably the only person who could get away with ripping open the shirt of a guy in a casket and screaming 'aha!' Because the funeral home was definitely trafficking in stolen body parts. Ewwww.

Aubrey brings Booth what he thought was the box containing Jared's ashes - it's marmalade. Which Booth then tosses in the trash and Aubrey then takes. He's the comic relief that Zach used to be, that Sweets was, that Greg was for the first 5-6 seasons of CSI. And I love it.

Chief Vick! I mean, Nina, why would you just pick up a random dead guy and believe that there's nothing sketchy about that. Meanwhile, Wendell is getting a seriously guilty conscience about the possibility of shutting down the black market for people who really need organs. You're good people, Mr. Bray.

And good looking too, amiright??

Awwww Aubrey gave Bones his old office back. I'm so happy! 

Holy crap, David's character was in fact the killer. (The victim's apprentice) and holy shit he'd donated a kidney? For money? To help keep their business alive?! Damn, that's desperate. 

So I gather from this show that Angela really liked taking pictures of stairs. And everything is in black and white, so you know it's *art*. In all seriousness, may we all find a partner as supportive as Hodge-podge. 

Turns out Jared's ashes weren't missing at all, Christine had used the box so that she could climb in and out of Hank's crib. Awwww... But surely such a resourceful child couldn't find a stool or something?

NCIS: LA - Unspoken

Sketchy meet-up in an alley is sketchy. Shootout ensues. And an explosion. What fun!

It always comes back to this GIF. 

Deeks and I share a love for long-sleeved baseball tees. They're so comfy. Kensi and Deeks have no boundaries. NO BOUNDARIES WHATSOEVER!

The guy who was standing in front of the building when it exploded was an old partner of Sam's. His name's Mark, he works for ATF. Naturally, Sam wants to vouch for him. But he went back into the building and retrieved a case full of money. Not looking good for his innocence. But it never does.

The guy Mark used to be a drug addict but he's supposed to have been clean for a long time. Sam believes this, nobody else does. They go to his house and his son refers to Sam as a 'super ginormous man' hahaha

They track Mark down, but he runs. How dare you push your old partner into a bicycle!! How dare you, sir!

Tell him, Sherri

OK s Mark went back undercover and tried to do the transaction by himself and then the bad guy threatened to kill Sam... I'm not sure what was happening, I got a giant book in the mail and it distracted me. My bad.

Sam is talking with a really bad accent - and he manages to convince the henchmen to turn on their boss. Good job Sam.

They go to a storage locker (aren't those places so useful for hiding illegal stuff?) and Mark turns on Sam because of some weird jealousy. I think he thinks Sam slept with his wife? Huh? Where did that come from?

Seriously, Sam's accent is not good. I don't know if that was an acting choice, or if LL Cool J just can't do accents. Either way...

The one bad guy's brother was in custody but he tried to attack an agent so Granger shot him. Now they can't use him to lure in the other guy. Oh dear.

Hetty tells a sad story about why Sam wants to believe in Mark. It's sad.

Why would you hold an open flame to a piece of explosive? Isn't the whole point that it will explode? I don't get it.

Mark saves Sam's life, and then gets shot. Really? They're gonna let him die now? Just after he redeems himself?!! Oh, no, they're not. Because he redeemed himself.

NCIS: LA - Blame it on Rio

There is a dead man on a plane. AAAAAHHH!!!! No wait, he's just sleeping. He's a US Marshal escorting a prisoner. Uhh isn't it kind of important that he remain awake to do that job?!

The guy's handprint doesn't match his passport and suddenly the marshall realizes it's the wrong guy. Seriously. Don't fall asleep on the job, bro.

Eric volunteers to work out with Kensi, and that apparently entails him wearing a giant pad and she punches him. OK now that's not fair, it makes sense to want to smack Deeks a little bit because of how antagonistic he is, but why y'all gotta pick on the nerd??

Also Deeks is wearing Uma Thurman's track suit from Kill Bill. Kinda looks like pyjamas.

 

Don't call Eric a cyber-punk, he's a cyber-stud. And hey look, it's the guy from the other NCIS! The cute one! (I don't watch that show)

Nell's getting dressed for a renaissance faire, and once again I'm jealous of her wardrobe. Aww she's going with Eric! So cute! OH MY GOD HIS REACTION WHEN HE SAW HER!! THEIR NERD LOVE IS REAL!! 

AND IT IS SPECTACULAR!!!!

Are they seriously looking for Bobby Lee from MADTV??!

DiNozzo was here to pick up the criminal, and OK I guess it's not the marshall's fault he was asleep. He was drugged. My bad. But still. 

And yes, they are looking for Bobby Lee from MADTV. 

This is the face of a hardened criminal, you guys. 

The lawyer is a pain in the ass, shockingly. She accuses the US government of kidnapping her client, which is dumb, because clearly the marshall was surprised to see the replacement guy. And Sam points out she wouldn't have known he was in LA if he was actually kidnapped. God I hate TV lawyers. How did HE get on the plane? He would have had to use his passport.

Kensi keeps complimenting DiNozzo, to make Deeks jealous. He's an excellent flirter, too.

OH MY LORD. Whoever is in charge of the writing for Nell and Eric this season is my favourite person in Hollywood. They're getting so much screen time this season, and their banter is top-notch. I love them so so much. Nell has been to furry conventions, and Eric said 'there will be hose' which obviously sounds like 'hoes' and then she shot him a look... I'm dying. 

R.I.P. ME. I AM DECEASED.

Especially because Granger overheard that. He looks mildly bemused. 

DiNozzo knows French. And he and Deeks are facing off, it's excellent. Ane Kensi SERIOUSLY didn't get suspicious when she saw that giant black SUV pull into the parking garage?! C'mon girl, you know that's what all bad guys drive! He escaped. 

Sam does origami. I like this. And DiNozzo, Deeks & Eric are geeking out about Nightrider, that's so cute. Nothing like an 80s TV show to bring two guys together. Plus it's interesting they mentioned Arnica, my mom and sisters use that stuff. (It's for bruises. My sisters do gymnastics. 'Nuff said)

HAHAHA Deeks just used the phrase "shipping us" and this show has gone full meta. Lots of shipping. Shipping everywhere. Especially the Nellric kind. That's my favourite kind. 

Oh my god this guy is an idiot. Clearly he was cast for comedic relief. And he's faking another heart attack. Callen and Sam are too smart to fall for it. I love them. This is starting to be like an episode of Psych. I love Psych. 

The bad guys show up at the hotel and shoot up a hallway. Rio runs away, which is weird because I thought he was in collusion with the bad guys? Why would he run away from them? And why does he make those squeaking noises when he runs?!! 

I laughed out loud more during this episode than any episode in recent memory. Bravo, R. Scott Gemmill, whoever you are. I like your style. 

NCIS:LA - Command & Control

I like it when the episode starts with a car chase. And then an explosion! Double the fun!

Kensi was undercover as a woman named Rachel dating a guy who spent 3000$ on a dress for her, and she says she hates pretending to date millionaires, she 'prefers things with flaws'.

Deeks might need some cold water for that burn. 

I would have liked to see an episode about that case! 

Eric is... Not athletic. Nell watching him trying to stretch and flip and stuff in the gym was kind of adorable. And then she tried to choke him. Less adorable. He's really embarrassing himself. Also Nell dated one of the instructors from the self-defense class Eric passes out while warming up for. Aww poor Beale. 

Callen has the same criticism that I do about acai - he doesn't trust it because 2 years ago you'd never heard of it. Some guy cycles past and randomly drops a phone off on the table. Then it rings. It's all very cloak-and-dagger. This dude is threatening to kill 20 people and he's watching them. I agree with the bad guy that they should have their own theme song. (I mean, the show does, but the two of them need one). 

There was a bomb at a bus stop and they manage to get everyone out of the way in time. But they ruined their cell phones just for that? Kinda anti-climactic. I don't know about you, but if some random guys start screaming at me that there's a bomb, I'm not letting them pick up my children, I'm running the OPPOSITE way. Weirdos. Literally anyone can scream 'federal agent!'

Deeks makes frittatas. So do I. (But actually mine are just omlettes that fall apart). He decides to have a serious relationship conversation over breakfast and it makes me sad. She says "I don't care where I have breakfast - as long as you're there." 

CONTINUITY ERROR - Callen and Sam had time to hide behind planters and sit for a second before the bus shelter exploded. But in the security footage Nell shows, Sam barely makes it out of the frame and the explosion happens immediately. 

Also there's no way in hell that security camera has sound - certainly not good enough audio to hear the phone being placed on the table. Come on, guys. A little reality here please. 

The guy on the bike is dead. And Callen/Sam are instructed to meet the bad guy at a park. He looks like the poor man's Steve Buscemi. But he's not just some Unabomber loon, he's a well-organized terrorist loon. He has henchmen and everything. 

I kinda love the way Callen stands when talking to someone evil. One hand curled, one shoulder towards him and his front facing outward (away from Sam). It's subtle, but a very powerful stance. 

You know I love me some Kensi and Deeks banter, but THIS IS NOT THE TIME, GUYS!!! Deeks wants to buy & flip a house. 

OK so they run a red light hoping Eric sees it - but is Eric going to be watching literally every red light camera in the city for a truck that he doesn't even know they'll be driving?! Of course he is. This is TV. Their mission is breaking into a company that imports diamonds. And the bad guy said there were going to be security guards there to 'assist' them but THAT WAS A LIE! Bastard. 

He's also related to another case (I think?) that might have been an episode way back when. I don't really remember. But there's a security camera in the garage that Eric found, yet the bad guy can't see that?! At least the team knows where they are, now. 

Granger decides to take Nell into the field with him, she has an adorable outfit as per usual. Also Eric is jealous. Poor Eric. Better take those defensive training classes ASAP, buddy. 

And maybe do some stretching, like Jose Bautista. He's so flexible.

Granger seems weirdly proud of Nell. It's kind of cute. He's also very good at the deductive reasoning. As is she. 

So the police officers found Callen & Sam and ran after them, but showed no interest whatsoever in the shady guy they're clearly doing a handoff with? These police officers are not very good at policing. 

The bomb deliverer is posing as a member of the catering service at a convention center. OH SNAP! The chase/explosion at the beginning was their car! Sam shot the acetylene torch canister from a distance and made it blow up! He's lucky there were no innocent civilians in that parking lot... 

How did they get the right catering truck? There must have been a real one somewhere, right? Oh well. They got the right one, got the bomb disarmed, and killed the bad guys. But he teases them because someone on the inside had told him who it was that killed his brother. I SMELL ANOTHER MOLE!! 

Granger gives Nell a little pep talk. "Never belittle yourself or your accomplishments. You deserve the respect you've gotten." Awwww... Then Deeks & Kensi come in and invite her for a burger - she wants to take Eric too. I SMELL A DOUBLE DATE!!! 

I keep smelling things, I need to get my nose checked... 

NCIS:LA - Driving Miss Diaz

Is it weird that I see 'Miss Diaz' in the title and all I think of is this lady?

No? OK. 

So the episode starts with a girl alone in the dark on a university campus and a security officer approaches her and offers to escort her home.. But then another officer approaches them and says the first guy's an imposter. THAT IS LITERALLY ONE OF MY WORST FEARS!!! They shoot each other and she runs away.

Sam's changing the toner in the copier. But he goofed. Nell is helpful, Eric is not. 

I usually find this to be most helpful.

The bad guy was from Peru and was a member of a death squad from the 90s. There was a massacre carried out by said death squad, and a witness survived - a young girl, who the bad guys thought was the one at the university (it wasn't). Instead, it might be some model who wears lingere for a living and Deeks and Kensi have been sent undercover to protect her. She's the aforementioned Miss Diaz, and Deeks is doing the aforementioned driving. 

Elmslie from the global tribunal is back, I hate when they bring back people who were in like 2 episodes 3 years ago, how the hell are we supposed to remember them?!

Pop quiz: who hosted the Olympics the year Elmslie was last on this show??

She's pissed and doesn't want to talk to him. They're trying to set up a trial for the leader of the death squad, while he's trying to run for leader of Peru, and there must be a leak in the tribunal to know who the girls are that could have been the witness. 

God this model chick is so annoying, she gets mad at Kensi for apologizing. What a diva. But she's an orphan so I have some sympathy for her. 

Callen and Sam go undercover as tech support guys, and Sam kinda-sorta flirts with the receptionist which is creepy because she's WAAAAY too young for him. Now Callen is mocking him by making him actually install something. Elmslie gets arrested because he's accused of being the leak in the tribunal. 

Deeks subscribes to Steven Hyde's hairstyling philosophy

One of the other tribunal people who was a suspect is now dead, so somehow that means Elmslie was innocent? He had threatened the NCIS team because his family was in danger (I don't remember that) and now his family has left him... Awks. 

ERIC AND NELL HAVE BOARD GAME NIGHTS!!! AT HIS HOUSE!!!! AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW MY LITTLE NERD CUTIES

Hetty showed up at the photo shoot and scared the shit out of Deeks. She's going undercover... as herself. As a director of the photo shoot - then she literally blows everyone's cover and convinces Diaz to cooperate. Hetty's the best. 

Sam and Callen go to Diaz's house and scare the crap out of a cleaning lady - but they send Eric a photo and he goes 'Wait a minute, there is a cleaning lady, but that's not her!' (Saw that coming) 

I want to know why she even bothered dressing up in the first place, was she expecting someone to show up? 

She was supposed to torch Diaz's house. Kensi gave Catalina advice from her soap. Busted... And then they pull their guns on Catalina's boyfriend. Awkward. 

THE WATER BOTTLE. I SAW THAT AGES AGO. Granger's smarter than everyone else, I'm so disappointed. But Catalina isn't actually the girl who witnessed the massacre. Aaaand now she's missing. 

So the boyfriend isn't a boyfriend, he's her adopted brother and much much younger than her. Ew.

Nell's dress this week is really incredibly cute. I would love to raid her closet (we're probably close to the same size too). Somehow Elmslie didn't know Catalina had a brother. It's possible that Gabriel (the brother) is the son of the general, who supposedly died in a house fire along with his mother, but - PLOT TWIST! - the mother is totally that not-a-maid they arrested earlier!! 

SO. The woman was a witness to the murders as well, and Catalina was her daughter. The general spared her because he liked her and she had his kid, but then staged the fire so she and her children could escape. So Catalina and Gabriel were actually related. Mega ew. And the DNA was only compared to the dead people so that's why there was no match! 

The bad guys show up Gabriel's apartment. Oh dear. 

For the first time ever, Callen runs out of bullets. And the girl has to run in heels. This is a stupid plan. But then Deeks shows up and hits a bad guy with a car. PS Kensi has been wearing a burgundy blazer all episode and it's really nice. 

Hetty has a future in directing photo shoots (and modelling in them). And Deeks has a present nd a future in putting his foot in his mouth. 

Big Bang Theory - The 2003 Approximation

Oh dear. I knew Leonard was going to have to move in with Penny, but they didn't have to inform Sheldon about it so abruptly. Poor guy. At least let him sit down first!

Bernadette was only Sheldon's 7th choice of female to talk to... Which is a bummer, she would have been one of my top 3 for sure, she's very thoughtful.

Howard and Raj are going to make music together. This is a weird idea. Sheldon last week, Howard this week, suddenly everyone on this show has a falsetto.

Sheldon thinks that Argon is 'too big for its britches'. I don't understand this. For some reason he wants to live with Chris Pratt. Uhh... hate to break it to you (and a lot of fangirls) Sheldon, but I'm pretty sure he's married.

One of the cutest celebrity couples ever

Sheldon's decided to pretend it's back in 2003. He has a 'cutting edge new flip phone' hahaha I was 10 in 2003, I can confirm that the kids were indeed saying 'talk to the hand'.

Raj's go-to definition of the word 'cute' is children dressed as vegetables. I agree. That's an excellent example.

Grade-A level organic cuteness right here

Emily doesn't like their song because you can't dance to it, which makes Howard mad and says she's breaking up the band. Does that make her Yoko Ono in this scenario? If so, does that make Raj John Lennon? Because Howard is definitely Ringo.

I'm surprised how eager Sheldon is to be compared to a dog. But I definitely empathize with his fear about all his friends leaving him because they're in relationships and he's all alone. I've always had the same problem myself. I think that little speech right there was the most I've ever related to him. It was weird, I don't like it.

I think that shot of Leonard laughing at the song was a real reaction shot. No acting there.
The final criticism comes from Stuart: "Play something we can dance to" hahahahaha

Why can't you guys be more like this Stewart? He can dance to anything. 

Big Bang Theory - The Bachelor Party Corrosion

Oh dear boys, don't you know that a post-wedding bachelor party is a bad idea?? Look at what happened to Chandler!

Oh the irony, Sheldon being the one they actually DO need to kidnap. In broad daylight. I've neber been to Pasadena, but I feel like someone would see that and call the cops.

Sheldon only thinks bachelor party type party things are fun if they're physics-related. I shouldn't have been surprised. I also shouldn't have been surprised that Amy made dick-shaped cookies.

Holy crap, Sheldon actually has a clause in his relationship agreement forbidding cosmetic surgery?? That's a wee bit misogynistic... The crappy van tire went flat and they're trapped in the desert. I don't understand why people in TV/movies in this scenario always exit the vehicle. Wouldn't it be more comfy inside the large, padded van??

Penny's dad making a new appearance, and she has to tell him about getting married to Leonard... Sheesh this is so awkward. I'd be so sad if my family didn't make it to my wedding. And especially if they killed my pig (but in order for that to happen I'd have to own a pig)

Ummm Sheldon 'sleeve' is pronounced 'eve' because it has TWO E's. 'Lever' rhymes with 'ever'. End of story.

Penny is such a tattletale!!

How on earth did the guys manage to rip a stop sign out of the ground if they can't change the tire themselves?! AND HOW CAN SHELDON DO THAT EXCELLENT FREDDIE MERCURY IMPRESSION?!!

Aaaaaand they lit the van on fire. Thermite is dangerous. Don't try this at home, kids.

So nobody had a good weekend. Yay shared misery!