NCIS: Los Angeles - Matryoshka, Part 2

I am a bad fan.

I had a lot of assignment-y-type things due on Tuesdays through February, and as a result I would procrastinate and be doing them at the last minute. So I kept missing NCIS: LA. And then, when I got behind, I was just like 'ehhh I'm too tired to blog about it and catch up.' Bad. Shame on me.

So I'm gonna attempt to marathon all the things and catch up and yeah. (Even though I have a class presentation tomorrow, and one the day after that, and an assignment due the day after THAT.)

Anna is flirting with some dudes in Russian, in a bar. And then when she switches to English, she no longer sounds Russian. As per usual.

She lures one of the guys outside and then pushes him into a van, which just so happens to contain Sam. Hey this prison guard guy they kidnapped looks slightly like San Francisco Giants catcher Buster Posey! I'm gonna call him Russian Buster from here on out.

Real Buster has nicer hair, though. 

Everyone back at Ops (except Granger and Hetty) are super-worried about the risks being taken by Callen and Sam in Russia. Granger's all 'meh who cares if they die they die' and Hetty's like 'my team is invincible, what are you talking about'.

Someone sneaks up on Anna and she whips out her gun, but it's just a Hetty iPad attatched to a Segway.  Which is totally necessary. You know, she couldn't just use a phone or something. or Skype. Hetty would never use such a plebian method of communication.

I'm inclined to point out that Sheldon did it first. And better. 

Anna refuses to refer to Arkady as her dad. Oh good! She has daddy issues! Something else for her and Callen to bond over!!

Back at Ops, Eric and Nell run some simulations of the plan, and Nell delivers some badass wisdom on Granger when he says 'life isn't a video game'. Cos "In a video game, you get to start over."
Hey Granger, when have you ever played a video game?? They're fun. You hate fun.

For some reason, Anna is wearing a blanket, over her regular clothing to sleep - and then she falls asleep on Callen's shoulder like two sentences in to his description of the plan?? How ridiculously contrived is that?

For some reason there's some sketchy guy they need to investigate, and Granger decides to send Eric out in the field. ERIC?! And how dare you, sir, tell him to put on pants! He's clearly allergic to fabric beyond knee-length!

HAHAHA WE GOT ERIC FLEXING AND WEARING COMBAT PANTS AND OH MY GOD

Anna asks Callen what he 'thinks of her'. And he gives the only correct response - "That's... kind of a... broad question." Blah blah blaaah, bonding over absentee fathers, yadda yadda 'maybe broken is normal'... Gag me with a spoon.

The guy Deeks and Kensi were going to talk to does indeed start shooting, and Eric freezes up, but then he plays the hero, pulling out a flashbang that dazes the guy long enough for Deeks to shoot him. The others are impressed with his strategy, meanwhile I'm impressed with his aim! I think I kinda like Badass Beale.

Oh my god, they block the transport carrying Arkady and the CIA guy with a COW hahaha that's definitely something I've never seen before.

Nell is really proud of Eric for what he did earlier - and he looks at her with super-honest eyes and says he was scared that he - DAMNIT GRANGER YOU HAVE THE WORST TIMING, THEY WERE HAVING A MOMENT HERE!!!!

Granger, interrupting ALL your personal conversations.

They can't get out of Russia because the CIA guy is hurt so that would attract suspicion. He says he knew Callen way back in the day. He gets them to a safe house (which has a weirdly cryptic walkie talkie on the side of the road that claims to have an IED planted under it if he doesn't give the password. There's an old man at the house who has a meaningful look at Callen.

Callen finds a bunch of nesting dolls at the house, and one of those coins that his father had handed out to refugees in an earlier episode.

They have no choice but to leave on horseback, which Arkady is none too pleased about.

Callen and the old guy have a deep conversation without saying much at all. And then they get interrupted by the folks who are there to help them escape. DANGNABBIT! What's with all the interruptions?!! He says "I'll tell you another time". But you won't see him again!

HOLY CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!!!!!!

CALLEN HAS A FIRST NAME

IT'S GRISHA

AND HE HAS SOME MIDDLE NAMES TOO

You know, I'm not gonna lie, it's not the kind of name I would have expected for him. I was expecting something tough, like Gregor or Gabriel or Gryffindor.

But Callen will be Callen and he will be a badass no matter what his name is. I'm just so glad he knows! (But really, wouldn't that reveal have been best saved for like, a season finale or something?? I mean it's the ONE big mystery this show's had since Day One...)

NCIS: LA - Come Back

Oh my god! So remember how Kensi had that fiance who turned out to be a bad guy?? Well my roommates and I have been watching Scandal lately, and the guy who played her fiance was a double-crossing male hooker. Why does he always play sketchy dudes??

KENSI AND DEEKS ARE MOVING IN TOGETHER!!! YAAAY! Eric is excited for them and it's adorable.

Hetty owns a building where something sketchy happened, and then she sends Kensi and Deeks off cryptically to be on protection detail for someone - DUN DUNNN IT'S JACK, HER EX-FIANCE!!

Hi. Remember me?

Sam and Callen start bantering about something that Sam was writing on his computer that Callen accidentally read over his shoulder. They track down a car belonging to a Mabel Perkins, it's at a chop shop, and suddenly Callen and Sam are outnumbered by some thugs (also a squirmy little evil guy with an electric drill) but they make short work of them.

Jack had been acting as a guide for a dude named Riggs who was documenting historical sites and artifacts, but then working with some sketchy people who were probably planning to steal it. Jack alerted Hetty, and then someone tried to kill him. Hence the protective detail.

Nell used to have the nickname of Indiana Jones (how adorable is that) and then Eric mentions her needing a whip and she gets a little TOO excited about that.

I've got a costume idea for Nell's next Halloween...

Also she may or may not have spent a summer following a band around. I love it when the nerds get some character development!

Jack's married and Kensi does a terrible job of acting like she's fine with it. Granger shows up at the safe house unannounced and that's how you get shot, bro.

Replace 'ants' with ' getting shot' and yeah, basically. 

Callen and Sam show up at the motel where the shooter's car came from, and the guy at the desk lies to them, runs away, shoots at them and then gets shot by them... Because... I dunno. I'm lost.

There was a text on the dead guy's phone from someone called Geb (not Jeb) Callen asks 'as in Bush?' But no, that one's name would be pronounced Jeb-exclamation-point. John Oliver has taught me well. 

Something-something undercover meeting with the Riggs guy, yadda yadda I'm too tired for this stuff... Riggs and a shady Egyptian dude show up at the meeting point, call Sam on a phone, spy on him, and then speed away? What the hell was the point of that... 

Jack doesn't know what Netflix is. Because he's literally been living in a cave, remember? Poor guy... Life without Netflix *shudders*

For real Granger, announce yourself before knocking!! You should know better than that! 

Also Riggs is dead. Oopsie.

They think Jack might have betrayed everyone and told the bad guys where he was to save his family. And now he's getting all reminisce-y with Kensi. And then people start shooting at them, cos he's a dumb-dumb double-crosser and put her in danger. BTW that actor's name is Matthew Del Negro and he REALLY plays a type. The bad guy stands over Kensi waving a gun, Jack says 'no kill me instead' and then they all kind of stand around waiting for the backup to arrive just in time. 

Also it turns out Jack's brave would-be sacrifice was all for nothing, because Hetty placed his family under protection as soon as it appeared he was in danger. Sheesh. 

This woman thinks of everything. 

And then she gives Kensi a hug and makes her feel better. Awwe.

Deeks said 'Granger Danger' hahahaha I love it. And Jack approves of Deeks, which is a stupidly symbolic gesture cos I don't think it really mattered if he liked Deeks or not... Since, you know, Kensi's an adult and all...

And she ended the episode by saying 'always' and I JUST watched the last Harry Potter movie on Friday and Alan Rickman is dead and AGHHH now I'm reliving it Kensi why would you remind me of something so painful?!!?!?!!

NCIS: LA - Angels & Daemons

Callen's girlfriend Joelle isn't his girlfriend anymore, and she has another boyfriend ALREADY?! So naturally, Callen decides to run a background check on the guy... Also Sam is grumpy cos Callen ducked out of their carpool.

Have I told you recently that I love Eric's hair? Cos I love Eric's hair.

Tres chic, Mr. Beale.

There was a dead guy found in the marina, who wrote a book, that Sam read, (listened to) and also he was the head of a tech firm at some point and made a lot of moolah. His name was Overson, and his former partner in the tech company sued him and got no money, so now he's living in his car.

Nell doesn't like boats, neither do I. She goes to investigate Overson's boat with Kensi and Deeks, gets in some sass while she's at it. OK so Deeks made a clever joke about mishearing 'Silicon Beach' as 'Silicone' but when Kensi corrects him, she stresses the 'beach' part - twice. That's not the part he got wrong, girl. Strange choice of emphasis.

Apparently Overson was interested in backing an app that allows the anonymous posting of secrets (basically like Whisper, that stupid app that Buzzfeed keeps pushing on us).

Yup.

The girl at the company teared up when Kensi told her about Overson dying - I think they were more than coworkers...

Something something, they find the Powell guy who was supposed to be living in his car, something something, holy crap it's only 10:17??

Sam can maybe read minds and then guesses the colour Callen was thinking of. It was blue. Funny, I would have guessed gray. Callen likes gray. But he does wear an awful lot of blue (probably because it sets off his eyes!)

There's a secret code that Overson found embedded in one of the apps he was supporting, that somehow compromised national security (don't they always). This is the thing called the 'daemon' - hence the episode title.

It's the Flibbit (mock-Whisper) app that it was hidden in! The one with the redhead girl who was crying earlier. Someone needs to go undercover. That sounds exciting! Eric wants it to be him, but boo, it has to be Callen. Undercover Eric might have been fun. Kind of an adorable Chuck-esque type of flustered? Man, I miss Chuck.

Nell can be Sarah.

The lighting in Ops makes Eric's hair look green. Weird.

Sam tries to relate to the redheaded girl Jessica, about how they're both often overlooked (her cos she's female, Sam cos he's a racial minority). Callen loves the slide at the company. I could never use a slide at work - it would mess up my nice work clothes. You think they could ask for a slide at Ops? Actually, Granger would never allow it. It's a fun thing. Granger hates fun.

Kensi and Deeks go to talk to Powell's lawyer, but right before they reach him (they weren't hurrying, they were talking about puppies), he gets shot. Sniper-style.

Guns! Shooting! Excitement! 

Nell figures out that the shot came from the building that houses the Flibbit app office. Well isn't that convenient! The security guard gets in a fight with Sam, then he says that the programmer guy is a Palestinian cyberterrorist. But Callen was with him the whole time. It's a different person, a girl, who we've never even met. Also Deeks uses the word 'keytar'. 

Clearly, only psychopaths play the keytar. 

Also I'm pretty sure senators have better things to do than be on a stupid secret sharing app like this. At least I would hope so. 

Wow, they really got their money's worth out of that slide in this episode, didn't they? Turns out the lawyer sold the daemon to the bad guys who were Pakistani terrorists. There were three of them working at the app company - but none of them killed Overson. It was Powell. 

Callen had bought a ring for Joelle? Oh, poor sad Callen. Or maybe not. I can't tell. He's a good liar. 

NCIS: LA - Core Values

I didn't notice that 'kayak' was a palindrome. I love palindromes. And so does Eric. Awwwe. Callen just said 'Egad'. I'm dying.

The guy who collapsed, bleeding, at the beginning of the episode, was a marine who had radioactive poisoning. His wife is pregnant, and he told her he had taken on a second job - but he hadn't gotten that one, it was actually at a nuclear plant. Keeping secrets! Bad marine man!

We get in some more Callen jibes - "Maybe one day we'll discover that kale is poisonous and yoga's bad for your spine". I like his thinking (I hate kale, but you knew that already).

I'll take two of these. One for me, one for Callen. 

Oh hey! My dad and I both had a 'Hey I know that guy' moment - but about separate actors - mine was this guy, who played FBI agent Peter Elliot on CSI: Miami (I'm gonna refer to him as Peter) and dad's was about this guy who's playing a scientist. We both said each of them are always the bad guy... I wonder which one it'll be this time?

Kensi and Deeks both go undercover at the nuclear plant where the poisoned marine had been moonlighting, he as a security guard, she as a janitor. It's weird though, he was observing a group of protesters outside the plant, and one of them was talking into a megaphone, and he sounded exactly like Deeks.

Deeks wants to have a moustache, Kensi disagrees. He compares himself to Albert Einstein.

Well, I mean, they both rock the poufy-hair look.

But just because one can pull off a beard, does not mean they can pull off a moustache. Let this photo of Toronto Blue Jay Russell Martin be exhibit A:

And click here if you need proof that Russell looks his best at his beardliest. (That's totally a word)

Someone left a note for Sam to meet him in secret, it was the scientist guy. He said one of the pools under which the radioactive material is stored was significantly drained and the plant is a 'disaster waiting to happen'. And Peter wouldn't let him tell Sam & Callen.

Granger went to talk to the poisoned Marine, and they had the exact same tone of voice. One of them has radioactivity poisoning, and the other one is just a boring person. I'll let you guess who was who.

The fuel rods of radioactive material were exposed because of the drop in pool level - and there was a two-hour 'glitch' in the video feed as the pool was being drained. There's no backup. And that was the night that the guard was poisoned.

So my dad was right at first, the scientist guy is the one who shut off the valve and turned off the alarm and the backup pool-filling stuff. The guard went in and looked around on his rounds while the water level was low and that was how he got exposed. Poor guy, just doing his job, wrong place wrong time. Scientist-guy says no one was supposed to get hurt, he was just trying to make it obvious apparent to the public how the plant was unsafe. But it's early in the episode, so clearly we're not done.

Just as Kensi and Deeks are leaving the building, the small shed-type building behind them explodes. It held the backup generators for the cooling system. The team finds a bomb wrapped around a pipe that sends water into the cooling pools, so when it goes off it'll cut off the water and expose the fuel rods.

There was a reason they showed the protesters outside - their leader was the one who came in and planted the explosive. He had told the scientist-guy that he was a professor of environmental studies and the scientist guy was dumb enough to believe him and get him a fake ID to come in and study the pools.

Callen and Sam manage to pry the charge off the pipe and Callen runs it outside and dumps it in some barrels of water - but then the scientist points out that that wouldn't have effectively emptied the pool (it would have taken too long) so everyone freaks out and Sam realizes it's a diversion - he planted a much bigger explosive under the pool that would create a hole and drain the pools. I would just like to say 'underneath a pool containing tons of radioactive material' is a really dumb place for a utility room.

This new bomb has a pendulum that would detonate it if it swung too much.

"I'm disassembling a bomb"

Hetty calls in and says to pull the first responders away, she thinks the perp is trying to hurt as many people as possible - and then Sam has an idea to yank the blasting caps out of the plastic explosive VERY CAREFULLY and throw them at least 6 inches away from the explosive before the cell phone connects, but they can't be holding the thing or else they'll lose a hand. THIS SOUNDS LIKE A BAD IDEA TO ME.

Deeks and Kensi find the perp sitting outside at a cafe (cos he wouldn't go back to his secret lair to set off a nuclear disaster, oh no, he's right out there in public) and ruin his phone, then pull guns on him, but then he pulls out a BACKUP phone and tries to take a woman hostage, it all happens very fast but basically he dials the number and calls, then they shoot him, Kensi and Deeks freak out "It's connected!" Sam and Callen pull out the blasting caps but have to run just as a guy in a bomb suit shows up and yanks the whole thing away from the plastic and dives on it as a small explosion goes off beneath him (just the caps, not the plastic, thank god)

Sam and Callen run back in and tell him he has 'some big stones, my man' and thank him, then he takes his helmet off and OH MY GOD IT'S GRANGER?!! Sam looks like he immediately wants to take back the 'big stones' comment and I don't blame him. But holy hell, I think that was the most exciting thing Granger's ever done. Or second-most, after showing up at that insane cult place and ending that standoff. That was pretty badass.

The next scene Kensi and Deeks are in the hospital, the wife delivered her baby but the husband's lungs are filling up with fluid and he can't breathe anymore. So for some random reason (my dad questioned this, I mean there are nurses EVERYWHERE) the lady decides to hand her baby to Kensi and Kensi looks as freaked out as Rachel from Friends the first time she held Ben.

"This IS how I would hold a football..."

But then she and Deeks sing 'Twinkle Twinkle' to him and everything is all right... Except that his father is dying in the room right behind him and that's sad as hell, but instead we're just supposed to focus on Kensi and Deeks and a baby (because if this isn't foreshadowing then I don't know what is).

NCIS: LA - Cancel Christmas

[NOTE: Sorry, Student Emily was drunk on happiness over finishing her last exam tonight (and of the following sassy photo of Josh Donaldson in a Santa hat AND a sweater bearing his own likeness) that she forgot to pay attention to the time and missed the beginning of NCIS:LA today.

Hopefully you can't blame me for being distracted by this. It's pretty great.

So she had to wait until it got uploaded online. As a result, she's now writing this after midnight, as Sleepy Emily, and is referring to herself in third person. This should make for an interestingly nonsensical recap.]

Christmas! Christmas is coming!! That little tiny toy train close-up at the beginning is kinda ominous though. So is the song slowing down and everything getting blurry. And then a dude gets hit by a truck. Yeouch.

NELLRICK ARE DANCING!!! Not in a romantic way - but with giant candy canes! SO CUTE!!! But Granger doesn't like it. Because he hates fun. And cute things. He might be allergic to them.

See?

But it's OK, Hetty delivers some shade. #HettyTheBest

Janvier (the one-armed psychopath that wants to kill Callen) sent Callen a Christmas card. It's the only one he got, other than Sam's. Sam takes offense to their proximity to one another. Is that a thing? You need to not put cards from murderers next to ones from your friends? 

Joelle makes an appearance! AND CALLEN GOT ONE OF THOSE CAR-RUDOLPH KITS!!! I LOVE RUDOLPH!!! 

Don't believe me? These are my socks.

And I own this shirt. His nose lights up. I'm a dork. 

Deeks and Kensi are having issues with their mothers who both want to cook Christmas dinner. Sam's grumpy, cos he doesn't want to have to work anymore - and he's mean to Eric. But Kensi thought he was adorable, and Kensi is right! Yaaaay Kensi! 

Dead dude was a North Korean spy. Deeks wants to go work on the case, but Callen declines. Also, I really love Deeks. 'Knuckleheadedness' is totally a word, Sam, even if my spellchecker doesn't think so. They find a dead guy who's not actually dead, he's just passed out. 

Deeks is talking to a Santa-bikini-wearing charity-gathering girl who saw the guy die at the beginning. Apparently 'tannenbaum' is the Christmas word for bingo! I will be using that this season. Deeks and Kensi are having their coupley discussions about lingerie in the middle of the street. As one does. 

WTF Granger, why are you in such a rage?! Because 'terrorism doesn't take holidays' apparently. What a grumpypants. Eric snuggled sugar cookies into Ops, because Eric is wonderful. I don't usually love shortbread, but they had some at my school cafeteria the other day and it made me SO HAPPY!! 

Kensi wants to raise a baby tiger and Kensi just said the word 'bitches' like what is happening here? But baby tigers are damn cute. 

Exhibit A (Hiiiii Joey Bats!) 

Someone turned the gas on in the dead guy's house, and Deeks and Kensi run out but it doesn't go KABOOM like I was expecting it to. Disappointing. 

Some girl fake-cries in front of Callen, then tries to attack him (why do bad guys always make grunting noises right before attacking someone?) and he takes her in for questioning because she poisoned the dead guy right before he died. (Was that Jeanette McCurdy?? It looked like Jeanette McCurdy) and the guy they found in the motel had just gotten out of prison so he asks to borrow some clothes, Granger says 'no' because Granger is a Grinch.

I see the resemblance. 

Also I'm calling him 'Grinchger' from now on. Got it? Good. Callen is nice and offers to help him. Good guy Callen. Eric is rambling on on the phone to Deeks, and he's having a sugar high it's kind of adorable. Deeks takes a fun hypothetical conversation and turns it into a confession about the IA investigation. Your timing is bad, Deeks, and you should feel bad. 

But somehow Kensi had figured it out?! Smartypants Kensi!!! Proud of that girl. It turns into a really cute conversation where he says he needs to kiss her and she says no cos they're working and waahhh why don't I have a boyfriend... 

The girl's mom shot Grinchger in the ass, apparently, and he carries around a photo of her for some reason. He offers her a warm beverage (because that's what you do when someone is sad) and says it has poison in it, because he too hates the holidays.

Callen dropped off the just-out-of-prison guy, is all nice to him, but then they find out that he actually knew the girl and took off from the house with their dog. Nell and Eric want puppies. I want to see Nell and Eric with puppies. The cuteness overload would be worth it. SMART DUDE he had the names of spies embedded in the chip in his dog, took it to a shelter, and got them to read the list. 

Callen tracks him down and puts him in a cage, has some more witty banter (I love you Callen) and they take him to set up a meet with the bad Korean buyers.  

OK I understand that going undercover and tackling the Korean spies was necessary, but did Deeks really have to dress as Santa?! He's gonna scar all those kids for life!! Sam shows up with his son, who was supposed to wait in the car, but didn't. Which might have been a good idea, because as Chuck taught us... 

He's instead super-interested in becoming an NCIS agent. Which Sam is not OK with - even if he's alright with him being in the Navy? 

Kensi wants Deeks to bring his Santa outfit, and they manage to solve their mother problem, inviting them instead to Sam's house. Hetty has a back-up gift for Callen for Joelle, because Hetty thinks of everything, and then NELL AND ERIC SHOW UP DRESSED LIKE TOY SOLDIERS!!! And Granger catches them and tells them to have fun. SO DAMN CUTE!!!! THEY'RE LIKE TEENY PRECIOUS ELVES!!! 

Except they're not elves they're soldier/nutcracker thingies, but who cares THEY'RE SO GOSHDARN CUTE!!!! 

Callen shows up at home, Joelle loves that he got her a gift, she set up a nice dinner for them - and then proceeds to tell him she is going to break up with him at New Years?! Because she worries about him too much?! Joelle you heartless fiend, who has that conversation on Christmas?!!!! 

Merry Christmas, friends!! I, for one, think we can be thankful this didn't end on a cliffhanger! See you in the new year!! 

NCIS: LA - Internal Affairs

So Deeks was arrested, and taken to jail, and some guy comes in and smacks/chokes him while a lady-detective from Internal Affairs was trying to interview him. Ugh.

Boyle (the dead cop) was the guy Deeks explained earlier had put a gun in his mouth, he ended up shot by a hooker he'd assaulted... Supposedly. And the guy attacking Deeks in the interview room was Boyle's old partner.

There's no caption, but you get the gist. 

So the team is gonna investigate, naturally. Deeks kept asking the woman interviewing him for some kind of coffee. So full of the sarcasm and wittiness, as per usual. And Callen may or may not be having relationship issues.

Some dirty cop guy named John Quinn escaped from prison. The police are tearing up Deeks' house and his mom is freaking out. The dead guy's partner, Steadman, was a degenerate gambler and had a female partner who then was killed during a drug bust, which is a little too convenient for Steadman...

Deeks' mom comes to visit him and mentions the fact that he'd had to shoot his father in order to protect her, which is really freaking sad, but didn't we already know that?  

Or is that just a really common character background story? I am confuse!

There was a girl named Julie, a.k.a. Tiffany, who Deeks' cover persona keeps sending money to - she was a hooker who used to be Deeks' informant. She was the one who had supposedly killed Boyle - but says she didn't, she was working with Quinn to bust Boyle, she says Quinn must have killed him - and Deeks helped her get back on her feet because he was the only cop she could trust.

Unless Deeks pleads guilty to the murder he didn't commit, he will be put in a county jail. And Kensi is pissed. She lectures Hetty and says she doesn't care how she does it, she has to get Deeks out. That was... kind of insane.

Kensi and Mrs. Deeks share a nice touching moment - but while Deeks was being interrogated, the lieutenant in charge of the IA department (he'd stopped Steadman from attacking him earlier) comes in and helps him escape. Well this is unexpected - and exciting!

I love a good plot twist!! 

Deeks goes to the house of Quinn's girlfriend, who Sam and Callen had talked to (reluctantly on her part) the day before - but Steadman beat him there and is attacking the girl, Monica - then Deeks is a smartypants and says the stash of whatever he was looking for is under the trap door in the floor of the interrogation room.

Then he brilliantly gets the door open and tells Monica to dive through it, he follows her and they get away! Steadman runs outside - right into the rest of the team. And Kensi points her gun right at him, all badass-like until the rest of the team calls her off - then she realizes where Deeks is and she runs and embraces him which is adorable. And then this happened:

Callen: How come you're never that happy to see me?
Sam: I carry my joy inside
Callen: What does that even mean?
Sam: Means you won't be getting a hug anytime soon.

Those two are the absolute best. I think Granger said it best

Oh, and it turns out Quinn hadn't escaped at all - Hetty had him relocated and faked his escape, and she got the 'stash' and had it planted in Steadman's garage.

But Deeks actually did kill Boyle. Wow. Didn't see that coming. Hetty basically tells him he should break up with Kensi if he can't tell her about the whole killing-a-guy-to-protect-a-hooker thing.

NCIS: LA - Defectors

I somehow accidentally had the described video on for the first five minutes. I have no idea how it got turned on, and I have no idea how I managed to turn it off again, but DAMN that stuff is thorough. "Callen sits back and looks at Kensi's desk." The only problem is, it pauses during the dialogue, so I couldn't tell if I'd actually managed to turn it off or not.

A guy got hit by a car after getting out of his car at a stoplight because his gas cap was open. The guy who hit him was suspected of being a terrorist. His wife(? Girlfriend?) looks like she's 12 years old.

Callen bought Kensi a self-help book because she makes a mess all over his desk all the time (but Deeks put him up to it)

Wow, this whole episode is about ISIS and its recruiting tactics. I can see why they didn't air it last week. Also ride-sharing apps are the devil. But that's nothing new.

The team goes to a house and pulls guns on an unsuspecting woman and her daughter, and holds said guns on her even after she explains her other daughter has been 'taken'. The daughter was probably recruited to ISIS. Oh dear.

Callen just said 'that's my girl' to Nell and I said 'awwwwwe'!!

I sense a big brother/little sister vibe here

The sister is obnoxiously ditzy-sounding. Like she'd fit in better with on a Disney Channel show. Apparently the missing girl, Zahra, was watching ISIS propaganda videos. She's flying to Turkey to offer herself as a bride. And she was approached by a modelling agency that may have been a front. Yeesh. Can't trust anybody!

Hetty knew Jackie O, and I am not at all surprised. Kensi has to go undercover as a model. How does nobody ever hear her when she's talking to Deeks through her earpiece?! She's not exactly subtle... Just like when she was digging through the file cabinet at the modelling agency and the creepy blonde lady catches her. Or when the guy who owns the modelling agency was having an affair in the back seat of his car and Deeks catches HIM!

Well that was an awkward conversation

Zahra wasn't on the plane she was supposed to be on, but some other girls have also gone missing and might be sent to Iran - or, they're with the creepy photographer guy from the modelling agency. And Zahra was locked in the trunk of a car.

Plus Kensi was smart and convinced the other two girls to go home. Kensi and Deeks start bantering and Callen and Sam exchange a look.

Except they're Granger in this scenario

Then Kensi and Deeks walk outside, still bantering, and there are two dudes in suits near his car, and then they arrest him, for murder?!!

And then he turns and looks at Kensi and says 'I love you' but it was in a weird tone, like 'Oh, yeah, by the way', not really a declaration of love as you're being led away in handcuffs kinda thing...

And oh yeah, that's where they leave it. No further explanation. Cliffhanger.

And we all know how I feel about cliffhangers...

NCIS: LA - The Long Goodbye

So they changed the episode that was supposed to air tonight, in light of the terrorist attacks in Paris over the weekend, because it was supposed to be about ISIS. Definitely a smart move on CBS's part, but the opening scene involved a bomb and a bunch of shooting, I'm not sure how that's much better.
And in terms of rearranging the episodes, I'm not sure how they will swing that with the non-case-related plot items being out of order. I'm (pleased, but) surprised they didn't just bump all the episodes forward a week and air a rerun this week.

Callen is a good friend, offering to help Kensi with a situation with a PSB ('Parking Space Bitch') at Starbucks. She's right though, sometimes women DO just want to vent without people offering advice or a solution! I wish my guy friends (and my mom) would understand that!!

Sam's old 'friend' Jada was the one who was attacked and kidnapped - she was on her way to the States to go into witness protection. There's something to do with a cartel, and she might have been running away from the NCIS folks because she doesn't trust them.

Oh, BTW, Talia is back. She and Kensi are undercover. As models. With the cartel.

DEEKS WANTS TO HANG OUT WITH CALLEN!!! I want them to be buddies!!! They're my faves. "What could you possibly have plans for, staring at the ocean smoldering?"

I am certain that Callen making this face would be my favourite thing ever.

Kensi finds a guy at the party who's on a laptop looking at photos of Jada, and she pretends to want to dance with him, but then Talia's connection gets all annoyed with her, and they kick his butt. Everyone else runs away, instead of trying to fight the girls.

For some reason, the girls are getting changed behind a screen. In the middle of Ops. Right in front of the guys. Do you guys not have a bathroom or something? This is seriously weird.

Sam's interrogating a guy who thinks he knows everything about what happened with him and Jada. Sam is about to get up and probably strangle the dude, but Hetty intervenes. Good timing, Hetty.

Callen and the team follow someone to a theater, where he takes part in a shady handoff with someone in a hoodie - except the guy in the hoodie isn't a guy at all, it's Jada! And she gets in a car and takes off!

For some reason Jada wants to go back to Sudan but this is so confusing, I mean she was on this show like 3, 4 seasons ago?? HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO KEEP TRACK OF ALL THESE PEOPLE?!! They need to stop doing this!!! Sam wants to prevent her from going back to Sudan because he thinks she'll be killed.

Talia also has a PSB of her own, and she offers to have a talk about it. So sweet. Callen is still not taking sides. Love him.

The head cartel guy shoots the agent who was helping Jada, as she's about to get on a plane - and then Callen shoots that guy, but he tells Callen that he's not actually the Molina guy. Turns out the guy in the interrogation room with Sam was actually Molina. Jada's brother had told him that he was going to kill her. And literally no one is surprised.

Callen hands Jada his phone, with Sam on the other end, and he tells her that her brother's waiting to kill her. She chooses to leave anyways. Damn, this is sad. She's so lonely she just wants to go home even if that means death. Or else she's delusional about who her brother is.

Talia is now flirting with Callen, and agrees that he would give a good smolder. But nobody wants to hang out with Deeks. Poor Deeks.

NCIS: LA - An Unlocked Mind

I missed the beginning of the episode because I was at the library working on an essay. By the time I got home, too much had happened so I kind of didn't know what was going on. Soooo I forgot about it until today. Oopsie. (Darn schoolwork!)

There's a woman running in the woods, then she gets in a car and creepy people are following her, she gets in a car and there's another creepy person in there too. She punches that person and manages to drive away.

Deeks is surprisingly flexible. The lady at the beginning was the wife of a DARPA engineer named David who was a member of a weird church (a.k.a. a CULT) and Deeks & Kensi are going undercover!! Deeks is a good actor but he's also a bit of a perv haha and he thinks Nell is turning into Hetty.

If by that, he means 'tiny and badass', then yes. 

How the hell do a huge bunch of people just randomly decide they want to join a 'church'?! Do these people not have lives? Jobs? Families? The leader is very creepy and looks extremely familiar, he wants to see how 'open' Kensi is and I just threw up a little bit. (The guy who played him was a recurring character on Criminal Minds, but I probably also recognized him because he was in one of my favourite CSI episodes, 'Who Shot Sherlock'.) They keep saying "Welcome to the best part of your life" which should be a red flag right there.

Turns out the cult used to take in high-up executives from big corporations and then steal their companies' secrets. And now they've graduated to stealing defense secrets. Also, the one guy Adam, who's guiding Deeks was totally on another episode of this very show.

They put them in the pool and, naturally, Kensi and Deeks are singled out and they hold him underwater for an unnatural length of time even though he told them he was afraid of water after almost drowning as a kid (a lie) but of course, now his communication with the team in Ops is compromised. Why are those earwig things not waterproof?

The DOJ don't want them to 'poke the bear' of the church, or put agents under cover inside. Oopsie...

The defense contractor guy David has to do his 'work', which is picking up rocks from a field that were probably placed there intentionally - but when he talks to Deeks, someone else takes him away to the 'Discipline Arena' which sounds very medieval and not at all fun.

The women are even creepier than the men, they sit around glassy-eyed, drinking wine and apparently massage each other. Sounds like Real Housewives, but without the catfighting.

Deeks shows up at the Discipline Arena and they're literally doing 'Simon Says' until two of the guys start fighting. And it also involves them being told to slap themselves. Several times, Deeks makes a 'what the hell is happening here' face.

It's like this, but it's on Deeks instead of a baby. 

Sam and Nell get to go into the field, following the guy who owns the church and his shady dealings with shady Chinese people. Granger stands up to the DOJ guy and it's kind of badass. 

The women all start talking about how they're 'like sisters' and seriously, were these ladies rejected from American horror Story?? Because they're SO CREEPY!! And they drugged Kensi! Oh no! 

CREEPY CULT LADIES AND DUDE ARE TRYING TO RAPE KENSI GET HER THE HELL OUTTA THERE!!! 

David decides he wants to leave, Deeks volunteered to help him, and then chaos ensues. Deeks kicks a guy's ass using a rolled-up magazine but then David chickens out and Deeks is trapped (I think? It cut to commercial)

Yeah, he's trapped. A hive mind is an extremely dangerous thing. Eventually David comes to his senses, but not before everyone else's butts get whooped. 

Even Drugged Kensi is stronger than most sober people - she headbutts the leader and punches the creepy lady leader. 

Sam tells Callen that they've caught the Chinese guy, and Callen decides to rush into the compound because Kensi managed to contact them and tell them she'd been drugged. 

The FBI shows up, and the DOJ guy tries to stop Callen from moving in, then Granger goes all badass again, and this happens:

"We could use your help"

*FBI guys nod*

"And you... Stay the hell out of our way"

*DOJ guy looks conflicted*

But Sam lied. He hadn't found the guy. VERY CLEVER, SAM! 

Suddenly the cult members all have guns. That's not good. Deeks just straight-up tackles a dude and takes his gun. This is a really stupid place to have a compound, with no walls or anything, if you're afraid of people escaping. The dude Kensi head-butted shows up, he's gotten dressed but his nose is bloody, and he has his own gun. And it's shiny. 

He also tells the cult members to 'get the barrels and the lye' because clearly they have a process for these things, and it involves murder. He tells David that he's about to 'leave this physical plane' and right on cue, Granger shows up with the FBI agents and says 'welcome to my physical plane!' (If this was not airing on TV he would have followed up with 'motherf***er', I'm sure of it.)

Jon is a fan of Badass Granger

Not to be outdone, Callen slides in with a one-liner of his own - "Welcome to the worst part of your life."

The DOJ guy threatens to arrest Sam for lying to him, then all the other team members (first Callen, then Granger) tell him it was actually each of their faults for the lying. And then Nell (bless her!) pipes up with "I threatened Agent Hanna with physical bodily harm if he didn't lie to you. Made even more entertaining by the fact that she's standing next to him as she says it. 

All 5-foot 1 1/2" of her next to 6-foot something of him. (Hey, she's shorter than me!) 

Awkward moment when Kensi and Deeks are kissing in the boatshed and Hetty appears on the monitor hahaha gotta love her timing! But David and his wife are reunited and safe! Yaaay! And nobody had to shoot a bad guy this week! That's some kind of NCIS: LA record, right?! 

NCIS: LA - Unspoken

Sketchy meet-up in an alley is sketchy. Shootout ensues. And an explosion. What fun!

It always comes back to this GIF. 

Deeks and I share a love for long-sleeved baseball tees. They're so comfy. Kensi and Deeks have no boundaries. NO BOUNDARIES WHATSOEVER!

The guy who was standing in front of the building when it exploded was an old partner of Sam's. His name's Mark, he works for ATF. Naturally, Sam wants to vouch for him. But he went back into the building and retrieved a case full of money. Not looking good for his innocence. But it never does.

The guy Mark used to be a drug addict but he's supposed to have been clean for a long time. Sam believes this, nobody else does. They go to his house and his son refers to Sam as a 'super ginormous man' hahaha

They track Mark down, but he runs. How dare you push your old partner into a bicycle!! How dare you, sir!

Tell him, Sherri

OK s Mark went back undercover and tried to do the transaction by himself and then the bad guy threatened to kill Sam... I'm not sure what was happening, I got a giant book in the mail and it distracted me. My bad.

Sam is talking with a really bad accent - and he manages to convince the henchmen to turn on their boss. Good job Sam.

They go to a storage locker (aren't those places so useful for hiding illegal stuff?) and Mark turns on Sam because of some weird jealousy. I think he thinks Sam slept with his wife? Huh? Where did that come from?

Seriously, Sam's accent is not good. I don't know if that was an acting choice, or if LL Cool J just can't do accents. Either way...

The one bad guy's brother was in custody but he tried to attack an agent so Granger shot him. Now they can't use him to lure in the other guy. Oh dear.

Hetty tells a sad story about why Sam wants to believe in Mark. It's sad.

Why would you hold an open flame to a piece of explosive? Isn't the whole point that it will explode? I don't get it.

Mark saves Sam's life, and then gets shot. Really? They're gonna let him die now? Just after he redeems himself?!! Oh, no, they're not. Because he redeemed himself.