Bones - The Mutilation of the Master Manipulator.

Aubrey is a genius. And Booth has to do traffic school. With a condescending cartoon policeman. Sounds like the driving program I did... I have no idea why they make them like that. Anyone taking that program is at least 16! Not five!

Some children who were trying an insane stunt managed to help Bones find the skull, and Hodgins was impressed by them.

WENDELL'S BAAAACK!!! The victim was a professor who was on sabbatical and therefore not reported missing. And Bones thinks flowers are 'all wrong' and Aubrey is a genius again - high-pH of blood in soil can change the colour of flowers. Aubrey refers to the FBI as the 'super-police' and it's adorable.

Baby Wendell is done with the medication, and flirting with his nurse. So cute. She has a 'survey' she needs to ask him questions for - and the page is blank hahaha man I love his smile...

Feel that? That's your heart melting.

Kitty!! There was a kitty in the cupboard in the dead guy's house. Hodgins likes it. That's so sweet.

My boys!! Side note - Wendell is ROCKING that spacesuit.

And there's a video of a woman screaming on the victim's tablet - apparently his neighbours heard screaming. It was a psychological test about how long people would continue being obedient even if they were causing someone pain.

Hodgins uses some kind of crazy centrifuge to magically turn the colour of the flowers. It would smell amazing in that room right now. And he just casually draws his own blood for the experiment. I'm with Angela and Cam on this one - what the hell, dude?

I think Wendell's hair has gotten darker... Do people actually still go on picnics? And he loves science and cheesy 80s music. I love science and cheesy 80s music! Apparently making out requires the soundtrack of Foreigner's 'Waiting for a Girl Like You'. Must remember that...

One of the suspects is a student that was used in the experiment - he broke into the professor's house and blamed him for 'showing him that he was actually a sadistic monster' because he became a criminal after taking part in the experiment. Reeeally... Way to take responsibility for your own actions.

I actually kinda feel bad for this guy now that Aubrey's actually interviewed him - he feels really guilty about what he thought he'd done during the experiment. And then he was in a mental hospital for almost 2 years. That can't have been pleasant.

But good for Wendell, getting a girlfriend!! It's been too long! But now he's suddenly acting all awkward. And less enthusiastic than her.. because 'everything is happening so fast'. Damn it! Don't be that guy, Wendell! You're better than that!

Brennan even notices that Wendell's distracted (after he was 'smiling excessively the year before') Wendell plays reverse-God and says 'let there NOT be light' as he's adjusting his simulator. It makes me dizzy. The poor kitty wants to eat Hodgin's lizard. (Not a euphemism - he has a lizard in a cage in the lab next to the cat from the house).

One of the other students (who also had an affair with the victim) was expelled from school after he broke up with her. And she made an ugly sculpture which could have been the murder weapon. Ugh. Ugly sculptures.

OK sometimes when I'm not looking at the screen, I can't tell if it's Aubrey talking or Booth. This is so weird. Also the artist said art is 'freeing and cathartic' and Aubrey said 'yeah sometimes killers say murdering people is freeing and cathartic'. He's so clever!

Wendell's girlfriend keeps texting and calling him and now I feel kinda bad for her... Damnit Wendell! What are you doing!!

Booth teaches Aubrey that when Brennan talks all scienc-ey, you don't need to know what she's saying, you just need to nod and then wait for her to explain. Brennan got one of Booth's traffic questions wrong and then wants to argue with the cartoon Officer Stop-and-Go. Because, you know, she's never wrong.

Brennan's faith in her own intelligence is unshakeable.

The assistant/current girlfriend snuck into the victim's house, which is not at all suspicious. And Aubrey is bringing the sarcasm and I love it!!

Wendell's pestering girlfriend shows up at work. OK now I'm getting a little suspicious of her! It's been one day!! He's having issues but she's not reacting appropriately! And now he's starting to cry because he didn't want to get close to her and then have her see him die and this is turning into The Fault in Our Stars and I'm freaking out because (spoiler alert) the guy with cancer is the one who dies in that story!!! I just want to give him a hug...

She gives him a beautiful little speech about 'death just being part of the deal' and her aunt dying and then asks if PDA is ok in the lab (because everyone does it all the time anyway although she wouldn't know that) but Cam tells him off - making her a wee bit of a hypocrite - and he smiles and my heart melts again. Awww. You go, nurse girl!! He's back to smiling excessively!!

SOMEONE TRIED TO POISON THE CAT!! THIS IS NOT OKAY!!! And Aubrey and Brennan have apparently developed a shorthand. Booth is not pleased at being left out. Brennan thinks Aubrey's 'competent' and YES, that is a compliment!! Way to go!!!

He's officially Brennan (and Emily) approved!

The neighbour bird-watcher lady apparently is the one who did it, because the cat ate an endangered species of bird. That might have been motive to attempt and kill the cat (even though YOU DO NOT HARM KITTIES!!) but how the hell does that escalate to killing a person?!! Crazy bird lady is crazy!

Booth thinks Brennan 'drives like a grandma.' She's the 'Slow and the Serious', instead of the Fast and the Furious. I see what you did there, Booth. I see it and I like it.

Big Bang Theory - The Misinterpretation Agitation

[This episode aired October 30th, 2014] Sorry for being late.

Amy totally has a point about the '50 sexiest female scientists' article... I mean really? Is that necessary? I hate to go all feminist on this, but come on, Bernadette is a GENIUS, how has that never landed her in a magazine before? Or Amy for that matter! Anyway...

Sheldon loves delivery people. And I knew as soon as he said who he was that this doctor-guy was there to see Penny. Also, are we really supposed to buy that Penny, in her tiny apartment, wasn't able to answer her door in the time it took Sheldon to tell Leonard in his roundabout way that the guy was there?? That was a run-on sentence, but I'm tired. She always appears to be standing right behind it whenever Sheldon knocks! And then they had that lengthy conversation with him in the hallway!!

OK I'm coming to realize it's possible she was not home... Or asleep. Or in the shower. Or something.

Bernadette mentioned Neil Degrasse-Tyson, so now I get to use this picture:

Teehee.

Oh god, Bernadette pulled they 'you're just jealous' card, so Amy got mad.. Crap. Low blow, Bernie. Friends don't mock friends' lack of sex lives.

I'm pretty sure the sweater Penny is wearing is from Old Navy - I don't even work there anymore, but I still have the majority of their stock memorized. I need to stop shopping online. You don't want to see my credit card statements. And of course Sheldon likes this doctor guy!! And here's his problem: HE COUNTED MISSISSIPILY!!! YOU NEVER COUNT MISSISSIPILY!!!

Ross learned that the hard way.

I'm really not impressed with the ladies this episode - Penny with the whole deceitful pretending-she's-single thing, Bernadette being mean to Amy... Although the Penny thing did lead to this delightful exchange (probably my favourite part of the episode):

 

 

 

Say what you will about him, Sheldon is a very gracious host.

I only just now realized that the doctor guy is Billy Bob Thornton. My IMDb-brain is slipping!! Maybe because he's missing the beard. I'm gonna go with that. Howard is ever the hypocrite, judging a guy for living with his mother. And Sheldon compares Leonard to Donkey Kong - one of his more original zingers.

How does Billy Bob (hey, he has the same initials as the show! It's meant to be!) manage to keep catching friends of Penny's when he goes to their apartment building?? His timing is remarkable. And OH DEAR GOD he took advice on women from Sheldon of all people. And I'm thinking he's a little bit like a serial killer now, what with locking the guys in his basement. Either that or I've been watching too much Criminal Minds lately... Hmm...

Oops. (I did not make this.)

Bernadette also has incredible timing! And there was a REALLY subtle Halloween reference - that random skeleton decoration in the lobby of the apartment building. Really? Given that this is Sheldon's favourite holiday, I'm sure he would have at least been wearing a costume. I'm very disappointed.

Well that's all for this week - hopefully next week I'll have the BBT blog up by Friday. But TV scheduling sucks. As does school. Goodnight!

Bones - The Purging of the Pundit

I call bullshit on those two girls who found the body. They should be running and screaming, not just standing there staring...

Bones is channeling Sweets somehow, and spouting psychology, which is a pretty interesting departure from the norm. And damnit Booth, now I want pancakes. I have a serious question - do the two of them actually go to work in the morning? Or do they just sit around waiting for a phone call? It always seems that they get the call during breakfast...

Aubrey showed up at the crime scene and started gagging and it was hilarious. He's not impressed by the little weasels (literally) that were eating the evidence.

What the hell is this?? Another new squintern?!! Oh wait. No. This is the Cuban guy, he was on one episode last season but I forgot. Cam says no crying, that will contaminate the remains. I would have thought that was common practice in the lab, but apparently not!

The body is identified as a radio personality - a really aggressive and obnoxious one, apparently. Sounds like Rush Limbaugh. Aubrey also blames himself for Sweets being dead. Apparently his being there is the reason Sweets was killed. I'd just like to throw this out there:

Aubrey is Egon, Booth is Venkman. But it's okay, I forgive you buddy.

"So clean he's practically Canadian" is apparently a stage of criminal-record-having.

They're two for two in the last episodes with obnoxiously patriotic suspects.. "Haven't you ever heard of the fourth amendment?" "Yeah, it's great for people who have something to hide."

Booth keeps pushing Aubrey away, even though he just wants to help - this seems oddly familiar...

One of their suspects who wrote angry letters to the radio host is making a bomb because he's a crazy Neo-Nazi and I just want to punch him through the TV. But Booth tricks him into making a false confession by saying something that wasn't true, and the guy enthusiastically agreed.

Apparently the victim was really into BDSM and apparently Booth likes it when Bones bites him... Hahaha he says he'd maybe get to 'two shades of grey' but he wouldn't make it as far as 50.

Side note: Excellent Halloween costume

Angela and the Dr. Fuentes are discussing ball gags and it's awkward  because she's sorta-flirting with him but then is like 'no wait' and backpedals.

Apparently his dominatrix left him bound up to the chair, but didn't smash in his nose (which is what killed him because he couldn't breathe). Well that's... helpful.

Booth references a Rolling Stones song (which I am now going to have stuck in my head...) and Aubrey grew a backbone during the last commercial break and confronts Booth about how he has trust issues. I'm impressed. Especially since he said that "Sweets trusted me to work with you. So when you're insulting me, you're insulting Sweets." Wow.

They found deer fur on the body, and Bambi is not a murderer, but the bad guy's boss is - he's a deer hunter, and confessed to finding the victim dead, and then trying to dispose of the body. Brennan gets a few zingers in about how he doesn't believe in climate change and how SCIENCE is what got him caught because he was too stupid to properly dispose of evidence. 

Thank you Jesse

Booth is getting pissed off because Bones keeps using psychology and she's giving him a history lesson. And she also tells him to trust Aubrey because she "I know a good man when I see one. I picked you, didn't I?" Touche!

Turns out the co-host of the radio show is the one who killed him, because he was actually on the political 'left' and got fed up with the host's opinions. And Aubrey is good at regurgitating scientific words Bones gives him. Awww and then he shows up at their house and gives them a bottle of wine, and Booth admits that he likes Aubrey (but wouldn't to Aubrey's face, of course).

Bones - The Lance in the Heart

Regarding this episode's title:

But there's good news amongst the sadness, mourning Bones fans!

YES THAT IS RYAN CARTWRIGHT (AKA VINCENT)!!!! 
New theory: whatever movie JFD is working on is secretly the Bones version of heaven.

I think we can all agree that if the two of them posted a video together singing 'Da lime in da coconut', we could get some closure, hmmm? That is not remotely a sad song, but it still makes me sad.

Where did that MASSIVE quilt on the wall of B & B's house come from? Booth crying is gonna make me cry more - and then they have to teach Christine about death in the worst possible way. Someone pass the Kleenex.

It kind of annoys me that they have to de-flesh every single set of remains, even those who are 'fresh'. That's not always 100% necessary in real life. Just because it's called 'Bones'. Urgh.

I think I know what they're trying to do with this Aubrey guy... They're trying to distract us with someone newer and shinier (and handsomer) and they think that'll make us forget. BUT IT WILL NOT! 

Look at those eyes, man....

Side note: apparently the actor who plays him, John Boyd, was in Argo, which I have seen multiple times, but I didn't recognize him. And he's not on Twitter (...yet).

Booth finds the car used to kill Sweets which was stolen (of course) and then they go up onto the roof of a building for some reason, and the guy is up there, dead and covered in rats. He was an FBI agent-turned-Navy SEAL that Aubrey knew. I was kind of hoping Booth would get to take the guy down, but Sweets got him after all. Good.

The documents that Sweets got from executing that warrant were stolen by the killer, but he didn't have them. And Booth is now allowed to stay on the case, because that's not at all a conflict of interest. Caroline thinks the FBI director wants Booth to trust him.

I don't understand how Daisy is still so annoyingly matter-of-fact through all this. And this is the second episode, shouldn't we get a different squint?? Even if it's a two-parter?? I want to see someone other than Clark!!

OK now I'm mad, because it turns out Sweets didn't manage to kill the bad guy. Someone else stabbed him and used the bullet wound to hide it. Goddamn, he can't have anything!! That person probably took the document. Which they can't get another warrant for because of some made-up rule that isn't really a thing.

Daisy and Angela find a bunch of notes in Sweet's pocket about various suspects - and then one that says 'Seeley' a bunch of times. Daisy starts crying (only now??!) and says that that was what Sweets wanted to name the baby. And then I start crying, but obviously the baby's gonna be named Lance now. Although 'Lance Seeley' sounds pretty nice together...

Booth and Brennan have an argument because he has a bunch of guns, and Brennan thinks Booth has become not like himself, and too angry, and she doesn't want to be around him, or have her daughter be around him. 

It's the beard! The beard is making him violent!! They must be in the darkest timeline because Sweets is dead!

Then those blue seats make a re-appearance, apparently they're in some back hallway of their house in front of a suitably large window.

Remember this episode? This was a good episode.

OK the next part of the episode is really well-written because I saw it like 50 times in the episode preview and it still made me cry... Daisy asking Brennan for 'one last conversation' and them looking at his old injuries and talking about him as a child, and playing the piano (all I could think of was that goatee from the beginning of Season 6).

Poor Cam! Has to be the grown-up and plan his funeral. I love Cam and she's totally gorgeous, but her hair is in kind of that awkward half-grown-out stage between short and long and it doesn't really look... right.

Aubrey is a history nerd and gets a brain-block and needs to think of something else in order for the word he's looking for to come to him. JUST LIKE ME! But that's pretty annoying when I need to do that.

Handsome agent is handsome. But he's no Sweets!!!

Hodgin's little British car has made a reappearance! And Aubrey asks if he stole it from a British toddler, then later calls it a 'bumper car'. Skeptical Aubrey is starting to sound like Season-2-era skeptical Booth.




GUYS. They've found tapes of JFK talking/flirting with various people. This is so cool (and I'm wondering who they got to do the voiceover).

I'm also really glad they're using Caroline more these days!! She's so sassy and hilarious - and a little flirty with Aubrey haha but who can blame her?

Bones is 'always sure when she speaks' and someone's cells began growing inside of someone else. And I'm still so confused as to what makes all of this a 'conspiracy'. But whatever. They talk to another guy who spouts some patriotic bullshit, which sounds like a confession but is apparently only 'free speech'. Ugh. I hate pretentious people. 'Perhaps you're being unreasonable because you've spent so much time defending your idea of the Constitution.' Screw this guy!

But they found his DNA in the other guy... Booth gives a patriotic lecture and says he's a 'pathetic little man who is gonna die in prison'. And I hate the fact that it's possible to 'blackmail' one's way out of prison. Although I suppose that's how Booth got out, soooo I'm just gonna sit down and shut up.

The bad guy had hidden his files in the J. Edgar Hoover exhibit at the Jeffersonian! Which is kinda silly, it being that close to the team, but oh well!

Now it's funeral time and this is not OK! They had pizza because it was his favourite food and that's even less OK because I eat pizza all the time and now I'm gonna be sad. (But I'm not gonna stop eating pizza). Brennan gave a beautiful speech involving algebra and somehow algebra made me cry. And she admits that she loved Sweets and that's one of the most touching things of all. They cremated him and go to release him, and the Booth interrupts - AND HE SAYS THEY NEED TO SING SWEETS' 'JAM'!!!! SO THEY ALL START SINGING 'DA LIME IN DA COCONUT'!!! And I screamed 'OH MY GOD' and my roommate thought I was insane but it's such a sweet gesture... They need to sing that at my funeral. Because it's a happy song.

 

Sorry for the lousy quality...

So that's all the feels for this week... Was this a decent episode? Are you guys happy to be getting back to the non-conspiracy regular cases? Did you get some closure? Am I the only one who will be sad every time she hears 'Da Lime in Da Coconut'??

Completely unrelated, but here's a bonus photo of our favourite handsome characters (although two of them are now dead, and one has cancer, so that's really rather depressing). It's kind of old, but I just found it randomly, so I felt it needed to be shared. I don't know what Ryan's doing. But John's eyebrow game is very strong, as is Michael Grant Terry (Wendell)'s *smoulder*. I think I might make this my desktop photo for a while.

Big Bang Theory - The Junior Professor Solution

One night, two new episodes of BBT.

If there was a female version of this, that'd be me right now.

According to the plot summary of this episode from the CBS website, Sheldon has to teach a class and Howard takes it. I'm expecting a lot of peanut-gallery comments, since he's always been the quickest with comebacks out of the group. This ought to be good.

Also I should mention that Sheldon is reeeeally reluctant about the teaching job.

Penny is avoiding Bernadette because she's finding her annoying and it's making Amy (and me) uncomfortable because this kind of thing is terribly awkward and kinda mean...

Can we just ban couple-names? Raj + his girlfriend = Kuthrapemily or Emmipali. Bad. Just cringeworthy. And as an Emily, I know my name wouldn't ever pair well with that of any hypothetical future boyfriend I might have. So just let's ban them. For the good of mankind.

Amy is playing a bit of a double-agent because Bernadette is complaining to her about Penny now - I HAVE BEEN THERE AND IT IS TERRIBLE. DON'T FALL INTO THAT TRAP, AMY!

Callback to the episode where Sheldon taught Penny about physics! Fig Newtons are named after a town in Massachusetts, not the scientist. (I knew that!) And Walowitz might get his doctorate, which is good for him, but I will really miss all those 'Howard's the only non-doctor here' jokes.

I always have felt bad for Amy... Her boyfriend couldn't care less about the things going on with her, and now she's 'popular' because she was always so lonely that she's willing to pit her two best friends against each other just so they'll both like her? It's really just kinda sad...

That was brilliant - Howard decided to be a crappy non-paying-attention student because Sheldon was being a crappy teacher and OH GOD HE'S RAPPING. HOWARD IS RAPPING.

But poor Amy, Bernadette and Penny are getting along now so she feels left out.

'Can't talk! Spitball! Probably gonna die!' Totally using that line now whenever someone calls me and I don't want to talk to them.

Howard has got a whole new backbone to him this season, I kinda love it. [Edit: I just managed to put a name on what's happening to him. He's becoming more quippy, and less creepy. Nailed it.]

(Commercial Break) there's a new Nicholas Sparks movie coming out and even though it sounds almost exactly like The Notebook I kinda want to see it because it has JAMES MARSDEN IN IT!! Although he was in the Notebook, and lost the girl... So he doesn't have a great track record. But he's very handsome. So he's got that going for him, which is nice. But I already have an idea of what the poster's gonna look like:

The BBT boys just gave me an idea... to study using a quiz system with chocolate as reward! Why have I never thought of this!

Big Bang Theory - The Locomotion Interruption

The first problem with living in a new house is not knowing which channel is which on the new cable... So I missed the first few minutes of this episode. Tuned in just in time to see pants-less Sheldon whining to people at a train station. Ah, how I've missed him.

To recap last year's season finale:
Sheldon ran away because he didn't know how to handle Leonard and Penny living together, the comic book store is going under so Stuart is now working as a nurse for Howard's mom, and THIS HAPPENED:

Now their babies won't be imaginary at all!!!

I have to say, I hate Penny's hair short. Kaley Cuoco can pull off anything, and she looks gorgeous, but Penny is too childlike and ditzy and the long, curly hair suits her. Maybe this is supposed to go along with her new 'career-woman' persona, but I don't think it works with the character.

Side note: Bernadette's line 'the world is full of things that could cause a rectum to bleed' would make a terrible motivational poster.

In honour of my former Monday-at-8:00 sitcom...

It's a little creepy (to everyone except him) that Stuart is still living with Mrs. Walowitz and kind of becoming her boy toy/replacement for Howard... But at least if they become a couple, we won't have to see them kiss or anything...

On his entire trip, Sheldon never went outside or had a single piece of fruit. Sounds like my idea of a fun weekend...

Fun fact - Howard said Stuart is in his thirties, but Raj thought he was 'like 45' - Kevin Sussman, the actor who plays Stuart, is actually 44.

I'm really glad Amy doesn't just play along with Sheldon's ridiculousness anymore - I've always felt so bad for her! AND HE WANTS TO WHAT - oh nevermind, he was just making sure she couldn't hear him, by pretending he wanted to have coitus with her hahaha I should have seen that coming.

Bernadette is so like me - tiny and nice but can still put the fear of God in someone if they need to get their shit together.

Also, just so you know, NOBODY IS ANYBODY'S FATHER even though Howard and Stuart are both talking down to one another and bossing each other around.

(Commercial break) Holy crap, they're still making Survivor?? Talk about beating a dead horse... Does anyone even watch that anymore???

And Sheldon is with me on the hair thing. Also he's for some reason obsessed with brands of foods.

Big Bang Theory - 'The Contractual Obligation Implementation'

Is it just me or are these episode titles getting unweildy?
The guys are supposed to help women become more interested in science. TADAAHH!! (Enter Emily hahah)

Not this one, either.

Sheldon is all 'no this is stupid' and Leonard is all 'oh really, you want ME to help YOU do stuff, but you won't help anyone with anything?!' Point Leonard. Then Sheldon calls Leonard and Howard 'tools', but in the context of 'I use you to do stuff', not... the other, more insulting one.

Sheldon comes up with the idea of targeting middle-school girls so that they'll be interested in science before they grow up and go to high school or university.
Apparently the girl Raj is dating does have a name - it's Lucy, and he's asking the 3 girls how he should take her on a date, because of her social anxieties. Apparently, you're supposed to bribe people when you ask them for advice - Sheldon gave the girls T-shirts, Raj brought wine and fondue... I need to start asking my freeloading friends to pay up!
Penny keeps accidentally revealing how skanky she is by making 'jokes' - which are based on real events! And then the girls decide to ditch work on Friday to go to Disneyland. Amy is reluctant at first, saying her mother told her that playing hooky gets girls addicted to reefer and jazz music.
The guys go to Howard's old midle-school to test-drive their ideas, and a big scary kid bumps into Howard, but he says nothing - in spite of being an adult and having 'ages' since he was stuffed into a locker.
When the girls are en route to Disneyland, Bernadette suggests they go to the place that does princess makeovers - and then she gets jealous when all the girls decide they want to be Cinderella. Damn, all this talk of amusement parks is making me REALLY want to go to Disney World, or at least Canada's Wonderland...
Raj decides his date is going to be at the library... Since they're awkward. And it's going to be a texting date. Which the audience can hear! How cute!
Leonard tries to be cool and the girls in the audience are REALLY unenthusuastic hahaha - his attempt includes using the word 'whaaaat?' and Sheldon stands up and says "Hello female children. Allow me to inspire you with the story of a famous female scientist - Madam Curie." He then tells the tale of how her own discovery killed her, and says "With a little hard work, I see no reason why that can't happen to any of you." Then he turns around and asks if they can go now hahaha... The girls are super-bored and texting each other. And when Leonard was their age, he wanted to be a rap star - "Like Snoop Dogg, but with a healthy respect for the police." LMAO I could never picture that happening, but I wish he would do some more freestyle!!
Lucy and Raj are having an awesome time, and he blames 'autocorrect' for making him gush about how much he loves prom, instead of trying to say 'I love sports' hahahaha oh Raj...

Say it with me: CUTEST COUPLE IN BBT HISTORY

Leonard is continuing to talk about his childhood and says that the cello sounds like a suicidal bumblebee - then Sheldon interrupts them and says that he's instead going to get ACTUAL 'girls in science' to talk to them - and so he calls Bernie and Amy, who are dressed as Cinderella and Snow White, respectively. Penny is Sleeping Beauty.
Then Lucy's phone battery is dying, so she says she has to go, but would like to try one more thing that scares her and give him a kiss goodnight - but when she leans in, she gets six inches from his face and goes "Panic attack! Maybe next time!" and runs out. Awww
Howard and Leonard love their girls dressed as princesses, but Sheldon keeps ignoring Amy's request for a kiss to wake her up hahaha poor Amy.

THEY'RE SO PRETTY I'M SO JEALOUS!!! Too bad I couldn't find a picture of Penny...