SNL - Jim Carrey

Jim Carrey is one of my favourite funny people. He's Canadian, which is awesome of course, and he cracks me up so much, what with the voices and the faces and the improvisation. Full disclosure -  because he's on the show promoting the new Dumb and Dumber sequel, I decided to watch the original one today (I'd never seen it before).

...What the hell is he wearing??? A red jumpsuit and devil horns... Singing. Bobby's face is creepy. Apparently he's 'Helvis' hahaha I'm so confused.

That's quite the getup, dude.

 The first fauxmercial took me a few seconds to realize it wasn't an actual commercial - Jim does a surprisingly incredible impression of Matthew McConaughey. They parodied that car commercial he does. Although I don't get why he does. And neither does Matthew/Jim, apparently.

 

Also I wanna wish congrats to Leslie Jones, who's officially a new cast member!! Yaay!! This is clearly along the lines of that family reunion sketch that Christopher Walken did back in the day. HE DID 'ALLLLRIGHTY THEN!!!' And Keenan does an AMAZING impression of him - Kyle's isn't bad, either! Vanessa and Beck have the Ace Ventura hair and it's pretty awesome. And THEN JEFF DANIELS SHOWS UP!! And asks him if he 'wants to hear the most annoying sound in the world' which made me laugh so hard because a) I'd just seen the movie today and b) apparently Jim improvised that line in the movie, and knowing that, Jeff's reaction face was hilarious.

It's the real Harry, playing a guy named Lloyd, talking to the real Lloyd. I'm so confused.

Lincoln commercial Part 2 - his kids in the backseat tell him he's only driving 5 miles an hour, and he asks whose kids they are.
I definitely thought the next sketch was going to be one of those 'Merryville Brothers' sketches - the music was the exact same! But I guess they didn't have Bill anymore, so it wouldn't be right. Anyway, it was still pretty funny - all these creepy figures in a cemetery where Sasheer and Pete are hanging out, and two of them are just random dead guys named 'Paul and Phil' (Jim and Taran) and they just keep singing their own names instead of the creepy song, so all the other things get mad at them. Especially Keenan - as a tree.

Paul and Phil! He wants none of your crap, guys.

 Once again, they fooled me with the commercial thinking it was a real one - until Keenan as the Allstate Insurance guy started talking. And then Jim/Matthew drove out of his driveway and ran him over. Whoops. *Lincoln* 

Iggy Azalea...MUTE MUTE MUTE MUTE. Can't stand her. Incredible that they've had 4 episodes and already managed to put on the two musicians that I hate the most right now. If they have Miley or Beiber by Christmas, I'm done.

UPDATE TIME!!! This just in: Ebola is silly, everyone freaks out over it. And Colin is a homebody just like me (teehee). Vanessa is brought on as their new 'romantic comedy expert' and she manages to enact a stereotypical meet-cute rom-com in like 2 minutes with Michael (70 seconds, according to him).
[Side note - is romantic comedy expert a real job? Because I would totally do that. I would be amazing at that job.] Colin's laughing at his own jokes this week and I'm loving it.

DRUNK UNCLE!!! YAAAAY!!!! But I'm so sad he isn't interacting with Colin - NOBODY EVER INTERACTS WITH COLIN!! Nevermind, he's now interacting with Colin, and apparently he likes him better. "More like 'whoreoween'" for once I agree with him a little bit... And he would like to apologize for not being 'a graveyard smash' - with a spot-on voice. And Colin prevents him from being racist. Well done, Colin.

Yeah, little bit.

The next sketch is a 'Secret Billionaire' show where Cecily has to figure out which of 4 guys is actually rich. And Jim is an old guy and it's hilarious. But a little creepy. He's a secret member of the Illuminati (oops).

DAMMIT these fauxmercials are TOO CONVINCING, I keep stopping paying attention. Taran is leading a team of people to check out a haunted house. And Leslie is just like 'nope, there's no such thing as ghosts' and then she's the first one to take off. Aaaand lock herself in the car. To be honest, that'd totally be me in that situation. All the scoffing when it's safe, then as soon as there's a noise, I bust out my not-at-all intimidating karate moves and scream.

I missed the beginning of the next sketch (I was making popcorn, sorry...) but it's a kinda Walking Dead thing where Jim's son Pete is a zombie but he keeps trying to convince the other people that he's not actually - and keeps hitting him with things - I think Pete is gonna start laughing. And then he bites Jim (who else saw that coming?) and he kinda sounds like Scooby Doo when he says 'Brains?'

Pete's dreams are coming true right now. (That bat was totally foam)

The next bit is a costume party where Kate is dressed as the girl from the Sia 'Chandelier' video - and so is Jim - and then they just dance around the whole studio!! Including with Iggy haha and Lorne! Lorne who starts laughing and looks like he doesn't know what to do. Jim is so tall and gangly and I definitely didn't need to see him in a leotard....

Ooh guess what! Commercial for Dumb and Dumber To!! I can't wait, it looks so funny... And how did Jim get the rights to wear a Toronto Maple Leafs jersey when introducing Iggy for the second time?? (MUTE MUTE MUTE). I mean I hate the Leafs (Go Habs Go!) but I like that a red-blooded Canadian represented our national sport - and our national laughingstock at said sport - on an American show.

Cecily and Vanessa playing what they do best - gum-chomping ditzes advertising things. And Jim's the Halloween Store owner who was possessed by a demon. That was relatively short and pointless. But the bumper card right after was him leading a llama through a lobby. And that was pretty awesome. (I'll post it here once they throw them up on their FB page in the next few days.)

LLAMA!!! Reminds me of the MB20 video for 'Real World' where Rob is leading a camel through a bowling alley.

All in all, this was a hilarious episode. I love Jim, and the sketches were better than normal! Happy Halloween everyone, I'll see you next week for Chris Rock and Prince! :)

Happy Halloween!! I can't tell which is the real Jim...

SNL - Melissa McCarthy & Phoenix

We open, naturally, with a sketch about Kim Jong Un. Apparently he's more progressive with same-sex marriage than the USA - which is unrelated to the fact that he wants to bomb them. Aaaaand now he's talking about all the women he's slept with. And now his NCAA pool. And in between everything he says, there are shots of North Korean army people applauding. Holy crap they actually brought out Dennis Rodman!! Who I have been watching on Celebrity Apprentice for several weeks... He's as crazy as you'd expect.
Melissa McCarthy is having some trouble getting down the stairs in some crazy high shoes hahah 'are you sure that intro song wasn't shorter than last time?' And then she takes the saxaphone player's chair. And faceplants on the stage! Well, I must say that's probably a first for the monologues on this show.
Taran pops out in a vest and hat and bowtie because apparently they were supposed to be doing a musical number, but she can't stand up - HOLY CRAP THAT GUY CAN DANCE! He jumped and did a split midair!! And he can sing too!! How come he never gets any musical sketches?! PS it was his Taran's birthday on Monday (April Fool's day, coincidentally... Not surprised!) Happy Birthday Taran!!! Love you!!! :)

And he's engaged to Cobie Smulders from How I Met Your Mother!!! What a hilarious couple!!!

Bill Heder is a super-serious news anchor talking about a basketball coach who is even worse than the violent asshole who was fired from Rutgers University for swearing, hitting, and belittling his team this week. She's Tasering a teacher, insisting that the teams serve her meals.. And threw a toaster at someone. Well that was unpleasant. Parody of The Voice, Melissa squeals out a 'song' that I didn't quite understand.. Bill does a remarkable impersonation of Adam Levine! And everyone loved her kinda-singing but she kinda doesn't understand what any of them want from her. And she decides to go with Cee-Lo, even though he's not a judge this season! Ahahaha...
Next she's a chef who takes the ham bake-off way too seriously, and does a song and dance routine with Taran and Bobby dressed like pigs to try to influence the judges... 

Somehow pricelessly weird. Maybe it's Taran's face. Or the caption.

And then places 7th out of 8, which is good enough for her!
A fauxmercial for something that allows you to have an entire office workstation in the stall of the bathroom - which is a hilarious idea hahaha plus I love things that fit into a tiny space! Except then it's a 'fake' fauxmercial and at the end it says 'don't let it come to this. Stop texting and checking e-mail on the toilet. Nothing's that important. And it's disgusting.' Well said, SNL, well said!!
I have never heard of this band Phoenix. Is that me being out of touch, or SNL being all hipster again? Not sure.
But anyway, speaking of phoenixes (phoeni? I was never sure, that was my highschool mascot and we never knew how to pluralise it), here's the awesome second song off the new Fall Out Boy album - I give you 'The Phoenix'!!!!

AND OH MY GOD IT WOULD BE SO AWESOME IF FALL OUT BOY WENT ON SNL TO CELEBRATE THE END OF THEIR 'HIATUS'!!! *fingers crossed this happens soon*
As for people I love almost as much as Pete Wentz (really close race guys), here's Seth Meyers!! I think I missed a joke somewhere, because Seth made a cute smiley face at the camera and the audience loved it.
Jacob the bar mitzvah boy is back!! So cute!!
I was too busy enjoying Seth's cuteness to remember any of his jokes to quote.. But now we have Charles Barkley on as a guest to talk about the NCAA tournament! And about that one player who broke his leg HORRIBLY (I saw the video, and photos, and it made me - someone who regularly looks at decomposing bodies - feel nauseous) he says 'You know how he broke his leg? He jumped. If you hurt yourself that badly just from jumping, basketball may not be the sport for you'.
OH MY GOD DRUNK UNCLE!!!! He's my third-favourite recurring Weekend Update guest, after That Girl You Wish You Hadn't Started A Conversation With At A Party, and this guy:

STEFON!!!! I can never get enough of him!!!

At one point, Drunk Uncle just looks at his glass and starts singing: 'I wanna know what love is...' Seth interrupts and then 'I want you to show me!!!!' AND THEN OH MY GOD DRUNK UNCLE HAS A BROTHER AND IT'S PETER DINKLEDGE FROM GAME OF THRONES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS PRICELESS!!!!!

"People are all 'Tumble me, Tumble me'" and then they both started singing and I had to bury my face in a pillow to stifle my laughter and not wake up my roommate. Damn you, SNL, for being on so late at night!
The next sketch is a ripoff of Wheel of Fortune and Bill is the awesome host and Melissa is the Vanna White replacement who doesn't know what she's doing and flips over all the letters on the board when she's trying to find the D's because she doesn't know where anything is, but she manages to do it all while flipping back and forth and gesturing and it's just so silly - especially Bill's reactions to everything! Then she flips over everything because she's trying to 'concentrate' and Fred goes 'I'd like to solve the puzzle' and Bill says 'I'd imagine you would' haha and he guesses the wrong quote.. what a dumbass.
Melissa goes into a bank and asks Jason for a loan so that she can start her own business - to eat pizza. She wants to eat people's leftover pizza, as her job, and keeps repeating her full name and trying to hand him a pen to sign a cheque. I am so confused. Somehow I'm both hungry for pizza and really nauseous at the same time. So she leaves (after shoving a slice of old pizza in her mouth) and then Fred walks in with a box of pizza and says he wishes there was a better way to get rid of old pizza instead of just throwing it out - then Jason stares at him and goes 'oh my god' and back in she comes! Takes the pizza and runs out - in slo-motion, no less.
Kate and Cecily are hosting a fake 90s era show about how women should act to impress men at parties. I love it when they let the new girls carry the sketch! These two are golden! And apparently topics that will attract men include sports scores, blazers, travel mugs, and sports rumours. No wonder I don't have a boyfriend! I have definitely never talked to a guy about travel mugs - or done their next tip, which is 'cupping his elbow in both your hands while raising one knee'. What the hell?!
That was a pretty awesome episode - not quite the 'best ever' as Taran tweeted earlier, but pretty damn good nonetheless!!!