SNL - Miley Cyrus

Full disclosure - I kinda hate Miley Cyrus. Like seriously. I find her obnoxious and unnecessary. But she usually does a pretty good job when she's playing a character on SNL.

The one bad thing about SNL is the time it's on - I need to watch it and giggle as quietly as possible so I don't wake up my roommates. Also I've been watching baseball all summer (Blue Jays are the AL East champs babyyyy!!!) and the short commercials have spoiled me for regular TV viewing...

I think Taran has been practicing that Trump impersonation all summer - and he NAILED it! At last, we finally get his honest opinions on women!

Hang on a second, I thought Keenan was leaving the show after last season?! He's still here?? Does that mean we get more Keenan reaction shots?!!

He's more versatile than Jon Stewart!  I need a whole library of these ASAP

The best part of the monologue was that I could mute it and still get the jokes - she was singing a 'goodbye' song to all the news stories/people that wouldn't be relevant beyond this summer (Kim Davis, Pizza Rat, Colin making a cameo as the main guy from the Entourage movie). My personal favourite was a creepy-looking Bobby Moynihan as Jared Fogle, who literally turned around and removed his glasses and became equally-creepy Josh Duggar.
As for Miley herself...

I'm not convinced Miley Cyrus likes weed. #SNL pic.twitter.com/vI9DEAQGdK

— Lisa Vikingstad (@LisaVikingstad) October 4, 2015

Yup.

Remember when I said I could tolerate Miley when she's playing a different character? Well in the first sketch (a Grease ripoff) she's basically playing herself, in a poodle skirt. Nope.
Poor new guy, with her licking his face in literally his first episode, that looked hella awkward. What was that thing she smeared on his face, a cupcake?

REAL HILLARY CLINTON SURPRISE APPEARANCE!! She showed up in a sketch with Kate McKinnon as a depressed Hillary Clinton in a bar mentioning listing off all her shortcomings. Her voice is perfect. And Real Hillary Clinton's impression of Donald Trump might have been better than even Taran's. DARYL HAMMOND SURPRISE APPEARANCE!! As Bill Clinton. This is funny, he's obviously always in the building to do his announcing duties. I'm surprised he doesn't make cameos more often.

Quick side note: I've always liked Hillary Clinton. I think she's a good sport. But she's serious when she needs to be. Obviously VERY smart. Kind of a badass. She actually reminds me a lot of my grandmother (especially the hair haha)

Oh god they made poor Hillary announce Miley... What the hell is on her head?! Even her mic stand has dreads, good grief... She doesn't have a bad voice, but I can't stand her music so I'm muting her anyways. 

ok now I am convinced pic.twitter.com/stgXBEYDJW

— Lisa Vikingstad (@LisaVikingstad) October 4, 2015

Lisa, you read my mind.

UPDAAAAATE!!!!!! Colin being adorable as usual - still has yet to crack a smile. He reminds me of Tulowitzki from the Blue Jays - he barely smiles either, but when he does, it's a thing of beauty.

Awwwww

I like Kyle Mooney, but his Update characters are always weird. Like this one - Pope Francis. Also that accent was massively inaccurate. 

Really? You made Che read the segregation joke?? Based on the audience reaction, they felt as awkward as I did. To even things out, Colin got a racism joke too - and then Che said 'I begged you not to do that' and COLIN LAUGHED but it was off-screen. Boo.

Oh haaai there Pete! As the 'resident young person'. He doesn't understand politics, this bit was actually pretty funny. THERE was a Colin smile! A canned one, but still. I think Pete has gotten more comfortable this year, and I like it. Colin laughed off-screen again. Curses.

I had to go back and add this after I found it. Canned smile, but I'll take it

Well that was interesting timing, just when I was thinking 'wait is Leslie still around??' there she is! And of course she can make Colin laugh, by flirting with him. "I wish I was JOSTbusting!" I love Leslie. She ends the bit by screaming that of course she wants to have sex with him and he's laughing and on the verge of blushing. Gosh he's pretty.

The next sketch was one I rolled my eyes at - such a tired premise 'ooooh millennials are stupid and lazy and entitled blah blah blah'. At least we got some interesting Keenan reactions out of it. People on Twitter are calling it the new Californians and OH DEAR GOD NO DO NOT BESMIRCH MY BELOVED CALIFORNIANS

The next bit is a group of girl friends re-enacting the deli scene from When Harry Met Sally.... I love that movie. They did a pretty good job of re-creating the set, too. I've always said the set/prop/costume people on SNL don't get enough credit. Their attention to detail is awesome. Also Leslie is hilarious. But the background people aren't reacting properly - WHO WOULD NOT BE STARING WHEN SHE'S SCREAMING LIKE THAT?!!! And insert Kate as the 'I'll have what she's having' lady hahaha. Vanessa just wanted to show off her Billy Crystal impersonation, let's be honest.

The next pre-recorded sketch is HILARIOUS, it's Aidy and Vanessa as best friends who are in an accident and then wake up from comas and the whole world is in a sort of post-apocalyptic state, after literally every person on earth has been dragged into Taylor Swift's squad. Very nice.

Apparently Miley tried to get Kyle to marry her hahaha and she keeps offering them extra money. Every time he opened the door to his dressing room, time had passed, until eventually the only way to get out of it was for him to die. Which, I don't really get why he wouldn't wanna marry her but it's OK, I wouldn't want to either. 

SNL - Chris Hemsworth

I was at home this weekend and super confused (i.e. kept forgetting what day of the week it was). So I missed SNL. Oops. But never fear! I'm back!

I really miss Amy Poehler's Hilary Clinton impression. Kate's not bad, but her voice sounds too much like.. her regular voice. And what is this stiff-grabby hand gesture she's making?? I feel like I've seen that before...

I knew it!!

That's the first single-person cold open I've seen in a long time!

I think I know why that third Hemsworth brother isn't famous - he's shorter than the other two.

Apparently Chris found it really hard to become famous - they told him he was too tall, too handsome, too blonde, and his muscles were too big. And if a jacked Australian with a perfect face can make it, anyone can. How inspiring!

That poor man.

Taran and Chris are 'twins' in a fake kids show, and they try to switch places but everyone figures out that they're not the same person, because they look different and Taran is less handsome and they list ALL the differences between them.Including that Chris has blonde arm-hair and Taran's is dark and goes down to his hands... And their butts are differently shaped. Creepy teacher noticing these things about her students is creepy.

THEY'RE TOTALLY THE SAME!!!

They're doing a sketch about the show Empire in which they added Chris as the only white character. And Sasheer keeps hitting people with a broom.

Che cameo!

Now there's a sci-fi sketch on a spaceship in which their captain is a chicken. And Cecily doesn't agree with the chicken's leadership. And Chris is in love with the captain (whose name is Emily!) and he clearly has to improvise what he's saying because she keeps turning away from him. I think it's probably scared by all the audience - and he's lucky it didn't peck at him. And the chicken sacrificed herself to save the ship.. And turned into a roast chicken dinner. Who the hell came up with this sketch?!! It's so random...

A+ chicken acting. If that's even a thing.

Finally, a sketch about how ridiculous Iggy Azalea is - played by Kate McKinnon on her own 'show'. And she keeps having random people on who she's been feuding with, and Chris is her cousin who's teaching her all about hip hop. Jay is TI (one of his less accurate impressions, but still not bad) and keeps placing his headphones randomly on his head.

"If you don't know what to rap, just make a gun sound."
Kate's mannerisms are spot-on.

I have no idea what's happening here.

WEEKEND UPDAAATE!!! Colin's grandma may or may not be racist. Delta charges a 45$ 'cash-survival' fee. Leslie's baaack! As the 'relationship expert'. And flirting with Colin. He made her laugh, but he's just smiling. They're so cute. I ship it. And she's mad because she can't scare anyone anymore. IT'S REALLY COLD OUT!!
And now they're doing that thing where they go back and forth on the same story - an asshole doctor candidate for president said that 'homosexuality is a choice'.
And we finally get a proper Colin smile - when he 'steals' one of Michael's jokes and says that he has a small penis.

This makes me so happy!!! He tries to keep it in but he can't!!!

IT'S THE GIRL YOU WISH YOU HADN'T STARTED A CONVERSATION WITH AT A PARTY!!! She's talking about ISIS and Boko Haram. I think. I love this girl. She's so funny. And I didn't know that you could bring democracy to Syria via Instagram. I vote this is the best Update of this season so far.

Now Bobby's interviewing The Avengers, and Thor is such a party guy - taking selfies, doing the running man, and screaming random noises. And Taran is Iron Man. Pete is a scrawny, homeless-looking Bruce Banner, who may or may not have eaten a guy. Beck makes his first appearance of the night, as Captain America. HE'S NO CHRIS EVANS!!

Derpy Captain America is derpy.

Kate and Chris are in a soap opera/dramatic movie where she's dying, and Taran is their director. Apparently he used to work for The Jeffersons, which he refers to as 'The Jeffers-sons'. So he keeps giving them acting tips which would belong on a ridiculous sitcom. (To their credit, Chris and Kate totally own the sitcom tropes haha)

Big Brother-style fake reality show where Beck and Chris are going to order food, then Kyle wants to get groceries, and Beck freaks out (in one of those to-the-camera asides) and asks him to order food as well. But then Chris comes back and goes 'wait, Brian (Kyle) was not in the living room when I went in the shower.  But now he is? What is going on here?' And suddenly it's like a dating show because he has each of them step forward and confronts them about them changing their mind. Apparently the show is called 'So You Think You Can Live With Brian?' I love this concept. Even if it's the fourth pre-taped sketch we've seen tonight.

They're not pornstars anymore - but they ARE advertising 'Dolgee and Gababba'. And Ceciley's character is supposed to be dead, so shhh...

Chris Hemsworth on a scooter, everybody.

I have no idea when their next episode is, or who's hosting, but I will probably forget about that one too... Oops. Until then, friends!

SNL - Blake Shelton

I don't know a lot about Blake Shelton, other than he's a country singer, a judge on The Voice and has a bromance with Adam Levine.  No idea how he'll do as an actor, but I guess he can't do any worse than Justin Beiber...

Teehee.

The cold open is about that weird football inflation scandal.. I think Taran is channeling his own Ashton Kutcher impression for this Tom Brady impression. And Kate got to scream at someone, Bobby got to scream back at her... Basically, this whole thing being blown out of proportion (I see what I did there).

Yeeeah, nobody thought you were.

Blake referred to himself as the 'Justin Beiber of country music' and oh dear, that's really not a compliment, you know... Oh so now he's going to sing the monologue hahaha. I wonder if he's gonna be able to hide his accent at all in the sketches? Leslie's wearing a blonde wig and wants to be excused.

Parody of The Bachelor with Blake as a country guy from Iowa trying to convince a bunch of girls to marry him and move to Iowa with him. They're basically all clones of each other and don't care about how crappy his hometown is. This is pretty much like what the actual Bachelor is like, I swear. And then Aidy throws a loop in the pattern and starts crying about her dad dying (ten years ago). I'm surprised they didn't have any of the guys dressed in drag for this sketch.

Pictured: Literally any season of The Bachelor. Ever.

Now Blake (in a bad wig), Kate, and Aidy (in a wig reminiscent of one of the Judd sisters) are singing a song about a 'wishing boot' that comes to answer the prayers of people... this is so weird... The song almost sounds like a commercial. For food. (PS Seth Meyers tweeted that he loved this sketch. So who am I to question the master?)

(Commercial break) What the heck, they made another Spongebob movie? This one kinda/sorta live action?? But... why?!

FAMILY FEUD!!! I love Keenan's impression of Steve Harvey!! And everyone else's impressions of other people!! Really, Blake's playing himself? They couldn't pretend he was some other country singer? Taran's impression of Adam Levine is awesome. I forgot Keith Urban (Kate) was Australian... Sasheer's pretty funny as Nicki Minaj! Beck looks nothing like Harry Connick Jr. (Or Michael Buble, for that matter). And I love Kyle, but his Steven Tyler could use some work. Although A+ job by the costume department on him!! Very accurate!! And apparently Adam and Blake just want to make out (off-camera, of course).

He DID steal it from Smokey the Bear!! I knew it!!

I've never liked country music. A lot of people at my university do, and for some reason there are a disproportionate number of country bars in my hometown, but it has 100% never been my thing. Other than a little Martina McBride and Shania Twain when I was really small. But that was more pop than country...

UPDAAATE!!! Everyone's so excited about the State of the Union - especially him LITERALLY BURNING JOHN BOEHNER WHICH WAS AN AWESOME JOKE!!! More football jokes... And all I could think of is this:

Bobby plays Riblet, Michael's friend from childhood, mocking his job, who apparently has been reading 'since he was 15'. So he does a bunch of the jokes. Is this Bobby auditioning to take over Update? As long as he doesn't take Jost's job, I'm cool.
Colin too deadpannly said that joke about his dad never hugging him... AND THEN HE SMILED AND NODDED VIGOROUSLY AFTER ONE OF MICHAEL'S JOKES!! I'LL TAKE IT!

Pete is apparently afraid he might be gay, he wrote this piece just to convince his girlfriend that he isn't - and says Colin's a straight 8, and a gay 10. I think he's more of a straight 9... And I can't speak for gay people. But his reaction to the audience screaming over him was adorable. And Michael thinks Colin look stupid in instant reply, but I DISAGREE!!

Michael's ex-girlfriend (Sasheer) is reporting for them and they just keep arguing - Colin doesn't want to be dragged into this, so he wheels offscreen - NO COLIN SWEETIE COME BACK WE WANNA SEE YOU! Turns out this girl is dating someone new - AND IT'S RIBLET!! Hahahah

Good job Riblet. I hope we see more of this guy.

 (Commercial break) OK can we seriously stop putting covers of famous songs into commercials?!! It's driving me nuts! Don't get me wrong, I love peanut butter, but I don't need to associate Elton John's 'Your Song' with those Kraft teddy bears!!!! Grrr...

I don't really see the point of this next sketch, Cecily, Bobby and Blake on a parole board, emphatically refusing parole to Keenan, who is a prisoner who ate people and is deluded into thinking they're all still 'on the fence' about their decision. And apparently he'd eat his younger self if he could. I have to say, I can't decide which was funnier, Keenan's casual obliviousness or the other three being so damn emphatic.

I'm a little uncomfortable about the next one, Taran as an old man who wrote a song (sung by Blake) about his dead wife which was all sweet and then turned really unpleasant.. And I'm just wondering why they don't have any more recent photos of the wife?? Those were all 50s-era sepia shots. But the makeup team did an awesome job making Taran look old.

This is actually an unusual amount of in-sketch singing they've gotten Blake to do. Maybe they had as much faith in his acting abilities as I did. But he's done pretty well!

Last sketch of the night, Taran as a magician, who Blake keeps heckling from the audience. He wants Taran to use his powers to make him rich. And know what women are thinking. And he wants to be a black guy. Or have Wolverine claws. Or guns for hands. Or chicken nuggets with ranch. Or the power to go down on himself (hey, didn't you know, all you need for that is to remove two sets of ribs, just ask Marilyn Manson... Right?)

The end!! J.K. Simmons, a.k.a. the greatest male parental figure in Juno (I know he's been in other things, but I love that movie and I love him in it, so shhh...) is hosting next week, with a musical guest I've never heard of. So... yay! See you then!

SNL - Kevin Hart

This is really late in going up so I'm just gonna be brief..

The opening sketch with Pete writing a report on Martin Luther King, Jr. and Keenan (as MLK) talking to him about the state of the world today. And yes, Selma should have been nominated for more Oscars. Total bullcrap. That sketch made a lot of good points! And I think Pete might have gotten his first 'Live from New York' intro! Yaay for him!

Kevin Hart is afraid of a ton of wild animals eating his dog - where does he live, Australia?? And a raccoon tried to break into his house.

I have heard so much about this next part - Kate's parody of Justin Bieber's Calvin Klein commercial. She really looks short! And douchey! Excellent impersonation!

I see no difference.

Kevin hosting a talk show about why people post various things on Instagram - and he yells at them. Then sends them into 'the wall'. And I think they had a minor glitch there because the couch actually ran into the wall first before it went through the hole. I hate it when people post pictures of their injuries online. It's gross. And you could not possibly avoid seeing it!

Kevin and Jay and Keenan taking the subversion of expectation thing to the extreme - acting like tough guys and then throwing in left turns all over the place - like his 'bitches' being the dogs he walks, and going to Martha's - which is an artesinal mayonnaise place. But then Kevin shot a dude. So that's unpleasant.  But I see what they did there - they subverted the expectation once you caught on to their subversion of expectations. Mind games.

Not pictured: Kevin's 10 bitches.

Kevin as James Brown, asking each individual member of his band if they want to get more funky. And they're all pretty non-committal about it. And now they need to figure out who's going to bring out the capes. Cos Samantha won't. This bit is so goofy I actually love it. Everyone wants chicken parm (with mustard?)

 Beck looks like my uncle.

Aidy is hosting a talk show with a reunion of the cast of a really old soap opera. Why did they need a couch that big for two people. Vanessa's character's entrance music sounds all fartsy and she keeps complaining about it and everyone else doesn't notice that there's anything different about it.. And the sound director (Kevin) speaks English but doesn't understand it. Which makes no sense.

MORE BEIBER UNDERPANTS AD!!! He (well, she) looks like a giant baby in the underpants and tanktop. And that poor model (Ceily) hahaha

Airplane!!!

OK Sia, I love your voice, but why are you wearing a mini tutu over your face? All I want to see now is the sketch Jim Carrey did when he hosted hahah with the Sia dancer-costume and they ran all over the studio. Remember that? That was pretty great.

UPDAAATE!! I've missed my boy Colin... And he did a Jersey accent and it was not great, but adorable. He brings out a woman from his building (Kate) to talk about how to get along with your neighbours. Pretty cute.

There's a smile!! I see a Jost smile!! All is right again

Colin also does his impersonation of a stoned guy. Not bad. Some pretty decent jokes this week. Not nearly enough that made Colin crack up, though.

The next bit was really dramatic singing Medieval people (Keenan, Sasheer, Cecily, Taran) singing about needing to leave their homeland/castle and move on because their homeland is too dangerous. While Kevin walks between them asking sensible things like 'whose shirt is this?' and reminding them that they don't have time to keep singing, they need to leave.

Kevin is not impressed with your vocalizing, Taran. (But I am)

 This is hilarious!! Especially because he's so short and he's just running around all ineffective and jumped onto Taran because a dragon scared him. And then as a plot twist, Leslie makes her first appearance of the week as Kevin's wife and sings some more (but convinces them to leave) and tells Kevin that if he left without her, she'd kick his ass.

HE'S SO TINY!!!

Leslie shows up again in the next bit, and tells Kevin (as himself) that she slept with him several years ago and had a kid with him - Jay, bringing his best impersonation game - and Kevin is telling her that clearly he couldn't be his son because 'he's 6 foot 2' (Actually he's 6 foot 1) and that's bullshit because Leslie is so tall that the height could come from her side... BUT THEY WERE SO ACCURATE WITH THE SAME MANNERISMS I WILL SET ASIDE THE CRAPPY GENETIC LOGIC!!

I'm not sure if the mime going along with Sia's next song is actually doing proper sign language... But if he is, that's pretty cool. And god, her voice is remarkable.

Kevin showing off his new rap album to his friends - turns out it's about all their secrets. And he keeps yelling 'pew pew pew bap bap gunshot sounds' He has so much energy jumping around, I'm loving this!

Alright, that's it for this episode, Blake Shelton is next week! (And by next week, I mean tomorrow night... Ooops)

Saturday Night Live - Woody Harrelson

My apologies for this being a late post, I had a lot of school-related stuff in the last few days, and next week's SNL post will likely be late as well, since I'm going home to visit my family this weekend and probably won't be watching. Hope it was worth the wait!!

The cold open following the US election is a political one, no surprise there.. Jon Stewart does a much better Mitch McConnell impression than Taran. And then drunk McConnell and Obama decide to prank-call Hillary Clinton. And scream when she calls back. The only thing they agree on is doing the opening.

Taran, you gotta do the face.

Take notes.

For some reason, Darrell's announcing has gotten all quiet again. Can barely hear him over the music. SPEAK UP, MAN!! (I'm aware it's probably a technically issue and not his fault).

Apparently Woody last hosted in 1989 - back in his Cheers days. Man, he was adorable when he was younger on Cheers. He decided to sing about the year 1989 in honour of Taylor Swift's new album. But he doesn't remember those years (because of all the drugs). OK the internet totally spoiled this for me, the Hunger Games showing up, but if I was actually watching, I would have been so excited because I love 2 of them and I'm indifferent toward the third. I'll let you guess who that one is. (Nevermind, I'll tell you. It's Hemsworth.) I'm reminded that Hutcherson is my age. And Woody thinks Jennifer is Taylor Swift. Jennifer can't talk and then they all dissolve into giggles. That's actually kind of adorable.

Oh hey, Hemsworth is the only one who hasn't hosted yet. Innnnteresting.

Fauxmercial for a sitcom that keeps getting changed because of people complaining on Twitter. If they actually did that, it'd be so confusing... They've changed the actors like 3 times. Including one of the actresses from OitNB. And Woody and Keenan are making out.

Next sketch is a fake dating show where Ceciley is a girl who is trying to pick between three disgustingly inappropriate guys (Kyle, Beck, and Taran) and it's grossly obnoxious - BUT THEN there's a plot twist because Woody's the host and he reveals she's his daughter. And then they become really respectful and polite. "On our date, I would start by making sure she's fully clothed." "I would take her to a war memorial, because it's important to respect our war heroes." This is freaking hilarious. Woody goes 'backstage' and gives them a moment alone, so they go back to being assholes. Then he returns and announces they're going to watch that footage after this commercial break. That was hilarious. A+ sketch. I loved watching Taran get all squirmy.

Stoners in NYC, beginning with Pete, start getting excited that you can have pot in public (but not smoke it) and one of their means of celebration is waving around a Funyuns flag.

Pictured: Woody Harrelson during his college years.

Football players at a highschool are being taught about the new rules about tackling (to protect against brain damage) and Keenan comes in as an old player who keeps repeating fragments of the same sentences. THIS COULD BE YOUR FUTURE!! BECAUSE THIS HERE IS REAL! Oops. Wrong sketch.


They used another real song - one of Lady Gaga and Tony Bennett's duets - to introduce a fauxmercial for a 'young tarts and old farts' CD, kind of in the same vein as that awesome Michael Buble Christmas duet album they did a few years ago.
This just in: KEENAN DOES AN EXCELLENT LIONEL RICHIE IMPERSONATION!! I'm astonished. AND A B.B. KING ONE TOO!!! WOW!!! How have they never used his musical talents before?? Sam Smith doesn't know how to be happy. It's kind of funny that they're making fun of all their former musical guests - including Miley Cyrus (I'm reminded of why I love Vanessa Bayer) who is the 'old person' in a duet with Lorde hahaha.

One of the best things about watching online (aside from no commercials, and rewinding to catch any jokes you missed because you were laughing too hard) is you can skip through the musical guest if you want. But I caught a few seconds and it kind of looked like Kendrick was having a seizure right there on the stage... Someone should turn off the strobe lights and make sure he gets medical attention.

WEEKEND UPDATE!!! Michael has no comment on any of the actually IMPORTANT news, because of Kim Kardashian's ass. But Colin has his priorities in order, taking about the new Healthcare.gov website - "But no one could do that, because someone broke the Internet!" HE SMILED DELIVERING THAT LINE!

Couldn't find a picture of the full smile. We'll settle for the half-smile.

Leslie's back, and she told Colin to look at her breasts and he started laughing again. He's so cute... She then says women have to let men inside them - inside their hearts, their houses, and their Netflix accounts!! That's pretty brave! She also calls Colin a 'tall glass of almond milk'. They have a fascinating dynamic.

Taran does an incredible Matthew McConaughey impression. Even though he looks nothing like him. Woody just looks amused. And at one point, he did the music from Super Mario Brothers and I guess you have to be on drugs to understand his thinking..

But I'm totally down with calling Colin 'CoJo'.

Dudes at a bar (looks a little like Cheers...) talking about the classic NYC food they miss the most - and Woody misses crack. This dude needs to get in touch with Rob Ford.

Woody pulls a song about apples out of nowhere at a campfire and he insists everyone else knows the song but they don't. He 'tosses' his guitar into the lake, but it was his 'only possession'! And they say they actually know the song. Then he gets all sulky because he threw the guitar into the lake - but you did that! And dude, you could totally just go get it.. I'm sure guitars float, right?

Oh look, they're in a different bar! With a different set! This is not at all a Cheers thing, is it?? And oh lord, it's that sketch where Kate and the male host are the last 2 people left at a bar and they start hooking up and they're really weird. And Keenan's the bartender and he gets increasingly disgusted.
'I noticed you because you're so breathing'.
"Are you feeling what I'm feeling?"
"If that's an impulse to retch, then yes, but I'm willing to ignore it." Ok that line was pretty gold.
Alright, now they're making out through cling wrap... And Keenan's just reading the Bible...

This is so much better. This is adorable.

Leslie did not want to let go of Liam Hemsworth during the goodbye hahaha.. And Jennifer kept talking to... someone, I have no idea who. But that was adorable.

Overall there was a lot of great material this episode. It's kind of awkward that Harrelson only really got to play one type of dude.. And the sketches at the end (post-Update) weren't great. But that's why they put them at the end!

SNL - Chris Rock

Apparently Chris Christie (Bobby) thinks of himself as a Kevin James-type. And apparently he's 'everywhere' *Cue shot of Emily looking behind the couch for him*

The first time I ever heard of Chris Rock was when he was in Madagascar... So every time I hear his voice, I see a zebra in my mind.

AFRO CIRCUS AFRO CIRCUS!!

Making Boston Marathon jokes, dude? Really? Who approved this monologue, exactly? (Also, the audience seems pretty uncomfortable too). And Twitter agrees.

Sasheer (a.k.a. Janelle) is making a dance tutorial video and Kyle is her adorably in-love-with-her friend... But she doesn't consider him a boy. Poor kid. This '15-year-old' is taller than her dad (Chris). And I think he was standing in the way because when Jay (her brother) came in the door you couldn't see him.. I've said this before, but Kyle playing a young kid is always adorable.

Fauxmercial for the GoPro... colonoscopy edition? Kyle, Beck and Taran are a bunch of 40+ extreme athletes talking about getting colonoscopies. It's so weird.

Technology has come a long way.

 Woody Harrelson is hosting in 2 weeks! I have a theory that he's just Matthew McConaughey from the future who invented a time machine and sent himself back in time. Also, I've been watching Cheers lately, so that's a nice coincidence.

Since the host is a black guy, they're doing that talk-show sketch where Keenan interviews black people on how they think Obama is doing. Also why do white people like kissing their dogs on the lips??? And they're still talking about that dude who ran into the White House. I'm glad, because that was just ridiculous.

To be perfectly honest, I don't like Price that much just on principle - he's always been such an ass to Weird Al Yankovic, and I mean COME ON IT'S WEIRD AL!!! You can't hate Al!!  Also I think he (Prince) tries too hard to be 'different'. Changing his name to that symbol thing... Why are you wearing three-lens sunglasses, dude?? You do not have another eye on your forehead!!
Weird Al totally gets him back though.. About halfway through this awesome song: 

SNL is giving Prince a longer-than-normal chunk of time to perform. So I'm taking this opportunity to mute the TV and listen to some Weird Al. Priorities.

Side note: remember that guy Hozier who was the musical guest when Bill Hader hosted? I'm still obsessed with that song he performed. It's called 'Take Me To Church'. So thanks for that one, SNL!

UPDATE!! Michael really likes the new Pope and so do I! But for different reasons.
Pete is back! As the 'resident young person'! Aaaaand... talking about his dick. Sending pictures of said dick to his mother. Oh good grief. She must be so proud. And then he mentioned his dad coming back, as a joke... Who died in 9/11... That's just awkward. Especially considering the 9/11 jokes in the monologue. What the hell is up with this??
Michael flubbed a joke, but then recovered very well!

Also he apparently only voted for Mayor Bill DeBlasio because he liked his son's afro. That's good a reason as any!

Jay Pharaoh is wonderful at everything he does. How has that man not been nominated for an Emmy by now??

I didn't know who Katt Williams was when I first saw this impression, but now I do and it's spot-on.

The Shark Tank sketch is back and... Good greif! They're asking for money for ISIS, what the hell? And Chris Rock has roped my boy Kyle into this offensive crap, too! WHY?! (Although they did point out that the whole ISIS/ISIL thing is confusing). But then they turned them over to the Secret Service, so... I guess it's all ok now?

Apparently, realizing you like Taylor Swift is the leading cause of vertigo in adults. She even got Leslie!! This is very dangerous!! (But luckily, there's now a pill for that).

Beck as a doctor reminds me of Chris Parnell as Dr. Spaceman from 30 Rock.

I'm so confused by this next sketch, it's basically Chris and Leslie as a married couple getting ready to go out (and being driven by Uber) and fighting a whole bunch... Apparently Sasheer is their daughter. And at one point, I think there was a mix-up with the cue cards cos Leslie just walked away and then came back for no reason, stared off to the side for a minute looking confused and then there was shuffling and then they resumed. Awkward.

The next bit is a pre-taped bank robbery scene that's really intense and totally looks like something out of Criminal Minds or something. Kyle has a man-bun! But the robbers (Kyle, Bobby, and Beck) are all super considerate of everyone and this is actually hilarious. Their dramatic acting is totally convincing and intimidating and then they flip around to being super-nice and that sketch was A-plus. Well done.

Cecily and Kate now acting as women from the eighties teaching an instructional video on dealing with diversity in the workplace. I've definitely never heard the phrase 'diverse person' before. Cecily's voice is hilarious. BTW, apparently the solution is to 'out-diverse' people. Cos that's a thing.

Well that's it for this week! Best part - no second Prince performance! I'm kidding - the best part was definitely that bank robber sketch. For those of you who missed the Bill Hader/Hozier episode, it's on as a rerun next week! WATCH IT! It was great!!

SNL - Melissa McCarthy & Phoenix

We open, naturally, with a sketch about Kim Jong Un. Apparently he's more progressive with same-sex marriage than the USA - which is unrelated to the fact that he wants to bomb them. Aaaaand now he's talking about all the women he's slept with. And now his NCAA pool. And in between everything he says, there are shots of North Korean army people applauding. Holy crap they actually brought out Dennis Rodman!! Who I have been watching on Celebrity Apprentice for several weeks... He's as crazy as you'd expect.
Melissa McCarthy is having some trouble getting down the stairs in some crazy high shoes hahah 'are you sure that intro song wasn't shorter than last time?' And then she takes the saxaphone player's chair. And faceplants on the stage! Well, I must say that's probably a first for the monologues on this show.
Taran pops out in a vest and hat and bowtie because apparently they were supposed to be doing a musical number, but she can't stand up - HOLY CRAP THAT GUY CAN DANCE! He jumped and did a split midair!! And he can sing too!! How come he never gets any musical sketches?! PS it was his Taran's birthday on Monday (April Fool's day, coincidentally... Not surprised!) Happy Birthday Taran!!! Love you!!! :)

And he's engaged to Cobie Smulders from How I Met Your Mother!!! What a hilarious couple!!!

Bill Heder is a super-serious news anchor talking about a basketball coach who is even worse than the violent asshole who was fired from Rutgers University for swearing, hitting, and belittling his team this week. She's Tasering a teacher, insisting that the teams serve her meals.. And threw a toaster at someone. Well that was unpleasant. Parody of The Voice, Melissa squeals out a 'song' that I didn't quite understand.. Bill does a remarkable impersonation of Adam Levine! And everyone loved her kinda-singing but she kinda doesn't understand what any of them want from her. And she decides to go with Cee-Lo, even though he's not a judge this season! Ahahaha...
Next she's a chef who takes the ham bake-off way too seriously, and does a song and dance routine with Taran and Bobby dressed like pigs to try to influence the judges... 

Somehow pricelessly weird. Maybe it's Taran's face. Or the caption.

And then places 7th out of 8, which is good enough for her!
A fauxmercial for something that allows you to have an entire office workstation in the stall of the bathroom - which is a hilarious idea hahaha plus I love things that fit into a tiny space! Except then it's a 'fake' fauxmercial and at the end it says 'don't let it come to this. Stop texting and checking e-mail on the toilet. Nothing's that important. And it's disgusting.' Well said, SNL, well said!!
I have never heard of this band Phoenix. Is that me being out of touch, or SNL being all hipster again? Not sure.
But anyway, speaking of phoenixes (phoeni? I was never sure, that was my highschool mascot and we never knew how to pluralise it), here's the awesome second song off the new Fall Out Boy album - I give you 'The Phoenix'!!!!

AND OH MY GOD IT WOULD BE SO AWESOME IF FALL OUT BOY WENT ON SNL TO CELEBRATE THE END OF THEIR 'HIATUS'!!! *fingers crossed this happens soon*
As for people I love almost as much as Pete Wentz (really close race guys), here's Seth Meyers!! I think I missed a joke somewhere, because Seth made a cute smiley face at the camera and the audience loved it.
Jacob the bar mitzvah boy is back!! So cute!!
I was too busy enjoying Seth's cuteness to remember any of his jokes to quote.. But now we have Charles Barkley on as a guest to talk about the NCAA tournament! And about that one player who broke his leg HORRIBLY (I saw the video, and photos, and it made me - someone who regularly looks at decomposing bodies - feel nauseous) he says 'You know how he broke his leg? He jumped. If you hurt yourself that badly just from jumping, basketball may not be the sport for you'.
OH MY GOD DRUNK UNCLE!!!! He's my third-favourite recurring Weekend Update guest, after That Girl You Wish You Hadn't Started A Conversation With At A Party, and this guy:

STEFON!!!! I can never get enough of him!!!

At one point, Drunk Uncle just looks at his glass and starts singing: 'I wanna know what love is...' Seth interrupts and then 'I want you to show me!!!!' AND THEN OH MY GOD DRUNK UNCLE HAS A BROTHER AND IT'S PETER DINKLEDGE FROM GAME OF THRONES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS PRICELESS!!!!!

"People are all 'Tumble me, Tumble me'" and then they both started singing and I had to bury my face in a pillow to stifle my laughter and not wake up my roommate. Damn you, SNL, for being on so late at night!
The next sketch is a ripoff of Wheel of Fortune and Bill is the awesome host and Melissa is the Vanna White replacement who doesn't know what she's doing and flips over all the letters on the board when she's trying to find the D's because she doesn't know where anything is, but she manages to do it all while flipping back and forth and gesturing and it's just so silly - especially Bill's reactions to everything! Then she flips over everything because she's trying to 'concentrate' and Fred goes 'I'd like to solve the puzzle' and Bill says 'I'd imagine you would' haha and he guesses the wrong quote.. what a dumbass.
Melissa goes into a bank and asks Jason for a loan so that she can start her own business - to eat pizza. She wants to eat people's leftover pizza, as her job, and keeps repeating her full name and trying to hand him a pen to sign a cheque. I am so confused. Somehow I'm both hungry for pizza and really nauseous at the same time. So she leaves (after shoving a slice of old pizza in her mouth) and then Fred walks in with a box of pizza and says he wishes there was a better way to get rid of old pizza instead of just throwing it out - then Jason stares at him and goes 'oh my god' and back in she comes! Takes the pizza and runs out - in slo-motion, no less.
Kate and Cecily are hosting a fake 90s era show about how women should act to impress men at parties. I love it when they let the new girls carry the sketch! These two are golden! And apparently topics that will attract men include sports scores, blazers, travel mugs, and sports rumours. No wonder I don't have a boyfriend! I have definitely never talked to a guy about travel mugs - or done their next tip, which is 'cupping his elbow in both your hands while raising one knee'. What the hell?!
That was a pretty awesome episode - not quite the 'best ever' as Taran tweeted earlier, but pretty damn good nonetheless!!!