SNL - Elizabeth Banks

This opening was great. Offering hope and solidarity with the people of France after terrorist attacks. A note of sensitivity that SNL sometimes misses. I also didn't know Cecily spoke French, and I'm very proud of her for her delivery, I could tell it was rough and at a few points she seemed on the verge of tears. But she did an excellent job.

Full disclosure - I missed this episode and I was disappointed about that (I love Elizabeth Banks) because my roommate decided I needed to go out with her and socialize. Can't really argue with her on that one.

Elizabeth Banks starts the show wearing a ball gown. God this woman is wonderful. And singing 'Flashdance (what a feeling)'?! She's my spirit animal.

Let's just say the first fauxmercial was creepy.

Black Jeopardy! These ones are always super awkward lol Elizabeth makes a good clueless college-age hippie girl lol. Of course the correct answer is that Tupac is still alive!

It's kind of hilarious when they make the girls into a little 90s-type girl group - Vanessa used to have a crush on the Menendez brothers? That's messed up, girl... THOSE WHITE OUTFITS THOUGH!!! And I don't blame Cecily for liking TRL-era Carson Daly. He's a cutie.

He looks like he just wandered onto the set and they gave him a mic

LMAO OH GOD THOSE HIGH-SCHOOL WEIRD DRAMA KID PEOPLE. There were definitely kids like that at my high school. They weren't performance artists though, they were visual art students. Just as obnoxious, but a little easier to ignore.
"It says the proceeds from tonight's show go to Neil Patrick Harris... He doesn't need that!"
And plot twist: Aidy says her mom's dead, and Vanessa's in the audience and is actually her mom...

UPDAAAAAAATE!!!! Now they're allowed to make fun of Trump! YAAAY!!! 'Jeb Hitler' actually made me laugh out loud and I got shushed by my dad. Oops.
BTW the Starbucks cup controversy is so much horseshit. This is all I have to say on the matter:
1) The fact that they're red already acknowledges the holiday season. They could have just been left white!

Such religion. So Christ-ly. 

2) THERE ARE MUCH MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO CARE ABOUT IN THE WORLD, GET YOUR HEADS OUT OF YOUR OWN ASSES!!!!
Pete has some good points about the whole stupid 'Transgender people are only transgender so they can watch women pee' argument. Well done, Pete. (And he broke slightly hahaha 'Cecily has a beautiful singing voice... That was my favourite line')
Ughh... I love Kyle but I hate his character Bruce Chandling. The whole schtick is that he's a 'comedian' who isn't funny... But the bit itself isn't funny... So it's just uncomfortable. WHY DO THEY KEEP DOING THIS?!!
Caffeinated peanut butter is a thing?! This is what I need for breakfast... Although maybe not after what Michael said about it. Ew. Apparently a 3-piece bikini in Russia is a shirt, pants, and a big heavy coat! That sounds like a Canadian 3-piece bikini. (It started snowing today. Ugh).

OMG yes a sketch about the stupid stories Ben Carson tells, trying to seem like he used to be all tough. Jay Pharoah's impressions are perfect. I love him so much. Belts can stop all the weapons! Why don't people wear belts all over? For safety!

Bobby as an awkward extra in a TV show... his character is accused of being a pervert, and speaking of 'extras', the new SNL cast member makes his first and only appearance all episode as the guy who closes the clapboard. Who are you and where have you been all week?! And he's like 'wait people are gonna think I'm actually a pervert?!' Seems like that episode of Drake & Josh where Josh plays a criminal in a re-enactment and everyone thinks he's the real criminal.

Woah woah woah, just take it easy, man! 

Wait, is Mike O'Brien still doing things? I thought he left? He cast himself as the worst Uber driver ever. Why the hell would she even get out of the car with him? Aww now they're friends and I'm so confused. Girl, you coulda just walked to your destination. Aaaand now they're getting rid of a dead body together. And taking his wife to the hospital. Weird. 

The next sketch is the best little sketch about perspective and first-world problems. Like "OMG I had to eat my sushi with a fork cos the delivery guy forgot to bring me chopsticks." Elizabeth taking two Ubers in one episode? Does she drive herself anywhere?! But at least they agreed to stop saying 'ghetto' forever. Yaaaay progress!! 

And she said 'God Bless Paris' during the goodbye. What a sweetheart. Love you Elizabeth Banks! Never change!! (And hopefully come back and host SNL over and over and over and over again!!)

SNL - Donald Trump

I have a lot of feelings about this. Most of them are rage. I hate Donald Trump so much. He's racist, sexist, homophobic, classist- just about every 'ist' there is. It was mildly entertaining when he was on the Celebrity Apprentice and didn't actually have any power over anyone. It pisses me off so much that this show would give him a platform just for the sake of their ratings. Ironically, many of his supporters wouldn't even watch it because it's 'liberal swill'. Everyone else (like me, admittedly) is watching solely hoping it will be a train wreck.

I considered boycotting it and watching online, but then I realized that I live in Canada so my viewing doesn't count for NBC's ratings anyways.

But I still maintain that this episode should have aired last week, on Halloween - because the possibility of President Trump is scarier than any horror movie.

Larry David is back! I thought that was actually Bernie for a second.

Darryl Hammond does a better imitation of Trump than Trump does. 

"Trump's a racist!" Larry David is just saying what we're all thinking.

Here's a cameo from Ivanka Trump that nobody asked for, and nobody applauded. Awkward. I actually don't hate her, she seems much nicer and more intelligent than her dad. Unfortunately, she still has his last name and is only famous because of him.

The girls are rapping again, now a parody of M.I.A.'s 'Bad Girls' in which they demonstrate ways they're rebelling in everyday situations. But my favourite is when they said "Our waitress was terrible, it's time to leave a tip... Of 20% because being a server is hard and we don't know what's going on in her day."

The next bit was kind of original, Trump 'live tweeting' on screen the cast members in a sketch (Kate, Cecily, Keenan, Vanessa and Taran) while they try not to react to it.

I knew they were going to do a Hotline Bling sketch!! I knew it! It was great! Jay is the best impressionist they have on the cast right now, love that dude. And a Martin Short cameo!! Love it!!

Sometimes you just gotta do the Ed Grimley. #SNL https://t.co/CqxOk5LcuK

— Saturday Night Live (@nbcsnl) November 8, 2015

#SNL 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 sneaky 🐠🐠🐠🐠🐠

— Jose Bautista (@JoeyBats19) November 8, 2015

Jose Bautista approves of the name of one of those dance moves in the video. I'm guessing he feels differently about Trump, however.

Commercial break - I love that commercial with Mary J Blige, Taraji P Henson, and Kerry Washington talking about mix tapes. They look like they'd be so much fun to hang out with!

I was kinda hoping that Kristen Wiig would be dancing with Sia. No such luck.

UPDAAAATE TIME!!! C'mon boys, please restore my faith in your show...
Of course they're taking aim at Ben Carson this week, that's just too easy. But Che did manage to throw some scripted shade at Trump. Good.

LESLIE!!! Called Colin a 'tall glass of egg whites' hahaha. I like that they at least acknowledged the protesters outside... Che manages to bring up more stupid Trump shit. Drunk Uncle is a fan of Trump, which is not news to anyone. Did you know that Drunk Uncle has the power to break a glass in his fist, reach offscreen and just summon another one?

I'm reminded of a little anecdote - my grandma and I were discussing american politics once, and she said to me "I was telling your grandfather the other day, and now I shouldn't use this language, but Trump is the personification of the word 'asshole'." Needless to say, I laughed for about five minutes. But I can't think of a better way to sum him up.

The next bit is kinda funny considering that one Democratic candidate who kept griping about not getting enough time - it's Trump playing 'the laser harp' in a crappy little band and complaining that no one is letting him do a long enough solo because all the other performers keep going really long ones.

Pete Davidson makes his first appearance in this episode - in a sketch where he's Aidy's boyfriend and Beck Bennett is her father, who keeps playing various songs that he himself is singing. And then he gets all angsty and offended when he thinks everyone hates them.

Apparently the band on the show the last time Trump hosted was called 'Toots and the Maytals'. I hope that was planned just to get Trump to say 'Toots' a dozen times. They're a real group. Kinda seem like something Jimmy Fallon would have on his 'Do not Play' list. And this is how you'd dance for it:

The two girls who aren't pornstars anymore are now doing ads for Donald Trump (Tramp?) 

Well. Thank god that's over. At least he was barely in any of the sketches. More like cameos. 

SNL - Tracey Morgan

The show was hella late starting this week, I was so confused when I couldn't find it. I get that it's live, but I've never had that happen before.

They're starting with the CNN Democratic debate, which surprises no one.
SURPRISE ALEC BALDWIN!
SURPRISE LARRY DAVID!
This is off to an epic start.

Larry David's impersonation of Bernie Sanders is on point. Although Bernie Sanders seems like a walking Larry David impersonation. 

Alec Baldwin is amazing. 

Tracey's back! 

AND OH MY GOD SURPRISE ENTIRE CAST OF 30 ROCK!!! Pretending to be an old episode hahaha 'Remember, this is 2012'. That was so cute. I'm glad he's healthy again. 

Yessss Family Feud! I love these sketches! That awkward moment when the dad from one family is the ex-husband of the mom from the other. I've probably said this a dozen times, but Leslie is really really tall. And one of the sons (Michael) decided to defect to the other family. 

I am THRILLED they decided to do one of the 'Brian Fellows' Safari Planet' bits. I love this sketch so much, Oh my god they got a real camel in the studio!! AND IT STEPPED RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA HAHAHAHA

The next bit was a fauxmercial for ... fake cocaine... and fake poop spray. And I don't know what is happening. 

It seems early for the musical performance, but OK. Demi Lovato is alright, I don't feel particularly strongly about her good or bad. She has a good voice, but she's missing her other sleeve. 

Update time!!! They have many many good points about how ridiculous the presidential election campaign is. Colin for president! And hey, he inserted a baseball joke!! 

SURPRISE TINA FEY!!! "We can all sell our boobs now!" She made Colin touch her arm-butt and he giggled, it was so cute. And then she literally hopped off the desk and ran away lol. Everyone is just falling apart with laughter. I love it. 

The next sketch was one of those ones that would cause my dad to looks sideways at the TV and go 'oookaaaaay...' It wasn't funny and laboured too hard and too nonsensically for the punchline, so I won't even dignify it with an explanation. 

Now there's an interesting premise - a guy threatening another guy with "You wanna dance?" and actually meaning it literally hahaha 

Keenan and Tracey together are hilarious, with a talk show dedicated to asking the question "Where's Jackie Chan at?!" And don't tell the he's in Asia - "We checked with Asia, he's not there"

SNL - Miley Cyrus

Full disclosure - I kinda hate Miley Cyrus. Like seriously. I find her obnoxious and unnecessary. But she usually does a pretty good job when she's playing a character on SNL.

The one bad thing about SNL is the time it's on - I need to watch it and giggle as quietly as possible so I don't wake up my roommates. Also I've been watching baseball all summer (Blue Jays are the AL East champs babyyyy!!!) and the short commercials have spoiled me for regular TV viewing...

I think Taran has been practicing that Trump impersonation all summer - and he NAILED it! At last, we finally get his honest opinions on women!

Hang on a second, I thought Keenan was leaving the show after last season?! He's still here?? Does that mean we get more Keenan reaction shots?!!

He's more versatile than Jon Stewart!  I need a whole library of these ASAP

The best part of the monologue was that I could mute it and still get the jokes - she was singing a 'goodbye' song to all the news stories/people that wouldn't be relevant beyond this summer (Kim Davis, Pizza Rat, Colin making a cameo as the main guy from the Entourage movie). My personal favourite was a creepy-looking Bobby Moynihan as Jared Fogle, who literally turned around and removed his glasses and became equally-creepy Josh Duggar.
As for Miley herself...

I'm not convinced Miley Cyrus likes weed. #SNL pic.twitter.com/vI9DEAQGdK

— Lisa Vikingstad (@LisaVikingstad) October 4, 2015

Yup.

Remember when I said I could tolerate Miley when she's playing a different character? Well in the first sketch (a Grease ripoff) she's basically playing herself, in a poodle skirt. Nope.
Poor new guy, with her licking his face in literally his first episode, that looked hella awkward. What was that thing she smeared on his face, a cupcake?

REAL HILLARY CLINTON SURPRISE APPEARANCE!! She showed up in a sketch with Kate McKinnon as a depressed Hillary Clinton in a bar mentioning listing off all her shortcomings. Her voice is perfect. And Real Hillary Clinton's impression of Donald Trump might have been better than even Taran's. DARYL HAMMOND SURPRISE APPEARANCE!! As Bill Clinton. This is funny, he's obviously always in the building to do his announcing duties. I'm surprised he doesn't make cameos more often.

Quick side note: I've always liked Hillary Clinton. I think she's a good sport. But she's serious when she needs to be. Obviously VERY smart. Kind of a badass. She actually reminds me a lot of my grandmother (especially the hair haha)

Oh god they made poor Hillary announce Miley... What the hell is on her head?! Even her mic stand has dreads, good grief... She doesn't have a bad voice, but I can't stand her music so I'm muting her anyways. 

ok now I am convinced pic.twitter.com/stgXBEYDJW

— Lisa Vikingstad (@LisaVikingstad) October 4, 2015

Lisa, you read my mind.

UPDAAAAATE!!!!!! Colin being adorable as usual - still has yet to crack a smile. He reminds me of Tulowitzki from the Blue Jays - he barely smiles either, but when he does, it's a thing of beauty.

Awwwww

I like Kyle Mooney, but his Update characters are always weird. Like this one - Pope Francis. Also that accent was massively inaccurate. 

Really? You made Che read the segregation joke?? Based on the audience reaction, they felt as awkward as I did. To even things out, Colin got a racism joke too - and then Che said 'I begged you not to do that' and COLIN LAUGHED but it was off-screen. Boo.

Oh haaai there Pete! As the 'resident young person'. He doesn't understand politics, this bit was actually pretty funny. THERE was a Colin smile! A canned one, but still. I think Pete has gotten more comfortable this year, and I like it. Colin laughed off-screen again. Curses.

I had to go back and add this after I found it. Canned smile, but I'll take it

Well that was interesting timing, just when I was thinking 'wait is Leslie still around??' there she is! And of course she can make Colin laugh, by flirting with him. "I wish I was JOSTbusting!" I love Leslie. She ends the bit by screaming that of course she wants to have sex with him and he's laughing and on the verge of blushing. Gosh he's pretty.

The next sketch was one I rolled my eyes at - such a tired premise 'ooooh millennials are stupid and lazy and entitled blah blah blah'. At least we got some interesting Keenan reactions out of it. People on Twitter are calling it the new Californians and OH DEAR GOD NO DO NOT BESMIRCH MY BELOVED CALIFORNIANS

The next bit is a group of girl friends re-enacting the deli scene from When Harry Met Sally.... I love that movie. They did a pretty good job of re-creating the set, too. I've always said the set/prop/costume people on SNL don't get enough credit. Their attention to detail is awesome. Also Leslie is hilarious. But the background people aren't reacting properly - WHO WOULD NOT BE STARING WHEN SHE'S SCREAMING LIKE THAT?!!! And insert Kate as the 'I'll have what she's having' lady hahaha. Vanessa just wanted to show off her Billy Crystal impersonation, let's be honest.

The next pre-recorded sketch is HILARIOUS, it's Aidy and Vanessa as best friends who are in an accident and then wake up from comas and the whole world is in a sort of post-apocalyptic state, after literally every person on earth has been dragged into Taylor Swift's squad. Very nice.

Apparently Miley tried to get Kyle to marry her hahaha and she keeps offering them extra money. Every time he opened the door to his dressing room, time had passed, until eventually the only way to get out of it was for him to die. Which, I don't really get why he wouldn't wanna marry her but it's OK, I wouldn't want to either. 

Catching up - Bones, SNL

Hey everyone, first of all I want to say thanks for reading! :) I do this for fun and it's super-rewarding to have people read all the goofy things I have to say.

Secondly, due to the end of the school year, between assignments, exams, and packing up to come home, I've fallen really behind on some of my shows. I had a late class on Thursday so I couldn't actually watch Bones or BBT live, and then I just never caught up.

Catching up actually takes more time than it should, because I'm always pausing the episode to keep up to the storyline (since there are no commercials) and to be honest, a marathon of that seems kind of not fun. Since this is supposed to be a fun project, I don't want to feel like I'm stressing out over getting caught up on something I should enjoy!!

I've also been sick in bed with a stomach bug since yesterday, so now would be the perfect time to catch up on watching, but I don't think I have the energy to write about everything. So I think what I'll do is watch and then write a quick summary of my thoughts all in one catch-all post here. I'm sorry if this disappoints anyone and if you want me to go more in-depth about a particular episode, leave a comment and maybe I'll go back and write another one when I have more time.

These are the episodes I've missed:

Saturday Night Live:

Dwayne Johnson (Airdate March 28th) Not bad. He's always been a good host in my opinion. Nothing really stood out, bad or good, but maybe that's because I watched this a week ago and now can't really remember it. I do remember liking the Update bit they did about Robert Durst.

Michael Keaton: (Airdate April 4th) This one aired Easter weekend, which kind of surprised me, I thought they usually had that week off for the holiday. The monologue with Bobby and Taran begging him to do the Batman/Beetlejuice voices was really cute. And the surprise Update appearance from Norman Reedus I'm sure would have been cool for someone who 1) actually watches The Walking Dead and 2) didn't have said surprise spoiled by the Internet before they watched the episode

Taraji P. Henson: (Airdate April 11) Surprise Daryl Hammond! The QVC sketch was ridiculous Kate at her best. AND OMG SURPRISE BILLY CRYSTAL!!!! I love Billy Crystal!! He's the greatest!! Just when I thought Jacob the Bar Mitzvah Boy was getting kind of boring, too...
Fun Billy-Crystal-related fact: My dad told me to use the cover of his book for his contact photo on my phone.

I think he makes this face a lot when talking to me.

Beck Bennett does a surprisingly amazing impersonation of Nick Offerman. I don't think I've seen anything with Taraji before (and I've never watched Empire) but she was hilarious!!

Bones: 

The Putter in the Rough: (Airdate April 16th)

I think they've covered every niche almost-sort-of professional sport on this show. They've done video gaming, boxing, skateboarding, competitive eating, bowling, now mini golf? Have we done darts yet? And naturally all of the competitors take their shit WAAAY too seriously... WENDELL IS BACK!!!! Cute as per usual, but also a terrible liar.
Bonus Arden Myrin! (Of MADTv fame). She's adorable, I like her. Aubrey is adorable too - and adorably awkward when talking to an over-sharey 18-year-old girl about her sex life with a man in his 30s. (EWW!)
Hodgins and Wendell are insanely impractical, messing up at every turn and then just trying to cover all of that up - have these dudes NEVER seen a sitcom?!
Max is up to some shadiness which is, naturally, top-secret. Oh, Max. When will you learn not to lie to your daughter?!
Aaand Arden Myrin's the killer. She's also kinda dumb. Like REALLY dumb... Thinks that killing her husband's best friend to saver her marriage counts as self-defense. And that she can just get community service for murder. Good grief.
My grandma also has a wind-up clock like that that doesn't work hahaha awwe that's so cute. Good guy Wendell telling the truth.
And we finally find out why Max left when Brennan was little.

The Eye in the Sky: (Airdate April 23rd)

New intern? There's a new intern?!! Ughhh... BRING BACK FINN!!! They're pregnant!! I already knew that!! Brennan can keep eating cookies!! And Booth does a somersault off the bed. Hodgins is experimenting again. WHY HODGINS WHY.
Oh nevermind the 'new' intern is just Jessica Warren again. She's been in like 5 episodes, she's hardly new. Booth is too excited and doesn't know Jessica's name. If I didn't know better, I'd think he was high.
Angela knows EVERYTHING - immediately figured out that Brennan was pregnant. Love her.
Aubrey develops a backbone and stands up to Booth about his gambling, channeling Sweets. So proud of him.
Jessica inspires Hodgins to invent an unbreakable beaker. Those would be useful.
Aubrey said he'd take a bullet for Booth and I am compelled to hug him. And see, nobody around them knows anything about the pregnancy, so they also aren't appropriately cautious about his addiction. Aubrey's a good dude.
And Booth resists temptation! Yaaay! (But seriously, everyone saw that coming)
And Hodgins invented a rubber thing that will prevent broken stuff - isn't that already a thing? But good for him, going back to being a rich dude.
And Booth is gambling again. On baseball. Goddamn.

SNL - Chris Hemsworth

I was at home this weekend and super confused (i.e. kept forgetting what day of the week it was). So I missed SNL. Oops. But never fear! I'm back!

I really miss Amy Poehler's Hilary Clinton impression. Kate's not bad, but her voice sounds too much like.. her regular voice. And what is this stiff-grabby hand gesture she's making?? I feel like I've seen that before...

I knew it!!

That's the first single-person cold open I've seen in a long time!

I think I know why that third Hemsworth brother isn't famous - he's shorter than the other two.

Apparently Chris found it really hard to become famous - they told him he was too tall, too handsome, too blonde, and his muscles were too big. And if a jacked Australian with a perfect face can make it, anyone can. How inspiring!

That poor man.

Taran and Chris are 'twins' in a fake kids show, and they try to switch places but everyone figures out that they're not the same person, because they look different and Taran is less handsome and they list ALL the differences between them.Including that Chris has blonde arm-hair and Taran's is dark and goes down to his hands... And their butts are differently shaped. Creepy teacher noticing these things about her students is creepy.

THEY'RE TOTALLY THE SAME!!!

They're doing a sketch about the show Empire in which they added Chris as the only white character. And Sasheer keeps hitting people with a broom.

Che cameo!

Now there's a sci-fi sketch on a spaceship in which their captain is a chicken. And Cecily doesn't agree with the chicken's leadership. And Chris is in love with the captain (whose name is Emily!) and he clearly has to improvise what he's saying because she keeps turning away from him. I think it's probably scared by all the audience - and he's lucky it didn't peck at him. And the chicken sacrificed herself to save the ship.. And turned into a roast chicken dinner. Who the hell came up with this sketch?!! It's so random...

A+ chicken acting. If that's even a thing.

Finally, a sketch about how ridiculous Iggy Azalea is - played by Kate McKinnon on her own 'show'. And she keeps having random people on who she's been feuding with, and Chris is her cousin who's teaching her all about hip hop. Jay is TI (one of his less accurate impressions, but still not bad) and keeps placing his headphones randomly on his head.

"If you don't know what to rap, just make a gun sound."
Kate's mannerisms are spot-on.

I have no idea what's happening here.

WEEKEND UPDAAATE!!! Colin's grandma may or may not be racist. Delta charges a 45$ 'cash-survival' fee. Leslie's baaack! As the 'relationship expert'. And flirting with Colin. He made her laugh, but he's just smiling. They're so cute. I ship it. And she's mad because she can't scare anyone anymore. IT'S REALLY COLD OUT!!
And now they're doing that thing where they go back and forth on the same story - an asshole doctor candidate for president said that 'homosexuality is a choice'.
And we finally get a proper Colin smile - when he 'steals' one of Michael's jokes and says that he has a small penis.

This makes me so happy!!! He tries to keep it in but he can't!!!

IT'S THE GIRL YOU WISH YOU HADN'T STARTED A CONVERSATION WITH AT A PARTY!!! She's talking about ISIS and Boko Haram. I think. I love this girl. She's so funny. And I didn't know that you could bring democracy to Syria via Instagram. I vote this is the best Update of this season so far.

Now Bobby's interviewing The Avengers, and Thor is such a party guy - taking selfies, doing the running man, and screaming random noises. And Taran is Iron Man. Pete is a scrawny, homeless-looking Bruce Banner, who may or may not have eaten a guy. Beck makes his first appearance of the night, as Captain America. HE'S NO CHRIS EVANS!!

Derpy Captain America is derpy.

Kate and Chris are in a soap opera/dramatic movie where she's dying, and Taran is their director. Apparently he used to work for The Jeffersons, which he refers to as 'The Jeffers-sons'. So he keeps giving them acting tips which would belong on a ridiculous sitcom. (To their credit, Chris and Kate totally own the sitcom tropes haha)

Big Brother-style fake reality show where Beck and Chris are going to order food, then Kyle wants to get groceries, and Beck freaks out (in one of those to-the-camera asides) and asks him to order food as well. But then Chris comes back and goes 'wait, Brian (Kyle) was not in the living room when I went in the shower.  But now he is? What is going on here?' And suddenly it's like a dating show because he has each of them step forward and confronts them about them changing their mind. Apparently the show is called 'So You Think You Can Live With Brian?' I love this concept. Even if it's the fourth pre-taped sketch we've seen tonight.

They're not pornstars anymore - but they ARE advertising 'Dolgee and Gababba'. And Ceciley's character is supposed to be dead, so shhh...

Chris Hemsworth on a scooter, everybody.

I have no idea when their next episode is, or who's hosting, but I will probably forget about that one too... Oops. Until then, friends!

SNL - Dakota Johnson

I must start by saying this: I am 100% against 50 Shades of Grey being made out to be a huge thing. It normalizes and romanticizes abusive relationship behaviour, and that's not a message that needs to being going out into the world. It's personal to me because I have a close friend who was in a terribly manipulative/abusive relationship, and that guy displayed a lot of the controlling behaviour that Christian does in the book. I don't want to rant on this here, but there are plenty of articles explaining the issue. Go read one. Educate yourself.

Having said that, I figured that sooner or later one of the stars of an extremely popular movie would be hosting SNL, sooo... I guess, at least, they didn't pick Jamie Dornan? After all, he's #NotMyChristian...

Bless John Oliver. Love that man.

OK, so according to Rudy Guiliani, you're allowed to say bad things as long as beforehand you say 'this is going to be horrible'. And they're parodying Birdman! I really want to know who's doing his in-head voiceover, because I do not recognize that voice. Might be Beck.
Note to self: WATCH BIRDMAN!!

Why so creepy, birdman Beck?

I don't know why, but I don't really like Dakota Johnson very much... She just seems very awkward and kinda whiny... And now we're applauding her for who her parents are. Aww and they're actually there! That's sweet!

Taran playing Dakota's dad is a really odd concept, because I don't think he's significantly older than her... And oooookay, making jokes about young people joining ISIS? Is that really OK? Like I definitely don't think that's very funny...

I think this next bit is a spoof on Cinderella... Holy god, I'm jealous of that dress Dakota is wearing. That is beautiful... And I can't remember who that chain-smoking character of Cecily's is, but she's definitely done it before. I love the way she drunkenly over-enunciates things. Hilarious. Apparently her brother wore pants too tight, and now he's 'all twig and no berries' ahaha. And the clock has struck midnight, so she (Dakota) has to inform the prince that 'I don't have time to tell you my name' three times.

Somehow, I don't think Sara Bareilles' 'Brave' is actually about being blunt and honestly rude to people. But this is kind of hilarious, how excited they all are to be honest. But here's what's bugging me about Dakota - she just has one happy face, she doesn't do the exaggerated joyful expression that the other ladies have mastered (especially Kate and Leslie). But seriously, I love that song.

Look how happy she is!!!

We're 20 minutes in, and they're already doing a 50 Shades-related sketch. And poor little Kyle, having to play a child again. He's a middle-schooler who's interviewing Dakota (playing herself) and getting WAAAAY too into detail about the movie. Oh hey, she and I actually have something in common! Her favourite dessert is pie too!

Basic white girls (and Bobby) sitting around discussing how cold it is out, overusing the word 'literally' and discussing how much they 'can't even'. This could have been lifted off of Tumblr. And poor Aidy LITERALLY cannot do anything, because her arms are actually broken! And the other bee-otches won't help her! How rude!!!

I have literally only heard of Alabama Shakes in the context of them being on SNL another time, about two years ago. And all I remember about them was their lead singer-lady having really big hair. She appears to have cut it since then.

UPDAAATE!!!! *Gasp* Colin is team White&Gold on The Dress. WHYY COLIN WHYY??!!!!

He favourited one of my tweets last week!! I had such high hopes for him!!!

They're making more ISIS jokes.. Am I the only one finding this timing awkward?!
I also love it when the audience laughs/cheers for a long time while the camera is on Colin, so he's forced to just sit there and smile and be cute. AND HIS FACE as Ruth Bader Ginsburg (Kate) is dancing is just so adorable. Although I think her catchphrase 'ya ginsburnt' is borrowing a little too heavily from something Seth does on his show...

She gets points for the pun though.

Wait, Kanye apologized to Beck? How did I miss this? Finally... AND I LOVE JAY PHAROAH AS KANYE!!! He's the new Bill Hader. So good at the impressions.

OH MY GOD IT'S RIBLET!!!! I'M SO HAPPY!!! I love this guy!! When they introduced him the first time, I was like 'good god, I hope they bring him back'. AND THEY DID!!!! I'm crying with laughter right now. Apparently his pigtails are detachable. And they had a mike delivered to him so he could drop it.. #RibletForUpdate2015 #UnlessThatMeansReplacingJostThenNevermind #JostCheAndRibletForThreeManUpdate2015

The Star Trek reference in this sketch is a little weird given the fact that Leonard Nimoy died yesterday... But also I'm distracted by one-note Dakota. YOU'RE AN ACTRESS WOMAN STOP BEING SO MONOTONE, WHO ARE YOU, KRISTEN STEWART?!!! But then she started cracking slightly, and so did Leslie, so I'll forgive her.. Keenan is just nuts. Awww but then they ended the sketch with a picture of Nimoy with 'Live Long and Prosper' written on it. That's sweet.

Oh hey they're talking about Net Neutrality!! A bunch of people who don't actually know what it is... Pete doesn't want people to comment neutrally 'this is fine.' that reminds me of a Demetri Martin joke...

Let's be honest, though, most things remind me of Demetri Martin jokes.

Damn. Leslie is team white and gold dress too?!! But Pete's on my side!! Woohoo!! Also, I hate to bring up John Oliver again (I totally do not, because he's awesome) but his show actually broke the internet when he did a piece on net neutrality and explaining how important it was. He got people interested in the debate, and got them to care. GO JOHN!!!

Beck and Kyle are making a 'viral video' about people not reacting to a sad situation - bullying, women's pay inequality, kids being lost- and they just start lecturing people about nothing. At least Kyle didn't have to dress like the child in this one. But he did have to dress like a woman. And a dog.

And everyone during the goodbyes (including Dakota's dad) did the 'Live Long and Prosper' salute, that's so sweet...

Also Colin was wearing a tight black t-shirt again. Hot damn.

Public service announcement: Someone finally listened to me and gave the lovely and hilarious SNL alum Will Forte his own TV show - it's called The Last Man on Earth and it's premiering tomorrow night at 9:00 p.m. eastern on FOX. WATCH IT!!! I've missed seeing his face on my TV, I'm so excited for this!!!

I think I've had Forte withdrawal...

SNL - 40th Anniversary Special

OH DEAR GOD. I don't know the last time I was so excited for something. Probably when I went to see Billy Joel last March. That was amazing. But this is having me hyperventilating and fangirling and giggling and tearing up all in one. My sister (who has never seen a full episode of SNL, only the odd sketch I've shown her) is watching with me, for at least the first little bit. This'll be interesting.
I can't believe they have LITERALLY EVERYONE on this show. How do you even manage that? And I was concerned they wouldn't be able to fit everyone into the studio... This post will be rambling and full of exclamation points. Try to keep up. (Also this thing is over 3 hours long and I'm too lazy to include a lot of pictures, so...)

DANCE JIMMY DANCE!!!! AND JUSTIN!!!! Of course they'd open the show with these two. They're so amazingly cool. OH MY GOD THEY'RE BLENDING EVERYTHING INTO A SONG AND I'M CRYING AT THIS!!! Justin's 'well isn't that special' was on point! This monologue (dialogue?) is going to be HUUUGE online tomorrow. *Bring it on down to SNL!!!!*
And Rachel is there to bring it down, as per usual... Blues Brothers reference!!! I still haven't watched that movie...
MORE COWBELL!!!! And Mary Catherine Gallagher!!!!

Oh dear god are they going to go through literally every single person appearing tonight?
A+ job by whoever edited these opening credits... And they had so many shots of deceased cast members - not sure if as a tribute, or just to make us cry, but well done.

Does Steve Martin opening this monologue count as 'hosting'? Look out, Alec Baldwin!! And Jon Lovitz isn't dead!
TOM HANKS!!!! "Acting is yelling for money!"  "HEY!" GOLD!!!!! (Hey, I could be an actor..)
Damnit, there's Alec. Guess he can count this as a hosting gig too... That competition. Loving it.
Ugh. They had to ruin this by bringing out Miley? My sister's reaction: 'ew'. Proud of her.
BILLY CRYSTAL!!!! He's adorable. And rather short.

Surprised the photographer managed to hold the camera still. They were probably laughing so hard.

'Singers named Paul'. Very small demographic. But what a talented one!

Obviously they had to use a pre-recorded clip for John and Gilda and Phil, and Chris Farley. And so we could all remember what Chevy Chase looked like in the seventies. All the way through to the modern sketches. Wow. So much funny. And my sister didn't know what any of them were. She has much to learn.

AYKROYD!!!! BASS-O-MATIC!!!! He doesn't seem as creepy as he did in the original... And the blender jammed hahaha awkward. That's live TV!!!

CELEBRITY JEOPARDY!!!! Oh man, they even busted out the old Jeopardy board for this. Darrell Hammond hasn't aged at all. And I never thought I'd see Sean Connery and Justin Beiber in the same scene. Surprise appearance by Norm McDonald as Burt Reynolds/Turd Ferguson. Hearing Taran as Christoph Waltz say 'heart heart wink and point' was so bizarre. I love it. And Jim Carrey as Matthew McConaughey is the best. How many people are on that stage right now?? Oh god why would they do a Bill Cosby reference?? 'We taped that in June!' Good save.

Somehow just playing Matthew McConaughey makes Jim Carrey more handsome.

Oh my god they're showing auditions, that's incredible. They're all so young and I want to cry. Why has Seth never done a British accent on the show?? It's excellent!! I'm astonished of how many of these characters they just made up themselves - Target Lady, Church Lady, - and holy shit Andy's short-shorts. Sudeikis' sideburns make me so happy.

I have such fond rememembrances of that hair.

There's nothing I love more than a good montage set to a sappy song. You go Alicia Keyes.
I took the opportunity provided by that commercial break to educate my sister on the wonderfulness that is Choppin' Broccoli.

I'm a little surprised that they're doing any full-song musical performances during this... But if anyone deserves one, it's Paul McCartney. I also just realized that SNL started before John Lennon died. Holy crap. That's a long time.

There are a lot of previously-done 'best of' montages happening here... What happened to 'it's mostly gonna be live'?

OMG THE CALIFORNIANS!!!!! I'M DYING!!!! I keep referring to all the cast members by their first names and my sister doesn't know who I'm talking about. This is a problem. 'The one with the sunglasses?' 'No, the one in the plaid'. 'Yeah that's Bill'. Bradley Cooper does an amazing job. And he's the father of Kristen's baby. And I'm loving Taylor Swift too. BETTY!!!!!! (And she's talking normally of course) THEY CRACKED!!!! Yesss! First crack of the night!! I never thought I'd see Bradley Cooper and Betty White make out. For not the first time in my life, I'm incredibly jealous of Betty White. 

YES YES YES YES YES!!!!!!

Crossover to the flight attendants sketch. David Spade bringing the snark. He's so underrated. But I'm confused - they got Cecily to do it this time, who used to do it with him?

3-lady Weekend Update. Best. Idea, Ever. Although I'd love for my baby Seth to be there with his cheeky smile. FOX News zinger in there too. BAM!
Emma Stone as Roseanne Rosanadanna (I have no idea how to spell that name). That's so cute.
EDWARD NORTON AS STEFON???!!!! OH MY GOD I CAN'T HANDLE THIS!!!! And then real Stefon - this is better than when Nicolas Cage was on 'Get in the Cage!' SETH!!! I could not be happier right now!!! 
Melissa McCarthy as Matt Foley was great, then Amy's sarcastic 'oh no, this is the only desk we have' and a last-second Land Shark tribute (apparently played by Bobby Moynihan)! Wonderful!
I miss 'Really?!!' so so so much. The worst part about Amy leaving was no more of that.
'Bitch is the new black'. Oh yeah. Seth in a navy tux. *swoons*.

Amy could care less.Love it.

I just had to explain to my sister the sad story of Phil Hartman. The Colon Blow fauxmercial is hilarious, but we weren't exactly laughing.

Martin Short is a fascinating person. I don't understand how he's so adorable and so ominous at the same time. AND MAYA RUDOLPH!!! AS BEYONCE!!!! MY FAVOURITE GIRL DOING ONE OF HER BEST IMPRESSIONS!!! AND SINGING IS INVOLVED!!! SHE'S SO IN HER ELEMENT. That woman needs her own show. OK full confession - I've never really liked Garth and Kat. We get it. You're unprepared. And you have weird vests. Give Maya more lines!!

Maya Rudolph: The SNL castwoman I would most like to be BFFs with.

Ana Gasteyer knows where my funny bone is. Her and Will doing that Culp Twins sketch was killing me.
CHOPPIN BROCCOLI!!! Oh come on, you're not going to give him time to do the whole song?!! Not fair... Adam Sandler looks like my uncle.
I HAVE NOT SEEN A 'WHAT'S UP WITH THAT' SKETCH IN SO LONG!!!! AND JASON IS BACK AS THE RUNNING MAN I CAN'T BREATHE!!!

Pictured: The third thing that caused me to hyperventilate in the last ten minutes. SUDEIKIS!!!!

I think 'love theme from Jaws' is an oxymoron. Bill Murray looks skinny.

THIS. ALL OF THIS. Two Bills is better than one.

Funny, I remember one of the Blues Brothers being taller than the other one... Then again, Jim Belushi is taller than John, may he rest in peace. My sister actually knew who he was. Good job, sister.

I knew Eddie Murphy as 'the funny dad' in a bunch of random movies when I was a kid. It's strange to think of him as an SNL cast member. Let alone a legendary one.

I had no idea Wayne Gretzky had ever been on SNL... But along with Mike Myers as Wayne from 'Wayne's World', that's an awesome pair of Canadian Waynes.

It's no secret, Will Forte is one of my favourite underrated SNL cast members of all time. But the ESPN commentating sketch was never his best one. Couldn't we do a MacGruber bit?!! Or three?!! That man also needs his own show.

Miss you Will!!!! (Although lose the 'stache)

Why is this show obsessed with Arcade Fire? They had one of the guys introduce Miley Cyrus (MUUUUTE, BTW, they could have had SOMEONE more important and classic than her on here, I mean how dare they put her and Sir Paul in the same category... Plus why is she singing a Paul Simon song?? They have the man himself RIGHT THERE!!!) and they're not even that popular in Canada. Where they're from. As am I.

I think I just spotted Jeff Goldblum in the audience. Did he ever host? Look at all these famous people!! That shot of Michael Douglas contained Edward Norton. Which reminds me - Edward Norton is always so serious and scary in his movies (Wes Anderson films, aside) that seeing him on SNL as this adorable cheerful person just makes me so happy. And I'm still astonished that they got him to be Stefon earlier. This is like the Oscars, I just keep looking in the background for interesting people.

I have such a soft spot for Edward Norton. Seth, clearly, does not.

MOM JEANS!! No need for redoing it - it's perfect as-is.

Aw.. sad moment about Tracey Morgan not being well enough to be there. But for them to use a Bryan Fellows bit as a tribute to him was perfect. That was always hilarious.

Why is Kanye lying on the floor. Why. Why. Oh right nevermind, it's 'artistry' and he's a genius. Sorry I asked. Can we get Dana Carvey to play Beck and come out and smack him in the face?
(Friendly monthly reminder, Dana Carvey follows me on Twitter. Be jealous. Be very jealous.)
Oh hello Sia, I didn't see you there. Probably because you're wearing a tutu on your head again. Is Kristen going to dance?

All I am thinking is that they could have used these musical interlude times for sketches. Or Digital Shorts. Shame. At least Kanye is a bit more of an influential, longer-lasting musician than Miley (although don't tell him I said that!)

OK now they're doing a tribute to the pre-recorded bits. Good. Although not nearly enough Digital Short bits. If it were up to me, they'd have a full 3-hour special just of Digital Shorts. But that's just me. So I was mistaken, during that Kanye performance, apparently it wasn't Sia, it was Zach Galifianakis. My bad!

OH DEAR GOD THEY MADE A NEW DIGITAL SHORT!!! WITH SANDLER!!!! AND IT'S ABOUT CRACKING UP (BREAKING) DURING SKETCHES!!!! Ripoff of Tina Turner's 'You're Simply the Best' and dare I say it - that was the best Digital Short ever. A self-referential sketch is the best kind of sketch.

Bill joined them and my heart soared.

Oh no, they had to do an 'in memoriam' bit. Bring down the tone. Now I'm sad. And Bill is too. Although the stopping and then restarting of the applause for each person is a little awkward. And it always makes me so sad when they have a picture of two cast members (John and Radna, Phil and Chris Farley) who are both deceased. And I miss Don Pardo's voice so much.
But then they brought it back up again - Jon Lovitz is not dead!!! But the Generalissimo still is! Ooooh SNL, you clever people.
(My sister has pointed out that it would be really really awkward if Jon Lovitz is the next SNL cast member to die. Let's hope none of them ever do.) 

WAYNE'S WORLD!!!! YESSSS!!!!! They couldn't not. I mean come on. And Mike hadn't been in any sketches yet. And they poked fun at Kanye West. Excellent.
Garth thinks Beck was even better than Beyonce. Yet another reason for me to love Garth. And they love Lorne (although their wine glasses are clearly fake). "We're not worthy!! The crew, ladies and gentlemen!!" I worked backstage at plays in highschool - and I can tell you, the crew is the most underrated part of the production.

SIT YOUR ASS DOWN KANYE!!!! Attaboy Garth.

Oh sure, NOW they let Paul Simon sing. I can't believe it's almost over. Three and a half hours. I would have easily sat through six. It's a long weekend, I've got nothing to do. (Sister has gone to bed, she missed the last 20ish minutes. I will force her to watch the PVR recording tomorrow. Especially that Wayne's World sketch. That was beautiful.)

This just in: Lorne Michaels is 70. This also just in: Lorne Michaels does not in any way shape or form, look as though he's 70.

SNL - J.K. Simmons

(Note: My roommate had some people over so I was unable to watch the beginning of the episode, but when it goes up online I'll watch it and fill in that part)

 There was a pretty awesome article for my inner TV-production nerd regarding the set preparation for last week. Read it here: http://www.vulture.com/2015/01/how-saturday-night-live-gets-built.html

I love Keenan's character (even though I have no idea how to spell his name) who hosts the 'Cinema Classics' bit, his emphasis of random syllables. It's the alternate ending of Casablanca and Simmons is Humphrey Bogart and Kate is Ingrid Bergman. His impersonation is excellent, and she just keeps whining and saying 'nooo, no, no nooo...' and then as soon as he mentions the concentration camps, she's totally OK with leaving. Eager, in fact. And she keeps interrupting his dramatic monologue. Then she shouts 'byeeee' and scampers away. (I'd do that too in her situation... although this reminds me that I totally still need to see Casablanca).

They're still trying to find a followup to the Digital Shorts. This one is called 'Teacher Snow Day' and is pretty hilarious - all the teachers are at the school going crazy, doing lines of chalk, having a rave in the teacher's lounge, Kyle is a chem teacher (wearing two pairs of glasses) and cooking meth in his classroom. And J.K. Simmons is the principal who actually RAPS (never thought I'd see that day!) and isn't wearing any pants. Pete is a student and showed up at the school accidentally and now has all kinds of blackmail material. Excellent concept, except for the fact that teachers get to stay home on snow days too...

Bobby has a hall pass. His desk, on the other hand... does not.

UPDAAATE!!! Colin is wearing a striped tie with a plaid shirt. Are we ok with this? I'm ok with this. And he smiled when talking about Mitt Romney not running for president (also, thank god for that).
Colin makes a good point about the Superbowl having that anti-domestic-violence ad on when the NFL players can't watch it.. OH MAN I love the Cecily character the one-dimensional girl character from a male-driven comedy!!! She thinks Colin needs to grow up. Aaaand she's pregnant. But her body doesn't show it. And the baby is Colin's. But clearly fake.

She's a girl. But also hot. And she likes sports. It's so confusing.

PS I don't understand the whole Tom Petty/Sam Smith thing. I don't think they sound anything alike. (Although I might be biased because I love the Sam Smith one and I've hated 'I Won't Back Down' since I was a kid). Here are the two songs in question, so you can decide:

JEBEDIAH ATKINSON IS BACK!!!!! I was just thinking the other day, why hadn't he been around lately?? And here he is!!!! "All about that bass, bout that bass, no talent". BOOM! And the U2 thing reminds me of my unpopular opinion #47 - I didn't hate the entirety of that free album... NEXT!!! "If anything, the Beatles ruined Yoko" hahahahaha... He reminds me of a guy I went to highschool with whenever he reacts to the audience cringing... YOU ARE A TERRIBLE PERSON JEBEDIAH!!

J.K. as an old man trying to use Microsoft Word to type a letter - and Bobby is dancing in as the new paperclip guy (he's a pushpin now). And he's super irritating. And apparently voice-activated now. And then he gets all sad when they try to disable him, which is apparently synonymous with murdering him. Damnit they just made me feel bad for a little help icon. And it looks so funny because they greenscreened out Bobby's legs so he's just balancing on the point.

Ahh, nostalgia. I do not miss this little bugger. 

Seriously, how many pretaped bits are they going to do? This one is a biopic on Jay-Z, but for some reason they've got Mike O'Brien playing him (I thought he got fired?) and being all dorky and Sasheer as Beyonce (totally nailed it) and OH MY GOD JASON SUDEIKIS AS KANYE WEST!!! JASON I'VE MISSED YOU SO MUCH!!!! J.K. is Nas. Is he going to rap again? OH DEAR GOD Jay Pharoah's impression talent knows no bounds. He just 'gave him the idea' for Empire State of Mind and SOUNDED EXACTLY LIKE HIM. Damn. If they ever do actually make a Jay-Z biopic, (or a Kanye one, or a Will Smith one for that matter) I nominate Jay for the role!!!

JASON!!!!!! #SudeikisHostSNL2015

Is it just me, or do they use the same set for all the classroom sketches? J.K. is Pete's dad at 'career day' and he's telling the kids that he's a 'Japanese Messy Boy' which apparently means he has to wear underpants and a bib and eat messy food while rich Japanese ladies watch him. For $45,000/day. And Pete's embarrassed. Naturally. And I know that SNL has never been one for racial sensitivity, but that caricature of a Japanese voice they did on the phone there was just BRUTAL...

Anyways, that's it for this week!