NCIS: Los Angeles - Matryoshka, Part 2

I am a bad fan.

I had a lot of assignment-y-type things due on Tuesdays through February, and as a result I would procrastinate and be doing them at the last minute. So I kept missing NCIS: LA. And then, when I got behind, I was just like 'ehhh I'm too tired to blog about it and catch up.' Bad. Shame on me.

So I'm gonna attempt to marathon all the things and catch up and yeah. (Even though I have a class presentation tomorrow, and one the day after that, and an assignment due the day after THAT.)

Anna is flirting with some dudes in Russian, in a bar. And then when she switches to English, she no longer sounds Russian. As per usual.

She lures one of the guys outside and then pushes him into a van, which just so happens to contain Sam. Hey this prison guard guy they kidnapped looks slightly like San Francisco Giants catcher Buster Posey! I'm gonna call him Russian Buster from here on out.

Real Buster has nicer hair, though. 

Everyone back at Ops (except Granger and Hetty) are super-worried about the risks being taken by Callen and Sam in Russia. Granger's all 'meh who cares if they die they die' and Hetty's like 'my team is invincible, what are you talking about'.

Someone sneaks up on Anna and she whips out her gun, but it's just a Hetty iPad attatched to a Segway.  Which is totally necessary. You know, she couldn't just use a phone or something. or Skype. Hetty would never use such a plebian method of communication.

I'm inclined to point out that Sheldon did it first. And better. 

Anna refuses to refer to Arkady as her dad. Oh good! She has daddy issues! Something else for her and Callen to bond over!!

Back at Ops, Eric and Nell run some simulations of the plan, and Nell delivers some badass wisdom on Granger when he says 'life isn't a video game'. Cos "In a video game, you get to start over."
Hey Granger, when have you ever played a video game?? They're fun. You hate fun.

For some reason, Anna is wearing a blanket, over her regular clothing to sleep - and then she falls asleep on Callen's shoulder like two sentences in to his description of the plan?? How ridiculously contrived is that?

For some reason there's some sketchy guy they need to investigate, and Granger decides to send Eric out in the field. ERIC?! And how dare you, sir, tell him to put on pants! He's clearly allergic to fabric beyond knee-length!

HAHAHA WE GOT ERIC FLEXING AND WEARING COMBAT PANTS AND OH MY GOD

Anna asks Callen what he 'thinks of her'. And he gives the only correct response - "That's... kind of a... broad question." Blah blah blaaah, bonding over absentee fathers, yadda yadda 'maybe broken is normal'... Gag me with a spoon.

The guy Deeks and Kensi were going to talk to does indeed start shooting, and Eric freezes up, but then he plays the hero, pulling out a flashbang that dazes the guy long enough for Deeks to shoot him. The others are impressed with his strategy, meanwhile I'm impressed with his aim! I think I kinda like Badass Beale.

Oh my god, they block the transport carrying Arkady and the CIA guy with a COW hahaha that's definitely something I've never seen before.

Nell is really proud of Eric for what he did earlier - and he looks at her with super-honest eyes and says he was scared that he - DAMNIT GRANGER YOU HAVE THE WORST TIMING, THEY WERE HAVING A MOMENT HERE!!!!

Granger, interrupting ALL your personal conversations.

They can't get out of Russia because the CIA guy is hurt so that would attract suspicion. He says he knew Callen way back in the day. He gets them to a safe house (which has a weirdly cryptic walkie talkie on the side of the road that claims to have an IED planted under it if he doesn't give the password. There's an old man at the house who has a meaningful look at Callen.

Callen finds a bunch of nesting dolls at the house, and one of those coins that his father had handed out to refugees in an earlier episode.

They have no choice but to leave on horseback, which Arkady is none too pleased about.

Callen and the old guy have a deep conversation without saying much at all. And then they get interrupted by the folks who are there to help them escape. DANGNABBIT! What's with all the interruptions?!! He says "I'll tell you another time". But you won't see him again!

HOLY CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!!!!!!

CALLEN HAS A FIRST NAME

IT'S GRISHA

AND HE HAS SOME MIDDLE NAMES TOO

You know, I'm not gonna lie, it's not the kind of name I would have expected for him. I was expecting something tough, like Gregor or Gabriel or Gryffindor.

But Callen will be Callen and he will be a badass no matter what his name is. I'm just so glad he knows! (But really, wouldn't that reveal have been best saved for like, a season finale or something?? I mean it's the ONE big mystery this show's had since Day One...)

NCIS: LA - Come Back

Oh my god! So remember how Kensi had that fiance who turned out to be a bad guy?? Well my roommates and I have been watching Scandal lately, and the guy who played her fiance was a double-crossing male hooker. Why does he always play sketchy dudes??

KENSI AND DEEKS ARE MOVING IN TOGETHER!!! YAAAY! Eric is excited for them and it's adorable.

Hetty owns a building where something sketchy happened, and then she sends Kensi and Deeks off cryptically to be on protection detail for someone - DUN DUNNN IT'S JACK, HER EX-FIANCE!!

Hi. Remember me?

Sam and Callen start bantering about something that Sam was writing on his computer that Callen accidentally read over his shoulder. They track down a car belonging to a Mabel Perkins, it's at a chop shop, and suddenly Callen and Sam are outnumbered by some thugs (also a squirmy little evil guy with an electric drill) but they make short work of them.

Jack had been acting as a guide for a dude named Riggs who was documenting historical sites and artifacts, but then working with some sketchy people who were probably planning to steal it. Jack alerted Hetty, and then someone tried to kill him. Hence the protective detail.

Nell used to have the nickname of Indiana Jones (how adorable is that) and then Eric mentions her needing a whip and she gets a little TOO excited about that.

I've got a costume idea for Nell's next Halloween...

Also she may or may not have spent a summer following a band around. I love it when the nerds get some character development!

Jack's married and Kensi does a terrible job of acting like she's fine with it. Granger shows up at the safe house unannounced and that's how you get shot, bro.

Replace 'ants' with ' getting shot' and yeah, basically. 

Callen and Sam show up at the motel where the shooter's car came from, and the guy at the desk lies to them, runs away, shoots at them and then gets shot by them... Because... I dunno. I'm lost.

There was a text on the dead guy's phone from someone called Geb (not Jeb) Callen asks 'as in Bush?' But no, that one's name would be pronounced Jeb-exclamation-point. John Oliver has taught me well. 

Something-something undercover meeting with the Riggs guy, yadda yadda I'm too tired for this stuff... Riggs and a shady Egyptian dude show up at the meeting point, call Sam on a phone, spy on him, and then speed away? What the hell was the point of that... 

Jack doesn't know what Netflix is. Because he's literally been living in a cave, remember? Poor guy... Life without Netflix *shudders*

For real Granger, announce yourself before knocking!! You should know better than that! 

Also Riggs is dead. Oopsie.

They think Jack might have betrayed everyone and told the bad guys where he was to save his family. And now he's getting all reminisce-y with Kensi. And then people start shooting at them, cos he's a dumb-dumb double-crosser and put her in danger. BTW that actor's name is Matthew Del Negro and he REALLY plays a type. The bad guy stands over Kensi waving a gun, Jack says 'no kill me instead' and then they all kind of stand around waiting for the backup to arrive just in time. 

Also it turns out Jack's brave would-be sacrifice was all for nothing, because Hetty placed his family under protection as soon as it appeared he was in danger. Sheesh. 

This woman thinks of everything. 

And then she gives Kensi a hug and makes her feel better. Awwe.

Deeks said 'Granger Danger' hahahaha I love it. And Jack approves of Deeks, which is a stupidly symbolic gesture cos I don't think it really mattered if he liked Deeks or not... Since, you know, Kensi's an adult and all...

And she ended the episode by saying 'always' and I JUST watched the last Harry Potter movie on Friday and Alan Rickman is dead and AGHHH now I'm reliving it Kensi why would you remind me of something so painful?!!?!?!!

NCIS: LA - Cancel Christmas

[NOTE: Sorry, Student Emily was drunk on happiness over finishing her last exam tonight (and of the following sassy photo of Josh Donaldson in a Santa hat AND a sweater bearing his own likeness) that she forgot to pay attention to the time and missed the beginning of NCIS:LA today.

Hopefully you can't blame me for being distracted by this. It's pretty great.

So she had to wait until it got uploaded online. As a result, she's now writing this after midnight, as Sleepy Emily, and is referring to herself in third person. This should make for an interestingly nonsensical recap.]

Christmas! Christmas is coming!! That little tiny toy train close-up at the beginning is kinda ominous though. So is the song slowing down and everything getting blurry. And then a dude gets hit by a truck. Yeouch.

NELLRICK ARE DANCING!!! Not in a romantic way - but with giant candy canes! SO CUTE!!! But Granger doesn't like it. Because he hates fun. And cute things. He might be allergic to them.

See?

But it's OK, Hetty delivers some shade. #HettyTheBest

Janvier (the one-armed psychopath that wants to kill Callen) sent Callen a Christmas card. It's the only one he got, other than Sam's. Sam takes offense to their proximity to one another. Is that a thing? You need to not put cards from murderers next to ones from your friends? 

Joelle makes an appearance! AND CALLEN GOT ONE OF THOSE CAR-RUDOLPH KITS!!! I LOVE RUDOLPH!!! 

Don't believe me? These are my socks.

And I own this shirt. His nose lights up. I'm a dork. 

Deeks and Kensi are having issues with their mothers who both want to cook Christmas dinner. Sam's grumpy, cos he doesn't want to have to work anymore - and he's mean to Eric. But Kensi thought he was adorable, and Kensi is right! Yaaaay Kensi! 

Dead dude was a North Korean spy. Deeks wants to go work on the case, but Callen declines. Also, I really love Deeks. 'Knuckleheadedness' is totally a word, Sam, even if my spellchecker doesn't think so. They find a dead guy who's not actually dead, he's just passed out. 

Deeks is talking to a Santa-bikini-wearing charity-gathering girl who saw the guy die at the beginning. Apparently 'tannenbaum' is the Christmas word for bingo! I will be using that this season. Deeks and Kensi are having their coupley discussions about lingerie in the middle of the street. As one does. 

WTF Granger, why are you in such a rage?! Because 'terrorism doesn't take holidays' apparently. What a grumpypants. Eric snuggled sugar cookies into Ops, because Eric is wonderful. I don't usually love shortbread, but they had some at my school cafeteria the other day and it made me SO HAPPY!! 

Kensi wants to raise a baby tiger and Kensi just said the word 'bitches' like what is happening here? But baby tigers are damn cute. 

Exhibit A (Hiiiii Joey Bats!) 

Someone turned the gas on in the dead guy's house, and Deeks and Kensi run out but it doesn't go KABOOM like I was expecting it to. Disappointing. 

Some girl fake-cries in front of Callen, then tries to attack him (why do bad guys always make grunting noises right before attacking someone?) and he takes her in for questioning because she poisoned the dead guy right before he died. (Was that Jeanette McCurdy?? It looked like Jeanette McCurdy) and the guy they found in the motel had just gotten out of prison so he asks to borrow some clothes, Granger says 'no' because Granger is a Grinch.

I see the resemblance. 

Also I'm calling him 'Grinchger' from now on. Got it? Good. Callen is nice and offers to help him. Good guy Callen. Eric is rambling on on the phone to Deeks, and he's having a sugar high it's kind of adorable. Deeks takes a fun hypothetical conversation and turns it into a confession about the IA investigation. Your timing is bad, Deeks, and you should feel bad. 

But somehow Kensi had figured it out?! Smartypants Kensi!!! Proud of that girl. It turns into a really cute conversation where he says he needs to kiss her and she says no cos they're working and waahhh why don't I have a boyfriend... 

The girl's mom shot Grinchger in the ass, apparently, and he carries around a photo of her for some reason. He offers her a warm beverage (because that's what you do when someone is sad) and says it has poison in it, because he too hates the holidays.

Callen dropped off the just-out-of-prison guy, is all nice to him, but then they find out that he actually knew the girl and took off from the house with their dog. Nell and Eric want puppies. I want to see Nell and Eric with puppies. The cuteness overload would be worth it. SMART DUDE he had the names of spies embedded in the chip in his dog, took it to a shelter, and got them to read the list. 

Callen tracks him down and puts him in a cage, has some more witty banter (I love you Callen) and they take him to set up a meet with the bad Korean buyers.  

OK I understand that going undercover and tackling the Korean spies was necessary, but did Deeks really have to dress as Santa?! He's gonna scar all those kids for life!! Sam shows up with his son, who was supposed to wait in the car, but didn't. Which might have been a good idea, because as Chuck taught us... 

He's instead super-interested in becoming an NCIS agent. Which Sam is not OK with - even if he's alright with him being in the Navy? 

Kensi wants Deeks to bring his Santa outfit, and they manage to solve their mother problem, inviting them instead to Sam's house. Hetty has a back-up gift for Callen for Joelle, because Hetty thinks of everything, and then NELL AND ERIC SHOW UP DRESSED LIKE TOY SOLDIERS!!! And Granger catches them and tells them to have fun. SO DAMN CUTE!!!! THEY'RE LIKE TEENY PRECIOUS ELVES!!! 

Except they're not elves they're soldier/nutcracker thingies, but who cares THEY'RE SO GOSHDARN CUTE!!!! 

Callen shows up at home, Joelle loves that he got her a gift, she set up a nice dinner for them - and then proceeds to tell him she is going to break up with him at New Years?! Because she worries about him too much?! Joelle you heartless fiend, who has that conversation on Christmas?!!!! 

Merry Christmas, friends!! I, for one, think we can be thankful this didn't end on a cliffhanger! See you in the new year!! 

NCIS: LA - Defectors

I somehow accidentally had the described video on for the first five minutes. I have no idea how it got turned on, and I have no idea how I managed to turn it off again, but DAMN that stuff is thorough. "Callen sits back and looks at Kensi's desk." The only problem is, it pauses during the dialogue, so I couldn't tell if I'd actually managed to turn it off or not.

A guy got hit by a car after getting out of his car at a stoplight because his gas cap was open. The guy who hit him was suspected of being a terrorist. His wife(? Girlfriend?) looks like she's 12 years old.

Callen bought Kensi a self-help book because she makes a mess all over his desk all the time (but Deeks put him up to it)

Wow, this whole episode is about ISIS and its recruiting tactics. I can see why they didn't air it last week. Also ride-sharing apps are the devil. But that's nothing new.

The team goes to a house and pulls guns on an unsuspecting woman and her daughter, and holds said guns on her even after she explains her other daughter has been 'taken'. The daughter was probably recruited to ISIS. Oh dear.

Callen just said 'that's my girl' to Nell and I said 'awwwwwe'!!

I sense a big brother/little sister vibe here

The sister is obnoxiously ditzy-sounding. Like she'd fit in better with on a Disney Channel show. Apparently the missing girl, Zahra, was watching ISIS propaganda videos. She's flying to Turkey to offer herself as a bride. And she was approached by a modelling agency that may have been a front. Yeesh. Can't trust anybody!

Hetty knew Jackie O, and I am not at all surprised. Kensi has to go undercover as a model. How does nobody ever hear her when she's talking to Deeks through her earpiece?! She's not exactly subtle... Just like when she was digging through the file cabinet at the modelling agency and the creepy blonde lady catches her. Or when the guy who owns the modelling agency was having an affair in the back seat of his car and Deeks catches HIM!

Well that was an awkward conversation

Zahra wasn't on the plane she was supposed to be on, but some other girls have also gone missing and might be sent to Iran - or, they're with the creepy photographer guy from the modelling agency. And Zahra was locked in the trunk of a car.

Plus Kensi was smart and convinced the other two girls to go home. Kensi and Deeks start bantering and Callen and Sam exchange a look.

Except they're Granger in this scenario

Then Kensi and Deeks walk outside, still bantering, and there are two dudes in suits near his car, and then they arrest him, for murder?!!

And then he turns and looks at Kensi and says 'I love you' but it was in a weird tone, like 'Oh, yeah, by the way', not really a declaration of love as you're being led away in handcuffs kinda thing...

And oh yeah, that's where they leave it. No further explanation. Cliffhanger.

And we all know how I feel about cliffhangers...

NCIS: LA - The Long Goodbye

So they changed the episode that was supposed to air tonight, in light of the terrorist attacks in Paris over the weekend, because it was supposed to be about ISIS. Definitely a smart move on CBS's part, but the opening scene involved a bomb and a bunch of shooting, I'm not sure how that's much better.
And in terms of rearranging the episodes, I'm not sure how they will swing that with the non-case-related plot items being out of order. I'm (pleased, but) surprised they didn't just bump all the episodes forward a week and air a rerun this week.

Callen is a good friend, offering to help Kensi with a situation with a PSB ('Parking Space Bitch') at Starbucks. She's right though, sometimes women DO just want to vent without people offering advice or a solution! I wish my guy friends (and my mom) would understand that!!

Sam's old 'friend' Jada was the one who was attacked and kidnapped - she was on her way to the States to go into witness protection. There's something to do with a cartel, and she might have been running away from the NCIS folks because she doesn't trust them.

Oh, BTW, Talia is back. She and Kensi are undercover. As models. With the cartel.

DEEKS WANTS TO HANG OUT WITH CALLEN!!! I want them to be buddies!!! They're my faves. "What could you possibly have plans for, staring at the ocean smoldering?"

I am certain that Callen making this face would be my favourite thing ever.

Kensi finds a guy at the party who's on a laptop looking at photos of Jada, and she pretends to want to dance with him, but then Talia's connection gets all annoyed with her, and they kick his butt. Everyone else runs away, instead of trying to fight the girls.

For some reason, the girls are getting changed behind a screen. In the middle of Ops. Right in front of the guys. Do you guys not have a bathroom or something? This is seriously weird.

Sam's interrogating a guy who thinks he knows everything about what happened with him and Jada. Sam is about to get up and probably strangle the dude, but Hetty intervenes. Good timing, Hetty.

Callen and the team follow someone to a theater, where he takes part in a shady handoff with someone in a hoodie - except the guy in the hoodie isn't a guy at all, it's Jada! And she gets in a car and takes off!

For some reason Jada wants to go back to Sudan but this is so confusing, I mean she was on this show like 3, 4 seasons ago?? HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO KEEP TRACK OF ALL THESE PEOPLE?!! They need to stop doing this!!! Sam wants to prevent her from going back to Sudan because he thinks she'll be killed.

Talia also has a PSB of her own, and she offers to have a talk about it. So sweet. Callen is still not taking sides. Love him.

The head cartel guy shoots the agent who was helping Jada, as she's about to get on a plane - and then Callen shoots that guy, but he tells Callen that he's not actually the Molina guy. Turns out the guy in the interrogation room with Sam was actually Molina. Jada's brother had told him that he was going to kill her. And literally no one is surprised.

Callen hands Jada his phone, with Sam on the other end, and he tells her that her brother's waiting to kill her. She chooses to leave anyways. Damn, this is sad. She's so lonely she just wants to go home even if that means death. Or else she's delusional about who her brother is.

Talia is now flirting with Callen, and agrees that he would give a good smolder. But nobody wants to hang out with Deeks. Poor Deeks.

Catching up - Bones, SNL

Hey everyone, first of all I want to say thanks for reading! :) I do this for fun and it's super-rewarding to have people read all the goofy things I have to say.

Secondly, due to the end of the school year, between assignments, exams, and packing up to come home, I've fallen really behind on some of my shows. I had a late class on Thursday so I couldn't actually watch Bones or BBT live, and then I just never caught up.

Catching up actually takes more time than it should, because I'm always pausing the episode to keep up to the storyline (since there are no commercials) and to be honest, a marathon of that seems kind of not fun. Since this is supposed to be a fun project, I don't want to feel like I'm stressing out over getting caught up on something I should enjoy!!

I've also been sick in bed with a stomach bug since yesterday, so now would be the perfect time to catch up on watching, but I don't think I have the energy to write about everything. So I think what I'll do is watch and then write a quick summary of my thoughts all in one catch-all post here. I'm sorry if this disappoints anyone and if you want me to go more in-depth about a particular episode, leave a comment and maybe I'll go back and write another one when I have more time.

These are the episodes I've missed:

Saturday Night Live:

Dwayne Johnson (Airdate March 28th) Not bad. He's always been a good host in my opinion. Nothing really stood out, bad or good, but maybe that's because I watched this a week ago and now can't really remember it. I do remember liking the Update bit they did about Robert Durst.

Michael Keaton: (Airdate April 4th) This one aired Easter weekend, which kind of surprised me, I thought they usually had that week off for the holiday. The monologue with Bobby and Taran begging him to do the Batman/Beetlejuice voices was really cute. And the surprise Update appearance from Norman Reedus I'm sure would have been cool for someone who 1) actually watches The Walking Dead and 2) didn't have said surprise spoiled by the Internet before they watched the episode

Taraji P. Henson: (Airdate April 11) Surprise Daryl Hammond! The QVC sketch was ridiculous Kate at her best. AND OMG SURPRISE BILLY CRYSTAL!!!! I love Billy Crystal!! He's the greatest!! Just when I thought Jacob the Bar Mitzvah Boy was getting kind of boring, too...
Fun Billy-Crystal-related fact: My dad told me to use the cover of his book for his contact photo on my phone.

I think he makes this face a lot when talking to me.

Beck Bennett does a surprisingly amazing impersonation of Nick Offerman. I don't think I've seen anything with Taraji before (and I've never watched Empire) but she was hilarious!!

Bones: 

The Putter in the Rough: (Airdate April 16th)

I think they've covered every niche almost-sort-of professional sport on this show. They've done video gaming, boxing, skateboarding, competitive eating, bowling, now mini golf? Have we done darts yet? And naturally all of the competitors take their shit WAAAY too seriously... WENDELL IS BACK!!!! Cute as per usual, but also a terrible liar.
Bonus Arden Myrin! (Of MADTv fame). She's adorable, I like her. Aubrey is adorable too - and adorably awkward when talking to an over-sharey 18-year-old girl about her sex life with a man in his 30s. (EWW!)
Hodgins and Wendell are insanely impractical, messing up at every turn and then just trying to cover all of that up - have these dudes NEVER seen a sitcom?!
Max is up to some shadiness which is, naturally, top-secret. Oh, Max. When will you learn not to lie to your daughter?!
Aaand Arden Myrin's the killer. She's also kinda dumb. Like REALLY dumb... Thinks that killing her husband's best friend to saver her marriage counts as self-defense. And that she can just get community service for murder. Good grief.
My grandma also has a wind-up clock like that that doesn't work hahaha awwe that's so cute. Good guy Wendell telling the truth.
And we finally find out why Max left when Brennan was little.

The Eye in the Sky: (Airdate April 23rd)

New intern? There's a new intern?!! Ughhh... BRING BACK FINN!!! They're pregnant!! I already knew that!! Brennan can keep eating cookies!! And Booth does a somersault off the bed. Hodgins is experimenting again. WHY HODGINS WHY.
Oh nevermind the 'new' intern is just Jessica Warren again. She's been in like 5 episodes, she's hardly new. Booth is too excited and doesn't know Jessica's name. If I didn't know better, I'd think he was high.
Angela knows EVERYTHING - immediately figured out that Brennan was pregnant. Love her.
Aubrey develops a backbone and stands up to Booth about his gambling, channeling Sweets. So proud of him.
Jessica inspires Hodgins to invent an unbreakable beaker. Those would be useful.
Aubrey said he'd take a bullet for Booth and I am compelled to hug him. And see, nobody around them knows anything about the pregnancy, so they also aren't appropriately cautious about his addiction. Aubrey's a good dude.
And Booth resists temptation! Yaaay! (But seriously, everyone saw that coming)
And Hodgins invented a rubber thing that will prevent broken stuff - isn't that already a thing? But good for him, going back to being a rich dude.
And Booth is gambling again. On baseball. Goddamn.

NCIS:LA - Field of Fire

Fights breaking out in hospital rooms - totally run-of-the-mill for this show.
I always feel bad for the casual innocent naive bystanders who are nice to criminals without knowing who they are. Case in point: that hospital security guard.

Deeks wants to mentor a kid who's like an exact Deeks Mini-me.
And naturally, the escaped guy is insanely dangerous AND a trained killer. Because why not? And if he's having mental issues which lead to him being confused and hostile. LOVELY.

The escaped guys' teenage daughter is a total snotfaced brat and I want to slap her... Although Deeks doing the *hastag* thing made me giggle.

The (nurse? orderly?) guy at the hospital is less-than-helpful, considering they're looking for the dude who attacked him. Callen and Sam also find a bag of suspicious drugs under the bed.

Apparently the missing sniper Connor was also obsessed with Charles Whitman (the University of Texas tower shooter). Greeeeat. I can see where this is gonna end up.

Apparently Kensi is an expert sniper again, something they mention so infrequently I'd nearly forgotten about it. Granger doesn't think Deeks 'cleans up well'. I DISAGREE, GOOD SIR.

Pictured: Granger's words being eaten. 

Kensi does what she does best - lie and gain people's trust to get information - and Deeks does what he does best - antagonize people - while undercover at the VA.

Sam gives a pep talk to that random homeless guy outside the hospital that we saw at the beginning - turns out he is an excellent witness and gives them some good information.

Deeks realizes that the sketchy nurse-man from earlier was totally giving away drugs illegally. Then chases him down the hallway, arrests him in the stairwell. He thinks admitting to it (after he's already caught) should 'count for something'. Not exactly how it works, pal.

A former marine who was a right-wing extremist had been visiting Connor in the hospital, and after his visits Connor began sliding into crazyville. The drugs were also a zombie drug that kind of control people's minds. That dude, Simmons, was picked up by a car service right before the same driver picked up Connor at the VA.

Some nice comic relief for a moment while Kensi and Deeks go to interview that driver, he mistakes Kensi for a stripper and she teaches him a lesson of how to LISTEN.

Deeks tells this dude to take several chill pills, and Kensi thinks it's the funniest thing she's ever heard. 

So Sam and Callen go to visit the right-wing assholes (complete with Confederate flag! The props department is really getting their money's worth out of that thing) and stare down the little weasel working at the counter. Said weasel tells them he doesn't know where their leader is, but Sam spots a conveniently-placed flyer advertising a hate rally at a mosque.

JUST as they get there, with the most convenient timing, one of the guys gets shot. By a sniper! And then in the time it takes Callen and Sam to realize this and cross the street, said sniper managed to grab his gun, go down at 6+ flights of stairs, get into a car, and speed away.

Kensi getting all up the business of disturbing this crime scene, and realizes the shooter is left-handed. Connor isn't. Uh-oh.

The leader of the hate group denies calling the hit on a Muslim, but he hates them regardless. This jerk belongs on FOX News. He says 'there's no such thing as an innocent Muslim'. This episode is setting a record for minor characters I want to slap.

Me, to that guy. 

Deeks is not here to criticize peoples' parenting styles. Callen, however, is here to deliver possibly the sassiest 'mmmmhm' I've ever heard.

Oh, Sassy Callen, I love you so

They find Simmons in and identify themselves just as he has the chance to run away (my dad points out that announcing themselves perhaps when they're closer to him MIGHT be a good idea) Also, considering there were four of them, they could have easily closed him off like they've done many times before. Why all come at him from the same angle?? They trap him in an ally, then he pops out shooting and they hit him easily. Suicide by cop?

They somehow figure out where the next target is - yet another prominent Muslim, he's sniping on the roof and Kensi is counter-sniping him. WHY are Sam and Callen taking the elevator?!! Granger and Sam in her earpieces are like the proverbial devil and angel - Granger telling her to take the shot, Sam telling her to hold on.

Because SOME PEOPLE still have faith in humanity. 

Kensi manages to shoot his gun, and Callen and Sam manage to take him down safely. And the dangerous sniper is returned to the low-security hospital and reunited with his family.

Deeks' new little brother assignment has been changed to a little nerd kid who looks suspiciously like a male version of Hetty - and he's not happy! He knows nothing about German opera! Oh dear! Adventures of Deeks as a babysitter next week, PLEEEASE!! Also Hetty tells Deeks he should get used to handling kids he doesn't have much in common with, because "when he has kids he will never know who he's going to get". FORESHADOWING. SO MUCH FORESHADOWING. Kensi is pregnant and Hetty's the only one who knows.

NCIS: LA - Beacon

Not going to lie, I definitely read the title as 'bacon' when I first saw it. Probably as a result of the bacon I just had for dinner. Nom.

Oh look, Arkady is back! Oh look, he's wrestling with someone. Oh look, an explosion! Oh look.. I'm pretty sure he's dead.

Thank you for the re-enactment, Jon.

Callen is dropping off his lady friend and she's all skeptical about whether he'll actually be around that evening like he says. Makes me wonder what exactly these people do on their days off. Work out? Target practice? Sit around practicing their quipping? She says "I'm still getting used to this". You've had four months lady! Why is this complaining only happening now? Also where the heck have you been for the last four months?!

MISSING: Have you seen this woman? Oh, nevermind. There she is.

Granger doesn't want Kensi and Deeks in the field together. Because they have fun when they're together, and Granger is against that. (Just kidding. It's actually because of that LAPD investigation about him. That hasn't been mentioned for weeks, I'd almost forgotten about that). Hetty says Callen is sad not because Arkady was his friend, but because he was possibly the last link to his father and his family. *Cue the sympathetic tears for the misunderstood orphan hero*

Callen finds a pocketwatch from the KGB on the body, which apparently Arkady always carried with him. He also looks at the burned body and says "There's no way of knowing who this is." THAT'S BULLCRAP. BONES WOULD HAVE IT DONE IN FIVE MINUTES. Actually, Angela would probably scan the head and be like "well various parts of the face burn at different rates so I reverse-burnt them and here's his face."

Not that Angela isn't a genius, but COME ON WHERE IS THE REALITY?!

Apparently Eric has taught Callen that origin stories tend to disappoint. He's not wrong. But Callen likening himself to a superhero is so cheesy... Ugh. Also, apparently Callen has been to Arkady's house a few times. Because "he has a nice pool". Suuuuuuure Callen.

Deeks found some fingerprints and ran through a crime scene scenario. Which Kensi finds pretty hot. I concur, Kensi. Also pretty observant of him. He and Kensi found a deed to a yacht hidden in a frame.

Eric is a little resentful of Deeks and I don't know why... Apparently he's jealous of his hair. But Eric has nice hair too!

Be proud of your hair, Eric. Actually, be proud of your face, too.

He and Nell figure out something smart and then Eric says "I love you!" OH MY GOD. Which obviously was because of how excited he was about her idea, but then he covers it by saying "By that, I mean your mind. Your beautiful, gorgeous mind." AWWWWEEE!!!! And then he makes it creepy/weird again by saying he wants to take some of it home with him and she says that's like a lobotomy and he realizes she's right and I am still squealing internally because THIS IS THE ERIC AND NELL BANTER I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR ALL SEASON!!

I'M SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW!!!

Callen is eating tofu. Voluntarily. That's weird. Apparently it was Joelle's idea. And he actually listened? We finally address the stuff Callen does on his day off, and I was right, it is all work-related stuff. He has no hobbies. And he also sleeps on the floor. What a weirdo.

After Eric has freaked out about the person they discovered in the video footage - we cut to Callen and Sam and Arkady walks up to them all casual and says hi. Which I totally called. Clearly he's alive. It's right in the episode description that a 'murder victim shows up alive and asks for their help.' SHOCKING!

Arkady is funny. He wants bagpipes for his funeral. And the guy in the car is the guy we saw him struggling with at the beginning of the episode, he ended up shooting that guy with his own gun. AND his car was already rigged to explode. What the shit?! Who does that?!! What if he accidentally hit that button on the remote? What if someone rear-ended him?? That is insane.

Arkady is not being helpful, he doesn't want to be in the interview room, he wants coffee, he calls kayaks 'canoes'. But seriously, the boatshed is nice. The Coast Guard finds that the yacht might actually be a cargo ship, because it has a transponder.

Arkady is worried about a random girl who's on his phone, and admits that he set up a deal between American people with ships, and Russians with cargo. Also the guy whose fingerprints were in Arkady's ransacked house was a suspended LAPD officer who now works for the sketchy shipping company. He was the one who Arkady shot and then blew up, but he was working with another guy, also an ex-cop, who they can't find.

Deeks is all sad and sighing and gloomy and Kensi asks him if there's anything bad that IA might find, and he doesn't know how to answer that. Sad Deeks face.

Arkady tells Hetty that's it's 'nice to see her again', and she responds "I wish I could say the same, but my mother raised me not to tell lies."

Haha so witty Hetty. Although that in itself was a lie, because she lies all the time. PARADOX ALERT!

The ship was full of oil. 100 million dollars' worth of oil, to be exact. HOLY SHIT. Damn oil. Apparently that's enough to start a war. No kidding.

I'm sorry, did someone say 'oil'?

The sketchy siblings who own the sketchy shipping company are stereotypically sketchy to the max. And the bad cop who Kensi and Deeks were tailing is on his way to meet them. For some more sketchy dealings, no doubt. Turns out the bad guy is not the one who they were looking for, he's dead and in the trunk of his own car. But they go into the stairway so naturally that concrete interrupts their radio and Callen and Sam can't hear them. Somehow yelling 'gun' and causing mass panic lets all the civilians know who the BAD guy with the gun is... No one ducks and runs from Sam. He didn't even try to shoot Arkady, he just shoots the shipping company owners. And then Sam shoots him. He was a Russian contract killer.

Callen returns the pocketwatch to Arkady and they exchange Russian phrases. Yaaaay symbolic gestures! And Arkady calls Callen 'my friend' as he leaves, so THEY TOTALLY ARE FRIENDS.

Hetty has a feeling that 'the day is not yet over'. And Nell says that the tanker is not where it's supposed to be. So now Hetty wants to talk to Arkady again, but that's gonna be easier said than done.

I really wish there'd been more resolution to the Nell/Eric awkward cuteness, but hey, those few scenes we had with them were a lot more than we've had in recent weeks. I'll take it!
Also, someone give Deeks a hug.

Bones - The Teacher in the Books

Hey there TV fans, I've had exams and other crap over the past few weeks so I've fallen WAAAAAY behind on my blogs... But not to worry! Exams are now done, so I'll be catching up on Bones and BBT in the next few days! Just bear with me! Yay!

Aluminum is a waste when scrapping. Good to know. In case I plan on scrapping in the near future.
Maybe this is because I'm a bookworm, but abandoned libraries and bookstores always make me sad... Such a waste.

I mean... Look at all the lonely books... *Sobs into a pillow* 

Bones' publisher wants her to get Twitter and I find this concept hilarious. I mean at least let her start out with Facebook first... Hodgins and Cam are with me on the love of books. Aubrey mocks Hodgins' love of book-sniffing and I'm deeply disappointed. But he redeems himself by being afraid of a poisonous spider. How cute.

Angela's new magic software can map out someone's face based on their moles and freckles and such?? I call MASSIVE bullshit because 1) people use makeup to cover moles and such sometimes in photos, and also 2) with decomposition the SKIN MOVES so the measurements are different... Jeez.

The victim was a teacher (who knew?) and she was working with a group who taught in dangerous neighbourhoods. This is a cause close to Caroline's heart, she warns Booth about not letting it make the school look bad, because she is on their board of directors and doesn't want to see them closed because of some violence.

Caroline has a soft spot for something other than Booth! Who knew??

Aubrey has just caught up on Dr. Brennan's books, and mocks Booth's counterpart for not sleeping with Brennan's counterpart until the third book, because 'James Bond wouldn't have waited that long'. Well that is because James Bond was a scoundrel...

Touche. Moving on... 

He also says people are 'already talking about it on Twitter' but apparently the writers don't understand that people would've been talking about the books once they came out - they wouldn't wait for the author to get on Twitter herself. Is everyone as far behind as Aubrey?

For those of you who were wondering how many high school students it takes to lift a Smartcar - Apparently the answer is about 20. THIS SCHOOL IS NICER THAN MY UNIVERSITY, I CALL BULLSHIT ON IT BEING IN A ROUGH NEIGHBOURHOOD. Also the guy who worked with the victim - the actor has gone from being a high school student on Pretty Little Liars to being a high school teacher in less than a year. How old is this dude?

Caroline is laying down the law on these tough students who are talking shit while being interviewed. Have I mentioned I love Caroline?

Caroline does not have time for these shenanigans.

She thinks Aubrey is 'Sweet. Stupid, but sweet.' He does not disagree.

Bones isn't doing well on Twitter. She only has 10 followers - and hey, that's in like a day, it took me MONTHS to amass that many. Then again, she's a bestselling author and I was a random high school student at the time...

GAH YOU WRITERS ACTUALLY HAVE TWITTER, YOU KNOW HOW IT WORKS - JESSICA COULDN'T HAVE RETWEETED BRENNAN FROM HER OWN ACCOUNT ON BRENNAN'S PHONE!!! And now Brennan knows how to selfie. She's more popular than me. Damnit. (Psst shameless plug, go follow me www.twitter.com/emmycsi )

Aubrey can selfie. He should've shown Brennan.

Also I don't think it's legal/ethical for high school teachers to communicate with students on social media. #Sketchy (Although I now have one of my former HS teachers on Facebook, and I follow my physics prof on Twitter). Aubrey, don't call Caroline a dinosaur. That will not end well for you.

HOW CAN YOU RESIST THAT PRECIOUS FACE?!!! 

She's stone cold, that's how. Starting to think I need a collection of Caroline reaction GIFs... 

Cam dropping truth bombs - "Being a teacher takes a lot of time, their day doesn't end when school lets out!" As the daughter of a teacher, I know this. Turns out the victim's boyfriend was cheating. Aubrey's hitting him where it hurts - saying he knows he's shorter than he claims to be online. Also is the 'Get Lost Hotline' actually a thing? If not, it should be. 'Tis brilliant.

Angela tells Jessica to stop enabling Brennan's Twitter habit. And I'm just surprised, with the length of some scientific papers' titles, that they'd fit in 140 characters. The older brother from the earlier interview owned the knife that hurt the victim's hand - he claims she cut herself to blackmail him to keep his little brother in school. I'm surprised that a cut on the hand would leave a mark on the phalanges, but then again - this is Bones.

OK so now they get the answers based on an eraser? Like ONE specific eraser? And based on the Smartcar? Ouch. Rough day for that little car. Because the other teacher was the one who did it - and the one who drove the Smartcar. He was also the second person they interviewed! Aha! He faked some tests to get himself a better job, she caught him and they fought.

This totally looks like a car a murderer would drive.
I dare NCIS:LA to change up their criminals' cars just once. 

And Caroline is now taking those brothers under her wing - this is adorable! They're tough, but she's tougher!

Pictured: total badassery. 

I hope they bring these brothers back later on! She insists on feeding them at the diner, even when they say they're full, she waves over the waitress, and I called it - she orders them some pie. PIE! PIE IS THE BEST!

Apparently Brennan is emoticon-type material (smiley face, wink wink) and she is sitting at the counter with her tablet so engrossed that she didn't even notice Booth was cooking RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER. Oh my god, this reminds me of my mom ever since she got her new phone... LET THIS BE A WARNING. DO NOT GIVE PARENTS MOBILE DEVICES. YOU WILL REGRET IT.

NCIS: LA - Blaze of Glory

Second new episode in as many weeks? You're being too good to us, CBS. We're not worthy. (Especially me because I have two essays due in the next week and I haven't started either of them... Oops)

'A course deviation anomaly' sounds like a REALLY BAD THING. There's a missile that is launched and then not responding to the controls. It blows up a boat. Explosion within the first 30 seconds is always a good start to an episode. Although I like to think that's what you get for being so excited about missiles...

Deeks buys all his holiday stuff several days after the holidays (me too buddy, me too. Although I just buy post-Valentine's Day chocolate to comfort myself about being alone). Eric's Irish accent is amazing.

Though let's be honest, all of Eric is pretty amazing,

"No time to lose, Callen." Um, Hetty? You're aware there are six other people in that room? Is this a code, or do you just trust the rest of them to not lose time?

Turns out there were drugs on the boat - out of the whole boat, they only find 2 tarps-full of remains, but there manages to be a significant piece of evidence of criminal activity?!! I CALL STATISTICAL ANOMALY!!!

Somebody got invited to a fake event, and that set them up for something unpleasant.

Overheard while arranging the boat wreckage to get the serial number:
Sam: "G's in the wrong place"
Callen: "Where do you want me?"
Sam: "Not you, the letter." *smirks*
See, this is the problem when your first name is just an initial. *Ahem* LL Cool J *AHEM*

So the guy who owned the boat is alive, and a dentist. And Eric is eating?!!! IN OPS?!!! ST. PATRICK'S GREEN M&Ms?!!!! THE HORROR!!!!
I might be the only one to make this connection, but I was still reminded of this video:

Apparently the dentist's teenage son has been living on the boat (must be nice), but he's safe too. He says his old roommate was crazy and hated him and also was a hacker. Then the kid cracks a joke about 'needing hazmat suits' before they investigate the roommate's room. Which, yeah, actually, you should have a coverall suit before entering any potential crime scene...

Callen and Sam, tailing a suspect, get pulled over by some police officers - and Callen's immediate reaction is 'not again' hahaha I guess that happens far too often.

Deeks compares Kensi's room to that of the extremely messy college student. The kid's laptop literally blows up Kensi's flash drive - yeah I'm thinking he's good with computers.

Someone really young and smart and very blonde has higher clearance than Nell, and Eric likes her and Nell is SUPER JEALOUS. Her name is Blaze, because she was 'conceived at a Bon Jovi concert' and Deeks goes 'been there' and EXCUSE ME Deeks, I think I need some context to that remark... Also she said 'porn' and Eric kinda stammered at it. Also, Blaze is played by Becca Tobin a.k.a. Kitty from Glee and this genius girl is like the polar opposite of Kitty. (Aside from the face.)
ALSO OOOOOHHHH I SEE WHAT THEY DID WITH THE TITLE THERE

"We're going uup-UUUUP IN A GLAZE OF BLORY!!! We have switched the G of Glory with the B of Bla-ay-ay-aze!"

This just in, Sam is afraid of clowns. And all clown-related puppetry. And I super don't approve of Callen telling that Malee girl that some guy being creepy, stealing her phone, texting himself so he'd have her number, and doing shit she didn't like is 'maybe he's just flirting with you'. NO CALLEN!! BAD CALLEN THAT IS HARASSMENT YOU DO NOT TELL HER THAT THAT'S ALRIGHT BEHAVIOUR. BAD CALLEN.

I'm really not impressed with you right now, Callen. Aren't you supposed to be a good guy?

Eric refers to Blaze as 'like a little sister', 'not his type' (Nell approves of this, clearly he likes the redheads!) and he says he's just 'educating her'. Then he hugs her and Deeks goes 'yeah that's real educational'. Nell agreed. I love sassy Nell. Her jealousy is feeding my Nellric starvation.

So Blaze and Josh (the hacker guy) go to play chess on the pier, and Kensi and Deeks show up and pretend to be a bickering couple (Canadian couple? He called soda 'pop'). Then her backpack gets stolen.

"I can't feel my spleen!" Best fake Deeks injury ever. 

Couldn't find a proper GIF, but all I could think of was Cosmo going 'Ah! My spleen!'

But wouldn't the suspect recognize them as that same couple from the pier? They stop the Josh guy attacking Blaze (because he caught her talking on her earpiece) and then she kicked him in the nards. YOU GO GIRL!!

HOLY SHIT that Josh bastard attempted to DRUG AND RAPE MALEE?!!! SEE?!!! CALLEN YOU BASTARD YOU OWE HER AN APOLOGY!!! IN REAL LIFE THAT KIND OF HARASSMENT COULD TOTALLY ESCALATE TO A SEXUAL ASSAULT!!!

Aaaand apparently she was lying about the whole thing (including her identity) so she could date Wyatt (that's the dentist's son) so that she could steal some kind of software he'd written. AND NOOOO she killed the dentist!! Which is really freaking sad because we learned at the beginning of the episode that Wyatt's mother had died fairly recently. What is with this heartless show turning kids into orphans?!!

Also Blaze has disappeared. Not good. They let this defenseless 18ish-year-old drive around town on her own?!! On a freaking VESPA?!! Come on, that's some sloppy work.

Oh hey Granger, nice to see you in a whole SECOND scene of this episode.. Lots of running, Blaze is a hostage, more running, another hostage, there was an error in uploading the software, so it's not dangerous anymore. Sam, Y U NO shoot her, instead of running up behind her and then say 'drop the gun!' Oh well, she's dead anyway and the software is safe. *Whew*

Eric is passing up on ice cream to go meet Blaze and some of her friends. So he can 'mentor' them. WE SEE RIGHT THROUGH YOU, BEALE!!! Poor Nell gets sad and goes back to Ops - where he then shows up to surprise her! Awwe! Turns out Blaze is going to Quantico. And she thought Eric could be friends with her dad. Awks. So he apologizes to Nell and she just giggles. She lets him fly the drone she's programmed. Now if that's not a sign of trust, I don't know what it. And I don't know if this whole 'control' thing is a metaphor for their relationship or what, but I don't want to know what happens if that thing hits the ceiling. Aaaand he crashed it. AND THEY DIDN'T KISS! But she kinda propped her head on his shoulder, so I guess that was cute too. Nerd love is the best love.

SEE WRITERS?!! THIS IS A GOOD AMOUNT OF NELLRIC INTERACTION PER EPISODE. MORE OF THIS PLEASE!!!

However can we please touch on that slimy bit of writing where the potential rape victim was lying about it the whole time?! And where Callen didn't for one second apologize, or feel an ounce of remorse for going 'oh he was probably just flirting'?!! CREEPY INAPPROPRIATENESS IS CREEPY AND INAPPROPRIATE NO MATTER THE CONTEXT CALLEN, DAMNIT.
Learn from my favourite dead shrink:

And that goes for harassment too.

Wait a second, we still don't know who the hell was on that boat, do we? Or was I just not paying enough attention... Sometimes that happens.