NCIS: Los Angeles - Matryoshka, Part 2

I am a bad fan.

I had a lot of assignment-y-type things due on Tuesdays through February, and as a result I would procrastinate and be doing them at the last minute. So I kept missing NCIS: LA. And then, when I got behind, I was just like 'ehhh I'm too tired to blog about it and catch up.' Bad. Shame on me.

So I'm gonna attempt to marathon all the things and catch up and yeah. (Even though I have a class presentation tomorrow, and one the day after that, and an assignment due the day after THAT.)

Anna is flirting with some dudes in Russian, in a bar. And then when she switches to English, she no longer sounds Russian. As per usual.

She lures one of the guys outside and then pushes him into a van, which just so happens to contain Sam. Hey this prison guard guy they kidnapped looks slightly like San Francisco Giants catcher Buster Posey! I'm gonna call him Russian Buster from here on out.

Real Buster has nicer hair, though. 

Everyone back at Ops (except Granger and Hetty) are super-worried about the risks being taken by Callen and Sam in Russia. Granger's all 'meh who cares if they die they die' and Hetty's like 'my team is invincible, what are you talking about'.

Someone sneaks up on Anna and she whips out her gun, but it's just a Hetty iPad attatched to a Segway.  Which is totally necessary. You know, she couldn't just use a phone or something. or Skype. Hetty would never use such a plebian method of communication.

I'm inclined to point out that Sheldon did it first. And better. 

Anna refuses to refer to Arkady as her dad. Oh good! She has daddy issues! Something else for her and Callen to bond over!!

Back at Ops, Eric and Nell run some simulations of the plan, and Nell delivers some badass wisdom on Granger when he says 'life isn't a video game'. Cos "In a video game, you get to start over."
Hey Granger, when have you ever played a video game?? They're fun. You hate fun.

For some reason, Anna is wearing a blanket, over her regular clothing to sleep - and then she falls asleep on Callen's shoulder like two sentences in to his description of the plan?? How ridiculously contrived is that?

For some reason there's some sketchy guy they need to investigate, and Granger decides to send Eric out in the field. ERIC?! And how dare you, sir, tell him to put on pants! He's clearly allergic to fabric beyond knee-length!

HAHAHA WE GOT ERIC FLEXING AND WEARING COMBAT PANTS AND OH MY GOD

Anna asks Callen what he 'thinks of her'. And he gives the only correct response - "That's... kind of a... broad question." Blah blah blaaah, bonding over absentee fathers, yadda yadda 'maybe broken is normal'... Gag me with a spoon.

The guy Deeks and Kensi were going to talk to does indeed start shooting, and Eric freezes up, but then he plays the hero, pulling out a flashbang that dazes the guy long enough for Deeks to shoot him. The others are impressed with his strategy, meanwhile I'm impressed with his aim! I think I kinda like Badass Beale.

Oh my god, they block the transport carrying Arkady and the CIA guy with a COW hahaha that's definitely something I've never seen before.

Nell is really proud of Eric for what he did earlier - and he looks at her with super-honest eyes and says he was scared that he - DAMNIT GRANGER YOU HAVE THE WORST TIMING, THEY WERE HAVING A MOMENT HERE!!!!

Granger, interrupting ALL your personal conversations.

They can't get out of Russia because the CIA guy is hurt so that would attract suspicion. He says he knew Callen way back in the day. He gets them to a safe house (which has a weirdly cryptic walkie talkie on the side of the road that claims to have an IED planted under it if he doesn't give the password. There's an old man at the house who has a meaningful look at Callen.

Callen finds a bunch of nesting dolls at the house, and one of those coins that his father had handed out to refugees in an earlier episode.

They have no choice but to leave on horseback, which Arkady is none too pleased about.

Callen and the old guy have a deep conversation without saying much at all. And then they get interrupted by the folks who are there to help them escape. DANGNABBIT! What's with all the interruptions?!! He says "I'll tell you another time". But you won't see him again!

HOLY CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!!!!!!

CALLEN HAS A FIRST NAME

IT'S GRISHA

AND HE HAS SOME MIDDLE NAMES TOO

You know, I'm not gonna lie, it's not the kind of name I would have expected for him. I was expecting something tough, like Gregor or Gabriel or Gryffindor.

But Callen will be Callen and he will be a badass no matter what his name is. I'm just so glad he knows! (But really, wouldn't that reveal have been best saved for like, a season finale or something?? I mean it's the ONE big mystery this show's had since Day One...)

NCIS: LA - Forest for the Trees

Hello everyone!!! I am super tired because I wrote a 1,200 word essay over the weekend, and then wrote a misterm today, on 4 hours of sleep. What'd y'all do today?
I'm in desperate need of a nap...

Firstly, let me say I love the title of this episode. I love the phrase that title comes from. I love this show. I love everything. But maybe that's just the caffeine talking.

Sam and Callen are meeting some dude in a sketchy truck at the side of the road in the middle of nowhere ("Why do they never want to meet at Starbucks?" Callen asks) and then *poof* some smoke comes out from underneath the truck and it somehow blinds and/or deafens them and down they fall...


Deeks paid eighteen dollars for his lunch. I know everything is expensive in LA, but sheesh... Suddenly amongst the cute bickering over whether or not he can actually cook, he and Kensi notice that Callen and Sam are missing.

Granger finds out that he wasn't invited to the Christmas party. Know why? BECAUSE GRANGER ALWAYS RUINS THE FUN!!!

See, this looks like fun! And Granger is conspicuously absent...

Sam and Callen wake up from taking a nap on a dirt floor.  About time, boys, you need to escape! But seriously, how many times this season can the two of them be taken hostage/trapped somewhere?? First the submarine, then in Mexico... Other than Eric in the mole episode, nobody else has taken a turn. Oh, and I guess Callen in that office building episode - then Kensi and Deeks voluntarily made themselves hostages. But that's not the same.


Eric has problems staying on topic when he's worried. Me too, buddy. Also, this show has finally caught up to the real-world terrorist problems, and they're talking about ISIS.


Callen and Sam manage to open an escape hatch out of their prison, and after some quality married-couple-type banter, Callen needs to go get the screwdriver.

Turns out nobody tried to steal Sam's super-nice car after they were kidnapped, so Kensi and Deeks manage to easily find the location and the crucial evidence. Did the kidnappers lock up the car afterwards? What nice kidnappers.

Hetty and Granger have one of those tense conversations where she puts her people first and he puts the operation first, she says "I'm one step ahead of you Owen" and he goes "You always are, Henrietta." and she smiles like 'you know that's right'. Then he mentions that he might actually have feelings, and everyone at home does a collective *gasp*.

"I'm as concerned about them as you are. But my tone of voice will not change at all to reflect this."

Meanwhile, back at the ranch... Sam and Callen are walking around outside and they're in a forest. They see a fence and say 'it's too easy' and I called it - ELECTRIC FENCE!! Then a random handsome guy in a suit shows up behind them and yells 'don't move or you'll be dead'. AAH!
Not to worry, he's actually a GOOD handsome guy who (from 20 feet away) managed to spot that Callen stopped conveniently JUST brushing up against a tripwire. He's the missing NSA agent they were supposed to be getting info about - but he didn't go missing until that very morning. While on a Starbucks run.

This episode brought to you by Starbucks.
Starbucks: The best place to meet up with sources and/or get kidnapped.

Deeks and Kensi go to a trailer of a drug/weapons dealer or something purporting to be a 'management solutions' business, and Deeks starts quizzing the guy about importing fiddleheads and such. Then the guy runs and poor Deeks is forced to dive into some water that 'looks cold' to catch him. 

You'd think a surfer like Deeks would be more graceful with water... This reminds me of that scene from City Slickers where Billy Crystal has to rescue that cow.

Ops gets the information in on the NSA agent who was abducted - AND IT'S NOT THE SAME GUY FROM THE FOREST!!! UH OH!!!  Then Deeks and Kensi threaten to take the drug/weapon whatever guy into the middle of the sketchy part of town and loudly thank him for snitching to them. Which is a pretty genius plan if you think about it. Also allows for optimal sarcasm.

Still walking through the forest, then the handsome fake-NSA guy says 'Sorry guys nature calls' and he walks off into the forest. With a smile. And then they cut to commercial. Because that's not ominous at all... And then Sam just kinda follows him, clearly thinking something's up, and we notice that he's got a gun stashed in a tree trunk but can't grab it with Sam watching. Seriously dude? Peeing? That was your plan? Dudes pee next to other dudes all the time, if you weren't up to no good, you would have just picked a tree and told the other two to turn their backs!!

Callen and Sam find a crappy rundown building with the circuit breaker for the fence, and then Sam finds the REAL NSA agent tied up and bloody in the back room.

Deeks and Kensi are undercover at a restaurant where Granger is meeting some double-agent guy. The cooking sucks. Shocking.

Why did the bad guy let Sam go into that room where the real NSA guy was? Where the hell did Callen find that gun?? And why would he have told the NSA guy where the meeting was taken place? Even if they did trust him, why did he need to know where it was?? Why does it take 6 bad guys to storm a teeny restaurant to kill 2 guys?? There is so much logic missing here... BUT OHHH MAN they gave him the ole switcheroo - told him the wrong location for the meeting, so the ISIS agents that show up at the fake one were surrounded and gunned down, thank god. Granger and the informant and Kensi and Deeks are all safe.

Sam is a genius - instead of running after the fake guy when he took off, he runs back into the building and flips ON the electric fence, so he runs into it and explodes.
Apparently the bad guys left Sam and Callen's guns and phones just lying around in the building, and the fake guy didn't even move to stop them. And in the amount of time they were in the building, Callen texted the fake meeting location, they cleared the building AND set up the agents to swoop in? Playing it fast and loose with timing there, but ookaaaay...

Granger likes Deek's nachos. Everyone else lied about liking them, to be polite 'because it was Christmas' but now it's February and you can all be mean? Aww. I'm not sure who I feel bad for - Deeks because he can't cook, or Granger because everyone's laughing and he's not in on the joke.

OK we got a little more screentime for Eric and Nell this week, but over the last couple episodes were seriously lacking in Nellric banter. I NEED MORE NERD LOVE!!!

NCIS: LA - Black Wind

Some dudes didn't stop at a border checkpoint, one of them ran away and the other one is 'bleeding' from the nose... Green. Green blood. Didn't CSI do an episode about green blood??

Deeks is going all environmentally-friendly. And not letting them flush their pee. I'm with Callen, that's hella unsanitary. He got stabbed in the butt by a cactus. And no one will help him remove it.

Apparently it's something to do with anthrax. Uh-oh. Hetty has also surfed every corner of Mexico.

Hetty is not impressed by your beach-bum ways, Deeks!!

Marty shouted 'Morgan Freeman' when Kensi pulled the cactus out of him. I'm not sure whether that was a reference to the 40-Year-Old Virgin chest-waxing 'Kelly Clarkson!' thing, or....

Maybe Deeks was just taking the name of the Lord in vain?

5L of anthrax is enough to take out most of southern California. Does that scare anyone else? Scares the hell out of me... Although I don't live in California, so I think I'm safe.

Callen and Sam go to meet with Agent Fuentes, who I thought was the dude from their first Mexican adventure, but apparently not.. Because it's a girl. Who kinda looks like Cecily Strong.

I think Mexico brings out Sam's inner calculator - as he and Callen bond over knowing the exact tax percentage on something.

Then they start arguing (rather adorably) about the proper way to cook something. Some sketchy police officer comes along and tries to bribe them into 'renewing their license' until some construction guy who also conveniently works on the health department steps in. And he tells them they should 'pay for some protection'. That doesn't sound creepy at all... BUT THAT'S OK BECAUSE HE'S THIS GUY:

How about a member of a gang? Do they call you that?

Kensi and Deeks (who I'm pretty sure are wearing matching couple outfits) find the driver of the truck from the beginning, the passenger was his son. He shoves some pipes onto them and Deeks gets grass stains catching him (poor baby) and then proceeds to ask him a bunch of plumbing questions.

This is not the first time Eric has magically been able to find people, but how the hell does he know that one dude eats lunch at the same place every day? Said dude is a scientist who works with pesticides. He tells Sam and Callen that you do not 'congregate with groups of Americans'. Well ok then.

Apparently there's a tunnel that's used for drug smuggling, which is how the father and son at the beginning got into the country. Deeks cracks wise and Granger gives him a blank face.

Callen and Sam go to move their truck - and then the truck won't stop moving. They try putting it in neutral, turning off the ignition, everything - EXCEPT FOR THE DAMN EMERGENCY BRAKE WHICH CALLEN ONLY USES AT THE VERY LAST SECOND. Like c'mon guys, that would have been my first instinct. I'm just confused about how you can disconnect the ignition so it turns the car on, but then the car continues running even when you try to shut it off.. But oh well, I never claimed to be a mechanic.

They get into the tunnel and someone shuts off the power and then starts shooting at them. The father gets hit, then refuses to go to the hospital (where his son is, isn't that counter-intuitive?!) Then we're treated to a rare moment of Granger sass - Deeks tells him 'control the bleeding!' and he retorts with 'control the shooter!'

Not bad. But we all know who the sassiest Granger of them all is...

Granger also tells them not to do anything stupid, which they take to mean 'go on ahead and attempt to shut down a factory full of ANTHRAX and who knows how many armed dudes on your own'. Ugh. They also find the body of the taxi driver that was working with Agent  Fuentes - although they'd have no way of knowing who he is. As soon as she finds out, she feels all guilty, and then 'the show must go on' and Kensi & Deeks show up and they do the whole 'split up and search for clues' thing.

O-ho, the 'no congregating with Americans' guy is dead. Raise your hands if you saw that coming.

CHILDREN!! I told you to stop watching this show!! Isn't it past your bedtime?!!

Kensi and Deeks get safely to the family of the anthrax victim, and even though the little boy is scared, Deeks bonds with him over Mighty Mouse.

Cartoons are the perfect way to calm down a scared child right before they're attacked.

But then Eric and Nell call to say that the scientist guy just crossed the border - a little odd because they're looking at his body. Apparently his car had some kind of special clearance with the border, because that's not a glaring hole in national security. With the touch of a button, Eric Photoshops the fake facial hair off photo of the guy crossing the border, and...

DAMMNIT ESTEBAN!!!!

And I'm confused, aren't dangerous drug-smuggling Mexicans dangerous enough? Why do they have to be linked to middle-Eastern terrorists as well?? And why did this dude not use the readily-available smuggling tunnel to smuggle the anthrax?? Why risk being caught with it at the border??

"I only have two left" - Oh sure, NOW Callen's gun has a limited supply of bullets...

Callen can count! Archer would be proud!

CALLEN AND SAM JUST MADE A GHOSTBUSTERS REFERENCE YOU GUYS LIKE A LONG ONE AND IT WAS REALLY OBVIOUS AND I AM SO FREAKING PROUD OF THIS SHOW!!!!

*SOB* Weird timing, too, because I watched Groundhog Day today.

Then Homeland Security arrives and is mean and takes away the grandfather and everyone's all sad and the little boy yells and Deeks that he's 'supposed to be the good guys'. Oops. No amount of retro animation is gonna fix this one.

But good-guy Granger to the rescue!! And so Deeks hugs him. Awwwe. Plus the cactus blooms, which is.. important, I guess?

BTW, my reference game is on FIRE today. 3 TV shows and 5 movies. *self-five*

NCIS:LA - In the Line of Duty

An embassy is attacked, and the terrorists waste roughly ten seconds shooting into the air as a warning before they actually aim at any people. The ambassador (guest star Julie Chen!) managed to escape, but her head of security was killed (Sam happened to know that guy, of course).

I recognize the guy they're talking to, probably he's one of those random actors who plays a cop on every crime show. Anyway...

Sam and Callen go to Tunisia to investigate - sans backup, because that's how they roll - and Kensi and Deeks go to talk to a really angry bald guy who, for some reason, thinks Deeks thinks terrorists might possibly be 'excusable'.. um, what?! Do you know what this guy does for a living?! Of course he doesn't think that, you daft imbecile!!

Or - as Max Brennan would say, 'bombastic twit'! 

Let's show these bad guys smoking so they look even more like assholes. Sam and Callen need night vision goggles even though there's enough light in that room for us to pretty clearly see what they're doing. The bodies of the murdered security agents were left in the room where they were killed. So now Sam and Callen go all CSI on us.

Even though nobody saw them when they came in, the terrorists somehow became aware of their presence and alerted the other guards, came in firing - and apparently Eric, Nell, Hetty and Granger are just standing around to talk Callen and Sam through their mission. Couldn't Hetty be doing something more useful? Some kind of plotting?? And Granger could be off spoiling someone's fun??

Now they have a giant 3D printer thingy that they've set up in the gym, to print out an exact replica of the crime scene. This is cool and all, but what exactly is the shape of things going to tell them? If they can't see the colours or whatever, they can't really tell what everything is..

And I'm still confused about how Callen said they needed to get the dead guys' bodies home.. And then they just LEFT THEM THERE!!! If that's a priority, this is why you don't send just 2 guys in, and then have the bad guys discover those two guys, and shoot up the room (and presumably the victims) further...

But that's none of my business...

Kensi and Deeks storm into the angry bald guys' office because they find out he lied to them about the last time he saw the victim. Apparently information being 'above your pay grade' and 'above your security clearance' are different things. Who knew?

There's no blood pool, no entrance or exit wounds on the bodies. SUSPICIOUS!!! Somehow this leads them to think they were killed by smoke inhalation.

No blood? Shame, we won't have to call in Finn.

Kensi and Deeks just so happen to be leaving the office when some random sketchy guys show up and are clearly trying to shoot up the building. They are thwarted. And I don't know about you, but I always carry bundles of money around with me in my bulky briefcase with my gun...

Eric does his best Shamwow guy impression and 'but-wait-there's-more' throws in extra information on those guys that Kensi and Deeks killed/scared off. I dunno about you, but I would buy anything he tried to sell me.

Although, nobody does it like the King.

Turns out the bad guys from the shooting are probably going to try to kill the ambassador because she's in town to attend the funeral of one of the guys killed.

ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT SCANNER THINGY PICKED UP A FULLY DETAILED SHOE PRINT?!! I CALL BULLSHIT!!! Also, Eric and Callen are both surprised by the ability of the printer, I'm surprised neither of them (especially tech geek Eric) have never seen it at work before.

Deeks and Kensi have a retro-off, even though they're the same age. Deeks tells the random consultant guy that he'll come to love the 'adorable partner banter' hahaha. Turns out the CIA is related to something happening in Tunisia - code name 'dogleg'.

Granger asks Hetty if she hasn't gotten sick of drinking tea all the time. RUDE! 'All the tannins are going to turn her into suede' he says, and my mind goes here

Must be said in one's best Jason Segel voice.

Instead of using Eric's fancy software, they have Sam do an old-fashioned tally count (come on, there were more pictures than that) through all the terrorist's surveillance photos, and they realize the dead guy Sam knew was the actual target, not the ambassador. And they were trying to kidnap him, not kill him, in Tunisia. Well that went well. Aaaand now they're after the angry bald guy, because he was the boss of the security guy, and therefore knew all about the Dogleg operation.

Various things compromising various top-secret things, the angry bald guy has been kidnapped, and we can eliminate anyone wearing flip-flops or clogs because Kensi found a boot print matching the one from the Tunisian crime scene. 'Mockery' is Deeks' middle name!

Marty Mockery Deeks sounds like a nursery rhyme.

Going through the main gate is too obvious, so the terrorists will not be expecting it! They literally used a BLOWTORCH to open the gate, while the bad guys stood patiently on the other side waiting to shoot whoever was coming through. THEY ACTUALLY USED RAPPELLING ROPES OK THAT WAS COOL! Even though they were just going over a hedge.

Slightly more entertaining than this movie.

They had a whole staircase-on wheels for Sam and Callen to get to the top of the hedge, but Deeks is dainty so he can just use a ladder. 

Although they could have just asked the Bluths to borrow this.

For some reason, the kidnapped guy was really happy to get Callen's praise, even though he'd already demonstrated he did not respect NCIS, like, at all. Weird. 

Deeks really wants a Hetty bobblehead. I smell a CBS merchandising opportunity... I would buy the crap out of that. Especially if they made it talk and she said 'oh bugger'. And was holding a cup of tea. YES. GET ON THAT GUYS!!!

NCIS: LA - Spiral

Sorry for the late post, I had a MASSIVE headache last night and wanted to get to bed early (of course, this did not happen).

Callen's undercover as a mailman and the evil boss guy is onto him and suddenly threatening him - and suddenly there's a hostage situation in the office building. Well that timing was convenient (for Callen anyway). The boss asshole decides to try and negotiate with the hostage-takers and they kill him. Well, duh. Raise your hand if you saw that one coming.

Good job, children! Although this might be too violent for you... Go watch Spongebob.

Meanwhile Kensi is meditating (in her jeans...) and Deeks is messing with her. So she takes him down with one hand, without even looking. The terrorists are demanding the release of prisoners in Guantanamo Bay. An office building seems a really random target for such a thing. Especially  on a Saturday. Then again, so did that cafe in Australia... That was really scary stuff. And this was filmed before that even happened, which is a messed-up coincidence - these terrorists are hanging jihadist flags on the walls too, but Callen notices 'half of them are upside-down'. Brilliant!

The security guard for the building gets the crap kicked out of him by one of the terrorists because he stepped in to protect the stereotypical hysterical woman who won't stop sobbing. Callen, and a doctor-lady who he asks to help him, thinks that the guard has a broken rib. Said security guard is played by none other than Patrick Gallagher, a.k.a. the former Coach Ken Tanaka from Glee. 

I guess now we know why he was always on that cart.

Kensi, Deeks and Sam attack some of the terrorists outside the building (they're apparently not communicating with the ones inside, so they don't even know anything's happening?) and they discover that the whole thing is rigged to blow up in the event of an attempted rescue (in which case I really call bullshit on them not having some kind of walkie-talkie action happening with the people upstairs).

OK so the bad guys upstairs did find out somehow, and Callen just keeps walking around without them seeing him. Although he's watching hunched over, so I guess it's like *sneak* mode in Skyrim and he's invisible.

I miss Skyrim logic.

When looking through the dead arms dealer's credit card records, they find out he shopped at a lingerie store, which causes Eric to say the word 'panties' which causes Nell (and me) to look at him funny.  Then they discuss underwear and she gets all flirty and breathy and he starts talking really fast. HAHAHAHA I love it when Nell has the upper hand. Let's face it, she ALWAYS has the upper hand.

Who remembers this?! This was adorable!

Kensi and Deeks also do sneak mode and join the hostages, although apparently no one notices 'hey, those two weren't there before'. Or is watching the stairwell they snuck up. Must've failed hostage taking 101. And then some guy comes in and puts on a bomb-vest with a dead-man switch (one of the ones that will cause a detonation if the person lets go).

The only guy who's not wearing his mask suddenly decides to hit one of the other terrorists and point his gun at another one. That'll make them respect your leadership. They found the doctor-lady trying to sneak away, and decide to bring her to the head honcho rather than just killing her. This gives Callen time to play hero, and Sam bursts in at just the right time and kills a bunch of the terrorists (but the head guy gets away and no one hears the shots and comes running). Doctor-lady gets away too. Then the team figure out that the hostage-taking wasn't just a random building, but they were specifically targeting the arms dealer that Callen was following. Deeks forgets the important part from earlier - that thing about them blocking all cell service - and decides to take pictures of the bomb - WHICH NO ONE NOTICES! Are those masks obstructing their vision or something?Then he ducks out down the stairs again - come on...

Apparently the arms dealer was very specific about renting the office on that specific floor of that specific building. That's not suspicious or anything... Nell apparently forgets the no-cell-service thing too, and tries to call Callen and Sam, then acts disappointed when she can't reach them. And she wouldn't even know that Sam had located Callen by that point! Unless she's omnipotent. Which is entirely possible.

Well we know Hetty is all-knowing, and she's taking Nell on as her special project...

Deeks is still struggling with the same problem, so he shoots out a window (WHICH NO ONE HEARS?!) and hangs out of the building with his phone. Considering how afraid of heights I am, this part made me all shaky. But it was funny when he said 'That's a terrible idea, let's do that'. I think it's his new catchphrase. His own version of 'Imma risk it'.

Pictured: My worst nightmare. (Not ECO, of course. He's a good dream)

The security guard used to be a police officer, he figures out Kensi is law enforcement, and offers to help her. Sam leaves his phone on the floor, with a timer, to ring and lure in the confused terrorists - GENIUS!! Then he pops out of an open elevator and chucks one of them down the shaft. One of the hostage takers is Irish? And that's significant? Before he dies he says that 'this wasn't supposed to happen'. Conveniently, they manage to get through to Sam, and then Deeks (albeit fuzzily).

Then two of the terrorists come into the room, don't see Deeks, have some kind of vague argument, take off their masks and leave. Not sure of the point of that. But Nell manages to send Deeks instructions on disarming the bomb. Cos she's awesome.

Callen and Sam find the pharmaceutical lab that the arms dealer was targeting, and the doctor-lady is there too. She tells them that she'd worked at the lab and they'd developed a vaccine that has a problem and then became some kind of bioweapon - code name Spiral. I know I've been watching too many CinemaSins videos, but...

Roll credits!

The hostage-takers were former IRA members. Deeks apparently failed the EOD course he took at Quantico, but he swears he'll be fine disarming the bomb. Sam needs Eric to be more specific than 'Ebola on steroids'. Deeks panics momentarily, Kensi is the calm one and tells him to 'trust his training'. She's definitely going to mock him for that later though. I can feel it. My video froze. Damn Internet. Deeks' meddling worked! No explosion!

Hetty tells Granger he's not allowed to report the stuff about the Spiral virus, because that would lead to the army incinerating the building with missiles. Because it's her team in the building. Doctor-lady trying to destroy the virus doesn't wear gloves or a mask or anything else to protect herself. Deeks and Kensi attack the vest-bomb dude, who is roughly the size of a bear, and proceeds to kick and elbow Kensi while she prevents him from letting go of the detonator. Deeks bashes him in the head with a fire extinguisher, and the security guard (who was faking a heart attack) opens the elevator shaft, they shove him in and he explodes halfway down. No one else gets hurt. 

A+ work done by those elevators today. So useful.

The two maskless guys don't care about the explosion, they just want the virus - and look away just as Callen ducks out of  a doorway and shoots them both. Also, none of these stray bullets puncture any vials of deadly chemicals/viruses. OMG GUESS WHAT! Doctor-lady is evil! Saw that coming, she was waay too helpful earlier! Guys, she had red hair, how did you not figure out she was Irish! She goes on and on about how 'expendable' everyone is, then throws the vial and it shatters and Callen starts coughing up blood. SHIT! But Sam couldn't have shot her after she threw the vial/before she left the room?! If she was planning on throwing it anyways... 

NCIS owes the security guard guy drinks for life, Sam follows evil-lady-doctor to the roof, kills her and the pilot trying to helicopter her out of there. She drops the case with the vials, and Sam calls in the CDC. Then everyone watches really sad through the window as they treat Callen, and Hetty says 'this is not the end'. I believe her. And oh look! Still 5 more minutes in the episode!

*Two weeks later*

Callen wakes up in a hospital, in Georgia apparently. However, apparently there had already been an antidote developed. How convenient. Callen remembers Hetty being the last thing he saw before he passed out. He also decides to be all honest and tell Sam he can't sing, and that he hates Michelle's casserole.

Kensi and Deeks are meditating together and using the word 'zen' as a substitute for 'sex'. Nell and Eric decide to join them to make things even more awkwardly hilarious. I love it. 'Group zen'. Sounds interesting.

NCIS:LA - Reign Fall

So I knew Daniela Ruah was married, but I had no idea who her husband was until I started following her on Instagram last week - his name is David and HE'S ERIC CHRISTIAN OLSEN'S OLDER BROTHER!!! So not only are they super-close coworkers, but now they're actually family!! How awesome is that!! David's also Eric's stunt double on the show - I bet he wishes he could be his makeout stand-in too... That must be a little awkward. Maybe he should go on Sarah Wright Olsen (Eric's wife)'s show Marry Me? And play her boyfriend? And they definitely must have met through the show, what an adorable little NCIS:LA real-life love story!!

This week is rare and exciting for me, because I'm at home for the holidays I get to watch with my dad! Which is fun! (Except for when he guesses the plot twist like halfway through...) Let's see if he has any interesting commentary...

Explosion prior to any dialogue, that's new... Sam has a Disney-themed party for his daughter, and they name-drop a bunch of characters (he calls Kensi and Deeks 'Lady and the Tramp', and Callen 'Goofy'). OK the first one was spot-on, but c'mon...

I don't see the resemblance...

Eric needs new catchphrases. Some lady named Nicole Borders (what a last name for a special agent) owned the house that was broken into - and the guy sneaking around was a paparazzo.

Callen is now guessing Batman villains (interesting considering Chris O'Donnell played Robin - twice) and Sam still won't budge. It takes him a while to get around to my original guess - the Genie from Aladdin. Sam in blue body paint? I'd like to see that!

Who remembers this?? Look at that suit...

The suspect they need to interview is basketball player, and an old friend of Deeks'. He thinks Kensi is 'baaaad'. Apparently he'd assaulted the paparazzi guy who ended up dead. Hence his 'suspect' status. Kensi has a point - it's kind of a conflict of interest to be suspecting one's best friend (sorry, second-best, after Monty) of murder. But he has an alibi. Thank god. Mr. Basketball player is also not very subtle - winking at Deeks right in front of Kensi.

"She baaaad." Pictured: Deeks and Kensi's best 'Are you serious' looks.

Nell says squinting is not actually bad for your eyes and I turned to my dad and said 'DID YOU HEAR THAT?!!' Thank you Nell! And she kissed Eric on the cheek and he didn't know what to say.

We meet the aforementioned Agent Borders, and she has a fiance who is apparently the one who sent the paparazzo to the empty house - it was on the market and he was just there to check on it. The fiance is also an army dude, and his son is at a military academy.

Callen and Sam have been sent to the military academy to retrieve the son, who is awkwardly formal and won't even refer to his dad as his dad - nope, gotta use the full name and ranking. We get some nice Sam and Callen banter (which Callen even acknowledges as well-done).

This dude is literally bent over backwards. Can't tell if that's because of his posture, or that backpack is too heavy.

Nell finds a link to a bunch of other crimes, and the killer had left behind something at each of them - jewlery, or a bottle of perfume (that revelation is what led her to kiss Eric's cheek earlier). All the victims were parents of children at the military academy. "It's the boy." says my dad. We'll see...

OK he's now withdrawn that theory, given that it might be a serial killer. Tsk tsk.

We learn some things about Sam's dad, and Callen asks if he wants to 'hug it out'. Hahaha. The team has a plan to 'draw out' the killer by using the Marine-dad as bait, since he was the intended target. He makes a snide comment about how Borders has 'the luxury of calling out an airstrike from miles away'. I don't foresee their engagement lasting very long... And oh hey! The stiff-as-a-board kid is capable of hugging!

Deeks goes undercover as an irritating barista, while Callen and Sam sit with the marine. He claims to have enrolled his kid in the military acedemy because 'discipline keeps him off drugs and out of a gang.' Riiiiight. Because forcing a child into the army is the only thing preventing them from being a drugged-out gang member. *Rolls eyes*. Why do adults think all teenagers do drugs all the time?

The marine guy, walking through a parking lot, is oblivious to a LOUDLY accelerating car that tries to hit him - until Callen is able of diving onto him and shoving him out of the way. Although Deeks later refers to the car as a 'sneaky hybrid', so maybe the noise was only for our benefit.

The guy, Richard, claims to have 'needed to take out evil men'. And he keeps muttering to himself. About how he's 'stupid' and 'it's too late'. Methinks Richard may be a little out of it, no? Or, as Deeks says 'a few crayons short of a full box'. I like that one.

Speaking of crayons, I had one of these as a kid. It was glorious.

Richard's father was in the military, as was his brother. The father was killed in combat, then the mother remarried and her second husband just disappeared. Callen manages to track down the mother and bring her to the boatshed in record time. She claims not to know where her other son is either, but then Sam tells her a story about growing up in a military household himself, and she admits to where he is.

They go to investigate his hiding place (an abandoned school that looks suspiciously like the military academy plus some rust - or do all California schools look the same?) and immediately get shot at. Sam pulls a hulk and dives through a window onto the guy. PLEASE TELL ME HE WENT TO THE PARTY AS THE HULK!!! Disney owns Marvel so that would technically still count!!!

It should be noted that this is the most elaborate costume my dad's ever worn. My mom made it.
For Halloween 2009. He was Lysol-man.

Side note - abandoned buildings are really cool. I would love to take up urban exploration. Except for this one - it contains a lab being used to build explosives. Uh-oh.

The second son thinks he's doing all the boys a favour by killing their fathers. He also alludes to having killed his stepfather, saying the guy 'got what he deserved.' Callen disagrees. Then Sam takes him into the explosives room, he steps on a pressure plate, and Sam threatens him so that he'll tell them who the next target is. Shockingly, Sam was bluffing, and the guy tells them who the target is, steps off the place in an effort to blow up Sam and Callen, then freaks out when there's no *BOOM*.

Kensi and Deeks find the next target - then they book it to his house because his son was on his way home, and wearing headphones so he didn't hear them yelling for him. And instead of, oh, I dunno, waiting for the bomb squad, Sam DIVES into the kid, shoves him into the pool and somehow the explosion totally misses them.

OH MY GOD Sam went to the party as Sully from Monsters, Inc. So I was pretty close with the 'giant blue' thing.  That's awesome.

Add a fireball in the background and you've got Sam this episode.

Where the hell was Hetty this episode? and Granger? And why was there just the one scene with Eric and Nell - although don't get me wrong, 'twas a good scene, I just feel like they were used as Google this episode.

NCIS: LA - The Grey Man

FYI - I wasn't able to watch SNL this weekend, and then it wasn't up online until this morning. I'll hopefully be able to watch and post about it within the next few days. 

Sam's given his daughter a cell phone, and as a result she's calling him constantly. How old is this child?? I was 14 when I got my first phone and it was a crappy flip one that didn't even text... She and Deeks both want spaghetti for dinner. And hearing Sam refer to himself in the third person as 'daddy' is a little... Uncomfortable.

Callen has a girlfriend! You go, G Callen! (I mean, he's adorable, so on one level that's not surprising, but then there's the job, sooo...)

Considering he used to look like this, HOW IS HE NOT OFF THE MARKET ALREADY??
(Side note: I definitely prefer the longer hair)

Deeks has named his smelly undercover jacket, 'Arty' (very original, you removed one letter from your own name). Apparently it gave Callen a rash. Ewww. I hope his girlfriend doesn't know about that. And Sam's daughter doesn't know what an emergency is - she called Hetty to tell her she'd rather have lasagna for dinner.

Granger told Hetty that he was going to get fro-yo with an actor, Claude Rains, from Casablanca, (Who is dead, BTW) and hearing her say 'fro-yo' was the funniest thing. I'll say this, the guy Granger went to meet definitely looked like he belonged in Casablanca. Fedora and everything. But apparently they meant the star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, which is right outside the frozen yogurt shop. Clever! And Callen gets another quip in when they catch the guy after he tries to run - "Believe it or not, you landed on Robert Ripley."

Apparently Kensi is not Arty's 'type'. How is he not dying of heat wearing a beanie and that coat in LA?? She admits to him that she lived on the street for a while after her father died. Which makes me really sad. Deeks already knew that, because Hetty told him, but she 'didn't say anything' if you catch my drift.

A homeless guy offers Deeks some fries, and for some reason isn't at all suspicious of Deeks talking to himself/Kensi through the headset. They notice a girl who might be linked to a cartel and therefore their victim - and all I notice is how INSANELY LONG AND GORGEOUS HER HAIR IS. I would kill for hair like that. I mean, mine's pretty long, but also kinda split-endy and gross and not nearly as shiny and perfect as hers. Geez.

This may be a slight exaggeration. That girl's hair was dark.

Kensi made a pun about how Arty was doing all the work and Deeks was 'just riding his coattails'. CALLEN AND SAM ARE IN SUITS. So this girl, it turns out, is an escort as well as working with the cartel - and then she says that Callen and Sam seem like they 'haven't gotten any in a while' and Callen shoots her down - "You're confusing horny with hungry. We skipped lunch today." I would like to high-five whoever writes his lines like that. They're gold.

Deeks very cleverly gets a federal prosecutor - who's being held hostage in his own house - to come to the door by saying he got some of his mail and writes a message on it, letting the guy know who he is and asking him to tell him how many bad guys are in the house. Callen and Sam sneak in the back and take the cartel guys down. GENIUS! But I'm kind of surprised they didn't hear Callen talking, I mean he was practically in the same room, and he didn't exactly whisper...

Clearly Callen didn't get this message.You have to be vewwy quiet when hunting, bad guys or otherwise.

Who is this dude? Some random DEA agent is getting all antsy and wants to take the other guy with him to the court to ensure the extradition of the cartel boss. But the team gets all suspicious and tells him to cool his jets (I'm paraphrasing).

Callen knows how to speak 'tween'. He 'translated' Sam's daughter's texts. Cute.

They figure out that the lawyer actually knew one of the other cartel hookers, and that he was the one who wanted to kill the cartel boss because the woman and her daughter had been kidnapped and would be killed unless he did so. The victim at the beginning was actually his long-lost father, and had been following his son around and got killed because he saw the girls being kidnapped. That's so sad!!

OK Deeks and Kensi are having a really touching moment, but they're right outside the place that the girls are being held - he questions it too, THIS ISN'T A GOOD TIME!

Deeks, telling the cartel members that they look confused and idiotic is a bad idea when they're pointing a gun at you... He convinces them that the room was filled with gas so shooting would be a bad idea, then one of them picks up a meat cleaver so he runs out screaming 'PLAN B!' and Kensi shoots into the building, blowing it up (Deeks happens to land right on top of her... awkward).

Sam gave his daughter Callen's number so she calls him right in the middle of the suspect talking to his girlfriend. Awwwe 'Uncle Callen'. But to be honest, I don't know that many young girls who actually talk on the phone rather than texting.

You have been warned.

The whole long-lost-father not revealing himself thing really made Callen sad, and Hetty naturally has some wise words on the subject. But seriously, I can't believe not knowing who your family is. That must be so hard.  Poor Callen. We haven't touched on that subject for a while.

This episode was decent. I always love them all undercover - and we got that times four today, so yaaay!! However - NOT ENOUGH ERIC/NELL!!! I feel like they're hardly ever around lately!! But I'm still hearing Hetty say 'fro-yo' in my head and that almost makes up for it.

NCIS: LA - Leipei

OK so here's a suggestion - if a little airplaney thing is coming straight at your window at a high speed - maybe don't just sit and stare at it an amused/curious manner... Not that all of them are full of explosives, but I'm sure they'd hurt at least a little if they hit you.

Monty has anxiety issues (or he just liked to pee in private, we're not sure) and nobody ever listens to poor Eric. Nell and Eric begin talking in hashtags and Granger gets grumpy about it. Because he's old. Or not tech-savvy. Or he thought they were having fun and wanted them to cut that out. But Nell gets to go into the field! Yaaay!

I just realized - GRANGER IS GRUMPY CAT!!!!

The man who was killed was a known terrorist that was in witness protection, but then managed to escape witness protection, a fact Deeks and Hetty are both incredulous about. (Me too).

The woman who was there and happened to catch the explosion on camera happens to be married... awkward.

Sam is trying to be the best at everything, and Callen is questioning his tactics - like taking a magic class, which Sam passes off as 'Escaping restraints in stressful situations'.

Uh-oh... dead guy.

Callen, aren't you aware that the health-inspector thing never works when trying to investigate a restaurant?? And then he just keeps listing things - rodents in the kitchen area, insects in the refrigerator, etc. And then Sam (posing as a patron) freaks out and starts asking what kinds of rats they were (because that matters).

This totally looks like a man who would be afraid of rats.

OH MY GOD the guy they went to the restaurant to find is played by the dude who was Detective Vartann on CSI for years and years! So strange to see him with a Spanish accent.

Vartann! Would Catherine approve of your criminal activities?! I do not think so!!

Sam chases him down and fights him in a carwash - and I hope the government will pay for the windshield of that poor guy's car they broke. Sam eventually takes him down, but not before a) he gets hit with a can of Turtle Wax and b) Callen detains four people and then catches up.

The bad guy watches TMZ which is why he claims he came to LA, and he knows his rights because he also watches 'the Matlock'

Eric missed Nell 'every single solitary second' that she was gone. Awwwwe! He also said he owns her now, and therefore is lending her out to Callen & Sam - but she apparently didn't get the memo.

I'm sorry Eric, who exactly looks like they're in charge here?

Deeks and Kensi find evidence that someone was building a MUCH larger drone. Which is unfortunate. Because, as Deeks says (in a manner that would make Horatio Caine proud) "The question is... Who was he building it for?"

*Sunglasses* YEEAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!

 *Commercial* 

Man, I miss that show... 

Callen is having bad luck with his cover stories today - first the skepticism over the health department thing, then when he knocks on a door posing as a painter, the people in the house just run away. Looks like he could take some acting lessons from Eric...

I don't know if shooting at a drone full of explosives would be a really great idea... Although they are in the middle of an open area, I guess it'd minimize the casualties. And I'm sure Horatio would think that's a great idea - he'd make the shot, too.

Apparently the drone is heading for an oil refinery. And Eric states the obvious - if one oil container explodes, they all do - then he uses some history to demonstrate how that could be very bad for the people living in the area.

Basically.

Of course all bad guys drive giant boxy vans - but this one is surprisingly coloured (blue), rather than black or white. Typical smug criminal informs Callen that 'It's too late, the drone is on its way' then tells Callen to burn in hell and tries to shoot him. The tablet that controls the drone is busted, but Nell (ever the expert) walks Callen through how to control it. Eric panics.
And then the drone goes offline, comes back online but tries to hone in on the tablet, so he just CHUCKS it and dives out of the way.

After this experience, Sam is suddenly interested in buying a 'drone of our own'. But Callen hates robots, including Roombas. Which is silly, him being a bachelor and all - are you telling me you'd rather do all your own vacuuming, G?

And it'd be even more fun if he had a cat!

Hetty thinks Nell was very useful in this operation (and I concur) but she is wondering if Nell is still interested in being an undercover agent - Nell is sad because she's not big, or overwhelmingly athletic, or a good sniper (wait, are we talking about Nell or me here??). They drink whiskey and Hetty somehow relates that to her self-doubt. Everyone comes back and is proud of her, and then Eric gives her a little smile (from behind a pillar for some reason) and I melt a wee bit.

Eric's precious smile is precious.

But seriously, I hope this isn't foreshadowing that they're turning Nell into an agent - I couldn't handle her leaving Eric all alone at Ops with Granger! I would miss her 'every single solitary second' - and so would he!!!

[I only managed to make two TV references this week. Weak.]