NCIS: LA - Black Wind

Some dudes didn't stop at a border checkpoint, one of them ran away and the other one is 'bleeding' from the nose... Green. Green blood. Didn't CSI do an episode about green blood??

Deeks is going all environmentally-friendly. And not letting them flush their pee. I'm with Callen, that's hella unsanitary. He got stabbed in the butt by a cactus. And no one will help him remove it.

Apparently it's something to do with anthrax. Uh-oh. Hetty has also surfed every corner of Mexico.

Hetty is not impressed by your beach-bum ways, Deeks!!

Marty shouted 'Morgan Freeman' when Kensi pulled the cactus out of him. I'm not sure whether that was a reference to the 40-Year-Old Virgin chest-waxing 'Kelly Clarkson!' thing, or....

Maybe Deeks was just taking the name of the Lord in vain?

5L of anthrax is enough to take out most of southern California. Does that scare anyone else? Scares the hell out of me... Although I don't live in California, so I think I'm safe.

Callen and Sam go to meet with Agent Fuentes, who I thought was the dude from their first Mexican adventure, but apparently not.. Because it's a girl. Who kinda looks like Cecily Strong.

I think Mexico brings out Sam's inner calculator - as he and Callen bond over knowing the exact tax percentage on something.

Then they start arguing (rather adorably) about the proper way to cook something. Some sketchy police officer comes along and tries to bribe them into 'renewing their license' until some construction guy who also conveniently works on the health department steps in. And he tells them they should 'pay for some protection'. That doesn't sound creepy at all... BUT THAT'S OK BECAUSE HE'S THIS GUY:

How about a member of a gang? Do they call you that?

Kensi and Deeks (who I'm pretty sure are wearing matching couple outfits) find the driver of the truck from the beginning, the passenger was his son. He shoves some pipes onto them and Deeks gets grass stains catching him (poor baby) and then proceeds to ask him a bunch of plumbing questions.

This is not the first time Eric has magically been able to find people, but how the hell does he know that one dude eats lunch at the same place every day? Said dude is a scientist who works with pesticides. He tells Sam and Callen that you do not 'congregate with groups of Americans'. Well ok then.

Apparently there's a tunnel that's used for drug smuggling, which is how the father and son at the beginning got into the country. Deeks cracks wise and Granger gives him a blank face.

Callen and Sam go to move their truck - and then the truck won't stop moving. They try putting it in neutral, turning off the ignition, everything - EXCEPT FOR THE DAMN EMERGENCY BRAKE WHICH CALLEN ONLY USES AT THE VERY LAST SECOND. Like c'mon guys, that would have been my first instinct. I'm just confused about how you can disconnect the ignition so it turns the car on, but then the car continues running even when you try to shut it off.. But oh well, I never claimed to be a mechanic.

They get into the tunnel and someone shuts off the power and then starts shooting at them. The father gets hit, then refuses to go to the hospital (where his son is, isn't that counter-intuitive?!) Then we're treated to a rare moment of Granger sass - Deeks tells him 'control the bleeding!' and he retorts with 'control the shooter!'

Not bad. But we all know who the sassiest Granger of them all is...

Granger also tells them not to do anything stupid, which they take to mean 'go on ahead and attempt to shut down a factory full of ANTHRAX and who knows how many armed dudes on your own'. Ugh. They also find the body of the taxi driver that was working with Agent  Fuentes - although they'd have no way of knowing who he is. As soon as she finds out, she feels all guilty, and then 'the show must go on' and Kensi & Deeks show up and they do the whole 'split up and search for clues' thing.

O-ho, the 'no congregating with Americans' guy is dead. Raise your hands if you saw that coming.

CHILDREN!! I told you to stop watching this show!! Isn't it past your bedtime?!!

Kensi and Deeks get safely to the family of the anthrax victim, and even though the little boy is scared, Deeks bonds with him over Mighty Mouse.

Cartoons are the perfect way to calm down a scared child right before they're attacked.

But then Eric and Nell call to say that the scientist guy just crossed the border - a little odd because they're looking at his body. Apparently his car had some kind of special clearance with the border, because that's not a glaring hole in national security. With the touch of a button, Eric Photoshops the fake facial hair off photo of the guy crossing the border, and...

DAMMNIT ESTEBAN!!!!

And I'm confused, aren't dangerous drug-smuggling Mexicans dangerous enough? Why do they have to be linked to middle-Eastern terrorists as well?? And why did this dude not use the readily-available smuggling tunnel to smuggle the anthrax?? Why risk being caught with it at the border??

"I only have two left" - Oh sure, NOW Callen's gun has a limited supply of bullets...

Callen can count! Archer would be proud!

CALLEN AND SAM JUST MADE A GHOSTBUSTERS REFERENCE YOU GUYS LIKE A LONG ONE AND IT WAS REALLY OBVIOUS AND I AM SO FREAKING PROUD OF THIS SHOW!!!!

*SOB* Weird timing, too, because I watched Groundhog Day today.

Then Homeland Security arrives and is mean and takes away the grandfather and everyone's all sad and the little boy yells and Deeks that he's 'supposed to be the good guys'. Oops. No amount of retro animation is gonna fix this one.

But good-guy Granger to the rescue!! And so Deeks hugs him. Awwwe. Plus the cactus blooms, which is.. important, I guess?

BTW, my reference game is on FIRE today. 3 TV shows and 5 movies. *self-five*

NCIS: LA - SEAL Hunter

This episode is already looking pretty interesting, because a) someone gets framed and b) Chris O'Donnell directed. Yaaaay! I would also like to applaud them for going 6 episodes in without any reruns. That's longer than pretty much any other show this season... which is kinda disappointing. But anyways...

Sam gets arrested, at gunpoint, by the FBI, on a bridge. For MUUUUURDER. (That was my Shawn-from-Psych voice, there).

Deeks is eating a superfruit that's part aphrodisiac and looks like a giant sea urchin. Then he hits on Kensi, because 'the fruit made me do it' is an awesome excuse... Right?
Who are all these random people who suddenly work in Ops?? Typical of Hetty to be all 'by the book' and then sneak around behind Granger's back.

Kensi made a Ghostbusters reference, and Deeks has the revelation that vegetarians don't tend to eat at delis. I'm still confused about what this case is and who the person is that Sam may have killed.
Callen is also sneaky and hides in the FBI agent's car. I love how, depending on the viewpoint of the show, FBI agents are either arrogant jerks (CSI), heroes (Bones, Criminal Minds) or incompetent morons (Chuck, NCIS).

But one thing's the same:

They. Always. Wear. Suits.

Eric just compared hacking to sex and Nell made a face I've never seen on her before. It was priceless. Hetty also had a comeback to his analogy, but I'm afraid I missed it because I was still laughing at Nell. (But seriously, does anyone know what she said?? Leave the answer in comments & I'll be forever grateful!!)

Apparently you can now compare DNA samples virtually. *Science*

According to Deeks, toupees can be formidable. Also Deeks claims to be an expert on Judaism because of dating Jewish girls? How does that work, exactly? Don't pretend like you actually listened to them, dude.

Callen shows up - disguised as a waiter - at the restaurant where the FBI agents go for lunch. And Sam's apparently 'disappeared' into the federal jail system. Callen's pissed. He took the FBI lady's gun. And he recommends the lobster. But BAM now Granger's there too. WHAAAAT!? How do they do that?

Deeks scales up a house to climb in the window, and Kensi was definitely looking at his butt. Aaaand now he's trapped. Smooth move, Deeks. "If you shoot me in the back, that's murder!'" So... he just keeps his back to the guy. Oh man I love Deeks. Kensi happens to save the day from outside. And toupee man was definitely staring at Deeks, too... But not his ass. His hair. 

This is relevant.

Toupee-man, when interviewed, says he doesn't trust SEALs, then after he lists all their sneaky accomplishments in that rhetorical-question manner that is OH SO annoying ('You know who did ____? SEALs') Deeks cuts him off by saying 'otters?' and I want to high-five the TV because dude read my mind. (But I didn't, because that would be weird. Not that that's stopped me before..)

This guy approved of that joke.

Toupee-man also claims to have endured 36 hours of 'self-induced' waterboarding, and Deeks is well aware that he's full of it. Well, come on, Deeks, you are the expert on being full of it. 

Surprise, non-surprise, the two FBI people (OK apparently one of them's a lawyer) are sleeping together, and Callen casually finds them, again. I'm cracking up. I think someone on the NCIS: LA writing team has been watching Psych, this is exactly how Shawn operates. Or maybe I've been watching too much Psych. That's also a possibility. (But you can never watch too much Psych.) Granger snaps some photos of them sneaking off together and tells them that it wouldn't bode too well for them if word got out - because he wouldn't be Granger if he wasn't spoiling somebody's fun!

BOOM, Sam is back. And now he's talking to toupee man, who is probably wishing he could pull off the chrome dome like Sam does. Product placement... They have a new Windows phone. It's shiny. My dad is a tech geek and he always pointed it out when Eric had the Surface tablet before they were publicly available. They always manage to get such nicely-framed shots of them, too.

Voila! Side note: check out that adorable selfie. 

Totally reminded me of when they did this on Chuck. Who holds a sandwich like that?

Apparently it's not a toupee, his hair is just really thick and - ooh! Explosion! The non-toupee man's boat blew up. But it was pretty far away. (He wasn't on it). Apparently Sam has a 'doppelganger' who must have been the one who actually committed the murder - but that guy barely looks like him. And Granger tells Callen to 'keep an eye on Sam', knowing fully well that SAM DOES WHAT HE WANTS!

Kensi and Deeks go undercover at a self-defense class, they mess up their over story about whether they're cousins or together (they settle on cousins from Kentucky, it's a good overlap) and the lady teaching the class is totally Hotchner's wife from Criminal Minds.

Hey, I've got an idea, let's play the 'how many other TV shows can Emily mention in one post?' game. So far, I'm up to six. And one movie. I feel like this would be a good game for me to play on all my other posts. Must remember that for later.

Every time self-defense lady makes a move on him, Deeks goes "Okay, that's happening" hahaha what a guy. Apparently she remembers him as a detective because she was a working girl and he helped her out. Say it with me now: Awwwe. But then he has to tell her he's investigating her boss, and she's sad. OH CRAP they use her to lure in her boss and then he has a laser beam trained on her. Crapola.

Sam has to play the hero and runs in front of her so that Deeks and Kensi can follow the guy she handed off the bag to - he was obviously wearing a vest, so he's fine - but then he just LEAVES her there and runs off after the sniper who could possibly still shoot at her... Where's the logic in that??

An abandoned theater is a great place for a showdown. What with the dramatic lighting and all. And I'm still bothered by the fact that THIS DUDE LOOKS NOTHING LIKE SAM!!!

Calm Sam is the scariest Sam. The guy (who is not scary, and looks nothing like Sam) starts crying so then Sam and Callen just start laughing, because real SEALs don't cry. 

No word on the otters, though.

And toupee-or-not guy took all the credit and then referred to Callen and Sam as his backup. Rude!

Update: that sea-urchin-looking fruit stinks. Hetty's not having any of that in her Ops!
Foolish Callen invites Granger for a drink with them - why would you do that! He will prevent you from having fun!

So, to sum up:
-Excellent banter this episode (although a little lacking on Nell & Eric again, what's up with that?)
-Deeks has a nice butt
-Don't mess with Sam
-Toupees are obvious
-Affairs with coworkers are also obvious *cough* Densi *cough*
-Callen is sneaky
-Otters are adorable
-The writers need to learn what 'doppelganger' means
-I wish Chris O'Donnell could direct every episode

And I managed to make six TV and one movie references. Not sure if that's a good thing...

NCIS: LA - The 3rd Choir

NCIS is so nice to us fans, having the episode title immediately after the opening credits. Makes my job easier. [Unrelated, this is my 200th post on this blog! Yaaay!! I'm not sure if that's an accomplishment, or just a sign that I have too much time on my hands. I'm going with the former.]

And Nate's baaack!! It's always a good day when Peter Cambor guest stars.
But here's the thing - obviously he's there to help Nell deal with shooting someone. But at the end of last episode, Callen says 'she'll be fine'. Guess not.

Also, does anyone else miss Hetty's giant Harry-Potter-esque round glasses?

"I never look back, darling, it distracts me from the now." 

Callen is taking money out of a vault in a cemetery. This is weird. Also, Eric's mom called him 'Beale'. And Eric likes eating cereal! Me too! ... Now I want Mini Wheats.

Deeks didn't get a bimbo pregnant - and Kensi guesses his stripper stage name is 'Dirty Deeks'. And the two of them doth protest too much when Granger asks to talk to them. Be cool, guys, be cool!!! There's no sign of the bad guy Mattias - or Nell. This isn't good.

Apparently it was Callen's own money in the cemetery vault. He does what he wants, regardless of Granger's opinions. They go on Hetty's version of 'code red' and lock down the Ops room to have secretive discussions about how they can't trust anyone outside of the team.

The pig-headed guy running the hearing tells Hetty that her people are 'not her family' so she just walks out. What a boss. And then they try to lock down the building - so she activates the fire alarm and jumps out a window. It's possible, she says, that she's getting too old for this. Never! I say.

Hetty might be a fan of Lethal Weapon.

Eric is such a sweetie and calls Nell asking if she's ok... Awwww. And then there's a knock at her door (repeatedly, impatiently) and IT'S NATE!!! Shit, she really must be scared, she answered the door holding a gun!! I love the friendship they have - although I find it weird, since they weren't really on the show together for very long (she showed up at the beginning of Season 2, he left at the beginning of season 3, and has reappeared about 7 times since then). I also think it's interesting that they use the sweet little innocent girl to represent the fact that the 'bad guys' they kill are actually people.

Deeks hates cockroaches. This is a hilarious turn of events. Hetty stowed away on an airplane full of soldiers. She also has a message for the congressman - she thinks he's an ass. What a lady.

Oh yes, ONE guy with a ringing phone in the middle of a crowded boardwalk is clearly incriminating - although they were right, and then get shot at by a sniper. Why has nothing blown up yet this season?

Friendly reminder: G Callen does what he wants. Granger told Sam to 'keep him under control' and I have to laugh, because honestly, do you think Callen cares? I really hope Granger turns out to be the bad guy - he's so annoying.

Scary clipboard lady is back, and is hitting on Sam a little bit - then he tells her he's married, and she's surprised. Awkward. He's amused. And so is Callen. They're hilarious. I love their dynamic.

Granger doesn't believe in the idea of the soul, but Nate does. And Granger's rushing Nell's return to the field, which is incredibly stupid.

Nate is smart. We listen to Nate here, Granger!!!!

Kensi is as excited to see him as I am - also he's well aware of the Densi dynamic. Hetty is also concerned about Nell and the fact that she's stayed home from work, which is kind of sweet.

Callen is stupid and rushes into a gang member's house because they supposedly were holding the bad guy as a captive as a favour to Callen and Sam - and all the gang guys are dead and there's a grenade and FINALLY there's an explosion!! *Cue dramatic diving out the window from several different angles*

Somehow the bad guy tracked their car, so he found the boatshed, and knows where Ops is too - Eric freaked out when they told him, and he didn't have time to divert Hetty before she showed up there, and Mattias did too. But he doesn't even know Eric's right there?! She's scarily calm and he threatens to inject her with something - until clipboard lady shows up at a most inopportune time, and gives Hetty a chance to shoot him, but he injures clipboard lady in the process (and then shoots her again as she's lying injured, because he's an asshole like that). Nell shows up at a convenient time and gets Hetty out of harm's way, then the rest of the team shows up out of nowhere and surround him.

She offers up her own version of 'I never look back, darling' - "That's your problem, Mattias. Too much nostalgia". She shoots him in the knee and blames it on a 'touchy trigger' (yeah no one is buying that Hetty, but nice try). Then Nate is randomly there, and Nell nods at him which somehow means she's now fine. *Magic* Hetty gets the final word, as always, that it's 'Nice to be home' and I'm sure I speak for all of us when I say we're glad to have her back!!

But who was the supposed 'leak' in their security?? And while we're at it, asking questions about this show that will likely never be answered -

WHAT THE HELL IS IN THAT BOX?!!