SNL - Donald Trump

I have a lot of feelings about this. Most of them are rage. I hate Donald Trump so much. He's racist, sexist, homophobic, classist- just about every 'ist' there is. It was mildly entertaining when he was on the Celebrity Apprentice and didn't actually have any power over anyone. It pisses me off so much that this show would give him a platform just for the sake of their ratings. Ironically, many of his supporters wouldn't even watch it because it's 'liberal swill'. Everyone else (like me, admittedly) is watching solely hoping it will be a train wreck.

I considered boycotting it and watching online, but then I realized that I live in Canada so my viewing doesn't count for NBC's ratings anyways.

But I still maintain that this episode should have aired last week, on Halloween - because the possibility of President Trump is scarier than any horror movie.

Larry David is back! I thought that was actually Bernie for a second.

Darryl Hammond does a better imitation of Trump than Trump does. 

"Trump's a racist!" Larry David is just saying what we're all thinking.

Here's a cameo from Ivanka Trump that nobody asked for, and nobody applauded. Awkward. I actually don't hate her, she seems much nicer and more intelligent than her dad. Unfortunately, she still has his last name and is only famous because of him.

The girls are rapping again, now a parody of M.I.A.'s 'Bad Girls' in which they demonstrate ways they're rebelling in everyday situations. But my favourite is when they said "Our waitress was terrible, it's time to leave a tip... Of 20% because being a server is hard and we don't know what's going on in her day."

The next bit was kind of original, Trump 'live tweeting' on screen the cast members in a sketch (Kate, Cecily, Keenan, Vanessa and Taran) while they try not to react to it.

I knew they were going to do a Hotline Bling sketch!! I knew it! It was great! Jay is the best impressionist they have on the cast right now, love that dude. And a Martin Short cameo!! Love it!!

Sometimes you just gotta do the Ed Grimley. #SNL https://t.co/CqxOk5LcuK

— Saturday Night Live (@nbcsnl) November 8, 2015

#SNL 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 sneaky 🐠🐠🐠🐠🐠

— Jose Bautista (@JoeyBats19) November 8, 2015

Jose Bautista approves of the name of one of those dance moves in the video. I'm guessing he feels differently about Trump, however.

Commercial break - I love that commercial with Mary J Blige, Taraji P Henson, and Kerry Washington talking about mix tapes. They look like they'd be so much fun to hang out with!

I was kinda hoping that Kristen Wiig would be dancing with Sia. No such luck.

UPDAAAATE TIME!!! C'mon boys, please restore my faith in your show...
Of course they're taking aim at Ben Carson this week, that's just too easy. But Che did manage to throw some scripted shade at Trump. Good.

LESLIE!!! Called Colin a 'tall glass of egg whites' hahaha. I like that they at least acknowledged the protesters outside... Che manages to bring up more stupid Trump shit. Drunk Uncle is a fan of Trump, which is not news to anyone. Did you know that Drunk Uncle has the power to break a glass in his fist, reach offscreen and just summon another one?

I'm reminded of a little anecdote - my grandma and I were discussing american politics once, and she said to me "I was telling your grandfather the other day, and now I shouldn't use this language, but Trump is the personification of the word 'asshole'." Needless to say, I laughed for about five minutes. But I can't think of a better way to sum him up.

The next bit is kinda funny considering that one Democratic candidate who kept griping about not getting enough time - it's Trump playing 'the laser harp' in a crappy little band and complaining that no one is letting him do a long enough solo because all the other performers keep going really long ones.

Pete Davidson makes his first appearance in this episode - in a sketch where he's Aidy's boyfriend and Beck Bennett is her father, who keeps playing various songs that he himself is singing. And then he gets all angsty and offended when he thinks everyone hates them.

Apparently the band on the show the last time Trump hosted was called 'Toots and the Maytals'. I hope that was planned just to get Trump to say 'Toots' a dozen times. They're a real group. Kinda seem like something Jimmy Fallon would have on his 'Do not Play' list. And this is how you'd dance for it:

The two girls who aren't pornstars anymore are now doing ads for Donald Trump (Tramp?) 

Well. Thank god that's over. At least he was barely in any of the sketches. More like cameos. 

SNL - Kevin Hart

This is really late in going up so I'm just gonna be brief..

The opening sketch with Pete writing a report on Martin Luther King, Jr. and Keenan (as MLK) talking to him about the state of the world today. And yes, Selma should have been nominated for more Oscars. Total bullcrap. That sketch made a lot of good points! And I think Pete might have gotten his first 'Live from New York' intro! Yaay for him!

Kevin Hart is afraid of a ton of wild animals eating his dog - where does he live, Australia?? And a raccoon tried to break into his house.

I have heard so much about this next part - Kate's parody of Justin Bieber's Calvin Klein commercial. She really looks short! And douchey! Excellent impersonation!

I see no difference.

Kevin hosting a talk show about why people post various things on Instagram - and he yells at them. Then sends them into 'the wall'. And I think they had a minor glitch there because the couch actually ran into the wall first before it went through the hole. I hate it when people post pictures of their injuries online. It's gross. And you could not possibly avoid seeing it!

Kevin and Jay and Keenan taking the subversion of expectation thing to the extreme - acting like tough guys and then throwing in left turns all over the place - like his 'bitches' being the dogs he walks, and going to Martha's - which is an artesinal mayonnaise place. But then Kevin shot a dude. So that's unpleasant.  But I see what they did there - they subverted the expectation once you caught on to their subversion of expectations. Mind games.

Not pictured: Kevin's 10 bitches.

Kevin as James Brown, asking each individual member of his band if they want to get more funky. And they're all pretty non-committal about it. And now they need to figure out who's going to bring out the capes. Cos Samantha won't. This bit is so goofy I actually love it. Everyone wants chicken parm (with mustard?)

 Beck looks like my uncle.

Aidy is hosting a talk show with a reunion of the cast of a really old soap opera. Why did they need a couch that big for two people. Vanessa's character's entrance music sounds all fartsy and she keeps complaining about it and everyone else doesn't notice that there's anything different about it.. And the sound director (Kevin) speaks English but doesn't understand it. Which makes no sense.

MORE BEIBER UNDERPANTS AD!!! He (well, she) looks like a giant baby in the underpants and tanktop. And that poor model (Ceily) hahaha

Airplane!!!

OK Sia, I love your voice, but why are you wearing a mini tutu over your face? All I want to see now is the sketch Jim Carrey did when he hosted hahah with the Sia dancer-costume and they ran all over the studio. Remember that? That was pretty great.

UPDAAATE!! I've missed my boy Colin... And he did a Jersey accent and it was not great, but adorable. He brings out a woman from his building (Kate) to talk about how to get along with your neighbours. Pretty cute.

There's a smile!! I see a Jost smile!! All is right again

Colin also does his impersonation of a stoned guy. Not bad. Some pretty decent jokes this week. Not nearly enough that made Colin crack up, though.

The next bit was really dramatic singing Medieval people (Keenan, Sasheer, Cecily, Taran) singing about needing to leave their homeland/castle and move on because their homeland is too dangerous. While Kevin walks between them asking sensible things like 'whose shirt is this?' and reminding them that they don't have time to keep singing, they need to leave.

Kevin is not impressed with your vocalizing, Taran. (But I am)

 This is hilarious!! Especially because he's so short and he's just running around all ineffective and jumped onto Taran because a dragon scared him. And then as a plot twist, Leslie makes her first appearance of the week as Kevin's wife and sings some more (but convinces them to leave) and tells Kevin that if he left without her, she'd kick his ass.

HE'S SO TINY!!!

Leslie shows up again in the next bit, and tells Kevin (as himself) that she slept with him several years ago and had a kid with him - Jay, bringing his best impersonation game - and Kevin is telling her that clearly he couldn't be his son because 'he's 6 foot 2' (Actually he's 6 foot 1) and that's bullshit because Leslie is so tall that the height could come from her side... BUT THEY WERE SO ACCURATE WITH THE SAME MANNERISMS I WILL SET ASIDE THE CRAPPY GENETIC LOGIC!!

I'm not sure if the mime going along with Sia's next song is actually doing proper sign language... But if he is, that's pretty cool. And god, her voice is remarkable.

Kevin showing off his new rap album to his friends - turns out it's about all their secrets. And he keeps yelling 'pew pew pew bap bap gunshot sounds' He has so much energy jumping around, I'm loving this!

Alright, that's it for this episode, Blake Shelton is next week! (And by next week, I mean tomorrow night... Ooops)