SNL - Elizabeth Banks

This opening was great. Offering hope and solidarity with the people of France after terrorist attacks. A note of sensitivity that SNL sometimes misses. I also didn't know Cecily spoke French, and I'm very proud of her for her delivery, I could tell it was rough and at a few points she seemed on the verge of tears. But she did an excellent job.

Full disclosure - I missed this episode and I was disappointed about that (I love Elizabeth Banks) because my roommate decided I needed to go out with her and socialize. Can't really argue with her on that one.

Elizabeth Banks starts the show wearing a ball gown. God this woman is wonderful. And singing 'Flashdance (what a feeling)'?! She's my spirit animal.

Let's just say the first fauxmercial was creepy.

Black Jeopardy! These ones are always super awkward lol Elizabeth makes a good clueless college-age hippie girl lol. Of course the correct answer is that Tupac is still alive!

It's kind of hilarious when they make the girls into a little 90s-type girl group - Vanessa used to have a crush on the Menendez brothers? That's messed up, girl... THOSE WHITE OUTFITS THOUGH!!! And I don't blame Cecily for liking TRL-era Carson Daly. He's a cutie.

He looks like he just wandered onto the set and they gave him a mic

LMAO OH GOD THOSE HIGH-SCHOOL WEIRD DRAMA KID PEOPLE. There were definitely kids like that at my high school. They weren't performance artists though, they were visual art students. Just as obnoxious, but a little easier to ignore.
"It says the proceeds from tonight's show go to Neil Patrick Harris... He doesn't need that!"
And plot twist: Aidy says her mom's dead, and Vanessa's in the audience and is actually her mom...

UPDAAAAAAATE!!!! Now they're allowed to make fun of Trump! YAAAY!!! 'Jeb Hitler' actually made me laugh out loud and I got shushed by my dad. Oops.
BTW the Starbucks cup controversy is so much horseshit. This is all I have to say on the matter:
1) The fact that they're red already acknowledges the holiday season. They could have just been left white!

Such religion. So Christ-ly. 

2) THERE ARE MUCH MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO CARE ABOUT IN THE WORLD, GET YOUR HEADS OUT OF YOUR OWN ASSES!!!!
Pete has some good points about the whole stupid 'Transgender people are only transgender so they can watch women pee' argument. Well done, Pete. (And he broke slightly hahaha 'Cecily has a beautiful singing voice... That was my favourite line')
Ughh... I love Kyle but I hate his character Bruce Chandling. The whole schtick is that he's a 'comedian' who isn't funny... But the bit itself isn't funny... So it's just uncomfortable. WHY DO THEY KEEP DOING THIS?!!
Caffeinated peanut butter is a thing?! This is what I need for breakfast... Although maybe not after what Michael said about it. Ew. Apparently a 3-piece bikini in Russia is a shirt, pants, and a big heavy coat! That sounds like a Canadian 3-piece bikini. (It started snowing today. Ugh).

OMG yes a sketch about the stupid stories Ben Carson tells, trying to seem like he used to be all tough. Jay Pharoah's impressions are perfect. I love him so much. Belts can stop all the weapons! Why don't people wear belts all over? For safety!

Bobby as an awkward extra in a TV show... his character is accused of being a pervert, and speaking of 'extras', the new SNL cast member makes his first and only appearance all episode as the guy who closes the clapboard. Who are you and where have you been all week?! And he's like 'wait people are gonna think I'm actually a pervert?!' Seems like that episode of Drake & Josh where Josh plays a criminal in a re-enactment and everyone thinks he's the real criminal.

Woah woah woah, just take it easy, man! 

Wait, is Mike O'Brien still doing things? I thought he left? He cast himself as the worst Uber driver ever. Why the hell would she even get out of the car with him? Aww now they're friends and I'm so confused. Girl, you coulda just walked to your destination. Aaaand now they're getting rid of a dead body together. And taking his wife to the hospital. Weird. 

The next sketch is the best little sketch about perspective and first-world problems. Like "OMG I had to eat my sushi with a fork cos the delivery guy forgot to bring me chopsticks." Elizabeth taking two Ubers in one episode? Does she drive herself anywhere?! But at least they agreed to stop saying 'ghetto' forever. Yaaaay progress!! 

And she said 'God Bless Paris' during the goodbye. What a sweetheart. Love you Elizabeth Banks! Never change!! (And hopefully come back and host SNL over and over and over and over again!!)

SNL - Donald Trump

I have a lot of feelings about this. Most of them are rage. I hate Donald Trump so much. He's racist, sexist, homophobic, classist- just about every 'ist' there is. It was mildly entertaining when he was on the Celebrity Apprentice and didn't actually have any power over anyone. It pisses me off so much that this show would give him a platform just for the sake of their ratings. Ironically, many of his supporters wouldn't even watch it because it's 'liberal swill'. Everyone else (like me, admittedly) is watching solely hoping it will be a train wreck.

I considered boycotting it and watching online, but then I realized that I live in Canada so my viewing doesn't count for NBC's ratings anyways.

But I still maintain that this episode should have aired last week, on Halloween - because the possibility of President Trump is scarier than any horror movie.

Larry David is back! I thought that was actually Bernie for a second.

Darryl Hammond does a better imitation of Trump than Trump does. 

"Trump's a racist!" Larry David is just saying what we're all thinking.

Here's a cameo from Ivanka Trump that nobody asked for, and nobody applauded. Awkward. I actually don't hate her, she seems much nicer and more intelligent than her dad. Unfortunately, she still has his last name and is only famous because of him.

The girls are rapping again, now a parody of M.I.A.'s 'Bad Girls' in which they demonstrate ways they're rebelling in everyday situations. But my favourite is when they said "Our waitress was terrible, it's time to leave a tip... Of 20% because being a server is hard and we don't know what's going on in her day."

The next bit was kind of original, Trump 'live tweeting' on screen the cast members in a sketch (Kate, Cecily, Keenan, Vanessa and Taran) while they try not to react to it.

I knew they were going to do a Hotline Bling sketch!! I knew it! It was great! Jay is the best impressionist they have on the cast right now, love that dude. And a Martin Short cameo!! Love it!!

Sometimes you just gotta do the Ed Grimley. #SNL https://t.co/CqxOk5LcuK

— Saturday Night Live (@nbcsnl) November 8, 2015

#SNL 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 sneaky 🐠🐠🐠🐠🐠

— Jose Bautista (@JoeyBats19) November 8, 2015

Jose Bautista approves of the name of one of those dance moves in the video. I'm guessing he feels differently about Trump, however.

Commercial break - I love that commercial with Mary J Blige, Taraji P Henson, and Kerry Washington talking about mix tapes. They look like they'd be so much fun to hang out with!

I was kinda hoping that Kristen Wiig would be dancing with Sia. No such luck.

UPDAAAATE TIME!!! C'mon boys, please restore my faith in your show...
Of course they're taking aim at Ben Carson this week, that's just too easy. But Che did manage to throw some scripted shade at Trump. Good.

LESLIE!!! Called Colin a 'tall glass of egg whites' hahaha. I like that they at least acknowledged the protesters outside... Che manages to bring up more stupid Trump shit. Drunk Uncle is a fan of Trump, which is not news to anyone. Did you know that Drunk Uncle has the power to break a glass in his fist, reach offscreen and just summon another one?

I'm reminded of a little anecdote - my grandma and I were discussing american politics once, and she said to me "I was telling your grandfather the other day, and now I shouldn't use this language, but Trump is the personification of the word 'asshole'." Needless to say, I laughed for about five minutes. But I can't think of a better way to sum him up.

The next bit is kinda funny considering that one Democratic candidate who kept griping about not getting enough time - it's Trump playing 'the laser harp' in a crappy little band and complaining that no one is letting him do a long enough solo because all the other performers keep going really long ones.

Pete Davidson makes his first appearance in this episode - in a sketch where he's Aidy's boyfriend and Beck Bennett is her father, who keeps playing various songs that he himself is singing. And then he gets all angsty and offended when he thinks everyone hates them.

Apparently the band on the show the last time Trump hosted was called 'Toots and the Maytals'. I hope that was planned just to get Trump to say 'Toots' a dozen times. They're a real group. Kinda seem like something Jimmy Fallon would have on his 'Do not Play' list. And this is how you'd dance for it:

The two girls who aren't pornstars anymore are now doing ads for Donald Trump (Tramp?) 

Well. Thank god that's over. At least he was barely in any of the sketches. More like cameos. 

SNL - Tracey Morgan

The show was hella late starting this week, I was so confused when I couldn't find it. I get that it's live, but I've never had that happen before.

They're starting with the CNN Democratic debate, which surprises no one.
SURPRISE ALEC BALDWIN!
SURPRISE LARRY DAVID!
This is off to an epic start.

Larry David's impersonation of Bernie Sanders is on point. Although Bernie Sanders seems like a walking Larry David impersonation. 

Alec Baldwin is amazing. 

Tracey's back! 

AND OH MY GOD SURPRISE ENTIRE CAST OF 30 ROCK!!! Pretending to be an old episode hahaha 'Remember, this is 2012'. That was so cute. I'm glad he's healthy again. 

Yessss Family Feud! I love these sketches! That awkward moment when the dad from one family is the ex-husband of the mom from the other. I've probably said this a dozen times, but Leslie is really really tall. And one of the sons (Michael) decided to defect to the other family. 

I am THRILLED they decided to do one of the 'Brian Fellows' Safari Planet' bits. I love this sketch so much, Oh my god they got a real camel in the studio!! AND IT STEPPED RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA HAHAHAHA

The next bit was a fauxmercial for ... fake cocaine... and fake poop spray. And I don't know what is happening. 

It seems early for the musical performance, but OK. Demi Lovato is alright, I don't feel particularly strongly about her good or bad. She has a good voice, but she's missing her other sleeve. 

Update time!!! They have many many good points about how ridiculous the presidential election campaign is. Colin for president! And hey, he inserted a baseball joke!! 

SURPRISE TINA FEY!!! "We can all sell our boobs now!" She made Colin touch her arm-butt and he giggled, it was so cute. And then she literally hopped off the desk and ran away lol. Everyone is just falling apart with laughter. I love it. 

The next sketch was one of those ones that would cause my dad to looks sideways at the TV and go 'oookaaaaay...' It wasn't funny and laboured too hard and too nonsensically for the punchline, so I won't even dignify it with an explanation. 

Now there's an interesting premise - a guy threatening another guy with "You wanna dance?" and actually meaning it literally hahaha 

Keenan and Tracey together are hilarious, with a talk show dedicated to asking the question "Where's Jackie Chan at?!" And don't tell the he's in Asia - "We checked with Asia, he's not there"

SNL - Miley Cyrus

Full disclosure - I kinda hate Miley Cyrus. Like seriously. I find her obnoxious and unnecessary. But she usually does a pretty good job when she's playing a character on SNL.

The one bad thing about SNL is the time it's on - I need to watch it and giggle as quietly as possible so I don't wake up my roommates. Also I've been watching baseball all summer (Blue Jays are the AL East champs babyyyy!!!) and the short commercials have spoiled me for regular TV viewing...

I think Taran has been practicing that Trump impersonation all summer - and he NAILED it! At last, we finally get his honest opinions on women!

Hang on a second, I thought Keenan was leaving the show after last season?! He's still here?? Does that mean we get more Keenan reaction shots?!!

He's more versatile than Jon Stewart!  I need a whole library of these ASAP

The best part of the monologue was that I could mute it and still get the jokes - she was singing a 'goodbye' song to all the news stories/people that wouldn't be relevant beyond this summer (Kim Davis, Pizza Rat, Colin making a cameo as the main guy from the Entourage movie). My personal favourite was a creepy-looking Bobby Moynihan as Jared Fogle, who literally turned around and removed his glasses and became equally-creepy Josh Duggar.
As for Miley herself...

I'm not convinced Miley Cyrus likes weed. #SNL pic.twitter.com/vI9DEAQGdK

— Lisa Vikingstad (@LisaVikingstad) October 4, 2015

Yup.

Remember when I said I could tolerate Miley when she's playing a different character? Well in the first sketch (a Grease ripoff) she's basically playing herself, in a poodle skirt. Nope.
Poor new guy, with her licking his face in literally his first episode, that looked hella awkward. What was that thing she smeared on his face, a cupcake?

REAL HILLARY CLINTON SURPRISE APPEARANCE!! She showed up in a sketch with Kate McKinnon as a depressed Hillary Clinton in a bar mentioning listing off all her shortcomings. Her voice is perfect. And Real Hillary Clinton's impression of Donald Trump might have been better than even Taran's. DARYL HAMMOND SURPRISE APPEARANCE!! As Bill Clinton. This is funny, he's obviously always in the building to do his announcing duties. I'm surprised he doesn't make cameos more often.

Quick side note: I've always liked Hillary Clinton. I think she's a good sport. But she's serious when she needs to be. Obviously VERY smart. Kind of a badass. She actually reminds me a lot of my grandmother (especially the hair haha)

Oh god they made poor Hillary announce Miley... What the hell is on her head?! Even her mic stand has dreads, good grief... She doesn't have a bad voice, but I can't stand her music so I'm muting her anyways. 

ok now I am convinced pic.twitter.com/stgXBEYDJW

— Lisa Vikingstad (@LisaVikingstad) October 4, 2015

Lisa, you read my mind.

UPDAAAAATE!!!!!! Colin being adorable as usual - still has yet to crack a smile. He reminds me of Tulowitzki from the Blue Jays - he barely smiles either, but when he does, it's a thing of beauty.

Awwwww

I like Kyle Mooney, but his Update characters are always weird. Like this one - Pope Francis. Also that accent was massively inaccurate. 

Really? You made Che read the segregation joke?? Based on the audience reaction, they felt as awkward as I did. To even things out, Colin got a racism joke too - and then Che said 'I begged you not to do that' and COLIN LAUGHED but it was off-screen. Boo.

Oh haaai there Pete! As the 'resident young person'. He doesn't understand politics, this bit was actually pretty funny. THERE was a Colin smile! A canned one, but still. I think Pete has gotten more comfortable this year, and I like it. Colin laughed off-screen again. Curses.

I had to go back and add this after I found it. Canned smile, but I'll take it

Well that was interesting timing, just when I was thinking 'wait is Leslie still around??' there she is! And of course she can make Colin laugh, by flirting with him. "I wish I was JOSTbusting!" I love Leslie. She ends the bit by screaming that of course she wants to have sex with him and he's laughing and on the verge of blushing. Gosh he's pretty.

The next sketch was one I rolled my eyes at - such a tired premise 'ooooh millennials are stupid and lazy and entitled blah blah blah'. At least we got some interesting Keenan reactions out of it. People on Twitter are calling it the new Californians and OH DEAR GOD NO DO NOT BESMIRCH MY BELOVED CALIFORNIANS

The next bit is a group of girl friends re-enacting the deli scene from When Harry Met Sally.... I love that movie. They did a pretty good job of re-creating the set, too. I've always said the set/prop/costume people on SNL don't get enough credit. Their attention to detail is awesome. Also Leslie is hilarious. But the background people aren't reacting properly - WHO WOULD NOT BE STARING WHEN SHE'S SCREAMING LIKE THAT?!!! And insert Kate as the 'I'll have what she's having' lady hahaha. Vanessa just wanted to show off her Billy Crystal impersonation, let's be honest.

The next pre-recorded sketch is HILARIOUS, it's Aidy and Vanessa as best friends who are in an accident and then wake up from comas and the whole world is in a sort of post-apocalyptic state, after literally every person on earth has been dragged into Taylor Swift's squad. Very nice.

Apparently Miley tried to get Kyle to marry her hahaha and she keeps offering them extra money. Every time he opened the door to his dressing room, time had passed, until eventually the only way to get out of it was for him to die. Which, I don't really get why he wouldn't wanna marry her but it's OK, I wouldn't want to either. 

SNL - Chris Hemsworth

I was at home this weekend and super confused (i.e. kept forgetting what day of the week it was). So I missed SNL. Oops. But never fear! I'm back!

I really miss Amy Poehler's Hilary Clinton impression. Kate's not bad, but her voice sounds too much like.. her regular voice. And what is this stiff-grabby hand gesture she's making?? I feel like I've seen that before...

I knew it!!

That's the first single-person cold open I've seen in a long time!

I think I know why that third Hemsworth brother isn't famous - he's shorter than the other two.

Apparently Chris found it really hard to become famous - they told him he was too tall, too handsome, too blonde, and his muscles were too big. And if a jacked Australian with a perfect face can make it, anyone can. How inspiring!

That poor man.

Taran and Chris are 'twins' in a fake kids show, and they try to switch places but everyone figures out that they're not the same person, because they look different and Taran is less handsome and they list ALL the differences between them.Including that Chris has blonde arm-hair and Taran's is dark and goes down to his hands... And their butts are differently shaped. Creepy teacher noticing these things about her students is creepy.

THEY'RE TOTALLY THE SAME!!!

They're doing a sketch about the show Empire in which they added Chris as the only white character. And Sasheer keeps hitting people with a broom.

Che cameo!

Now there's a sci-fi sketch on a spaceship in which their captain is a chicken. And Cecily doesn't agree with the chicken's leadership. And Chris is in love with the captain (whose name is Emily!) and he clearly has to improvise what he's saying because she keeps turning away from him. I think it's probably scared by all the audience - and he's lucky it didn't peck at him. And the chicken sacrificed herself to save the ship.. And turned into a roast chicken dinner. Who the hell came up with this sketch?!! It's so random...

A+ chicken acting. If that's even a thing.

Finally, a sketch about how ridiculous Iggy Azalea is - played by Kate McKinnon on her own 'show'. And she keeps having random people on who she's been feuding with, and Chris is her cousin who's teaching her all about hip hop. Jay is TI (one of his less accurate impressions, but still not bad) and keeps placing his headphones randomly on his head.

"If you don't know what to rap, just make a gun sound."
Kate's mannerisms are spot-on.

I have no idea what's happening here.

WEEKEND UPDAAATE!!! Colin's grandma may or may not be racist. Delta charges a 45$ 'cash-survival' fee. Leslie's baaack! As the 'relationship expert'. And flirting with Colin. He made her laugh, but he's just smiling. They're so cute. I ship it. And she's mad because she can't scare anyone anymore. IT'S REALLY COLD OUT!!
And now they're doing that thing where they go back and forth on the same story - an asshole doctor candidate for president said that 'homosexuality is a choice'.
And we finally get a proper Colin smile - when he 'steals' one of Michael's jokes and says that he has a small penis.

This makes me so happy!!! He tries to keep it in but he can't!!!

IT'S THE GIRL YOU WISH YOU HADN'T STARTED A CONVERSATION WITH AT A PARTY!!! She's talking about ISIS and Boko Haram. I think. I love this girl. She's so funny. And I didn't know that you could bring democracy to Syria via Instagram. I vote this is the best Update of this season so far.

Now Bobby's interviewing The Avengers, and Thor is such a party guy - taking selfies, doing the running man, and screaming random noises. And Taran is Iron Man. Pete is a scrawny, homeless-looking Bruce Banner, who may or may not have eaten a guy. Beck makes his first appearance of the night, as Captain America. HE'S NO CHRIS EVANS!!

Derpy Captain America is derpy.

Kate and Chris are in a soap opera/dramatic movie where she's dying, and Taran is their director. Apparently he used to work for The Jeffersons, which he refers to as 'The Jeffers-sons'. So he keeps giving them acting tips which would belong on a ridiculous sitcom. (To their credit, Chris and Kate totally own the sitcom tropes haha)

Big Brother-style fake reality show where Beck and Chris are going to order food, then Kyle wants to get groceries, and Beck freaks out (in one of those to-the-camera asides) and asks him to order food as well. But then Chris comes back and goes 'wait, Brian (Kyle) was not in the living room when I went in the shower.  But now he is? What is going on here?' And suddenly it's like a dating show because he has each of them step forward and confronts them about them changing their mind. Apparently the show is called 'So You Think You Can Live With Brian?' I love this concept. Even if it's the fourth pre-taped sketch we've seen tonight.

They're not pornstars anymore - but they ARE advertising 'Dolgee and Gababba'. And Ceciley's character is supposed to be dead, so shhh...

Chris Hemsworth on a scooter, everybody.

I have no idea when their next episode is, or who's hosting, but I will probably forget about that one too... Oops. Until then, friends!

SNL - Dakota Johnson

I must start by saying this: I am 100% against 50 Shades of Grey being made out to be a huge thing. It normalizes and romanticizes abusive relationship behaviour, and that's not a message that needs to being going out into the world. It's personal to me because I have a close friend who was in a terribly manipulative/abusive relationship, and that guy displayed a lot of the controlling behaviour that Christian does in the book. I don't want to rant on this here, but there are plenty of articles explaining the issue. Go read one. Educate yourself.

Having said that, I figured that sooner or later one of the stars of an extremely popular movie would be hosting SNL, sooo... I guess, at least, they didn't pick Jamie Dornan? After all, he's #NotMyChristian...

Bless John Oliver. Love that man.

OK, so according to Rudy Guiliani, you're allowed to say bad things as long as beforehand you say 'this is going to be horrible'. And they're parodying Birdman! I really want to know who's doing his in-head voiceover, because I do not recognize that voice. Might be Beck.
Note to self: WATCH BIRDMAN!!

Why so creepy, birdman Beck?

I don't know why, but I don't really like Dakota Johnson very much... She just seems very awkward and kinda whiny... And now we're applauding her for who her parents are. Aww and they're actually there! That's sweet!

Taran playing Dakota's dad is a really odd concept, because I don't think he's significantly older than her... And oooookay, making jokes about young people joining ISIS? Is that really OK? Like I definitely don't think that's very funny...

I think this next bit is a spoof on Cinderella... Holy god, I'm jealous of that dress Dakota is wearing. That is beautiful... And I can't remember who that chain-smoking character of Cecily's is, but she's definitely done it before. I love the way she drunkenly over-enunciates things. Hilarious. Apparently her brother wore pants too tight, and now he's 'all twig and no berries' ahaha. And the clock has struck midnight, so she (Dakota) has to inform the prince that 'I don't have time to tell you my name' three times.

Somehow, I don't think Sara Bareilles' 'Brave' is actually about being blunt and honestly rude to people. But this is kind of hilarious, how excited they all are to be honest. But here's what's bugging me about Dakota - she just has one happy face, she doesn't do the exaggerated joyful expression that the other ladies have mastered (especially Kate and Leslie). But seriously, I love that song.

Look how happy she is!!!

We're 20 minutes in, and they're already doing a 50 Shades-related sketch. And poor little Kyle, having to play a child again. He's a middle-schooler who's interviewing Dakota (playing herself) and getting WAAAAY too into detail about the movie. Oh hey, she and I actually have something in common! Her favourite dessert is pie too!

Basic white girls (and Bobby) sitting around discussing how cold it is out, overusing the word 'literally' and discussing how much they 'can't even'. This could have been lifted off of Tumblr. And poor Aidy LITERALLY cannot do anything, because her arms are actually broken! And the other bee-otches won't help her! How rude!!!

I have literally only heard of Alabama Shakes in the context of them being on SNL another time, about two years ago. And all I remember about them was their lead singer-lady having really big hair. She appears to have cut it since then.

UPDAAATE!!!! *Gasp* Colin is team White&Gold on The Dress. WHYY COLIN WHYY??!!!!

He favourited one of my tweets last week!! I had such high hopes for him!!!

They're making more ISIS jokes.. Am I the only one finding this timing awkward?!
I also love it when the audience laughs/cheers for a long time while the camera is on Colin, so he's forced to just sit there and smile and be cute. AND HIS FACE as Ruth Bader Ginsburg (Kate) is dancing is just so adorable. Although I think her catchphrase 'ya ginsburnt' is borrowing a little too heavily from something Seth does on his show...

She gets points for the pun though.

Wait, Kanye apologized to Beck? How did I miss this? Finally... AND I LOVE JAY PHAROAH AS KANYE!!! He's the new Bill Hader. So good at the impressions.

OH MY GOD IT'S RIBLET!!!! I'M SO HAPPY!!! I love this guy!! When they introduced him the first time, I was like 'good god, I hope they bring him back'. AND THEY DID!!!! I'm crying with laughter right now. Apparently his pigtails are detachable. And they had a mike delivered to him so he could drop it.. #RibletForUpdate2015 #UnlessThatMeansReplacingJostThenNevermind #JostCheAndRibletForThreeManUpdate2015

The Star Trek reference in this sketch is a little weird given the fact that Leonard Nimoy died yesterday... But also I'm distracted by one-note Dakota. YOU'RE AN ACTRESS WOMAN STOP BEING SO MONOTONE, WHO ARE YOU, KRISTEN STEWART?!!! But then she started cracking slightly, and so did Leslie, so I'll forgive her.. Keenan is just nuts. Awww but then they ended the sketch with a picture of Nimoy with 'Live Long and Prosper' written on it. That's sweet.

Oh hey they're talking about Net Neutrality!! A bunch of people who don't actually know what it is... Pete doesn't want people to comment neutrally 'this is fine.' that reminds me of a Demetri Martin joke...

Let's be honest, though, most things remind me of Demetri Martin jokes.

Damn. Leslie is team white and gold dress too?!! But Pete's on my side!! Woohoo!! Also, I hate to bring up John Oliver again (I totally do not, because he's awesome) but his show actually broke the internet when he did a piece on net neutrality and explaining how important it was. He got people interested in the debate, and got them to care. GO JOHN!!!

Beck and Kyle are making a 'viral video' about people not reacting to a sad situation - bullying, women's pay inequality, kids being lost- and they just start lecturing people about nothing. At least Kyle didn't have to dress like the child in this one. But he did have to dress like a woman. And a dog.

And everyone during the goodbyes (including Dakota's dad) did the 'Live Long and Prosper' salute, that's so sweet...

Also Colin was wearing a tight black t-shirt again. Hot damn.

Public service announcement: Someone finally listened to me and gave the lovely and hilarious SNL alum Will Forte his own TV show - it's called The Last Man on Earth and it's premiering tomorrow night at 9:00 p.m. eastern on FOX. WATCH IT!!! I've missed seeing his face on my TV, I'm so excited for this!!!

I think I've had Forte withdrawal...

SNL - J.K. Simmons

(Note: My roommate had some people over so I was unable to watch the beginning of the episode, but when it goes up online I'll watch it and fill in that part)

 There was a pretty awesome article for my inner TV-production nerd regarding the set preparation for last week. Read it here: http://www.vulture.com/2015/01/how-saturday-night-live-gets-built.html

I love Keenan's character (even though I have no idea how to spell his name) who hosts the 'Cinema Classics' bit, his emphasis of random syllables. It's the alternate ending of Casablanca and Simmons is Humphrey Bogart and Kate is Ingrid Bergman. His impersonation is excellent, and she just keeps whining and saying 'nooo, no, no nooo...' and then as soon as he mentions the concentration camps, she's totally OK with leaving. Eager, in fact. And she keeps interrupting his dramatic monologue. Then she shouts 'byeeee' and scampers away. (I'd do that too in her situation... although this reminds me that I totally still need to see Casablanca).

They're still trying to find a followup to the Digital Shorts. This one is called 'Teacher Snow Day' and is pretty hilarious - all the teachers are at the school going crazy, doing lines of chalk, having a rave in the teacher's lounge, Kyle is a chem teacher (wearing two pairs of glasses) and cooking meth in his classroom. And J.K. Simmons is the principal who actually RAPS (never thought I'd see that day!) and isn't wearing any pants. Pete is a student and showed up at the school accidentally and now has all kinds of blackmail material. Excellent concept, except for the fact that teachers get to stay home on snow days too...

Bobby has a hall pass. His desk, on the other hand... does not.

UPDAAATE!!! Colin is wearing a striped tie with a plaid shirt. Are we ok with this? I'm ok with this. And he smiled when talking about Mitt Romney not running for president (also, thank god for that).
Colin makes a good point about the Superbowl having that anti-domestic-violence ad on when the NFL players can't watch it.. OH MAN I love the Cecily character the one-dimensional girl character from a male-driven comedy!!! She thinks Colin needs to grow up. Aaaand she's pregnant. But her body doesn't show it. And the baby is Colin's. But clearly fake.

She's a girl. But also hot. And she likes sports. It's so confusing.

PS I don't understand the whole Tom Petty/Sam Smith thing. I don't think they sound anything alike. (Although I might be biased because I love the Sam Smith one and I've hated 'I Won't Back Down' since I was a kid). Here are the two songs in question, so you can decide:

JEBEDIAH ATKINSON IS BACK!!!!! I was just thinking the other day, why hadn't he been around lately?? And here he is!!!! "All about that bass, bout that bass, no talent". BOOM! And the U2 thing reminds me of my unpopular opinion #47 - I didn't hate the entirety of that free album... NEXT!!! "If anything, the Beatles ruined Yoko" hahahahaha... He reminds me of a guy I went to highschool with whenever he reacts to the audience cringing... YOU ARE A TERRIBLE PERSON JEBEDIAH!!

J.K. as an old man trying to use Microsoft Word to type a letter - and Bobby is dancing in as the new paperclip guy (he's a pushpin now). And he's super irritating. And apparently voice-activated now. And then he gets all sad when they try to disable him, which is apparently synonymous with murdering him. Damnit they just made me feel bad for a little help icon. And it looks so funny because they greenscreened out Bobby's legs so he's just balancing on the point.

Ahh, nostalgia. I do not miss this little bugger. 

Seriously, how many pretaped bits are they going to do? This one is a biopic on Jay-Z, but for some reason they've got Mike O'Brien playing him (I thought he got fired?) and being all dorky and Sasheer as Beyonce (totally nailed it) and OH MY GOD JASON SUDEIKIS AS KANYE WEST!!! JASON I'VE MISSED YOU SO MUCH!!!! J.K. is Nas. Is he going to rap again? OH DEAR GOD Jay Pharoah's impression talent knows no bounds. He just 'gave him the idea' for Empire State of Mind and SOUNDED EXACTLY LIKE HIM. Damn. If they ever do actually make a Jay-Z biopic, (or a Kanye one, or a Will Smith one for that matter) I nominate Jay for the role!!!

JASON!!!!!! #SudeikisHostSNL2015

Is it just me, or do they use the same set for all the classroom sketches? J.K. is Pete's dad at 'career day' and he's telling the kids that he's a 'Japanese Messy Boy' which apparently means he has to wear underpants and a bib and eat messy food while rich Japanese ladies watch him. For $45,000/day. And Pete's embarrassed. Naturally. And I know that SNL has never been one for racial sensitivity, but that caricature of a Japanese voice they did on the phone there was just BRUTAL...

Anyways, that's it for this week!

SNL - Blake Shelton

I don't know a lot about Blake Shelton, other than he's a country singer, a judge on The Voice and has a bromance with Adam Levine.  No idea how he'll do as an actor, but I guess he can't do any worse than Justin Beiber...

Teehee.

The cold open is about that weird football inflation scandal.. I think Taran is channeling his own Ashton Kutcher impression for this Tom Brady impression. And Kate got to scream at someone, Bobby got to scream back at her... Basically, this whole thing being blown out of proportion (I see what I did there).

Yeeeah, nobody thought you were.

Blake referred to himself as the 'Justin Beiber of country music' and oh dear, that's really not a compliment, you know... Oh so now he's going to sing the monologue hahaha. I wonder if he's gonna be able to hide his accent at all in the sketches? Leslie's wearing a blonde wig and wants to be excused.

Parody of The Bachelor with Blake as a country guy from Iowa trying to convince a bunch of girls to marry him and move to Iowa with him. They're basically all clones of each other and don't care about how crappy his hometown is. This is pretty much like what the actual Bachelor is like, I swear. And then Aidy throws a loop in the pattern and starts crying about her dad dying (ten years ago). I'm surprised they didn't have any of the guys dressed in drag for this sketch.

Pictured: Literally any season of The Bachelor. Ever.

Now Blake (in a bad wig), Kate, and Aidy (in a wig reminiscent of one of the Judd sisters) are singing a song about a 'wishing boot' that comes to answer the prayers of people... this is so weird... The song almost sounds like a commercial. For food. (PS Seth Meyers tweeted that he loved this sketch. So who am I to question the master?)

(Commercial break) What the heck, they made another Spongebob movie? This one kinda/sorta live action?? But... why?!

FAMILY FEUD!!! I love Keenan's impression of Steve Harvey!! And everyone else's impressions of other people!! Really, Blake's playing himself? They couldn't pretend he was some other country singer? Taran's impression of Adam Levine is awesome. I forgot Keith Urban (Kate) was Australian... Sasheer's pretty funny as Nicki Minaj! Beck looks nothing like Harry Connick Jr. (Or Michael Buble, for that matter). And I love Kyle, but his Steven Tyler could use some work. Although A+ job by the costume department on him!! Very accurate!! And apparently Adam and Blake just want to make out (off-camera, of course).

He DID steal it from Smokey the Bear!! I knew it!!

I've never liked country music. A lot of people at my university do, and for some reason there are a disproportionate number of country bars in my hometown, but it has 100% never been my thing. Other than a little Martina McBride and Shania Twain when I was really small. But that was more pop than country...

UPDAAATE!!! Everyone's so excited about the State of the Union - especially him LITERALLY BURNING JOHN BOEHNER WHICH WAS AN AWESOME JOKE!!! More football jokes... And all I could think of is this:

Bobby plays Riblet, Michael's friend from childhood, mocking his job, who apparently has been reading 'since he was 15'. So he does a bunch of the jokes. Is this Bobby auditioning to take over Update? As long as he doesn't take Jost's job, I'm cool.
Colin too deadpannly said that joke about his dad never hugging him... AND THEN HE SMILED AND NODDED VIGOROUSLY AFTER ONE OF MICHAEL'S JOKES!! I'LL TAKE IT!

Pete is apparently afraid he might be gay, he wrote this piece just to convince his girlfriend that he isn't - and says Colin's a straight 8, and a gay 10. I think he's more of a straight 9... And I can't speak for gay people. But his reaction to the audience screaming over him was adorable. And Michael thinks Colin look stupid in instant reply, but I DISAGREE!!

Michael's ex-girlfriend (Sasheer) is reporting for them and they just keep arguing - Colin doesn't want to be dragged into this, so he wheels offscreen - NO COLIN SWEETIE COME BACK WE WANNA SEE YOU! Turns out this girl is dating someone new - AND IT'S RIBLET!! Hahahah

Good job Riblet. I hope we see more of this guy.

 (Commercial break) OK can we seriously stop putting covers of famous songs into commercials?!! It's driving me nuts! Don't get me wrong, I love peanut butter, but I don't need to associate Elton John's 'Your Song' with those Kraft teddy bears!!!! Grrr...

I don't really see the point of this next sketch, Cecily, Bobby and Blake on a parole board, emphatically refusing parole to Keenan, who is a prisoner who ate people and is deluded into thinking they're all still 'on the fence' about their decision. And apparently he'd eat his younger self if he could. I have to say, I can't decide which was funnier, Keenan's casual obliviousness or the other three being so damn emphatic.

I'm a little uncomfortable about the next one, Taran as an old man who wrote a song (sung by Blake) about his dead wife which was all sweet and then turned really unpleasant.. And I'm just wondering why they don't have any more recent photos of the wife?? Those were all 50s-era sepia shots. But the makeup team did an awesome job making Taran look old.

This is actually an unusual amount of in-sketch singing they've gotten Blake to do. Maybe they had as much faith in his acting abilities as I did. But he's done pretty well!

Last sketch of the night, Taran as a magician, who Blake keeps heckling from the audience. He wants Taran to use his powers to make him rich. And know what women are thinking. And he wants to be a black guy. Or have Wolverine claws. Or guns for hands. Or chicken nuggets with ranch. Or the power to go down on himself (hey, didn't you know, all you need for that is to remove two sets of ribs, just ask Marilyn Manson... Right?)

The end!! J.K. Simmons, a.k.a. the greatest male parental figure in Juno (I know he's been in other things, but I love that movie and I love him in it, so shhh...) is hosting next week, with a musical guest I've never heard of. So... yay! See you then!

SNL - Kevin Hart

This is really late in going up so I'm just gonna be brief..

The opening sketch with Pete writing a report on Martin Luther King, Jr. and Keenan (as MLK) talking to him about the state of the world today. And yes, Selma should have been nominated for more Oscars. Total bullcrap. That sketch made a lot of good points! And I think Pete might have gotten his first 'Live from New York' intro! Yaay for him!

Kevin Hart is afraid of a ton of wild animals eating his dog - where does he live, Australia?? And a raccoon tried to break into his house.

I have heard so much about this next part - Kate's parody of Justin Bieber's Calvin Klein commercial. She really looks short! And douchey! Excellent impersonation!

I see no difference.

Kevin hosting a talk show about why people post various things on Instagram - and he yells at them. Then sends them into 'the wall'. And I think they had a minor glitch there because the couch actually ran into the wall first before it went through the hole. I hate it when people post pictures of their injuries online. It's gross. And you could not possibly avoid seeing it!

Kevin and Jay and Keenan taking the subversion of expectation thing to the extreme - acting like tough guys and then throwing in left turns all over the place - like his 'bitches' being the dogs he walks, and going to Martha's - which is an artesinal mayonnaise place. But then Kevin shot a dude. So that's unpleasant.  But I see what they did there - they subverted the expectation once you caught on to their subversion of expectations. Mind games.

Not pictured: Kevin's 10 bitches.

Kevin as James Brown, asking each individual member of his band if they want to get more funky. And they're all pretty non-committal about it. And now they need to figure out who's going to bring out the capes. Cos Samantha won't. This bit is so goofy I actually love it. Everyone wants chicken parm (with mustard?)

 Beck looks like my uncle.

Aidy is hosting a talk show with a reunion of the cast of a really old soap opera. Why did they need a couch that big for two people. Vanessa's character's entrance music sounds all fartsy and she keeps complaining about it and everyone else doesn't notice that there's anything different about it.. And the sound director (Kevin) speaks English but doesn't understand it. Which makes no sense.

MORE BEIBER UNDERPANTS AD!!! He (well, she) looks like a giant baby in the underpants and tanktop. And that poor model (Ceily) hahaha

Airplane!!!

OK Sia, I love your voice, but why are you wearing a mini tutu over your face? All I want to see now is the sketch Jim Carrey did when he hosted hahah with the Sia dancer-costume and they ran all over the studio. Remember that? That was pretty great.

UPDAAATE!! I've missed my boy Colin... And he did a Jersey accent and it was not great, but adorable. He brings out a woman from his building (Kate) to talk about how to get along with your neighbours. Pretty cute.

There's a smile!! I see a Jost smile!! All is right again

Colin also does his impersonation of a stoned guy. Not bad. Some pretty decent jokes this week. Not nearly enough that made Colin crack up, though.

The next bit was really dramatic singing Medieval people (Keenan, Sasheer, Cecily, Taran) singing about needing to leave their homeland/castle and move on because their homeland is too dangerous. While Kevin walks between them asking sensible things like 'whose shirt is this?' and reminding them that they don't have time to keep singing, they need to leave.

Kevin is not impressed with your vocalizing, Taran. (But I am)

 This is hilarious!! Especially because he's so short and he's just running around all ineffective and jumped onto Taran because a dragon scared him. And then as a plot twist, Leslie makes her first appearance of the week as Kevin's wife and sings some more (but convinces them to leave) and tells Kevin that if he left without her, she'd kick his ass.

HE'S SO TINY!!!

Leslie shows up again in the next bit, and tells Kevin (as himself) that she slept with him several years ago and had a kid with him - Jay, bringing his best impersonation game - and Kevin is telling her that clearly he couldn't be his son because 'he's 6 foot 2' (Actually he's 6 foot 1) and that's bullshit because Leslie is so tall that the height could come from her side... BUT THEY WERE SO ACCURATE WITH THE SAME MANNERISMS I WILL SET ASIDE THE CRAPPY GENETIC LOGIC!!

I'm not sure if the mime going along with Sia's next song is actually doing proper sign language... But if he is, that's pretty cool. And god, her voice is remarkable.

Kevin showing off his new rap album to his friends - turns out it's about all their secrets. And he keeps yelling 'pew pew pew bap bap gunshot sounds' He has so much energy jumping around, I'm loving this!

Alright, that's it for this episode, Blake Shelton is next week! (And by next week, I mean tomorrow night... Ooops)

Saturday Night Live - Martin Freeman

It wasn't until 5:00 today that I remembered it's Saturday, and therefore SNL was on tonight...
I have no idea what day of the week it is anymore. Exams are the Britta of school.

They're the worst.

For that reason, my BBT blog is late this week, and my NCIS:LA one probably will be too. Sorry. And I may just fall asleep in the middle of this one.

The opening interview is with two guys (Bobby and Kyle, who finally gets to play an adult) who are the guys who invented all the torture methods for the CIA. They also invented the self-checkout lane at grocery stores, and the customer service at the cable companies. And auto-correct. Damn these guys.

Martin Freeman is adorable. He'd be perfect for an elf - doesn't even need the prosthetic ears! He proceeds to list every single role on his IMDb page... Except Sherlock, oddly enough... Give it up for racial unrest!! (No one does). Apparently all famous British people hang out together. I got really excited for a second that the real Maggie Smith would be there, but it's just Kate doing an impersonation - Taran got to do an Alan Rickman-worthy Snape. And yea, Maggie Smith is classy enough to wear the Downton Abbey costume as pyjamas. She's the best. And if Martin embarrasses himself, I'll need to change the title of this post to 'SNL - Colin Firth' hahaha.

Bow down to this woman. Do it. It's the law.

Keenan stars in a wannabe Digital Short piece called 'Sump'm Claus' about a dude who will give everyone some money even if they've been naughty enough for Santa Claus to cross them off his list. It's an odd concept, but I will say this - incredibly catchy.

Martin is like a head shorter than Leslie. Even moreso with her hair all pouffy like that. And they're getting married! By Beck. She's a basketball player, he's... tiny. All their wedding guests are objecting to them getting married. Apparently they have only known each other for five days. And have done it like 50 times. Then they fight when they're not... getting busy. And apparently he's already married. I'm so confused. The bride has a lot of kids (double three, plus four), and Kenan is her dad - who's the mother? Kenan is a LOT shorter than she is. Genetics. Apparently Martin lied and told her he was the king of England. but they're good. I think the bride's name is Alberta. And if so, that's the second time they've used that name for a character this season. Branch out a little - try another Canadian province. Nova Scotia, perhaps? Sooo a bunch more people object, then he says he 'needs his chocolate' and they are pronounced husband and wife without saying 'I do' or anything. There was like zero resolution to that sketch.

OH DEAR GOD HE'S WEARING THE HOBBIT COSTUME!! They're doing an Office parody, Middle-Earth-style. Bobby sounds nothing like Gandalf. And Taran is Gollum, which is such an insane disguise that I had to stare at him to figure out who it was. Kyle is Legolas. And he's cute, but c'mon, he's no Orlando. It wasn't a bad concept for a sketch.

Taran and Cecily are a couple with their own talk show and they all talk like stereotypical sassy gay men (including Cecily) and Martin is a handyman they're going to interview later on but they keep throwing to him, keeping the camera on him for an awkwardly long time, then talking about how cute he is. Then he dances for no reason. And Kate is playing Keith Urban, and Taran's license plate is apparently DRAMANQN.

Fauxmercial for church, and I'm just nodding and laughing - especially at the priest who alternates talking speeds, and the sweaty-palmed guy who gives the sign of peace. I'm not going to lie, my mom has definitely been that over-enunciating reader lady. And Kyle's a kid again.

MUUUUUUUUUUUUTE. I hate this song. And she's not wearing pants. They're probably supposed to be shorts, but they're white and puffy, so they kinda look like a diaper. Isn't she cold?? IT'S WINTER FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!! She also has like, zero facial expression. Which is weird.

OK I might just be going crazy because I'm so tired, but the announcer voice saying 'Weekend Update' sounded a lot less like Darrell Hammond and a lot more like Bill Hader. WHICH I WOULD LOVE BY THE WAY!! #HaderForSNLAnnouncer 
I noticed the price of oil was lower lately - it was like 96 cents (Canadian) a liter this week and everyone was freaking out. Sasheer is mad that there are no black people in emoji. She has a point. Especially that the moon face looks like a baby Charles Barkley. Colin does not understand their equations, so Michael has to translate.
Cecily is a one-dimensional female character from a male-driven comedy. She's discussing the lack of important female roles in Hollywood. And then she gets upset with Colin and he's really confused (although I think she's actually laughing). What record store?? And she took off her glasses!! So he noticed her! That was a good bit.

I don't see her...

Apparently Colin's high school yearbook picture got made fun of. But I think he's adorable (although I've seen the *after* photo, so I'm biased).

HAHAHAHAHA ok the hair's unfortunate. But that's a good solid chin. He grew into the chin.
And no one looks good in black and white.

 Hasn't this Jacob kid had his bar mitzvah 'recently' like 3 years in a row? Michael calls him on the fact that he doesn't actually have a lawyer. And then he starts crying about Derek Jeter. And can't high-five Michael properly.

Martin is training Taran on his first day at a new job (an assembly line that puts the labels on ketchup bottles) and literally all he has to do is move a lever. EASIEST JOB EVER. But Taran doesn't understand anything. "So I don't touch it?" "I'm miming!"
"Pull the lever when the light turns green, if it turns yellow push it back up." "Blue?" "There is no blue!" A little reminiscent of Who's on First. Also the slowest-moving assembly line ever. And then is turns blue! Oh no!

My TV has turned all stripey. Or maybe that's my eyes that have turned all stripey. They hurt. I've been staring at a sketchbook for the last 3 hours, and a computer screen studying for 3, then an exam paper for 2 before that. Ow.

Martin has hilarious hair. He's a saxophone player (reminiscent of Kenny G) in Kenan's lodge house band, and he has something weird going on with some dude named Roman in his personal life that he doesn't walk to talk about. During a performance, of a song with only like 6 words. Kenan was staying with him and there was a break-in and his red boots were stolen. They look like the boots from Kinky Boots. There was no resolution there either. What's up with that? (I wish...)

Wrong red boots. Wrong person whose name begins with a T. But they've both kissed Cobie Smulders...

MUUUUUUTE AGAIN. She's actually wearing pants now. But they have... Things hanging off of them. And she's flailing her arms and I'm afraid she's going to dislocate a wrist. Her guitar players (who I've just only now noticed are women in suits, rather than long-haired dudes) look very angry.

Martin is an over-enthusiastic waterbed salesman. Aidy is his jingle-singing wife, who is slightly cross-eyed and extremely overdressed. The Doritos clown is not a real thing. Aidy is awesome. Jay and Taran are shirtless, looking pissed and holding sparklers. Martin's American accent is really excellent. He reminds me 100% of Niles from Frasier. Uncanny.

Colin in a T-shirt again during the goodbyes. *Swoons*. Those arms are like tree trunks. In a good way. And now, I'm off to bed!