SNL - Donald Trump

I have a lot of feelings about this. Most of them are rage. I hate Donald Trump so much. He's racist, sexist, homophobic, classist- just about every 'ist' there is. It was mildly entertaining when he was on the Celebrity Apprentice and didn't actually have any power over anyone. It pisses me off so much that this show would give him a platform just for the sake of their ratings. Ironically, many of his supporters wouldn't even watch it because it's 'liberal swill'. Everyone else (like me, admittedly) is watching solely hoping it will be a train wreck.

I considered boycotting it and watching online, but then I realized that I live in Canada so my viewing doesn't count for NBC's ratings anyways.

But I still maintain that this episode should have aired last week, on Halloween - because the possibility of President Trump is scarier than any horror movie.

Larry David is back! I thought that was actually Bernie for a second.

Darryl Hammond does a better imitation of Trump than Trump does. 

"Trump's a racist!" Larry David is just saying what we're all thinking.

Here's a cameo from Ivanka Trump that nobody asked for, and nobody applauded. Awkward. I actually don't hate her, she seems much nicer and more intelligent than her dad. Unfortunately, she still has his last name and is only famous because of him.

The girls are rapping again, now a parody of M.I.A.'s 'Bad Girls' in which they demonstrate ways they're rebelling in everyday situations. But my favourite is when they said "Our waitress was terrible, it's time to leave a tip... Of 20% because being a server is hard and we don't know what's going on in her day."

The next bit was kind of original, Trump 'live tweeting' on screen the cast members in a sketch (Kate, Cecily, Keenan, Vanessa and Taran) while they try not to react to it.

I knew they were going to do a Hotline Bling sketch!! I knew it! It was great! Jay is the best impressionist they have on the cast right now, love that dude. And a Martin Short cameo!! Love it!!

Sometimes you just gotta do the Ed Grimley. #SNL https://t.co/CqxOk5LcuK

— Saturday Night Live (@nbcsnl) November 8, 2015

#SNL 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 sneaky 🐠🐠🐠🐠🐠

— Jose Bautista (@JoeyBats19) November 8, 2015

Jose Bautista approves of the name of one of those dance moves in the video. I'm guessing he feels differently about Trump, however.

Commercial break - I love that commercial with Mary J Blige, Taraji P Henson, and Kerry Washington talking about mix tapes. They look like they'd be so much fun to hang out with!

I was kinda hoping that Kristen Wiig would be dancing with Sia. No such luck.

UPDAAAATE TIME!!! C'mon boys, please restore my faith in your show...
Of course they're taking aim at Ben Carson this week, that's just too easy. But Che did manage to throw some scripted shade at Trump. Good.

LESLIE!!! Called Colin a 'tall glass of egg whites' hahaha. I like that they at least acknowledged the protesters outside... Che manages to bring up more stupid Trump shit. Drunk Uncle is a fan of Trump, which is not news to anyone. Did you know that Drunk Uncle has the power to break a glass in his fist, reach offscreen and just summon another one?

I'm reminded of a little anecdote - my grandma and I were discussing american politics once, and she said to me "I was telling your grandfather the other day, and now I shouldn't use this language, but Trump is the personification of the word 'asshole'." Needless to say, I laughed for about five minutes. But I can't think of a better way to sum him up.

The next bit is kinda funny considering that one Democratic candidate who kept griping about not getting enough time - it's Trump playing 'the laser harp' in a crappy little band and complaining that no one is letting him do a long enough solo because all the other performers keep going really long ones.

Pete Davidson makes his first appearance in this episode - in a sketch where he's Aidy's boyfriend and Beck Bennett is her father, who keeps playing various songs that he himself is singing. And then he gets all angsty and offended when he thinks everyone hates them.

Apparently the band on the show the last time Trump hosted was called 'Toots and the Maytals'. I hope that was planned just to get Trump to say 'Toots' a dozen times. They're a real group. Kinda seem like something Jimmy Fallon would have on his 'Do not Play' list. And this is how you'd dance for it:

The two girls who aren't pornstars anymore are now doing ads for Donald Trump (Tramp?) 

Well. Thank god that's over. At least he was barely in any of the sketches. More like cameos. 

SNL - Tracey Morgan

The show was hella late starting this week, I was so confused when I couldn't find it. I get that it's live, but I've never had that happen before.

They're starting with the CNN Democratic debate, which surprises no one.
SURPRISE ALEC BALDWIN!
SURPRISE LARRY DAVID!
This is off to an epic start.

Larry David's impersonation of Bernie Sanders is on point. Although Bernie Sanders seems like a walking Larry David impersonation. 

Alec Baldwin is amazing. 

Tracey's back! 

AND OH MY GOD SURPRISE ENTIRE CAST OF 30 ROCK!!! Pretending to be an old episode hahaha 'Remember, this is 2012'. That was so cute. I'm glad he's healthy again. 

Yessss Family Feud! I love these sketches! That awkward moment when the dad from one family is the ex-husband of the mom from the other. I've probably said this a dozen times, but Leslie is really really tall. And one of the sons (Michael) decided to defect to the other family. 

I am THRILLED they decided to do one of the 'Brian Fellows' Safari Planet' bits. I love this sketch so much, Oh my god they got a real camel in the studio!! AND IT STEPPED RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA HAHAHAHA

The next bit was a fauxmercial for ... fake cocaine... and fake poop spray. And I don't know what is happening. 

It seems early for the musical performance, but OK. Demi Lovato is alright, I don't feel particularly strongly about her good or bad. She has a good voice, but she's missing her other sleeve. 

Update time!!! They have many many good points about how ridiculous the presidential election campaign is. Colin for president! And hey, he inserted a baseball joke!! 

SURPRISE TINA FEY!!! "We can all sell our boobs now!" She made Colin touch her arm-butt and he giggled, it was so cute. And then she literally hopped off the desk and ran away lol. Everyone is just falling apart with laughter. I love it. 

The next sketch was one of those ones that would cause my dad to looks sideways at the TV and go 'oookaaaaay...' It wasn't funny and laboured too hard and too nonsensically for the punchline, so I won't even dignify it with an explanation. 

Now there's an interesting premise - a guy threatening another guy with "You wanna dance?" and actually meaning it literally hahaha 

Keenan and Tracey together are hilarious, with a talk show dedicated to asking the question "Where's Jackie Chan at?!" And don't tell the he's in Asia - "We checked with Asia, he's not there"

SNL - Miley Cyrus

Full disclosure - I kinda hate Miley Cyrus. Like seriously. I find her obnoxious and unnecessary. But she usually does a pretty good job when she's playing a character on SNL.

The one bad thing about SNL is the time it's on - I need to watch it and giggle as quietly as possible so I don't wake up my roommates. Also I've been watching baseball all summer (Blue Jays are the AL East champs babyyyy!!!) and the short commercials have spoiled me for regular TV viewing...

I think Taran has been practicing that Trump impersonation all summer - and he NAILED it! At last, we finally get his honest opinions on women!

Hang on a second, I thought Keenan was leaving the show after last season?! He's still here?? Does that mean we get more Keenan reaction shots?!!

He's more versatile than Jon Stewart!  I need a whole library of these ASAP

The best part of the monologue was that I could mute it and still get the jokes - she was singing a 'goodbye' song to all the news stories/people that wouldn't be relevant beyond this summer (Kim Davis, Pizza Rat, Colin making a cameo as the main guy from the Entourage movie). My personal favourite was a creepy-looking Bobby Moynihan as Jared Fogle, who literally turned around and removed his glasses and became equally-creepy Josh Duggar.
As for Miley herself...

I'm not convinced Miley Cyrus likes weed. #SNL pic.twitter.com/vI9DEAQGdK

— Lisa Vikingstad (@LisaVikingstad) October 4, 2015

Yup.

Remember when I said I could tolerate Miley when she's playing a different character? Well in the first sketch (a Grease ripoff) she's basically playing herself, in a poodle skirt. Nope.
Poor new guy, with her licking his face in literally his first episode, that looked hella awkward. What was that thing she smeared on his face, a cupcake?

REAL HILLARY CLINTON SURPRISE APPEARANCE!! She showed up in a sketch with Kate McKinnon as a depressed Hillary Clinton in a bar mentioning listing off all her shortcomings. Her voice is perfect. And Real Hillary Clinton's impression of Donald Trump might have been better than even Taran's. DARYL HAMMOND SURPRISE APPEARANCE!! As Bill Clinton. This is funny, he's obviously always in the building to do his announcing duties. I'm surprised he doesn't make cameos more often.

Quick side note: I've always liked Hillary Clinton. I think she's a good sport. But she's serious when she needs to be. Obviously VERY smart. Kind of a badass. She actually reminds me a lot of my grandmother (especially the hair haha)

Oh god they made poor Hillary announce Miley... What the hell is on her head?! Even her mic stand has dreads, good grief... She doesn't have a bad voice, but I can't stand her music so I'm muting her anyways. 

ok now I am convinced pic.twitter.com/stgXBEYDJW

— Lisa Vikingstad (@LisaVikingstad) October 4, 2015

Lisa, you read my mind.

UPDAAAAATE!!!!!! Colin being adorable as usual - still has yet to crack a smile. He reminds me of Tulowitzki from the Blue Jays - he barely smiles either, but when he does, it's a thing of beauty.

Awwwww

I like Kyle Mooney, but his Update characters are always weird. Like this one - Pope Francis. Also that accent was massively inaccurate. 

Really? You made Che read the segregation joke?? Based on the audience reaction, they felt as awkward as I did. To even things out, Colin got a racism joke too - and then Che said 'I begged you not to do that' and COLIN LAUGHED but it was off-screen. Boo.

Oh haaai there Pete! As the 'resident young person'. He doesn't understand politics, this bit was actually pretty funny. THERE was a Colin smile! A canned one, but still. I think Pete has gotten more comfortable this year, and I like it. Colin laughed off-screen again. Curses.

I had to go back and add this after I found it. Canned smile, but I'll take it

Well that was interesting timing, just when I was thinking 'wait is Leslie still around??' there she is! And of course she can make Colin laugh, by flirting with him. "I wish I was JOSTbusting!" I love Leslie. She ends the bit by screaming that of course she wants to have sex with him and he's laughing and on the verge of blushing. Gosh he's pretty.

The next sketch was one I rolled my eyes at - such a tired premise 'ooooh millennials are stupid and lazy and entitled blah blah blah'. At least we got some interesting Keenan reactions out of it. People on Twitter are calling it the new Californians and OH DEAR GOD NO DO NOT BESMIRCH MY BELOVED CALIFORNIANS

The next bit is a group of girl friends re-enacting the deli scene from When Harry Met Sally.... I love that movie. They did a pretty good job of re-creating the set, too. I've always said the set/prop/costume people on SNL don't get enough credit. Their attention to detail is awesome. Also Leslie is hilarious. But the background people aren't reacting properly - WHO WOULD NOT BE STARING WHEN SHE'S SCREAMING LIKE THAT?!!! And insert Kate as the 'I'll have what she's having' lady hahaha. Vanessa just wanted to show off her Billy Crystal impersonation, let's be honest.

The next pre-recorded sketch is HILARIOUS, it's Aidy and Vanessa as best friends who are in an accident and then wake up from comas and the whole world is in a sort of post-apocalyptic state, after literally every person on earth has been dragged into Taylor Swift's squad. Very nice.

Apparently Miley tried to get Kyle to marry her hahaha and she keeps offering them extra money. Every time he opened the door to his dressing room, time had passed, until eventually the only way to get out of it was for him to die. Which, I don't really get why he wouldn't wanna marry her but it's OK, I wouldn't want to either. 

SNL - Chris Hemsworth

I was at home this weekend and super confused (i.e. kept forgetting what day of the week it was). So I missed SNL. Oops. But never fear! I'm back!

I really miss Amy Poehler's Hilary Clinton impression. Kate's not bad, but her voice sounds too much like.. her regular voice. And what is this stiff-grabby hand gesture she's making?? I feel like I've seen that before...

I knew it!!

That's the first single-person cold open I've seen in a long time!

I think I know why that third Hemsworth brother isn't famous - he's shorter than the other two.

Apparently Chris found it really hard to become famous - they told him he was too tall, too handsome, too blonde, and his muscles were too big. And if a jacked Australian with a perfect face can make it, anyone can. How inspiring!

That poor man.

Taran and Chris are 'twins' in a fake kids show, and they try to switch places but everyone figures out that they're not the same person, because they look different and Taran is less handsome and they list ALL the differences between them.Including that Chris has blonde arm-hair and Taran's is dark and goes down to his hands... And their butts are differently shaped. Creepy teacher noticing these things about her students is creepy.

THEY'RE TOTALLY THE SAME!!!

They're doing a sketch about the show Empire in which they added Chris as the only white character. And Sasheer keeps hitting people with a broom.

Che cameo!

Now there's a sci-fi sketch on a spaceship in which their captain is a chicken. And Cecily doesn't agree with the chicken's leadership. And Chris is in love with the captain (whose name is Emily!) and he clearly has to improvise what he's saying because she keeps turning away from him. I think it's probably scared by all the audience - and he's lucky it didn't peck at him. And the chicken sacrificed herself to save the ship.. And turned into a roast chicken dinner. Who the hell came up with this sketch?!! It's so random...

A+ chicken acting. If that's even a thing.

Finally, a sketch about how ridiculous Iggy Azalea is - played by Kate McKinnon on her own 'show'. And she keeps having random people on who she's been feuding with, and Chris is her cousin who's teaching her all about hip hop. Jay is TI (one of his less accurate impressions, but still not bad) and keeps placing his headphones randomly on his head.

"If you don't know what to rap, just make a gun sound."
Kate's mannerisms are spot-on.

I have no idea what's happening here.

WEEKEND UPDAAATE!!! Colin's grandma may or may not be racist. Delta charges a 45$ 'cash-survival' fee. Leslie's baaack! As the 'relationship expert'. And flirting with Colin. He made her laugh, but he's just smiling. They're so cute. I ship it. And she's mad because she can't scare anyone anymore. IT'S REALLY COLD OUT!!
And now they're doing that thing where they go back and forth on the same story - an asshole doctor candidate for president said that 'homosexuality is a choice'.
And we finally get a proper Colin smile - when he 'steals' one of Michael's jokes and says that he has a small penis.

This makes me so happy!!! He tries to keep it in but he can't!!!

IT'S THE GIRL YOU WISH YOU HADN'T STARTED A CONVERSATION WITH AT A PARTY!!! She's talking about ISIS and Boko Haram. I think. I love this girl. She's so funny. And I didn't know that you could bring democracy to Syria via Instagram. I vote this is the best Update of this season so far.

Now Bobby's interviewing The Avengers, and Thor is such a party guy - taking selfies, doing the running man, and screaming random noises. And Taran is Iron Man. Pete is a scrawny, homeless-looking Bruce Banner, who may or may not have eaten a guy. Beck makes his first appearance of the night, as Captain America. HE'S NO CHRIS EVANS!!

Derpy Captain America is derpy.

Kate and Chris are in a soap opera/dramatic movie where she's dying, and Taran is their director. Apparently he used to work for The Jeffersons, which he refers to as 'The Jeffers-sons'. So he keeps giving them acting tips which would belong on a ridiculous sitcom. (To their credit, Chris and Kate totally own the sitcom tropes haha)

Big Brother-style fake reality show where Beck and Chris are going to order food, then Kyle wants to get groceries, and Beck freaks out (in one of those to-the-camera asides) and asks him to order food as well. But then Chris comes back and goes 'wait, Brian (Kyle) was not in the living room when I went in the shower.  But now he is? What is going on here?' And suddenly it's like a dating show because he has each of them step forward and confronts them about them changing their mind. Apparently the show is called 'So You Think You Can Live With Brian?' I love this concept. Even if it's the fourth pre-taped sketch we've seen tonight.

They're not pornstars anymore - but they ARE advertising 'Dolgee and Gababba'. And Ceciley's character is supposed to be dead, so shhh...

Chris Hemsworth on a scooter, everybody.

I have no idea when their next episode is, or who's hosting, but I will probably forget about that one too... Oops. Until then, friends!

SNL - J.K. Simmons

(Note: My roommate had some people over so I was unable to watch the beginning of the episode, but when it goes up online I'll watch it and fill in that part)

 There was a pretty awesome article for my inner TV-production nerd regarding the set preparation for last week. Read it here: http://www.vulture.com/2015/01/how-saturday-night-live-gets-built.html

I love Keenan's character (even though I have no idea how to spell his name) who hosts the 'Cinema Classics' bit, his emphasis of random syllables. It's the alternate ending of Casablanca and Simmons is Humphrey Bogart and Kate is Ingrid Bergman. His impersonation is excellent, and she just keeps whining and saying 'nooo, no, no nooo...' and then as soon as he mentions the concentration camps, she's totally OK with leaving. Eager, in fact. And she keeps interrupting his dramatic monologue. Then she shouts 'byeeee' and scampers away. (I'd do that too in her situation... although this reminds me that I totally still need to see Casablanca).

They're still trying to find a followup to the Digital Shorts. This one is called 'Teacher Snow Day' and is pretty hilarious - all the teachers are at the school going crazy, doing lines of chalk, having a rave in the teacher's lounge, Kyle is a chem teacher (wearing two pairs of glasses) and cooking meth in his classroom. And J.K. Simmons is the principal who actually RAPS (never thought I'd see that day!) and isn't wearing any pants. Pete is a student and showed up at the school accidentally and now has all kinds of blackmail material. Excellent concept, except for the fact that teachers get to stay home on snow days too...

Bobby has a hall pass. His desk, on the other hand... does not.

UPDAAATE!!! Colin is wearing a striped tie with a plaid shirt. Are we ok with this? I'm ok with this. And he smiled when talking about Mitt Romney not running for president (also, thank god for that).
Colin makes a good point about the Superbowl having that anti-domestic-violence ad on when the NFL players can't watch it.. OH MAN I love the Cecily character the one-dimensional girl character from a male-driven comedy!!! She thinks Colin needs to grow up. Aaaand she's pregnant. But her body doesn't show it. And the baby is Colin's. But clearly fake.

She's a girl. But also hot. And she likes sports. It's so confusing.

PS I don't understand the whole Tom Petty/Sam Smith thing. I don't think they sound anything alike. (Although I might be biased because I love the Sam Smith one and I've hated 'I Won't Back Down' since I was a kid). Here are the two songs in question, so you can decide:

JEBEDIAH ATKINSON IS BACK!!!!! I was just thinking the other day, why hadn't he been around lately?? And here he is!!!! "All about that bass, bout that bass, no talent". BOOM! And the U2 thing reminds me of my unpopular opinion #47 - I didn't hate the entirety of that free album... NEXT!!! "If anything, the Beatles ruined Yoko" hahahahaha... He reminds me of a guy I went to highschool with whenever he reacts to the audience cringing... YOU ARE A TERRIBLE PERSON JEBEDIAH!!

J.K. as an old man trying to use Microsoft Word to type a letter - and Bobby is dancing in as the new paperclip guy (he's a pushpin now). And he's super irritating. And apparently voice-activated now. And then he gets all sad when they try to disable him, which is apparently synonymous with murdering him. Damnit they just made me feel bad for a little help icon. And it looks so funny because they greenscreened out Bobby's legs so he's just balancing on the point.

Ahh, nostalgia. I do not miss this little bugger. 

Seriously, how many pretaped bits are they going to do? This one is a biopic on Jay-Z, but for some reason they've got Mike O'Brien playing him (I thought he got fired?) and being all dorky and Sasheer as Beyonce (totally nailed it) and OH MY GOD JASON SUDEIKIS AS KANYE WEST!!! JASON I'VE MISSED YOU SO MUCH!!!! J.K. is Nas. Is he going to rap again? OH DEAR GOD Jay Pharoah's impression talent knows no bounds. He just 'gave him the idea' for Empire State of Mind and SOUNDED EXACTLY LIKE HIM. Damn. If they ever do actually make a Jay-Z biopic, (or a Kanye one, or a Will Smith one for that matter) I nominate Jay for the role!!!

JASON!!!!!! #SudeikisHostSNL2015

Is it just me, or do they use the same set for all the classroom sketches? J.K. is Pete's dad at 'career day' and he's telling the kids that he's a 'Japanese Messy Boy' which apparently means he has to wear underpants and a bib and eat messy food while rich Japanese ladies watch him. For $45,000/day. And Pete's embarrassed. Naturally. And I know that SNL has never been one for racial sensitivity, but that caricature of a Japanese voice they did on the phone there was just BRUTAL...

Anyways, that's it for this week!

SNL - Blake Shelton

I don't know a lot about Blake Shelton, other than he's a country singer, a judge on The Voice and has a bromance with Adam Levine.  No idea how he'll do as an actor, but I guess he can't do any worse than Justin Beiber...

Teehee.

The cold open is about that weird football inflation scandal.. I think Taran is channeling his own Ashton Kutcher impression for this Tom Brady impression. And Kate got to scream at someone, Bobby got to scream back at her... Basically, this whole thing being blown out of proportion (I see what I did there).

Yeeeah, nobody thought you were.

Blake referred to himself as the 'Justin Beiber of country music' and oh dear, that's really not a compliment, you know... Oh so now he's going to sing the monologue hahaha. I wonder if he's gonna be able to hide his accent at all in the sketches? Leslie's wearing a blonde wig and wants to be excused.

Parody of The Bachelor with Blake as a country guy from Iowa trying to convince a bunch of girls to marry him and move to Iowa with him. They're basically all clones of each other and don't care about how crappy his hometown is. This is pretty much like what the actual Bachelor is like, I swear. And then Aidy throws a loop in the pattern and starts crying about her dad dying (ten years ago). I'm surprised they didn't have any of the guys dressed in drag for this sketch.

Pictured: Literally any season of The Bachelor. Ever.

Now Blake (in a bad wig), Kate, and Aidy (in a wig reminiscent of one of the Judd sisters) are singing a song about a 'wishing boot' that comes to answer the prayers of people... this is so weird... The song almost sounds like a commercial. For food. (PS Seth Meyers tweeted that he loved this sketch. So who am I to question the master?)

(Commercial break) What the heck, they made another Spongebob movie? This one kinda/sorta live action?? But... why?!

FAMILY FEUD!!! I love Keenan's impression of Steve Harvey!! And everyone else's impressions of other people!! Really, Blake's playing himself? They couldn't pretend he was some other country singer? Taran's impression of Adam Levine is awesome. I forgot Keith Urban (Kate) was Australian... Sasheer's pretty funny as Nicki Minaj! Beck looks nothing like Harry Connick Jr. (Or Michael Buble, for that matter). And I love Kyle, but his Steven Tyler could use some work. Although A+ job by the costume department on him!! Very accurate!! And apparently Adam and Blake just want to make out (off-camera, of course).

He DID steal it from Smokey the Bear!! I knew it!!

I've never liked country music. A lot of people at my university do, and for some reason there are a disproportionate number of country bars in my hometown, but it has 100% never been my thing. Other than a little Martina McBride and Shania Twain when I was really small. But that was more pop than country...

UPDAAATE!!! Everyone's so excited about the State of the Union - especially him LITERALLY BURNING JOHN BOEHNER WHICH WAS AN AWESOME JOKE!!! More football jokes... And all I could think of is this:

Bobby plays Riblet, Michael's friend from childhood, mocking his job, who apparently has been reading 'since he was 15'. So he does a bunch of the jokes. Is this Bobby auditioning to take over Update? As long as he doesn't take Jost's job, I'm cool.
Colin too deadpannly said that joke about his dad never hugging him... AND THEN HE SMILED AND NODDED VIGOROUSLY AFTER ONE OF MICHAEL'S JOKES!! I'LL TAKE IT!

Pete is apparently afraid he might be gay, he wrote this piece just to convince his girlfriend that he isn't - and says Colin's a straight 8, and a gay 10. I think he's more of a straight 9... And I can't speak for gay people. But his reaction to the audience screaming over him was adorable. And Michael thinks Colin look stupid in instant reply, but I DISAGREE!!

Michael's ex-girlfriend (Sasheer) is reporting for them and they just keep arguing - Colin doesn't want to be dragged into this, so he wheels offscreen - NO COLIN SWEETIE COME BACK WE WANNA SEE YOU! Turns out this girl is dating someone new - AND IT'S RIBLET!! Hahahah

Good job Riblet. I hope we see more of this guy.

 (Commercial break) OK can we seriously stop putting covers of famous songs into commercials?!! It's driving me nuts! Don't get me wrong, I love peanut butter, but I don't need to associate Elton John's 'Your Song' with those Kraft teddy bears!!!! Grrr...

I don't really see the point of this next sketch, Cecily, Bobby and Blake on a parole board, emphatically refusing parole to Keenan, who is a prisoner who ate people and is deluded into thinking they're all still 'on the fence' about their decision. And apparently he'd eat his younger self if he could. I have to say, I can't decide which was funnier, Keenan's casual obliviousness or the other three being so damn emphatic.

I'm a little uncomfortable about the next one, Taran as an old man who wrote a song (sung by Blake) about his dead wife which was all sweet and then turned really unpleasant.. And I'm just wondering why they don't have any more recent photos of the wife?? Those were all 50s-era sepia shots. But the makeup team did an awesome job making Taran look old.

This is actually an unusual amount of in-sketch singing they've gotten Blake to do. Maybe they had as much faith in his acting abilities as I did. But he's done pretty well!

Last sketch of the night, Taran as a magician, who Blake keeps heckling from the audience. He wants Taran to use his powers to make him rich. And know what women are thinking. And he wants to be a black guy. Or have Wolverine claws. Or guns for hands. Or chicken nuggets with ranch. Or the power to go down on himself (hey, didn't you know, all you need for that is to remove two sets of ribs, just ask Marilyn Manson... Right?)

The end!! J.K. Simmons, a.k.a. the greatest male parental figure in Juno (I know he's been in other things, but I love that movie and I love him in it, so shhh...) is hosting next week, with a musical guest I've never heard of. So... yay! See you then!

Saturday Night Live - James Franco

My cousin was just saying that Keenan's getting too fat to play Al Sharpton - and then they addressed it hahah. Apparently the problem with the video of the Eric Garner case was that it wasn't high enough resolution. Oy.

I used to love James Franco, and you can't deny he's a good actor, but lately he's just gotten... weird. Also I don't like the short hair. And he's not cuter than his brother! Dave wins.
Oh hey! It's Seth Rogen!! Yaaaaay cameos!! That was a really short monologue.

Maybe because James can't read...

Oh thank god they're making fun of the live Peter Pan show. It's such a weird idea. Especially with a girl as Peter. And they brought back Aidy as Tonkerbell and it's hilarious. Franco's imitation of Walken as Captain Hook is actually really good! Good for him!

Tonkerbell is back.. And she has a boyfriend!

All the characters from Star Wars are really old.. And Han Solo left the Millennium Falcon's blinker on. I wasn't aware you had to signal a turn in a spaceship.

The next part is hilarious - it's an MTV Nativity scene - rappers as the 3 kings (Taran did an awesome Eminem, James as Sean Paul, Keenan as Rick Ross), Justin Beiber (Kate) as Joseph, and Beyonce (Nicki Minaj) as Mary. And then, of course, Kanye as Jeezus, and Jay actually made us all laugh.

I thought they fired Mike O'Brien? As an actor, at least. Why is he always in the pre-taped sketches? Beck is playing an asshole who keeps asking people uncomfortable questions, then Mike as to 'grow' a person to prove that he has another friend, and then train him to be a human... But they see through his identity because he asks about what the deal is with hashtags.

The next bit is about a pair of people stuck in the forest, trying to cross a bridge and the troll (James) who lives in the bridge wants to kiss them. But Kyle says he can't kiss Aidy, his fiancee, and Cecily steals the scene with her random character Kathy-Anne who lives with the bridge troll and complains about her life. So he kisses Kyle (I'm slightly jealous of either of them...) and then decides he's bisexual and I didn't really see a point of the whole scene.

UPDAAATE! They started with a bit about Michael pretending to be surprised about the details of the Eric Garner case. He suggested that they play the videos in photo-negative so that the victim would be white and the cop would be black. That's not a bad idea... Anthony Crispino thinks Mariah Carey sounded like Drew Carrey - and that 'he forgot whose line it was anyway, sooo...'
Then they bust out a poorly-timed Bill Cosby joke that even makes Michael Che uncomfortable. And Bobby's voice went pretty high on that, I was impressed by that, if not by the joke itself.
Leslie's back! Commenting on a new dating website set up to cater to stoners. She's telling Colin that she would try anything once, and that she's very 'open'. He actually laughed because he wasn't surprised. And Leslie keeps talking to him, called him a 'Peppermint Patty' and he keeps pressing his lips together to keeps from laughing - IT'S OK TO LAUGH, COLIN!
They then decided to have Nicki play Kim Kardashian. No one will ever top Nasim's impersonation!!! Apparently all her naked photos were supposed to be educational/public service announcements. And Colin enjoyed them.

Take notes ladies - this is how it's done. (With bonus Seth)

Pete has too much stuff in his brain to remember a new password. So James is directing various things to leave - like Kyle doing a great Chris Kirkpatrick impression doing the Bye-Bye-Bye dance. And Jay brings out his Will Smith impression to do the Fresh Prince theme. Nicki played herself singing only the first two lines of Anaconda. That was a pretty good sketch. I wish I could selectively throw things out of my brain so I could remember important things - like FOR SCHOOL!

Nobody needs the word 'rhombus', anyway.

James is playing a dude who's pissed off that a four-year-old beat him in an election for mayor. He apparently has bigger muscles than this kid - and hated Frozen and 'only thought the parts with Olaf were funny'. This guy's really intense - and then James started laughing. Priceless.

The not-porn-stars-anymore are back! And advertising yachts (which they pronounced yuck-its)
And James and Seth are the random dudes - Seth's character is named James Franco.  And they pronounce Sunseeker Yachts as Seersucker Yaks. Very nice. I don't get why they always put those sketches at the end of the episode - they're always funny.

This episode was hit-and-miss. But I love when Leslie interacts with Colin. She either makes him really uncomfortable or makes him laugh so hard. And I love it either way.

Saturday Night Live - Cameron Diaz

I'm really sleepy, so this is going to be breif (sorry it's so late, but I went home for the weekend and had no free time to watch it since!)

Poor Kyle playing a little kid again.. Talking to Keenan as the bill from the that little song. Then Obama shows up and brings in Bobby the executive order, pushing Keenan down the many steps. This sketch is kinda starting to sound like it was written by FOX News... Wonder what Jon Stewart would have to say about this?

"I'm an executive order and I pretty much just happen"

I never noticed before - but on the opening credits, Colin is hanging out with firefighters... Why? Is that a thing that New Yorkers do? Seems kinda random, like in the old credits where Keenan was standing on the Brooklyn Bridge high-fiving random passers-by.

What movie exactly is Cameron promoting? Ohh Annie apparently, I didn't know she was in that movie.

I've heard so much about this 'back home baller' sketch with all the ladies rapping and it's pretty funny.. We already had Canadian Thanksgiving, and I can confirm that the pampering happens (haha just kidding, I get questioned about why I need to do laundry).

The next sketch is a parody of the new Annie movie where Jamie Foxx (Jay) keeps saying his real name when introducing himself, and there's 'Black Annie' (Leslie) who's actually 43, and a 'white Annie' (Vanessa). And she doesn't like it when they sing - then it ends with Keenan coming out and singing 'Black Annie' (basically this song with the name switched)

Fauxmercial for something that's basically a Keurig for hatching eggs. But the lady showing her friends has no idea how it works. And Keenan killed one!! Boooo...

The next bit is a low-budget 'creative' school play that totally just reminds me of the episode 'Stuff' from How I Met Your Mother:

You know, the one with Lily's play? And 'consumerism'?
And Barney's play? Which was actually funnier than Lily's play?
And Marshall never gets picked for audience participation?

Updaaaate... And Angela Merkel is back! And got a laugh out of Colin!! And then comes really close to kissing him and he laughs AGAIN!! More of her please!!!
And Charles Manson and his fiancee... (Taran and Cecily) and Taran does a good crazy dude. Apparently he told her she was in jail for income tax evasion (and she doesn't have access to the internet to verify this) - and then THEY actually start making out on the desk.

Oh god, they're back to that guy with the baby's body... and we're at his house now! I'm  totally confused as to why they continue with this sketch, it's so awkward... And I don't really like Beck Bennet all that much, I'm surprised they kept him in the cast over some of the people they let go from last year. Although he does do a pretty convincing baby-body performance. Cameron's his wife, and Keenan works for him and is bringing his wife (Sasheer) over to the boss' house for dinner. And Cameron's pregnant. Sasheer looked like she was close to cracking which reminds me, I don't think she has yet... And he keeps eating a lemon.

Now Keenan is doing an 'animal hour' show with a monkey who apparently ripped his you-know-whats off. And I'm just reminded that I miss this Tracey Morgan sketch:

THAT'S CRAZY!!

The monkey actually looks kinda terrified. And Keenan just keeps going on and on about the last episode. Cameron gets to hang out with a lemur on her shoulder! I'm jealous!

AWW YES! Kyle's re-recorded bit with his character Chris Fitzpatrick is back. I love this dude. He's trying to fight some preppy dude (Beck) and then after neither of them hit each other, Kyle freaks out cos he can't breathe since he has heart problems and then it gets broken up by a teacher (Cameron) and they both cry.

Pete makes his first appearance this episode, as a student in the class taught by Vanessa's weird awkward hippy poet-teacher lady. Keenan's character (after making hilarious faces in the back of the class) has a poem about Friends that was pretty hilarious. And Phoebe is his favourite.

But come on, isn't she everyone's favourite?

Cameron is her friend that has an overly-sexual poem about the UPS man which Pete is loving and causes Keenan to make another hilarious face.

Cecily and Cameron and Kate are in a commercial for some kind of phone sex line and they're asking for weird things like 'meeting me in a dark parking lot and hiding a package for me until things with the police die down'. Not a bad sketch, although it was a little longer than necessary.

I really did like the majority of the material this week! Although I was a little surprised there were so many pre-recorded sketches (does 3 seem like a lot to anyone else?) Cameron was great, as usual. Update was hilarious. Time for bed, see you in a few weeks!

Saturday Night Live - Woody Harrelson

My apologies for this being a late post, I had a lot of school-related stuff in the last few days, and next week's SNL post will likely be late as well, since I'm going home to visit my family this weekend and probably won't be watching. Hope it was worth the wait!!

The cold open following the US election is a political one, no surprise there.. Jon Stewart does a much better Mitch McConnell impression than Taran. And then drunk McConnell and Obama decide to prank-call Hillary Clinton. And scream when she calls back. The only thing they agree on is doing the opening.

Taran, you gotta do the face.

Take notes.

For some reason, Darrell's announcing has gotten all quiet again. Can barely hear him over the music. SPEAK UP, MAN!! (I'm aware it's probably a technically issue and not his fault).

Apparently Woody last hosted in 1989 - back in his Cheers days. Man, he was adorable when he was younger on Cheers. He decided to sing about the year 1989 in honour of Taylor Swift's new album. But he doesn't remember those years (because of all the drugs). OK the internet totally spoiled this for me, the Hunger Games showing up, but if I was actually watching, I would have been so excited because I love 2 of them and I'm indifferent toward the third. I'll let you guess who that one is. (Nevermind, I'll tell you. It's Hemsworth.) I'm reminded that Hutcherson is my age. And Woody thinks Jennifer is Taylor Swift. Jennifer can't talk and then they all dissolve into giggles. That's actually kind of adorable.

Oh hey, Hemsworth is the only one who hasn't hosted yet. Innnnteresting.

Fauxmercial for a sitcom that keeps getting changed because of people complaining on Twitter. If they actually did that, it'd be so confusing... They've changed the actors like 3 times. Including one of the actresses from OitNB. And Woody and Keenan are making out.

Next sketch is a fake dating show where Ceciley is a girl who is trying to pick between three disgustingly inappropriate guys (Kyle, Beck, and Taran) and it's grossly obnoxious - BUT THEN there's a plot twist because Woody's the host and he reveals she's his daughter. And then they become really respectful and polite. "On our date, I would start by making sure she's fully clothed." "I would take her to a war memorial, because it's important to respect our war heroes." This is freaking hilarious. Woody goes 'backstage' and gives them a moment alone, so they go back to being assholes. Then he returns and announces they're going to watch that footage after this commercial break. That was hilarious. A+ sketch. I loved watching Taran get all squirmy.

Stoners in NYC, beginning with Pete, start getting excited that you can have pot in public (but not smoke it) and one of their means of celebration is waving around a Funyuns flag.

Pictured: Woody Harrelson during his college years.

Football players at a highschool are being taught about the new rules about tackling (to protect against brain damage) and Keenan comes in as an old player who keeps repeating fragments of the same sentences. THIS COULD BE YOUR FUTURE!! BECAUSE THIS HERE IS REAL! Oops. Wrong sketch.


They used another real song - one of Lady Gaga and Tony Bennett's duets - to introduce a fauxmercial for a 'young tarts and old farts' CD, kind of in the same vein as that awesome Michael Buble Christmas duet album they did a few years ago.
This just in: KEENAN DOES AN EXCELLENT LIONEL RICHIE IMPERSONATION!! I'm astonished. AND A B.B. KING ONE TOO!!! WOW!!! How have they never used his musical talents before?? Sam Smith doesn't know how to be happy. It's kind of funny that they're making fun of all their former musical guests - including Miley Cyrus (I'm reminded of why I love Vanessa Bayer) who is the 'old person' in a duet with Lorde hahaha.

One of the best things about watching online (aside from no commercials, and rewinding to catch any jokes you missed because you were laughing too hard) is you can skip through the musical guest if you want. But I caught a few seconds and it kind of looked like Kendrick was having a seizure right there on the stage... Someone should turn off the strobe lights and make sure he gets medical attention.

WEEKEND UPDATE!!! Michael has no comment on any of the actually IMPORTANT news, because of Kim Kardashian's ass. But Colin has his priorities in order, taking about the new Healthcare.gov website - "But no one could do that, because someone broke the Internet!" HE SMILED DELIVERING THAT LINE!

Couldn't find a picture of the full smile. We'll settle for the half-smile.

Leslie's back, and she told Colin to look at her breasts and he started laughing again. He's so cute... She then says women have to let men inside them - inside their hearts, their houses, and their Netflix accounts!! That's pretty brave! She also calls Colin a 'tall glass of almond milk'. They have a fascinating dynamic.

Taran does an incredible Matthew McConaughey impression. Even though he looks nothing like him. Woody just looks amused. And at one point, he did the music from Super Mario Brothers and I guess you have to be on drugs to understand his thinking..

But I'm totally down with calling Colin 'CoJo'.

Dudes at a bar (looks a little like Cheers...) talking about the classic NYC food they miss the most - and Woody misses crack. This dude needs to get in touch with Rob Ford.

Woody pulls a song about apples out of nowhere at a campfire and he insists everyone else knows the song but they don't. He 'tosses' his guitar into the lake, but it was his 'only possession'! And they say they actually know the song. Then he gets all sulky because he threw the guitar into the lake - but you did that! And dude, you could totally just go get it.. I'm sure guitars float, right?

Oh look, they're in a different bar! With a different set! This is not at all a Cheers thing, is it?? And oh lord, it's that sketch where Kate and the male host are the last 2 people left at a bar and they start hooking up and they're really weird. And Keenan's the bartender and he gets increasingly disgusted.
'I noticed you because you're so breathing'.
"Are you feeling what I'm feeling?"
"If that's an impulse to retch, then yes, but I'm willing to ignore it." Ok that line was pretty gold.
Alright, now they're making out through cling wrap... And Keenan's just reading the Bible...

This is so much better. This is adorable.

Leslie did not want to let go of Liam Hemsworth during the goodbye hahaha.. And Jennifer kept talking to... someone, I have no idea who. But that was adorable.

Overall there was a lot of great material this episode. It's kind of awkward that Harrelson only really got to play one type of dude.. And the sketches at the end (post-Update) weren't great. But that's why they put them at the end!