SNL - Blake Shelton

I don't know a lot about Blake Shelton, other than he's a country singer, a judge on The Voice and has a bromance with Adam Levine.  No idea how he'll do as an actor, but I guess he can't do any worse than Justin Beiber...

Teehee.

The cold open is about that weird football inflation scandal.. I think Taran is channeling his own Ashton Kutcher impression for this Tom Brady impression. And Kate got to scream at someone, Bobby got to scream back at her... Basically, this whole thing being blown out of proportion (I see what I did there).

Yeeeah, nobody thought you were.

Blake referred to himself as the 'Justin Beiber of country music' and oh dear, that's really not a compliment, you know... Oh so now he's going to sing the monologue hahaha. I wonder if he's gonna be able to hide his accent at all in the sketches? Leslie's wearing a blonde wig and wants to be excused.

Parody of The Bachelor with Blake as a country guy from Iowa trying to convince a bunch of girls to marry him and move to Iowa with him. They're basically all clones of each other and don't care about how crappy his hometown is. This is pretty much like what the actual Bachelor is like, I swear. And then Aidy throws a loop in the pattern and starts crying about her dad dying (ten years ago). I'm surprised they didn't have any of the guys dressed in drag for this sketch.

Pictured: Literally any season of The Bachelor. Ever.

Now Blake (in a bad wig), Kate, and Aidy (in a wig reminiscent of one of the Judd sisters) are singing a song about a 'wishing boot' that comes to answer the prayers of people... this is so weird... The song almost sounds like a commercial. For food. (PS Seth Meyers tweeted that he loved this sketch. So who am I to question the master?)

(Commercial break) What the heck, they made another Spongebob movie? This one kinda/sorta live action?? But... why?!

FAMILY FEUD!!! I love Keenan's impression of Steve Harvey!! And everyone else's impressions of other people!! Really, Blake's playing himself? They couldn't pretend he was some other country singer? Taran's impression of Adam Levine is awesome. I forgot Keith Urban (Kate) was Australian... Sasheer's pretty funny as Nicki Minaj! Beck looks nothing like Harry Connick Jr. (Or Michael Buble, for that matter). And I love Kyle, but his Steven Tyler could use some work. Although A+ job by the costume department on him!! Very accurate!! And apparently Adam and Blake just want to make out (off-camera, of course).

He DID steal it from Smokey the Bear!! I knew it!!

I've never liked country music. A lot of people at my university do, and for some reason there are a disproportionate number of country bars in my hometown, but it has 100% never been my thing. Other than a little Martina McBride and Shania Twain when I was really small. But that was more pop than country...

UPDAAATE!!! Everyone's so excited about the State of the Union - especially him LITERALLY BURNING JOHN BOEHNER WHICH WAS AN AWESOME JOKE!!! More football jokes... And all I could think of is this:

Bobby plays Riblet, Michael's friend from childhood, mocking his job, who apparently has been reading 'since he was 15'. So he does a bunch of the jokes. Is this Bobby auditioning to take over Update? As long as he doesn't take Jost's job, I'm cool.
Colin too deadpannly said that joke about his dad never hugging him... AND THEN HE SMILED AND NODDED VIGOROUSLY AFTER ONE OF MICHAEL'S JOKES!! I'LL TAKE IT!

Pete is apparently afraid he might be gay, he wrote this piece just to convince his girlfriend that he isn't - and says Colin's a straight 8, and a gay 10. I think he's more of a straight 9... And I can't speak for gay people. But his reaction to the audience screaming over him was adorable. And Michael thinks Colin look stupid in instant reply, but I DISAGREE!!

Michael's ex-girlfriend (Sasheer) is reporting for them and they just keep arguing - Colin doesn't want to be dragged into this, so he wheels offscreen - NO COLIN SWEETIE COME BACK WE WANNA SEE YOU! Turns out this girl is dating someone new - AND IT'S RIBLET!! Hahahah

Good job Riblet. I hope we see more of this guy.

 (Commercial break) OK can we seriously stop putting covers of famous songs into commercials?!! It's driving me nuts! Don't get me wrong, I love peanut butter, but I don't need to associate Elton John's 'Your Song' with those Kraft teddy bears!!!! Grrr...

I don't really see the point of this next sketch, Cecily, Bobby and Blake on a parole board, emphatically refusing parole to Keenan, who is a prisoner who ate people and is deluded into thinking they're all still 'on the fence' about their decision. And apparently he'd eat his younger self if he could. I have to say, I can't decide which was funnier, Keenan's casual obliviousness or the other three being so damn emphatic.

I'm a little uncomfortable about the next one, Taran as an old man who wrote a song (sung by Blake) about his dead wife which was all sweet and then turned really unpleasant.. And I'm just wondering why they don't have any more recent photos of the wife?? Those were all 50s-era sepia shots. But the makeup team did an awesome job making Taran look old.

This is actually an unusual amount of in-sketch singing they've gotten Blake to do. Maybe they had as much faith in his acting abilities as I did. But he's done pretty well!

Last sketch of the night, Taran as a magician, who Blake keeps heckling from the audience. He wants Taran to use his powers to make him rich. And know what women are thinking. And he wants to be a black guy. Or have Wolverine claws. Or guns for hands. Or chicken nuggets with ranch. Or the power to go down on himself (hey, didn't you know, all you need for that is to remove two sets of ribs, just ask Marilyn Manson... Right?)

The end!! J.K. Simmons, a.k.a. the greatest male parental figure in Juno (I know he's been in other things, but I love that movie and I love him in it, so shhh...) is hosting next week, with a musical guest I've never heard of. So... yay! See you then!