Big Bang Theory - 'The Tangible Affection Proof'

Penny saved a guy's life by pointing out that he was choking, so then one of the busboys Heimliched him, and Leonard is kid of underwhelmed by this heroism tale. She doesn't really feel like doing anything for Valentine's day, and he calls himself a 'romance ninja' and says he's going to surprise her.
Despite Sheldon's best effort to change the subject, Amy persists in her query about what they should do for Valentine's day.
Howard demonstrates saying 'Okay' in a bunch of different voice tones into the phone (apparently he and Bernadette are both stressed and cranky) and Raj suggests to Stewart that he should have a party at the comic book store for all the lonely people.
Alex is enlisted by Sheldon, to buy a gift for Amy, apparently he has around two thousand dollars sitting around in his office. According to him, Amy likes monkeys, and the colour grey.
Howard makes Bernadette a tiny heart that's 1/1000th the size of a grain of sand and has their initials carved into it - "A micro-valentine for my micro-biologist" "From her micro-husband" says Leonard.

She already has a micro-Howard!!

Aaaand then he proceeds to drop it. So dinner with Leonard and Penny it is! Alex found some awesome gifts for Amy, but Sheldon hates the first 2 and then likes the third so much, he decides to keep it for himself.
At dinner, Howard and Bernadette are both in a really bad mood, because she hid his Xbox after he didn't do the laundry.
Raj makes Stewart very uncomfortable by saying he wishes Stewart was a girl, because then 'all their problems would be solved' haha.
Poor Penny gets put in a bad mood by the sight of her ex-boyfriend at the same restaurant - eating with her old friend, that he cheated on her with. Awkward.
When Leonard says that she should ignore them, because he and she are going to have a better night anyways, then she sees her ex pull out an engagement ring. Ohh boy. But she wouldn't let Leonard top him by getting down on one knee hahaha probably a wise move. But then she gets all mad, like nothing good is happening in her life, and Leonard goes 'um, ouch!'. But on the bright side, their bickering makes Bernadette and Howard think their argument is silly, and they make up. Clever Bernie hid the Xbox in the one place he'd never look - the washing machine!
When Amy arrives to find a reluctant Sheldon ready to go on their date, she tells him that she's changed her mind, and instead of having a fancy romantic dinner, she wants to just do what will make him happy, by staying at the apartment, ordering a pizza, and watching one of his 'Star Wars / Trek movies'. Whatever would make him happy. She's so precious!!
Getting his way, naturally, makes Sheldon really happy and - dare I say - grateful, and he thanks her, then presents her with his gift - a sheet of paper with his name and the university's logo at the top, and at the bottom, under 'emergency contact' it has her name and phone number! And she's so happy that she hugs him for an extended period of time haha
Penny and Leonard get home, and he confronts her about how she was behaving at the restaurant, and acting like she wants nothing to do with him, so then she gives a speech that I kind of hated, about how she keeps having commitment issues, and 'eventually she's going to just give in if he keeps asking' wow, what a lovely lukewarm sentiment... And then he makes an agreement with her, that if they date for long enough and she feels the time is right, then she has to propose to him. 

Like this!!

And then he says that he wants her to go the whole nine yards haha, but nothing on a Jumbotron - because he doesn't want to cry in front of a crowd.

NOT like this!

She agrees to that, and then takes his hand, looks deep into his eyes and says: "I have a very important question to ask you.. Leonard Hoffstadder.. will you be my Valentine?" I actually gasped halfway through that because a small part of me thought she was actually going to propose... Even though I knew it would make no sense.
AND THEN he killed me with laughter by saying "Sorry, maybe next year," and getting up, walking to the door, then when he gets to the door he turns around and goes "I'm just kidding, romance ninja, let's have sex! HOO-YAH!" OH MY GOD possibly the pest part of the episode.
Back at the comic book store, all the guys (and a few girls - hellooo?? What happened to the whole 'females never set foot in here' thing?!) are moping about, and then Raj gets up and makes a very Jeff-Winger-esque speech about how if they have each other and are miserable together, they're not really alone! He even threw in the word 'community' haha.. Then a girl comes up to him and, without really making eye contact with him, says she liked his speech and so he asks her out, and when they leave he turns around and shouts 'later, losers!' to the room. 

The Handsome Dude would be proud.

At the end, Amy is in her lab and her phone rings - it's Sheldon saying he thinks he's been bitten by a Chinese Bird Spider - apparently the bump 'feels Asian'. She refuses to drive over there to get him, because the day before he thought he had a brain tumour, and it was actually just an ice cream headache. Which confuses me, because they work at the same university, why does she have to 'drive' over there?? Anyway. As she's leaving, she says 'brain tunour would explain a lot' hahah and indeed, I think it would. After all, we all know, he can't be crazy - his mother had him tested!

SNL - Christoph Waltz & Alabama Shakes

Sooooo he won an Oscar, I guess I should get around to watching the episode of SNL he was on!!! Side note, did anyone else notice that 3 big winners: Christoph, Jennifer Lawrence, and Anne Hathaway hosted SNL this season?? Plus Seth McFarlane, Oscar host?!! Coincidence, or total psychic-ness?? None of the other nominees in those categories hosted! Weird! And Daniel Day-Lewis should totally host soon, his acceptance speech was written off the top of his head and HILARIOUS! Plus that would make them 4-for-4, even if one was after the fact and... kind of cheating. I could talk about the Oscars all day, I loved them this year, so I'm going to shut up here.
ON WITH THE SHOW!!!
The opening sketch is about the broken-down Carnival Cruise ship. Which, as Jon Stewart pointed out, CNN was paying waaaay too much attention to the last couple days. Sure it's gross, but there are way more important things happening in the world than some stranded tourists. They had supplies being dropped in, everyone was safe. Calm down, CNN. Apparently all the other news was bad haha... Which is true. The pope resigning, Oscar Psitorious, North Korea's nuclear crap... Was any of that on CNN?! Well, probably, but not much. This is why I don't watch the news. They're depressing. And Fred's awful-on-purpose Michael Jackson impersonation was about as bad as most of Fred's other impressions. But somehow that made it kind of funny.
I apologise for my grumpiness, I spent the last hour-ish stubbornly trying to find Jesse Eisenberg's SNL monologue with no luck, because SNL is really uptight about releasing free stuff, and hulu.com and nbc.com hate Canadians. Thumbs down.  

WHEREFORE ART THOU, YOU PRECIOUS MAN-CHILD???!!!!

What happened to the regular announcer guy?! That intro sounded like Bill Hader with a plugged nose...
Christoph is not German, he's Austrian! And he's the first German-speaking person to ever host the show. Good for him! Everyone's making fun of stereotypes from Austria - they do that about Canadians too! Stinkin' How I Met Your Mother... So he sings instead. That was pretty cute.
Now he's hosting a pointless game show where he interviews people about their lives that are kind of sad... It's called What Have You Become haha and they're like 'uhh... nothing' and that's depressing as hell!! Then they bring out old relatives of each of them, who also question what they have become. Then Bill and his rubber face start crying - and Aidy's character asks the host what he's become and he gets all sad too. Well then. For someone who's just been questioning her choice of school and career path, this was awkward and depressing.
Fauxmercial with Waltz as the Pope, Jason is talking about what he needs to do to ensure financial security once he retires. Well, they've got a pretty small customer base, don't they??

Clearly the Pope wants to join a rock band!!

Kevin Hart is hosting next week, but then AFTER THAT IS JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE I'M SO EXCITED!!!!
Nasim gets to be another adorably awkward character, a girl named Tippy who is late to understand jokes, that or she thinks something funnier is going to happen earlier than it does. And then she says stuff that makes everyone uncomfortable. But her facial expression and voice are PERFECT! Possibly loosely based on Amy Farrah Fowler.
Apparently Quentin Tarantino made another movie, about Jesus coming back to life and getting revenge. Also, he chopped Fred's head in half. Even though it was super-fake, it was VERY gross. But evidently less violent than Passion of the Christ lol
Taran and Cecily are trying to get 'straight up and down sexy' and so they're listening to The JeMarcus Brothers Jay and Keenan (Keenan was named Marcus JeMarcus, because he was 'named in a big old hurry' hehe) and then Christoph pops in as Engelbert JaMarcus and says stuff that makes no sense. And Cecily doesn't think there's anything weird about the clearly out-of-place 'adopted white virgin' but Taran is like 'what the hell is going on here?!' and it's funny but at the same time EXTREMELY uncomfortable.
Also, I'm not sure why Christoph has an accent ALL the time on the show, can't he do an American accent? I know he has in his movies, so why not now? Weird.
Watching online so I skipped the Alabama Shakes performance... Not really in the mood to listen to unfamiliar music, soo.... Sorry y'all, I'm sure they were great, but I'm tired.
YAY SETH!!! He can probably bring me out of my semi-lousy mood!! Apparently that weird senator who lunged sideways to drink some water during the State of the Union address ate a whole bag of peanuts and beef jerky beforehand. That makes sense. And now he's trying to redo the speech and he sounds like me with my very hoarse throat due to a cold, he di dthe cinnamon challenge and is lunging on front of poor Seth who was trying to HAND him the bottle. I AM DYING this was better than Jon Stewart's mockery of it.. Apparently Russians haven't heard Kelis' 'Milkshake' or 'Who Let the Dogs Out' by the Baha Men until recently.
Jay Pharoah is a funny guy I don't know - that basketball dude who makes huge elaborate speeches to all his 'personal friends' the players haha... He's awesome. And somehow when he says Dwight Howard, it sounds like 'Da White House'. Or maybe I'm just too tired. 

"I let a guy and his family vacation on my forehead for a week!"

Oh lord, I want Fred Armisen to leave. GTFO. His bitchy she-character Regine is annoying and not at all funny. And bitchy. And creepy. And also not funny. And since she's the only 'character' in the sketch, everyone else is just acting like normal people who are encountering this horrible person, so there are no laughs from me. And Fred's legs are freakishly skinny. For once I'm incredibly glad for the ad in the middle of the screen unless the video is fullscreened! OH MY GOD THEY CRACKED UP!!! Apparently Bill spilled wine all over Fred during dress rehearsal of this sketch lol..

PRICELESS when comedians crack themselves up!! (this is from dress rehearsal)

But Bill laughed!! And Fred actually laughed OUT LOUD and had to stop talking, that's so rare!! Props to Vanessa, who kept a straight face the whole time, that girl is a ROCK... And then Bill kept his glass pressed against his mouth for the rest of the scene, you just KNOW he was giggling!!! I love when he does that!!
YAAY Fox & Friends!! I love this sketch, especially Bobby's vacant facial expression, and all the 'corrections' they run at the end haha. Ted Nugent (Bill) thinks 'describe yourself in 1 word' means 'list 12 or so words', including 'wang', 'dang', and 'wheooooo!'. Apparently Christoph (who I seriously thought was Fred when he came on) can do a British accent, Bobby ate his passport instead of a pancake, and I just realised his eyebrows do NOT match his hair. 

Bobby's face. Ohhh Bobby's face.

AND NOW for the corrections!! Here are some good ones:
The 'T' in BLT does not stand for terrorism. (weird, I had a BLT today... definitely did not eat any terrorists)
The Vatican is not accessible through a wardrobe.
February is a month. (I really want to know what they said it was..)
The Constitution did not 'write itself'.
The real Abraham Lincoln lived longer than 3 hours.
A 'pin code' and a 'pine cone' are two different things.
Plants are alive, but they cannot watch TV.
The similar names of North Dakota and South Dakota are not a coincidence. (LOVE that one!)
And finally: Mumford's daughters are not in foster care. HAHAHA!!
The woman from Alabama Shakes sounds a little bit like Janice Joplin and scares me slightly, but I liked that song!

Her hair reminds me of Hagrid... It's just so... big!!

Christoph as a creepy security guard left a creepy love letter for Cecily at her desk and she's all 'OMG Demetri you have to question people and see if it's them!!' And he accuses Bill and Keenan and Jason, everyone but her knows that it was him. And he even included a picture of himself in a tank top leaning on a car that she thinks is Photoshopped... They go to leave and she finds another letter with a photo of a black guy's dick and Keenan's freaks out, 'it was totally you, Jason' hahaha nice how they switched that around at the end, I actually was not expecting that...
The host was not bad, he can only do so much with the material he was given, and unfortunately most of the stuff this week was awkward and uncomfortable. I'd have to say, the Fox & Friends sketch and Tippy were probably the best parts... Poor Christoph kept getting cast as a creepy or socially awkward dude, there's only so much he can do!
See you next week, and then after that...
I CAN'T WAIT FOR JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE!!!! GAAAH!!!!

NCIS:LA - 'Lohkay'

There's a guy running down the street, being chased by another guy running down the street. Then the first guy gets hit by a car and the driver of the car kidnaps him, but he dropped his bag. The second guy catches up, picks up the bag, looks inside it, and then looks after the car all upset-like. Well okay then.
Kensi andDeeks are going to a fiscal-responsibility seminar, and Kensi is begging Sam to help her not go - then when Deeks comes back in the room and Kensi leaves, he tells Sam he doesn't want to go either. This is not going to end well...
Sam answers the phone all freaked out, and says everything is not all right then storms off.
Eric broke his 'previous record' for sliding across the room in his chair. Okay then. Then Sam runs in and says that he needs them to look up something for him about an accident and they get worried when he tells him it's personal - they don't want to get in trouble with Hetty.
Someone's nephew was in an accident and is missing - but I didn't catch whose it was... Then Granger is all 'this is a job for the cops' and Sam goes 'no, I'm doing it'. Kensi and Deeks offer to help, then Hetty shows up and also says no, but Eric comes in and says he found the accident and there's a known terrorist-ambassador guy in the car behind the one that hit the nephew, by the name of Habib. How convenient... 

Where there's a celebrity, and a terrorist, around every corner.

Apparently the guy being chased stole a laptop, and the guy chasing him was the owner of the store he stole it from. But the guy got the laptop back.
Sam goes to visit his friend, the uncle, who works in a laundromat, and as they're talking, a black van drives past outside and starts shooting at them. So Sam shoots through the window and then jumps outside, shooting, and kills the shooter, but whoever was driving the van got away.
The shooter was a member of a terrorist group, naturally, and the uncle thinks it was the Taliban who attacked him and kidnapped his nephew. He escaped them when Sam had taken him to the USA, but they'd killed his entire family.
Clannen showed up late *gasp* and Sam decides he's going to take his friend into protective custody.
Deeks and Kensi go to the nephew Amir's house, and banter about how they know each other pretty well, but should get to know each other better (according to Deeks) and he knows everything about her, or claims to, so he read her memoir. Is that a thing? She has one? Nope, it was her diary hahaha and it was on her desk, so naturally he read it.  

And then he said this EXACT line!! Love it!!!

So when Kensi shoves him to the ground, he finds a gun under the bed.
Eric and Nell find another something suspicious, it's video from the electronics store with Amir talking to someone - didn't catch the name, possibly it was the shooter from the laundromat. Or some other evil henchman. It's hard to hear when the volume is down really low.
Sam goes to visit his friend in the 'safehouse' (which looks more like a 'safe shack' to me..) and asks if he knew anything about the people Amir was consorting with. The uncle says there's no way Amir could be mixed up with something shady, and Sam says he could have been trapped. The uncle says that Amir has a girlfriend, but he (the uncle) doesn't really liek her, because she's 'too American' and is a bad influence, therefore must be involved somehow.
Kensi is still mad at Deeks, he defends himself because he's a detective, and therefore he gets paid to snoop. She's now calling it a journal, thinks he got the idea about the financial seminar from the book and says maybe she's writing a book and he scoffs at the idea and she gets mad, then says he should tell her something about him that no one knows.
And then - HOLY CRAP - Deeks slowly, and with lots of prodding, admits that HE USED TO BE A STRIPPER. I AM DYING!!!! She mocks him, he defends himself, and says "It was very liberating - and humiliating" hahaha so she pulls out a few one dollar bills and waves them in his face and then slaps his butt. MAN I LOVE THOSE TWO!!!

Magic Mike 2, anyone??

The girlfriend, Nicole, says she had no idea about Amir being involved with anyone, other than he had bruises he didn't explain, but she doesn't like his uncle because he's too old-school and uptight.
Callen and Sam stake out a building, and see the shooter's brother leaving, then they follow him and see him go into a restaurant of some kind. Sam follows him in and he's talking on the phone, then the guy sees sam and takes off through a back door, so Sam follows (while Callen waits in the car) and they discover that he had left through a back window, so Callen pulls up and they speed off after the guy. Interesting, Callen's a better driver... But the bad guys somehow get behind them and shoot at them (right after Sam warns Callen about scratching the car, they shot out the back window - oops!) Then they do an awesome 180-turn in the middle of the street and shoot at the bad guys, killing the driver, and arrest the other one. Callen pops the trunk, he finds it full of semiautomatic weapons. Uh-oh.
In the midst of all that madness, Eric and Nell found emails on the stolen laptop from Amir to the terrorists, including a bunch of dates and places, including when the shootout at the laundromat took place. So he set up his own uncle. And there are a bunch of response emails, including the word 'ambassador' and the phrase 'death to all infidels'. And when Nell says that, Granger says the funniest line I think he's ever said:

"These guys really need some new material."

OH MY GOD!! The man has a sense of humour!! Who knew!! And he was so deadpan, of course, which made it even funnier - at first I didn't even realise that he'd just made a joke!
Back at Ops, Callen and Sam bicker about who's going to pay for the replacement window, and then Deeks, who is watching the traffic video from the chase, says "Wow you've got some sweet driving skills here" and Sam gets all huffy and admits it wasn't him - which, naturally, makes Deeks and Kensi shocked.
Hetty says that Sam's been making bad judgement calls because if his personal involvement in the case, and Callen looks all worried and she thinks there is going to be an increase in homegrowm terrorist cells.
When Kensi and Deeks go to talk to the girlfriend Nicole again, first bickering about the tickets for the symposium, which Deeks can't get a refund for, they see that the door has been kicked in, and she's in the process of being kidnapped by some scary guys. Kensi and Deeks take them out, but the girl Nicole gets shot in the stomach the process. Things get even more serious when Deeks finds a photo in the pocket of one of the terrorists - of Sam and Yousef, the uncle. Sam's face is circled, and the address of the laundromat is written on the back. They realise that the hitman was going after Sam.
Speaking of whom, we see him at the boatshed (apparently that's where Yousef was being held) and the agent who was supposed to be there is gone - Yousef is there, and so is Amir, because Amir called and Yousef told him where he was. Then suddenly there are a buch of guys pointing guns at Sam and say they're finishing unfinished business. Because finishing finished business would just be silly.
Nell, Hetty and Granger see that the GPS on Sam's car is parked outside the Boatshed, and all the security cameras have been disconnected - except for one. They realise that the boatshed has been breached (does this mean they need a new secret hideout?!) and Sam is hanging from the celing by his wrists being tortured. Hetty and Granger have different priorities - he wants them to trap and arrest Habib, she wants to rescue Sam, and - I'm paraphrasing here - 'to hell with Habib and the others'.

I know another Granger who needs to 'sort out their priorities'... Hehehe

The bad guys give a speech about how Amir wanted to kill Sam because he was the reason Amir's family was killed, because his uncle saved Sam from the Taliban. Then Habib turns on amir because he says he is a 'coward' for turning on his own family (the uncle) and that he's gonna kill him too. SO WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THIS WHOLE THING?!! This is why you don't hire hitmen... Idiot. Callen, Deeks and Kensi decide not to wait for a SWAT team, and Calllen mentions that he's going in through the basement (Causing Deeks to say 'We have a basement?!') and then Deeks and Kensi stage an argument outside, distracting one of the guards, while Callen sneaks in through a trapdoor (which he lifts about a foot before he can see out of it, like nobody would notice that, if they'd been in the room?!) that is apparently over the water, and in the floor of the interrogation room. How have suspects never noticed that was there?!
He and Deeks and Kensi storm in and shoot bad guys, and Sam pulls himself up by his arms and kicks a bunch. Why couldn't he have done that before? I mean, really. He's so strong..
All the evil terrorists are dead, but Amir says there will be more (dude, you're surrounded by agents, not a good idea to be making threats) and then Sam offers to place him in witness protection (OK maybe it was a good idea? Seems counterintuitive).
Then Amir freaks out and grabs a gun out of nowhere still intent on shooting Sam, his uncle tries to wrestle it from him and it goes off, shooting Amir in the stomach. Which, if you recall, was the same injury his girlfriend sustained earlier, but she survived and he didn't - because he was a bad guy. And that's how those things happen in Los Angeles. 

Land of the predictable plot lines...

Also, in the midst of all this, I realised that they actually have boats in the boatshed. Small ones, kayaks, really. Do they ever actually use those?! I don't think they use those.
Yousef is sad because now his whole family is dead, but Sam reminds him that they'll always have each other! Aww..
Hetty tells Sam that she forgives him for getting 'too involved' and shares a very expensive bottle of something with him - which, naturally, she will take out of his next paycheck. Oh, Hetty.

Bones - 'A Friend in Need'

This episode originally aired on Feb 18th, I'm trying to catch up before tonight's episode!
Homeless guy tries to sell a dirty suitcase to a pawn shop, and there's a body inside - so he turns to the owner and goes '50 cents?' haha
Booth is trying to do a crossword puzzle and Bones leans in to correct him - which is a weird coincidence, because I was doing crossword puzzles a lot this week while watching my Bones DVDs. Also, she's never heard of Gilligan's Island. Hooo boy!
Finn's back! And he can cook better than Hannibal Lecter. Good on him haha.
Hodgins thinks the cause of death is stupidity - as in 'Jackass stunt gone wrong' haha that's my boy!! Gotta say, after watching Season 2 on DVD for a week, I do like him now, beardless, better than I did with all the scruff. But I miss Zack!!! (Despite my love of Finn, Wendell et al). But of course, my favourite addition since then would have to be Sweets!!!
Speaking of whom, he and Booth are going to talk to the victim's family, apparently he was a 15-year-old named Martin/Manny, and their neighbour Delores and her daughter Kat (whose last name are Martin.. Weird)  is there and are really close to the family, so they're shocked. Apparently Manny was a bit of a loner, and had reluctantly gone to a party the night he disappeared, Kat convinced him to go to try and make new friends. Cam says she found the drug Ketamine in his system, and when Sweets repeatedly offers the family call a greif hotline, they refuse because they 'help each other out' and Delores says "We're not psychology people" which is a really weird thing to say... But kind of reminded me of Bones.

"I hate psychology."

Michelle scares the crap out of Finn (and me!) By sneaking up on him and covering his eyes, then saying that she lied to Cam about being in town, so she wants to stay at his place... I can't see this ending well hahaha
Booth finds a bunch of pulled-apart electronics in Manny's room, as well as a wad of cash. Kat says that he would 'fix' people's computers and phones and such. Angela says that all the phones were wiped, but Manny's wasn't - the only person he called was his mom, but he texted Kat a lot (seemed like he had a crush on her and she kept blowing him off) as well as a guy named Nick with some weird codes and numbers. And Angela and Cam have a very pointed conversation about how Michelle's not rebellious and Cam would know if she was lying, et cetera, and again - can't see that ending well.
Booth interviews the Nick guy, who says there was no drugs involved, he and Manny had a little business where he would rig people's phones for free downloads, erase their data limits, that type of thing. Manny was the brains of the operation, but never met any of the customers, that was Nick's end. Nick also saw him at the party, which he says was one of the best parties he'd ever been to.
Finn and Bones do some sciency stuff and discover cause of death, then Michelle calls Finn who had left his phone in Bone's office, he doesn't answer but Bones says she's called a lot of times, and then Cam shows up and is all 'I'm understanding, you miss each other'. SO. AWKWARD.
Brennan and Angela and Cam look at all the pictures online from the party the kids were at, he was apparently following Kat around and looking upset, there was a guy dancing with her and apparently they got in an argument. Booth interviews the guy who apparently is older than them. He says Manny interrupted their dancing and yelled at him, but he left and got a drink instead of fighting with him - however, Kat did yell at him and say she hated him and wished he was dead. Poor kid.
Bones and Finn are talking about teenagers making bad decisions, and he mutters (when she's out of earshot) that he wishes all his bad decisions were 'behind him'..
Kat comes in to talk to Sweets and acts surprised that he remembers her (why not, they only met a few days ago!) then he sneakily recorded their conversation and she tells him that she was raped at the party but doesn't remember it happening - all she remembers is one green eye. And she told her mother about it, but her mom said not to go to the police because 'if she doesn't know who did it then it's her fault'. What a bitch!!! And a horrible mother!!! Holy crap!! Kat denies taking any drugs (when they keep saying Special K it freaks me out because I think of cereal), but swears it couldn't have been Manny. Then Sweets leaves the room kind of abruptly and tells Booth and Bones, who say that apparently Manny hadn't actually ingested the drug, it was in a bag on him and then it decomposed as he did. Booth hypothesizes that he was dealing, and Bones observes that "A disproportionate number of drug dealers end up homicide vicitms". HAHA! It's true...
Sweets has to tell the D.C. police what Kat told him, because 'it's not a federal case' or some crap, Booth also gets all worried about him talking to a minor without a parent present (yea fat load of help the mother is!!) and then Kat gets all mad because she trusted him with her secret and he told someone. And he looks really sad. Poor both of them.
Finn shows Cam some injuries on the bones that are somehow random and specific at the same time. And then "one other thing - Michelle is in town visiting me". HAHAHA Cam is all shocked but then goes "You are in big trouble, Finn - with Michelle! Why are you telling me?!" And he's all confused and it makes him even more adorable. Especially considering he phrased it "I'm mighty confused right now". So Cam hatches a scheme for him and Michelle to meet somewhere, for him to tell her the location and she would 'happen' upon them, that way he would save face, she would get to be mad at Michelle, and Michelle would think it's just a coincidence. NOT GOING TO END WELL I SWEAR. But that scene was hilarious!

Cue Wanda from Corner Gas and her 'schemey fingers' hahaha I miss that show...

The bitch-mom continues being a bitch, says she hated the way Manny 'looked at' Kat and 'once those hormones started flowing I had to get him away from her', that she knew it was him as soon as Kat told her, and so she confronted him and he said nothing, the blood drained from his face and he ran off. Which, clearly, means he's guilty. I would like to punch this woman.
Bones tells her off, and Delores goes 'well if I told the police, then it'd ruin her reputation', you know, because that's logical, as opposed to a girl thinking her mother doesn't care about her and she's all alone!! But Finn and Bones realise that Delores wasn't strong enough to cause Manny's injuries.
Then Kat confronts Sweets outside the FBI building and says he couldn't understand what happened to her (I realise she's really small, holy crap, altho I guess it's cos JFD is 6 feet tall). He tells her that he was beat when he was in a foster home as a kid, by his foster father - I guess that's where those awful whip marks on his back came from.

The ones they 'accidentally' forgot this season when he was shirtless in Episode 5... CONTINUITY!!!

Poor sweet Sweets! He looks like he's going to cry... Oh lord I want to hug him!!! He says he was helped by a psychologist, and he can find someone to help her too.
Cam and Finn carry out their little sneaky-plan, Cam reams out Michelle (and Finn), Michelle feels bad, Cam walks off 'angrily' (but when we see her face she's giggling haha I love her) and then Michelle turns to Finn and hugs him, apologises for getting him caught up in the middle of it and says he's the best. He makes a face like 'well, that went better than expected' which makes him really adorable again.
Angela Sweets and Brennan go back through the pictures from the party (I gotta say, those are some of the most random things for people to be taking pictures of, half the time there's no obvious subject, but the characters are conveniently down in the corner...) and they find and follow Kat this time. Also, Bones has been reading Sweet's psychology books in the tub. Because for some reason, he leaves them in the bathroom. After Manny leaves, she goes back to the older guy, but apparently he's found a new girl by this point so she goes and sulks, and some dude (whose face you can't really see) offers her a drink. A few minutes later, she's hardly able to walk, and she and the dude disappear.
When Michelle goes to Cam's office to apologize and says she 'hopes Cam won't take it personally', Cam says that she (Michelle) was 'personally' avoiding her (Cam) 'personally' so it's 'very hard not to take it personally'. Ok I am loving whoever wrote this plotline - then Cam spills that Finn told her the whole thing, Michelle gets mad but Cam defends him so they decide to keep Michelle's knowledge a secret

This is all so complicated....

So they decide to keep no secrets whatsoever - then Cam admits that she is dating Vasiri, Michelle is shocked and says she's going to have to keep that a secret, and Cam goes 'oh crap'.
They figure out that Manny was killed by 3 ratcheting straps around the suitcase - then they remember that the Nick guy works at a moving company. I'm creeped out, because we have straps exactly like those at my house - we use them to tie bikes to our tent trailer.
Nick says he had the ketamine because that's how one of their 'clients' paid them, and he gave it to Manny after the party becasue he didn't want the stuff, and it was worth a lot of money anyways. Sweets storms in and screams at Nick that he must have raped Kat, because he had a green thing that looked like an eye (really creepy) on a string around his neck. Nick says that Manny confronted him after the party because he thought that Nick had raped Kat, and admits to hitting Manny but says that was it. Then Booth takes Sweets aside (in the same room) and says 'how could you do that, now we can't arrest him for both, even if he admits to it, because Kat lied about her age, meaning she was on Ketamine' and I'm very confused because that's a load of bullshit - until Nick says 'ok, I did it' and THEN I realise what they're up to. Bones calls him stupid ahaha and he's all confused, says Booth lied - and Booth goes 'no, I didn't, I can charge you with the murder, but the D.C. Metro Police will be the ones charging you for rape'. AHAHA SO CLEVER!!!
Sweets gives Kat and her mother (who have matching roots, I notice) the news and Kat starts crying, then he says "She needs professional help - and she needs your help". Then they start crying and hugging, and Sweets does that thing where his jaw quivers a little and he looks down like he's about to tear up, and I want to hug him again!! Darn his cuteness!!
Booth and Brennan are back at home and playing with Christine and she mentions that she's much smarter than him, but he let Sweets think he broke the case even though he already knew the answer, asks if he ever does that to her and he denies it (but I can tell he's lying!) and then she says she's researched Gilligan's Island, and the premise makes no sense to her. Of course. Her own show probably wouldn't make any sense to her either!

Big Bang Theory - 'The Spoiler Alert Segmentation'

Leonard's reading Harry Potter and Sheldon tells him (spoiler alert) that Dumbledore dies in The Half-Blooded Prince. HOW RUDE!! Although I spoiled that one for myself by flipping to the end because I was afraid Hermione was going to die, and I wanted to make sure she didn't...
Sheldon thinks Leonard's turning into a whiny woman because of the estrogen in soy milk - reminded me of this scene:

Then Leonard says that he hates Sheldon and the roommate agreement, throws it in the trash, Sheldon flips out, Leonard decides he's going to go live with Penny, and Sheldon pulls another douchey-spoiler-move and tells him Dobby dies in Deathy Hallows. ALL THE FANGIRL TEARS!!!

Raj is returning Howard's suitcase because Howard and Bernadette are going to Vegas with her company, and then Howard asks Raj to please check in on his mom. But Raj goes "Dude, I'm a single guy, Saturday is my party night!" And Howard laughs, and the audience laughs, and I laugh... But eventually he agrees to it, because he realises his life is sad.

When Leonard tells Penny about him moving out, she says it's too bad, and compares the two of them to Bert and Ernie hahaha - a comparison that is totally valid, shape-wise



"You guys even teach me stuff, about numbers and words!"

She freaks out when Leonard says he wants to move in with her, then spoils more of the Harry Potter books for him and tries to dissuade him, but it doesn't work.
HOLY CRAP WE FINALLY (kind of) SEE MRS. WALOWITZ!!!! She walks past the kitchen door as she's telling Raj he should have dessert!!

Do you see that floral nightgown?? Do you?!!!

Even the live audience kind of gasped, haha clearly they were not expecting it!! I have no clue how Howard has stayed so skinny for so long, with all the food she's heaping on Raj. Then he wants to leave, and she starts crying because she's lonely - so he decides to stay, and she walks past the door a couple more times and looks like Fat Monica hahaha all the Friends references (being made by my own brain) are killing me!
Sheldon and Amy are trying to divide up all the stuff in the apartment between himself and Leonard, and then she suggests that she move in, since she's familiar with his personality 'quirks' and they're intellectually compatible, bla bla - he keeps saying 'um' and she decides she's going to move in, since he's not arguing!
'Good buddy Leonard' becomes Sheldon's new name for when he's knocking on the door - wearing violet pants, no less - and says he wants Leonard back in the apartment. Plus he has a 'new, devil-may-care bathrooom schedule!'
Raj wakes up, in Howard's old bedroom, because he ended up spending the night in Howard's pyjamas - satin PJs on silk sheets made him slide out of the bed like 3 times. I have a friend who has silk sheets haha, she hates them because they're slippery and not warm at all. And Mrs. Walowitz is making him breakfast and took his clothes, so he's trapped!
Sheldon wants Penny to kick Leonard out, because Amy is buying 'his' and 'hers' towels, and he doesn't want to dry himself with something that has a posessive pronoun on it! So Penny admits that she doesn't want Leonard living with her yet, and says she will kick him out, even though it will probably make him upset.
Raj is still trapped and now Howard's mom is going to bathe him, she's taken his keys away, and Howard is like 'whoops, too bad' and they abandon him haha. But he still has his phone - why doesn't he call the cops and say there's a crazy fat lady holding him hostage?? Maybe he'll try that next episode.
Amy gets all upset and screams "what the hell, Sheldon?!" when he says she can't move in. So then instead of saying 'um' again, he blames it on Penny, and the four of them have a screaming match in the hallway. So they end up back with their original living arrangements, and the set designers don't have to do any work rearranging stuff. Oh happy day!
And Raj tries to climb out of the window but Mrs. Walowitz pulls him back in - we saw her arm! - which is just as well, because if he had jumped and landed in the garden, he probably would have really hurt himself.

HIMYM - 'Ashtray'

HALLELUJIAH!!! With this episode, I'm finally done catching up - on How I Met Your mother. I still have (yep, I keep a running tally) 2 episodes of CSI, 1 Glee, 3 Big Bang Theory, 1 Bones, and 1 SNL left to watch. Good greif, here I am on the Friday reading week and have done nothing. Haven't read, either. I should probably get on that, too. 

I've been too busy doing this ^

Ted has a message, which is weird because he still has an answering machine! The Captain randomly called him. UH-OH!
He could be pissed. Or murderous. Or neutral. Because Ted got back together with Becky (the Boats Boats Boats girl), and Barney wasn't there, even though he thinks he was. Then Lily invited him to the gallery and the Captain showed up. And started interrupting everything Ted said. Then Ted did the same, and high-fived a waiter.
The Captain invited them over to see his new painting, says hello to his 'one true love' and kisses a photo of someone, and then Ted confronts him about possibly being mad about him and Zoe - so the Captain points a harpoon gun at him O.O
Then once everyone leaves the room, Ted looks at the picture of his 'one true love' and it's Becky!! Double uh-oh. 

Boats boats boats!!! Of course the Captain loves her!!

So when the Captain calls back, he asks for Robin's number and Barney says Ted should not give it to him, goes 'wait a minute, could I sleep with someone else then?' has an out-loud mental argument, slaps himself, decides he and Robin are in fact not seeing other people, but gives Ted permission anyway, because Robin won't mind.
She shows up in the next scene, and minds very much. Then it turns out that Ted and Becky had shared a 'sandwich' before going to the gallery opening - which makes it a very different story from the one Ted told. The Captain was cutting him off because Ted couldn't finish his sentences on account of him being all 'sandwiched-up'. 

Really, with all the inappropriate stuff he tells his kids, he leaves out WEED?!!
And he screamed every time the Captain walked in. Teehee.

And Ted's inner monologue about the Captain being a jerk and him sticking it to his ex-wife (repeatedly) was actually out loud. Awkward!! And the Captain was actually hitting on Robin. And Ted was about to break the crystal ashtray that he earlier said was 'so expensive that it obviously meant he could afford an island to hunt people'. And The Captain had really pulled out and aimed a remote control, to PVR the Real Housewives.
He hit on Robin and invited her back to his bedroom and she said no, to call her in a year and a half, which sends Barney on a long rant about how their relationship is going to dissolve and he wants to be in a threesome...
So Robin calls the Captain and he actually wanted to talk to Lily, but got their names mixed up. (Also, when she asks him if he can hold, he says "Dropping anchor" teehee!) Marshall says Lily won't mind giving out her number, but it turns out she does, and she starts crying and tells her version of events - Ted was 'sandwiched up', and Robin was drunk. And Barney still wasn't there.

"NO, Barney - just, no!"

 Ted actually didn't high-five the waiter, he hit the tray and knocked over the waiter. And the photo that the Captain kissed and called his 'love' was a photo of his boat (Becky was just in the corner). Lily wanted the Captain to buy an elephant painting to replace the blah 'fancy' one in his bedroom, but he hated it and said she was 'just a kindergarten teacher'. So she pulled out the old Aldrin Justice move on him and stole the ashtray. So Marshall and Lily argue.
Barney is sad that he wasn't in the story, so Ted says 'OK fine, you were there' and that he pulled the play from the Playbook on the art consultant (apparently an old Prussian army uniform and an oil painting of yourself are household items)

Because everyone has one of those just lying around. I have 3 in my basement.

and he totally nailed her. Naturally.
Lily is sad because she never pursued her dream of being an artist, and Marshall consoles her but she's really sad and says she'll return the ashtray, which she does but he didn't know it was gone. So that wasn't why he called. He actually bought the elephant. And is going to sell it for 4 million dollars. Because the painter is now hugely famous. SO he hires Lily as his new art consultant!! Hooray!!
And we get to see one more play from Barney's book lol (apparently the art consultant did actually run off with some 'archduke' that night lol typical Barney, changing the course of time with one well-crafted story).