SNL - Elizabeth Banks

This opening was great. Offering hope and solidarity with the people of France after terrorist attacks. A note of sensitivity that SNL sometimes misses. I also didn't know Cecily spoke French, and I'm very proud of her for her delivery, I could tell it was rough and at a few points she seemed on the verge of tears. But she did an excellent job.

Full disclosure - I missed this episode and I was disappointed about that (I love Elizabeth Banks) because my roommate decided I needed to go out with her and socialize. Can't really argue with her on that one.

Elizabeth Banks starts the show wearing a ball gown. God this woman is wonderful. And singing 'Flashdance (what a feeling)'?! She's my spirit animal.

Let's just say the first fauxmercial was creepy.

Black Jeopardy! These ones are always super awkward lol Elizabeth makes a good clueless college-age hippie girl lol. Of course the correct answer is that Tupac is still alive!

It's kind of hilarious when they make the girls into a little 90s-type girl group - Vanessa used to have a crush on the Menendez brothers? That's messed up, girl... THOSE WHITE OUTFITS THOUGH!!! And I don't blame Cecily for liking TRL-era Carson Daly. He's a cutie.

He looks like he just wandered onto the set and they gave him a mic

LMAO OH GOD THOSE HIGH-SCHOOL WEIRD DRAMA KID PEOPLE. There were definitely kids like that at my high school. They weren't performance artists though, they were visual art students. Just as obnoxious, but a little easier to ignore.
"It says the proceeds from tonight's show go to Neil Patrick Harris... He doesn't need that!"
And plot twist: Aidy says her mom's dead, and Vanessa's in the audience and is actually her mom...

UPDAAAAAAATE!!!! Now they're allowed to make fun of Trump! YAAAY!!! 'Jeb Hitler' actually made me laugh out loud and I got shushed by my dad. Oops.
BTW the Starbucks cup controversy is so much horseshit. This is all I have to say on the matter:
1) The fact that they're red already acknowledges the holiday season. They could have just been left white!

Such religion. So Christ-ly. 

2) THERE ARE MUCH MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO CARE ABOUT IN THE WORLD, GET YOUR HEADS OUT OF YOUR OWN ASSES!!!!
Pete has some good points about the whole stupid 'Transgender people are only transgender so they can watch women pee' argument. Well done, Pete. (And he broke slightly hahaha 'Cecily has a beautiful singing voice... That was my favourite line')
Ughh... I love Kyle but I hate his character Bruce Chandling. The whole schtick is that he's a 'comedian' who isn't funny... But the bit itself isn't funny... So it's just uncomfortable. WHY DO THEY KEEP DOING THIS?!!
Caffeinated peanut butter is a thing?! This is what I need for breakfast... Although maybe not after what Michael said about it. Ew. Apparently a 3-piece bikini in Russia is a shirt, pants, and a big heavy coat! That sounds like a Canadian 3-piece bikini. (It started snowing today. Ugh).

OMG yes a sketch about the stupid stories Ben Carson tells, trying to seem like he used to be all tough. Jay Pharoah's impressions are perfect. I love him so much. Belts can stop all the weapons! Why don't people wear belts all over? For safety!

Bobby as an awkward extra in a TV show... his character is accused of being a pervert, and speaking of 'extras', the new SNL cast member makes his first and only appearance all episode as the guy who closes the clapboard. Who are you and where have you been all week?! And he's like 'wait people are gonna think I'm actually a pervert?!' Seems like that episode of Drake & Josh where Josh plays a criminal in a re-enactment and everyone thinks he's the real criminal.

Woah woah woah, just take it easy, man! 

Wait, is Mike O'Brien still doing things? I thought he left? He cast himself as the worst Uber driver ever. Why the hell would she even get out of the car with him? Aww now they're friends and I'm so confused. Girl, you coulda just walked to your destination. Aaaand now they're getting rid of a dead body together. And taking his wife to the hospital. Weird. 

The next sketch is the best little sketch about perspective and first-world problems. Like "OMG I had to eat my sushi with a fork cos the delivery guy forgot to bring me chopsticks." Elizabeth taking two Ubers in one episode? Does she drive herself anywhere?! But at least they agreed to stop saying 'ghetto' forever. Yaaaay progress!! 

And she said 'God Bless Paris' during the goodbye. What a sweetheart. Love you Elizabeth Banks! Never change!! (And hopefully come back and host SNL over and over and over and over again!!)

SNL - Blake Shelton

I don't know a lot about Blake Shelton, other than he's a country singer, a judge on The Voice and has a bromance with Adam Levine.  No idea how he'll do as an actor, but I guess he can't do any worse than Justin Beiber...

Teehee.

The cold open is about that weird football inflation scandal.. I think Taran is channeling his own Ashton Kutcher impression for this Tom Brady impression. And Kate got to scream at someone, Bobby got to scream back at her... Basically, this whole thing being blown out of proportion (I see what I did there).

Yeeeah, nobody thought you were.

Blake referred to himself as the 'Justin Beiber of country music' and oh dear, that's really not a compliment, you know... Oh so now he's going to sing the monologue hahaha. I wonder if he's gonna be able to hide his accent at all in the sketches? Leslie's wearing a blonde wig and wants to be excused.

Parody of The Bachelor with Blake as a country guy from Iowa trying to convince a bunch of girls to marry him and move to Iowa with him. They're basically all clones of each other and don't care about how crappy his hometown is. This is pretty much like what the actual Bachelor is like, I swear. And then Aidy throws a loop in the pattern and starts crying about her dad dying (ten years ago). I'm surprised they didn't have any of the guys dressed in drag for this sketch.

Pictured: Literally any season of The Bachelor. Ever.

Now Blake (in a bad wig), Kate, and Aidy (in a wig reminiscent of one of the Judd sisters) are singing a song about a 'wishing boot' that comes to answer the prayers of people... this is so weird... The song almost sounds like a commercial. For food. (PS Seth Meyers tweeted that he loved this sketch. So who am I to question the master?)

(Commercial break) What the heck, they made another Spongebob movie? This one kinda/sorta live action?? But... why?!

FAMILY FEUD!!! I love Keenan's impression of Steve Harvey!! And everyone else's impressions of other people!! Really, Blake's playing himself? They couldn't pretend he was some other country singer? Taran's impression of Adam Levine is awesome. I forgot Keith Urban (Kate) was Australian... Sasheer's pretty funny as Nicki Minaj! Beck looks nothing like Harry Connick Jr. (Or Michael Buble, for that matter). And I love Kyle, but his Steven Tyler could use some work. Although A+ job by the costume department on him!! Very accurate!! And apparently Adam and Blake just want to make out (off-camera, of course).

He DID steal it from Smokey the Bear!! I knew it!!

I've never liked country music. A lot of people at my university do, and for some reason there are a disproportionate number of country bars in my hometown, but it has 100% never been my thing. Other than a little Martina McBride and Shania Twain when I was really small. But that was more pop than country...

UPDAAATE!!! Everyone's so excited about the State of the Union - especially him LITERALLY BURNING JOHN BOEHNER WHICH WAS AN AWESOME JOKE!!! More football jokes... And all I could think of is this:

Bobby plays Riblet, Michael's friend from childhood, mocking his job, who apparently has been reading 'since he was 15'. So he does a bunch of the jokes. Is this Bobby auditioning to take over Update? As long as he doesn't take Jost's job, I'm cool.
Colin too deadpannly said that joke about his dad never hugging him... AND THEN HE SMILED AND NODDED VIGOROUSLY AFTER ONE OF MICHAEL'S JOKES!! I'LL TAKE IT!

Pete is apparently afraid he might be gay, he wrote this piece just to convince his girlfriend that he isn't - and says Colin's a straight 8, and a gay 10. I think he's more of a straight 9... And I can't speak for gay people. But his reaction to the audience screaming over him was adorable. And Michael thinks Colin look stupid in instant reply, but I DISAGREE!!

Michael's ex-girlfriend (Sasheer) is reporting for them and they just keep arguing - Colin doesn't want to be dragged into this, so he wheels offscreen - NO COLIN SWEETIE COME BACK WE WANNA SEE YOU! Turns out this girl is dating someone new - AND IT'S RIBLET!! Hahahah

Good job Riblet. I hope we see more of this guy.

 (Commercial break) OK can we seriously stop putting covers of famous songs into commercials?!! It's driving me nuts! Don't get me wrong, I love peanut butter, but I don't need to associate Elton John's 'Your Song' with those Kraft teddy bears!!!! Grrr...

I don't really see the point of this next sketch, Cecily, Bobby and Blake on a parole board, emphatically refusing parole to Keenan, who is a prisoner who ate people and is deluded into thinking they're all still 'on the fence' about their decision. And apparently he'd eat his younger self if he could. I have to say, I can't decide which was funnier, Keenan's casual obliviousness or the other three being so damn emphatic.

I'm a little uncomfortable about the next one, Taran as an old man who wrote a song (sung by Blake) about his dead wife which was all sweet and then turned really unpleasant.. And I'm just wondering why they don't have any more recent photos of the wife?? Those were all 50s-era sepia shots. But the makeup team did an awesome job making Taran look old.

This is actually an unusual amount of in-sketch singing they've gotten Blake to do. Maybe they had as much faith in his acting abilities as I did. But he's done pretty well!

Last sketch of the night, Taran as a magician, who Blake keeps heckling from the audience. He wants Taran to use his powers to make him rich. And know what women are thinking. And he wants to be a black guy. Or have Wolverine claws. Or guns for hands. Or chicken nuggets with ranch. Or the power to go down on himself (hey, didn't you know, all you need for that is to remove two sets of ribs, just ask Marilyn Manson... Right?)

The end!! J.K. Simmons, a.k.a. the greatest male parental figure in Juno (I know he's been in other things, but I love that movie and I love him in it, so shhh...) is hosting next week, with a musical guest I've never heard of. So... yay! See you then!

SNL - Kevin Hart

This is really late in going up so I'm just gonna be brief..

The opening sketch with Pete writing a report on Martin Luther King, Jr. and Keenan (as MLK) talking to him about the state of the world today. And yes, Selma should have been nominated for more Oscars. Total bullcrap. That sketch made a lot of good points! And I think Pete might have gotten his first 'Live from New York' intro! Yaay for him!

Kevin Hart is afraid of a ton of wild animals eating his dog - where does he live, Australia?? And a raccoon tried to break into his house.

I have heard so much about this next part - Kate's parody of Justin Bieber's Calvin Klein commercial. She really looks short! And douchey! Excellent impersonation!

I see no difference.

Kevin hosting a talk show about why people post various things on Instagram - and he yells at them. Then sends them into 'the wall'. And I think they had a minor glitch there because the couch actually ran into the wall first before it went through the hole. I hate it when people post pictures of their injuries online. It's gross. And you could not possibly avoid seeing it!

Kevin and Jay and Keenan taking the subversion of expectation thing to the extreme - acting like tough guys and then throwing in left turns all over the place - like his 'bitches' being the dogs he walks, and going to Martha's - which is an artesinal mayonnaise place. But then Kevin shot a dude. So that's unpleasant.  But I see what they did there - they subverted the expectation once you caught on to their subversion of expectations. Mind games.

Not pictured: Kevin's 10 bitches.

Kevin as James Brown, asking each individual member of his band if they want to get more funky. And they're all pretty non-committal about it. And now they need to figure out who's going to bring out the capes. Cos Samantha won't. This bit is so goofy I actually love it. Everyone wants chicken parm (with mustard?)

 Beck looks like my uncle.

Aidy is hosting a talk show with a reunion of the cast of a really old soap opera. Why did they need a couch that big for two people. Vanessa's character's entrance music sounds all fartsy and she keeps complaining about it and everyone else doesn't notice that there's anything different about it.. And the sound director (Kevin) speaks English but doesn't understand it. Which makes no sense.

MORE BEIBER UNDERPANTS AD!!! He (well, she) looks like a giant baby in the underpants and tanktop. And that poor model (Ceily) hahaha

Airplane!!!

OK Sia, I love your voice, but why are you wearing a mini tutu over your face? All I want to see now is the sketch Jim Carrey did when he hosted hahah with the Sia dancer-costume and they ran all over the studio. Remember that? That was pretty great.

UPDAAATE!! I've missed my boy Colin... And he did a Jersey accent and it was not great, but adorable. He brings out a woman from his building (Kate) to talk about how to get along with your neighbours. Pretty cute.

There's a smile!! I see a Jost smile!! All is right again

Colin also does his impersonation of a stoned guy. Not bad. Some pretty decent jokes this week. Not nearly enough that made Colin crack up, though.

The next bit was really dramatic singing Medieval people (Keenan, Sasheer, Cecily, Taran) singing about needing to leave their homeland/castle and move on because their homeland is too dangerous. While Kevin walks between them asking sensible things like 'whose shirt is this?' and reminding them that they don't have time to keep singing, they need to leave.

Kevin is not impressed with your vocalizing, Taran. (But I am)

 This is hilarious!! Especially because he's so short and he's just running around all ineffective and jumped onto Taran because a dragon scared him. And then as a plot twist, Leslie makes her first appearance of the week as Kevin's wife and sings some more (but convinces them to leave) and tells Kevin that if he left without her, she'd kick his ass.

HE'S SO TINY!!!

Leslie shows up again in the next bit, and tells Kevin (as himself) that she slept with him several years ago and had a kid with him - Jay, bringing his best impersonation game - and Kevin is telling her that clearly he couldn't be his son because 'he's 6 foot 2' (Actually he's 6 foot 1) and that's bullshit because Leslie is so tall that the height could come from her side... BUT THEY WERE SO ACCURATE WITH THE SAME MANNERISMS I WILL SET ASIDE THE CRAPPY GENETIC LOGIC!!

I'm not sure if the mime going along with Sia's next song is actually doing proper sign language... But if he is, that's pretty cool. And god, her voice is remarkable.

Kevin showing off his new rap album to his friends - turns out it's about all their secrets. And he keeps yelling 'pew pew pew bap bap gunshot sounds' He has so much energy jumping around, I'm loving this!

Alright, that's it for this episode, Blake Shelton is next week! (And by next week, I mean tomorrow night... Ooops)

Saturday Night Live - Martin Freeman

It wasn't until 5:00 today that I remembered it's Saturday, and therefore SNL was on tonight...
I have no idea what day of the week it is anymore. Exams are the Britta of school.

They're the worst.

For that reason, my BBT blog is late this week, and my NCIS:LA one probably will be too. Sorry. And I may just fall asleep in the middle of this one.

The opening interview is with two guys (Bobby and Kyle, who finally gets to play an adult) who are the guys who invented all the torture methods for the CIA. They also invented the self-checkout lane at grocery stores, and the customer service at the cable companies. And auto-correct. Damn these guys.

Martin Freeman is adorable. He'd be perfect for an elf - doesn't even need the prosthetic ears! He proceeds to list every single role on his IMDb page... Except Sherlock, oddly enough... Give it up for racial unrest!! (No one does). Apparently all famous British people hang out together. I got really excited for a second that the real Maggie Smith would be there, but it's just Kate doing an impersonation - Taran got to do an Alan Rickman-worthy Snape. And yea, Maggie Smith is classy enough to wear the Downton Abbey costume as pyjamas. She's the best. And if Martin embarrasses himself, I'll need to change the title of this post to 'SNL - Colin Firth' hahaha.

Bow down to this woman. Do it. It's the law.

Keenan stars in a wannabe Digital Short piece called 'Sump'm Claus' about a dude who will give everyone some money even if they've been naughty enough for Santa Claus to cross them off his list. It's an odd concept, but I will say this - incredibly catchy.

Martin is like a head shorter than Leslie. Even moreso with her hair all pouffy like that. And they're getting married! By Beck. She's a basketball player, he's... tiny. All their wedding guests are objecting to them getting married. Apparently they have only known each other for five days. And have done it like 50 times. Then they fight when they're not... getting busy. And apparently he's already married. I'm so confused. The bride has a lot of kids (double three, plus four), and Kenan is her dad - who's the mother? Kenan is a LOT shorter than she is. Genetics. Apparently Martin lied and told her he was the king of England. but they're good. I think the bride's name is Alberta. And if so, that's the second time they've used that name for a character this season. Branch out a little - try another Canadian province. Nova Scotia, perhaps? Sooo a bunch more people object, then he says he 'needs his chocolate' and they are pronounced husband and wife without saying 'I do' or anything. There was like zero resolution to that sketch.

OH DEAR GOD HE'S WEARING THE HOBBIT COSTUME!! They're doing an Office parody, Middle-Earth-style. Bobby sounds nothing like Gandalf. And Taran is Gollum, which is such an insane disguise that I had to stare at him to figure out who it was. Kyle is Legolas. And he's cute, but c'mon, he's no Orlando. It wasn't a bad concept for a sketch.

Taran and Cecily are a couple with their own talk show and they all talk like stereotypical sassy gay men (including Cecily) and Martin is a handyman they're going to interview later on but they keep throwing to him, keeping the camera on him for an awkwardly long time, then talking about how cute he is. Then he dances for no reason. And Kate is playing Keith Urban, and Taran's license plate is apparently DRAMANQN.

Fauxmercial for church, and I'm just nodding and laughing - especially at the priest who alternates talking speeds, and the sweaty-palmed guy who gives the sign of peace. I'm not going to lie, my mom has definitely been that over-enunciating reader lady. And Kyle's a kid again.

MUUUUUUUUUUUUTE. I hate this song. And she's not wearing pants. They're probably supposed to be shorts, but they're white and puffy, so they kinda look like a diaper. Isn't she cold?? IT'S WINTER FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!! She also has like, zero facial expression. Which is weird.

OK I might just be going crazy because I'm so tired, but the announcer voice saying 'Weekend Update' sounded a lot less like Darrell Hammond and a lot more like Bill Hader. WHICH I WOULD LOVE BY THE WAY!! #HaderForSNLAnnouncer 
I noticed the price of oil was lower lately - it was like 96 cents (Canadian) a liter this week and everyone was freaking out. Sasheer is mad that there are no black people in emoji. She has a point. Especially that the moon face looks like a baby Charles Barkley. Colin does not understand their equations, so Michael has to translate.
Cecily is a one-dimensional female character from a male-driven comedy. She's discussing the lack of important female roles in Hollywood. And then she gets upset with Colin and he's really confused (although I think she's actually laughing). What record store?? And she took off her glasses!! So he noticed her! That was a good bit.

I don't see her...

Apparently Colin's high school yearbook picture got made fun of. But I think he's adorable (although I've seen the *after* photo, so I'm biased).

HAHAHAHAHA ok the hair's unfortunate. But that's a good solid chin. He grew into the chin.
And no one looks good in black and white.

 Hasn't this Jacob kid had his bar mitzvah 'recently' like 3 years in a row? Michael calls him on the fact that he doesn't actually have a lawyer. And then he starts crying about Derek Jeter. And can't high-five Michael properly.

Martin is training Taran on his first day at a new job (an assembly line that puts the labels on ketchup bottles) and literally all he has to do is move a lever. EASIEST JOB EVER. But Taran doesn't understand anything. "So I don't touch it?" "I'm miming!"
"Pull the lever when the light turns green, if it turns yellow push it back up." "Blue?" "There is no blue!" A little reminiscent of Who's on First. Also the slowest-moving assembly line ever. And then is turns blue! Oh no!

My TV has turned all stripey. Or maybe that's my eyes that have turned all stripey. They hurt. I've been staring at a sketchbook for the last 3 hours, and a computer screen studying for 3, then an exam paper for 2 before that. Ow.

Martin has hilarious hair. He's a saxophone player (reminiscent of Kenny G) in Kenan's lodge house band, and he has something weird going on with some dude named Roman in his personal life that he doesn't walk to talk about. During a performance, of a song with only like 6 words. Kenan was staying with him and there was a break-in and his red boots were stolen. They look like the boots from Kinky Boots. There was no resolution there either. What's up with that? (I wish...)

Wrong red boots. Wrong person whose name begins with a T. But they've both kissed Cobie Smulders...

MUUUUUUTE AGAIN. She's actually wearing pants now. But they have... Things hanging off of them. And she's flailing her arms and I'm afraid she's going to dislocate a wrist. Her guitar players (who I've just only now noticed are women in suits, rather than long-haired dudes) look very angry.

Martin is an over-enthusiastic waterbed salesman. Aidy is his jingle-singing wife, who is slightly cross-eyed and extremely overdressed. The Doritos clown is not a real thing. Aidy is awesome. Jay and Taran are shirtless, looking pissed and holding sparklers. Martin's American accent is really excellent. He reminds me 100% of Niles from Frasier. Uncanny.

Colin in a T-shirt again during the goodbyes. *Swoons*. Those arms are like tree trunks. In a good way. And now, I'm off to bed!

Saturday Night Live - Cameron Diaz

I'm really sleepy, so this is going to be breif (sorry it's so late, but I went home for the weekend and had no free time to watch it since!)

Poor Kyle playing a little kid again.. Talking to Keenan as the bill from the that little song. Then Obama shows up and brings in Bobby the executive order, pushing Keenan down the many steps. This sketch is kinda starting to sound like it was written by FOX News... Wonder what Jon Stewart would have to say about this?

"I'm an executive order and I pretty much just happen"

I never noticed before - but on the opening credits, Colin is hanging out with firefighters... Why? Is that a thing that New Yorkers do? Seems kinda random, like in the old credits where Keenan was standing on the Brooklyn Bridge high-fiving random passers-by.

What movie exactly is Cameron promoting? Ohh Annie apparently, I didn't know she was in that movie.

I've heard so much about this 'back home baller' sketch with all the ladies rapping and it's pretty funny.. We already had Canadian Thanksgiving, and I can confirm that the pampering happens (haha just kidding, I get questioned about why I need to do laundry).

The next sketch is a parody of the new Annie movie where Jamie Foxx (Jay) keeps saying his real name when introducing himself, and there's 'Black Annie' (Leslie) who's actually 43, and a 'white Annie' (Vanessa). And she doesn't like it when they sing - then it ends with Keenan coming out and singing 'Black Annie' (basically this song with the name switched)

Fauxmercial for something that's basically a Keurig for hatching eggs. But the lady showing her friends has no idea how it works. And Keenan killed one!! Boooo...

The next bit is a low-budget 'creative' school play that totally just reminds me of the episode 'Stuff' from How I Met Your Mother:

You know, the one with Lily's play? And 'consumerism'?
And Barney's play? Which was actually funnier than Lily's play?
And Marshall never gets picked for audience participation?

Updaaaate... And Angela Merkel is back! And got a laugh out of Colin!! And then comes really close to kissing him and he laughs AGAIN!! More of her please!!!
And Charles Manson and his fiancee... (Taran and Cecily) and Taran does a good crazy dude. Apparently he told her she was in jail for income tax evasion (and she doesn't have access to the internet to verify this) - and then THEY actually start making out on the desk.

Oh god, they're back to that guy with the baby's body... and we're at his house now! I'm  totally confused as to why they continue with this sketch, it's so awkward... And I don't really like Beck Bennet all that much, I'm surprised they kept him in the cast over some of the people they let go from last year. Although he does do a pretty convincing baby-body performance. Cameron's his wife, and Keenan works for him and is bringing his wife (Sasheer) over to the boss' house for dinner. And Cameron's pregnant. Sasheer looked like she was close to cracking which reminds me, I don't think she has yet... And he keeps eating a lemon.

Now Keenan is doing an 'animal hour' show with a monkey who apparently ripped his you-know-whats off. And I'm just reminded that I miss this Tracey Morgan sketch:

THAT'S CRAZY!!

The monkey actually looks kinda terrified. And Keenan just keeps going on and on about the last episode. Cameron gets to hang out with a lemur on her shoulder! I'm jealous!

AWW YES! Kyle's re-recorded bit with his character Chris Fitzpatrick is back. I love this dude. He's trying to fight some preppy dude (Beck) and then after neither of them hit each other, Kyle freaks out cos he can't breathe since he has heart problems and then it gets broken up by a teacher (Cameron) and they both cry.

Pete makes his first appearance this episode, as a student in the class taught by Vanessa's weird awkward hippy poet-teacher lady. Keenan's character (after making hilarious faces in the back of the class) has a poem about Friends that was pretty hilarious. And Phoebe is his favourite.

But come on, isn't she everyone's favourite?

Cameron is her friend that has an overly-sexual poem about the UPS man which Pete is loving and causes Keenan to make another hilarious face.

Cecily and Cameron and Kate are in a commercial for some kind of phone sex line and they're asking for weird things like 'meeting me in a dark parking lot and hiding a package for me until things with the police die down'. Not a bad sketch, although it was a little longer than necessary.

I really did like the majority of the material this week! Although I was a little surprised there were so many pre-recorded sketches (does 3 seem like a lot to anyone else?) Cameron was great, as usual. Update was hilarious. Time for bed, see you in a few weeks!

SNL - Chris Rock

Apparently Chris Christie (Bobby) thinks of himself as a Kevin James-type. And apparently he's 'everywhere' *Cue shot of Emily looking behind the couch for him*

The first time I ever heard of Chris Rock was when he was in Madagascar... So every time I hear his voice, I see a zebra in my mind.

AFRO CIRCUS AFRO CIRCUS!!

Making Boston Marathon jokes, dude? Really? Who approved this monologue, exactly? (Also, the audience seems pretty uncomfortable too). And Twitter agrees.

Sasheer (a.k.a. Janelle) is making a dance tutorial video and Kyle is her adorably in-love-with-her friend... But she doesn't consider him a boy. Poor kid. This '15-year-old' is taller than her dad (Chris). And I think he was standing in the way because when Jay (her brother) came in the door you couldn't see him.. I've said this before, but Kyle playing a young kid is always adorable.

Fauxmercial for the GoPro... colonoscopy edition? Kyle, Beck and Taran are a bunch of 40+ extreme athletes talking about getting colonoscopies. It's so weird.

Technology has come a long way.

 Woody Harrelson is hosting in 2 weeks! I have a theory that he's just Matthew McConaughey from the future who invented a time machine and sent himself back in time. Also, I've been watching Cheers lately, so that's a nice coincidence.

Since the host is a black guy, they're doing that talk-show sketch where Keenan interviews black people on how they think Obama is doing. Also why do white people like kissing their dogs on the lips??? And they're still talking about that dude who ran into the White House. I'm glad, because that was just ridiculous.

To be perfectly honest, I don't like Price that much just on principle - he's always been such an ass to Weird Al Yankovic, and I mean COME ON IT'S WEIRD AL!!! You can't hate Al!!  Also I think he (Prince) tries too hard to be 'different'. Changing his name to that symbol thing... Why are you wearing three-lens sunglasses, dude?? You do not have another eye on your forehead!!
Weird Al totally gets him back though.. About halfway through this awesome song: 

SNL is giving Prince a longer-than-normal chunk of time to perform. So I'm taking this opportunity to mute the TV and listen to some Weird Al. Priorities.

Side note: remember that guy Hozier who was the musical guest when Bill Hader hosted? I'm still obsessed with that song he performed. It's called 'Take Me To Church'. So thanks for that one, SNL!

UPDATE!! Michael really likes the new Pope and so do I! But for different reasons.
Pete is back! As the 'resident young person'! Aaaaand... talking about his dick. Sending pictures of said dick to his mother. Oh good grief. She must be so proud. And then he mentioned his dad coming back, as a joke... Who died in 9/11... That's just awkward. Especially considering the 9/11 jokes in the monologue. What the hell is up with this??
Michael flubbed a joke, but then recovered very well!

Also he apparently only voted for Mayor Bill DeBlasio because he liked his son's afro. That's good a reason as any!

Jay Pharaoh is wonderful at everything he does. How has that man not been nominated for an Emmy by now??

I didn't know who Katt Williams was when I first saw this impression, but now I do and it's spot-on.

The Shark Tank sketch is back and... Good greif! They're asking for money for ISIS, what the hell? And Chris Rock has roped my boy Kyle into this offensive crap, too! WHY?! (Although they did point out that the whole ISIS/ISIL thing is confusing). But then they turned them over to the Secret Service, so... I guess it's all ok now?

Apparently, realizing you like Taylor Swift is the leading cause of vertigo in adults. She even got Leslie!! This is very dangerous!! (But luckily, there's now a pill for that).

Beck as a doctor reminds me of Chris Parnell as Dr. Spaceman from 30 Rock.

I'm so confused by this next sketch, it's basically Chris and Leslie as a married couple getting ready to go out (and being driven by Uber) and fighting a whole bunch... Apparently Sasheer is their daughter. And at one point, I think there was a mix-up with the cue cards cos Leslie just walked away and then came back for no reason, stared off to the side for a minute looking confused and then there was shuffling and then they resumed. Awkward.

The next bit is a pre-taped bank robbery scene that's really intense and totally looks like something out of Criminal Minds or something. Kyle has a man-bun! But the robbers (Kyle, Bobby, and Beck) are all super considerate of everyone and this is actually hilarious. Their dramatic acting is totally convincing and intimidating and then they flip around to being super-nice and that sketch was A-plus. Well done.

Cecily and Kate now acting as women from the eighties teaching an instructional video on dealing with diversity in the workplace. I've definitely never heard the phrase 'diverse person' before. Cecily's voice is hilarious. BTW, apparently the solution is to 'out-diverse' people. Cos that's a thing.

Well that's it for this week! Best part - no second Prince performance! I'm kidding - the best part was definitely that bank robber sketch. For those of you who missed the Bill Hader/Hozier episode, it's on as a rerun next week! WATCH IT! It was great!!

SNL - Jim Carrey

Jim Carrey is one of my favourite funny people. He's Canadian, which is awesome of course, and he cracks me up so much, what with the voices and the faces and the improvisation. Full disclosure -  because he's on the show promoting the new Dumb and Dumber sequel, I decided to watch the original one today (I'd never seen it before).

...What the hell is he wearing??? A red jumpsuit and devil horns... Singing. Bobby's face is creepy. Apparently he's 'Helvis' hahaha I'm so confused.

That's quite the getup, dude.

 The first fauxmercial took me a few seconds to realize it wasn't an actual commercial - Jim does a surprisingly incredible impression of Matthew McConaughey. They parodied that car commercial he does. Although I don't get why he does. And neither does Matthew/Jim, apparently.

 

Also I wanna wish congrats to Leslie Jones, who's officially a new cast member!! Yaay!! This is clearly along the lines of that family reunion sketch that Christopher Walken did back in the day. HE DID 'ALLLLRIGHTY THEN!!!' And Keenan does an AMAZING impression of him - Kyle's isn't bad, either! Vanessa and Beck have the Ace Ventura hair and it's pretty awesome. And THEN JEFF DANIELS SHOWS UP!! And asks him if he 'wants to hear the most annoying sound in the world' which made me laugh so hard because a) I'd just seen the movie today and b) apparently Jim improvised that line in the movie, and knowing that, Jeff's reaction face was hilarious.

It's the real Harry, playing a guy named Lloyd, talking to the real Lloyd. I'm so confused.

Lincoln commercial Part 2 - his kids in the backseat tell him he's only driving 5 miles an hour, and he asks whose kids they are.
I definitely thought the next sketch was going to be one of those 'Merryville Brothers' sketches - the music was the exact same! But I guess they didn't have Bill anymore, so it wouldn't be right. Anyway, it was still pretty funny - all these creepy figures in a cemetery where Sasheer and Pete are hanging out, and two of them are just random dead guys named 'Paul and Phil' (Jim and Taran) and they just keep singing their own names instead of the creepy song, so all the other things get mad at them. Especially Keenan - as a tree.

Paul and Phil! He wants none of your crap, guys.

 Once again, they fooled me with the commercial thinking it was a real one - until Keenan as the Allstate Insurance guy started talking. And then Jim/Matthew drove out of his driveway and ran him over. Whoops. *Lincoln* 

Iggy Azalea...MUTE MUTE MUTE MUTE. Can't stand her. Incredible that they've had 4 episodes and already managed to put on the two musicians that I hate the most right now. If they have Miley or Beiber by Christmas, I'm done.

UPDATE TIME!!! This just in: Ebola is silly, everyone freaks out over it. And Colin is a homebody just like me (teehee). Vanessa is brought on as their new 'romantic comedy expert' and she manages to enact a stereotypical meet-cute rom-com in like 2 minutes with Michael (70 seconds, according to him).
[Side note - is romantic comedy expert a real job? Because I would totally do that. I would be amazing at that job.] Colin's laughing at his own jokes this week and I'm loving it.

DRUNK UNCLE!!! YAAAAY!!!! But I'm so sad he isn't interacting with Colin - NOBODY EVER INTERACTS WITH COLIN!! Nevermind, he's now interacting with Colin, and apparently he likes him better. "More like 'whoreoween'" for once I agree with him a little bit... And he would like to apologize for not being 'a graveyard smash' - with a spot-on voice. And Colin prevents him from being racist. Well done, Colin.

Yeah, little bit.

The next sketch is a 'Secret Billionaire' show where Cecily has to figure out which of 4 guys is actually rich. And Jim is an old guy and it's hilarious. But a little creepy. He's a secret member of the Illuminati (oops).

DAMMIT these fauxmercials are TOO CONVINCING, I keep stopping paying attention. Taran is leading a team of people to check out a haunted house. And Leslie is just like 'nope, there's no such thing as ghosts' and then she's the first one to take off. Aaaand lock herself in the car. To be honest, that'd totally be me in that situation. All the scoffing when it's safe, then as soon as there's a noise, I bust out my not-at-all intimidating karate moves and scream.

I missed the beginning of the next sketch (I was making popcorn, sorry...) but it's a kinda Walking Dead thing where Jim's son Pete is a zombie but he keeps trying to convince the other people that he's not actually - and keeps hitting him with things - I think Pete is gonna start laughing. And then he bites Jim (who else saw that coming?) and he kinda sounds like Scooby Doo when he says 'Brains?'

Pete's dreams are coming true right now. (That bat was totally foam)

The next bit is a costume party where Kate is dressed as the girl from the Sia 'Chandelier' video - and so is Jim - and then they just dance around the whole studio!! Including with Iggy haha and Lorne! Lorne who starts laughing and looks like he doesn't know what to do. Jim is so tall and gangly and I definitely didn't need to see him in a leotard....

Ooh guess what! Commercial for Dumb and Dumber To!! I can't wait, it looks so funny... And how did Jim get the rights to wear a Toronto Maple Leafs jersey when introducing Iggy for the second time?? (MUTE MUTE MUTE). I mean I hate the Leafs (Go Habs Go!) but I like that a red-blooded Canadian represented our national sport - and our national laughingstock at said sport - on an American show.

Cecily and Vanessa playing what they do best - gum-chomping ditzes advertising things. And Jim's the Halloween Store owner who was possessed by a demon. That was relatively short and pointless. But the bumper card right after was him leading a llama through a lobby. And that was pretty awesome. (I'll post it here once they throw them up on their FB page in the next few days.)

LLAMA!!! Reminds me of the MB20 video for 'Real World' where Rob is leading a camel through a bowling alley.

All in all, this was a hilarious episode. I love Jim, and the sketches were better than normal! Happy Halloween everyone, I'll see you next week for Chris Rock and Prince! :)

Happy Halloween!! I can't tell which is the real Jim...

SNL - Bill Hader

Disclaimer: Former cast members hosting SNL is my favourite SNL-related thing. Ever. So expect a lot of fangirling this post. Sorry in advance. ON WITH THE SHOW!!! Tonight is also the exact 39-year anniversary of the premiere of SNL. Couldn't think of a better way to celebrate!!!

Bobby makes a hilarious Kim-Jong Un, talking about how athletic he is while being extremely short and telling one of his soldiers to punch him. Side note: I never noticed this, but Beck Bennett looks a lot like a young Darryl Hammond. I'm actually very curious as to where Kim-Jong Un actually has been the last few weeks. North Korea is weird.

BILL!!!!!!! He looks so skinny!! Maybe that's just the suit. And he's nervous, awww... Apparently Megan Mullalley is the one who discovered him and told Lorne to hire him - THANK YOU MEGAN!!!! We owe her so many laughs!!! KRISTEN!!!!!!!!!! She wants Bill to sing - and now I kinda do, too. "Don't make me sing!" This is not a Bill monologue! I was looking forward to a Bill monologue and it's all just Kristen singing... Oh well. I'm glad to have them both back. And then he sings and sounds like Harvey Fierstein... Who is now there too! Ohh how I love Bill's facial expressions... I wasn't at all surprised that Kristen showed up, I mean 1) they have that new movie coming out together and 2) she's everybody's favourite and 3) They are so amazing together and obviously besties.

That stache is legendary.

Herb Welch is back!!! Yaaay!! And he's interviewing Pete who's playing a highschooler who's taking a virginity pledge - and Herb thinks Taran is a mannequin. Who did they used to get to do the newsanchor for this sketch? Sudeikis? What the hell has he been up to lately? And how about Will Forte? I love that guy! Where has he been??

This next sketch is too funny - it's a mock-trailer that's a combination of all the young-adult post-apocalyptic franshises (Divergent, the Hunger Games, the Maze Runner, The Giver etc.) Bill is someone like Effie Trinket from the Hunger Games and talking in a high voice that reminds me of the Knights Who Say 'Ni' from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Pete is the main character, the 'chosen one' in this sketch - I'm so glad they're using him so much this week, he almost disappeared the last episode.

Funniest. Movie. Ever.

AND JIM CARREY IS HOSTING ON THE 25TH WHAAAAT!!!! Probably promoting the new Dumb & Dumber movie - which reminds me, I still need to watch the first one...

Kate MacKinnon does an excellent impression of Jane Lynch (although she's not nearly tall enough). Beck sound exactly like, but looks nothing like, Nick Offerman (I mean, they could have at LEAST given him blue contacts! Come on, people!) And more of Kristen!! We've reinforced what Bill said in his monologue - he only does impressions of people over 70. Al Pacino this time - who was apparently the first impression he ever did on the show.

The next fauxmercial is kinda awkward... They're making fun of those commercials where they ask for a really small amount of money to feed some people in a poor country - 'Why 39 cents??' But hey, Leslie Jones is back!

This is kind of sweet, they're showing an old sketch as tribute to Jan Hooks. Do they do this every time an ex-cast member dies? This one is really sad though, because it's her and Phil Hartman, and they're both dead now.

I've never heard of this guy Hozier before - but holy crap, that voice!!

WEEEEKENNNND UUUUPDAAAAATE!!!!! More Pete, this time as 'a hip-hop fan' explaining the new no-guns policy at the BET awards. He's so dry, too... Could give Colin a run for his money. Apparently he's 6 foot 3, 145 pounds and has a problem with wind. And he slouches. He's so cute.

He says he has bad posture because he hates himself... But look at that FACE!!!!

Billy Crystal was just accused of robbing the Yogi Berra museum! Wonder if he's going to take this! I also find it hilarious that Colin laughs at a lot of Michael's jokes, but none of his own.

I mean, he's got enough Yankees memorabilia... Right??

STEFON!!!!!!!!! YESSSS!!!!! (I totally called it, but STILL!!!!) He called Michael and Colin 'Barack and Mitt' hahaha he's cracking up, OF COURSE, I mean can you blame him?? And apparently Seth couldn't come, because he's 'at home, practicing how to sit behind a desk'.

I'd say he does a pretty good job of it.

WHAT THE HELL is that noise he just made?? I have no idea. I can't handle this. The rest of the episode could just be Stefon talking, and I would die happy. I really wish he'd interact with Colin, though - he's sitting beside Michael so they're just going back and forth. Apparently Stefon is pregnant!!! Hahaha COULD YOU IMAGINE how cute their kid would be??!!!

We need to send a huge thank-you to John Mulaney for creating Stefon (and making Bill crack up every time!!)

Now they're doing that sketch that I'd forgotten about, with the puppets where Bill's is a really scary army vet. Now with smoke coming out of the mouth!

(Commercial break) Holy crap I just realized that iPhone commercial with the two guys competing are voiced by JIMMY FALLON AND JUSTIN FREAKING TIMBERLAKE!!!

KYLE!! He hasn't done a weird-skater-guy sketch yet this season now he's hosting an 'inside SoCal' news-type show and I don't understand what's going on, but he's so cute so I don't care. Also, there are a lot of pre-recorded sketches this week.  Bill is being one of the other young dudes on the show and I don't buy it... Probably because his character is not over 70.

This Hozier guy has really strong eyebrow game.

The last sketch of the night was Aidy and Pete being adorable children who summon the Cat in the Hat (Bill) to come play with them and he knew their mother... *knew* their mother... But she's now married to Thing 2 who goes by 'Jonathing' now. (Side note, I had a cameo as Thing 2 when I helped backstage at my school's production of Seussical the Musical. True story.)

I wasn't lying.

Bill got so emotional at the goodbye, awww... and holy crap, Hozier is really tall.
My one criticism: THEY DIDN'T DO WHAT'S UP WITH THAT!!!! Although I guess too many of the people they used in that one are now gone. Sad Emily is sad.
But oh well, this was a wonderful episode and bless this show and bless all the people on it. And bless you all for reading, and bless Bill Hader for existing. (It's Canadian Thanksgiving this weekend, so I'm very grateful for things!) Goodnight to you all, and I'll see you on the 25th!

Saturday Night Live - Chris Pratt

The 40th season of SNL is starting tonight, and I couldn't be more excited!!! Partly because Chris Pratt is hosting, partly because season premieres are awesome, partly because SNL season premieres usually include a lot of cameos (like maybe by former SNL cast members?? We can only hope!) and partly because they just hired Michael Che to be the new Weekend Update anchor, and I really liked him on The Daily Show so I'm pumped to see him here!

Also announced recently, Keenan Thompson is leaving at the end of this season. He's been on the show for eleven years, which makes him the current cast member who's been there the longest, and while I've always liked him (in particular the recurring What's Up With That? and 'Scared Straight' sketches, and his Update character Jean K. Jean), he was always kind of on the edge of my radar and never really one of my favourites. But this week I read this article and it reminded me of one of the best things about Keenan - his reactions. Whether looking repulsed, astonished, or just confused, his facial expressions are always hilarious. And I'll miss them. So let's appreciate them while he's still around!

We begin with Keenan playing a football player who beats children and is on a talk show and thinks that we all need to hear that 'school buses are yellow'. Also Jay drinks Bud Light Lime. Chris Pratt plays Roger Goodell and is typically unclear on his stance on things. (But it's interesting that they put him in the cold open, that doesn't happen very often) Aidy gets the opening and away we go!

Don Pardo was a legend and as funny as Darrell Hammond is, his opening narration leaves something to be desired. He's not very emphatic. They only hired two new people since last season - the aforementioned Che, and a 20-year old named Pete Davidson. I repeat, SNL has a featured player who is younger than me. What am I doing with my life?

Chris Pratt just pulled out a guitar. If he can sing, I might just faint. *passes out*

Famous Person Cameo #1: Anna Faris (Chris' wife) in the audience during his monologue

 

She's not embarrassed... Is she?

Apparently middle-aged people new need to get turnt in order to sleep with their wives/husbands - so there's a pill for that. And they're really milking that whole Lil Jon featuring in a Lonely-Island-song-thing, aren't they?

Poor Kyle always gets cast as a little kid. He's hella adorable though. Aaaaand Chris Pratt is He-Man and only wearing half a shirt and a unitard. Apparently toys, when brought to life, start destroying houses and lusting after children's sisters. Now you know. I feel really bad for whoever has to clean up these sets. Famous Person Cameo # 1 1/2: They put Ariana Grande (tonight's musical guest) in a sketch.

CAKE.

This is a recurring sketch about a bunch of weird accent-having vet-office staff (Cecily, Chris, and Kate) who tell everyone in their waiting room that their pets are dead. They've done this sketch before... It might have been when Josh Hutcherson hosted? Can't remember.

Next they mock Guardians of the Galaxy and just say that Marvel is making a bunch of random movies with a bunch of randoms - including 'fancy ghosts' and a bunch of shopping carts. And Star Wars. Chris Pratt was wearing a Princess Leia costume, so that was pretty interesting.

You're welcome.

C'mon, I would totally see that movie.

Ariana Grande is up next, aaaand mute. She's adorable, and you can't deny that the girl's got range, but about 60% of the time, it sounds like she's singing through her upper nose, and it just drives me nuts. Sorry. Also what's with the fuzzy cat ears?

UPDATE TIIIME!!!! Aww poor Michael tripped over his first joke - but he laughed through it, so he's ok! And the background is new. It's different. I don't like it. Put it back.

HELL YES!!!! Ok when they announced last year that Cecily was talking over Weekend Update I was disappointed that That Girl You Wish You Hadn't Started a Conversation With At A Party wouldn't be around anymore. And now that Cecily's back to the regular cast - HERE SHE IS!!!! "If Neil Degrasse Tyson is so smart, why'd he bite that guy's ear off?" I AM DYING OF LAUGHTER OVER HERE. Someone send an ambulance.

I'm clearly going to the wrong kinds of parties. I've never met a girl like this.
And I love that she always made Seth laugh.

OK hold up a second. TGYWYHSACWAAP just asked Michael if he had a crush on anyone and he said there was a girl named Jessica... COULD HE POSSIBLY MEAN JESSICA WILLIAMS???!!! AS IN HIS FORMER COWORKER AT THE DAILY SHOW???!!!!

THIS JESSICA????!!!!!!

I ship it. Their babies would be hilarious.

Famous Person Cameo #2: Leslie Jones (comedian/one of the SNL writers) is a correspondent about being single - let's hear it for the loneliness!! She also hits on Colin - who I must admit is adorable, and slightly less stiff this season. Bravo Colin.

Finally, Pete the new kid shows up, as the 'resident young person' on the cast. He looks a tiny bit like Andy Samberg... Which is interesting. I miss Andy. (Casual reminder - Brooklyn 99 is back this Sunday at 8:30 on Fox). Now Keenan came out and they're singing encouragement to President Obama. Along the lines of 'Ooooh child, things are probably gonna get not worse'.

Colin is drumming and bringing the cuteness.Michael looks like he's conducting an orchestra.

Side note: bless SNL for being the only show I've ever seen to live-tweet screenshots. Makes my job a lot easier.
 
Apparently the only thing you need to do to learn how to flirt with someone is watch a lot of music videos. This has lead to Aidy Bryant singing 'Anadonda' by Nicki Minaj, which is weird. And Chris Pratt just rapped. Chris. Pratt. Just. Rapped. And as a side note, one of the girls in this sketch is named Alberta. Canadian provinces make for great baby names. For the love of god, stop talking about your ass, Aidy!

I do not understand this next sketch. Apparently it's supposed to be like a sitcom? And Chris is having issues making friends so he hangs out with a biker gang of rebellious 9-year olds, who start corrupting him. Apparently you can now call parks to see if they're closed. Kyle and Beck play his roommates - and none of them use any kind of inflection in this sketch whatsoever. "This is a fight" Chris says, walking out of the room. Thanks for letting me know, bud.

I am vaguely reminded of this Key and Peele sketch by the next bit - but instead of having ridiculous names, they all have weird criminal records. And they pulled out Colin for this one! As well as Leslie! The one player says 'I hit my wife' and then she's the next one and goes 'I'm his wife - I hit his ass back!'. The other offenses were funny.

Just in case you wanted to know what these two looked like not wearing suits or behind a desk.

OK Ariana is performing again so I wasn't really paying attention, but then I glanced back up and - who on earth is this dude and what the hell does he have on his head???

Now there are some people (Bobby, Sasheer and Pete) testing a children's video game in which painfully coloured and cheerful characters (Vanessa and Chris) tell you to put together a puzzle and then they make out. This is really awkward considering Chris' wife is in the audience... And Taran is the video game designer who, of course, sees nothing wrong with this idea.

You can't un-see this. I'm sorry.

Holy crap Pete's tall. He's pretty much the same height as Chris, who is 6'2 according to IMDb.

So that's it for tonight! I don't know why, but all the sketches seemed a little short tonight.. Although maybe that was just because I am really tired and therefore time seems inconsistent to me. Who knows. It wasn't their best episode, but it wasn't their worst. I like Michael and Colin together (except for that damn background!) and I'm really glad to see the return of That Girl You Wish You Hadn't... etc. !!! What did you think of the new Update Team? What was your favourite sketch/least favourite sketch? Leave me a comment!!