NCIS: LA - Cancel Christmas

[NOTE: Sorry, Student Emily was drunk on happiness over finishing her last exam tonight (and of the following sassy photo of Josh Donaldson in a Santa hat AND a sweater bearing his own likeness) that she forgot to pay attention to the time and missed the beginning of NCIS:LA today.

Hopefully you can't blame me for being distracted by this. It's pretty great.

So she had to wait until it got uploaded online. As a result, she's now writing this after midnight, as Sleepy Emily, and is referring to herself in third person. This should make for an interestingly nonsensical recap.]

Christmas! Christmas is coming!! That little tiny toy train close-up at the beginning is kinda ominous though. So is the song slowing down and everything getting blurry. And then a dude gets hit by a truck. Yeouch.

NELLRICK ARE DANCING!!! Not in a romantic way - but with giant candy canes! SO CUTE!!! But Granger doesn't like it. Because he hates fun. And cute things. He might be allergic to them.

See?

But it's OK, Hetty delivers some shade. #HettyTheBest

Janvier (the one-armed psychopath that wants to kill Callen) sent Callen a Christmas card. It's the only one he got, other than Sam's. Sam takes offense to their proximity to one another. Is that a thing? You need to not put cards from murderers next to ones from your friends? 

Joelle makes an appearance! AND CALLEN GOT ONE OF THOSE CAR-RUDOLPH KITS!!! I LOVE RUDOLPH!!! 

Don't believe me? These are my socks.

And I own this shirt. His nose lights up. I'm a dork. 

Deeks and Kensi are having issues with their mothers who both want to cook Christmas dinner. Sam's grumpy, cos he doesn't want to have to work anymore - and he's mean to Eric. But Kensi thought he was adorable, and Kensi is right! Yaaaay Kensi! 

Dead dude was a North Korean spy. Deeks wants to go work on the case, but Callen declines. Also, I really love Deeks. 'Knuckleheadedness' is totally a word, Sam, even if my spellchecker doesn't think so. They find a dead guy who's not actually dead, he's just passed out. 

Deeks is talking to a Santa-bikini-wearing charity-gathering girl who saw the guy die at the beginning. Apparently 'tannenbaum' is the Christmas word for bingo! I will be using that this season. Deeks and Kensi are having their coupley discussions about lingerie in the middle of the street. As one does. 

WTF Granger, why are you in such a rage?! Because 'terrorism doesn't take holidays' apparently. What a grumpypants. Eric snuggled sugar cookies into Ops, because Eric is wonderful. I don't usually love shortbread, but they had some at my school cafeteria the other day and it made me SO HAPPY!! 

Kensi wants to raise a baby tiger and Kensi just said the word 'bitches' like what is happening here? But baby tigers are damn cute. 

Exhibit A (Hiiiii Joey Bats!) 

Someone turned the gas on in the dead guy's house, and Deeks and Kensi run out but it doesn't go KABOOM like I was expecting it to. Disappointing. 

Some girl fake-cries in front of Callen, then tries to attack him (why do bad guys always make grunting noises right before attacking someone?) and he takes her in for questioning because she poisoned the dead guy right before he died. (Was that Jeanette McCurdy?? It looked like Jeanette McCurdy) and the guy they found in the motel had just gotten out of prison so he asks to borrow some clothes, Granger says 'no' because Granger is a Grinch.

I see the resemblance. 

Also I'm calling him 'Grinchger' from now on. Got it? Good. Callen is nice and offers to help him. Good guy Callen. Eric is rambling on on the phone to Deeks, and he's having a sugar high it's kind of adorable. Deeks takes a fun hypothetical conversation and turns it into a confession about the IA investigation. Your timing is bad, Deeks, and you should feel bad. 

But somehow Kensi had figured it out?! Smartypants Kensi!!! Proud of that girl. It turns into a really cute conversation where he says he needs to kiss her and she says no cos they're working and waahhh why don't I have a boyfriend... 

The girl's mom shot Grinchger in the ass, apparently, and he carries around a photo of her for some reason. He offers her a warm beverage (because that's what you do when someone is sad) and says it has poison in it, because he too hates the holidays.

Callen dropped off the just-out-of-prison guy, is all nice to him, but then they find out that he actually knew the girl and took off from the house with their dog. Nell and Eric want puppies. I want to see Nell and Eric with puppies. The cuteness overload would be worth it. SMART DUDE he had the names of spies embedded in the chip in his dog, took it to a shelter, and got them to read the list. 

Callen tracks him down and puts him in a cage, has some more witty banter (I love you Callen) and they take him to set up a meet with the bad Korean buyers.  

OK I understand that going undercover and tackling the Korean spies was necessary, but did Deeks really have to dress as Santa?! He's gonna scar all those kids for life!! Sam shows up with his son, who was supposed to wait in the car, but didn't. Which might have been a good idea, because as Chuck taught us... 

He's instead super-interested in becoming an NCIS agent. Which Sam is not OK with - even if he's alright with him being in the Navy? 

Kensi wants Deeks to bring his Santa outfit, and they manage to solve their mother problem, inviting them instead to Sam's house. Hetty has a back-up gift for Callen for Joelle, because Hetty thinks of everything, and then NELL AND ERIC SHOW UP DRESSED LIKE TOY SOLDIERS!!! And Granger catches them and tells them to have fun. SO DAMN CUTE!!!! THEY'RE LIKE TEENY PRECIOUS ELVES!!! 

Except they're not elves they're soldier/nutcracker thingies, but who cares THEY'RE SO GOSHDARN CUTE!!!! 

Callen shows up at home, Joelle loves that he got her a gift, she set up a nice dinner for them - and then proceeds to tell him she is going to break up with him at New Years?! Because she worries about him too much?! Joelle you heartless fiend, who has that conversation on Christmas?!!!! 

Merry Christmas, friends!! I, for one, think we can be thankful this didn't end on a cliffhanger! See you in the new year!! 

Saturday Night Live - Amy Adams

I had a ton of stuff going on on Saturday, no time to watch. Now I'll try to be brief. 

Taran can do an excellent Sam Smith impersonation. Dr. Evil is back, and I love Mike Myers!!! He mocks the GOP, James Franco, and himself. And does the intro!!

Amy Adams is adorable!! Surprise Kristen Wiig is the best kind of Kristen Wiig!! The two of them could be sisters. One of those reindeer is missing his nose... And then his antlers fell off haha

Racially sensitive generic Asian doll makes for a funny fauxmercial.

Poor Kyle gets typecast as a child again - during a parody of that annoying viral-video-Christmas-card. This one:

Their son thinks he's a dog. And the daughter is a sociopath. And 'sweatpants' doesn't rhyme with anything.

They did a parody of Serial, which I've heard of but never listened to, about Santa Claus.

I always feel bad for Aidy during the 'Girlfriends Talk Show' sketch. Amy is so cute with blonde hair. But I like that they involved the musical guests (One Direction) in a sketch. My ears are ringing. Damn audience screaming.

Some guy keeps playing the Ghostbusters theme at an office Christmas party. Full disclosure, I have a Stay Puft Marshmallow Man ornament that plays that song.

Pete and Jay are kinda half rapping half singing. Pretty funny. But they're no Lonely Island.

UPDAAATE!!! They're talking about the blocking of The Interview from theaters. Michael keeps calling Kim-Jong Un 'Kimberley'. Cause that won't piss him off... And now Bobby is imitating him. Oh dear. Colin thinks it's a bad idea. I concur.
Michael makes fun of Colin again, Kenan pretends to be Michael's neighbour.
Garth and Kat are back. As much as I love Kirsten, I could do without Fred... Wish they'd bring Bill back. They also think they wrote the Hunger Games soundtrack.

Random people on Cuban TV - because the embargo has been lifted. I think Fred is the voiceover. As well as Castro. Which is odd, seeing him next to Jay as Obama.

I'm really confused by the next sketch. 1950s bar scene. Bobby has a terrible haircut. Kyle's 1950s voice is wonderful. Then the girls sing. And insist that they have to chew on garbage. Who the hell made this sketch??? Then they turn back into raccoons. WHY?!

Kate and Amy are a not-so-secretive couple, selling cats and they have REAL KITTIES!!! I love kitties. I think one of them really wanted to jump down from Kate's arms.

NCIS: LA - Humbug

OK I missed the opening because I just got home from an exam... MEANING I AM FREE FOR THE CHRISTMAS BREAK!!! But I'm guessing it was things and excitement and whatnot.

Thank god for the Nell and Eric recap - Santas robbed a place with technology contracts to the government. Also, Granger is still recovering so I guess he won't be here to ruin anybody's fun. YAAAY!

Callen's girlfriend was a witness, they held a gun to her. Apparently this means they can't work on the case because she's not allowed to know who they really are. She's pretty. Deeks wants to poke and prod about what she's buying Callen for Christmas - apparently she thinks Callen has to wear a suit every day. I WISH!

Can't Callen always wear a suit?? I like suit-wearing Callen!!

Kensi freaks out briefly over the concept of the 'safe gift' - methinks she got Deeks a shirt and tie as well... And you know what, my parents have been married for 26 years, and that's all my mom gives him for Christmas.. and Father's Day... And his birthday. I think they're fine.

Deeks thinks the tech guy saying the word 'bustier' is creepy. I concur. They had malware that they were studying in order to figure out how to combat it, and it was stolen.

Eric is talking to a computer, calling it 'baby' and himself  'daddy' and Nell overhears him. Awks. Then she cancels their plans! Bad Nell! DOES SHE HAVE A SECRET BOYFRIEND?!!! No, she's going to visit her family. Thank god. OH MY GOD SHE INVITED HIM and he shocked himself. Side note: I would love to see the two of them hanging out outside of work like Sam and Callen do.

Look how cuuuute!!!

Deeks and Kensi are going snowboarding together for the holidays! Aww.. Everyone's cute and flirty except me. *Obligatory moment of self-pity*.

The guy Callen and Sam interview looks like he has a cloud attached to his head. His hair is that pale and fluffy.

Deeks lures one of the robber-Santas out of his house by smacking his crappy old car and setting off its dying alarm.  Then he finds another Santa in the house - looks dead but is just REALLY drunk. Deeks gets the honour of interviewing him - he's kinda cute but hilarious, keeps asking Deeks if he's the police. Also I looked up the guy who played him because he looked vaguely familiar, and OH MY GOD

This guy...

Was the voice of one of my favourite characters on one of my favourite childhood TV shows!!! RECESS!!!!

Callen tells Joelle he 'can't imagine what it's like' having a gun pulled on him. And I'm laughing. Turns out the flash drive that went missing ended up in Joelle's bag. The creepy 'bustier' guy from before was the one who hired the guys to rob the office and Hetty makes him really uncomfortable by sitting so close to him in interrogation. Now they're going to kill Joelle! Because this is the stupidest plan ever! Having a random oblivious third-party be the target?? And he found out who she was by looking at the store records?? What if she'd paid in cash?!! These bad guys are really stupid. Kensi strangles one of the bad guys just feet from where Callen and Joelle are dancing in her living room.

The other guy manages to break in because Deeks didn't get to him in time? Come on!!! They watched the guys walk up to the house!!

And the rules of statistics and physics are broken yet again - an automatic weapon misses them because a bad guy was using it! Naturally, Joelle freaks the hell out when Callen starts shooting back. And Kensi and Deeks couldn't have followed them into the house and helped him deal with the bad guy?!

Callen expects Joelle to be relieved that Sam's kids are 'just kids'. Even though her friends and boyfriend all have secret lives she didn't know about. She calls him a 'humbug', which means imposter. And tells him to leave. Sad Callen face.

Nell needs to stop saying cute things to Eric while he's holding electronics. He nearly blinded himself with his camera when she said he should pretend to be her boyfriend! I think she's a danger to his safety!! (But side note: AWWWWW!!!!!!)

Granger came back, but everyone was gone first. Grinch-ger will not spoil anyone's Christmas!!!

Unless his heart grows three sizes, that is.

They're all going skating - but Sam can't skate. Deeks didn't know they got a Christmas bonus. Kensi doesn't wanna just be 'safe', so no more games between her and Deeks and then they banter and make out and my heart melts. Like seriously, someone send an ambulance. Pool of liquid where there should be a muscle. Kind of an important one. I shouldn't go without that.

Michelle surprised Sam for Christmas by having Aiden come home - awww!!! And then Joelle shows up randomly, decides she wants to get to know the REAL Callen (asks about his last name hahaha long story) and they show Kensi with snow on her derriere - clearly she's fallen over a few times. I like the fact that I'm good at something she isn't, for once!!!

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays NCIS: LA fans!!! See you in the new year!! :D