SNL - Dakota Johnson

I must start by saying this: I am 100% against 50 Shades of Grey being made out to be a huge thing. It normalizes and romanticizes abusive relationship behaviour, and that's not a message that needs to being going out into the world. It's personal to me because I have a close friend who was in a terribly manipulative/abusive relationship, and that guy displayed a lot of the controlling behaviour that Christian does in the book. I don't want to rant on this here, but there are plenty of articles explaining the issue. Go read one. Educate yourself.

Having said that, I figured that sooner or later one of the stars of an extremely popular movie would be hosting SNL, sooo... I guess, at least, they didn't pick Jamie Dornan? After all, he's #NotMyChristian...

Bless John Oliver. Love that man.

OK, so according to Rudy Guiliani, you're allowed to say bad things as long as beforehand you say 'this is going to be horrible'. And they're parodying Birdman! I really want to know who's doing his in-head voiceover, because I do not recognize that voice. Might be Beck.
Note to self: WATCH BIRDMAN!!

Why so creepy, birdman Beck?

I don't know why, but I don't really like Dakota Johnson very much... She just seems very awkward and kinda whiny... And now we're applauding her for who her parents are. Aww and they're actually there! That's sweet!

Taran playing Dakota's dad is a really odd concept, because I don't think he's significantly older than her... And oooookay, making jokes about young people joining ISIS? Is that really OK? Like I definitely don't think that's very funny...

I think this next bit is a spoof on Cinderella... Holy god, I'm jealous of that dress Dakota is wearing. That is beautiful... And I can't remember who that chain-smoking character of Cecily's is, but she's definitely done it before. I love the way she drunkenly over-enunciates things. Hilarious. Apparently her brother wore pants too tight, and now he's 'all twig and no berries' ahaha. And the clock has struck midnight, so she (Dakota) has to inform the prince that 'I don't have time to tell you my name' three times.

Somehow, I don't think Sara Bareilles' 'Brave' is actually about being blunt and honestly rude to people. But this is kind of hilarious, how excited they all are to be honest. But here's what's bugging me about Dakota - she just has one happy face, she doesn't do the exaggerated joyful expression that the other ladies have mastered (especially Kate and Leslie). But seriously, I love that song.

Look how happy she is!!!

We're 20 minutes in, and they're already doing a 50 Shades-related sketch. And poor little Kyle, having to play a child again. He's a middle-schooler who's interviewing Dakota (playing herself) and getting WAAAAY too into detail about the movie. Oh hey, she and I actually have something in common! Her favourite dessert is pie too!

Basic white girls (and Bobby) sitting around discussing how cold it is out, overusing the word 'literally' and discussing how much they 'can't even'. This could have been lifted off of Tumblr. And poor Aidy LITERALLY cannot do anything, because her arms are actually broken! And the other bee-otches won't help her! How rude!!!

I have literally only heard of Alabama Shakes in the context of them being on SNL another time, about two years ago. And all I remember about them was their lead singer-lady having really big hair. She appears to have cut it since then.

UPDAAATE!!!! *Gasp* Colin is team White&Gold on The Dress. WHYY COLIN WHYY??!!!!

He favourited one of my tweets last week!! I had such high hopes for him!!!

They're making more ISIS jokes.. Am I the only one finding this timing awkward?!
I also love it when the audience laughs/cheers for a long time while the camera is on Colin, so he's forced to just sit there and smile and be cute. AND HIS FACE as Ruth Bader Ginsburg (Kate) is dancing is just so adorable. Although I think her catchphrase 'ya ginsburnt' is borrowing a little too heavily from something Seth does on his show...

She gets points for the pun though.

Wait, Kanye apologized to Beck? How did I miss this? Finally... AND I LOVE JAY PHAROAH AS KANYE!!! He's the new Bill Hader. So good at the impressions.

OH MY GOD IT'S RIBLET!!!! I'M SO HAPPY!!! I love this guy!! When they introduced him the first time, I was like 'good god, I hope they bring him back'. AND THEY DID!!!! I'm crying with laughter right now. Apparently his pigtails are detachable. And they had a mike delivered to him so he could drop it.. #RibletForUpdate2015 #UnlessThatMeansReplacingJostThenNevermind #JostCheAndRibletForThreeManUpdate2015

The Star Trek reference in this sketch is a little weird given the fact that Leonard Nimoy died yesterday... But also I'm distracted by one-note Dakota. YOU'RE AN ACTRESS WOMAN STOP BEING SO MONOTONE, WHO ARE YOU, KRISTEN STEWART?!!! But then she started cracking slightly, and so did Leslie, so I'll forgive her.. Keenan is just nuts. Awww but then they ended the sketch with a picture of Nimoy with 'Live Long and Prosper' written on it. That's sweet.

Oh hey they're talking about Net Neutrality!! A bunch of people who don't actually know what it is... Pete doesn't want people to comment neutrally 'this is fine.' that reminds me of a Demetri Martin joke...

Let's be honest, though, most things remind me of Demetri Martin jokes.

Damn. Leslie is team white and gold dress too?!! But Pete's on my side!! Woohoo!! Also, I hate to bring up John Oliver again (I totally do not, because he's awesome) but his show actually broke the internet when he did a piece on net neutrality and explaining how important it was. He got people interested in the debate, and got them to care. GO JOHN!!!

Beck and Kyle are making a 'viral video' about people not reacting to a sad situation - bullying, women's pay inequality, kids being lost- and they just start lecturing people about nothing. At least Kyle didn't have to dress like the child in this one. But he did have to dress like a woman. And a dog.

And everyone during the goodbyes (including Dakota's dad) did the 'Live Long and Prosper' salute, that's so sweet...

Also Colin was wearing a tight black t-shirt again. Hot damn.

Public service announcement: Someone finally listened to me and gave the lovely and hilarious SNL alum Will Forte his own TV show - it's called The Last Man on Earth and it's premiering tomorrow night at 9:00 p.m. eastern on FOX. WATCH IT!!! I've missed seeing his face on my TV, I'm so excited for this!!!

I think I've had Forte withdrawal...

NCIS: LA - Expiration Date

You know when they begin an episode with a 'previously on...' from MONTHS ago, shit's going down in this episode.

Oh hey it's that Gurkha guy with the sword from the intro! Who'da thought he'd show up again?! AND SAM HAS BEEN SHOT BY A SNIPER OH MY GOD!!!! (That shock is sarcastic. It was in the promos.)

I should warn you, I now have a large quantity of Jon Stewart reaction GIFs at my disposal. Sorry in advance.

Oooooh we see Kensi and Deeks in bed and she's all smoochy and cuddly with him, he's giggling in his sleep, and she says "introducing you to my friends was a bad idea". Hold up - what's this? Kensi has friends? Who are female? And like drinking? And her nickname is Kay-Kay?!!

And I really want to know who the male equivalent of Bridget Jones is. Because I would watch the hell out of that movie. (Especially if it featured Colin Firth and/or Hugh Grant). Also Kensi loves Love, Actually brunch, and fantasy engagements. We have more in common than I thought..

Bridget Jones is me if I were British and smoked.
So hopefully I eventually marry someone as precious as Colin Firth.

Callen and Deeks trust Gurkha guy, Kensi is suspicious. And he or this Ella chick apparently was the target, and I REALLY wish they would have shown us all the backstory with her, because we are eight minutes in and I'm already confused.

Everyone's concerned about Sam, but they've got the best surgeon on it. Granger compares Hetty to a mother, say it with me now: AWWWWWE

Deeks and Kensi are spending pretty much every night together - and we don't get to see any of this?!! Thapa (the Gurkha guy) has a lot of sound relationship advice for a guy who carries a giant sword around at all times. I'm not sure why that would hamper his love life, although women might be a little frightened by it.

The first number on that list of algorithms on the window looks like the format of a classroom number at my school. DUN DUNNNN plot twist the nukes are stored at a tiny university in Canada!

This lady already has a handler, so therefore she's just not gonna talk to Callen. Because that makes sense. And oh dear, Sam's dead! (Rolls eyes) If they didn't bother to give Callen a big dramatic 'getting the news' scene, it's clearly not true - and this is confirmed literally 5 seconds later. NCIS:LA writers know we're not stupid, so they're not even bothering to try and trick us.

Considering she barely knew Sam, I don't think this lady has any guilt over him 'dying'.

Kat, Mindy, Mandy, Tiffany and Tiffany. Typical girly-girl nicknames brought to you by silly male TV writers. (Also I'm guessing at least one of those Tiffanys is spelled with an 'i' but I hate that so I'm gonna leave them both as 'y's)

Is 'crazy' really the ONE thing a woman never wants to be called? I mean sure it's bad, but I don't think it's the one thing. 'Ugly' and 'bitchy' would be up there... Maybe 'hormonal'... Not going to turn this into a feminist rant, I swear. And now Thapa is telling Kensi exactly what she wants to hear too. Clever tactic. Maybe Deeks is too hasty calling him 'brother'.

Deeks is now able to look at a blood pool and determine how recently it got there! And who were these detectives anyways?!

YES LET'S USE AUTOMATIC GUNS IN A ROOM FULL OF GASOLINE AND HIGHLY FLAMMABLE THINGS! THAT IS AN EXCELLENT IDEA!!! Terrorist logic is the worst.

Kensi being a freaking badass, pulling a knife out of nowhere and hitting that guy dead-center.

Sarah Walker would be proud.

He and Thapa have a bonding moment, then he tells him something important that I missed because my washing machine chose that second to make a LOT of noise. Damn spin cycle. According to Twitter, Thapa was actually the sniper target, not Ella. Plot twist!


OOHHH SNAP there are more warheads in India than they said! She tries to tell them the info is faulty and Callen is like 'weeellll I counted myself, so I think it's pretty damn accurate.' And India has been keeping secrets. Damn, is the US at war with EVERYBODY?!! And Sam is alive, so Ella knows that now, because her CIA handler chose that exact moment to show up. Callen says 'I didn't make the best first impression'.

(I'm aware this is Watson. But he gives such good side-eye).

HOLD ON A SECOND!! We just had Sarcastic Granger make an appearance!! Shhh, don't spook him! (His joke was even better than mine - plus he used the phrase 'understatement', which always earns points in my book)

And I know I'm not the expert here, but I don't think screaming at your suspect is a good way to get them to cooperate.

Deeks tells Thapa that 'he'll always have a home here' and I think I smell a new (at least temporary/recurring) team member... And "home is not in the heart, home is the heart"... Why so sappy Deeks?!!! Thapa thinks that he has an 'expiration date'. ROLL CREDITS!

Hetty compares spies to used car salesmen. There's an analogy I've never heard before. And Ella is a 'hot commodity' that the CIA just 'has to have'. Said with a Callen eyebrow waggle. Interesting phrasing. And she's a double agent. Even those children that I told to stop watching this show could have seen that coming.

Sam is suddenly a germophobe - but only Deeks-related germs. And he's not supposed to have visitors, but as we all know, this team don't play by the rules. ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?! Ella planted a GPS tracker on Thapa, and nobody noticed it?? Except Sam?

I think drugged-up Sam is funny. And he has a scale of 'bad people places and things'. So if an angry Gurkha ranks as 'very very bad', then would six of them be very very very very very very very very very very very very bad? Is that how this math works? Because I love ranking things on scales!

Deeks works his magic with the blood again, innocent doctors and nurses are killed (damnit, civilian casualties are the worst). Do Gurkhas actually assume this cheesy kung-fu group position in real life? Methinks not.  Knives and shit are thrown, a fire axe is involved (good resourceful thinking Deeks!), Callen shoots one of them in the toe because Sam tells him to 'save the hostage'. One of the bad guys decides that throwing things is more effective than up-close combat with a man in a hospital bed. (Although that'd be my choice too, if said man was Sam's size).

OK, I've been watching too much CinemaSins. Because otherwise I would have found this scene pretty intense and badass. But, while we're discussing CinemaSins, I have to say - roll credits x2.

And Thapa is hit. Fatally. Oops. Guess I was wrong about them adding him to the team. Deeks is in disbelief about this. Poor Deeks.

Callen gets his 'nyah nyah' moment with the double-agent lady. Kensi is glad that Deeks wants to take a night off (at least until midnight) and he thinks her smile is perfect and he's gonna cry and I'm gonna cry and he's 'already home' and *squealy noises*...

Chris Pine also finds this moment very touching.

But all I can think of is, it's a good thing they haven't moved in together yet. Because then they'd have no choice if they wanted to 'take a night off'. Other than the couch. Deeks would look like a puppy sleeping on a couch.

AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SOME ERIC/NELL SCENES NEXT EPISODE?!!!  I AM HAVING NELLRIC WITHDRAWAL HERE

Big Bang Theory - The Comic Book Store Regeneration

I went home this week for reading week, and kind of forgot what day of the week it was, so I did not watch BBT on time (sorry). My dad reminded me and told me to watch it, said it made him cry. (That may be an exaggeration, I can never tell with him). But here we go!

A good joke not only entertains, but informs. And it takes no Edisons to screw in a lightbulb - he stole the idea and therefore doesn't deserve any credit.

Kripke is back!! Sheldon is jealous for once, because Amy helped Kripke with something,

Speaking of jealousy, Howard is mad that his mom wants him to check on Stewart.

And part of me expected Penny to start singing 'Let it Go' when she was giving Sheldon advice. And something tells me that Jim Parsons missed the dryer by accident when throwing that dyer sheet. And then he just went with it. What a pro.

I still can't believe he didn't pass out laughing at this.

I like the new store, it seems a lot bigger. Leonard and Raj clearly went to the Emily School of Avoiding Awkwardness - lesson one, always offer to do someone a favour so that you can leave when a fight is starting.

Amy has been testing Penny's intelligence with a series of puzzles - testing in comparison tochimps in her lab. So now Penny is the one mad at her.

"I didn't marry you for good points, I married you to blindly support you no matter how ridiculous I'm being!!" That's my future relationship goal, let's be honest. (Although usually I'm the one with the good points).

The guys met Nathan Fillion!! But he's pretending to not be Nathan Fillion... Because if he actually were Nathan Fillion, he would have given them one of these:

He's pretty cool. He's also Canadian!! (Which is probably why he's so cool!)

Apparently Penny is smarter than chimps - but Leonard is not. And I LOVE SARCASTIC PENNY!!! CAN WE HAVE MORE OF HER PLEASE!!!

Ohhhh shit. Howard's mom died. I totally knew this was coming ever since the actress, Carol Ann Susi, passed away last November, but still everyone just looks so sad... And I still don't know if my dad actually cried, but I definitely am... And they said she was like a mother to all of them. Aww that's so sweet. Because she was usually just the butt of all the jokes, but I'm glad they all liked her too. And I'm so disappointed we never got to see her!

Rest in peace Carol Ann. We'll miss your yelling.

SNL - 40th Anniversary Special

OH DEAR GOD. I don't know the last time I was so excited for something. Probably when I went to see Billy Joel last March. That was amazing. But this is having me hyperventilating and fangirling and giggling and tearing up all in one. My sister (who has never seen a full episode of SNL, only the odd sketch I've shown her) is watching with me, for at least the first little bit. This'll be interesting.
I can't believe they have LITERALLY EVERYONE on this show. How do you even manage that? And I was concerned they wouldn't be able to fit everyone into the studio... This post will be rambling and full of exclamation points. Try to keep up. (Also this thing is over 3 hours long and I'm too lazy to include a lot of pictures, so...)

DANCE JIMMY DANCE!!!! AND JUSTIN!!!! Of course they'd open the show with these two. They're so amazingly cool. OH MY GOD THEY'RE BLENDING EVERYTHING INTO A SONG AND I'M CRYING AT THIS!!! Justin's 'well isn't that special' was on point! This monologue (dialogue?) is going to be HUUUGE online tomorrow. *Bring it on down to SNL!!!!*
And Rachel is there to bring it down, as per usual... Blues Brothers reference!!! I still haven't watched that movie...
MORE COWBELL!!!! And Mary Catherine Gallagher!!!!

Oh dear god are they going to go through literally every single person appearing tonight?
A+ job by whoever edited these opening credits... And they had so many shots of deceased cast members - not sure if as a tribute, or just to make us cry, but well done.

Does Steve Martin opening this monologue count as 'hosting'? Look out, Alec Baldwin!! And Jon Lovitz isn't dead!
TOM HANKS!!!! "Acting is yelling for money!"  "HEY!" GOLD!!!!! (Hey, I could be an actor..)
Damnit, there's Alec. Guess he can count this as a hosting gig too... That competition. Loving it.
Ugh. They had to ruin this by bringing out Miley? My sister's reaction: 'ew'. Proud of her.
BILLY CRYSTAL!!!! He's adorable. And rather short.

Surprised the photographer managed to hold the camera still. They were probably laughing so hard.

'Singers named Paul'. Very small demographic. But what a talented one!

Obviously they had to use a pre-recorded clip for John and Gilda and Phil, and Chris Farley. And so we could all remember what Chevy Chase looked like in the seventies. All the way through to the modern sketches. Wow. So much funny. And my sister didn't know what any of them were. She has much to learn.

AYKROYD!!!! BASS-O-MATIC!!!! He doesn't seem as creepy as he did in the original... And the blender jammed hahaha awkward. That's live TV!!!

CELEBRITY JEOPARDY!!!! Oh man, they even busted out the old Jeopardy board for this. Darrell Hammond hasn't aged at all. And I never thought I'd see Sean Connery and Justin Beiber in the same scene. Surprise appearance by Norm McDonald as Burt Reynolds/Turd Ferguson. Hearing Taran as Christoph Waltz say 'heart heart wink and point' was so bizarre. I love it. And Jim Carrey as Matthew McConaughey is the best. How many people are on that stage right now?? Oh god why would they do a Bill Cosby reference?? 'We taped that in June!' Good save.

Somehow just playing Matthew McConaughey makes Jim Carrey more handsome.

Oh my god they're showing auditions, that's incredible. They're all so young and I want to cry. Why has Seth never done a British accent on the show?? It's excellent!! I'm astonished of how many of these characters they just made up themselves - Target Lady, Church Lady, - and holy shit Andy's short-shorts. Sudeikis' sideburns make me so happy.

I have such fond rememembrances of that hair.

There's nothing I love more than a good montage set to a sappy song. You go Alicia Keyes.
I took the opportunity provided by that commercial break to educate my sister on the wonderfulness that is Choppin' Broccoli.

I'm a little surprised that they're doing any full-song musical performances during this... But if anyone deserves one, it's Paul McCartney. I also just realized that SNL started before John Lennon died. Holy crap. That's a long time.

There are a lot of previously-done 'best of' montages happening here... What happened to 'it's mostly gonna be live'?

OMG THE CALIFORNIANS!!!!! I'M DYING!!!! I keep referring to all the cast members by their first names and my sister doesn't know who I'm talking about. This is a problem. 'The one with the sunglasses?' 'No, the one in the plaid'. 'Yeah that's Bill'. Bradley Cooper does an amazing job. And he's the father of Kristen's baby. And I'm loving Taylor Swift too. BETTY!!!!!! (And she's talking normally of course) THEY CRACKED!!!! Yesss! First crack of the night!! I never thought I'd see Bradley Cooper and Betty White make out. For not the first time in my life, I'm incredibly jealous of Betty White. 

YES YES YES YES YES!!!!!!

Crossover to the flight attendants sketch. David Spade bringing the snark. He's so underrated. But I'm confused - they got Cecily to do it this time, who used to do it with him?

3-lady Weekend Update. Best. Idea, Ever. Although I'd love for my baby Seth to be there with his cheeky smile. FOX News zinger in there too. BAM!
Emma Stone as Roseanne Rosanadanna (I have no idea how to spell that name). That's so cute.
EDWARD NORTON AS STEFON???!!!! OH MY GOD I CAN'T HANDLE THIS!!!! And then real Stefon - this is better than when Nicolas Cage was on 'Get in the Cage!' SETH!!! I could not be happier right now!!! 
Melissa McCarthy as Matt Foley was great, then Amy's sarcastic 'oh no, this is the only desk we have' and a last-second Land Shark tribute (apparently played by Bobby Moynihan)! Wonderful!
I miss 'Really?!!' so so so much. The worst part about Amy leaving was no more of that.
'Bitch is the new black'. Oh yeah. Seth in a navy tux. *swoons*.

Amy could care less.Love it.

I just had to explain to my sister the sad story of Phil Hartman. The Colon Blow fauxmercial is hilarious, but we weren't exactly laughing.

Martin Short is a fascinating person. I don't understand how he's so adorable and so ominous at the same time. AND MAYA RUDOLPH!!! AS BEYONCE!!!! MY FAVOURITE GIRL DOING ONE OF HER BEST IMPRESSIONS!!! AND SINGING IS INVOLVED!!! SHE'S SO IN HER ELEMENT. That woman needs her own show. OK full confession - I've never really liked Garth and Kat. We get it. You're unprepared. And you have weird vests. Give Maya more lines!!

Maya Rudolph: The SNL castwoman I would most like to be BFFs with.

Ana Gasteyer knows where my funny bone is. Her and Will doing that Culp Twins sketch was killing me.
CHOPPIN BROCCOLI!!! Oh come on, you're not going to give him time to do the whole song?!! Not fair... Adam Sandler looks like my uncle.
I HAVE NOT SEEN A 'WHAT'S UP WITH THAT' SKETCH IN SO LONG!!!! AND JASON IS BACK AS THE RUNNING MAN I CAN'T BREATHE!!!

Pictured: The third thing that caused me to hyperventilate in the last ten minutes. SUDEIKIS!!!!

I think 'love theme from Jaws' is an oxymoron. Bill Murray looks skinny.

THIS. ALL OF THIS. Two Bills is better than one.

Funny, I remember one of the Blues Brothers being taller than the other one... Then again, Jim Belushi is taller than John, may he rest in peace. My sister actually knew who he was. Good job, sister.

I knew Eddie Murphy as 'the funny dad' in a bunch of random movies when I was a kid. It's strange to think of him as an SNL cast member. Let alone a legendary one.

I had no idea Wayne Gretzky had ever been on SNL... But along with Mike Myers as Wayne from 'Wayne's World', that's an awesome pair of Canadian Waynes.

It's no secret, Will Forte is one of my favourite underrated SNL cast members of all time. But the ESPN commentating sketch was never his best one. Couldn't we do a MacGruber bit?!! Or three?!! That man also needs his own show.

Miss you Will!!!! (Although lose the 'stache)

Why is this show obsessed with Arcade Fire? They had one of the guys introduce Miley Cyrus (MUUUUTE, BTW, they could have had SOMEONE more important and classic than her on here, I mean how dare they put her and Sir Paul in the same category... Plus why is she singing a Paul Simon song?? They have the man himself RIGHT THERE!!!) and they're not even that popular in Canada. Where they're from. As am I.

I think I just spotted Jeff Goldblum in the audience. Did he ever host? Look at all these famous people!! That shot of Michael Douglas contained Edward Norton. Which reminds me - Edward Norton is always so serious and scary in his movies (Wes Anderson films, aside) that seeing him on SNL as this adorable cheerful person just makes me so happy. And I'm still astonished that they got him to be Stefon earlier. This is like the Oscars, I just keep looking in the background for interesting people.

I have such a soft spot for Edward Norton. Seth, clearly, does not.

MOM JEANS!! No need for redoing it - it's perfect as-is.

Aw.. sad moment about Tracey Morgan not being well enough to be there. But for them to use a Bryan Fellows bit as a tribute to him was perfect. That was always hilarious.

Why is Kanye lying on the floor. Why. Why. Oh right nevermind, it's 'artistry' and he's a genius. Sorry I asked. Can we get Dana Carvey to play Beck and come out and smack him in the face?
(Friendly monthly reminder, Dana Carvey follows me on Twitter. Be jealous. Be very jealous.)
Oh hello Sia, I didn't see you there. Probably because you're wearing a tutu on your head again. Is Kristen going to dance?

All I am thinking is that they could have used these musical interlude times for sketches. Or Digital Shorts. Shame. At least Kanye is a bit more of an influential, longer-lasting musician than Miley (although don't tell him I said that!)

OK now they're doing a tribute to the pre-recorded bits. Good. Although not nearly enough Digital Short bits. If it were up to me, they'd have a full 3-hour special just of Digital Shorts. But that's just me. So I was mistaken, during that Kanye performance, apparently it wasn't Sia, it was Zach Galifianakis. My bad!

OH DEAR GOD THEY MADE A NEW DIGITAL SHORT!!! WITH SANDLER!!!! AND IT'S ABOUT CRACKING UP (BREAKING) DURING SKETCHES!!!! Ripoff of Tina Turner's 'You're Simply the Best' and dare I say it - that was the best Digital Short ever. A self-referential sketch is the best kind of sketch.

Bill joined them and my heart soared.

Oh no, they had to do an 'in memoriam' bit. Bring down the tone. Now I'm sad. And Bill is too. Although the stopping and then restarting of the applause for each person is a little awkward. And it always makes me so sad when they have a picture of two cast members (John and Radna, Phil and Chris Farley) who are both deceased. And I miss Don Pardo's voice so much.
But then they brought it back up again - Jon Lovitz is not dead!!! But the Generalissimo still is! Ooooh SNL, you clever people.
(My sister has pointed out that it would be really really awkward if Jon Lovitz is the next SNL cast member to die. Let's hope none of them ever do.) 

WAYNE'S WORLD!!!! YESSSS!!!!! They couldn't not. I mean come on. And Mike hadn't been in any sketches yet. And they poked fun at Kanye West. Excellent.
Garth thinks Beck was even better than Beyonce. Yet another reason for me to love Garth. And they love Lorne (although their wine glasses are clearly fake). "We're not worthy!! The crew, ladies and gentlemen!!" I worked backstage at plays in highschool - and I can tell you, the crew is the most underrated part of the production.

SIT YOUR ASS DOWN KANYE!!!! Attaboy Garth.

Oh sure, NOW they let Paul Simon sing. I can't believe it's almost over. Three and a half hours. I would have easily sat through six. It's a long weekend, I've got nothing to do. (Sister has gone to bed, she missed the last 20ish minutes. I will force her to watch the PVR recording tomorrow. Especially that Wayne's World sketch. That was beautiful.)

This just in: Lorne Michaels is 70. This also just in: Lorne Michaels does not in any way shape or form, look as though he's 70.

NCIS: LA - Forest for the Trees

Hello everyone!!! I am super tired because I wrote a 1,200 word essay over the weekend, and then wrote a misterm today, on 4 hours of sleep. What'd y'all do today?
I'm in desperate need of a nap...

Firstly, let me say I love the title of this episode. I love the phrase that title comes from. I love this show. I love everything. But maybe that's just the caffeine talking.

Sam and Callen are meeting some dude in a sketchy truck at the side of the road in the middle of nowhere ("Why do they never want to meet at Starbucks?" Callen asks) and then *poof* some smoke comes out from underneath the truck and it somehow blinds and/or deafens them and down they fall...


Deeks paid eighteen dollars for his lunch. I know everything is expensive in LA, but sheesh... Suddenly amongst the cute bickering over whether or not he can actually cook, he and Kensi notice that Callen and Sam are missing.

Granger finds out that he wasn't invited to the Christmas party. Know why? BECAUSE GRANGER ALWAYS RUINS THE FUN!!!

See, this looks like fun! And Granger is conspicuously absent...

Sam and Callen wake up from taking a nap on a dirt floor.  About time, boys, you need to escape! But seriously, how many times this season can the two of them be taken hostage/trapped somewhere?? First the submarine, then in Mexico... Other than Eric in the mole episode, nobody else has taken a turn. Oh, and I guess Callen in that office building episode - then Kensi and Deeks voluntarily made themselves hostages. But that's not the same.


Eric has problems staying on topic when he's worried. Me too, buddy. Also, this show has finally caught up to the real-world terrorist problems, and they're talking about ISIS.


Callen and Sam manage to open an escape hatch out of their prison, and after some quality married-couple-type banter, Callen needs to go get the screwdriver.

Turns out nobody tried to steal Sam's super-nice car after they were kidnapped, so Kensi and Deeks manage to easily find the location and the crucial evidence. Did the kidnappers lock up the car afterwards? What nice kidnappers.

Hetty and Granger have one of those tense conversations where she puts her people first and he puts the operation first, she says "I'm one step ahead of you Owen" and he goes "You always are, Henrietta." and she smiles like 'you know that's right'. Then he mentions that he might actually have feelings, and everyone at home does a collective *gasp*.

"I'm as concerned about them as you are. But my tone of voice will not change at all to reflect this."

Meanwhile, back at the ranch... Sam and Callen are walking around outside and they're in a forest. They see a fence and say 'it's too easy' and I called it - ELECTRIC FENCE!! Then a random handsome guy in a suit shows up behind them and yells 'don't move or you'll be dead'. AAH!
Not to worry, he's actually a GOOD handsome guy who (from 20 feet away) managed to spot that Callen stopped conveniently JUST brushing up against a tripwire. He's the missing NSA agent they were supposed to be getting info about - but he didn't go missing until that very morning. While on a Starbucks run.

This episode brought to you by Starbucks.
Starbucks: The best place to meet up with sources and/or get kidnapped.

Deeks and Kensi go to a trailer of a drug/weapons dealer or something purporting to be a 'management solutions' business, and Deeks starts quizzing the guy about importing fiddleheads and such. Then the guy runs and poor Deeks is forced to dive into some water that 'looks cold' to catch him. 

You'd think a surfer like Deeks would be more graceful with water... This reminds me of that scene from City Slickers where Billy Crystal has to rescue that cow.

Ops gets the information in on the NSA agent who was abducted - AND IT'S NOT THE SAME GUY FROM THE FOREST!!! UH OH!!!  Then Deeks and Kensi threaten to take the drug/weapon whatever guy into the middle of the sketchy part of town and loudly thank him for snitching to them. Which is a pretty genius plan if you think about it. Also allows for optimal sarcasm.

Still walking through the forest, then the handsome fake-NSA guy says 'Sorry guys nature calls' and he walks off into the forest. With a smile. And then they cut to commercial. Because that's not ominous at all... And then Sam just kinda follows him, clearly thinking something's up, and we notice that he's got a gun stashed in a tree trunk but can't grab it with Sam watching. Seriously dude? Peeing? That was your plan? Dudes pee next to other dudes all the time, if you weren't up to no good, you would have just picked a tree and told the other two to turn their backs!!

Callen and Sam find a crappy rundown building with the circuit breaker for the fence, and then Sam finds the REAL NSA agent tied up and bloody in the back room.

Deeks and Kensi are undercover at a restaurant where Granger is meeting some double-agent guy. The cooking sucks. Shocking.

Why did the bad guy let Sam go into that room where the real NSA guy was? Where the hell did Callen find that gun?? And why would he have told the NSA guy where the meeting was taken place? Even if they did trust him, why did he need to know where it was?? Why does it take 6 bad guys to storm a teeny restaurant to kill 2 guys?? There is so much logic missing here... BUT OHHH MAN they gave him the ole switcheroo - told him the wrong location for the meeting, so the ISIS agents that show up at the fake one were surrounded and gunned down, thank god. Granger and the informant and Kensi and Deeks are all safe.

Sam is a genius - instead of running after the fake guy when he took off, he runs back into the building and flips ON the electric fence, so he runs into it and explodes.
Apparently the bad guys left Sam and Callen's guns and phones just lying around in the building, and the fake guy didn't even move to stop them. And in the amount of time they were in the building, Callen texted the fake meeting location, they cleared the building AND set up the agents to swoop in? Playing it fast and loose with timing there, but ookaaaay...

Granger likes Deek's nachos. Everyone else lied about liking them, to be polite 'because it was Christmas' but now it's February and you can all be mean? Aww. I'm not sure who I feel bad for - Deeks because he can't cook, or Granger because everyone's laughing and he's not in on the joke.

OK we got a little more screentime for Eric and Nell this week, but over the last couple episodes were seriously lacking in Nellric banter. I NEED MORE NERD LOVE!!!

Big Bang Theory - The Anxiety Optimization/The Troll Manifestation

Full disclosure: I kind of forgot Big Bang Theory was back on, because they were gone for a few weeks after Christmas, and I have a class that interferes with the timeslot anyways... Oops. I'll try to bang off two episodes really quickly.

Episode 13 - The Anxiety Optimization

Bernadette's nickname for Sheldon is 'the virgin pina colada'. Clever! He's white, alcohol free, and a little nutty. And having someone sneak up on you while you're wearing noise-cancelling headphones is NOT FUN. My dad walks really quietly and sneaks up on my CONSTANTLY. If I ever have a real heart attack, it will be because I've been startled too often by that man.

Apparently 'a murder' and 'spontaneous coitus with Leonard' would cause Penny to make the same sounds of distress.

Raj's dog drinks his bath water. Ew. And he clearly loves her more than his girlfriend!!

I'm agreeing with Sheldon even more this episode - the squeaky noises balloons make is the WORST!!
'Emily or Cinnamon' is becoming my favourite quiz game hahaha you can play it here:  http://www.cbs.com/shows/big_bang_theory/photos/1003326/a-big-bang-theory-game-emily-or-cinnamon-/
Sheldon asks them all to disagree with him in order to increase his anxiety level and THEY'RE SO GOOD AT IT!! Clearly they've been holding that in for YEARS...
And it turns out Sheldon loves Taylor Swift!!

Don't we all, Sheldon, don't we all...

Raj is a Libra! Hey me too! And so is Cinnamon...
Sheldon is not behaving properly on date night, his hat is stinky, and he has been hallucinating lately. If Jim Parsons doesn't win another Emmy this season, for this episode alone, I cry foul!
Oh no, he's taking the bus without his bus pants!! And he thinks the guy beside him is an armadillo. 
Raj has dog hair in his mouth. Ew. Although that may not be his fault - I regularly find cat hair in my bowls of cereal, and my cat gets nowhere near the dishware.

Episode 14 - The Troll Manifestation

Sheldon finally gets to give Leonard a 'good job' sticker he's been saving for ages. I'm so proud!
The two of them finally work together on something - I recall this not going over very well in the past... And Sheldon needs to stop eating scented marks!!
Raj is no good at improv.

Not everyone can be these dudes.

The girls have decided to watch Penny's killer-gorilla movie. Which is terrible.
Sheldon and Leonard's paper gets an anonymous troll commenting on it. And Sheldon wants to fire back at him because 'when you mess with the bull, you get the horns, and I'm gonna show him just how horny I can be'. At the risk of sounding like Archer - PHRASING!!
Penny finds a video of Bernadette in a beauty pageant, and Penny thinks she looks like a cupcake. I think she looks more like a certain video game princess...

Amy writes Little House on the Prairie fanfiction about herself and a time-traveling physicist named Cooper. (which doesn't make sense because fanfiction should involve characters from the original fiction...)
The troll calls the physicists 'no better than engineers' and that is such an insult to them, naturally. Sheldon threatens the troll and says 'fine let's meet in person' and then the guy tries to Skype them - but how does Sheldon know it's the same guy?? He was anonymous online!!

Turns out the troll was Stephen Hawking!! And he was just messing with them because he was bored and he actually really liked their paper!! AWWWWWE!!! I love that he has a sense of humour. (Also I really hope Eddie Redmayne wins the Oscar for playing him in The Theory of Everything)
I love that Bernadette and Penny get so invested in the fanfiction hahaha after they made fun of her...

Well hello there, Sheldon's back...

Leonard actually gets sort of into it too... that is, until they reach a love scene and then he's had enough haha. No surprise there. *Cringe*

NCIS: LA - Black Wind

Some dudes didn't stop at a border checkpoint, one of them ran away and the other one is 'bleeding' from the nose... Green. Green blood. Didn't CSI do an episode about green blood??

Deeks is going all environmentally-friendly. And not letting them flush their pee. I'm with Callen, that's hella unsanitary. He got stabbed in the butt by a cactus. And no one will help him remove it.

Apparently it's something to do with anthrax. Uh-oh. Hetty has also surfed every corner of Mexico.

Hetty is not impressed by your beach-bum ways, Deeks!!

Marty shouted 'Morgan Freeman' when Kensi pulled the cactus out of him. I'm not sure whether that was a reference to the 40-Year-Old Virgin chest-waxing 'Kelly Clarkson!' thing, or....

Maybe Deeks was just taking the name of the Lord in vain?

5L of anthrax is enough to take out most of southern California. Does that scare anyone else? Scares the hell out of me... Although I don't live in California, so I think I'm safe.

Callen and Sam go to meet with Agent Fuentes, who I thought was the dude from their first Mexican adventure, but apparently not.. Because it's a girl. Who kinda looks like Cecily Strong.

I think Mexico brings out Sam's inner calculator - as he and Callen bond over knowing the exact tax percentage on something.

Then they start arguing (rather adorably) about the proper way to cook something. Some sketchy police officer comes along and tries to bribe them into 'renewing their license' until some construction guy who also conveniently works on the health department steps in. And he tells them they should 'pay for some protection'. That doesn't sound creepy at all... BUT THAT'S OK BECAUSE HE'S THIS GUY:

How about a member of a gang? Do they call you that?

Kensi and Deeks (who I'm pretty sure are wearing matching couple outfits) find the driver of the truck from the beginning, the passenger was his son. He shoves some pipes onto them and Deeks gets grass stains catching him (poor baby) and then proceeds to ask him a bunch of plumbing questions.

This is not the first time Eric has magically been able to find people, but how the hell does he know that one dude eats lunch at the same place every day? Said dude is a scientist who works with pesticides. He tells Sam and Callen that you do not 'congregate with groups of Americans'. Well ok then.

Apparently there's a tunnel that's used for drug smuggling, which is how the father and son at the beginning got into the country. Deeks cracks wise and Granger gives him a blank face.

Callen and Sam go to move their truck - and then the truck won't stop moving. They try putting it in neutral, turning off the ignition, everything - EXCEPT FOR THE DAMN EMERGENCY BRAKE WHICH CALLEN ONLY USES AT THE VERY LAST SECOND. Like c'mon guys, that would have been my first instinct. I'm just confused about how you can disconnect the ignition so it turns the car on, but then the car continues running even when you try to shut it off.. But oh well, I never claimed to be a mechanic.

They get into the tunnel and someone shuts off the power and then starts shooting at them. The father gets hit, then refuses to go to the hospital (where his son is, isn't that counter-intuitive?!) Then we're treated to a rare moment of Granger sass - Deeks tells him 'control the bleeding!' and he retorts with 'control the shooter!'

Not bad. But we all know who the sassiest Granger of them all is...

Granger also tells them not to do anything stupid, which they take to mean 'go on ahead and attempt to shut down a factory full of ANTHRAX and who knows how many armed dudes on your own'. Ugh. They also find the body of the taxi driver that was working with Agent  Fuentes - although they'd have no way of knowing who he is. As soon as she finds out, she feels all guilty, and then 'the show must go on' and Kensi & Deeks show up and they do the whole 'split up and search for clues' thing.

O-ho, the 'no congregating with Americans' guy is dead. Raise your hands if you saw that coming.

CHILDREN!! I told you to stop watching this show!! Isn't it past your bedtime?!!

Kensi and Deeks get safely to the family of the anthrax victim, and even though the little boy is scared, Deeks bonds with him over Mighty Mouse.

Cartoons are the perfect way to calm down a scared child right before they're attacked.

But then Eric and Nell call to say that the scientist guy just crossed the border - a little odd because they're looking at his body. Apparently his car had some kind of special clearance with the border, because that's not a glaring hole in national security. With the touch of a button, Eric Photoshops the fake facial hair off photo of the guy crossing the border, and...

DAMMNIT ESTEBAN!!!!

And I'm confused, aren't dangerous drug-smuggling Mexicans dangerous enough? Why do they have to be linked to middle-Eastern terrorists as well?? And why did this dude not use the readily-available smuggling tunnel to smuggle the anthrax?? Why risk being caught with it at the border??

"I only have two left" - Oh sure, NOW Callen's gun has a limited supply of bullets...

Callen can count! Archer would be proud!

CALLEN AND SAM JUST MADE A GHOSTBUSTERS REFERENCE YOU GUYS LIKE A LONG ONE AND IT WAS REALLY OBVIOUS AND I AM SO FREAKING PROUD OF THIS SHOW!!!!

*SOB* Weird timing, too, because I watched Groundhog Day today.

Then Homeland Security arrives and is mean and takes away the grandfather and everyone's all sad and the little boy yells and Deeks that he's 'supposed to be the good guys'. Oops. No amount of retro animation is gonna fix this one.

But good-guy Granger to the rescue!! And so Deeks hugs him. Awwwe. Plus the cactus blooms, which is.. important, I guess?

BTW, my reference game is on FIRE today. 3 TV shows and 5 movies. *self-five*