SNL - Blake Shelton

I don't know a lot about Blake Shelton, other than he's a country singer, a judge on The Voice and has a bromance with Adam Levine.  No idea how he'll do as an actor, but I guess he can't do any worse than Justin Beiber...

Teehee.

The cold open is about that weird football inflation scandal.. I think Taran is channeling his own Ashton Kutcher impression for this Tom Brady impression. And Kate got to scream at someone, Bobby got to scream back at her... Basically, this whole thing being blown out of proportion (I see what I did there).

Yeeeah, nobody thought you were.

Blake referred to himself as the 'Justin Beiber of country music' and oh dear, that's really not a compliment, you know... Oh so now he's going to sing the monologue hahaha. I wonder if he's gonna be able to hide his accent at all in the sketches? Leslie's wearing a blonde wig and wants to be excused.

Parody of The Bachelor with Blake as a country guy from Iowa trying to convince a bunch of girls to marry him and move to Iowa with him. They're basically all clones of each other and don't care about how crappy his hometown is. This is pretty much like what the actual Bachelor is like, I swear. And then Aidy throws a loop in the pattern and starts crying about her dad dying (ten years ago). I'm surprised they didn't have any of the guys dressed in drag for this sketch.

Pictured: Literally any season of The Bachelor. Ever.

Now Blake (in a bad wig), Kate, and Aidy (in a wig reminiscent of one of the Judd sisters) are singing a song about a 'wishing boot' that comes to answer the prayers of people... this is so weird... The song almost sounds like a commercial. For food. (PS Seth Meyers tweeted that he loved this sketch. So who am I to question the master?)

(Commercial break) What the heck, they made another Spongebob movie? This one kinda/sorta live action?? But... why?!

FAMILY FEUD!!! I love Keenan's impression of Steve Harvey!! And everyone else's impressions of other people!! Really, Blake's playing himself? They couldn't pretend he was some other country singer? Taran's impression of Adam Levine is awesome. I forgot Keith Urban (Kate) was Australian... Sasheer's pretty funny as Nicki Minaj! Beck looks nothing like Harry Connick Jr. (Or Michael Buble, for that matter). And I love Kyle, but his Steven Tyler could use some work. Although A+ job by the costume department on him!! Very accurate!! And apparently Adam and Blake just want to make out (off-camera, of course).

He DID steal it from Smokey the Bear!! I knew it!!

I've never liked country music. A lot of people at my university do, and for some reason there are a disproportionate number of country bars in my hometown, but it has 100% never been my thing. Other than a little Martina McBride and Shania Twain when I was really small. But that was more pop than country...

UPDAAATE!!! Everyone's so excited about the State of the Union - especially him LITERALLY BURNING JOHN BOEHNER WHICH WAS AN AWESOME JOKE!!! More football jokes... And all I could think of is this:

Bobby plays Riblet, Michael's friend from childhood, mocking his job, who apparently has been reading 'since he was 15'. So he does a bunch of the jokes. Is this Bobby auditioning to take over Update? As long as he doesn't take Jost's job, I'm cool.
Colin too deadpannly said that joke about his dad never hugging him... AND THEN HE SMILED AND NODDED VIGOROUSLY AFTER ONE OF MICHAEL'S JOKES!! I'LL TAKE IT!

Pete is apparently afraid he might be gay, he wrote this piece just to convince his girlfriend that he isn't - and says Colin's a straight 8, and a gay 10. I think he's more of a straight 9... And I can't speak for gay people. But his reaction to the audience screaming over him was adorable. And Michael thinks Colin look stupid in instant reply, but I DISAGREE!!

Michael's ex-girlfriend (Sasheer) is reporting for them and they just keep arguing - Colin doesn't want to be dragged into this, so he wheels offscreen - NO COLIN SWEETIE COME BACK WE WANNA SEE YOU! Turns out this girl is dating someone new - AND IT'S RIBLET!! Hahahah

Good job Riblet. I hope we see more of this guy.

 (Commercial break) OK can we seriously stop putting covers of famous songs into commercials?!! It's driving me nuts! Don't get me wrong, I love peanut butter, but I don't need to associate Elton John's 'Your Song' with those Kraft teddy bears!!!! Grrr...

I don't really see the point of this next sketch, Cecily, Bobby and Blake on a parole board, emphatically refusing parole to Keenan, who is a prisoner who ate people and is deluded into thinking they're all still 'on the fence' about their decision. And apparently he'd eat his younger self if he could. I have to say, I can't decide which was funnier, Keenan's casual obliviousness or the other three being so damn emphatic.

I'm a little uncomfortable about the next one, Taran as an old man who wrote a song (sung by Blake) about his dead wife which was all sweet and then turned really unpleasant.. And I'm just wondering why they don't have any more recent photos of the wife?? Those were all 50s-era sepia shots. But the makeup team did an awesome job making Taran look old.

This is actually an unusual amount of in-sketch singing they've gotten Blake to do. Maybe they had as much faith in his acting abilities as I did. But he's done pretty well!

Last sketch of the night, Taran as a magician, who Blake keeps heckling from the audience. He wants Taran to use his powers to make him rich. And know what women are thinking. And he wants to be a black guy. Or have Wolverine claws. Or guns for hands. Or chicken nuggets with ranch. Or the power to go down on himself (hey, didn't you know, all you need for that is to remove two sets of ribs, just ask Marilyn Manson... Right?)

The end!! J.K. Simmons, a.k.a. the greatest male parental figure in Juno (I know he's been in other things, but I love that movie and I love him in it, so shhh...) is hosting next week, with a musical guest I've never heard of. So... yay! See you then!

Saturday Night Live - Martin Freeman

It wasn't until 5:00 today that I remembered it's Saturday, and therefore SNL was on tonight...
I have no idea what day of the week it is anymore. Exams are the Britta of school.

They're the worst.

For that reason, my BBT blog is late this week, and my NCIS:LA one probably will be too. Sorry. And I may just fall asleep in the middle of this one.

The opening interview is with two guys (Bobby and Kyle, who finally gets to play an adult) who are the guys who invented all the torture methods for the CIA. They also invented the self-checkout lane at grocery stores, and the customer service at the cable companies. And auto-correct. Damn these guys.

Martin Freeman is adorable. He'd be perfect for an elf - doesn't even need the prosthetic ears! He proceeds to list every single role on his IMDb page... Except Sherlock, oddly enough... Give it up for racial unrest!! (No one does). Apparently all famous British people hang out together. I got really excited for a second that the real Maggie Smith would be there, but it's just Kate doing an impersonation - Taran got to do an Alan Rickman-worthy Snape. And yea, Maggie Smith is classy enough to wear the Downton Abbey costume as pyjamas. She's the best. And if Martin embarrasses himself, I'll need to change the title of this post to 'SNL - Colin Firth' hahaha.

Bow down to this woman. Do it. It's the law.

Keenan stars in a wannabe Digital Short piece called 'Sump'm Claus' about a dude who will give everyone some money even if they've been naughty enough for Santa Claus to cross them off his list. It's an odd concept, but I will say this - incredibly catchy.

Martin is like a head shorter than Leslie. Even moreso with her hair all pouffy like that. And they're getting married! By Beck. She's a basketball player, he's... tiny. All their wedding guests are objecting to them getting married. Apparently they have only known each other for five days. And have done it like 50 times. Then they fight when they're not... getting busy. And apparently he's already married. I'm so confused. The bride has a lot of kids (double three, plus four), and Kenan is her dad - who's the mother? Kenan is a LOT shorter than she is. Genetics. Apparently Martin lied and told her he was the king of England. but they're good. I think the bride's name is Alberta. And if so, that's the second time they've used that name for a character this season. Branch out a little - try another Canadian province. Nova Scotia, perhaps? Sooo a bunch more people object, then he says he 'needs his chocolate' and they are pronounced husband and wife without saying 'I do' or anything. There was like zero resolution to that sketch.

OH DEAR GOD HE'S WEARING THE HOBBIT COSTUME!! They're doing an Office parody, Middle-Earth-style. Bobby sounds nothing like Gandalf. And Taran is Gollum, which is such an insane disguise that I had to stare at him to figure out who it was. Kyle is Legolas. And he's cute, but c'mon, he's no Orlando. It wasn't a bad concept for a sketch.

Taran and Cecily are a couple with their own talk show and they all talk like stereotypical sassy gay men (including Cecily) and Martin is a handyman they're going to interview later on but they keep throwing to him, keeping the camera on him for an awkwardly long time, then talking about how cute he is. Then he dances for no reason. And Kate is playing Keith Urban, and Taran's license plate is apparently DRAMANQN.

Fauxmercial for church, and I'm just nodding and laughing - especially at the priest who alternates talking speeds, and the sweaty-palmed guy who gives the sign of peace. I'm not going to lie, my mom has definitely been that over-enunciating reader lady. And Kyle's a kid again.

MUUUUUUUUUUUUTE. I hate this song. And she's not wearing pants. They're probably supposed to be shorts, but they're white and puffy, so they kinda look like a diaper. Isn't she cold?? IT'S WINTER FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!! She also has like, zero facial expression. Which is weird.

OK I might just be going crazy because I'm so tired, but the announcer voice saying 'Weekend Update' sounded a lot less like Darrell Hammond and a lot more like Bill Hader. WHICH I WOULD LOVE BY THE WAY!! #HaderForSNLAnnouncer 
I noticed the price of oil was lower lately - it was like 96 cents (Canadian) a liter this week and everyone was freaking out. Sasheer is mad that there are no black people in emoji. She has a point. Especially that the moon face looks like a baby Charles Barkley. Colin does not understand their equations, so Michael has to translate.
Cecily is a one-dimensional female character from a male-driven comedy. She's discussing the lack of important female roles in Hollywood. And then she gets upset with Colin and he's really confused (although I think she's actually laughing). What record store?? And she took off her glasses!! So he noticed her! That was a good bit.

I don't see her...

Apparently Colin's high school yearbook picture got made fun of. But I think he's adorable (although I've seen the *after* photo, so I'm biased).

HAHAHAHAHA ok the hair's unfortunate. But that's a good solid chin. He grew into the chin.
And no one looks good in black and white.

 Hasn't this Jacob kid had his bar mitzvah 'recently' like 3 years in a row? Michael calls him on the fact that he doesn't actually have a lawyer. And then he starts crying about Derek Jeter. And can't high-five Michael properly.

Martin is training Taran on his first day at a new job (an assembly line that puts the labels on ketchup bottles) and literally all he has to do is move a lever. EASIEST JOB EVER. But Taran doesn't understand anything. "So I don't touch it?" "I'm miming!"
"Pull the lever when the light turns green, if it turns yellow push it back up." "Blue?" "There is no blue!" A little reminiscent of Who's on First. Also the slowest-moving assembly line ever. And then is turns blue! Oh no!

My TV has turned all stripey. Or maybe that's my eyes that have turned all stripey. They hurt. I've been staring at a sketchbook for the last 3 hours, and a computer screen studying for 3, then an exam paper for 2 before that. Ow.

Martin has hilarious hair. He's a saxophone player (reminiscent of Kenny G) in Kenan's lodge house band, and he has something weird going on with some dude named Roman in his personal life that he doesn't walk to talk about. During a performance, of a song with only like 6 words. Kenan was staying with him and there was a break-in and his red boots were stolen. They look like the boots from Kinky Boots. There was no resolution there either. What's up with that? (I wish...)

Wrong red boots. Wrong person whose name begins with a T. But they've both kissed Cobie Smulders...

MUUUUUUTE AGAIN. She's actually wearing pants now. But they have... Things hanging off of them. And she's flailing her arms and I'm afraid she's going to dislocate a wrist. Her guitar players (who I've just only now noticed are women in suits, rather than long-haired dudes) look very angry.

Martin is an over-enthusiastic waterbed salesman. Aidy is his jingle-singing wife, who is slightly cross-eyed and extremely overdressed. The Doritos clown is not a real thing. Aidy is awesome. Jay and Taran are shirtless, looking pissed and holding sparklers. Martin's American accent is really excellent. He reminds me 100% of Niles from Frasier. Uncanny.

Colin in a T-shirt again during the goodbyes. *Swoons*. Those arms are like tree trunks. In a good way. And now, I'm off to bed!

Saturday Night Live - James Franco

My cousin was just saying that Keenan's getting too fat to play Al Sharpton - and then they addressed it hahah. Apparently the problem with the video of the Eric Garner case was that it wasn't high enough resolution. Oy.

I used to love James Franco, and you can't deny he's a good actor, but lately he's just gotten... weird. Also I don't like the short hair. And he's not cuter than his brother! Dave wins.
Oh hey! It's Seth Rogen!! Yaaaaay cameos!! That was a really short monologue.

Maybe because James can't read...

Oh thank god they're making fun of the live Peter Pan show. It's such a weird idea. Especially with a girl as Peter. And they brought back Aidy as Tonkerbell and it's hilarious. Franco's imitation of Walken as Captain Hook is actually really good! Good for him!

Tonkerbell is back.. And she has a boyfriend!

All the characters from Star Wars are really old.. And Han Solo left the Millennium Falcon's blinker on. I wasn't aware you had to signal a turn in a spaceship.

The next part is hilarious - it's an MTV Nativity scene - rappers as the 3 kings (Taran did an awesome Eminem, James as Sean Paul, Keenan as Rick Ross), Justin Beiber (Kate) as Joseph, and Beyonce (Nicki Minaj) as Mary. And then, of course, Kanye as Jeezus, and Jay actually made us all laugh.

I thought they fired Mike O'Brien? As an actor, at least. Why is he always in the pre-taped sketches? Beck is playing an asshole who keeps asking people uncomfortable questions, then Mike as to 'grow' a person to prove that he has another friend, and then train him to be a human... But they see through his identity because he asks about what the deal is with hashtags.

The next bit is about a pair of people stuck in the forest, trying to cross a bridge and the troll (James) who lives in the bridge wants to kiss them. But Kyle says he can't kiss Aidy, his fiancee, and Cecily steals the scene with her random character Kathy-Anne who lives with the bridge troll and complains about her life. So he kisses Kyle (I'm slightly jealous of either of them...) and then decides he's bisexual and I didn't really see a point of the whole scene.

UPDAAATE! They started with a bit about Michael pretending to be surprised about the details of the Eric Garner case. He suggested that they play the videos in photo-negative so that the victim would be white and the cop would be black. That's not a bad idea... Anthony Crispino thinks Mariah Carey sounded like Drew Carrey - and that 'he forgot whose line it was anyway, sooo...'
Then they bust out a poorly-timed Bill Cosby joke that even makes Michael Che uncomfortable. And Bobby's voice went pretty high on that, I was impressed by that, if not by the joke itself.
Leslie's back! Commenting on a new dating website set up to cater to stoners. She's telling Colin that she would try anything once, and that she's very 'open'. He actually laughed because he wasn't surprised. And Leslie keeps talking to him, called him a 'Peppermint Patty' and he keeps pressing his lips together to keeps from laughing - IT'S OK TO LAUGH, COLIN!
They then decided to have Nicki play Kim Kardashian. No one will ever top Nasim's impersonation!!! Apparently all her naked photos were supposed to be educational/public service announcements. And Colin enjoyed them.

Take notes ladies - this is how it's done. (With bonus Seth)

Pete has too much stuff in his brain to remember a new password. So James is directing various things to leave - like Kyle doing a great Chris Kirkpatrick impression doing the Bye-Bye-Bye dance. And Jay brings out his Will Smith impression to do the Fresh Prince theme. Nicki played herself singing only the first two lines of Anaconda. That was a pretty good sketch. I wish I could selectively throw things out of my brain so I could remember important things - like FOR SCHOOL!

Nobody needs the word 'rhombus', anyway.

James is playing a dude who's pissed off that a four-year-old beat him in an election for mayor. He apparently has bigger muscles than this kid - and hated Frozen and 'only thought the parts with Olaf were funny'. This guy's really intense - and then James started laughing. Priceless.

The not-porn-stars-anymore are back! And advertising yachts (which they pronounced yuck-its)
And James and Seth are the random dudes - Seth's character is named James Franco.  And they pronounce Sunseeker Yachts as Seersucker Yaks. Very nice. I don't get why they always put those sketches at the end of the episode - they're always funny.

This episode was hit-and-miss. But I love when Leslie interacts with Colin. She either makes him really uncomfortable or makes him laugh so hard. And I love it either way.

SNL - Bill Hader

Disclaimer: Former cast members hosting SNL is my favourite SNL-related thing. Ever. So expect a lot of fangirling this post. Sorry in advance. ON WITH THE SHOW!!! Tonight is also the exact 39-year anniversary of the premiere of SNL. Couldn't think of a better way to celebrate!!!

Bobby makes a hilarious Kim-Jong Un, talking about how athletic he is while being extremely short and telling one of his soldiers to punch him. Side note: I never noticed this, but Beck Bennett looks a lot like a young Darryl Hammond. I'm actually very curious as to where Kim-Jong Un actually has been the last few weeks. North Korea is weird.

BILL!!!!!!! He looks so skinny!! Maybe that's just the suit. And he's nervous, awww... Apparently Megan Mullalley is the one who discovered him and told Lorne to hire him - THANK YOU MEGAN!!!! We owe her so many laughs!!! KRISTEN!!!!!!!!!! She wants Bill to sing - and now I kinda do, too. "Don't make me sing!" This is not a Bill monologue! I was looking forward to a Bill monologue and it's all just Kristen singing... Oh well. I'm glad to have them both back. And then he sings and sounds like Harvey Fierstein... Who is now there too! Ohh how I love Bill's facial expressions... I wasn't at all surprised that Kristen showed up, I mean 1) they have that new movie coming out together and 2) she's everybody's favourite and 3) They are so amazing together and obviously besties.

That stache is legendary.

Herb Welch is back!!! Yaaay!! And he's interviewing Pete who's playing a highschooler who's taking a virginity pledge - and Herb thinks Taran is a mannequin. Who did they used to get to do the newsanchor for this sketch? Sudeikis? What the hell has he been up to lately? And how about Will Forte? I love that guy! Where has he been??

This next sketch is too funny - it's a mock-trailer that's a combination of all the young-adult post-apocalyptic franshises (Divergent, the Hunger Games, the Maze Runner, The Giver etc.) Bill is someone like Effie Trinket from the Hunger Games and talking in a high voice that reminds me of the Knights Who Say 'Ni' from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Pete is the main character, the 'chosen one' in this sketch - I'm so glad they're using him so much this week, he almost disappeared the last episode.

Funniest. Movie. Ever.

AND JIM CARREY IS HOSTING ON THE 25TH WHAAAAT!!!! Probably promoting the new Dumb & Dumber movie - which reminds me, I still need to watch the first one...

Kate MacKinnon does an excellent impression of Jane Lynch (although she's not nearly tall enough). Beck sound exactly like, but looks nothing like, Nick Offerman (I mean, they could have at LEAST given him blue contacts! Come on, people!) And more of Kristen!! We've reinforced what Bill said in his monologue - he only does impressions of people over 70. Al Pacino this time - who was apparently the first impression he ever did on the show.

The next fauxmercial is kinda awkward... They're making fun of those commercials where they ask for a really small amount of money to feed some people in a poor country - 'Why 39 cents??' But hey, Leslie Jones is back!

This is kind of sweet, they're showing an old sketch as tribute to Jan Hooks. Do they do this every time an ex-cast member dies? This one is really sad though, because it's her and Phil Hartman, and they're both dead now.

I've never heard of this guy Hozier before - but holy crap, that voice!!

WEEEEKENNNND UUUUPDAAAAATE!!!!! More Pete, this time as 'a hip-hop fan' explaining the new no-guns policy at the BET awards. He's so dry, too... Could give Colin a run for his money. Apparently he's 6 foot 3, 145 pounds and has a problem with wind. And he slouches. He's so cute.

He says he has bad posture because he hates himself... But look at that FACE!!!!

Billy Crystal was just accused of robbing the Yogi Berra museum! Wonder if he's going to take this! I also find it hilarious that Colin laughs at a lot of Michael's jokes, but none of his own.

I mean, he's got enough Yankees memorabilia... Right??

STEFON!!!!!!!!! YESSSS!!!!! (I totally called it, but STILL!!!!) He called Michael and Colin 'Barack and Mitt' hahaha he's cracking up, OF COURSE, I mean can you blame him?? And apparently Seth couldn't come, because he's 'at home, practicing how to sit behind a desk'.

I'd say he does a pretty good job of it.

WHAT THE HELL is that noise he just made?? I have no idea. I can't handle this. The rest of the episode could just be Stefon talking, and I would die happy. I really wish he'd interact with Colin, though - he's sitting beside Michael so they're just going back and forth. Apparently Stefon is pregnant!!! Hahaha COULD YOU IMAGINE how cute their kid would be??!!!

We need to send a huge thank-you to John Mulaney for creating Stefon (and making Bill crack up every time!!)

Now they're doing that sketch that I'd forgotten about, with the puppets where Bill's is a really scary army vet. Now with smoke coming out of the mouth!

(Commercial break) Holy crap I just realized that iPhone commercial with the two guys competing are voiced by JIMMY FALLON AND JUSTIN FREAKING TIMBERLAKE!!!

KYLE!! He hasn't done a weird-skater-guy sketch yet this season now he's hosting an 'inside SoCal' news-type show and I don't understand what's going on, but he's so cute so I don't care. Also, there are a lot of pre-recorded sketches this week.  Bill is being one of the other young dudes on the show and I don't buy it... Probably because his character is not over 70.

This Hozier guy has really strong eyebrow game.

The last sketch of the night was Aidy and Pete being adorable children who summon the Cat in the Hat (Bill) to come play with them and he knew their mother... *knew* their mother... But she's now married to Thing 2 who goes by 'Jonathing' now. (Side note, I had a cameo as Thing 2 when I helped backstage at my school's production of Seussical the Musical. True story.)

I wasn't lying.

Bill got so emotional at the goodbye, awww... and holy crap, Hozier is really tall.
My one criticism: THEY DIDN'T DO WHAT'S UP WITH THAT!!!! Although I guess too many of the people they used in that one are now gone. Sad Emily is sad.
But oh well, this was a wonderful episode and bless this show and bless all the people on it. And bless you all for reading, and bless Bill Hader for existing. (It's Canadian Thanksgiving this weekend, so I'm very grateful for things!) Goodnight to you all, and I'll see you on the 25th!

Saturday Night Live - Chris Pratt

The 40th season of SNL is starting tonight, and I couldn't be more excited!!! Partly because Chris Pratt is hosting, partly because season premieres are awesome, partly because SNL season premieres usually include a lot of cameos (like maybe by former SNL cast members?? We can only hope!) and partly because they just hired Michael Che to be the new Weekend Update anchor, and I really liked him on The Daily Show so I'm pumped to see him here!

Also announced recently, Keenan Thompson is leaving at the end of this season. He's been on the show for eleven years, which makes him the current cast member who's been there the longest, and while I've always liked him (in particular the recurring What's Up With That? and 'Scared Straight' sketches, and his Update character Jean K. Jean), he was always kind of on the edge of my radar and never really one of my favourites. But this week I read this article and it reminded me of one of the best things about Keenan - his reactions. Whether looking repulsed, astonished, or just confused, his facial expressions are always hilarious. And I'll miss them. So let's appreciate them while he's still around!

We begin with Keenan playing a football player who beats children and is on a talk show and thinks that we all need to hear that 'school buses are yellow'. Also Jay drinks Bud Light Lime. Chris Pratt plays Roger Goodell and is typically unclear on his stance on things. (But it's interesting that they put him in the cold open, that doesn't happen very often) Aidy gets the opening and away we go!

Don Pardo was a legend and as funny as Darrell Hammond is, his opening narration leaves something to be desired. He's not very emphatic. They only hired two new people since last season - the aforementioned Che, and a 20-year old named Pete Davidson. I repeat, SNL has a featured player who is younger than me. What am I doing with my life?

Chris Pratt just pulled out a guitar. If he can sing, I might just faint. *passes out*

Famous Person Cameo #1: Anna Faris (Chris' wife) in the audience during his monologue

 

She's not embarrassed... Is she?

Apparently middle-aged people new need to get turnt in order to sleep with their wives/husbands - so there's a pill for that. And they're really milking that whole Lil Jon featuring in a Lonely-Island-song-thing, aren't they?

Poor Kyle always gets cast as a little kid. He's hella adorable though. Aaaaand Chris Pratt is He-Man and only wearing half a shirt and a unitard. Apparently toys, when brought to life, start destroying houses and lusting after children's sisters. Now you know. I feel really bad for whoever has to clean up these sets. Famous Person Cameo # 1 1/2: They put Ariana Grande (tonight's musical guest) in a sketch.

CAKE.

This is a recurring sketch about a bunch of weird accent-having vet-office staff (Cecily, Chris, and Kate) who tell everyone in their waiting room that their pets are dead. They've done this sketch before... It might have been when Josh Hutcherson hosted? Can't remember.

Next they mock Guardians of the Galaxy and just say that Marvel is making a bunch of random movies with a bunch of randoms - including 'fancy ghosts' and a bunch of shopping carts. And Star Wars. Chris Pratt was wearing a Princess Leia costume, so that was pretty interesting.

You're welcome.

C'mon, I would totally see that movie.

Ariana Grande is up next, aaaand mute. She's adorable, and you can't deny that the girl's got range, but about 60% of the time, it sounds like she's singing through her upper nose, and it just drives me nuts. Sorry. Also what's with the fuzzy cat ears?

UPDATE TIIIME!!!! Aww poor Michael tripped over his first joke - but he laughed through it, so he's ok! And the background is new. It's different. I don't like it. Put it back.

HELL YES!!!! Ok when they announced last year that Cecily was talking over Weekend Update I was disappointed that That Girl You Wish You Hadn't Started a Conversation With At A Party wouldn't be around anymore. And now that Cecily's back to the regular cast - HERE SHE IS!!!! "If Neil Degrasse Tyson is so smart, why'd he bite that guy's ear off?" I AM DYING OF LAUGHTER OVER HERE. Someone send an ambulance.

I'm clearly going to the wrong kinds of parties. I've never met a girl like this.
And I love that she always made Seth laugh.

OK hold up a second. TGYWYHSACWAAP just asked Michael if he had a crush on anyone and he said there was a girl named Jessica... COULD HE POSSIBLY MEAN JESSICA WILLIAMS???!!! AS IN HIS FORMER COWORKER AT THE DAILY SHOW???!!!!

THIS JESSICA????!!!!!!

I ship it. Their babies would be hilarious.

Famous Person Cameo #2: Leslie Jones (comedian/one of the SNL writers) is a correspondent about being single - let's hear it for the loneliness!! She also hits on Colin - who I must admit is adorable, and slightly less stiff this season. Bravo Colin.

Finally, Pete the new kid shows up, as the 'resident young person' on the cast. He looks a tiny bit like Andy Samberg... Which is interesting. I miss Andy. (Casual reminder - Brooklyn 99 is back this Sunday at 8:30 on Fox). Now Keenan came out and they're singing encouragement to President Obama. Along the lines of 'Ooooh child, things are probably gonna get not worse'.

Colin is drumming and bringing the cuteness.Michael looks like he's conducting an orchestra.

Side note: bless SNL for being the only show I've ever seen to live-tweet screenshots. Makes my job a lot easier.
 
Apparently the only thing you need to do to learn how to flirt with someone is watch a lot of music videos. This has lead to Aidy Bryant singing 'Anadonda' by Nicki Minaj, which is weird. And Chris Pratt just rapped. Chris. Pratt. Just. Rapped. And as a side note, one of the girls in this sketch is named Alberta. Canadian provinces make for great baby names. For the love of god, stop talking about your ass, Aidy!

I do not understand this next sketch. Apparently it's supposed to be like a sitcom? And Chris is having issues making friends so he hangs out with a biker gang of rebellious 9-year olds, who start corrupting him. Apparently you can now call parks to see if they're closed. Kyle and Beck play his roommates - and none of them use any kind of inflection in this sketch whatsoever. "This is a fight" Chris says, walking out of the room. Thanks for letting me know, bud.

I am vaguely reminded of this Key and Peele sketch by the next bit - but instead of having ridiculous names, they all have weird criminal records. And they pulled out Colin for this one! As well as Leslie! The one player says 'I hit my wife' and then she's the next one and goes 'I'm his wife - I hit his ass back!'. The other offenses were funny.

Just in case you wanted to know what these two looked like not wearing suits or behind a desk.

OK Ariana is performing again so I wasn't really paying attention, but then I glanced back up and - who on earth is this dude and what the hell does he have on his head???

Now there are some people (Bobby, Sasheer and Pete) testing a children's video game in which painfully coloured and cheerful characters (Vanessa and Chris) tell you to put together a puzzle and then they make out. This is really awkward considering Chris' wife is in the audience... And Taran is the video game designer who, of course, sees nothing wrong with this idea.

You can't un-see this. I'm sorry.

Holy crap Pete's tall. He's pretty much the same height as Chris, who is 6'2 according to IMDb.

So that's it for tonight! I don't know why, but all the sketches seemed a little short tonight.. Although maybe that was just because I am really tired and therefore time seems inconsistent to me. Who knows. It wasn't their best episode, but it wasn't their worst. I like Michael and Colin together (except for that damn background!) and I'm really glad to see the return of That Girl You Wish You Hadn't... etc. !!! What did you think of the new Update Team? What was your favourite sketch/least favourite sketch? Leave me a comment!!