Bones - The 200th in the 10th

I am so incredibly excited for this episode. I love old movies, I love flashback/parallel universe episodes - Bones has done several of these before and they always do them WELL (remember the season 4 finale??)  - and it's their 200th episode so of course that's cause for celebration!!

This. All of this.

BTW - John Boyd (Aubrey) has a Twitter, it's right here! And I was watching Argo today, as a study break, and I found him in it!! It was very exciting - I wasn't even looking for him, he just kinda leapt out at me! (and then I remembered later on having seen on his IMDb that he had a small role in it).He had crazy sideburns and a yellow sweatervest. 'Twas adorable.

This is so cute, they're playing themselves as old movie stars, in a new movie called 'Bones'. I'm in love with this episode already. It's got everything!

Old-timey movie logo: check
Old-timey soundtrack: check
Old-timey car driving with what is clearly a green-screened background: check
Scarf around the hair: check
Wearing a trenchcoat: check
Old-timey revolver: check

Just look how happy they are!!

They're sneaking around a GIANT mansion - she's the one with the gun, he's climbing across all the balconies. Cam/Tamara is the maid (her short hair's back!) and Booth is a thief, he broke into the home's safe. Brennan/Emily is the police officer. There was a burned body in the safe.

Max is the police cheif, Angela's a receptionist - and NAILS her 50s-era voice, and then flirts with the adorable Wendell who's a press reporter. Awwww.

Asshole guy from INTERPOL has to replace her on the case, tells her she's 'easy on the eyes' and she responds with "You won't have any eyes if you keep talking like that." You go Brennan.

Did anyone in the 50s actually say 'guy'? Angela does. Bones does the old break-into-someone's-room-wait-for-them-in-a-chair-in-the-dark bit, and tells Booth to admit to the robbery so that they'll believe he didn't kill anyone.

HAHAHAHA Hodgins/TJ is a paleontologist, has tiny glasses, and Edison (his assistant) has slicked-down hair. Brennan is also full of surprises, and Booth needs a martini.

Couldn't find a better picture of Hodgin's glasses. But trust me. They were awesome.

The coroner doesn't care about the bones (silly man) and so they're able to easily steal them so that Hodgins and Edison can examine them.

Wendell is still flirting, he and Angela are teaming up to ask Vasiri (some jewel fencer) to help them prove that someone else had stolen the jewels. Angela is also bringing the sass that we saw from Brennan earlier. "Watch your step, Vaziri, unless you want to wear that drink". (He told Wendell to never try to understand a woman). LOVING THIS!

Wendell + old-timey hat = overload of cute. And check out that bow on Angela's dress!

Booth only gets to drive once he stops calling Brennan 'darling' (so, never).

Hodgins sounds like an old man. I'm loving it.
Requisite smoking vials of multi-coloured liquid, to signify that this is a lab and science happens here: check. 

CORRECTION I FOUND A BETTER PICTURE AND IT'S GLORIOUS.

Oh hey! Angela's dad makes an appearance too. He still has a guitar (albeit one made of trash - he's a hobo) and thinks Booth and Brennan are made for each other. Brennan thinks otherwise.

Hodgins being the bones expert and sounding astounded at all times is just the greatest thing.
Booth needs to stay at Brennan's house and she insists he can't go in her bedroom, she asks why, and he says "You've never let any man in there? Must be cold." She says a man has been slapped for less, then tells him to hide when Angela comes to the door - in the bedroom - and he gets all excited. Angela knows he's there, and gives Brennan some sass as well. AND THEN MENTIONS AUBREY!!! He apparently dated the victim.

*SQUEALS INTERNALLY*

Warren's on the stage, singing, at the club where they go to interview Aubrey, and Caroline's the hostess. Aubrey's adorable, denies knowing anything about the murder, and he's there dating Daisy of all people! Aubrey points out the singer and her backup.. something (dancer?), who are married, and he had an affair with the victim. So Booth starts a fight between them, then skedaddles when Angela's dad shows up out of nowhere and says the cops are there.

Somehow Jessica Warren (Rabbit?) manages to pull off the redhead-wearing-red thing. Also, she's an emoji.

Angela's dad - they're calling him Sarge - is apparently an Army vet, along with Booth, who served in WWII. Brennan suspects him. And the cops know they're working together, so they need to scram - whether Booth has finished his coffee or not.

Hodgins uses the victim's clothes to identify whether or not it was actually the lady who owned the house (she's not - plot twiiiiist!), they get Angela to draw the victim's face, and Aubrey says being framed for murder is a 'dreadful inconvenience', they trade some 'old sport's, and THEN SOMEONE FREAKING STABS AUBREY AND HE JUST GASPS AND FALLS OVER, Booth pulls the knife out of his back, and then someone takes a picture - oh no. Another dreadful inconvenience. But come on, did Booth not actually SEE the stabber?!! 

So much old-timey handsomeness in one picture.

Apparently Booth didn't want to keep thieving, and the people he robbed were those who profited off of the Nazis somehow, which is why he gave the money to his veteran buddies. Awwwe.

Hearing Hodgins tell Brennan 'the parietal - that's a bone in the head' is laughable. AAAAH PELANT!!! PELANT'S IN THE RESTAURANT!!! SOMEONE GET HIM!!!! OK I just realized that the husband of the lounge singer is Squintern Fuentes - I didn't recognize him with the horrible mustache hahaha.

Apparently the victim was killed a long long time ago, and the maid was the one who'd killed her - then stolen her identity, met Aubrey, and tried to abscond with the jewels.

They're shoved in a closet, act all 'we should try to escape' but then 'well maybe we should just make out first'. Hart Hanson pointed out that the light source in that closet is really flattering - and I concur. Cam is 'the one calling the shots here' and takes Brennan with her as a hostage instead.

Cam went to the Owen Granger School of Spoiling People's Fun.

Booth somehow escapes, uses the oldest-trick-in-the-book of using a pencil on the page below which something was written, to reveal the contours. He figures out where she's going.

Max believes Wendell, (which inspires a cute smile from Wendell) Hodgins calls Angela 'beautiful' and with that she's suddenly forgotten about all the flirting with Wendell earlier - BOO! Max calls the British guy a 'bombastic twit'. Best insult ever.

My bad. It's the second-best.

Old-timey plane: check

The pilot is stalling, then tells Cam that dumping a dead body will cost her extra. Well I would hope so!!

Booth arrives at the airport just before they take off, then decides to abandon his car because RUNNING after the plane is faster (clearly he's never watched Scorpion!)

This shot brought to you by the poster for North by Northwest - although this time, he's chasing the plane!

Then he leaps in the door as they attempt to take off with the door still open.
Cam calls him a chump, and falls over a few times, all I can think of is 'she's messing up her nice dress!' and then they all wrestle, including the pilot, who evidently doesn't need to actually FLY the plane while it's taking off. Brennan in her cloth bag almost rolls out the door - then Booth drops the jewels out the door, Cam decides they're more important than her own safety, so she falls out after them.

But OF COURSE Booth knows how to fly a plane! "This is why I like to drive". Hahaha

They make her detective, plus head of the new Forensic Science department - Wendell gets to take a picture, and Max predicts that they're going to fall in love, too. (Does no one want to catch the notorious jewel thief anymore?)

Brennan flips that 'darling' thing on its head. That's my girl. She found the jewels somehow - didn't those fall out over the mountains?? She decided not to tell the cops they were recovered, and instead gives them to Sarge.

And then our leads smooch under the stars. Awwwwe."For justice".

The End.

Bravo Bones, well done!! This episode was incredible. I loved the costumes, the hair, the dialogue, the cameos - EVERYTHING!! I really feel like watching some Hitchcock movies now. See you all in the new year!!!

Although, if we're bringing people back from the dead (I already knew John F Daley was too busy, poo) - BUT WHERE THE HELL WAS VINCENT?!!! OR ZACK?!!!! HE'S NOT EVEN DEAD!!!

Also it was trending at some point, so I tweeted this and then that tweet exploded when one of the writers retweeted it. Thanks guys!