Bones - The Resurrection in the Remains

Don't have a kegger in an old church, it's bad juju.

Typical Bones doesn't like candy for children because she's a killer of fun. But gelatin is fine? Alrighty then...

BTW I've never watched Sleepy Hollow before, but I like Nicole Beharie, and I have quite a few friends who love it. And I don't know how they're going to mix the worlds of super-science Bones with supernatural Sleepy Hollow, but it's sure to be interesting.

Hodgins is wearing creepy demonic contact lenses... It's very creepy.

Plus, why would you cover up those baby blues? 

There's a dead guy underneath the other dead guy - but this one is in a coffin from the 18th century, wearing a British redcoat uniform. And his head is missing. BTW, when you drop a jack-o-lantern, the candle doesn't stay lit, nor in place.

WENDELLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The Bones writers are being too good to me. Two Wendell episodes in like 3 weeks?!

BTW, changing the girl's hair colour and adding some peircings would not make the computer recognize her. It goes off of facial proportions. Yeesh.


Hi Abbie and Ichabod! You will be greeted with hostility, apparently.
Except from Angela, because Angela is wonderful, and nice to everybody, and she tells Ichabod she likes his jacket and he does this:

LMAO

I might need to start watching that show and skipping past the supernatural bits, just to watch him...

Brennan tells Ichabod that he and Abbie should get together. Even I know that's hilarious. Also the dead British guy is a bad dude. 

Evil book is evil, full of spells in a druid language, and the victim had it for some reason, Hodgins is all suspicious. Somehow a digital display can mimic candlelight. And the victim took the skull because apparently one of the spells can teach you how to reanimate the dead. 

*Spoooooky* 

Cam finds evidence that the victim was dead two weeks earlier - but she'd been seen since then. Also she might have been beaten to death with the soldier's missing skull.

Something about George Washington and Ichabod having the same handwriting... Time travel is impossible, apparently. And all I thought of when they were discussing 'iron gall ink' was that scene in National Treasure where the clue 'iron pen' leads them to the Declaration of Independence.

But anyways, the victim's friend killed her because she killed and brought him back and he didn't see anything on 'the other side', so he got mad. Kind of an anticlimactic end. Nothing spooky about it.

I just realized there was not a single scene with Aubrey in this episode. What the hell?!

Bones - The Donor in the Drink

Don't explain cremation to a 5-year-old... I'm still creeped out by it and I'm 22.

Aubrey is so darn happy to see Booth again, it's adorable. And he's reeeeally taken over Booth's office. Awkward. Of course Aubrey has a mini fridge, is anyone at all surprised by this??

WENDELLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My precious baby is baaaack!!!! 

Thank god for handlebar mustaches! They help make victim identification easier! He invented a flexible mailbox. I feel like Hodgins would totally rock a handlebar 'stache.

Oh my god! It's David! David Berman the actor, a.k.a. David Phillips from CSI!! Interestingly enough, there were two characters on that show with the name David, but the other one was referred to by his surname (Hodges) almost exclusively.

He's moved on quickly.

God, I miss CSI.

How the hell does a mortuary lose ashes?? That's just sad and awful. Major incompetence.

And Cam doesn't want to be pitied by all of her couple-friends. I know that feeling. But at least it's nice that they're making an effort to include her...

The dead guy was killed for his organs which were then sold on the black market. Ew. And OMG when Aubrey makes a sad face, he kinda looks like Ricky Velez from The Nightly Show. 

Like, a lot. 

Aubrey's going undercover as a guy trying to sell his liver. And the woman he contacts is Chief Vick! From  Psych! Tsk tsk, Karen. Working for black market organ dealers now??

Angela's been taking awesome artsy photos, and Hodgins is trying to set up a show to display them, but she's really not on board. His heart was in the right place, though. I love the two of them.

Bones is probably the only person who could get away with ripping open the shirt of a guy in a casket and screaming 'aha!' Because the funeral home was definitely trafficking in stolen body parts. Ewwww.

Aubrey brings Booth what he thought was the box containing Jared's ashes - it's marmalade. Which Booth then tosses in the trash and Aubrey then takes. He's the comic relief that Zach used to be, that Sweets was, that Greg was for the first 5-6 seasons of CSI. And I love it.

Chief Vick! I mean, Nina, why would you just pick up a random dead guy and believe that there's nothing sketchy about that. Meanwhile, Wendell is getting a seriously guilty conscience about the possibility of shutting down the black market for people who really need organs. You're good people, Mr. Bray.

And good looking too, amiright??

Awwww Aubrey gave Bones his old office back. I'm so happy! 

Holy crap, David's character was in fact the killer. (The victim's apprentice) and holy shit he'd donated a kidney? For money? To help keep their business alive?! Damn, that's desperate. 

So I gather from this show that Angela really liked taking pictures of stairs. And everything is in black and white, so you know it's *art*. In all seriousness, may we all find a partner as supportive as Hodge-podge. 

Turns out Jared's ashes weren't missing at all, Christine had used the box so that she could climb in and out of Hank's crib. Awwww... But surely such a resourceful child couldn't find a stool or something?

Bones - The 200th in the 10th

I am so incredibly excited for this episode. I love old movies, I love flashback/parallel universe episodes - Bones has done several of these before and they always do them WELL (remember the season 4 finale??)  - and it's their 200th episode so of course that's cause for celebration!!

This. All of this.

BTW - John Boyd (Aubrey) has a Twitter, it's right here! And I was watching Argo today, as a study break, and I found him in it!! It was very exciting - I wasn't even looking for him, he just kinda leapt out at me! (and then I remembered later on having seen on his IMDb that he had a small role in it).He had crazy sideburns and a yellow sweatervest. 'Twas adorable.

This is so cute, they're playing themselves as old movie stars, in a new movie called 'Bones'. I'm in love with this episode already. It's got everything!

Old-timey movie logo: check
Old-timey soundtrack: check
Old-timey car driving with what is clearly a green-screened background: check
Scarf around the hair: check
Wearing a trenchcoat: check
Old-timey revolver: check

Just look how happy they are!!

They're sneaking around a GIANT mansion - she's the one with the gun, he's climbing across all the balconies. Cam/Tamara is the maid (her short hair's back!) and Booth is a thief, he broke into the home's safe. Brennan/Emily is the police officer. There was a burned body in the safe.

Max is the police cheif, Angela's a receptionist - and NAILS her 50s-era voice, and then flirts with the adorable Wendell who's a press reporter. Awwww.

Asshole guy from INTERPOL has to replace her on the case, tells her she's 'easy on the eyes' and she responds with "You won't have any eyes if you keep talking like that." You go Brennan.

Did anyone in the 50s actually say 'guy'? Angela does. Bones does the old break-into-someone's-room-wait-for-them-in-a-chair-in-the-dark bit, and tells Booth to admit to the robbery so that they'll believe he didn't kill anyone.

HAHAHAHA Hodgins/TJ is a paleontologist, has tiny glasses, and Edison (his assistant) has slicked-down hair. Brennan is also full of surprises, and Booth needs a martini.

Couldn't find a better picture of Hodgin's glasses. But trust me. They were awesome.

The coroner doesn't care about the bones (silly man) and so they're able to easily steal them so that Hodgins and Edison can examine them.

Wendell is still flirting, he and Angela are teaming up to ask Vasiri (some jewel fencer) to help them prove that someone else had stolen the jewels. Angela is also bringing the sass that we saw from Brennan earlier. "Watch your step, Vaziri, unless you want to wear that drink". (He told Wendell to never try to understand a woman). LOVING THIS!

Wendell + old-timey hat = overload of cute. And check out that bow on Angela's dress!

Booth only gets to drive once he stops calling Brennan 'darling' (so, never).

Hodgins sounds like an old man. I'm loving it.
Requisite smoking vials of multi-coloured liquid, to signify that this is a lab and science happens here: check. 

CORRECTION I FOUND A BETTER PICTURE AND IT'S GLORIOUS.

Oh hey! Angela's dad makes an appearance too. He still has a guitar (albeit one made of trash - he's a hobo) and thinks Booth and Brennan are made for each other. Brennan thinks otherwise.

Hodgins being the bones expert and sounding astounded at all times is just the greatest thing.
Booth needs to stay at Brennan's house and she insists he can't go in her bedroom, she asks why, and he says "You've never let any man in there? Must be cold." She says a man has been slapped for less, then tells him to hide when Angela comes to the door - in the bedroom - and he gets all excited. Angela knows he's there, and gives Brennan some sass as well. AND THEN MENTIONS AUBREY!!! He apparently dated the victim.

*SQUEALS INTERNALLY*

Warren's on the stage, singing, at the club where they go to interview Aubrey, and Caroline's the hostess. Aubrey's adorable, denies knowing anything about the murder, and he's there dating Daisy of all people! Aubrey points out the singer and her backup.. something (dancer?), who are married, and he had an affair with the victim. So Booth starts a fight between them, then skedaddles when Angela's dad shows up out of nowhere and says the cops are there.

Somehow Jessica Warren (Rabbit?) manages to pull off the redhead-wearing-red thing. Also, she's an emoji.

Angela's dad - they're calling him Sarge - is apparently an Army vet, along with Booth, who served in WWII. Brennan suspects him. And the cops know they're working together, so they need to scram - whether Booth has finished his coffee or not.

Hodgins uses the victim's clothes to identify whether or not it was actually the lady who owned the house (she's not - plot twiiiiist!), they get Angela to draw the victim's face, and Aubrey says being framed for murder is a 'dreadful inconvenience', they trade some 'old sport's, and THEN SOMEONE FREAKING STABS AUBREY AND HE JUST GASPS AND FALLS OVER, Booth pulls the knife out of his back, and then someone takes a picture - oh no. Another dreadful inconvenience. But come on, did Booth not actually SEE the stabber?!! 

So much old-timey handsomeness in one picture.

Apparently Booth didn't want to keep thieving, and the people he robbed were those who profited off of the Nazis somehow, which is why he gave the money to his veteran buddies. Awwwe.

Hearing Hodgins tell Brennan 'the parietal - that's a bone in the head' is laughable. AAAAH PELANT!!! PELANT'S IN THE RESTAURANT!!! SOMEONE GET HIM!!!! OK I just realized that the husband of the lounge singer is Squintern Fuentes - I didn't recognize him with the horrible mustache hahaha.

Apparently the victim was killed a long long time ago, and the maid was the one who'd killed her - then stolen her identity, met Aubrey, and tried to abscond with the jewels.

They're shoved in a closet, act all 'we should try to escape' but then 'well maybe we should just make out first'. Hart Hanson pointed out that the light source in that closet is really flattering - and I concur. Cam is 'the one calling the shots here' and takes Brennan with her as a hostage instead.

Cam went to the Owen Granger School of Spoiling People's Fun.

Booth somehow escapes, uses the oldest-trick-in-the-book of using a pencil on the page below which something was written, to reveal the contours. He figures out where she's going.

Max believes Wendell, (which inspires a cute smile from Wendell) Hodgins calls Angela 'beautiful' and with that she's suddenly forgotten about all the flirting with Wendell earlier - BOO! Max calls the British guy a 'bombastic twit'. Best insult ever.

My bad. It's the second-best.

Old-timey plane: check

The pilot is stalling, then tells Cam that dumping a dead body will cost her extra. Well I would hope so!!

Booth arrives at the airport just before they take off, then decides to abandon his car because RUNNING after the plane is faster (clearly he's never watched Scorpion!)

This shot brought to you by the poster for North by Northwest - although this time, he's chasing the plane!

Then he leaps in the door as they attempt to take off with the door still open.
Cam calls him a chump, and falls over a few times, all I can think of is 'she's messing up her nice dress!' and then they all wrestle, including the pilot, who evidently doesn't need to actually FLY the plane while it's taking off. Brennan in her cloth bag almost rolls out the door - then Booth drops the jewels out the door, Cam decides they're more important than her own safety, so she falls out after them.

But OF COURSE Booth knows how to fly a plane! "This is why I like to drive". Hahaha

They make her detective, plus head of the new Forensic Science department - Wendell gets to take a picture, and Max predicts that they're going to fall in love, too. (Does no one want to catch the notorious jewel thief anymore?)

Brennan flips that 'darling' thing on its head. That's my girl. She found the jewels somehow - didn't those fall out over the mountains?? She decided not to tell the cops they were recovered, and instead gives them to Sarge.

And then our leads smooch under the stars. Awwwwe."For justice".

The End.

Bravo Bones, well done!! This episode was incredible. I loved the costumes, the hair, the dialogue, the cameos - EVERYTHING!! I really feel like watching some Hitchcock movies now. See you all in the new year!!!

Although, if we're bringing people back from the dead (I already knew John F Daley was too busy, poo) - BUT WHERE THE HELL WAS VINCENT?!!! OR ZACK?!!!! HE'S NOT EVEN DEAD!!!

Also it was trending at some point, so I tweeted this and then that tweet exploded when one of the writers retweeted it. Thanks guys!

Bones - The Mutilation of the Master Manipulator.

Aubrey is a genius. And Booth has to do traffic school. With a condescending cartoon policeman. Sounds like the driving program I did... I have no idea why they make them like that. Anyone taking that program is at least 16! Not five!

Some children who were trying an insane stunt managed to help Bones find the skull, and Hodgins was impressed by them.

WENDELL'S BAAAACK!!! The victim was a professor who was on sabbatical and therefore not reported missing. And Bones thinks flowers are 'all wrong' and Aubrey is a genius again - high-pH of blood in soil can change the colour of flowers. Aubrey refers to the FBI as the 'super-police' and it's adorable.

Baby Wendell is done with the medication, and flirting with his nurse. So cute. She has a 'survey' she needs to ask him questions for - and the page is blank hahaha man I love his smile...

Feel that? That's your heart melting.

Kitty!! There was a kitty in the cupboard in the dead guy's house. Hodgins likes it. That's so sweet.

My boys!! Side note - Wendell is ROCKING that spacesuit.

And there's a video of a woman screaming on the victim's tablet - apparently his neighbours heard screaming. It was a psychological test about how long people would continue being obedient even if they were causing someone pain.

Hodgins uses some kind of crazy centrifuge to magically turn the colour of the flowers. It would smell amazing in that room right now. And he just casually draws his own blood for the experiment. I'm with Angela and Cam on this one - what the hell, dude?

I think Wendell's hair has gotten darker... Do people actually still go on picnics? And he loves science and cheesy 80s music. I love science and cheesy 80s music! Apparently making out requires the soundtrack of Foreigner's 'Waiting for a Girl Like You'. Must remember that...

One of the suspects is a student that was used in the experiment - he broke into the professor's house and blamed him for 'showing him that he was actually a sadistic monster' because he became a criminal after taking part in the experiment. Reeeally... Way to take responsibility for your own actions.

I actually kinda feel bad for this guy now that Aubrey's actually interviewed him - he feels really guilty about what he thought he'd done during the experiment. And then he was in a mental hospital for almost 2 years. That can't have been pleasant.

But good for Wendell, getting a girlfriend!! It's been too long! But now he's suddenly acting all awkward. And less enthusiastic than her.. because 'everything is happening so fast'. Damn it! Don't be that guy, Wendell! You're better than that!

Brennan even notices that Wendell's distracted (after he was 'smiling excessively the year before') Wendell plays reverse-God and says 'let there NOT be light' as he's adjusting his simulator. It makes me dizzy. The poor kitty wants to eat Hodgin's lizard. (Not a euphemism - he has a lizard in a cage in the lab next to the cat from the house).

One of the other students (who also had an affair with the victim) was expelled from school after he broke up with her. And she made an ugly sculpture which could have been the murder weapon. Ugh. Ugly sculptures.

OK sometimes when I'm not looking at the screen, I can't tell if it's Aubrey talking or Booth. This is so weird. Also the artist said art is 'freeing and cathartic' and Aubrey said 'yeah sometimes killers say murdering people is freeing and cathartic'. He's so clever!

Wendell's girlfriend keeps texting and calling him and now I feel kinda bad for her... Damnit Wendell! What are you doing!!

Booth teaches Aubrey that when Brennan talks all scienc-ey, you don't need to know what she's saying, you just need to nod and then wait for her to explain. Brennan got one of Booth's traffic questions wrong and then wants to argue with the cartoon Officer Stop-and-Go. Because, you know, she's never wrong.

Brennan's faith in her own intelligence is unshakeable.

The assistant/current girlfriend snuck into the victim's house, which is not at all suspicious. And Aubrey is bringing the sarcasm and I love it!!

Wendell's pestering girlfriend shows up at work. OK now I'm getting a little suspicious of her! It's been one day!! He's having issues but she's not reacting appropriately! And now he's starting to cry because he didn't want to get close to her and then have her see him die and this is turning into The Fault in Our Stars and I'm freaking out because (spoiler alert) the guy with cancer is the one who dies in that story!!! I just want to give him a hug...

She gives him a beautiful little speech about 'death just being part of the deal' and her aunt dying and then asks if PDA is ok in the lab (because everyone does it all the time anyway although she wouldn't know that) but Cam tells him off - making her a wee bit of a hypocrite - and he smiles and my heart melts again. Awww. You go, nurse girl!! He's back to smiling excessively!!

SOMEONE TRIED TO POISON THE CAT!! THIS IS NOT OKAY!!! And Aubrey and Brennan have apparently developed a shorthand. Booth is not pleased at being left out. Brennan thinks Aubrey's 'competent' and YES, that is a compliment!! Way to go!!!

He's officially Brennan (and Emily) approved!

The neighbour bird-watcher lady apparently is the one who did it, because the cat ate an endangered species of bird. That might have been motive to attempt and kill the cat (even though YOU DO NOT HARM KITTIES!!) but how the hell does that escalate to killing a person?!! Crazy bird lady is crazy!

Booth thinks Brennan 'drives like a grandma.' She's the 'Slow and the Serious', instead of the Fast and the Furious. I see what you did there, Booth. I see it and I like it.

Bones - The Corpse at the Convention

[Note: As stated last week, Big Bang Theory conflicts with Bones, so I'm going to be watching/blogging about it later.]

Booth doesn't know what Schrodinger's cat is, and for once someone is fawning over Angela and calling her a genius. Go Angela!! That non-scientist mystery writer who Brennan hates is also at this conference (that's a blast from the past!), and then a very rude fire alarm interrupts Brennan's speech. There's a body on fire in a stairwell and she freaks out about the fact that the evidence is burning - rather than being concerned for her own safety. Typical Brennan.

Also, this week - WENDELL'S BAAAAAAAACK!!! Let's take a brief moment for some Wendell appreciation:

I think he approves.

I had to use this one again, it's too priceless. And I realized he looks very concerned. Which is adorable.

AND HE HAS NO CANCER!!!! Because Brennan managed to get him into a clinical drug trial. Awwww... I'm not crying. You're crying.

It's kind of hilarious how many people are trying to push their crime-scene investigation products on the team. Within the space of two minutes, Aubrey mentioned Beyonce and Booth mentioned the Kardashians - we get it, Bones writers, you're young and hip and whatnot. Shockingly, the author-lady is using the dead person to promote herself. (That was sarcasm).

Turns out that the dead girl was actually the entomologist that Hodgins had argued with earlier in the day. And as he so furiously pointed out, that's the third time he's been a murder suspect.. Given his temper, I coulda sworn it was more.

I love how Aubrey is turning into a mini-Booth, they even have a similar kind of voice/accent.

Apparently it's possible to just remove giant sections of concrete stairways when examining the body attached to them. And Cam's signature messy-bun is back! I wish my hair always looked that perfect when I pull it back 'casually'.

Although let's be honest, Cam look flawless approximately 100% of the time.
Even when examining icky gross crime scenes.

Without fail, the sight of Booth eating pie at the diner makes me want pie. Ooh! Band-aid found at the scene has DNA on it that belongs to none other than... Hodgins. Damnit Hodgepodge, stop leaving your DNA on things!! And now Aubrey and Booth have to interview him (not that that's a conflict of interest or anything). He and Aubrey like each other (aww) so Aubrey asks him to please not be the killer. Right, because that's how that works.

Turns out the guy running the convention was having an affair with the dead lady - and before that, he was having an affair with the author lady. Crap, I've lost track of who they interviewed second. They interviewed the dishwasher guy, then Hodgins, then this guy. But I can't remember if there was someone before or after the dishwasher. And now Hodgins, despite being a suspect, is still allowed to work on the case. That's so silly. I guess it's because they don't have any other lab people to do all the science for him.

Damnit, Wendell hasn't returned from his appointment for medication... THIS IS NOT OK! Bones writers, if you kill him too, I SHALL NEVER FORGIVE YOU!!

This is not a good look for him! No more of this!
(Even though it's obviously a bald cap, cos ain't nobody touching MGT's hair!!)

Hodgins and Cam figure out that there was a chemical time-release that set the fire, and therefore caused all the suspects (including him) to lose their alibis. But at least they got to do a little experiment. One with fire this time!

Oh, and apparently all the ten minutes of worrying over Wendell is dismissed with "He called Booth, he's fine." That was semi-pointless. Except now he's at the bar and all sad and pensive because one of the other people in the trial suddenly got worse and died. So now he's worried that his cancer's suddenly going to come back. Which Booth takes as a reason to tell a war story - haven't heard one of those in a while. And he calls Wendell his 'brother' and I teared up a little. I want to hug him. He needs a hug. And so do I.

Turns out the killer was one of those forensic-tool-salespeople. Booth cannot say 'thermocouple' and Bones has to be reminded not to compliment the murderer. Turns out the dead lady was also sleeping with him - and stealing his product design. Just like she did to Hodgins (the plagiarism part, not the sleeping-with part). She wasn't a very nice person.

OK I like the Schrodinger joke - and Booth's moon one - but it didn't really warrant the hysterical round of laughter it got from her audience. It was more of an 'lol' not a 'LMAO'. And come on, all those scientists, and no one thinks the moon one is funny?! Lame.

Schrodinger's cat: inspiring paradoxes since 1935.

OK that's all for this week - but stay tuned, I'll be posting the Big Bang Theory blog sometime soon. Also, Elementary is returning tonight (yay!) and I'm not blogging about it, but I will probably be live-tweeting, so feel free to come find me here: https://twitter.com/emmycsi :)

I'll leave you with just one more adorable Wendell (since we probably won't see him for a while now). I've got a whole arsenal of these.

Look how dapper he is. I bet he'd be fun at parties.