SNL - Chris Hemsworth

I was at home this weekend and super confused (i.e. kept forgetting what day of the week it was). So I missed SNL. Oops. But never fear! I'm back!

I really miss Amy Poehler's Hilary Clinton impression. Kate's not bad, but her voice sounds too much like.. her regular voice. And what is this stiff-grabby hand gesture she's making?? I feel like I've seen that before...

I knew it!!

That's the first single-person cold open I've seen in a long time!

I think I know why that third Hemsworth brother isn't famous - he's shorter than the other two.

Apparently Chris found it really hard to become famous - they told him he was too tall, too handsome, too blonde, and his muscles were too big. And if a jacked Australian with a perfect face can make it, anyone can. How inspiring!

That poor man.

Taran and Chris are 'twins' in a fake kids show, and they try to switch places but everyone figures out that they're not the same person, because they look different and Taran is less handsome and they list ALL the differences between them.Including that Chris has blonde arm-hair and Taran's is dark and goes down to his hands... And their butts are differently shaped. Creepy teacher noticing these things about her students is creepy.

THEY'RE TOTALLY THE SAME!!!

They're doing a sketch about the show Empire in which they added Chris as the only white character. And Sasheer keeps hitting people with a broom.

Che cameo!

Now there's a sci-fi sketch on a spaceship in which their captain is a chicken. And Cecily doesn't agree with the chicken's leadership. And Chris is in love with the captain (whose name is Emily!) and he clearly has to improvise what he's saying because she keeps turning away from him. I think it's probably scared by all the audience - and he's lucky it didn't peck at him. And the chicken sacrificed herself to save the ship.. And turned into a roast chicken dinner. Who the hell came up with this sketch?!! It's so random...

A+ chicken acting. If that's even a thing.

Finally, a sketch about how ridiculous Iggy Azalea is - played by Kate McKinnon on her own 'show'. And she keeps having random people on who she's been feuding with, and Chris is her cousin who's teaching her all about hip hop. Jay is TI (one of his less accurate impressions, but still not bad) and keeps placing his headphones randomly on his head.

"If you don't know what to rap, just make a gun sound."
Kate's mannerisms are spot-on.

I have no idea what's happening here.

WEEKEND UPDAAATE!!! Colin's grandma may or may not be racist. Delta charges a 45$ 'cash-survival' fee. Leslie's baaack! As the 'relationship expert'. And flirting with Colin. He made her laugh, but he's just smiling. They're so cute. I ship it. And she's mad because she can't scare anyone anymore. IT'S REALLY COLD OUT!!
And now they're doing that thing where they go back and forth on the same story - an asshole doctor candidate for president said that 'homosexuality is a choice'.
And we finally get a proper Colin smile - when he 'steals' one of Michael's jokes and says that he has a small penis.

This makes me so happy!!! He tries to keep it in but he can't!!!

IT'S THE GIRL YOU WISH YOU HADN'T STARTED A CONVERSATION WITH AT A PARTY!!! She's talking about ISIS and Boko Haram. I think. I love this girl. She's so funny. And I didn't know that you could bring democracy to Syria via Instagram. I vote this is the best Update of this season so far.

Now Bobby's interviewing The Avengers, and Thor is such a party guy - taking selfies, doing the running man, and screaming random noises. And Taran is Iron Man. Pete is a scrawny, homeless-looking Bruce Banner, who may or may not have eaten a guy. Beck makes his first appearance of the night, as Captain America. HE'S NO CHRIS EVANS!!

Derpy Captain America is derpy.

Kate and Chris are in a soap opera/dramatic movie where she's dying, and Taran is their director. Apparently he used to work for The Jeffersons, which he refers to as 'The Jeffers-sons'. So he keeps giving them acting tips which would belong on a ridiculous sitcom. (To their credit, Chris and Kate totally own the sitcom tropes haha)

Big Brother-style fake reality show where Beck and Chris are going to order food, then Kyle wants to get groceries, and Beck freaks out (in one of those to-the-camera asides) and asks him to order food as well. But then Chris comes back and goes 'wait, Brian (Kyle) was not in the living room when I went in the shower.  But now he is? What is going on here?' And suddenly it's like a dating show because he has each of them step forward and confronts them about them changing their mind. Apparently the show is called 'So You Think You Can Live With Brian?' I love this concept. Even if it's the fourth pre-taped sketch we've seen tonight.

They're not pornstars anymore - but they ARE advertising 'Dolgee and Gababba'. And Ceciley's character is supposed to be dead, so shhh...

Chris Hemsworth on a scooter, everybody.

I have no idea when their next episode is, or who's hosting, but I will probably forget about that one too... Oops. Until then, friends!