Big Bang Theory - The Helium Insufficiency

Apparently telling someone their face is 'pleasingly symmetrical' will soften the blow of bad news. Note to self.

There's a worldwide helium shortage - how the hell does that happen?! And Sheldon and Leonard need some or else a Swedish team will perform the same experiment before them. Oh dear. Also, Barry Kripke won't give them any of his because he's an ass, but we already knew that.

Stuart is using some kind of non-name-branded Tinder. Now Amy's using it. This is funny, everyone else is making her choices for her.

Oh my god, the sketchy guy they're buying helium off of is played by Michael Rapaport!! The blonde cop guy who Phoebe dated on Friends! The guy with the most Brooklyn-iest accent I've ever heard!

Weirdly enough, I remember the actor's name more often than the character's. (It was Gary)

And Sheldon gives him a vocabulary lesson - "All these years I've been using 'stalemate' when all along I meant 'impasse'. I feel foolish."

Also, because everything reminds me of The Princess Bride, this scene reminds me of The Princess Bride, because that's the movie that taught me the word 'impasse'.

"We are at an impasse"

Amy and her friends are sitting around making fun of all the guys who come up on her app - and for some reason they're all really unattractive. Are there no hot douchebags on this app?! Also Stuart - whose name appeared onscreen and reassured me that I am, in fact, spelling it right.

For some reason Sheldon and Leonard dressed the helium tank up as a person in order to sneak it into the lab... Because that's super convincing. Also they think it was stolen from the government, so Sheldon starts freaking out.

Turns out Amy already went on a date!! And they're right, Tinder would make a great drinking game!! Penny squealing over Amy's date sounded like my roommate when they found out I met a cute guy at a bar and got his number. (It was Halloween. He was dressed as a Power Ranger. Good times were had by all.)

Sheldon and Leonard decide to give the helium back to the guy, and he charges more money for it, but then Kripke wants to get partial credit on their paper if he gives them his helium, so they go back and get it again. And now they're buddies with him, because he's one of those adorably smart bad guys. That was a nice ending.

The Big Bang Theory - The Perspiration Implementation

I still can't believe they're on Season 9 of this show already. It seems like just last year Amy was being introduced (and that was Season 4).

I also can't believe how freaking far behind I am. Ugh. Might have to do one of those 'catching up' posts because I don't have the energy.

Howard is lazy, and attached his FitBit to a robot arm so that it would fool Bernadette into thinking he's exercising. Leonard has a Scrabble Dance.

I, too, am very fond of the word 'touche'.

As are these lovelies.

Stuart wants there to be more girls in the comic book store. Not likely to happen while your creepy regular customers are still there, buddy.

The guys decide to take up fencing, and Barry Kripke(!!) is their instructor. But it's serious business, apparently, not glamourous like in a movie. RAJ LOVES THE PRINCESS BRIDE!!!!!! I LOVE THE PRINCESS BRIDE!!!!!!

Best. Movie. Ever.

Congratulations, Raj, you are now my favourite.

Apparently Stuart himself is the problem with his store. Makes sense. And now Howard and Raj are both making Princess Bride references and I AM SO GIDDY! Sheldon wants to slap people across the face with his glove when they insult his honour - which, honestly, I think is a policy that should be resurrected.

Kripke is interested in Amy, and Sheldon gets mad and challenges him to a duel - but three years from then.

Poor Stuart, we all know he's a nice dude but he lacks the confidence to master social graces that wouldn't scare them away. And now Amy's trying to make him feel better but kinda accidentally made him think she was hitting on him. Sheldon randomly decides to pick up a woman at a bar, because literally he went 'oh there's a girl'.

Barry asked Amy out via text - AND sent her a dick pic. BAD Barry. BAD! But she said no. Good Amy. Making smart choices. Leonard and Bernadette are bad friends, abandoning Amy and Sheldon together in the hallway so that they have to talk.

That's just awkward...

Big Bang Theory - The Junior Professor Solution

One night, two new episodes of BBT.

If there was a female version of this, that'd be me right now.

According to the plot summary of this episode from the CBS website, Sheldon has to teach a class and Howard takes it. I'm expecting a lot of peanut-gallery comments, since he's always been the quickest with comebacks out of the group. This ought to be good.

Also I should mention that Sheldon is reeeeally reluctant about the teaching job.

Penny is avoiding Bernadette because she's finding her annoying and it's making Amy (and me) uncomfortable because this kind of thing is terribly awkward and kinda mean...

Can we just ban couple-names? Raj + his girlfriend = Kuthrapemily or Emmipali. Bad. Just cringeworthy. And as an Emily, I know my name wouldn't ever pair well with that of any hypothetical future boyfriend I might have. So just let's ban them. For the good of mankind.

Amy is playing a bit of a double-agent because Bernadette is complaining to her about Penny now - I HAVE BEEN THERE AND IT IS TERRIBLE. DON'T FALL INTO THAT TRAP, AMY!

Callback to the episode where Sheldon taught Penny about physics! Fig Newtons are named after a town in Massachusetts, not the scientist. (I knew that!) And Walowitz might get his doctorate, which is good for him, but I will really miss all those 'Howard's the only non-doctor here' jokes.

I always have felt bad for Amy... Her boyfriend couldn't care less about the things going on with her, and now she's 'popular' because she was always so lonely that she's willing to pit her two best friends against each other just so they'll both like her? It's really just kinda sad...

That was brilliant - Howard decided to be a crappy non-paying-attention student because Sheldon was being a crappy teacher and OH GOD HE'S RAPPING. HOWARD IS RAPPING.

But poor Amy, Bernadette and Penny are getting along now so she feels left out.

'Can't talk! Spitball! Probably gonna die!' Totally using that line now whenever someone calls me and I don't want to talk to them.

Howard has got a whole new backbone to him this season, I kinda love it. [Edit: I just managed to put a name on what's happening to him. He's becoming more quippy, and less creepy. Nailed it.]

(Commercial Break) there's a new Nicholas Sparks movie coming out and even though it sounds almost exactly like The Notebook I kinda want to see it because it has JAMES MARSDEN IN IT!! Although he was in the Notebook, and lost the girl... So he doesn't have a great track record. But he's very handsome. So he's got that going for him, which is nice. But I already have an idea of what the poster's gonna look like:

The BBT boys just gave me an idea... to study using a quiz system with chocolate as reward! Why have I never thought of this!

Big Bang Theory - The Locomotion Interruption

The first problem with living in a new house is not knowing which channel is which on the new cable... So I missed the first few minutes of this episode. Tuned in just in time to see pants-less Sheldon whining to people at a train station. Ah, how I've missed him.

To recap last year's season finale:
Sheldon ran away because he didn't know how to handle Leonard and Penny living together, the comic book store is going under so Stuart is now working as a nurse for Howard's mom, and THIS HAPPENED:

Now their babies won't be imaginary at all!!!

I have to say, I hate Penny's hair short. Kaley Cuoco can pull off anything, and she looks gorgeous, but Penny is too childlike and ditzy and the long, curly hair suits her. Maybe this is supposed to go along with her new 'career-woman' persona, but I don't think it works with the character.

Side note: Bernadette's line 'the world is full of things that could cause a rectum to bleed' would make a terrible motivational poster.

In honour of my former Monday-at-8:00 sitcom...

It's a little creepy (to everyone except him) that Stuart is still living with Mrs. Walowitz and kind of becoming her boy toy/replacement for Howard... But at least if they become a couple, we won't have to see them kiss or anything...

On his entire trip, Sheldon never went outside or had a single piece of fruit. Sounds like my idea of a fun weekend...

Fun fact - Howard said Stuart is in his thirties, but Raj thought he was 'like 45' - Kevin Sussman, the actor who plays Stuart, is actually 44.

I'm really glad Amy doesn't just play along with Sheldon's ridiculousness anymore - I've always felt so bad for her! AND HE WANTS TO WHAT - oh nevermind, he was just making sure she couldn't hear him, by pretending he wanted to have coitus with her hahaha I should have seen that coming.

Bernadette is so like me - tiny and nice but can still put the fear of God in someone if they need to get their shit together.

Also, just so you know, NOBODY IS ANYBODY'S FATHER even though Howard and Stuart are both talking down to one another and bossing each other around.

(Commercial break) Holy crap, they're still making Survivor?? Talk about beating a dead horse... Does anyone even watch that anymore???

And Sheldon is with me on the hair thing. Also he's for some reason obsessed with brands of foods.