Bones - The Senator in the Street Sweeper

Nooo don't run over the little raccoon! Oh, it ran away. OK. We're good. Except there's a dead body in the street sweeper - as promised by the title. Ewwww.

So, wait, the murderer just left a dead body on the side of the road? Where anyone could have stumbled upon it? That's dumb.

Duh. Everyone knows this. 

Booth wants to put a TV in their bedroom, and Brennan disagrees because she thinks it'll get in the way of their sexytime.

Jessica (the redheaded intern) has apparently been watching Battlestar Galactica with Aubrey, which first made me say 'awww' but then made me roll my eyes because they're just instilling all of Sweets' traits in him - he was a sci-fi nerd, too. But she swears that's all that's happening, no Netflix and chilling for them, I see.

Brennan is, for some reason, comfortable talking about their sex life in front of Caroline. Hahaha love Caroline so much.

As implied in the title, the dead guy was a senator. Aubrey wants to be a politician and I love it. He's so ambitious!! He also mentioned Mr. Smith Goes To Washington, a classic movie that has been at the top of my 'movies to watch' list forever.

How can you not love Jimmy Stewart?! 

Caroline's boss wants Aubrey to run a background check on Jessica, which is kind of awkward being that she's kind of almost his girlfriend (I think?) and hopefully he doesn't fund anything too sketchy.

Brennan does an imitation of Humphrey Bogart in Casablanca, and I'm starting to wonder if the writer of this episode is a fan of classic movies. 

Oh dear. Jessica was a member of Greenpeace and was present when a bomb exploded near a protest  - even though they hadn't planted it - and also was on the road with the band Phish, where there were a lot of drugs, and she says "I know, I had a great time" and he made this face

This is one of the great facial expressions in the history of facial expressions

So Aubrey seems all uncomfortable about the fact that she's being all honest and that it's technically his job to tattle on her, but they he's like 'OK let's just pretend this never happened' and oh Aubrey I'm so disappointed in you... 

Then he tells Caroline (half of) what he found out, realizes that she assigned him this task to show him what he's getting himself into and what followed is the funniest conversation I've seen in a while. I couldn't find it in GIF format, so bear with me.  

Caroline: You have a bright future ahead of you, but first you need to find yourself the right kind of woman

Aubrey: You asking me out? 

Caroline: Chere, you couldn't handle me.

Aubrey: *awkward snort/laugh*

Can we get a spinoff of these two, please??

The senator ran on a platform of supporting coal miners, and then was about to sign a bill about reducing coal emissions. Which naturally upset a lot of coal miners, including a big giant dude that Caroline tried to prosecute for something before, but the witness disappeared.

Bennan is all proud of herself because she figured out that Jessica and Aubrey were seeing each other but now having problems. The senator made a sketchy 2000$ withdrawal every month and also used to go see a young lady at a restaurant on a regular basis, including the night he died. They think he was having an affair, but Brennan figures out the girl is his daughter!!

The senator's wife is somehow now going to take over his seat, because apparently that's a thing, and she's been accused of poisoning him, since she was a diabetic and had access to the kind of needle that had been used to poison him. And the axe used to hack up his body. as was the senate majority leader.

Apparently if you cut yourself on coal, your skin will turn blue. The senator was going to vote against the party, and his assistant was having an affair with his wife so he was the killer.

Brennan got Booth a TV! It's a nice big one, now they're bickering over the remote cos they're adorable.

Speaking of adorable, let's see that Aubrey face one more time

Bones - The Brother in the Basement

The beginning is basically a flashback to what happened before the case the team investigated in the last episode - they're shown torching the van with Jared's dead body in it. Except for the fact that the guy in the van is CLEARLY not Brendan Fehr.
But whatever.

Jon is not pleased with the continuity errors. 

I completely forgot that Cam and Booth had romantic history! So obviously she knew Jared. So she's sad. Aww poor Cam. 

Brennan wants her job back!! We all knew that was coming but still, it's pretty nice. She and Aubrey go with Miller to Miller's missing partner's house. Aubrey goes into the fridge (of course) Brennan chastises him for looking for a snack (of course) and then this happens:

We know you too well, Aubrey.

And then they find A FINGER!! EWWWW

I thought I was done being grossed out by this show, but Cam removing the bone from the inside of a finger, and then inserting her own (gloved) finger inside the skin made me gag hardcore. The finger belonged to the missing agent's fiancee.

The bad guys are all mocking Booth for hemorrhaging - nice partners in literal crime you have there, Booth. He ends up taking matters into his own hands and cauterizing the wound with silver nitrate - Don't do that at home, kids! - and he screamed and I cringed.

Aubrey and Miller find two dead bodies being ravaged by vultures in an abandoned barn, doused in battery acid. One is identified as the fiancee of the missing agent but we don't know about the other.

HOT NERD ALERT!!!
Sorry. This handsome guy showed up looking for Angela, Brennan waved him off as a stripper or something, and then he held up a brace-wrapped wrist and informed her he was a digital forensic scientist with the FBI, but "I usually wear my glasses, if it helps. Also I have carpal tunnel and two cats at home named Stephen and Hawking." CATS!! The man has CATS!!! I'm in love already.

I, too, has a kitty. 

The other body is finally confirmed to be Bannerman, Miller's missing partner. And the new guy, Dr. Metzger, starts sniffling like he's going to cry and awwww... Angela feels bad for him, Hodgins is suspicious that the two of them are talking (of course).

Oh snap, Booth's sketchy criminal pal just got a text saying Booth can't be trusted and he has to kill him. Dun dunnn...

Christine calls Brennan because she's all worried about Booth. Aww. Sad. There was a sketchy blue van following Bannerman around in a few weeks before he disappeared. The driver was a member of the Aryan Brotherhood because this only thing this episode was missing was white supremacists! Said asshole for some reason has a problem with Caroline. But apparently he was a CI for Bannerman. Caroline and I are equally disgusted.

They figure out that Miller and Bannerman were a couple, and he had left her for his fiancee. Oooh. Messy.

Brennan offered Arastoo an unsolicited compliment (awww) and they figured out that the person who beat Bannerman to death was wearing brass knuckles! They gave us an interesting fact - contrary to their name, brass knuckles usually aren't made of brass, rather steel. But this person must have an injured hand. Ohhh dear. Not the hot nerd!

The other two bad guys turn on Booth and the head honcho, something about the 'deal' being cancelled. Apparently the main guy had refused to kill Booth, but the others saw the text messages and decided the money was what they wanted so they try to kill him instead. Bastards.

Caroline should know that Brennan never does what she's told - and that includes not going into interview rooms if her husband's life is in danger.

Here's something I don't get - one of the bad guys was shooting an automatic weapon at Booth, and Booth locks himself in some kind of boiler room and opens the window to try and get out. The window shows that it's broad daylight and they're in the basement of a building that looks to be downtown somewhere, with tons of people walking around. So nobody on the street heard all the shooting?!!

Booth is a smarty pants, using the old 'hide from the bad guy and make it look like you've escaped, then sneak up on him from behind' trick. And then he emerges from the basement just as Brennan shows up outside. Timing!

So after Angela and Hodgins leave in the perfect image of married bliss, Cam and Arastoo have a little heart-to-heart, and I'm pretty sure they're breaking up. Also pretty sure he's leaving because he doesn't want to be an intern for the rest of his life. That makes me very very sad, even though I never really liked him that much... But I love Cam and I love the fact that he made her happy. How many more new interns are we gonna need?! They're dropping like flies (not literally... Except Vincent. And now I'm sad)

Miller is leaving, but she brought Aubrey a peace offering. That's sweet. His favourite whiskey is the cheapest kind, and it causes Caroline to choke, which is adorable. I love that their dynamic is starting to mirror that of her and Booth.

Bones - The Teacher in the Books

Hey there TV fans, I've had exams and other crap over the past few weeks so I've fallen WAAAAAY behind on my blogs... But not to worry! Exams are now done, so I'll be catching up on Bones and BBT in the next few days! Just bear with me! Yay!

Aluminum is a waste when scrapping. Good to know. In case I plan on scrapping in the near future.
Maybe this is because I'm a bookworm, but abandoned libraries and bookstores always make me sad... Such a waste.

I mean... Look at all the lonely books... *Sobs into a pillow* 

Bones' publisher wants her to get Twitter and I find this concept hilarious. I mean at least let her start out with Facebook first... Hodgins and Cam are with me on the love of books. Aubrey mocks Hodgins' love of book-sniffing and I'm deeply disappointed. But he redeems himself by being afraid of a poisonous spider. How cute.

Angela's new magic software can map out someone's face based on their moles and freckles and such?? I call MASSIVE bullshit because 1) people use makeup to cover moles and such sometimes in photos, and also 2) with decomposition the SKIN MOVES so the measurements are different... Jeez.

The victim was a teacher (who knew?) and she was working with a group who taught in dangerous neighbourhoods. This is a cause close to Caroline's heart, she warns Booth about not letting it make the school look bad, because she is on their board of directors and doesn't want to see them closed because of some violence.

Caroline has a soft spot for something other than Booth! Who knew??

Aubrey has just caught up on Dr. Brennan's books, and mocks Booth's counterpart for not sleeping with Brennan's counterpart until the third book, because 'James Bond wouldn't have waited that long'. Well that is because James Bond was a scoundrel...

Touche. Moving on... 

He also says people are 'already talking about it on Twitter' but apparently the writers don't understand that people would've been talking about the books once they came out - they wouldn't wait for the author to get on Twitter herself. Is everyone as far behind as Aubrey?

For those of you who were wondering how many high school students it takes to lift a Smartcar - Apparently the answer is about 20. THIS SCHOOL IS NICER THAN MY UNIVERSITY, I CALL BULLSHIT ON IT BEING IN A ROUGH NEIGHBOURHOOD. Also the guy who worked with the victim - the actor has gone from being a high school student on Pretty Little Liars to being a high school teacher in less than a year. How old is this dude?

Caroline is laying down the law on these tough students who are talking shit while being interviewed. Have I mentioned I love Caroline?

Caroline does not have time for these shenanigans.

She thinks Aubrey is 'Sweet. Stupid, but sweet.' He does not disagree.

Bones isn't doing well on Twitter. She only has 10 followers - and hey, that's in like a day, it took me MONTHS to amass that many. Then again, she's a bestselling author and I was a random high school student at the time...

GAH YOU WRITERS ACTUALLY HAVE TWITTER, YOU KNOW HOW IT WORKS - JESSICA COULDN'T HAVE RETWEETED BRENNAN FROM HER OWN ACCOUNT ON BRENNAN'S PHONE!!! And now Brennan knows how to selfie. She's more popular than me. Damnit. (Psst shameless plug, go follow me www.twitter.com/emmycsi )

Aubrey can selfie. He should've shown Brennan.

Also I don't think it's legal/ethical for high school teachers to communicate with students on social media. #Sketchy (Although I now have one of my former HS teachers on Facebook, and I follow my physics prof on Twitter). Aubrey, don't call Caroline a dinosaur. That will not end well for you.

HOW CAN YOU RESIST THAT PRECIOUS FACE?!!! 

She's stone cold, that's how. Starting to think I need a collection of Caroline reaction GIFs... 

Cam dropping truth bombs - "Being a teacher takes a lot of time, their day doesn't end when school lets out!" As the daughter of a teacher, I know this. Turns out the victim's boyfriend was cheating. Aubrey's hitting him where it hurts - saying he knows he's shorter than he claims to be online. Also is the 'Get Lost Hotline' actually a thing? If not, it should be. 'Tis brilliant.

Angela tells Jessica to stop enabling Brennan's Twitter habit. And I'm just surprised, with the length of some scientific papers' titles, that they'd fit in 140 characters. The older brother from the earlier interview owned the knife that hurt the victim's hand - he claims she cut herself to blackmail him to keep his little brother in school. I'm surprised that a cut on the hand would leave a mark on the phalanges, but then again - this is Bones.

OK so now they get the answers based on an eraser? Like ONE specific eraser? And based on the Smartcar? Ouch. Rough day for that little car. Because the other teacher was the one who did it - and the one who drove the Smartcar. He was also the second person they interviewed! Aha! He faked some tests to get himself a better job, she caught him and they fought.

This totally looks like a car a murderer would drive.
I dare NCIS:LA to change up their criminals' cars just once. 

And Caroline is now taking those brothers under her wing - this is adorable! They're tough, but she's tougher!

Pictured: total badassery. 

I hope they bring these brothers back later on! She insists on feeding them at the diner, even when they say they're full, she waves over the waitress, and I called it - she orders them some pie. PIE! PIE IS THE BEST!

Apparently Brennan is emoticon-type material (smiley face, wink wink) and she is sitting at the counter with her tablet so engrossed that she didn't even notice Booth was cooking RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER. Oh my god, this reminds me of my mom ever since she got her new phone... LET THIS BE A WARNING. DO NOT GIVE PARENTS MOBILE DEVICES. YOU WILL REGRET IT.