The Big Bang Theory - The Perspiration Implementation

I still can't believe they're on Season 9 of this show already. It seems like just last year Amy was being introduced (and that was Season 4).

I also can't believe how freaking far behind I am. Ugh. Might have to do one of those 'catching up' posts because I don't have the energy.

Howard is lazy, and attached his FitBit to a robot arm so that it would fool Bernadette into thinking he's exercising. Leonard has a Scrabble Dance.

I, too, am very fond of the word 'touche'.

As are these lovelies.

Stuart wants there to be more girls in the comic book store. Not likely to happen while your creepy regular customers are still there, buddy.

The guys decide to take up fencing, and Barry Kripke(!!) is their instructor. But it's serious business, apparently, not glamourous like in a movie. RAJ LOVES THE PRINCESS BRIDE!!!!!! I LOVE THE PRINCESS BRIDE!!!!!!

Best. Movie. Ever.

Congratulations, Raj, you are now my favourite.

Apparently Stuart himself is the problem with his store. Makes sense. And now Howard and Raj are both making Princess Bride references and I AM SO GIDDY! Sheldon wants to slap people across the face with his glove when they insult his honour - which, honestly, I think is a policy that should be resurrected.

Kripke is interested in Amy, and Sheldon gets mad and challenges him to a duel - but three years from then.

Poor Stuart, we all know he's a nice dude but he lacks the confidence to master social graces that wouldn't scare them away. And now Amy's trying to make him feel better but kinda accidentally made him think she was hitting on him. Sheldon randomly decides to pick up a woman at a bar, because literally he went 'oh there's a girl'.

Barry asked Amy out via text - AND sent her a dick pic. BAD Barry. BAD! But she said no. Good Amy. Making smart choices. Leonard and Bernadette are bad friends, abandoning Amy and Sheldon together in the hallway so that they have to talk.

That's just awkward...

Bones - The Promise in the Palace

OH MY GOD IT'S THE TODD!!!!! From Scrubs!! In the opening scene! He's one of the guys who was biking through the forest and found the body.

That dude. Whose underwear I have seen entirely too many times.

Christine lost her first tooth, but Brennan doesn't want them to pretend to be the Tooth Fairy - BTW when I was a kid, my Tooth Fairy was hella cheap. She only gave me a dime per tooth, and a quarter for molars. These kids are getting whole DOLLARS?!!

Angela's handsome photographer mentor friend is handsome. And Cam thinks he might be interested in *something more* than just a mentor-mentee relationship. Oh great, another reason for Hodgins to be jealous.

The victim was not a magician, but rather an escape artist, and yet she still worked at a place called the Magic Palace, which I swear is the same name all TV shows use when they need a name for a secret magician's clubhouse.

I'm pretty sure, when they were scrolling through faces very rapidly on the Angelatron, that one of those was just Olivia Wilde...

She could totally be the dead girl, right?? 

Clark is back. He likes magic - Brennan does not. Aubrey thinks that Brennan might have a point about the Tooth Fairy thing, simply because she's smart and an advanced thinker.

OK I know the whole 'zoom and enhance' thing on crime shows is ridiculous, but right there it was also unnecessary - Angela and Aubrey were looking at security footage from an ATM, and they saw the victim go into a building directly across the street. So Angela 'zoomed and enhanced' the building's address number - BUT YOU KNOW WHERE THE ATM IS, SO YOU COULD HAVE JUST USED A MAP!!! Oy vey.

Clark is trying to do magic tricks to impress Brennan, but she doesn't give a damn.

The son of the guy who owned the Magic Palace got jealous because his dad taught Clarissa, the victim, his old tricks, but he thought they were supposed to be passed down to him. So he stalked her for a few days, and saw her kissing some random dude.

OMG hahaha Cam had her signals crossed - Angela's hunky photography mentor wasn't crushing on Angela, he was crushing on her, Cam!! And he's British! But she says no-go, cos she just got out of a long relationship with Arastoo... Awks. But she smiled! Good for her!

You go, Cam! Be happy!! Move on!!

Wait, are you telling me Booth sits reading in a chair beside, and slightly lower than, the bed, rather than, oh, I don't know, ON the bed?? Beds are the most comfortable place to sit reading, hands down. But I guess you'd better not rumple those perfect sheets, eh?

Clarissa's roommate's boyfriend is a caterer, and he was using some kind of fancy truffle oil (which Booth only knew about because Mr. Foodie Aubrey pointed it out) which Clarissa had a reaction to, because truffles are a fungus, and Clarissa was allergic to fungi.

Sucks to be her, because mushrooms are a fungi and they are delicious

The roommate doesn't have an alibi for the night of the murder, but they quickly brush over that, because she was moving to Las Vegas to work in a casino, so the owner of the Magic Palace got ad because he'd invested so much in her and she was taking off... So he killed her. But he was so sad when they arrested him, kept screaming 'Why did she break her promise?'. I almost feel bad for him.

Bones relented on her Tooth Fairy stance, and gave Christine a dollar. Awww... And Booth did a fancy trick thing that I don't understand and Bones doesn't understand, but he somehow replicated a paper that had 'three US attorney's signatures on it'

And Cam called the British guy!! Yaaay!!! 

Bones - The Senator in the Street Sweeper

Nooo don't run over the little raccoon! Oh, it ran away. OK. We're good. Except there's a dead body in the street sweeper - as promised by the title. Ewwww.

So, wait, the murderer just left a dead body on the side of the road? Where anyone could have stumbled upon it? That's dumb.

Duh. Everyone knows this. 

Booth wants to put a TV in their bedroom, and Brennan disagrees because she thinks it'll get in the way of their sexytime.

Jessica (the redheaded intern) has apparently been watching Battlestar Galactica with Aubrey, which first made me say 'awww' but then made me roll my eyes because they're just instilling all of Sweets' traits in him - he was a sci-fi nerd, too. But she swears that's all that's happening, no Netflix and chilling for them, I see.

Brennan is, for some reason, comfortable talking about their sex life in front of Caroline. Hahaha love Caroline so much.

As implied in the title, the dead guy was a senator. Aubrey wants to be a politician and I love it. He's so ambitious!! He also mentioned Mr. Smith Goes To Washington, a classic movie that has been at the top of my 'movies to watch' list forever.

How can you not love Jimmy Stewart?! 

Caroline's boss wants Aubrey to run a background check on Jessica, which is kind of awkward being that she's kind of almost his girlfriend (I think?) and hopefully he doesn't fund anything too sketchy.

Brennan does an imitation of Humphrey Bogart in Casablanca, and I'm starting to wonder if the writer of this episode is a fan of classic movies. 

Oh dear. Jessica was a member of Greenpeace and was present when a bomb exploded near a protest  - even though they hadn't planted it - and also was on the road with the band Phish, where there were a lot of drugs, and she says "I know, I had a great time" and he made this face

This is one of the great facial expressions in the history of facial expressions

So Aubrey seems all uncomfortable about the fact that she's being all honest and that it's technically his job to tattle on her, but they he's like 'OK let's just pretend this never happened' and oh Aubrey I'm so disappointed in you... 

Then he tells Caroline (half of) what he found out, realizes that she assigned him this task to show him what he's getting himself into and what followed is the funniest conversation I've seen in a while. I couldn't find it in GIF format, so bear with me.  

Caroline: You have a bright future ahead of you, but first you need to find yourself the right kind of woman

Aubrey: You asking me out? 

Caroline: Chere, you couldn't handle me.

Aubrey: *awkward snort/laugh*

Can we get a spinoff of these two, please??

The senator ran on a platform of supporting coal miners, and then was about to sign a bill about reducing coal emissions. Which naturally upset a lot of coal miners, including a big giant dude that Caroline tried to prosecute for something before, but the witness disappeared.

Bennan is all proud of herself because she figured out that Jessica and Aubrey were seeing each other but now having problems. The senator made a sketchy 2000$ withdrawal every month and also used to go see a young lady at a restaurant on a regular basis, including the night he died. They think he was having an affair, but Brennan figures out the girl is his daughter!!

The senator's wife is somehow now going to take over his seat, because apparently that's a thing, and she's been accused of poisoning him, since she was a diabetic and had access to the kind of needle that had been used to poison him. And the axe used to hack up his body. as was the senate majority leader.

Apparently if you cut yourself on coal, your skin will turn blue. The senator was going to vote against the party, and his assistant was having an affair with his wife so he was the killer.

Brennan got Booth a TV! It's a nice big one, now they're bickering over the remote cos they're adorable.

Speaking of adorable, let's see that Aubrey face one more time

NCIS: LA - Defectors

I somehow accidentally had the described video on for the first five minutes. I have no idea how it got turned on, and I have no idea how I managed to turn it off again, but DAMN that stuff is thorough. "Callen sits back and looks at Kensi's desk." The only problem is, it pauses during the dialogue, so I couldn't tell if I'd actually managed to turn it off or not.

A guy got hit by a car after getting out of his car at a stoplight because his gas cap was open. The guy who hit him was suspected of being a terrorist. His wife(? Girlfriend?) looks like she's 12 years old.

Callen bought Kensi a self-help book because she makes a mess all over his desk all the time (but Deeks put him up to it)

Wow, this whole episode is about ISIS and its recruiting tactics. I can see why they didn't air it last week. Also ride-sharing apps are the devil. But that's nothing new.

The team goes to a house and pulls guns on an unsuspecting woman and her daughter, and holds said guns on her even after she explains her other daughter has been 'taken'. The daughter was probably recruited to ISIS. Oh dear.

Callen just said 'that's my girl' to Nell and I said 'awwwwwe'!!

I sense a big brother/little sister vibe here

The sister is obnoxiously ditzy-sounding. Like she'd fit in better with on a Disney Channel show. Apparently the missing girl, Zahra, was watching ISIS propaganda videos. She's flying to Turkey to offer herself as a bride. And she was approached by a modelling agency that may have been a front. Yeesh. Can't trust anybody!

Hetty knew Jackie O, and I am not at all surprised. Kensi has to go undercover as a model. How does nobody ever hear her when she's talking to Deeks through her earpiece?! She's not exactly subtle... Just like when she was digging through the file cabinet at the modelling agency and the creepy blonde lady catches her. Or when the guy who owns the modelling agency was having an affair in the back seat of his car and Deeks catches HIM!

Well that was an awkward conversation

Zahra wasn't on the plane she was supposed to be on, but some other girls have also gone missing and might be sent to Iran - or, they're with the creepy photographer guy from the modelling agency. And Zahra was locked in the trunk of a car.

Plus Kensi was smart and convinced the other two girls to go home. Kensi and Deeks start bantering and Callen and Sam exchange a look.

Except they're Granger in this scenario

Then Kensi and Deeks walk outside, still bantering, and there are two dudes in suits near his car, and then they arrest him, for murder?!!

And then he turns and looks at Kensi and says 'I love you' but it was in a weird tone, like 'Oh, yeah, by the way', not really a declaration of love as you're being led away in handcuffs kinda thing...

And oh yeah, that's where they leave it. No further explanation. Cliffhanger.

And we all know how I feel about cliffhangers...

SNL - Elizabeth Banks

This opening was great. Offering hope and solidarity with the people of France after terrorist attacks. A note of sensitivity that SNL sometimes misses. I also didn't know Cecily spoke French, and I'm very proud of her for her delivery, I could tell it was rough and at a few points she seemed on the verge of tears. But she did an excellent job.

Full disclosure - I missed this episode and I was disappointed about that (I love Elizabeth Banks) because my roommate decided I needed to go out with her and socialize. Can't really argue with her on that one.

Elizabeth Banks starts the show wearing a ball gown. God this woman is wonderful. And singing 'Flashdance (what a feeling)'?! She's my spirit animal.

Let's just say the first fauxmercial was creepy.

Black Jeopardy! These ones are always super awkward lol Elizabeth makes a good clueless college-age hippie girl lol. Of course the correct answer is that Tupac is still alive!

It's kind of hilarious when they make the girls into a little 90s-type girl group - Vanessa used to have a crush on the Menendez brothers? That's messed up, girl... THOSE WHITE OUTFITS THOUGH!!! And I don't blame Cecily for liking TRL-era Carson Daly. He's a cutie.

He looks like he just wandered onto the set and they gave him a mic

LMAO OH GOD THOSE HIGH-SCHOOL WEIRD DRAMA KID PEOPLE. There were definitely kids like that at my high school. They weren't performance artists though, they were visual art students. Just as obnoxious, but a little easier to ignore.
"It says the proceeds from tonight's show go to Neil Patrick Harris... He doesn't need that!"
And plot twist: Aidy says her mom's dead, and Vanessa's in the audience and is actually her mom...

UPDAAAAAAATE!!!! Now they're allowed to make fun of Trump! YAAAY!!! 'Jeb Hitler' actually made me laugh out loud and I got shushed by my dad. Oops.
BTW the Starbucks cup controversy is so much horseshit. This is all I have to say on the matter:
1) The fact that they're red already acknowledges the holiday season. They could have just been left white!

Such religion. So Christ-ly. 

2) THERE ARE MUCH MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO CARE ABOUT IN THE WORLD, GET YOUR HEADS OUT OF YOUR OWN ASSES!!!!
Pete has some good points about the whole stupid 'Transgender people are only transgender so they can watch women pee' argument. Well done, Pete. (And he broke slightly hahaha 'Cecily has a beautiful singing voice... That was my favourite line')
Ughh... I love Kyle but I hate his character Bruce Chandling. The whole schtick is that he's a 'comedian' who isn't funny... But the bit itself isn't funny... So it's just uncomfortable. WHY DO THEY KEEP DOING THIS?!!
Caffeinated peanut butter is a thing?! This is what I need for breakfast... Although maybe not after what Michael said about it. Ew. Apparently a 3-piece bikini in Russia is a shirt, pants, and a big heavy coat! That sounds like a Canadian 3-piece bikini. (It started snowing today. Ugh).

OMG yes a sketch about the stupid stories Ben Carson tells, trying to seem like he used to be all tough. Jay Pharoah's impressions are perfect. I love him so much. Belts can stop all the weapons! Why don't people wear belts all over? For safety!

Bobby as an awkward extra in a TV show... his character is accused of being a pervert, and speaking of 'extras', the new SNL cast member makes his first and only appearance all episode as the guy who closes the clapboard. Who are you and where have you been all week?! And he's like 'wait people are gonna think I'm actually a pervert?!' Seems like that episode of Drake & Josh where Josh plays a criminal in a re-enactment and everyone thinks he's the real criminal.

Woah woah woah, just take it easy, man! 

Wait, is Mike O'Brien still doing things? I thought he left? He cast himself as the worst Uber driver ever. Why the hell would she even get out of the car with him? Aww now they're friends and I'm so confused. Girl, you coulda just walked to your destination. Aaaand now they're getting rid of a dead body together. And taking his wife to the hospital. Weird. 

The next sketch is the best little sketch about perspective and first-world problems. Like "OMG I had to eat my sushi with a fork cos the delivery guy forgot to bring me chopsticks." Elizabeth taking two Ubers in one episode? Does she drive herself anywhere?! But at least they agreed to stop saying 'ghetto' forever. Yaaaay progress!! 

And she said 'God Bless Paris' during the goodbye. What a sweetheart. Love you Elizabeth Banks! Never change!! (And hopefully come back and host SNL over and over and over and over again!!)

NCIS: LA - The Long Goodbye

So they changed the episode that was supposed to air tonight, in light of the terrorist attacks in Paris over the weekend, because it was supposed to be about ISIS. Definitely a smart move on CBS's part, but the opening scene involved a bomb and a bunch of shooting, I'm not sure how that's much better.
And in terms of rearranging the episodes, I'm not sure how they will swing that with the non-case-related plot items being out of order. I'm (pleased, but) surprised they didn't just bump all the episodes forward a week and air a rerun this week.

Callen is a good friend, offering to help Kensi with a situation with a PSB ('Parking Space Bitch') at Starbucks. She's right though, sometimes women DO just want to vent without people offering advice or a solution! I wish my guy friends (and my mom) would understand that!!

Sam's old 'friend' Jada was the one who was attacked and kidnapped - she was on her way to the States to go into witness protection. There's something to do with a cartel, and she might have been running away from the NCIS folks because she doesn't trust them.

Oh, BTW, Talia is back. She and Kensi are undercover. As models. With the cartel.

DEEKS WANTS TO HANG OUT WITH CALLEN!!! I want them to be buddies!!! They're my faves. "What could you possibly have plans for, staring at the ocean smoldering?"

I am certain that Callen making this face would be my favourite thing ever.

Kensi finds a guy at the party who's on a laptop looking at photos of Jada, and she pretends to want to dance with him, but then Talia's connection gets all annoyed with her, and they kick his butt. Everyone else runs away, instead of trying to fight the girls.

For some reason, the girls are getting changed behind a screen. In the middle of Ops. Right in front of the guys. Do you guys not have a bathroom or something? This is seriously weird.

Sam's interrogating a guy who thinks he knows everything about what happened with him and Jada. Sam is about to get up and probably strangle the dude, but Hetty intervenes. Good timing, Hetty.

Callen and the team follow someone to a theater, where he takes part in a shady handoff with someone in a hoodie - except the guy in the hoodie isn't a guy at all, it's Jada! And she gets in a car and takes off!

For some reason Jada wants to go back to Sudan but this is so confusing, I mean she was on this show like 3, 4 seasons ago?? HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO KEEP TRACK OF ALL THESE PEOPLE?!! They need to stop doing this!!! Sam wants to prevent her from going back to Sudan because he thinks she'll be killed.

Talia also has a PSB of her own, and she offers to have a talk about it. So sweet. Callen is still not taking sides. Love him.

The head cartel guy shoots the agent who was helping Jada, as she's about to get on a plane - and then Callen shoots that guy, but he tells Callen that he's not actually the Molina guy. Turns out the guy in the interrogation room with Sam was actually Molina. Jada's brother had told him that he was going to kill her. And literally no one is surprised.

Callen hands Jada his phone, with Sam on the other end, and he tells her that her brother's waiting to kill her. She chooses to leave anyways. Damn, this is sad. She's so lonely she just wants to go home even if that means death. Or else she's delusional about who her brother is.

Talia is now flirting with Callen, and agrees that he would give a good smolder. But nobody wants to hang out with Deeks. Poor Deeks.

NCIS: LA - An Unlocked Mind

I missed the beginning of the episode because I was at the library working on an essay. By the time I got home, too much had happened so I kind of didn't know what was going on. Soooo I forgot about it until today. Oopsie. (Darn schoolwork!)

There's a woman running in the woods, then she gets in a car and creepy people are following her, she gets in a car and there's another creepy person in there too. She punches that person and manages to drive away.

Deeks is surprisingly flexible. The lady at the beginning was the wife of a DARPA engineer named David who was a member of a weird church (a.k.a. a CULT) and Deeks & Kensi are going undercover!! Deeks is a good actor but he's also a bit of a perv haha and he thinks Nell is turning into Hetty.

If by that, he means 'tiny and badass', then yes. 

How the hell do a huge bunch of people just randomly decide they want to join a 'church'?! Do these people not have lives? Jobs? Families? The leader is very creepy and looks extremely familiar, he wants to see how 'open' Kensi is and I just threw up a little bit. (The guy who played him was a recurring character on Criminal Minds, but I probably also recognized him because he was in one of my favourite CSI episodes, 'Who Shot Sherlock'.) They keep saying "Welcome to the best part of your life" which should be a red flag right there.

Turns out the cult used to take in high-up executives from big corporations and then steal their companies' secrets. And now they've graduated to stealing defense secrets. Also, the one guy Adam, who's guiding Deeks was totally on another episode of this very show.

They put them in the pool and, naturally, Kensi and Deeks are singled out and they hold him underwater for an unnatural length of time even though he told them he was afraid of water after almost drowning as a kid (a lie) but of course, now his communication with the team in Ops is compromised. Why are those earwig things not waterproof?

The DOJ don't want them to 'poke the bear' of the church, or put agents under cover inside. Oopsie...

The defense contractor guy David has to do his 'work', which is picking up rocks from a field that were probably placed there intentionally - but when he talks to Deeks, someone else takes him away to the 'Discipline Arena' which sounds very medieval and not at all fun.

The women are even creepier than the men, they sit around glassy-eyed, drinking wine and apparently massage each other. Sounds like Real Housewives, but without the catfighting.

Deeks shows up at the Discipline Arena and they're literally doing 'Simon Says' until two of the guys start fighting. And it also involves them being told to slap themselves. Several times, Deeks makes a 'what the hell is happening here' face.

It's like this, but it's on Deeks instead of a baby. 

Sam and Nell get to go into the field, following the guy who owns the church and his shady dealings with shady Chinese people. Granger stands up to the DOJ guy and it's kind of badass. 

The women all start talking about how they're 'like sisters' and seriously, were these ladies rejected from American horror Story?? Because they're SO CREEPY!! And they drugged Kensi! Oh no! 

CREEPY CULT LADIES AND DUDE ARE TRYING TO RAPE KENSI GET HER THE HELL OUTTA THERE!!! 

David decides he wants to leave, Deeks volunteered to help him, and then chaos ensues. Deeks kicks a guy's ass using a rolled-up magazine but then David chickens out and Deeks is trapped (I think? It cut to commercial)

Yeah, he's trapped. A hive mind is an extremely dangerous thing. Eventually David comes to his senses, but not before everyone else's butts get whooped. 

Even Drugged Kensi is stronger than most sober people - she headbutts the leader and punches the creepy lady leader. 

Sam tells Callen that they've caught the Chinese guy, and Callen decides to rush into the compound because Kensi managed to contact them and tell them she'd been drugged. 

The FBI shows up, and the DOJ guy tries to stop Callen from moving in, then Granger goes all badass again, and this happens:

"We could use your help"

*FBI guys nod*

"And you... Stay the hell out of our way"

*DOJ guy looks conflicted*

But Sam lied. He hadn't found the guy. VERY CLEVER, SAM! 

Suddenly the cult members all have guns. That's not good. Deeks just straight-up tackles a dude and takes his gun. This is a really stupid place to have a compound, with no walls or anything, if you're afraid of people escaping. The dude Kensi head-butted shows up, he's gotten dressed but his nose is bloody, and he has his own gun. And it's shiny. 

He also tells the cult members to 'get the barrels and the lye' because clearly they have a process for these things, and it involves murder. He tells David that he's about to 'leave this physical plane' and right on cue, Granger shows up with the FBI agents and says 'welcome to my physical plane!' (If this was not airing on TV he would have followed up with 'motherf***er', I'm sure of it.)

Jon is a fan of Badass Granger

Not to be outdone, Callen slides in with a one-liner of his own - "Welcome to the worst part of your life."

The DOJ guy threatens to arrest Sam for lying to him, then all the other team members (first Callen, then Granger) tell him it was actually each of their faults for the lying. And then Nell (bless her!) pipes up with "I threatened Agent Hanna with physical bodily harm if he didn't lie to you. Made even more entertaining by the fact that she's standing next to him as she says it. 

All 5-foot 1 1/2" of her next to 6-foot something of him. (Hey, she's shorter than me!) 

Awkward moment when Kensi and Deeks are kissing in the boatshed and Hetty appears on the monitor hahaha gotta love her timing! But David and his wife are reunited and safe! Yaaay! And nobody had to shoot a bad guy this week! That's some kind of NCIS: LA record, right?!