SNL - Kevin Hart & Macklemore and Ryan Lewis

Obama is trying to explain budget cuts to the American people. Michelle is only able to do 4 TV appearances a week, down from her usual of 75. The austronauts are not going to have glass in their space helmets anymore, and at the national zoo, they're going to fire 3 monkeys by just letting them loose in the city. OMG YMCA REFERENCE!!!!! Sailors, police officers, construction workers, and Native Americans are all going to be affected by the budget cuts - so they all lined up in a row beside him and did the arm movements ehehehe 
To be honest, I didn't really know who Kevin Hart was, I thought he was a football player or something... But then I Googled him and realised he was a comedian. Weird. Sorry, Kevin. Apparently he auditioned for SNL a while ago (67 months ago) and was passed on for the show, which is surprising, considering his wonderful facial impression of Robert DeNiro!

I totally buy this. The resemblance is uncanny.

The next sketch is the Steve Harvey show - apparently he caught an audience volunteer on fire! And he is talking about phobias, but he pronounces it 'pho-bye-a' haha. The first guest is Kevin Hart, he's afraid of horses because he thinks they are going to steal his rings and they have knife-fingers under their hooves. So naturally, they bring out a fake horse for him to pet, and then Steve becomes afraid of it too ahaha these guys!!
YAAY it's 'The Situation Room' with 'Wolf Blitzer'!! I have never actually seen Wolf Blitzer in person, but I freaking LVE Sudeikis' impression of him!! They're covering the 'election' of the new Pope - apparently it's Quvenzhane Wallis. Right. What? I'm pretty sure there's a rule that Popes have to be a certain age... And also can't be girls. And then retired-Pope Benedict starts trying to do the 'muscleman' pose like Quvenzhane does - and then adds an 'oh no you didn't' but isn't cute enough!

I do like the idea of an adorable 9-year-old for Pope, though!!

Then they brought back the fauxmercial about the Starbucks home brewing system-thing that gets your order wrong and then bitches at you!!
Okay, Bobby and Cecily playing the obnoxious people who hate everyone they work with are back - this time working at a Chapters-esque bookstore. They bitch at two girls played by Vanessa and Kate for always being together - 'Are you 2 joined at the hip? Branch out more!' it turns out the 2 are conjoined twins, and Kate killed me with her line - 'We share a pancreas' haha the line's funny, but her deadpan delivery totally KILLED me!! Kevin is their manager, and he's actually firing the creepy old guy played by Tim, who then stands over his shoulder and nods vigorously - CAUSING KEVIN AND I TO BUST OUT LAUGHING!!!! YAY!!!
Macklemore and Ryan Lewis naturally played 'Thriftshop', it was awesome as always, and I still don't know all the lyrics, because every time I hear it, I immediately think of this one:

because I heard it before I heard the original, and it's hilarious, and I LOVE Down with Webster (they're an awesome Canadian band - check them out!)
Weekend update time!! Apparently Kim Jong Un (Bobby) is the tallest person in North Korea, and he and Dennis Rodman (Jay) are best friends!
Apparently the next season of Downton Abbey will feature the show's first black character, who - according to Seth - gets sent to live at Downton Abbey because:

"He got in one little fight, and his mom got scared" I'M DYING!!!

They also brought back the 'REALLY?!' segment with Seth - and Kevin, who kept flubbing his lines and it was hilarious! They're talking about racism in the southern States and how they're 'not as racist' anymore - but just because they're less racist than Mississippi in 1965, that's not saying much, it's like getting pulled over for a DUI and telling the cop 'I've been drunker!' THESE GUYS!! Kevin also mentioned that he's short, so I looked it up, and OH MY GOD HE'S THE SAME HIGHT AS ME!!! Dude is short...

You know that's right.

Now it's the Walking Dead and Kevin is a guy who wants to join the group, but while they're conferring on whether they should let him into the group, he gets bitten. And then when they notice he's turning into a zombie and accuse him, he says they're being racist! (I saw that coming as soon as he showed up to join them haha) then he goes to walk off and they go 'wait a minute, you didn't have a limp a minute ago!' he replies with 'what, you've never seen swag before??' LOVE IT!! Then his foot falls off - apparently due to 'diabetes' but they finally shoot him once he tries to attack them - and then when they move off, Bill says 'I knew we weren't racist!'
Now we have a Shark Tank fake-show, Tim suggested they invest in a 'slest', which is the exact opposite of a vest. Basically, he's wearing a collar and sleeves, with no shirt-part in the middle. And then Kevin's up, and keeps pronouncing it 'shork'
The next ridiculous sketch made me laugh so hard - it was a cheesy 90s-esque commercial about a 'new shirt' called the 'Zee-shirt' that's not a Tee-shirt, it's a 'ZEE-shirt!' (Or as we would say in Canada, 'zed-shirt'!) Basically it's a shirt that has a Z on it. And it comes in multiple colours! But Kevin doesn't know what letter it is, so he goes through the entire alphabet really enthusiastically, almost like Tracy Morgan haha and then Tim gets fed up and storms off like 'oh forget it'

The next song by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis was actually really good, I liked it, the one guy (whichever one was in the white suit jacket) is pretty cute.. And the other one was dancing like a crazy person, I loved it! And then he took off his jacket and OH GOD

No, Beiber wasn't back, thank goodness, but REMEMBER THAT AWFUL SHIRT??
(My friend added one more possible material to my list: garbage bag.)

It's the same freaking shirt!!! Who knew Beiber sold his stuff to a thrift store??!

When we came back from commercial, there was a funeral scene, and then Tim gets up to make a speech about his dead mother, and says 'do you have a question?' to someone off-camera, and then Kevin pops up and says 'Is it a W-shirt? Is it a Y-shirt??' AND I LOST IT!!! THEY NEVER DO THAT!!! Well, sometimes they have recurring sketches in one show (MacGruber, anyone?), but not where they set it up to be something entirely different and then bring in someone else!! I WAS DYING OF LAUGHTER!!

Yes. Yes it is.

I also loved the next sketch, it was a thing called the 360 news show, with a whole bunch of cameras where the anchor (Kevin) swivels to a different camera for each 'story' - which is only one sentence long. The idea alone is enough to make me laugh, but now the newsanchor has a neck brace so it's hurting him to change cameras (which doesn't make sense to me, since he is in a swively-chair, and doesn't need to turn his neck, just his body! And then when the producers tell him that he should just use the one camera, he gets really mad, and then asks all 5 camerapeople (including Jay, dangling from the ceiling) and they say that they all think the idea of the show s stupid - which makes no sense to me, because they wouldn't have a job if they said that... But oh well haha he flips out and gets mad at all of them. And that is the end of that episode!

Much better material than the last episode.



UNTIL NEXT WEEK!! OMG SO EXCITED YOU HAVE NO IDEA!!!!!!

Justin's bringing funny BAAAAAACK!!!!!!!!