Big Bang Theory - 'The Tangible Affection Proof'

Penny saved a guy's life by pointing out that he was choking, so then one of the busboys Heimliched him, and Leonard is kid of underwhelmed by this heroism tale. She doesn't really feel like doing anything for Valentine's day, and he calls himself a 'romance ninja' and says he's going to surprise her.
Despite Sheldon's best effort to change the subject, Amy persists in her query about what they should do for Valentine's day.
Howard demonstrates saying 'Okay' in a bunch of different voice tones into the phone (apparently he and Bernadette are both stressed and cranky) and Raj suggests to Stewart that he should have a party at the comic book store for all the lonely people.
Alex is enlisted by Sheldon, to buy a gift for Amy, apparently he has around two thousand dollars sitting around in his office. According to him, Amy likes monkeys, and the colour grey.
Howard makes Bernadette a tiny heart that's 1/1000th the size of a grain of sand and has their initials carved into it - "A micro-valentine for my micro-biologist" "From her micro-husband" says Leonard.

She already has a micro-Howard!!

Aaaand then he proceeds to drop it. So dinner with Leonard and Penny it is! Alex found some awesome gifts for Amy, but Sheldon hates the first 2 and then likes the third so much, he decides to keep it for himself.
At dinner, Howard and Bernadette are both in a really bad mood, because she hid his Xbox after he didn't do the laundry.
Raj makes Stewart very uncomfortable by saying he wishes Stewart was a girl, because then 'all their problems would be solved' haha.
Poor Penny gets put in a bad mood by the sight of her ex-boyfriend at the same restaurant - eating with her old friend, that he cheated on her with. Awkward.
When Leonard says that she should ignore them, because he and she are going to have a better night anyways, then she sees her ex pull out an engagement ring. Ohh boy. But she wouldn't let Leonard top him by getting down on one knee hahaha probably a wise move. But then she gets all mad, like nothing good is happening in her life, and Leonard goes 'um, ouch!'. But on the bright side, their bickering makes Bernadette and Howard think their argument is silly, and they make up. Clever Bernie hid the Xbox in the one place he'd never look - the washing machine!
When Amy arrives to find a reluctant Sheldon ready to go on their date, she tells him that she's changed her mind, and instead of having a fancy romantic dinner, she wants to just do what will make him happy, by staying at the apartment, ordering a pizza, and watching one of his 'Star Wars / Trek movies'. Whatever would make him happy. She's so precious!!
Getting his way, naturally, makes Sheldon really happy and - dare I say - grateful, and he thanks her, then presents her with his gift - a sheet of paper with his name and the university's logo at the top, and at the bottom, under 'emergency contact' it has her name and phone number! And she's so happy that she hugs him for an extended period of time haha
Penny and Leonard get home, and he confronts her about how she was behaving at the restaurant, and acting like she wants nothing to do with him, so then she gives a speech that I kind of hated, about how she keeps having commitment issues, and 'eventually she's going to just give in if he keeps asking' wow, what a lovely lukewarm sentiment... And then he makes an agreement with her, that if they date for long enough and she feels the time is right, then she has to propose to him. 

Like this!!

And then he says that he wants her to go the whole nine yards haha, but nothing on a Jumbotron - because he doesn't want to cry in front of a crowd.

NOT like this!

She agrees to that, and then takes his hand, looks deep into his eyes and says: "I have a very important question to ask you.. Leonard Hoffstadder.. will you be my Valentine?" I actually gasped halfway through that because a small part of me thought she was actually going to propose... Even though I knew it would make no sense.
AND THEN he killed me with laughter by saying "Sorry, maybe next year," and getting up, walking to the door, then when he gets to the door he turns around and goes "I'm just kidding, romance ninja, let's have sex! HOO-YAH!" OH MY GOD possibly the pest part of the episode.
Back at the comic book store, all the guys (and a few girls - hellooo?? What happened to the whole 'females never set foot in here' thing?!) are moping about, and then Raj gets up and makes a very Jeff-Winger-esque speech about how if they have each other and are miserable together, they're not really alone! He even threw in the word 'community' haha.. Then a girl comes up to him and, without really making eye contact with him, says she liked his speech and so he asks her out, and when they leave he turns around and shouts 'later, losers!' to the room. 

The Handsome Dude would be proud.

At the end, Amy is in her lab and her phone rings - it's Sheldon saying he thinks he's been bitten by a Chinese Bird Spider - apparently the bump 'feels Asian'. She refuses to drive over there to get him, because the day before he thought he had a brain tumour, and it was actually just an ice cream headache. Which confuses me, because they work at the same university, why does she have to 'drive' over there?? Anyway. As she's leaving, she says 'brain tunour would explain a lot' hahah and indeed, I think it would. After all, we all know, he can't be crazy - his mother had him tested!