Bones - The Lance in the Heart

Regarding this episode's title:

But there's good news amongst the sadness, mourning Bones fans!

YES THAT IS RYAN CARTWRIGHT (AKA VINCENT)!!!! 
New theory: whatever movie JFD is working on is secretly the Bones version of heaven.

I think we can all agree that if the two of them posted a video together singing 'Da lime in da coconut', we could get some closure, hmmm? That is not remotely a sad song, but it still makes me sad.

Where did that MASSIVE quilt on the wall of B & B's house come from? Booth crying is gonna make me cry more - and then they have to teach Christine about death in the worst possible way. Someone pass the Kleenex.

It kind of annoys me that they have to de-flesh every single set of remains, even those who are 'fresh'. That's not always 100% necessary in real life. Just because it's called 'Bones'. Urgh.

I think I know what they're trying to do with this Aubrey guy... They're trying to distract us with someone newer and shinier (and handsomer) and they think that'll make us forget. BUT IT WILL NOT! 

Look at those eyes, man....

Side note: apparently the actor who plays him, John Boyd, was in Argo, which I have seen multiple times, but I didn't recognize him. And he's not on Twitter (...yet).

Booth finds the car used to kill Sweets which was stolen (of course) and then they go up onto the roof of a building for some reason, and the guy is up there, dead and covered in rats. He was an FBI agent-turned-Navy SEAL that Aubrey knew. I was kind of hoping Booth would get to take the guy down, but Sweets got him after all. Good.

The documents that Sweets got from executing that warrant were stolen by the killer, but he didn't have them. And Booth is now allowed to stay on the case, because that's not at all a conflict of interest. Caroline thinks the FBI director wants Booth to trust him.

I don't understand how Daisy is still so annoyingly matter-of-fact through all this. And this is the second episode, shouldn't we get a different squint?? Even if it's a two-parter?? I want to see someone other than Clark!!

OK now I'm mad, because it turns out Sweets didn't manage to kill the bad guy. Someone else stabbed him and used the bullet wound to hide it. Goddamn, he can't have anything!! That person probably took the document. Which they can't get another warrant for because of some made-up rule that isn't really a thing.

Daisy and Angela find a bunch of notes in Sweet's pocket about various suspects - and then one that says 'Seeley' a bunch of times. Daisy starts crying (only now??!) and says that that was what Sweets wanted to name the baby. And then I start crying, but obviously the baby's gonna be named Lance now. Although 'Lance Seeley' sounds pretty nice together...

Booth and Brennan have an argument because he has a bunch of guns, and Brennan thinks Booth has become not like himself, and too angry, and she doesn't want to be around him, or have her daughter be around him. 

It's the beard! The beard is making him violent!! They must be in the darkest timeline because Sweets is dead!

Then those blue seats make a re-appearance, apparently they're in some back hallway of their house in front of a suitably large window.

Remember this episode? This was a good episode.

OK the next part of the episode is really well-written because I saw it like 50 times in the episode preview and it still made me cry... Daisy asking Brennan for 'one last conversation' and them looking at his old injuries and talking about him as a child, and playing the piano (all I could think of was that goatee from the beginning of Season 6).

Poor Cam! Has to be the grown-up and plan his funeral. I love Cam and she's totally gorgeous, but her hair is in kind of that awkward half-grown-out stage between short and long and it doesn't really look... right.

Aubrey is a history nerd and gets a brain-block and needs to think of something else in order for the word he's looking for to come to him. JUST LIKE ME! But that's pretty annoying when I need to do that.

Handsome agent is handsome. But he's no Sweets!!!

Hodgin's little British car has made a reappearance! And Aubrey asks if he stole it from a British toddler, then later calls it a 'bumper car'. Skeptical Aubrey is starting to sound like Season-2-era skeptical Booth.




GUYS. They've found tapes of JFK talking/flirting with various people. This is so cool (and I'm wondering who they got to do the voiceover).

I'm also really glad they're using Caroline more these days!! She's so sassy and hilarious - and a little flirty with Aubrey haha but who can blame her?

Bones is 'always sure when she speaks' and someone's cells began growing inside of someone else. And I'm still so confused as to what makes all of this a 'conspiracy'. But whatever. They talk to another guy who spouts some patriotic bullshit, which sounds like a confession but is apparently only 'free speech'. Ugh. I hate pretentious people. 'Perhaps you're being unreasonable because you've spent so much time defending your idea of the Constitution.' Screw this guy!

But they found his DNA in the other guy... Booth gives a patriotic lecture and says he's a 'pathetic little man who is gonna die in prison'. And I hate the fact that it's possible to 'blackmail' one's way out of prison. Although I suppose that's how Booth got out, soooo I'm just gonna sit down and shut up.

The bad guy had hidden his files in the J. Edgar Hoover exhibit at the Jeffersonian! Which is kinda silly, it being that close to the team, but oh well!

Now it's funeral time and this is not OK! They had pizza because it was his favourite food and that's even less OK because I eat pizza all the time and now I'm gonna be sad. (But I'm not gonna stop eating pizza). Brennan gave a beautiful speech involving algebra and somehow algebra made me cry. And she admits that she loved Sweets and that's one of the most touching things of all. They cremated him and go to release him, and the Booth interrupts - AND HE SAYS THEY NEED TO SING SWEETS' 'JAM'!!!! SO THEY ALL START SINGING 'DA LIME IN DA COCONUT'!!! And I screamed 'OH MY GOD' and my roommate thought I was insane but it's such a sweet gesture... They need to sing that at my funeral. Because it's a happy song.

 

Sorry for the lousy quality...

So that's all the feels for this week... Was this a decent episode? Are you guys happy to be getting back to the non-conspiracy regular cases? Did you get some closure? Am I the only one who will be sad every time she hears 'Da Lime in Da Coconut'??

Completely unrelated, but here's a bonus photo of our favourite handsome characters (although two of them are now dead, and one has cancer, so that's really rather depressing). It's kind of old, but I just found it randomly, so I felt it needed to be shared. I don't know what Ryan's doing. But John's eyebrow game is very strong, as is Michael Grant Terry (Wendell)'s *smoulder*. I think I might make this my desktop photo for a while.