Bones - The Psychic in the Soup

BONES IS BAAAAAACK!!!!
I had no idea when they went on Christmas hiatus that they were going to be away for so long. It bummed me out a great deal. And I have classes 6:30-9:30 p.m. on Thursdays this semester, so I can't even watch it when it's actually on. Poo.
BUT WHO CARES BECAUSE THERE'S A NEW EPISODE AND I'M SO EXCITED!!!!! 

By the way, for those of you following along at home, I have amassed a large collection of (primarily Jon Stewart-related) reaction GIFs, and I intend to use them as frequently as possible. I apologize in advance. 

Except I'm not sorry at all because Jon Stewart is amazing. 

B & B's house suddenly looks WAAAY different in the establishing shots than before. Christine has an imaginary friend, and he needs his cake on a plate or else she'll get dirty. 

It's Sweets' birthday. And I'm weeping already. That was fast. 

Nothing is wrong with Aubrey. He clearly is just a walking IMDB, like me. (Filing away in my brain bank the fact that the original title for Texas Chainsaw Massacre was 'head cheese').

DUUUUUDE I have been watching a lot of Parks and Recreation on Netflix lately - shoutout to my friend who got me a subscription for Christmas! - and John Boyd (Aubrey)'s voice sounds ALMOST EXACTLY LIKE ADAM SCOTT!!!

Weird coincidence. Also: they both have great hair.

Oh my god, Sweets was only 29 when he died? That's only 8 1/2 years older than me... Also I see they've added John Boyd to the title sequence! I guess he's gonna be sticking around for a while!! (Unsurprisingly, he's eating. What a dude).

Dr. Fuentes is back, and he can't do a skull-puzzle as quickly as Christine. Maybe they should just hire her as a squintern. OK and Angela suddenly doesn't need a reconstructed skull for identification? They've sped up her process so much, pretty soon she'll have an ID before they even find the body...

And now Aubrey is reciting bible verses? Did we really need another genius with an eidetic memory on this show?! AVALON IS BAAAACK!!! Clearly the victim was a psychic. That shot of Booth holding pillows under his arms was adorable. 

Awww Aubrey's father walked out on him and his mother. And he is astonished that Avalon figured it out. He's also got a bitterness to him in regards to psychics, moreso than the usual 'ugh not this again' attitude that the scientists do. I think his mother might have spent a lot of money on psychics...

AUBREY'S SARCASM IS KILLING ME. And this Taylor dude is clearly such a fraud. He's making weird hand gestures. Hand gestures are the sign of fake psychics. 

Pay no attention to that man behind the podium,

Dr. Fuentes is hiding something!! And I recant my earlier theory about Aubrey's mom - Cam got the storyline about the family member spending money on psychics.

So far we've got psychics, familial fallings-out, fraud, and now an affair? Is this an episode of Bones, or The Mentalist? I've always found that that show had a scandal for literally every suspect...  Hodgins 'actually kind of likes' Avalon (what a lovely lukewarm sentiment!) and she's contacted Sweets and this is hurting me too much, just... Stop... Talking!! Dead Sweets is sad? DAMNIT NOW I'M SAD!!!! 

Does Aubrey even have an office? Why is he eating in the conference room? Maybe his desk isn't big enough for all that food... And Booth got the donuts. Awwwe. "It felt weird not to get them." "But it'd also be wrong not to eat them, right?" I like your logic, Aubrey. I think that shot of him taking a bite is the one they used in the credits. Aaaand now I want donuts.

Bonding and crime-solving over baked goods. That's my boys.

Refreshing!! A Christian on a TV show who isn't a giant homophobe!! Now let's hope he's not a murderer... And Fuentes was hiding his smuggling of prescription medication to Cuba for poor sick people and oh my god that's the most noble thing that a Jeffersonian employee could ever possibly be fired for. Damn, just when I was starting to like him...

A bug autopsy is a thing! Angela gives a beautiful impassionate monologue telling Hodgins that psychic powers could be a scientific thing. And she changes Hodgins' mind and he apologizes to Avalon and he loves Angela and I want to cry again.

I will be using this one a lot if they keep talking about Sweets...

Avalon is so sassy. He may not like psychics, but I think Aubrey and Avalon would make an epic team. I CALL SPINOFF IDEA!!!!

Brennan approves of the smuggling, says she would do the same thing. So there's that. 

How does someone get hit in the head with a hammer and not need to go to the hospital?! 'She was very much alive, and cursing me out' SO?!! You've never heard of a concussion?!!

AND BRENNAN SENT THE MEDS OFF TO CUBA ANYWAYS!!! STICKING IT TO THE (WO)MAN!!!! So I guess Fuentes is staying!

Apparently there's a message about Sweets' car? Wouldn't Daisy look through it for any belongings?? And how did Angela know about it being sold that day? 

Oooooh so it was the girlfriend all along. Not the one with the hammer, the other one. But she was the fourth person interviewed!! Good job Bones writers, breaking pattern to mess with our brains hahaha. But it was kinda-sorta an accident. Maybe? I don't know. But she hid the body so she's still in trouble. Her poor kids.

I absolutely love Booth playing along with Christine. He's such a good dad. I swear to god this is an entirely different house. I know they renovated hardcore, but the layout is entirely different. And Christine wants them to read her a love story - seriously, this kid is three?!!

I mean the actress is 5... They can't expect us to believe that

Sweets used to give out presents on his birthday and I'm crying again. Oh that precious boy. He finished his 'birthday gift' like 6 months early? What a coincidence. It's the book he wrote about B & B's partnership. And 'Buddy', Christine's imaginary friend, wanted them to read THAT story - HOLY SHIT HER IMAGINARY FRIEND IS SWEETS. CHRISTINE IS PSYCHIC. CHRISTINE IS COMMUNICATING WITH SWEETS. OH MY GOD.

This episode was amazing. I don't know what else to say. I miss Sweets so much, but I love Aubrey. There was some good emotion, some good banter, and I was glad to see Avalon again. I'm also glad they didn't just dismiss the Sweets thing so easily. I hope they keep mentioning him, it really bugs me on TV shows where a character dies and they just move on like 2 episodes later like nothing happened. 

And let's all sing 'da lime in da coconut' one more time, for our dear pal Sweets. Happy birthday, you beautiful perfect man. *sobs quietly*

Bones - The Puzzler in the Pit

Daisy is back! And super pregnant. She's also waiting for the baby to 'communicate' to her how he wants his room set up... Uhhhh...

Booth is making puns about the word 'fracking'. Bones bought enough things for Daisy's baby to fill their living room. Holy generosity, Brennan! But Booth really wants to keep that Fisher-Price popper thing which is hilarious because I'd do the same thing (even if he folds himself in half in order to use it)

What grown adult wouldn't want one of these??
If they made a vacuum version, I'd be vacuuming every day.

There is a heck of a lot of hydrochloric acid on the remains, which is eating away at the tissue (everybody with me now - ewww!!) and Hodgins gets all MacGyver on them and dumps baking soda on them to neutralize the acid (Although I call bullshit on the lack of special effects there, it didn't fizz like AT ALL, and we all know what happens when you combine sodium bicarbonate and acid...)

"It's not just for baking anymore!"

Brennan doesn't think Daisy understands infants, and I concur. Not that Brennan really understood them when she became a mother, either... Remember this?

We're ten seasons in, and that is STILL one of my favourite moments.

The victim was a guy who made crossword puzzles. That's a pretty cool job, but I imagine very difficult... Cam was a fan of his and this is interesting, because she's not usually very nerdy.
Angela also thinks Daisy is going crazy - because her doula keeps telling her all these weird things like buying crystals would help make the birth painless. Angela's plan is for Brennan to continue telling Daisy she's ignorant. And I know she's in a weird place emotionally, what with Sweets and all *bursts out sobbing* but she's still a scientist!! And therefore should know better!!

OH! PS! Speaking of Sweets! He's been nominated for a People's Choice award for 'Character we'll miss the most' SO GO HERE TO VOTE: http://vote.peopleschoice.com/#!/home/all/49/2 (And then scroll through the other TV categories and vote for Bones in a bunch of those where they're nominated, too!!)

He wants you to vote for him.

Booth refers to the suspect as 'any old schmo' so Brennan takes this and goes on a tangent about whether or not the guy speaks Yiddish ('schmo' is 'idiot' in Yiddish). Aubrey walks in on the middle of this conversation and doesn't know what to say.

Hodgins has a really sweet moment with Daisy talking about all her superstitious stuff. "I don't want you to push us all away because you're afraid of losing someone else." Which is adorable, especially considering I didn't think he liked her very much. And then Brennan gets a little too harsh about it and hurts Daisy's feelings, and now I feel bad. Crap.

The doula is kinda bitchy to Angela when she accompanies Daisy to her appointment, since she's 'mixing different energies' and whatnot and then says that 'even though she didn't have a non-traumatic birthing experience' that she 'seems like a nice person, and I'm sure your baby will be just fine'. Angela fires back "Yeah, my baby is perfectly fine." I'm surprised there wasn't more to that comeback, but I think she was kinda caught off-guard.

We all know there ain't no shade like Montenegro shade.

OH MY GOD!!! OH MY GOD!!! The 'schmo' who left the threatening message for the victim is PLAYED BY SAM LLOYD A.K.A. TED FROM SCRUBS A.K.A. THE SHOW I'VE BEEN BINGE-WATCHING THE LAST FEW WEEKS!!! (Fun fact: I recognized his voice even before looking up at the TV hahaha) He was planning on taking legal action against the victim for stealing his work - which is funny, because, after all, Ted is a horrible lawyer.

"Lawsuits are bad." That's the extent of his knowledge on the subject.

OK this case has turned emotional now, too, because the victim had Alzheimer's. And poor Aubrey's grandma had dementia too! That stuff makes me so incredibly sad. The victim was also gambling all his money away (without even knowing it) and Aubrey is taking over and preventing Booth from gambling in order to smoke out the bookie. What a good guy!!

Aubrey asks the bookie if he's playing stupid, bookie says "Stupid? What's stupid?". I'm not 100% sure he's playing... Turns out the actual gambler was the victim's assistant.

And then Daisy starts having contractions, which she insists are just Braxton-Hicks contractions and then therefore 'not a big deal'. Which I recall someone else saying about Braxton-Hicks, but that was a man, and...

You tell him, Rachel!

But then her water breaks, and she says "I'm sorry... I'll clean it up" hahaha she eventually freaks out on that stupid doula (after the doula tells her to send her friends out because they're 'distracting') and tells her to 'get the hell out' and I have never been more proud of Daisy than at that moment hahaha.

Aubrey is deadpan whilst talking to Booth on the phone and I love it.

They figure out at the last moment (well, Daisy does, whilst in labour) that the killer was the victim's son that he didn't know he had, then Aubrey interviews the guy and he admits to pushing him because the victim didn't recognize him even though they'd spoken earlier the same day - the son didn't know about the Alzheimer's. And then he feels awful and starts crying. Plus, the guy probably wouldn't have died from that push if he hadn't been on Alzheimer's meds that weakened his bones. So now I feel like crap.
Unrelated side note: Aubrey wearing blue is a wonderful thing. Let's get more of that.

Look what it does for his eyes!

I usually don't cry when babies are born on TV shows. But this one had me weeping. And they named him Seeley Lance Wick-Sweets. Which is a mouthful. But so very perfect. And he's precious. And Booth gets to be the first to hold him and he just STARES at him like he's never seen a baby before.

This episode gave me so many feels. But they were good feels. A+ work from Carla Gallo, holy crap, I just wanted to give Daisy a hug!! Welcome to the world, little Seeley!! You're going to be one of the most spoiled and loved babies ever!! I need a tissue.

Bones - The Lance in the Heart

Regarding this episode's title:

But there's good news amongst the sadness, mourning Bones fans!

YES THAT IS RYAN CARTWRIGHT (AKA VINCENT)!!!! 
New theory: whatever movie JFD is working on is secretly the Bones version of heaven.

I think we can all agree that if the two of them posted a video together singing 'Da lime in da coconut', we could get some closure, hmmm? That is not remotely a sad song, but it still makes me sad.

Where did that MASSIVE quilt on the wall of B & B's house come from? Booth crying is gonna make me cry more - and then they have to teach Christine about death in the worst possible way. Someone pass the Kleenex.

It kind of annoys me that they have to de-flesh every single set of remains, even those who are 'fresh'. That's not always 100% necessary in real life. Just because it's called 'Bones'. Urgh.

I think I know what they're trying to do with this Aubrey guy... They're trying to distract us with someone newer and shinier (and handsomer) and they think that'll make us forget. BUT IT WILL NOT! 

Look at those eyes, man....

Side note: apparently the actor who plays him, John Boyd, was in Argo, which I have seen multiple times, but I didn't recognize him. And he's not on Twitter (...yet).

Booth finds the car used to kill Sweets which was stolen (of course) and then they go up onto the roof of a building for some reason, and the guy is up there, dead and covered in rats. He was an FBI agent-turned-Navy SEAL that Aubrey knew. I was kind of hoping Booth would get to take the guy down, but Sweets got him after all. Good.

The documents that Sweets got from executing that warrant were stolen by the killer, but he didn't have them. And Booth is now allowed to stay on the case, because that's not at all a conflict of interest. Caroline thinks the FBI director wants Booth to trust him.

I don't understand how Daisy is still so annoyingly matter-of-fact through all this. And this is the second episode, shouldn't we get a different squint?? Even if it's a two-parter?? I want to see someone other than Clark!!

OK now I'm mad, because it turns out Sweets didn't manage to kill the bad guy. Someone else stabbed him and used the bullet wound to hide it. Goddamn, he can't have anything!! That person probably took the document. Which they can't get another warrant for because of some made-up rule that isn't really a thing.

Daisy and Angela find a bunch of notes in Sweet's pocket about various suspects - and then one that says 'Seeley' a bunch of times. Daisy starts crying (only now??!) and says that that was what Sweets wanted to name the baby. And then I start crying, but obviously the baby's gonna be named Lance now. Although 'Lance Seeley' sounds pretty nice together...

Booth and Brennan have an argument because he has a bunch of guns, and Brennan thinks Booth has become not like himself, and too angry, and she doesn't want to be around him, or have her daughter be around him. 

It's the beard! The beard is making him violent!! They must be in the darkest timeline because Sweets is dead!

Then those blue seats make a re-appearance, apparently they're in some back hallway of their house in front of a suitably large window.

Remember this episode? This was a good episode.

OK the next part of the episode is really well-written because I saw it like 50 times in the episode preview and it still made me cry... Daisy asking Brennan for 'one last conversation' and them looking at his old injuries and talking about him as a child, and playing the piano (all I could think of was that goatee from the beginning of Season 6).

Poor Cam! Has to be the grown-up and plan his funeral. I love Cam and she's totally gorgeous, but her hair is in kind of that awkward half-grown-out stage between short and long and it doesn't really look... right.

Aubrey is a history nerd and gets a brain-block and needs to think of something else in order for the word he's looking for to come to him. JUST LIKE ME! But that's pretty annoying when I need to do that.

Handsome agent is handsome. But he's no Sweets!!!

Hodgin's little British car has made a reappearance! And Aubrey asks if he stole it from a British toddler, then later calls it a 'bumper car'. Skeptical Aubrey is starting to sound like Season-2-era skeptical Booth.




GUYS. They've found tapes of JFK talking/flirting with various people. This is so cool (and I'm wondering who they got to do the voiceover).

I'm also really glad they're using Caroline more these days!! She's so sassy and hilarious - and a little flirty with Aubrey haha but who can blame her?

Bones is 'always sure when she speaks' and someone's cells began growing inside of someone else. And I'm still so confused as to what makes all of this a 'conspiracy'. But whatever. They talk to another guy who spouts some patriotic bullshit, which sounds like a confession but is apparently only 'free speech'. Ugh. I hate pretentious people. 'Perhaps you're being unreasonable because you've spent so much time defending your idea of the Constitution.' Screw this guy!

But they found his DNA in the other guy... Booth gives a patriotic lecture and says he's a 'pathetic little man who is gonna die in prison'. And I hate the fact that it's possible to 'blackmail' one's way out of prison. Although I suppose that's how Booth got out, soooo I'm just gonna sit down and shut up.

The bad guy had hidden his files in the J. Edgar Hoover exhibit at the Jeffersonian! Which is kinda silly, it being that close to the team, but oh well!

Now it's funeral time and this is not OK! They had pizza because it was his favourite food and that's even less OK because I eat pizza all the time and now I'm gonna be sad. (But I'm not gonna stop eating pizza). Brennan gave a beautiful speech involving algebra and somehow algebra made me cry. And she admits that she loved Sweets and that's one of the most touching things of all. They cremated him and go to release him, and the Booth interrupts - AND HE SAYS THEY NEED TO SING SWEETS' 'JAM'!!!! SO THEY ALL START SINGING 'DA LIME IN DA COCONUT'!!! And I screamed 'OH MY GOD' and my roommate thought I was insane but it's such a sweet gesture... They need to sing that at my funeral. Because it's a happy song.

 

Sorry for the lousy quality...

So that's all the feels for this week... Was this a decent episode? Are you guys happy to be getting back to the non-conspiracy regular cases? Did you get some closure? Am I the only one who will be sad every time she hears 'Da Lime in Da Coconut'??

Completely unrelated, but here's a bonus photo of our favourite handsome characters (although two of them are now dead, and one has cancer, so that's really rather depressing). It's kind of old, but I just found it randomly, so I felt it needed to be shared. I don't know what Ryan's doing. But John's eyebrow game is very strong, as is Michael Grant Terry (Wendell)'s *smoulder*. I think I might make this my desktop photo for a while.

Bones - The Conspiracy in the Corpse

Bones being back makes me really excited because I have been watching Season 7 on DVD the last couple of days and it's really interesting to compare Booth and Bones when they first got together as a couple to the Booth and Bones that are now been married and have an almost-three-year-old.

Plus, it's one of those shows where the cast members really feel like a family and they all just make me so happy - except for the conspiracy bullshit that happened in the Season 9 finale and has left Booth arrested and him and Bones with a shot-up house.

Booth now comes with a beard and looks a lot older all of a sudden. Maybe that's just the harsh prison lighting. He also gets beat up a couple times. I'm still dumbstruck that the circumstances under which he's been imprisoned don't seem incredibly stupid to anyone else.

Sneaky squints are being sneaky and 'keeping things on the down-low'.... Not that anyone in the FBI will wonder what they're up to, in PLAIN SIGHT in the MIDDLE OF THE LAB.

Bones has a tense visit with Booth, and the security guard at the jail has been watching too much Arrested Development

Apparently the only way to get Booth out of jail is for Bones to walk into the office of a federal prosecutor and tell him 'Oh hi, I'm here to blackmail you.'....And it worked.

She also illustrates the crucial difference between being ordered not to do something, and promising not to do something.

I need to applaud the set designers on this show... Not only is the lab and attached offices utterly stunning, but THEIR NEW HOUSE OH MY GOD it looks like one of those places on Cribs or something.

Booth can't go back to work yet because he's a 'pariah' at the FBI office. Excellent use of the word. And I love that this show (like House) is one that would freak out Peter Griffin every five minutes, because they say the title almost constantly. Both as a nickname and as a noun. I'd wager it's one of the most-said words on the show.

He said it! And again! And there too!

'Insinuating' is also a good vocabulary word. But apparently people who are friends with Booth's boss should not be intimidated. Shouldn't they do a better job of figuring out who's sketchy and who's not before they hire/befriend them? But Booth is being followed by a handsome agent guy who Booth manages to outsmart. Apparently his name is SA James Aubry. And don't just take my word for it - one of the writers thinks he's a looker too.

Booth hasn't called Sweets a 'kid' in a while so he needs to call Aubry one now. I think Sweets would call that 'transference'. I hope they keep this one around for a while... Not like all the other random agents who are there for like four episodes then vanish, never to be seen/heard from again.

Like what happened to her?!!

Or her?? Although it's plausible she got fired after shooting Sweets... Poor kid, TWO 'accidental' bullet wounds.

Or... OK he wasn't an FBI agent but can you blame me for wanting more of him??!!

WHAT THE HELL SURPRISE DAISY AND PREGNANT DAISY NO LESS!!!!! Baby Sweets is gonna have a baby!!! This makes me very happy but slightly less happy because Daisy.

"It hurts when I breathe" I think Booth is channeling his inner Shania Twain. And then he and Bones start undressing and making out on their bed which is in front of a GIANT wall of windows. Not that they have neighbours or anything...

According to Twitter, TJ Thyne (Hodgins) and Tamara Taylor (Cam) laugh the most on set. I don't know why, but the idea of them giggling like idiots in the middle of shooting just makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I love these people!

Bones says Sweets is going to be a good father. I concur. Remember how cute he was in Season 8 with Christine?? I couldn't find photographic evidence of that - but you know it to be true!

Suddenly, in the words of one of the writers, 'everyone's being blackmailed!' (Sounds like an episode of The Mentalist, amiright?)

(Commercial break) friendly reminder that I love Elementary... But it's not back until October 30th. Poo.

Sad Sherlock is all of us.

I gotta say, this show is going to be so helpful when I take Human Anatomy next semester. Things like 'spinal processes' are going to come in handy. Also Christine looks way older than she should. Children don't age at a normal pace in the TV universe.

Surprise Aubrey! Apparently he answers to 'James, Jimmy... Anything'. Does 'Handsome' fall into that category? And after seeing the adorable sleeping Christine, he wants to get himself a child... DOES EVERYONE ON THIS SHOW JUST MAKE BABIES IN THEIR SPARE TIME??

Don't just take my word for it...

Oh for shit's sake, more conspiracy bullshit, taking the remains that were the last clue they had. But Cam is brilliant! And swapped out the bones!! She thinks of everything!

And then the whole world just went to shit and I want to tweet the writers saying I hate them, but I tried that and one of them (another Emily, no less) favourited my tweet but no. Just no. I don't even have any words. Fuck this show. Not my baby, not precious baby Sweets. I get it, they bring in a young, dark-haired cute agent just to replace him, right? Like 'here's your new Sweets' NO TAKE HIM BACK FORGET WHAT I SAID EARLIER!

Is this how things work in the Bones universe? Someone has to die whenever someone has a baby? So the baby can have a namesake? Karmic balance or something? Bones' daughter was named after her mother, who, granted, died years before but it's still sad. Then we have Angela & Hodgins' son named partly after Vincent - which reminds me, I STILL HAVEN'T FORGIVEN YOU GUYS FOR KILLING VINCENT!!! And now baby Lance? Why must they kill all of my favourites? First Zach goes psycho, then Vincent, now this, and they already gave Wendell cancer!! Isn't that enough??

Swear to god, this is the most empathy I've ever felt for Daisy.
And then when Brennan said "This isn't Sweets. It's a set of remains that will help us find the man who killed Sweets." I just lost it. Let me put it this way - I read the entirety of The Fault in Our Stars by John Green (for the first time) today, and this hurt me more. Not okay. NOT FREAKING OKAY.

Apparently John Francis Daley wanted to pursue his writing, so they killed him. I'm getting flashbacks of Kal Penn on House.  We have a fatherless baby so you can get a sequel to Horrible Bosses. You're welcome.

It hurt me to look through all the pictures of him just to choose one. So here are a bunch.

Remember the goatee?

*Sobs*

At risk of sounding like Daisy - goodnight, sweet Lancelot.

This turned into a much longer and much more screamy post than I intended. Sometimes emotions get the better of you. I can just go back to watching Season 7 - EXCEPT THAT'LL MAKE ME CRY NOW. Good grief.

Screw it, I'm gonna go watch Friends.

Bones - 'The Secret in the Seige' (season finale)

I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM OH MY GOD I HATE HIM!!!!!!
And by 'him' I mean Pelant, I mean in the history of all my years watching TV I have never hated a serial killer as much as I hate this one!!! Not only is he smug and arrogant, and an evil sonofabitch, but he frames Bones, tries to make Hodgins kill him, breaks into their homes, AND he makes it so they can't trust their own equipment!! I have to give the writers some serious props for this, but at the same time I HATE THEM SO MUCH FOR CREATING THIS SONOFABITCH!!!

At least he's hideously deformed and blind in one eye now... If only he'd go out in public he'd be easy to find...

So a bunch of FBI agents have been killed, they were all linked because they were a part of this big, deadly compound siege that Booth was also a part of. They, naturally, assume that Booth is the next target. They find a girl who witnessed the second murder and she describes someone matching the son of one of the people killed during the siege. They track him down, and he pulls a gun on Booth, but then he notices all the other agents, who have guns, and tries to shoot himself but Booth wrestles the gun from him and they take him in.
He just starts rambling about being 'close to God' and then they find out he has an alibi so he couldn't have killed the agents. But Sweets realizes that Pelant is referencing a bunch of papers he wrote (really? Throwing his own research back in his face? That's kind of douchey, even for a psycho serial killer..) Oh and he also calls Booth to taunt him, saying Booth 'crossed the line' for shooting him. Riiight... Because killing people and threatening others, that's totally fine. Jackass.
In the midst of all this stress, Brennan decides to make an important decision and asks Booth to marry her!!!! And he is terribly confused as to the suddenness (and why she decided to do such a dramatic gesture with a bag of beef jerky) but immediately agrees and I made a squealy noise - except for the fact that I'm incredibly worried about the whole serial-killer thing.

Ahh, so romantic... Although what do you give a man when a woman proposes??? Probably not a diamond ring..

Booth casually brings up the marriage thing while she and Cam and Angela are discussing the case, and when Booth tells Sweets about it, he has a hilarious reaction about 'not knowing how to react to that, but congratulations!'
Sweets also figures out that the shooter (who is not actually Pelant, he's sending a shooter around from his room full of screens where he's spying on everyone) was the child of an FBI agent who was killed during the raid. And one of them was the guy who we earlier saw that Pelant had turned himself into on a video. He was giving someone he called 'kiddo' directions for something, and now we know who - the daughter of an agent murdered was actually the girl that Booth spoke to at the second shooting! But he's already gone to meet her because she said she had more information - and no one can call Booth because the cell reception where he is has been blocked. DAMNIT PELANT!!!
Sweets was on his way there, but he too is stuck - in traffic because Pelant had hacked the traffic lights and created a traffic jam... I HATE HIM!!! The FBI gets to the girl's house and finds her computer so Angela analyses the video and figures out it's fake (Hodgins noticed a bird in the background that wouldn't have been native in the area when the father had been alive, and upon further analysis it became more obvious). She also cracks an encrypted e-mail that says 'Booth decoy target Sweets' and this was my reaction:

That much rage. White rage. So incredibly pissed.

HOW DARE HE GO AFTER MY DARLING SWEETS!!!!!!!! IF SOMEONE DOESN'T KILL THE BASTARD SOON, I WILL JUMP INTO MY TV AND KILL HIM MYSELF!!!! I might have actually screamed if my family wasn't sleeping.
The team is wary that this code might be a decoy, but Angela was brilliant about staying 'on the grid' because then when Pelant noticed that they had cracked his code, he hacked in himself and tried to change the message to show that Booth was the target.

The rest of them may all be Dr. this and doctor-that, but I swear Angela is the most clever of all of them!!

Meanwhile, Booth found a pay phone (brilliant!) and called the lab so they tell him that the witness is the real shooter, and that Sweets is the real target, so he runs to where Sweets is (over some cars, pissing off some drivers), and Bones runs in from the other direction, and the shooter is in the middle and right before she shoots, Booth shoots her, she falls, and Sweets hops out of the car and EVERYONE IS OKAY!!!! Well, the killer is injured, but that's better off than most bad people who end up on the wrong end of Booth's gun. I was so relived! NOBODY messes with my baby!!

Land lines!! Saving the day since 1876.

Then I realize there are about 10 minutes left in the episode, so something has to go wrong.. Crap. What goes wrong is this: Booth Brennan and Christine are at the park, when Booth gets a call from Pelant. Pelant says that he has to tell Bones that he can't marry her - without giving the real reason why - or else Pelant will kill five random people, who he then points out to Booth as various strangers in the park. He says that he knows Booth will 'do the right thing' rather than have five innocent people die, because remember, he's the expert on EVERYTHING, he's read Sweets' papers.  I am rolling my eyes.Then Booth says 'I will kill you' and hangs up, and I'm silently applauding.
Later at their house, Booth sits Brennan down and says he thinks getting married is something he just can't do, that they don't need to, because what they have is enough, and she laughs because she's glad he has finally come around to her side of things, says she only made the gesture because she knew it was what he wanted, and that it's fine, but then she brushes him off and when she leaves the room she starts crying.
And I know Pelant said 'if you tell her, I will know', but SERIOUSLY?!! He couldn't think of a way to possibly slip her a message where there are no cameras?? Good greif, he's not omnipresent!! Even if it does seem that way because he's a huge asshole creeper.
So that's that. I know I hate a cliffhanger, but I really prefer one where the characters are sad to onw where they might be dead. And at least Sweets, Cam, Hodgins, Angela, and the interns are fine (speaking of whom, why no squinterns this episode?). Aaand Pelant lives to piss me off for another season. CURSE YOU PELANT!!!!!!!

I hope you go blind in the other eye, you evil bastard!!!