SNL - Chris Rock

Apparently Chris Christie (Bobby) thinks of himself as a Kevin James-type. And apparently he's 'everywhere' *Cue shot of Emily looking behind the couch for him*

The first time I ever heard of Chris Rock was when he was in Madagascar... So every time I hear his voice, I see a zebra in my mind.

AFRO CIRCUS AFRO CIRCUS!!

Making Boston Marathon jokes, dude? Really? Who approved this monologue, exactly? (Also, the audience seems pretty uncomfortable too). And Twitter agrees.

Sasheer (a.k.a. Janelle) is making a dance tutorial video and Kyle is her adorably in-love-with-her friend... But she doesn't consider him a boy. Poor kid. This '15-year-old' is taller than her dad (Chris). And I think he was standing in the way because when Jay (her brother) came in the door you couldn't see him.. I've said this before, but Kyle playing a young kid is always adorable.

Fauxmercial for the GoPro... colonoscopy edition? Kyle, Beck and Taran are a bunch of 40+ extreme athletes talking about getting colonoscopies. It's so weird.

Technology has come a long way.

 Woody Harrelson is hosting in 2 weeks! I have a theory that he's just Matthew McConaughey from the future who invented a time machine and sent himself back in time. Also, I've been watching Cheers lately, so that's a nice coincidence.

Since the host is a black guy, they're doing that talk-show sketch where Keenan interviews black people on how they think Obama is doing. Also why do white people like kissing their dogs on the lips??? And they're still talking about that dude who ran into the White House. I'm glad, because that was just ridiculous.

To be perfectly honest, I don't like Price that much just on principle - he's always been such an ass to Weird Al Yankovic, and I mean COME ON IT'S WEIRD AL!!! You can't hate Al!!  Also I think he (Prince) tries too hard to be 'different'. Changing his name to that symbol thing... Why are you wearing three-lens sunglasses, dude?? You do not have another eye on your forehead!!
Weird Al totally gets him back though.. About halfway through this awesome song: 

SNL is giving Prince a longer-than-normal chunk of time to perform. So I'm taking this opportunity to mute the TV and listen to some Weird Al. Priorities.

Side note: remember that guy Hozier who was the musical guest when Bill Hader hosted? I'm still obsessed with that song he performed. It's called 'Take Me To Church'. So thanks for that one, SNL!

UPDATE!! Michael really likes the new Pope and so do I! But for different reasons.
Pete is back! As the 'resident young person'! Aaaaand... talking about his dick. Sending pictures of said dick to his mother. Oh good grief. She must be so proud. And then he mentioned his dad coming back, as a joke... Who died in 9/11... That's just awkward. Especially considering the 9/11 jokes in the monologue. What the hell is up with this??
Michael flubbed a joke, but then recovered very well!

Also he apparently only voted for Mayor Bill DeBlasio because he liked his son's afro. That's good a reason as any!

Jay Pharaoh is wonderful at everything he does. How has that man not been nominated for an Emmy by now??

I didn't know who Katt Williams was when I first saw this impression, but now I do and it's spot-on.

The Shark Tank sketch is back and... Good greif! They're asking for money for ISIS, what the hell? And Chris Rock has roped my boy Kyle into this offensive crap, too! WHY?! (Although they did point out that the whole ISIS/ISIL thing is confusing). But then they turned them over to the Secret Service, so... I guess it's all ok now?

Apparently, realizing you like Taylor Swift is the leading cause of vertigo in adults. She even got Leslie!! This is very dangerous!! (But luckily, there's now a pill for that).

Beck as a doctor reminds me of Chris Parnell as Dr. Spaceman from 30 Rock.

I'm so confused by this next sketch, it's basically Chris and Leslie as a married couple getting ready to go out (and being driven by Uber) and fighting a whole bunch... Apparently Sasheer is their daughter. And at one point, I think there was a mix-up with the cue cards cos Leslie just walked away and then came back for no reason, stared off to the side for a minute looking confused and then there was shuffling and then they resumed. Awkward.

The next bit is a pre-taped bank robbery scene that's really intense and totally looks like something out of Criminal Minds or something. Kyle has a man-bun! But the robbers (Kyle, Bobby, and Beck) are all super considerate of everyone and this is actually hilarious. Their dramatic acting is totally convincing and intimidating and then they flip around to being super-nice and that sketch was A-plus. Well done.

Cecily and Kate now acting as women from the eighties teaching an instructional video on dealing with diversity in the workplace. I've definitely never heard the phrase 'diverse person' before. Cecily's voice is hilarious. BTW, apparently the solution is to 'out-diverse' people. Cos that's a thing.

Well that's it for this week! Best part - no second Prince performance! I'm kidding - the best part was definitely that bank robber sketch. For those of you who missed the Bill Hader/Hozier episode, it's on as a rerun next week! WATCH IT! It was great!!