Saturday Night Live - Chris Pratt

The 40th season of SNL is starting tonight, and I couldn't be more excited!!! Partly because Chris Pratt is hosting, partly because season premieres are awesome, partly because SNL season premieres usually include a lot of cameos (like maybe by former SNL cast members?? We can only hope!) and partly because they just hired Michael Che to be the new Weekend Update anchor, and I really liked him on The Daily Show so I'm pumped to see him here!

Also announced recently, Keenan Thompson is leaving at the end of this season. He's been on the show for eleven years, which makes him the current cast member who's been there the longest, and while I've always liked him (in particular the recurring What's Up With That? and 'Scared Straight' sketches, and his Update character Jean K. Jean), he was always kind of on the edge of my radar and never really one of my favourites. But this week I read this article and it reminded me of one of the best things about Keenan - his reactions. Whether looking repulsed, astonished, or just confused, his facial expressions are always hilarious. And I'll miss them. So let's appreciate them while he's still around!

We begin with Keenan playing a football player who beats children and is on a talk show and thinks that we all need to hear that 'school buses are yellow'. Also Jay drinks Bud Light Lime. Chris Pratt plays Roger Goodell and is typically unclear on his stance on things. (But it's interesting that they put him in the cold open, that doesn't happen very often) Aidy gets the opening and away we go!

Don Pardo was a legend and as funny as Darrell Hammond is, his opening narration leaves something to be desired. He's not very emphatic. They only hired two new people since last season - the aforementioned Che, and a 20-year old named Pete Davidson. I repeat, SNL has a featured player who is younger than me. What am I doing with my life?

Chris Pratt just pulled out a guitar. If he can sing, I might just faint. *passes out*

Famous Person Cameo #1: Anna Faris (Chris' wife) in the audience during his monologue

 

She's not embarrassed... Is she?

Apparently middle-aged people new need to get turnt in order to sleep with their wives/husbands - so there's a pill for that. And they're really milking that whole Lil Jon featuring in a Lonely-Island-song-thing, aren't they?

Poor Kyle always gets cast as a little kid. He's hella adorable though. Aaaaand Chris Pratt is He-Man and only wearing half a shirt and a unitard. Apparently toys, when brought to life, start destroying houses and lusting after children's sisters. Now you know. I feel really bad for whoever has to clean up these sets. Famous Person Cameo # 1 1/2: They put Ariana Grande (tonight's musical guest) in a sketch.

CAKE.

This is a recurring sketch about a bunch of weird accent-having vet-office staff (Cecily, Chris, and Kate) who tell everyone in their waiting room that their pets are dead. They've done this sketch before... It might have been when Josh Hutcherson hosted? Can't remember.

Next they mock Guardians of the Galaxy and just say that Marvel is making a bunch of random movies with a bunch of randoms - including 'fancy ghosts' and a bunch of shopping carts. And Star Wars. Chris Pratt was wearing a Princess Leia costume, so that was pretty interesting.

You're welcome.

C'mon, I would totally see that movie.

Ariana Grande is up next, aaaand mute. She's adorable, and you can't deny that the girl's got range, but about 60% of the time, it sounds like she's singing through her upper nose, and it just drives me nuts. Sorry. Also what's with the fuzzy cat ears?

UPDATE TIIIME!!!! Aww poor Michael tripped over his first joke - but he laughed through it, so he's ok! And the background is new. It's different. I don't like it. Put it back.

HELL YES!!!! Ok when they announced last year that Cecily was talking over Weekend Update I was disappointed that That Girl You Wish You Hadn't Started a Conversation With At A Party wouldn't be around anymore. And now that Cecily's back to the regular cast - HERE SHE IS!!!! "If Neil Degrasse Tyson is so smart, why'd he bite that guy's ear off?" I AM DYING OF LAUGHTER OVER HERE. Someone send an ambulance.

I'm clearly going to the wrong kinds of parties. I've never met a girl like this.
And I love that she always made Seth laugh.

OK hold up a second. TGYWYHSACWAAP just asked Michael if he had a crush on anyone and he said there was a girl named Jessica... COULD HE POSSIBLY MEAN JESSICA WILLIAMS???!!! AS IN HIS FORMER COWORKER AT THE DAILY SHOW???!!!!

THIS JESSICA????!!!!!!

I ship it. Their babies would be hilarious.

Famous Person Cameo #2: Leslie Jones (comedian/one of the SNL writers) is a correspondent about being single - let's hear it for the loneliness!! She also hits on Colin - who I must admit is adorable, and slightly less stiff this season. Bravo Colin.

Finally, Pete the new kid shows up, as the 'resident young person' on the cast. He looks a tiny bit like Andy Samberg... Which is interesting. I miss Andy. (Casual reminder - Brooklyn 99 is back this Sunday at 8:30 on Fox). Now Keenan came out and they're singing encouragement to President Obama. Along the lines of 'Ooooh child, things are probably gonna get not worse'.

Colin is drumming and bringing the cuteness.Michael looks like he's conducting an orchestra.

Side note: bless SNL for being the only show I've ever seen to live-tweet screenshots. Makes my job a lot easier.
 
Apparently the only thing you need to do to learn how to flirt with someone is watch a lot of music videos. This has lead to Aidy Bryant singing 'Anadonda' by Nicki Minaj, which is weird. And Chris Pratt just rapped. Chris. Pratt. Just. Rapped. And as a side note, one of the girls in this sketch is named Alberta. Canadian provinces make for great baby names. For the love of god, stop talking about your ass, Aidy!

I do not understand this next sketch. Apparently it's supposed to be like a sitcom? And Chris is having issues making friends so he hangs out with a biker gang of rebellious 9-year olds, who start corrupting him. Apparently you can now call parks to see if they're closed. Kyle and Beck play his roommates - and none of them use any kind of inflection in this sketch whatsoever. "This is a fight" Chris says, walking out of the room. Thanks for letting me know, bud.

I am vaguely reminded of this Key and Peele sketch by the next bit - but instead of having ridiculous names, they all have weird criminal records. And they pulled out Colin for this one! As well as Leslie! The one player says 'I hit my wife' and then she's the next one and goes 'I'm his wife - I hit his ass back!'. The other offenses were funny.

Just in case you wanted to know what these two looked like not wearing suits or behind a desk.

OK Ariana is performing again so I wasn't really paying attention, but then I glanced back up and - who on earth is this dude and what the hell does he have on his head???

Now there are some people (Bobby, Sasheer and Pete) testing a children's video game in which painfully coloured and cheerful characters (Vanessa and Chris) tell you to put together a puzzle and then they make out. This is really awkward considering Chris' wife is in the audience... And Taran is the video game designer who, of course, sees nothing wrong with this idea.

You can't un-see this. I'm sorry.

Holy crap Pete's tall. He's pretty much the same height as Chris, who is 6'2 according to IMDb.

So that's it for tonight! I don't know why, but all the sketches seemed a little short tonight.. Although maybe that was just because I am really tired and therefore time seems inconsistent to me. Who knows. It wasn't their best episode, but it wasn't their worst. I like Michael and Colin together (except for that damn background!) and I'm really glad to see the return of That Girl You Wish You Hadn't... etc. !!! What did you think of the new Update Team? What was your favourite sketch/least favourite sketch? Leave me a comment!!