NCIS: LA - Angels & Daemons

Callen's girlfriend Joelle isn't his girlfriend anymore, and she has another boyfriend ALREADY?! So naturally, Callen decides to run a background check on the guy... Also Sam is grumpy cos Callen ducked out of their carpool.

Have I told you recently that I love Eric's hair? Cos I love Eric's hair.

Tres chic, Mr. Beale.

There was a dead guy found in the marina, who wrote a book, that Sam read, (listened to) and also he was the head of a tech firm at some point and made a lot of moolah. His name was Overson, and his former partner in the tech company sued him and got no money, so now he's living in his car.

Nell doesn't like boats, neither do I. She goes to investigate Overson's boat with Kensi and Deeks, gets in some sass while she's at it. OK so Deeks made a clever joke about mishearing 'Silicon Beach' as 'Silicone' but when Kensi corrects him, she stresses the 'beach' part - twice. That's not the part he got wrong, girl. Strange choice of emphasis.

Apparently Overson was interested in backing an app that allows the anonymous posting of secrets (basically like Whisper, that stupid app that Buzzfeed keeps pushing on us).

Yup.

The girl at the company teared up when Kensi told her about Overson dying - I think they were more than coworkers...

Something something, they find the Powell guy who was supposed to be living in his car, something something, holy crap it's only 10:17??

Sam can maybe read minds and then guesses the colour Callen was thinking of. It was blue. Funny, I would have guessed gray. Callen likes gray. But he does wear an awful lot of blue (probably because it sets off his eyes!)

There's a secret code that Overson found embedded in one of the apps he was supporting, that somehow compromised national security (don't they always). This is the thing called the 'daemon' - hence the episode title.

It's the Flibbit (mock-Whisper) app that it was hidden in! The one with the redhead girl who was crying earlier. Someone needs to go undercover. That sounds exciting! Eric wants it to be him, but boo, it has to be Callen. Undercover Eric might have been fun. Kind of an adorable Chuck-esque type of flustered? Man, I miss Chuck.

Nell can be Sarah.

The lighting in Ops makes Eric's hair look green. Weird.

Sam tries to relate to the redheaded girl Jessica, about how they're both often overlooked (her cos she's female, Sam cos he's a racial minority). Callen loves the slide at the company. I could never use a slide at work - it would mess up my nice work clothes. You think they could ask for a slide at Ops? Actually, Granger would never allow it. It's a fun thing. Granger hates fun.

Kensi and Deeks go to talk to Powell's lawyer, but right before they reach him (they weren't hurrying, they were talking about puppies), he gets shot. Sniper-style.

Guns! Shooting! Excitement! 

Nell figures out that the shot came from the building that houses the Flibbit app office. Well isn't that convenient! The security guard gets in a fight with Sam, then he says that the programmer guy is a Palestinian cyberterrorist. But Callen was with him the whole time. It's a different person, a girl, who we've never even met. Also Deeks uses the word 'keytar'. 

Clearly, only psychopaths play the keytar. 

Also I'm pretty sure senators have better things to do than be on a stupid secret sharing app like this. At least I would hope so. 

Wow, they really got their money's worth out of that slide in this episode, didn't they? Turns out the lawyer sold the daemon to the bad guys who were Pakistani terrorists. There were three of them working at the app company - but none of them killed Overson. It was Powell. 

Callen had bought a ring for Joelle? Oh, poor sad Callen. Or maybe not. I can't tell. He's a good liar. 

Bones - The Loyalty in the Lie

Bones premiere time!!!
The last time this happened, you bastards ripped my heart in  two, so let's not have that happen again, shall we??

I still miss you, Sweets

Brennan had her baby, a little boy named Hank, and he's precious of course. Their genes would make the most adorable children ever. Hank's also wearing a Flyers onesie and HAHAHA this just happened:

@David_Boreanaz And the #Flyers are big Hank Booth fans. (And we guess Seeley Booth too...)

— Philadelphia Flyers (@NHLFlyers) October 2, 2015

Cam's hair is long again, and she's considering hiring Arastoo as the replacement for Brennan. But oh dear, can you say conflict of interest??

They find a body with a gun burned into it, after someone set a van on fire. And Angela is freaking out because the gun belonged to Booth and that theoretically means the body is Booth and MY GOD WHAT DID I JUST SAY ABOUT NOT HURTING ME DEEPLY

Just kidding, Emily Deschanel tweeted this photo of a Booth hospital bracelet so he's not dead. But he's still missing. And his wedding ring was found at the house - in the box where his gun should be, but isn't. So something hinky is going on here. Seems kinda early for a lengthy montage interspersed with flashbacks, but there it is...

Brennan runs into the room and says "It's not Booth!" But we knew that already... And so she uses that moment to look down on Arastoo because he missed the lack of an injury that indicated it wasn't Booth. And I also think this is the first time I've heard her refer to him as 'my husband' so many times in one scene.

Aubrey has sprouted a backbone and nearly bites the head off of some Internal Investigations lady who comes in referring to the missing man Booth as 'a suspect'. Uhh... It's not possible that the dead guy could have stolen Booth's gun? Or that Booth gave it to him for protection??

Same woman is now taking Brennan on, and I hate making this generalization when meeting a new female character, but OH MY GOD SHE'S SUCH A BITCH (who is just doing her job BUT IN THE MOST BITCHY LEAST SENSITIVE MANNER POSSIBLE)

Oh my god the dead body is Jared.. As in Jared Booth. Which makes me sad, because I really liked him and wanted him to come back at some point buuuut I guess that ain't gonna happen. Also explains why Booth would have given him his gun.

Oh Jared. We hardly knew ye. 

Someone sent Booth a Boy-Scout coded message that Aubrey translates to 'GO' from a burner cell, that was bought by Jared. Wow, they managed to get back the actress who played his wife after all that time, only for her to be throwing rudeness in all directions - but her I will let off the hook because she just found out her husband was killed. This is mourning rudeness.

Arastoo was going to propose to Cam, Angela found out, but he was embarrassed after missing important things in the case, so he thinks she'll say no, but then she accidentally sees the ring box and so he shows her the ring but doesn't ask anyways, and then Hodgins walks in and thinks he's proposed but they have to correct that assumption and he just leaves all awkwardly. Ah, classic Bones.

Oooooh, preeeeetttty

Aubrey and the II lady go to interview one of Jared's army buddies, who tells her "I resent you putting your garbage assumptions on him." GOOD FOR YOU SIR.

Stereotypical scene of Brennan looking into her old office with a longing face, and Angela bringing her yogurt (because that's what women eat when they're sad, right??) and them discussing Booth which then cuts away to a shot of Booth lying bleeding (from a gunshot wound?) in an alley.

David Boreanaz has been sharing hilarious 'theories' on what happened to Booth on Twitter

Booth is off looking for his socks! The sock thief ...

— David Boreanaz (@David_Boreanaz) October 2, 2015

Booth is off writing the great American Novel

— David Boreanaz (@David_Boreanaz) October 2, 2015

Booth fell out of the car on the freeway and he's bleeding out! Need gauze

— David Boreanaz (@David_Boreanaz) October 2, 2015

All their evidence leads them to a giant fancy mansion-type house where they go in with a SWAT team and then, even though the majority of the house is pristine, there's a room with 3 or 4 guys all shot dead inside it, and blood everywhere. Oh dear. None of them is Booth, but I'm SUUUUURE stupid II lady will want to keep calling him a 'suspect' again.

So it was a robbery gone wrong, and the lady said "we will get who ever is behind this. And one of them is Booth." Aubrey did that clenched-jaw thing he does that's kinda hot but also makes him look like he's about to smack someone.

BTW it should be mentioned that Caroline is back and I love her so much, She did some digging on Agent Miller (from II) and her partner had also gone missing - a fact she seemed happy to leave out.

It was a 5-man team who broke in, and they stole about 2 million dollars. But now they've figured out that Booth has been hurt and is bleeding and needs help. Somehow he managed to find a bathroom and he's cleaning himself up, but is clearly in a lot of pain - and with some unsavoury characters. Also with Jared's army buddy who Aubrey interviewed earlier. And a looooot of money.

Aaaaaaand 'To be continued.'
RUDE!!!

One more time for me, Jon... 

Bonus: This happened during the West Coast airing of the show. I love those two

@David_Boreanaz I thought you would know. #checkingthesubshop

— John Boyd (@johnny_boyd) October 2, 2015

NCIS: LA - Citadel

I will admit, my new school schedule wherein I don't have class on Mondays or Fridays has really messed with my sense of time - as in, I never know what day of the week it is. Having said that, I very well might have forgotten to watch tonight's TV shows regardless, because instead I was watching a man do this:

It's a bird! It's a plane! No! IT'S SUPER-PILLAR!!!

But I digress. 

Oh hey, Talia's back! I still really want to go watch The Finder every time I see this actress (it's on Netflix, I highly recommend) but I know that will make me sad because 1) Michael Clarke Duncan is dead and 2) that brilliant show was cancelled after one season and that's a bummer. Anyway.

Her partner is a traitor and she's mad at him and he's trying to plead with her, but she's having none of it. Apparently he was blackmailed/extorted/coerced somehow to do it, and then a cop barges in and shoots the guy, and she shoots said cop. That was interesting. 

Deeks' house is having plumbing issues, and Kensi is bragging about things that she's eaten at an expensive restaurant, and then he has something to say about it that involves proposals and her face goes all bug-eyed. 

Kinda like this, but with less eye-rubbing.

Some security firm (named Citadel - roll credits!) had investigated the cop who shot Talia's partner, as well as the partner, and Deeks. Talia is antagonistic, as per usual, and her house is practically empty. Which is a good thing, because then it gets all shot full of bullets - how convenient that this happened right after Deeks and Kensi arrived. Timing! 

Eric and Nell hacked the system of the supposedly 'impenetrable' security firm. Good thing they work for the good guys, eh? Sam utters the phrase 'deja vu all over again' and I'm reminded of Yogi Berra and that makes me sad. 

Deeks and Kensi and Talia go to visit the partner's wife - who is named Emily! - and he starts talking about compartmentalizing personal and life stress, and jealousy over Talia, and that's just awkward. 

Callen ends up agreeing to fail the test to get Citadel approval, and he freaks out while in a dark room with electrodes attached to his head. 

Am I wrong in saying this looks like a sci-fi movie?!!

Sam passes the test and gets taken into a room with a nice smiley lady, while Callen goes into a weird cabinet-filled room with a steely-eyed creepy dude named Bennett who promises to pass him in exchange for 'I might ask you for a favour in the future'. Callen takes him down and says, somehow in an incredibly enticing way "Would you like to see how dangerous I am?" To which the dude just says "Not the face!"

Callen pulls a fire alarm, and for a highly secure evil company, the oldest trick in the book seems to work really well. But all they did was leave with the Bennett guy. Not sure why they needed a ruse for that, it's not like they needed people to leave so they could snoop around. 

His information was a DEA informant list and it was really really well hidden and being sold to a cartel. So they sorted the people they tested into 'good guys', failures and 'evil people'. And they asked the 'evil people' to do their dirty work. 

Deeks randomly staring at a lady's shoes and recognizing that they're really expensive = kinda creepy. Also, nice car name-drop in there. I hear you, Prius. But OH MAN he ruined the shoes in finding that thumb drive that her husband had hidden. 

Now I'm just thinking about shoes...

I might be getting sleepy now, because I'm finding it hard to concentrate on the big-bad complicated plot right now. 

So the smiley lady from earlier is really evil too, and she's the head of the whole program. Deeks refuses to go undercover with Kensi, and wants Talia to go with him. Kensi instead has to be a sniper and protect the two of them while they're carrying out the plan. 

Sam gives Kensi a pep talk that ends with the phrase 'more being less doing'. I'm sure it was very inspirational and all, but there I go getting distracted again. Bad Emily. 

We were just gifted with Callen in a hot-dog patterned bucket hat. You're welcome, world. Kensi carries on some profiling trying to figure out who the shooter in the crowd is. Talia is holding Deeks' hand and trying to use coupley-ness as their cover story, as they discuss the mission OUT LOUD and IN PUBLIC. I feel like that's not smart! 

The evil lady says she knew that Deeks would betray the LAPD and he gets all squirmy. Then Bennett gets sniped and evil lady just strolls off like it's no big deal. Callen and Sam and Deeks and Kensi can't for the life of them find the sniper, which is just not helpful. And then all the sketchy white men with coats & sunglasses that Kensi profiled earlier actually pull guns out and they take those guys down - I forgot that this is a TV show, and therefore the criminals actually all look the same. But the evil lady gets away. 

Or not... Because she tries using her phone back at her office, and it doesn't work, and then Hetty shows up all sneaky-like. Evil lady says she'd run a test on Hetty back in the day and she'd failed, but Hetty just does that little 'I'm smarter than you' speech she does and says that that was only 'whoever she felt like being that day'. Goddamnit I love Hetty. 

"But.. But... it's IMPOSSIBLE to outsmart the HL7 protocol!" Spare me the gobbledegook, lady, this is Hetty Freakin' Lange you're talking to. 

HOLY DAMN SHE WAS THE ONE WHO INVENTED THE TEST THAT'S WHAT THE HL STANDS FOR. THIS WOMAN, I SWEAR. 

*Continues to be a badass*

And Talia kisses Deeks RIGHT in front of Kensi. The stones on this one! 

I don't get why they make such a big deal out of Callen cutting his hair every season - Deeks' hair is waaaay longer, and so is Eric's, although he isn't a field agent. Hetty just likes things a certain way, I guess. 

Deeks' mom is actually who was at his house, and he brings Kensi home to meet her. And she approves of Kensi! Awww... But let's be honest, who wouldn't. Kensi rocks. 

NCIS: LA - Active Measures

I don't think I ever paid attention to the title format of this show, what with the colon before the name of the city. I think I just kind of assumed it was like the CSI title format - and it is!

Sorry this is later than usual, as I explained in my Big Bang Theory post from last night, I was watching baseball because the BLUE JAYS RULE. TV premiere night is usually my favourite night of the fall season (my birthday being a close second) but meaningful September baseball is so damn exciting/stressful, especially tonight's game. It won't happen again (it totally might happen again).

If you need a refresher on what happened in the season finale (I know I did) you can find my blog with that recap over here . Now, on with the show!

Callen is walking in a dark alley (side note - the beard is back!) when he comes across a mysterious stranger with a gun - only it's not a stranger, it's Sam! And Sam shoots someone else who looks mysterious and sketchy, and was apparently following Callen.

Kensi and Deeks are running/biking along the beach, he looks like every adorably backwards-hatted frat boy ever. All these random girls keep saying hi to him, as he's convincing Kensi to eat breakfast. Because it's the most important meal of the day! I never miss breakfast! It's an excuse to eat sweet things or bacon or bacon AND sweet things!

*Drools*

But it's cute because Deeks says he loves her and she loves him too and AWWWWWWWWWWW

Callen's taken off on Hetty, without her permission, and slammed the door - rude! You don't slam doors on Hetty Lange! He was doing something on a Chinese computer when she just casually showed up at his house.

Granger doesn't look worried, he looks annoyed. He says Sam wouldn't like to see him when he's angry. I'm guessing Granger has the same range of emotions as Darth Vader:

Eric should not be trusted with a gun, I have the feeling he's going to hurt himself... Sam wants him to keep tabs on Callen, which is sketchy and a little creepy.

The guy who Callen was meeting was Kensi's old pal CIA officer Sabatino. And Callen has gone 100% off the grid. Hetty is worried and kind of sad (because she has facial expressions).

Callen needs to check on the guy Kirken who Deeks helped fake his death last season (remember. the one in the bathhouse?). He said he'd help Callen if Callen steals a painting for him. Granger meets with Sabatino, who says that Callen was asking about Arkady and the dead guy was a bad guy and had actually been following Sabatino.

Funny enough Deeks was what Kirken had asked for initially when making the deal with Callen... But Deeks refuses to go back to the bathhouse. Not that I blame him. That did not look like a good time.

Callen uses some kind of drone to spy on Kirken, which is incredibly convenient because there's a lawnmower going nearby to drown it out. That thing is noisy. Sam breaks into Callen's house, like any good friend would, and talks to him via the security camera, asking him to come back or at least let him in.

Kensi and Deeks have one of those ambiguous conversations that basically goes like this:
"What's bothering you"
"Things"
"What things"
"I don't know"
"Tell me the things"
"I can't"
"Why not?"
"Because I don't think I know them"

He'd seen someone from IA snooping around in his garbage, and also tells her a story about his first day on the job he was paired with an old-school guy who had interrogation methods of questionable legality. Said guy had also shoved his gun in Deeks' mouth for reporting him. Yikes. And then Granger interrupts that conversation (as he does) to get them all back to Ops.

Sam agrees to try to track Callen down, Eric becomes paranoid and thinks Callen has 'snapped' and gone rogue. And then he starts listing movies, because clearly that sounds logical. Sam mocks him by going along with it and then exaggerating so as to make the theory sound ridiculous.

It's ok Eric, I know another adorable nerd who'd be happy to go along with your conspiracy...

OH MY GOD

Hetty just straight-up tasered him!! I knew something was up when she was holding her hands behind her back when she confronted him in that parking lot. But to tase the guy?! Somehow he manages to get up and run away in spite of the tasing, and runs into - you guessed it- Sam.

"I'm working the streets"

"You look like the streets are working you"

A+ banter from Sam in a tense situation. But then he just lets him go! I don't get this, Sam still doesn't know what Callen's doing, or why, or the fact that he'll be ok. 

Hetty and Sam get into an argument and she tells him to 'step off' and in that moment I believed that she could seriously kick his ass. She also told Granger she 'doesn't need any damn tea'. GO HETTY!!! Some typical Nellric awkwardness when they're like the kids trying to sneak away from the table during a fight without finishing their vegetables, and their dad Granger calls them back down. Sorry, guys. Nice try, though. 

Sam gets a big grin on his face and drops the bomb - he put a tracking device on Callen. Clever man!

Callen should not wear hats. They do not look good on him. Somehow he changed the temperature in the other Russian guy's house remotely - I have no clue what this has to do with the whole painting-stealing plan - and he breaks in and takes it. Suddenly Kirken and his goons appear out of nowhere and point guns at Callen. They were planning to take him hostage because someone else wanted him in exchange for the painting. But the team showed up in time and no one got shot or kidnapped or anything. 

Callen knew the whole time that Sam was tracking him, Sam doesn't believe this, and I think I detected some Granger sarcasm! 

I agree, Granger. 

Sam and Hetty made up, she forgives him for not following orders. They hug and Deeks gets inappropriate thoughts that cause Kensi (and me) to cringe. 

Hetty gives Callen a list of Kirken's contacts, and then threatens to fire him if he goes behind her back again. I still don't get why he had to keep all of them out of it... But oh well he's back and everyone's safe and it's all good. Yay!

NCIS: LA - Leipei

OK so here's a suggestion - if a little airplaney thing is coming straight at your window at a high speed - maybe don't just sit and stare at it an amused/curious manner... Not that all of them are full of explosives, but I'm sure they'd hurt at least a little if they hit you.

Monty has anxiety issues (or he just liked to pee in private, we're not sure) and nobody ever listens to poor Eric. Nell and Eric begin talking in hashtags and Granger gets grumpy about it. Because he's old. Or not tech-savvy. Or he thought they were having fun and wanted them to cut that out. But Nell gets to go into the field! Yaaay!

I just realized - GRANGER IS GRUMPY CAT!!!!

The man who was killed was a known terrorist that was in witness protection, but then managed to escape witness protection, a fact Deeks and Hetty are both incredulous about. (Me too).

The woman who was there and happened to catch the explosion on camera happens to be married... awkward.

Sam is trying to be the best at everything, and Callen is questioning his tactics - like taking a magic class, which Sam passes off as 'Escaping restraints in stressful situations'.

Uh-oh... dead guy.

Callen, aren't you aware that the health-inspector thing never works when trying to investigate a restaurant?? And then he just keeps listing things - rodents in the kitchen area, insects in the refrigerator, etc. And then Sam (posing as a patron) freaks out and starts asking what kinds of rats they were (because that matters).

This totally looks like a man who would be afraid of rats.

OH MY GOD the guy they went to the restaurant to find is played by the dude who was Detective Vartann on CSI for years and years! So strange to see him with a Spanish accent.

Vartann! Would Catherine approve of your criminal activities?! I do not think so!!

Sam chases him down and fights him in a carwash - and I hope the government will pay for the windshield of that poor guy's car they broke. Sam eventually takes him down, but not before a) he gets hit with a can of Turtle Wax and b) Callen detains four people and then catches up.

The bad guy watches TMZ which is why he claims he came to LA, and he knows his rights because he also watches 'the Matlock'

Eric missed Nell 'every single solitary second' that she was gone. Awwwwe! He also said he owns her now, and therefore is lending her out to Callen & Sam - but she apparently didn't get the memo.

I'm sorry Eric, who exactly looks like they're in charge here?

Deeks and Kensi find evidence that someone was building a MUCH larger drone. Which is unfortunate. Because, as Deeks says (in a manner that would make Horatio Caine proud) "The question is... Who was he building it for?"

*Sunglasses* YEEAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!

 *Commercial* 

Man, I miss that show... 

Callen is having bad luck with his cover stories today - first the skepticism over the health department thing, then when he knocks on a door posing as a painter, the people in the house just run away. Looks like he could take some acting lessons from Eric...

I don't know if shooting at a drone full of explosives would be a really great idea... Although they are in the middle of an open area, I guess it'd minimize the casualties. And I'm sure Horatio would think that's a great idea - he'd make the shot, too.

Apparently the drone is heading for an oil refinery. And Eric states the obvious - if one oil container explodes, they all do - then he uses some history to demonstrate how that could be very bad for the people living in the area.

Basically.

Of course all bad guys drive giant boxy vans - but this one is surprisingly coloured (blue), rather than black or white. Typical smug criminal informs Callen that 'It's too late, the drone is on its way' then tells Callen to burn in hell and tries to shoot him. The tablet that controls the drone is busted, but Nell (ever the expert) walks Callen through how to control it. Eric panics.
And then the drone goes offline, comes back online but tries to hone in on the tablet, so he just CHUCKS it and dives out of the way.

After this experience, Sam is suddenly interested in buying a 'drone of our own'. But Callen hates robots, including Roombas. Which is silly, him being a bachelor and all - are you telling me you'd rather do all your own vacuuming, G?

And it'd be even more fun if he had a cat!

Hetty thinks Nell was very useful in this operation (and I concur) but she is wondering if Nell is still interested in being an undercover agent - Nell is sad because she's not big, or overwhelmingly athletic, or a good sniper (wait, are we talking about Nell or me here??). They drink whiskey and Hetty somehow relates that to her self-doubt. Everyone comes back and is proud of her, and then Eric gives her a little smile (from behind a pillar for some reason) and I melt a wee bit.

Eric's precious smile is precious.

But seriously, I hope this isn't foreshadowing that they're turning Nell into an agent - I couldn't handle her leaving Eric all alone at Ops with Granger! I would miss her 'every single solitary second' - and so would he!!!

[I only managed to make two TV references this week. Weak.]

Big Bang Theory - The First Pitch Insufficiency

Disclaimer: today I realized that I'm a bad fan because even though I own three Big Bang Theory-related T-shirts (and a Snuggie!) I let the season premiere pass me by without wearing any of them. I didn't wear my CSI shirt for their premiere last night, either. But tonight, order is restored, I'm wearing my 'Knock Knock Knock Penny!' shirt, and I'm ready to roll.

Also, we should send virtual fives to my Physiology prof, because he let the class go a half-hour early today, and therefore this blog didn't have to wait until tomorrow to be posted, because that class is gonna conflict with BBT until they switch back to Thursdays. Yaaaay.

In a weird coincidence, my roommates and I went to a Toronto Blue Jays game yesterday (they lost, but oh well), and now there's a baseball-themed BBT episode tonight. Just at the end of baseball season. Weird timing, guys. This really should have aired in the spring, but anyway... In a shocking turn of events, Howard has no athletic ability whatsoever.

Sheldon doesn't understand the difference between two dates and a 'double date'. And here's another freaky parallel between Bernadette and I, she used to play softball as a kid. I played for nine years. Only sport I'm even remotely fond of playing/remotely good at.

This was year three of nine. Look at those bangs!!

I don't buy this - apparently after nearly seven years, Penny doesn't know Sheldon's catchphrase. Granted, he didn't say it in season 1 (or maybe season 2? Can someone confirm this?) but she now thinks it's 'bazooka' for some reason. I call bullshit.

In Sheldon's mind, the ranking of the relationships in the group are:
1 - Him and Amy
2 - Howard and Bernadette
3 - Raj and whoever he's dating
4 - Penny and chardonnay (Amy points out that Penny actually drinks sauvignon blanc)
5 - Penny and Leonard.
Ouch.

They do make a cute couple. And that doesn't look like an anything-blanc to me.

I didn't know it was possible to be allergic to avocado. Apparently Amy is. And Sheldon has invented a scale on which to rate french fries. And there's an inventory to quantify the quality of relationships, which, naturally causes tension between Leonard and Penny.

When did Penny start wearing black-leather jackets?? And her hair is so flat that it looks like it's wet and sticking to her head. Emily no likey.

Also, astronaut guy is missing the key fact that it's HARDER to throw things in zero gravity. Yaaaay physics.

OK regarding the baseball game they all go to:
1 - The person throwing the first pitch doesn't get to make a speech first.
2 - The LA Angels (of Anaheim) are in a city nearly an hour outside of LA (longer with the LA traffic). That's like putting the New York Yankees in New Brunswick, New Jersey. 
3 - Proud Toronto fan braggy-moment - Angels Stadium hasn't got shit on the Skydome.

Does YOUR stadium have a majestic opening/closing roof and a view of the CN Tower?? DOES IT??

Howard is an idiot and didn't think this through. 
Aaaaand my supposedly-superior digital cable just cut out. Shit. I'm just gonna assume he keeps getting booed. Back after commercial break and he's still getting booed. Yaaaay predictable plot lines.
That's all for tonight! Who's your favourite BBT couple? Mine is still Penny and that wine.
I'll be back later tonight posting about the season premiere of NCIS: Los Angeles. Stay tuned for that!

Saturday Night Live - Chris Pratt

The 40th season of SNL is starting tonight, and I couldn't be more excited!!! Partly because Chris Pratt is hosting, partly because season premieres are awesome, partly because SNL season premieres usually include a lot of cameos (like maybe by former SNL cast members?? We can only hope!) and partly because they just hired Michael Che to be the new Weekend Update anchor, and I really liked him on The Daily Show so I'm pumped to see him here!

Also announced recently, Keenan Thompson is leaving at the end of this season. He's been on the show for eleven years, which makes him the current cast member who's been there the longest, and while I've always liked him (in particular the recurring What's Up With That? and 'Scared Straight' sketches, and his Update character Jean K. Jean), he was always kind of on the edge of my radar and never really one of my favourites. But this week I read this article and it reminded me of one of the best things about Keenan - his reactions. Whether looking repulsed, astonished, or just confused, his facial expressions are always hilarious. And I'll miss them. So let's appreciate them while he's still around!

We begin with Keenan playing a football player who beats children and is on a talk show and thinks that we all need to hear that 'school buses are yellow'. Also Jay drinks Bud Light Lime. Chris Pratt plays Roger Goodell and is typically unclear on his stance on things. (But it's interesting that they put him in the cold open, that doesn't happen very often) Aidy gets the opening and away we go!

Don Pardo was a legend and as funny as Darrell Hammond is, his opening narration leaves something to be desired. He's not very emphatic. They only hired two new people since last season - the aforementioned Che, and a 20-year old named Pete Davidson. I repeat, SNL has a featured player who is younger than me. What am I doing with my life?

Chris Pratt just pulled out a guitar. If he can sing, I might just faint. *passes out*

Famous Person Cameo #1: Anna Faris (Chris' wife) in the audience during his monologue

 

She's not embarrassed... Is she?

Apparently middle-aged people new need to get turnt in order to sleep with their wives/husbands - so there's a pill for that. And they're really milking that whole Lil Jon featuring in a Lonely-Island-song-thing, aren't they?

Poor Kyle always gets cast as a little kid. He's hella adorable though. Aaaaand Chris Pratt is He-Man and only wearing half a shirt and a unitard. Apparently toys, when brought to life, start destroying houses and lusting after children's sisters. Now you know. I feel really bad for whoever has to clean up these sets. Famous Person Cameo # 1 1/2: They put Ariana Grande (tonight's musical guest) in a sketch.

CAKE.

This is a recurring sketch about a bunch of weird accent-having vet-office staff (Cecily, Chris, and Kate) who tell everyone in their waiting room that their pets are dead. They've done this sketch before... It might have been when Josh Hutcherson hosted? Can't remember.

Next they mock Guardians of the Galaxy and just say that Marvel is making a bunch of random movies with a bunch of randoms - including 'fancy ghosts' and a bunch of shopping carts. And Star Wars. Chris Pratt was wearing a Princess Leia costume, so that was pretty interesting.

You're welcome.

C'mon, I would totally see that movie.

Ariana Grande is up next, aaaand mute. She's adorable, and you can't deny that the girl's got range, but about 60% of the time, it sounds like she's singing through her upper nose, and it just drives me nuts. Sorry. Also what's with the fuzzy cat ears?

UPDATE TIIIME!!!! Aww poor Michael tripped over his first joke - but he laughed through it, so he's ok! And the background is new. It's different. I don't like it. Put it back.

HELL YES!!!! Ok when they announced last year that Cecily was talking over Weekend Update I was disappointed that That Girl You Wish You Hadn't Started a Conversation With At A Party wouldn't be around anymore. And now that Cecily's back to the regular cast - HERE SHE IS!!!! "If Neil Degrasse Tyson is so smart, why'd he bite that guy's ear off?" I AM DYING OF LAUGHTER OVER HERE. Someone send an ambulance.

I'm clearly going to the wrong kinds of parties. I've never met a girl like this.
And I love that she always made Seth laugh.

OK hold up a second. TGYWYHSACWAAP just asked Michael if he had a crush on anyone and he said there was a girl named Jessica... COULD HE POSSIBLY MEAN JESSICA WILLIAMS???!!! AS IN HIS FORMER COWORKER AT THE DAILY SHOW???!!!!

THIS JESSICA????!!!!!!

I ship it. Their babies would be hilarious.

Famous Person Cameo #2: Leslie Jones (comedian/one of the SNL writers) is a correspondent about being single - let's hear it for the loneliness!! She also hits on Colin - who I must admit is adorable, and slightly less stiff this season. Bravo Colin.

Finally, Pete the new kid shows up, as the 'resident young person' on the cast. He looks a tiny bit like Andy Samberg... Which is interesting. I miss Andy. (Casual reminder - Brooklyn 99 is back this Sunday at 8:30 on Fox). Now Keenan came out and they're singing encouragement to President Obama. Along the lines of 'Ooooh child, things are probably gonna get not worse'.

Colin is drumming and bringing the cuteness.Michael looks like he's conducting an orchestra.

Side note: bless SNL for being the only show I've ever seen to live-tweet screenshots. Makes my job a lot easier.
 
Apparently the only thing you need to do to learn how to flirt with someone is watch a lot of music videos. This has lead to Aidy Bryant singing 'Anadonda' by Nicki Minaj, which is weird. And Chris Pratt just rapped. Chris. Pratt. Just. Rapped. And as a side note, one of the girls in this sketch is named Alberta. Canadian provinces make for great baby names. For the love of god, stop talking about your ass, Aidy!

I do not understand this next sketch. Apparently it's supposed to be like a sitcom? And Chris is having issues making friends so he hangs out with a biker gang of rebellious 9-year olds, who start corrupting him. Apparently you can now call parks to see if they're closed. Kyle and Beck play his roommates - and none of them use any kind of inflection in this sketch whatsoever. "This is a fight" Chris says, walking out of the room. Thanks for letting me know, bud.

I am vaguely reminded of this Key and Peele sketch by the next bit - but instead of having ridiculous names, they all have weird criminal records. And they pulled out Colin for this one! As well as Leslie! The one player says 'I hit my wife' and then she's the next one and goes 'I'm his wife - I hit his ass back!'. The other offenses were funny.

Just in case you wanted to know what these two looked like not wearing suits or behind a desk.

OK Ariana is performing again so I wasn't really paying attention, but then I glanced back up and - who on earth is this dude and what the hell does he have on his head???

Now there are some people (Bobby, Sasheer and Pete) testing a children's video game in which painfully coloured and cheerful characters (Vanessa and Chris) tell you to put together a puzzle and then they make out. This is really awkward considering Chris' wife is in the audience... And Taran is the video game designer who, of course, sees nothing wrong with this idea.

You can't un-see this. I'm sorry.

Holy crap Pete's tall. He's pretty much the same height as Chris, who is 6'2 according to IMDb.

So that's it for tonight! I don't know why, but all the sketches seemed a little short tonight.. Although maybe that was just because I am really tired and therefore time seems inconsistent to me. Who knows. It wasn't their best episode, but it wasn't their worst. I like Michael and Colin together (except for that damn background!) and I'm really glad to see the return of That Girl You Wish You Hadn't... etc. !!! What did you think of the new Update Team? What was your favourite sketch/least favourite sketch? Leave me a comment!!