HIMYM - catching up (eps 20-22)

Hey y'all, I've been super-busy with exams and whatnot, so it's been really hard to catch up on EVERYTHING, so here's what I'm doing - a short recap of every episode I've missed, all in one post. Here goes!!

The Time Travellers - Episode 20 (aired March 25th)
Barney is trying to convince Ted to go to Robots vs. Wrestlers, and Ted is reluctant, so they call in 20-years-from-now Barney and Ted, who look the EXACT same except they're wearing silver suits. And then 20-hours-from-now Ted comes in all hung over and weepy begging Ted not to do it.
Meanwhile, Marshall has invented a drink (and I'm not one for alcohol, but it sounds delicious, by the way) and Robin kept ordering them, so the bar named them after her and he's all jealous and challenges her to a dance battle.

I mean seriously. I'd drink that.

I would have loved to see that, but Lily thinks he's being silly and tells him not to do it. Boooo spoiling my fun... Anyways, then he goes and writes her (Robin's) name and number on the wall in the men's room.
She busts into the men's room and scribbles it out and then writes him a lengthy apology blaming her childhood for wanting attention, and while he's reading it, we flash back out to the Teds and Barneys at the table, who are then joined by 20-minutes-from-now Barney, who has a huge stain on his shirt. Current Barney gets spaghetti on his shirt. So now they match.
Back in the bathroom, the end of Robin's apology reads 'maybe I just wrote this so you'd stand there to read it long enough that a lady would walk in, causing you to freak out and hide in a stall.' Then a lady walks in, and he does - and written on the back of the stall is this: 'GOTCHA!! Signed, Robin, the creator of the Robin Sherbatsky' and a smiley face.

Kelso always says it best.

The Teds and Barneys at the table all look at the door when 20-minutes-from-now Barney tells them to, and in walks a girl! And open went my jaw!!! Because it's Jayma Mays, the woman who plays Emma Pilsbury on Glee, and who (for serious HIMYM followers) was the coat check girl at that noisy club the gang went to in season 1!!! That Ted talked to and really liked!! I mean, holy continuity, Batman!!! But everyone except for current Ted remembers her - even all the Barneys., which is weird considering he never remembers the women HE sleeps with, let alone random ones Ted chatted up that random night 7 years ago. Anyway.
Marshall scares a bunch of women in the bathroom and the bartender refers to a guy being creepy as 'pulling a Marshall Erickson' - and then Marshall doesn't know Carl's last name.
Ted goes to talk to coat-check girl, and then gets pulled aside by 2 copies of Coat-check-girl-20-months-from-now, one who he's gotten sick of, and one who's gotten sick of him. And that means it wouldn't have gone well. So she leaves. 
HAHAHAHAH then Robin and Marshall actually did a dance-off, after some ridiculously lame trash talk, including the following gems: 'You're gonna lose, because I'm Sparkles, bitch!' and 'Oh, you think you can step to me? Step up to the streets? Step up, over me, into the streets?' (from Robin and Marshall, respectively).
And then Barney tells Ted he was sitting there all alone because he's dwelling on the past. And now he tells his kids that if he had that night to do over again he would go tell his future wife the following:

There's more to the speech but it made me cry...

 And then her boyfriend shows up and punches him in the face. It's complicated. BUT THEN this moment happens, and as a Billy Joel fan, it made me SO HAPPY!!!!!

Bones - 'The Secret in the Seige' (season finale)

I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM OH MY GOD I HATE HIM!!!!!!
And by 'him' I mean Pelant, I mean in the history of all my years watching TV I have never hated a serial killer as much as I hate this one!!! Not only is he smug and arrogant, and an evil sonofabitch, but he frames Bones, tries to make Hodgins kill him, breaks into their homes, AND he makes it so they can't trust their own equipment!! I have to give the writers some serious props for this, but at the same time I HATE THEM SO MUCH FOR CREATING THIS SONOFABITCH!!!

At least he's hideously deformed and blind in one eye now... If only he'd go out in public he'd be easy to find...

So a bunch of FBI agents have been killed, they were all linked because they were a part of this big, deadly compound siege that Booth was also a part of. They, naturally, assume that Booth is the next target. They find a girl who witnessed the second murder and she describes someone matching the son of one of the people killed during the siege. They track him down, and he pulls a gun on Booth, but then he notices all the other agents, who have guns, and tries to shoot himself but Booth wrestles the gun from him and they take him in.
He just starts rambling about being 'close to God' and then they find out he has an alibi so he couldn't have killed the agents. But Sweets realizes that Pelant is referencing a bunch of papers he wrote (really? Throwing his own research back in his face? That's kind of douchey, even for a psycho serial killer..) Oh and he also calls Booth to taunt him, saying Booth 'crossed the line' for shooting him. Riiight... Because killing people and threatening others, that's totally fine. Jackass.
In the midst of all this stress, Brennan decides to make an important decision and asks Booth to marry her!!!! And he is terribly confused as to the suddenness (and why she decided to do such a dramatic gesture with a bag of beef jerky) but immediately agrees and I made a squealy noise - except for the fact that I'm incredibly worried about the whole serial-killer thing.

Ahh, so romantic... Although what do you give a man when a woman proposes??? Probably not a diamond ring..

Booth casually brings up the marriage thing while she and Cam and Angela are discussing the case, and when Booth tells Sweets about it, he has a hilarious reaction about 'not knowing how to react to that, but congratulations!'
Sweets also figures out that the shooter (who is not actually Pelant, he's sending a shooter around from his room full of screens where he's spying on everyone) was the child of an FBI agent who was killed during the raid. And one of them was the guy who we earlier saw that Pelant had turned himself into on a video. He was giving someone he called 'kiddo' directions for something, and now we know who - the daughter of an agent murdered was actually the girl that Booth spoke to at the second shooting! But he's already gone to meet her because she said she had more information - and no one can call Booth because the cell reception where he is has been blocked. DAMNIT PELANT!!!
Sweets was on his way there, but he too is stuck - in traffic because Pelant had hacked the traffic lights and created a traffic jam... I HATE HIM!!! The FBI gets to the girl's house and finds her computer so Angela analyses the video and figures out it's fake (Hodgins noticed a bird in the background that wouldn't have been native in the area when the father had been alive, and upon further analysis it became more obvious). She also cracks an encrypted e-mail that says 'Booth decoy target Sweets' and this was my reaction:

That much rage. White rage. So incredibly pissed.

HOW DARE HE GO AFTER MY DARLING SWEETS!!!!!!!! IF SOMEONE DOESN'T KILL THE BASTARD SOON, I WILL JUMP INTO MY TV AND KILL HIM MYSELF!!!! I might have actually screamed if my family wasn't sleeping.
The team is wary that this code might be a decoy, but Angela was brilliant about staying 'on the grid' because then when Pelant noticed that they had cracked his code, he hacked in himself and tried to change the message to show that Booth was the target.

The rest of them may all be Dr. this and doctor-that, but I swear Angela is the most clever of all of them!!

Meanwhile, Booth found a pay phone (brilliant!) and called the lab so they tell him that the witness is the real shooter, and that Sweets is the real target, so he runs to where Sweets is (over some cars, pissing off some drivers), and Bones runs in from the other direction, and the shooter is in the middle and right before she shoots, Booth shoots her, she falls, and Sweets hops out of the car and EVERYONE IS OKAY!!!! Well, the killer is injured, but that's better off than most bad people who end up on the wrong end of Booth's gun. I was so relived! NOBODY messes with my baby!!

Land lines!! Saving the day since 1876.

Then I realize there are about 10 minutes left in the episode, so something has to go wrong.. Crap. What goes wrong is this: Booth Brennan and Christine are at the park, when Booth gets a call from Pelant. Pelant says that he has to tell Bones that he can't marry her - without giving the real reason why - or else Pelant will kill five random people, who he then points out to Booth as various strangers in the park. He says that he knows Booth will 'do the right thing' rather than have five innocent people die, because remember, he's the expert on EVERYTHING, he's read Sweets' papers.  I am rolling my eyes.Then Booth says 'I will kill you' and hangs up, and I'm silently applauding.
Later at their house, Booth sits Brennan down and says he thinks getting married is something he just can't do, that they don't need to, because what they have is enough, and she laughs because she's glad he has finally come around to her side of things, says she only made the gesture because she knew it was what he wanted, and that it's fine, but then she brushes him off and when she leaves the room she starts crying.
And I know Pelant said 'if you tell her, I will know', but SERIOUSLY?!! He couldn't think of a way to possibly slip her a message where there are no cameras?? Good greif, he's not omnipresent!! Even if it does seem that way because he's a huge asshole creeper.
So that's that. I know I hate a cliffhanger, but I really prefer one where the characters are sad to onw where they might be dead. And at least Sweets, Cam, Hodgins, Angela, and the interns are fine (speaking of whom, why no squinterns this episode?). Aaand Pelant lives to piss me off for another season. CURSE YOU PELANT!!!!!!!

I hope you go blind in the other eye, you evil bastard!!!

Bones - catching up (Eps 20-23)

Hey y'all, I've been super-busy with exams and whatnot, so it's been really hard to catch up on EVERYTHING, so here's what I'm doing - a short recap of every episode I've missed, all in one post. Here goes!!

The Blood from the Stones (episode 20, aired March 25th)
They found a body in a car with a really freakishly decomposed face (I know they're all freakish, but this one is like his skin became plastic and then kind of melted and then hardened again). The guy had a balloon in his stomach but was not what you'd think, it was diamonds rather than drugs.
During this episode there was a special guest I was very happy to see - none other than Dave Thomas (or as I call him, the guy from Bob & Doug McKenzie who is NOT Rick Moranis), playing a documentary filmmaker who is doing a video on the crime-solving team to raise money for the Jeffersonian.

The guy on the right. He's aged a LOT...

Anywho, he doesn't think Brennan comes across well on camera, more kind of condescending, so they bring out Clark, who is apparently more likeable. You know, even though he works in a completely different part of the museum, they find a lot of reasons to drag him out. Good grief he's so boring. I was watching Season 4 recently, and I noticed they haven't had Fisher on in a while. Where is he?? Probably off filming Avatar 2. Ugh I only like 2 of the 5 interns they have on these days!! (Finn and Wendell, I hate Clark and Daisy, and Vasiri has gotten more interesting with the whole Cam thing, but I still find him boring.) AND I REALLY REALLY MISS VINCENT!!!!!
Anyway, turns out the dead guy was an undercover cop, so naturally Booth gets all pissed, and he (the cop) was on the trail of these two high-tech robbers who were stealing from ATMs.
They find the two robbers, who turn out to be college students, one of whom had her foot shot off by the undercover officer (Oh lord, it was gross!!) and shockingly they find her alive at her house - which is rundown, you'd think the money they stole would get them better housing? Anyway - and then after all of that and Booth stopped the DYING girl from going to the hospital in order to press her for information about her partner, and then after all of that, the cop's wife ends up being the one who killed him because she was jealous of his job. Which was disturbing because she was played by the woman who played Miss Tutweiler on Suite Life on Deck (don't judge, I used to watch it with my sisters) and now I will never be able to look at her the same way because she was evil!!
Oh, and then the filmmaker guy meets and falls for CAROLINE of all people haha (much to Cam's discomfort, as she was standing there when they were introduced) which I still found really adorable!! Good for her! She never gets a decent plotline!

So cute!! Old people love!!

Other than the fact that she was married to ERNIE FREAKING HUDSON!!!! Dang she gets awesome dudes. Love it. Sorry for the run-on sentences. Off to the next one.

The Maiden in the Mushrooms (episode 21, aired April 1st)
There's a body of a lady found in a patch of mushrooms. Which I have learned more than I care to about in biology class this past semester (mushrooms, not bodies). She is found to be the producer of a fake Judge Judy-type show (not very original, the title was Judge Trudy) and the people on this show, I feel, belonged more on Maury, but whatever.
Anywho, the suspects range from psycho people who'd been on the show (you gotta watch this episode just for the scene where Booth mimics a lady's crazy emphatic arm movements - it was hilarious!), to the judge's assistant (played by the same girl who was Mindy on Drake & Josh years ago), to the judge herself, and then lands on the baliff who had dated the victim, and then strangled her because she was neglectful and let their shared dog die. Lovely.

The courtroom might be fake, but the nutcases are real.

In an entertaining secondary plot, Bones goes utterly insane when her daughter Christine is accused of biting another kid at daycare, and even enlists the help of the forensics department, and suggests conspiracies and whatnot. She is super-pissed (and somewhat conceited) when people would think her progeny is 'average', even though it's completely normal behavior. I remember my sister doing a number on my cheek when she was 2...
And at the end, it is revealed that Christine bit Bones, so she's kind of going to shut up about that. For now.
The 'squint-plot', as I have come to call them, features my second-favourite living intern Finn, who gets all upset when Hodgins eats the last of his granny's hotsauce, and Hodgins adorably works really hard to replicate it (using the mass-spec, might he get in trouble for that??!) and then they end up selling it to a lady to market and produce, with them getting 80% of the profits, and the name 'Opie & Thurston's Hot Sauce'. Say it with me now - AWWW!!!!

The Party in the Pants (episode 22, aired April 15th)
This episode was hilarious. I just KNOW the writers have been thinking about a way to work male strippers into the show ever since Magic Mike came out, and they finally did it!
So first of all, the kid brother from Freaky Friday, all grown up, was in the opening part, where they found a body at a construction site, and then when they figure out it was a male stripper, Hodgins does a little striptease for Angela in her office - which Cam walks in on and makes her 'this is very awkward' face about, what's even funnier is that when she backed out slowly they didn't even notice! Poor Cam is always the awkward bystander lately!!
 At another point in the show, Booth's pants get pulled down by a bunch of excited, drunken sorority girls, when he's trying to interview one of the stripper's coworkers. Awkward! Although Bones was there and found the whole thing hilarious, so he's all good on that front.

Not that I blame them for mistaking him for a stripper at all hahaha...

 In addition, the dead stripper had a day job as a stockbroker, and his girlfriend (in case anyone cares) was in Fired Up. He ended up getting killed by that same coworker because he took all his money and lost it in some kind of insider trading where you rip off your clients because you're a jackass.
And Booth's mom showed up, which was absolutely touching, seeing her with Christine and talking about Booth as a kid - until she dropped the bomb on him that she's getting remarried and has been living with her new husband's kids for the past several years, being a mother to them even though she had left her own children. Which was really sad, they have a fight and she leaves. But then Booth, being Booth, and having Brennan to talk to him, decides to do the right thing and shows up at her wedding. What I want to know is - WHERE THE HELL IS JARED?? (Also someone we haven't really seen since Season 4! I miss that handsome devil!) Oh, and at the wedding, Brennan 'accidentally' catches the bouquet, which is some veeerrrryyy interesting foreshadowing, methinks.

The Pathos in the Pathogens (episode 23, aired April 22nd)
'We're talking about bio-terrorism here' which is why the lab is covered in a biohazard box and the CDC is bringing in a body with some sort of toxin in it. It's a woman blogger, and her fiance was really handsome and familiar-looking. So is the guy from the CDC. I swear, sometimes I am a walking IMDb. Also, Vasiri is back.
But there are no airborne pathogens so the tent is safe but it turns out she was writing an expose on people mutating pandemic diseases like Yellow Fever and SARS. The doctor she was interviewing doesn't like Sweets. How rude! And then Vasiri gets cut by a microneedle embedded in the humerus, so he's in danger! Damnit Arastoo, get your shit together!!  Cam is freaking out about saving him and then he gets all macho 'I could be the key, this is what needs to be done' etc. Good grief.
They think it's a mutated strain of some kind of African virus (I can't take the name seriously, it sounds like 'chickpea'), but they have a serum something to do with rabbits that might help Vasiri. This is reminding me so much of that episode of Criminal Minds with the anthrax...

Not going to lie, I cared a bit more about them saving my beloved Reid...

And then the rabbit serum doesn't help and makes his heart race out of control.
The victim was sleeping with a man whose racehorse farm she was trying to expose for illegal horse steroids. And she accidentally sent an email intended for him to her boyfriend, giving them both motive.
Hodgins concocts an herbal remedy that he thinks might somehow help Vasiri, and Brennan jumps on board but in the meantime, Cam is crying and the CDC doctor says he has about 4 hours to live and won't give them permission to use the herbal medicine. Cam puts her foot down and they inject him. It turns out that the creepy doctor lady Sweets spoke to earlier had been fired from a different lab for stealing vials of the same virus - but then Hodgins realises the virus was combined with bacteria, one that wouldn't have been at the lab when she worked there. So it was her boss.
Booth arrests the boss and drags him (literally) over to the lab to show him the body of his victim, and to show him what he was doing to Vasiri. Cam pleads with him to give them the anti-serum, because Vasiri is a good man, and she is in love with him. WELL that's news to us!! The bastard still won't tell them where it is, so Bones tells him that she's managed to recreate the virus from the victim, and has a syringe of it - AND THEN SHE STABS HIM IN THE NECK WITH IT!! I was shocked but laughing my head off, I must admit - only on Bones!!
And then they do one of those wrap-up things where everything is going to be fine, Vasiri is getting better, and the CDC doctor and Brennan are still friends after all their disagreements.Oh, and the syringe actually didn't have any virus in it. Bones is so clever.

Also, they can save Vasiri, but Vincent gets killed??? Not cool guys!!! (No I won't forget that!)

SNL - Melissa McCarthy & Phoenix

We open, naturally, with a sketch about Kim Jong Un. Apparently he's more progressive with same-sex marriage than the USA - which is unrelated to the fact that he wants to bomb them. Aaaaand now he's talking about all the women he's slept with. And now his NCAA pool. And in between everything he says, there are shots of North Korean army people applauding. Holy crap they actually brought out Dennis Rodman!! Who I have been watching on Celebrity Apprentice for several weeks... He's as crazy as you'd expect.
Melissa McCarthy is having some trouble getting down the stairs in some crazy high shoes hahah 'are you sure that intro song wasn't shorter than last time?' And then she takes the saxaphone player's chair. And faceplants on the stage! Well, I must say that's probably a first for the monologues on this show.
Taran pops out in a vest and hat and bowtie because apparently they were supposed to be doing a musical number, but she can't stand up - HOLY CRAP THAT GUY CAN DANCE! He jumped and did a split midair!! And he can sing too!! How come he never gets any musical sketches?! PS it was his Taran's birthday on Monday (April Fool's day, coincidentally... Not surprised!) Happy Birthday Taran!!! Love you!!! :)

And he's engaged to Cobie Smulders from How I Met Your Mother!!! What a hilarious couple!!!

Bill Heder is a super-serious news anchor talking about a basketball coach who is even worse than the violent asshole who was fired from Rutgers University for swearing, hitting, and belittling his team this week. She's Tasering a teacher, insisting that the teams serve her meals.. And threw a toaster at someone. Well that was unpleasant. Parody of The Voice, Melissa squeals out a 'song' that I didn't quite understand.. Bill does a remarkable impersonation of Adam Levine! And everyone loved her kinda-singing but she kinda doesn't understand what any of them want from her. And she decides to go with Cee-Lo, even though he's not a judge this season! Ahahaha...
Next she's a chef who takes the ham bake-off way too seriously, and does a song and dance routine with Taran and Bobby dressed like pigs to try to influence the judges... 

Somehow pricelessly weird. Maybe it's Taran's face. Or the caption.

And then places 7th out of 8, which is good enough for her!
A fauxmercial for something that allows you to have an entire office workstation in the stall of the bathroom - which is a hilarious idea hahaha plus I love things that fit into a tiny space! Except then it's a 'fake' fauxmercial and at the end it says 'don't let it come to this. Stop texting and checking e-mail on the toilet. Nothing's that important. And it's disgusting.' Well said, SNL, well said!!
I have never heard of this band Phoenix. Is that me being out of touch, or SNL being all hipster again? Not sure.
But anyway, speaking of phoenixes (phoeni? I was never sure, that was my highschool mascot and we never knew how to pluralise it), here's the awesome second song off the new Fall Out Boy album - I give you 'The Phoenix'!!!!

AND OH MY GOD IT WOULD BE SO AWESOME IF FALL OUT BOY WENT ON SNL TO CELEBRATE THE END OF THEIR 'HIATUS'!!! *fingers crossed this happens soon*
As for people I love almost as much as Pete Wentz (really close race guys), here's Seth Meyers!! I think I missed a joke somewhere, because Seth made a cute smiley face at the camera and the audience loved it.
Jacob the bar mitzvah boy is back!! So cute!!
I was too busy enjoying Seth's cuteness to remember any of his jokes to quote.. But now we have Charles Barkley on as a guest to talk about the NCAA tournament! And about that one player who broke his leg HORRIBLY (I saw the video, and photos, and it made me - someone who regularly looks at decomposing bodies - feel nauseous) he says 'You know how he broke his leg? He jumped. If you hurt yourself that badly just from jumping, basketball may not be the sport for you'.
OH MY GOD DRUNK UNCLE!!!! He's my third-favourite recurring Weekend Update guest, after That Girl You Wish You Hadn't Started A Conversation With At A Party, and this guy:

STEFON!!!! I can never get enough of him!!!

At one point, Drunk Uncle just looks at his glass and starts singing: 'I wanna know what love is...' Seth interrupts and then 'I want you to show me!!!!' AND THEN OH MY GOD DRUNK UNCLE HAS A BROTHER AND IT'S PETER DINKLEDGE FROM GAME OF THRONES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS PRICELESS!!!!!

"People are all 'Tumble me, Tumble me'" and then they both started singing and I had to bury my face in a pillow to stifle my laughter and not wake up my roommate. Damn you, SNL, for being on so late at night!
The next sketch is a ripoff of Wheel of Fortune and Bill is the awesome host and Melissa is the Vanna White replacement who doesn't know what she's doing and flips over all the letters on the board when she's trying to find the D's because she doesn't know where anything is, but she manages to do it all while flipping back and forth and gesturing and it's just so silly - especially Bill's reactions to everything! Then she flips over everything because she's trying to 'concentrate' and Fred goes 'I'd like to solve the puzzle' and Bill says 'I'd imagine you would' haha and he guesses the wrong quote.. what a dumbass.
Melissa goes into a bank and asks Jason for a loan so that she can start her own business - to eat pizza. She wants to eat people's leftover pizza, as her job, and keeps repeating her full name and trying to hand him a pen to sign a cheque. I am so confused. Somehow I'm both hungry for pizza and really nauseous at the same time. So she leaves (after shoving a slice of old pizza in her mouth) and then Fred walks in with a box of pizza and says he wishes there was a better way to get rid of old pizza instead of just throwing it out - then Jason stares at him and goes 'oh my god' and back in she comes! Takes the pizza and runs out - in slo-motion, no less.
Kate and Cecily are hosting a fake 90s era show about how women should act to impress men at parties. I love it when they let the new girls carry the sketch! These two are golden! And apparently topics that will attract men include sports scores, blazers, travel mugs, and sports rumours. No wonder I don't have a boyfriend! I have definitely never talked to a guy about travel mugs - or done their next tip, which is 'cupping his elbow in both your hands while raising one knee'. What the hell?!
That was a pretty awesome episode - not quite the 'best ever' as Taran tweeted earlier, but pretty damn good nonetheless!!!

Big Bang Theory - 'The Closet Reconfiguration'

I have been super-busy with school and the like, so I am very sorry I am so behind with everything - trying to catch up! This episode originally aired March 14th, and there is one more to go until I'm caught up - the next new one doesn't air until the 25th.
Howard is throwing all his stuff in Bernadette's closet, and she says they need to tidy it up, unless - Howard suggests - they show the closet to Sheldon and 'the demons in his head take over' and he'll tidy it!
Then the gang comes over for dinner and despite the fact that Bernadette made Thai food from scratch, Sheldon brought his own takeout.
Sheldon is organizing Howard's stuff by season, not by colour like Howard wanted, which confuses me - I don't think Howard's clothes have 'seasons', he wears the same kind of outfit year-round. Turtleneck under a button-up shirt, with skinny jeans and an awesome belt buckle. That's it. 

It's kind of a uniform...

Sheldon finds a letter in the closet from Howard's dad. Which, naturally, he opens, because he needs to know whether it would be classified under 'personal correspondance' or 'memorabilia'.
Howard refuses to read the letter, which showed up on his 18th birthday, because he still won't forgive his father for abandoning him. So he decides to burn it, which sets off the smoke alarm, and that causes another problem because neither of them can reach the ceiling to turn it off.
Leonard and Penny decide to have a dinner party, but a fancy one, not one where people 'dress up' in capes and costumes. Teehee.
Bernadette wants to know what the letter said, but can't bring herself to ask Sheldon about it, so Penny agrees to ask him about it while Bernadette is there.
The girls corner him in the laundry room and ask about the letter. After some haggling, he agrees to tell them.
Raj is helping Leonard plan the dinner party and wants the theme to be 'turn of the cantury Moulin rouge' hahah. Then Sheldon comes into the room with his laundry and tells Leonard sarcastically that he was 'pulling off a heist at the museum of laundry baskets'. Then Leonard and Raj inquire about the letter and he decides to tell them too because Penny would have told them anyways.
When Bernadette and Howard arrive at the party, she decides to tell him that she knows about the letter, and he storms in to the apartment to scream at Sheldon - who then decides to use Amy as a human shield.
When everyone tells Howard that they know about the letter too, he storms out.
Eventually Bernadette finds him in the closet looking at photos of him and his father when he was young, and she tells him she has a surprise for him, and leads him out into the living room -

where the gang is waiting, so somber-looking you'd think they were at a funeral.
They tell him that they came to a decision, to all tell him things that could have possibly been the contents of the letter, that way he would know, and not know at the same time. And maybe a funeral is an appropriate analogy, because what they all said made me cry!! Here they are:
Raj: "It was a card for your 18th birthday, inside it said 'happy birthday Howard, I love you, Dad.' And it was a Far Side card? The one where the frog has his tongue stuck to the bottom of an airplane? He thinks it's a fly. Silly frog." (That sounds made-up, typical Raj's imagination to be so detailed haha)
Sheldon: "It was a map, leading to the famous buried treasure of a pirate named One-Eyed Willie". (Nice try Sheldon, Howard knew that was the plot of Goonies)

Come on, of course he would have seen Goonies and known the reference Sheldon was making!!!

Amy: "You didn't know it, but your father was in the auditorium at your highschool graduation, and he cried because he was so proud of you." (Lots of tears at that one)
Penny: "It was a letter, explaining that your dad wasn't who he said he was. Eventually his old life caught up to him, and the only way to keep you and your mom safe was to leave." (That one's so sad, I hope it's not true!)
Leonard: "Your dad wrote about how family is the most important thing, and you should never throw it away like he did." (Wise words, even if Leonard made them up)
Bernadette: "In the envelope was a picture of your dad holding you on the day you were born. On the back he wrote 'Howard, my son, my greatest gift.'" (SO MANY TEARS!!)
They decide to go back to the party, and on the way Sheldon tells Howard that there are some 'saucy bits' in Bernadette's diary HAHAHAHA!!!
Then Sheldon goes and cleans Penny's closet... And finds some 'interesting' things in there too... But we'll leave that for next week.
This episode was a lot more emotional than I expected, but it was nice to see one centered around Howard as a grown man with real emotions, rather than just his typical, horndog self. I actually felt bad for him. But damn, I really want to know which one of the 'letters' was real!!!

Big Bang Theory - 'The Contractual Obligation Implementation'

Is it just me or are these episode titles getting unweildy?
The guys are supposed to help women become more interested in science. TADAAHH!! (Enter Emily hahah)

Not this one, either.

Sheldon is all 'no this is stupid' and Leonard is all 'oh really, you want ME to help YOU do stuff, but you won't help anyone with anything?!' Point Leonard. Then Sheldon calls Leonard and Howard 'tools', but in the context of 'I use you to do stuff', not... the other, more insulting one.

Sheldon comes up with the idea of targeting middle-school girls so that they'll be interested in science before they grow up and go to high school or university.
Apparently the girl Raj is dating does have a name - it's Lucy, and he's asking the 3 girls how he should take her on a date, because of her social anxieties. Apparently, you're supposed to bribe people when you ask them for advice - Sheldon gave the girls T-shirts, Raj brought wine and fondue... I need to start asking my freeloading friends to pay up!
Penny keeps accidentally revealing how skanky she is by making 'jokes' - which are based on real events! And then the girls decide to ditch work on Friday to go to Disneyland. Amy is reluctant at first, saying her mother told her that playing hooky gets girls addicted to reefer and jazz music.
The guys go to Howard's old midle-school to test-drive their ideas, and a big scary kid bumps into Howard, but he says nothing - in spite of being an adult and having 'ages' since he was stuffed into a locker.
When the girls are en route to Disneyland, Bernadette suggests they go to the place that does princess makeovers - and then she gets jealous when all the girls decide they want to be Cinderella. Damn, all this talk of amusement parks is making me REALLY want to go to Disney World, or at least Canada's Wonderland...
Raj decides his date is going to be at the library... Since they're awkward. And it's going to be a texting date. Which the audience can hear! How cute!
Leonard tries to be cool and the girls in the audience are REALLY unenthusuastic hahaha - his attempt includes using the word 'whaaaat?' and Sheldon stands up and says "Hello female children. Allow me to inspire you with the story of a famous female scientist - Madam Curie." He then tells the tale of how her own discovery killed her, and says "With a little hard work, I see no reason why that can't happen to any of you." Then he turns around and asks if they can go now hahaha... The girls are super-bored and texting each other. And when Leonard was their age, he wanted to be a rap star - "Like Snoop Dogg, but with a healthy respect for the police." LMAO I could never picture that happening, but I wish he would do some more freestyle!!
Lucy and Raj are having an awesome time, and he blames 'autocorrect' for making him gush about how much he loves prom, instead of trying to say 'I love sports' hahahaha oh Raj...

Say it with me: CUTEST COUPLE IN BBT HISTORY

Leonard is continuing to talk about his childhood and says that the cello sounds like a suicidal bumblebee - then Sheldon interrupts them and says that he's instead going to get ACTUAL 'girls in science' to talk to them - and so he calls Bernie and Amy, who are dressed as Cinderella and Snow White, respectively. Penny is Sleeping Beauty.
Then Lucy's phone battery is dying, so she says she has to go, but would like to try one more thing that scares her and give him a kiss goodnight - but when she leans in, she gets six inches from his face and goes "Panic attack! Maybe next time!" and runs out. Awww
Howard and Leonard love their girls dressed as princesses, but Sheldon keeps ignoring Amy's request for a kiss to wake her up hahaha poor Amy.

THEY'RE SO PRETTY I'M SO JEALOUS!!! Too bad I couldn't find a picture of Penny...

HIMYM - 'The Fortress'

Barney and Robin are having important discussions about their upcoming wedding, and he explains why his bed is on train tracks - because it would send women outside when he didn't want them to spend the night. Also, that flashback is a lie, because he used to only have ONE pillow on his bed, for that very same reason. PLOT HOLE!!!!

ONE pillow, people - ONE!!!

Where did all these pillows come from? Unless Robin brought them with her, since 1) Barney's resistant to change, and 2) her apartment didn't match his colour scheme.

Robin suggests they find an apartment of their very own, which he says will be difficult to find an apartment where he hasn't slept with anyone. This will be interesting. Marshall's bummed out because he hasn't seen Lily since she got her new job with The Captain. But there's a show called 'Woodworthy Manor' (basically Downton Abbey) that Marshall and Lily love watching together, and Lily keeps having to dash off to do stuff for the Captain. And then she stumbles in drunk from work and goes to watch with Marshall, but then gets called. Again.
Barney has a floating-head-projector that he uses only for 'really important stuff' like telling Ted Wendy's made a spicy version of the Baconator. And now he wants to 'bestow' on Ted his apartment fortress. Ted says no, and then locks him in the closet where the projector is and he freaks out!! So he doesn't have anyone 'worthy' to sell the apartment to, and Robin gets mad so he sends her and the bed off to who-knows-where ahahaha clever man!
Lily and Marshall were supposed to have a date night, but she got called out to work again, and Ted convinces Marshall to watch Woodworthy Manor without her.
Robin went behind Barney's back and set up an open house for his apartment, so he's mad, and Ted is pretending to be a British guy named Emsbury who is interested in the apartment (also keeps unnecessarily telling people 'I'm a cricket player who secretly hates his life') and when Lily shows up to partake in their charade, Marshall and Ted decide to pretend they are a couple instead, because Ted's 'been there' for Marshall lately, and Lily hasn't. Marshall tells her off repeatedly by pretending that she's a homophobe, and then snaps in a sassy manner.
Barney keeps pointing out the horndog-friendly, patent-pending aspects of his apartment, and turning off everyone who was interested in buying it. Lily decides to turn the tables by insulting Marshall (and another plot hole, she points out the giant plasma TV - BUT BARNEY DOESN'T HAVE A TV, HE HAS A BLANK WALL UPON WHICH IS BLINDINGLY PROJECTED TV STUFF!!! Come on, that was one of my favourite jokes from the episode where Lily stays over at his place!)

Ignore the arrow - LOOK AT THEIR FACES!!! That's them being blinded by Barney's INSANELY BRIGHT WALL-TELEVISION!!!! How could they forget such a crucial joke?!!!

Then Ted starts hitting on one of the prospective buyers of the apartment, and Barney shows off the key-phrase-activated fire sprinklers. Ted and the woman start making out in the closet and they are projected into the room for everyone to see and freak out about!
One couple decides they do still want to buy the place, and Barney gets upset and leaves. Then Marshall gets mad at both Lily and 'Emsbury' for abandoning him, and watches the latest Woodworthy Manor without them and spoils it.
The couple decided they were going to renovate everything in the apartment and pretty much destroy it, so she gets all protective and kicks them out! Then she tells Barney that she doesn't want to force him to change, because she fell in love with him the way he was. 

All together now: Awwwwwwww....

Lily and Marshall make up (even though he accidentally insults her cape) and she tells the Captain that she will work 'tomorrow' because she needs to spend time with Marshall. And Ted's alone. But then that lady from earlier shows up - and off he goes!
Robin and Barney use the escape hatch in Barney's apartment to escape watching Woodsworthy Manor. It sounds so boring - I LOVE IT!!! Hahahha

HIMYM - 'Weekend at Barney's'

I see what you did there, people-who-write-the-How-I-Met-Your-Mother titles. I see it loud and clear. (wait, you can't SEE something loud... Nevermind.) 

Remember this, guys? Well, it was before my time, but it's such a pop-culture phenomenon, of course I've heard of it!!

We open on a beach. With women. Because according to TV, there are never any men on beaches. Other than on Baywatch, but that was just David Hasslehoff. And he's not really anything to look at.
Marshall and Ted are sitting on a porch, talking like the guys from Weekend at Bernie's. Barney's dead. So is my Internet connection. This could take a while.
They make him 'wave' to a girl who runs up to retrieve her beach ball, and she totally buys it. Aaaaand then Barney wakes up screaming 'WEEKEND AT BARNEY'S!!!!' hahaha - apparently his 'plays' from his playbook keep coming back to him in his sleep and freaking him out. Robin comforts him and says she wants to marry him because he burned his Playbook, and so he relaxes and says he couldn't think of anything better - then he wakes up again screaming 'WEEKEND AT BARNEY'S 2!!!' and Robin goes 'DAMNIT BARNEY!!!'
Lily and Marshall are talking about art and Robin and Barney keep making up fake events they have to go to, in order to escape the conversation - clever - and Ted is returning his RSVP card to their wedding by hand rather than by mail. He wanted to save money on stamps. Also he's taking the psycho Jeanette. Lovely.

Whatever happened to their 'Crazy Eyes' theory?? Couldn't Ted have seen Jeanette's crazy eyes when he met her, and avoided the whole thing??

Speaking of whom, she destroyed his apartment because there was spam e-mail in his inbox from a 'woman' - and now SHE'S dumping HIM. WTF??!! But he decides to win her back - which makes Barney and Robin upset.
And then when Lily and Marshall are on their way to the art gallery, he buys Skittles - and something ominous is gonna happen. But that gets cut off by Ted getting on the elevator at Jeanette's apartment, along with an old, pipe-smoking sea captain - clearly Barney - who stops the elevator, tries to strangle Ted, and then tells him to listen to his 'one' rule (apparently he has like twelve) that 'New is always better'. So he gives Ted the real Playbook (the one he burned was 'ceremonial') to try and find a new girlfriend.
Apparently there's 'no food allowed' at the gallery, so Marshall is glad he got the Skittles - and he was voted 'most outgoing' freshman, sophmore, and senior years. And he tied with a guy he hates in junior year. But he isn't making any friends at the gallery. And he keeps sitting on sculptures.
Barney is advising Ted through an earpiece as he runs through numerous plays at the bar. And makes him practise saying 'my penis' over and over again because apparently he had the wrong inflection on it hahaha - I can't believe those lines ever work on anyone!!!
MARSHALL MENTIONED ANDY WARHOL!!!!! Even though the context was "wow, for a gay guy, Andy Warhol sure liked cans" (not your best work, M-dog!) I am still happy because I FREAKING LOVE WARHOL!!!!



PS: if anyone wants to win my love FOREVER - get me this shirt :P
Or anything else Warhol-related, I'm not picky. I have fallen in love with the
website Etsy, there's SO MUCH COOL STUFF THERE!!!!

Also, Ted gets into an argument with 'himself' at the bar because he doesn't want to say the line Barney told him to ('my penis' again) and looks insane.
Marshall is sad and hates the artist at the gallery - who then asks for a minute of silence to honour his dead grandmother (he dedicated the show to her) - and LMFAO HE DROPS THE SKITTLES MAKING A LOT OF NOISE!!! So everyone glares at him and HAHAHAHA he just stands there!!!
Robin walks in on Barney's 'ops center' and goes "Oh my god, is that the Playbook?!" to which he replies "No, Robin, that is a couch... Oh wait, you mean the Playbook on the couch?" then she storms out and he chases after her, but misses Ted being confronted and kissed by Jeanette at the bar. Oh crap.
When he catches up to her, he has nothing ready to say yet, so he tells her to keep walking, and then he tells her that all his amazing ideas that took a lifetime to make up, like 'Weekend at Barney's' and she points out what a stupid idea it is to be an alive person pretending to be a dead person who is pretending to be alive.
Lily and Marshall are talking and he apologises to her for making a mess of things, she forgives him, and when he brings up the TMNT joke he made earlier, the artist overhears him and they become BFFs!!
Barney makes a speech to get Robin to fogive him, it's about how he lies really well, and loves her - an emotional speech which is undercut (in typical HIMYM style) by the hilarity of him pulling various magic tricks out of his jacket!
Uh-oh... Jeanette found the Playbook. And THAT is when she threw all his crap out the window and set it on fire. She blew up the Playbook with the fireworks Barney had given Ted for one of the plays. Wow she really destroyed EVERYTHING - including his red cowboy boots! Damn that's depressing... But on the bright side - NEW SET FOR TED'S APARTMENT!!! And he finally decides he's going to 'settle down' hahaha. Good call, Ted. 

This made me laugh... Josh Radnor's hilarious.

Big Bang Theory - 'The Monster Isolation'

Raj went to Cambridge which was awesome because it looks like Hogwarts, and he has 2 games - stars, and rhyming. But then the girl he was with (the adorable one with the tiny nose, that he met at the comic book store Valentine's party - remember her?) says she has to go to the bathroom and sneaks out. Poor Raj!

OH MY GAWD FUN WITH FLAGS IS BACK!!!!! There are no words to describe how much I love this recurring joke!!! He has Penny on as a guest hahaha because she's a 'flag virgin', but 'not a real virgin', as he shares with his audience. Penny tells him to look more relaxed, and this is the result: 

He's relaxed all right...

Raj is depressed because of getting ditched on his date, so he's drinking, avoiding work, and his apartment is full of trash. Apparently you can order live lobster for delivery online! Fascinating!!

This is kind of unrelated, but Bernadette's outfits are so incredibly cute, I really wish I had more sundresses...

Amy used to have a bunch of flatworms addicted to marijuanna, which makes no sense because she's a neurobiologist and flatworms don't technically have brains... She tells Sheldon to go thank Penny for helping him with his body language and he takes that to mean 'go thank her right now in the middle of our Skype conversation' hahaha

Penny opened the door before Sheldon got to do his knocking, so he worked it into the conversation - she was really happy that he thanked her, and then invited her to a play her acting class was putting on, but he didn't want to. Then Amy said he should go, to be nice, and so he went and said that he would go, but begrudgingly.

At the comic book store, the guys let Sheldon know that Raj is upset and never leaving his apartment because he has no luck with women. Then the girl shows up and talks to Stewart, Howard confronts her and she gives him a paper to give to Raj - which he does. And Raj is in his underwear and a Red Lobster bib. Well then.

And I won't be able to get that mental image out of my head for a week....

He says he doesn't want the number, but then chases after Howard down the street saying he's changed his mind.
Amy got fired from the addiction study because she threw the monkey's feces back at them, and when they get ready to leave for the play, Leonard makes Sheldon empty his pockets of his Nintendo DS, PSP, and GameBoy. Also he had a Rubix cube and an Etch-a-Sketch down his pants.

The girl (who still doesn't have a name, BTW) goes to Raj's apartment (I don't know how she knew where he lives), and tells him that she's sorry for running out on him, that she's socially anxious (I said 'awww' when she said that) and he convinces her that he's 'broken' too, so she should go on just one date with him because it'll be OK. Awww!!!

Sheldon is disappointed there are no actual streetcars in A Streetcar Named Desire, and he Amy and Leonard agree that Penny is actually very talented. Which is weird, because I thought the joke was that Penny was a terrible actress, and that's why she never got hired. Other than that time she was in that commercial for hemorrhoid cream with that lady and they were riding those horses.

That facial expression. That's clear talent, that is.