NCIS: LA - Defectors

I somehow accidentally had the described video on for the first five minutes. I have no idea how it got turned on, and I have no idea how I managed to turn it off again, but DAMN that stuff is thorough. "Callen sits back and looks at Kensi's desk." The only problem is, it pauses during the dialogue, so I couldn't tell if I'd actually managed to turn it off or not.

A guy got hit by a car after getting out of his car at a stoplight because his gas cap was open. The guy who hit him was suspected of being a terrorist. His wife(? Girlfriend?) looks like she's 12 years old.

Callen bought Kensi a self-help book because she makes a mess all over his desk all the time (but Deeks put him up to it)

Wow, this whole episode is about ISIS and its recruiting tactics. I can see why they didn't air it last week. Also ride-sharing apps are the devil. But that's nothing new.

The team goes to a house and pulls guns on an unsuspecting woman and her daughter, and holds said guns on her even after she explains her other daughter has been 'taken'. The daughter was probably recruited to ISIS. Oh dear.

Callen just said 'that's my girl' to Nell and I said 'awwwwwe'!!

I sense a big brother/little sister vibe here

The sister is obnoxiously ditzy-sounding. Like she'd fit in better with on a Disney Channel show. Apparently the missing girl, Zahra, was watching ISIS propaganda videos. She's flying to Turkey to offer herself as a bride. And she was approached by a modelling agency that may have been a front. Yeesh. Can't trust anybody!

Hetty knew Jackie O, and I am not at all surprised. Kensi has to go undercover as a model. How does nobody ever hear her when she's talking to Deeks through her earpiece?! She's not exactly subtle... Just like when she was digging through the file cabinet at the modelling agency and the creepy blonde lady catches her. Or when the guy who owns the modelling agency was having an affair in the back seat of his car and Deeks catches HIM!

Well that was an awkward conversation

Zahra wasn't on the plane she was supposed to be on, but some other girls have also gone missing and might be sent to Iran - or, they're with the creepy photographer guy from the modelling agency. And Zahra was locked in the trunk of a car.

Plus Kensi was smart and convinced the other two girls to go home. Kensi and Deeks start bantering and Callen and Sam exchange a look.

Except they're Granger in this scenario

Then Kensi and Deeks walk outside, still bantering, and there are two dudes in suits near his car, and then they arrest him, for murder?!!

And then he turns and looks at Kensi and says 'I love you' but it was in a weird tone, like 'Oh, yeah, by the way', not really a declaration of love as you're being led away in handcuffs kinda thing...

And oh yeah, that's where they leave it. No further explanation. Cliffhanger.

And we all know how I feel about cliffhangers...

SNL - Elizabeth Banks

This opening was great. Offering hope and solidarity with the people of France after terrorist attacks. A note of sensitivity that SNL sometimes misses. I also didn't know Cecily spoke French, and I'm very proud of her for her delivery, I could tell it was rough and at a few points she seemed on the verge of tears. But she did an excellent job.

Full disclosure - I missed this episode and I was disappointed about that (I love Elizabeth Banks) because my roommate decided I needed to go out with her and socialize. Can't really argue with her on that one.

Elizabeth Banks starts the show wearing a ball gown. God this woman is wonderful. And singing 'Flashdance (what a feeling)'?! She's my spirit animal.

Let's just say the first fauxmercial was creepy.

Black Jeopardy! These ones are always super awkward lol Elizabeth makes a good clueless college-age hippie girl lol. Of course the correct answer is that Tupac is still alive!

It's kind of hilarious when they make the girls into a little 90s-type girl group - Vanessa used to have a crush on the Menendez brothers? That's messed up, girl... THOSE WHITE OUTFITS THOUGH!!! And I don't blame Cecily for liking TRL-era Carson Daly. He's a cutie.

He looks like he just wandered onto the set and they gave him a mic

LMAO OH GOD THOSE HIGH-SCHOOL WEIRD DRAMA KID PEOPLE. There were definitely kids like that at my high school. They weren't performance artists though, they were visual art students. Just as obnoxious, but a little easier to ignore.
"It says the proceeds from tonight's show go to Neil Patrick Harris... He doesn't need that!"
And plot twist: Aidy says her mom's dead, and Vanessa's in the audience and is actually her mom...

UPDAAAAAAATE!!!! Now they're allowed to make fun of Trump! YAAAY!!! 'Jeb Hitler' actually made me laugh out loud and I got shushed by my dad. Oops.
BTW the Starbucks cup controversy is so much horseshit. This is all I have to say on the matter:
1) The fact that they're red already acknowledges the holiday season. They could have just been left white!

Such religion. So Christ-ly. 

2) THERE ARE MUCH MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO CARE ABOUT IN THE WORLD, GET YOUR HEADS OUT OF YOUR OWN ASSES!!!!
Pete has some good points about the whole stupid 'Transgender people are only transgender so they can watch women pee' argument. Well done, Pete. (And he broke slightly hahaha 'Cecily has a beautiful singing voice... That was my favourite line')
Ughh... I love Kyle but I hate his character Bruce Chandling. The whole schtick is that he's a 'comedian' who isn't funny... But the bit itself isn't funny... So it's just uncomfortable. WHY DO THEY KEEP DOING THIS?!!
Caffeinated peanut butter is a thing?! This is what I need for breakfast... Although maybe not after what Michael said about it. Ew. Apparently a 3-piece bikini in Russia is a shirt, pants, and a big heavy coat! That sounds like a Canadian 3-piece bikini. (It started snowing today. Ugh).

OMG yes a sketch about the stupid stories Ben Carson tells, trying to seem like he used to be all tough. Jay Pharoah's impressions are perfect. I love him so much. Belts can stop all the weapons! Why don't people wear belts all over? For safety!

Bobby as an awkward extra in a TV show... his character is accused of being a pervert, and speaking of 'extras', the new SNL cast member makes his first and only appearance all episode as the guy who closes the clapboard. Who are you and where have you been all week?! And he's like 'wait people are gonna think I'm actually a pervert?!' Seems like that episode of Drake & Josh where Josh plays a criminal in a re-enactment and everyone thinks he's the real criminal.

Woah woah woah, just take it easy, man! 

Wait, is Mike O'Brien still doing things? I thought he left? He cast himself as the worst Uber driver ever. Why the hell would she even get out of the car with him? Aww now they're friends and I'm so confused. Girl, you coulda just walked to your destination. Aaaand now they're getting rid of a dead body together. And taking his wife to the hospital. Weird. 

The next sketch is the best little sketch about perspective and first-world problems. Like "OMG I had to eat my sushi with a fork cos the delivery guy forgot to bring me chopsticks." Elizabeth taking two Ubers in one episode? Does she drive herself anywhere?! But at least they agreed to stop saying 'ghetto' forever. Yaaaay progress!! 

And she said 'God Bless Paris' during the goodbye. What a sweetheart. Love you Elizabeth Banks! Never change!! (And hopefully come back and host SNL over and over and over and over again!!)

NCIS: LA - The Long Goodbye

So they changed the episode that was supposed to air tonight, in light of the terrorist attacks in Paris over the weekend, because it was supposed to be about ISIS. Definitely a smart move on CBS's part, but the opening scene involved a bomb and a bunch of shooting, I'm not sure how that's much better.
And in terms of rearranging the episodes, I'm not sure how they will swing that with the non-case-related plot items being out of order. I'm (pleased, but) surprised they didn't just bump all the episodes forward a week and air a rerun this week.

Callen is a good friend, offering to help Kensi with a situation with a PSB ('Parking Space Bitch') at Starbucks. She's right though, sometimes women DO just want to vent without people offering advice or a solution! I wish my guy friends (and my mom) would understand that!!

Sam's old 'friend' Jada was the one who was attacked and kidnapped - she was on her way to the States to go into witness protection. There's something to do with a cartel, and she might have been running away from the NCIS folks because she doesn't trust them.

Oh, BTW, Talia is back. She and Kensi are undercover. As models. With the cartel.

DEEKS WANTS TO HANG OUT WITH CALLEN!!! I want them to be buddies!!! They're my faves. "What could you possibly have plans for, staring at the ocean smoldering?"

I am certain that Callen making this face would be my favourite thing ever.

Kensi finds a guy at the party who's on a laptop looking at photos of Jada, and she pretends to want to dance with him, but then Talia's connection gets all annoyed with her, and they kick his butt. Everyone else runs away, instead of trying to fight the girls.

For some reason, the girls are getting changed behind a screen. In the middle of Ops. Right in front of the guys. Do you guys not have a bathroom or something? This is seriously weird.

Sam's interrogating a guy who thinks he knows everything about what happened with him and Jada. Sam is about to get up and probably strangle the dude, but Hetty intervenes. Good timing, Hetty.

Callen and the team follow someone to a theater, where he takes part in a shady handoff with someone in a hoodie - except the guy in the hoodie isn't a guy at all, it's Jada! And she gets in a car and takes off!

For some reason Jada wants to go back to Sudan but this is so confusing, I mean she was on this show like 3, 4 seasons ago?? HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO KEEP TRACK OF ALL THESE PEOPLE?!! They need to stop doing this!!! Sam wants to prevent her from going back to Sudan because he thinks she'll be killed.

Talia also has a PSB of her own, and she offers to have a talk about it. So sweet. Callen is still not taking sides. Love him.

The head cartel guy shoots the agent who was helping Jada, as she's about to get on a plane - and then Callen shoots that guy, but he tells Callen that he's not actually the Molina guy. Turns out the guy in the interrogation room with Sam was actually Molina. Jada's brother had told him that he was going to kill her. And literally no one is surprised.

Callen hands Jada his phone, with Sam on the other end, and he tells her that her brother's waiting to kill her. She chooses to leave anyways. Damn, this is sad. She's so lonely she just wants to go home even if that means death. Or else she's delusional about who her brother is.

Talia is now flirting with Callen, and agrees that he would give a good smolder. But nobody wants to hang out with Deeks. Poor Deeks.

NCIS: LA - An Unlocked Mind

I missed the beginning of the episode because I was at the library working on an essay. By the time I got home, too much had happened so I kind of didn't know what was going on. Soooo I forgot about it until today. Oopsie. (Darn schoolwork!)

There's a woman running in the woods, then she gets in a car and creepy people are following her, she gets in a car and there's another creepy person in there too. She punches that person and manages to drive away.

Deeks is surprisingly flexible. The lady at the beginning was the wife of a DARPA engineer named David who was a member of a weird church (a.k.a. a CULT) and Deeks & Kensi are going undercover!! Deeks is a good actor but he's also a bit of a perv haha and he thinks Nell is turning into Hetty.

If by that, he means 'tiny and badass', then yes. 

How the hell do a huge bunch of people just randomly decide they want to join a 'church'?! Do these people not have lives? Jobs? Families? The leader is very creepy and looks extremely familiar, he wants to see how 'open' Kensi is and I just threw up a little bit. (The guy who played him was a recurring character on Criminal Minds, but I probably also recognized him because he was in one of my favourite CSI episodes, 'Who Shot Sherlock'.) They keep saying "Welcome to the best part of your life" which should be a red flag right there.

Turns out the cult used to take in high-up executives from big corporations and then steal their companies' secrets. And now they've graduated to stealing defense secrets. Also, the one guy Adam, who's guiding Deeks was totally on another episode of this very show.

They put them in the pool and, naturally, Kensi and Deeks are singled out and they hold him underwater for an unnatural length of time even though he told them he was afraid of water after almost drowning as a kid (a lie) but of course, now his communication with the team in Ops is compromised. Why are those earwig things not waterproof?

The DOJ don't want them to 'poke the bear' of the church, or put agents under cover inside. Oopsie...

The defense contractor guy David has to do his 'work', which is picking up rocks from a field that were probably placed there intentionally - but when he talks to Deeks, someone else takes him away to the 'Discipline Arena' which sounds very medieval and not at all fun.

The women are even creepier than the men, they sit around glassy-eyed, drinking wine and apparently massage each other. Sounds like Real Housewives, but without the catfighting.

Deeks shows up at the Discipline Arena and they're literally doing 'Simon Says' until two of the guys start fighting. And it also involves them being told to slap themselves. Several times, Deeks makes a 'what the hell is happening here' face.

It's like this, but it's on Deeks instead of a baby. 

Sam and Nell get to go into the field, following the guy who owns the church and his shady dealings with shady Chinese people. Granger stands up to the DOJ guy and it's kind of badass. 

The women all start talking about how they're 'like sisters' and seriously, were these ladies rejected from American horror Story?? Because they're SO CREEPY!! And they drugged Kensi! Oh no! 

CREEPY CULT LADIES AND DUDE ARE TRYING TO RAPE KENSI GET HER THE HELL OUTTA THERE!!! 

David decides he wants to leave, Deeks volunteered to help him, and then chaos ensues. Deeks kicks a guy's ass using a rolled-up magazine but then David chickens out and Deeks is trapped (I think? It cut to commercial)

Yeah, he's trapped. A hive mind is an extremely dangerous thing. Eventually David comes to his senses, but not before everyone else's butts get whooped. 

Even Drugged Kensi is stronger than most sober people - she headbutts the leader and punches the creepy lady leader. 

Sam tells Callen that they've caught the Chinese guy, and Callen decides to rush into the compound because Kensi managed to contact them and tell them she'd been drugged. 

The FBI shows up, and the DOJ guy tries to stop Callen from moving in, then Granger goes all badass again, and this happens:

"We could use your help"

*FBI guys nod*

"And you... Stay the hell out of our way"

*DOJ guy looks conflicted*

But Sam lied. He hadn't found the guy. VERY CLEVER, SAM! 

Suddenly the cult members all have guns. That's not good. Deeks just straight-up tackles a dude and takes his gun. This is a really stupid place to have a compound, with no walls or anything, if you're afraid of people escaping. The dude Kensi head-butted shows up, he's gotten dressed but his nose is bloody, and he has his own gun. And it's shiny. 

He also tells the cult members to 'get the barrels and the lye' because clearly they have a process for these things, and it involves murder. He tells David that he's about to 'leave this physical plane' and right on cue, Granger shows up with the FBI agents and says 'welcome to my physical plane!' (If this was not airing on TV he would have followed up with 'motherf***er', I'm sure of it.)

Jon is a fan of Badass Granger

Not to be outdone, Callen slides in with a one-liner of his own - "Welcome to the worst part of your life."

The DOJ guy threatens to arrest Sam for lying to him, then all the other team members (first Callen, then Granger) tell him it was actually each of their faults for the lying. And then Nell (bless her!) pipes up with "I threatened Agent Hanna with physical bodily harm if he didn't lie to you. Made even more entertaining by the fact that she's standing next to him as she says it. 

All 5-foot 1 1/2" of her next to 6-foot something of him. (Hey, she's shorter than me!) 

Awkward moment when Kensi and Deeks are kissing in the boatshed and Hetty appears on the monitor hahaha gotta love her timing! But David and his wife are reunited and safe! Yaaay! And nobody had to shoot a bad guy this week! That's some kind of NCIS: LA record, right?! 

Bones - The Resurrection in the Remains

Don't have a kegger in an old church, it's bad juju.

Typical Bones doesn't like candy for children because she's a killer of fun. But gelatin is fine? Alrighty then...

BTW I've never watched Sleepy Hollow before, but I like Nicole Beharie, and I have quite a few friends who love it. And I don't know how they're going to mix the worlds of super-science Bones with supernatural Sleepy Hollow, but it's sure to be interesting.

Hodgins is wearing creepy demonic contact lenses... It's very creepy.

Plus, why would you cover up those baby blues? 

There's a dead guy underneath the other dead guy - but this one is in a coffin from the 18th century, wearing a British redcoat uniform. And his head is missing. BTW, when you drop a jack-o-lantern, the candle doesn't stay lit, nor in place.

WENDELLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The Bones writers are being too good to me. Two Wendell episodes in like 3 weeks?!

BTW, changing the girl's hair colour and adding some peircings would not make the computer recognize her. It goes off of facial proportions. Yeesh.


Hi Abbie and Ichabod! You will be greeted with hostility, apparently.
Except from Angela, because Angela is wonderful, and nice to everybody, and she tells Ichabod she likes his jacket and he does this:

LMAO

I might need to start watching that show and skipping past the supernatural bits, just to watch him...

Brennan tells Ichabod that he and Abbie should get together. Even I know that's hilarious. Also the dead British guy is a bad dude. 

Evil book is evil, full of spells in a druid language, and the victim had it for some reason, Hodgins is all suspicious. Somehow a digital display can mimic candlelight. And the victim took the skull because apparently one of the spells can teach you how to reanimate the dead. 

*Spoooooky* 

Cam finds evidence that the victim was dead two weeks earlier - but she'd been seen since then. Also she might have been beaten to death with the soldier's missing skull.

Something about George Washington and Ichabod having the same handwriting... Time travel is impossible, apparently. And all I thought of when they were discussing 'iron gall ink' was that scene in National Treasure where the clue 'iron pen' leads them to the Declaration of Independence.

But anyways, the victim's friend killed her because she killed and brought him back and he didn't see anything on 'the other side', so he got mad. Kind of an anticlimactic end. Nothing spooky about it.

I just realized there was not a single scene with Aubrey in this episode. What the hell?!

Bones - The Carpals in the Coy-Wolves

OK so the opening scene was kind of funny, with a man taking his son hunting and berating the kid for not 'acting like a man' since the kid watches Project Runway - then they find a body and the dad is the one who screams. Very clever, Bones writers. But kid? DON'T SHOOT THE FREAKING EVIDENCE!!!

Brennan killed the guy in her books who was based on Booth and that's depressing... Remember to alert your spoilers, Booth!

Dr. Wells' hair/beard is super-long and with it, so is his douchieness. And he's mad that he has to deal with a new female intern who may or may not be attractive. Does he just hate everything?

Coy-wolves are apparently a coyote-wolf hybrid. Which is disappointing to me, because I was hoping they were wolves that were extremely bashful.

I mean, they COULD be both... 

Following the death of Agent Andy, Brennan is going to replace him with another, younger, more handsome FBI agent sidekick. Aubrey thinks she was inspired by him and I don't think he's too far off the mark, because that's BASICALLY WHAT THEY DID WITH SWEETS!!! *sobs*

Is he gonna keep referring to himself in the third person?? Cos every time he says 'Agent James' I'm tempted to add 'Bond'...

Wells is grumpy because he's been having issues... shall we say... 'pitching his tent' lately. Awks. 

BETTY WHITE!!!!!! I knew she'd been on an episode but I didn't realize it was this one!! I'm especially excited because I've been watching reruns of The Golden Girls lately. She's the best!! \

This is relevant. Betty White ain't no banana.

The dead guy might have been murdered over fantasy football. Why am I not surprised... Those things can get heated. And of course Betty White's character plays fantasy football hahaha

She also figured out Wells' problem oh my god I love this woman. 

An actual football player got in a Twitter fight with the victim, which is stupid. There are haters all over the internet and the famous people don't respond to it. BTW Booth still has it, and by 'it', I mean his aim with a gun. Badass. 

Brennan is feeling a little inadequate, because Dr. Mayer (Betty) is much more perceptive than she is. And Wells accidentally shot Hodgins with a tranq dart and now he seems kind of drunk and it's hilarious. 

The angry guy who was a part of the league's wife was sleeping with the victim, and he flips out when Aubrey and Booth go to talk to him, all because he was 'in the middle of a trade'. PRIORITIES, PEOPLE!! But it wasn't him, it was the other guy, the one who worked at a sandwich shop. Dr. Mayer figured it out because of the traces of ham that were left on the body. 

Aaaand Hodgins went out in the woods and shot Wells with a dart. IN THE HAND. I cringed and squirmed and it was gross. 

But Dr. Mayer (who apparently has been working for more years than Angela, Brennan, Cam, and Hodgins COMBINED, but I don't see how that works) gave Brennan some good advice about her relationship with Booth, so she agreed that maybe it was a good idea to bring Agent Andy back from the dead. AWWWE

SNL - Donald Trump

I have a lot of feelings about this. Most of them are rage. I hate Donald Trump so much. He's racist, sexist, homophobic, classist- just about every 'ist' there is. It was mildly entertaining when he was on the Celebrity Apprentice and didn't actually have any power over anyone. It pisses me off so much that this show would give him a platform just for the sake of their ratings. Ironically, many of his supporters wouldn't even watch it because it's 'liberal swill'. Everyone else (like me, admittedly) is watching solely hoping it will be a train wreck.

I considered boycotting it and watching online, but then I realized that I live in Canada so my viewing doesn't count for NBC's ratings anyways.

But I still maintain that this episode should have aired last week, on Halloween - because the possibility of President Trump is scarier than any horror movie.

Larry David is back! I thought that was actually Bernie for a second.

Darryl Hammond does a better imitation of Trump than Trump does. 

"Trump's a racist!" Larry David is just saying what we're all thinking.

Here's a cameo from Ivanka Trump that nobody asked for, and nobody applauded. Awkward. I actually don't hate her, she seems much nicer and more intelligent than her dad. Unfortunately, she still has his last name and is only famous because of him.

The girls are rapping again, now a parody of M.I.A.'s 'Bad Girls' in which they demonstrate ways they're rebelling in everyday situations. But my favourite is when they said "Our waitress was terrible, it's time to leave a tip... Of 20% because being a server is hard and we don't know what's going on in her day."

The next bit was kind of original, Trump 'live tweeting' on screen the cast members in a sketch (Kate, Cecily, Keenan, Vanessa and Taran) while they try not to react to it.

I knew they were going to do a Hotline Bling sketch!! I knew it! It was great! Jay is the best impressionist they have on the cast right now, love that dude. And a Martin Short cameo!! Love it!!

Sometimes you just gotta do the Ed Grimley. #SNL https://t.co/CqxOk5LcuK

— Saturday Night Live (@nbcsnl) November 8, 2015

#SNL 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 sneaky 🐠🐠🐠🐠🐠

— Jose Bautista (@JoeyBats19) November 8, 2015

Jose Bautista approves of the name of one of those dance moves in the video. I'm guessing he feels differently about Trump, however.

Commercial break - I love that commercial with Mary J Blige, Taraji P Henson, and Kerry Washington talking about mix tapes. They look like they'd be so much fun to hang out with!

I was kinda hoping that Kristen Wiig would be dancing with Sia. No such luck.

UPDAAAATE TIME!!! C'mon boys, please restore my faith in your show...
Of course they're taking aim at Ben Carson this week, that's just too easy. But Che did manage to throw some scripted shade at Trump. Good.

LESLIE!!! Called Colin a 'tall glass of egg whites' hahaha. I like that they at least acknowledged the protesters outside... Che manages to bring up more stupid Trump shit. Drunk Uncle is a fan of Trump, which is not news to anyone. Did you know that Drunk Uncle has the power to break a glass in his fist, reach offscreen and just summon another one?

I'm reminded of a little anecdote - my grandma and I were discussing american politics once, and she said to me "I was telling your grandfather the other day, and now I shouldn't use this language, but Trump is the personification of the word 'asshole'." Needless to say, I laughed for about five minutes. But I can't think of a better way to sum him up.

The next bit is kinda funny considering that one Democratic candidate who kept griping about not getting enough time - it's Trump playing 'the laser harp' in a crappy little band and complaining that no one is letting him do a long enough solo because all the other performers keep going really long ones.

Pete Davidson makes his first appearance in this episode - in a sketch where he's Aidy's boyfriend and Beck Bennett is her father, who keeps playing various songs that he himself is singing. And then he gets all angsty and offended when he thinks everyone hates them.

Apparently the band on the show the last time Trump hosted was called 'Toots and the Maytals'. I hope that was planned just to get Trump to say 'Toots' a dozen times. They're a real group. Kinda seem like something Jimmy Fallon would have on his 'Do not Play' list. And this is how you'd dance for it:

The two girls who aren't pornstars anymore are now doing ads for Donald Trump (Tramp?) 

Well. Thank god that's over. At least he was barely in any of the sketches. More like cameos. 

Bones - The Donor in the Drink

Don't explain cremation to a 5-year-old... I'm still creeped out by it and I'm 22.

Aubrey is so darn happy to see Booth again, it's adorable. And he's reeeeally taken over Booth's office. Awkward. Of course Aubrey has a mini fridge, is anyone at all surprised by this??

WENDELLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My precious baby is baaaack!!!! 

Thank god for handlebar mustaches! They help make victim identification easier! He invented a flexible mailbox. I feel like Hodgins would totally rock a handlebar 'stache.

Oh my god! It's David! David Berman the actor, a.k.a. David Phillips from CSI!! Interestingly enough, there were two characters on that show with the name David, but the other one was referred to by his surname (Hodges) almost exclusively.

He's moved on quickly.

God, I miss CSI.

How the hell does a mortuary lose ashes?? That's just sad and awful. Major incompetence.

And Cam doesn't want to be pitied by all of her couple-friends. I know that feeling. But at least it's nice that they're making an effort to include her...

The dead guy was killed for his organs which were then sold on the black market. Ew. And OMG when Aubrey makes a sad face, he kinda looks like Ricky Velez from The Nightly Show. 

Like, a lot. 

Aubrey's going undercover as a guy trying to sell his liver. And the woman he contacts is Chief Vick! From  Psych! Tsk tsk, Karen. Working for black market organ dealers now??

Angela's been taking awesome artsy photos, and Hodgins is trying to set up a show to display them, but she's really not on board. His heart was in the right place, though. I love the two of them.

Bones is probably the only person who could get away with ripping open the shirt of a guy in a casket and screaming 'aha!' Because the funeral home was definitely trafficking in stolen body parts. Ewwww.

Aubrey brings Booth what he thought was the box containing Jared's ashes - it's marmalade. Which Booth then tosses in the trash and Aubrey then takes. He's the comic relief that Zach used to be, that Sweets was, that Greg was for the first 5-6 seasons of CSI. And I love it.

Chief Vick! I mean, Nina, why would you just pick up a random dead guy and believe that there's nothing sketchy about that. Meanwhile, Wendell is getting a seriously guilty conscience about the possibility of shutting down the black market for people who really need organs. You're good people, Mr. Bray.

And good looking too, amiright??

Awwww Aubrey gave Bones his old office back. I'm so happy! 

Holy crap, David's character was in fact the killer. (The victim's apprentice) and holy shit he'd donated a kidney? For money? To help keep their business alive?! Damn, that's desperate. 

So I gather from this show that Angela really liked taking pictures of stairs. And everything is in black and white, so you know it's *art*. In all seriousness, may we all find a partner as supportive as Hodge-podge. 

Turns out Jared's ashes weren't missing at all, Christine had used the box so that she could climb in and out of Hank's crib. Awwww... But surely such a resourceful child couldn't find a stool or something?

NCIS: LA - Unspoken

Sketchy meet-up in an alley is sketchy. Shootout ensues. And an explosion. What fun!

It always comes back to this GIF. 

Deeks and I share a love for long-sleeved baseball tees. They're so comfy. Kensi and Deeks have no boundaries. NO BOUNDARIES WHATSOEVER!

The guy who was standing in front of the building when it exploded was an old partner of Sam's. His name's Mark, he works for ATF. Naturally, Sam wants to vouch for him. But he went back into the building and retrieved a case full of money. Not looking good for his innocence. But it never does.

The guy Mark used to be a drug addict but he's supposed to have been clean for a long time. Sam believes this, nobody else does. They go to his house and his son refers to Sam as a 'super ginormous man' hahaha

They track Mark down, but he runs. How dare you push your old partner into a bicycle!! How dare you, sir!

Tell him, Sherri

OK s Mark went back undercover and tried to do the transaction by himself and then the bad guy threatened to kill Sam... I'm not sure what was happening, I got a giant book in the mail and it distracted me. My bad.

Sam is talking with a really bad accent - and he manages to convince the henchmen to turn on their boss. Good job Sam.

They go to a storage locker (aren't those places so useful for hiding illegal stuff?) and Mark turns on Sam because of some weird jealousy. I think he thinks Sam slept with his wife? Huh? Where did that come from?

Seriously, Sam's accent is not good. I don't know if that was an acting choice, or if LL Cool J just can't do accents. Either way...

The one bad guy's brother was in custody but he tried to attack an agent so Granger shot him. Now they can't use him to lure in the other guy. Oh dear.

Hetty tells a sad story about why Sam wants to believe in Mark. It's sad.

Why would you hold an open flame to a piece of explosive? Isn't the whole point that it will explode? I don't get it.

Mark saves Sam's life, and then gets shot. Really? They're gonna let him die now? Just after he redeems himself?!! Oh, no, they're not. Because he redeemed himself.

NCIS: LA - Blame it on Rio

There is a dead man on a plane. AAAAAHHH!!!! No wait, he's just sleeping. He's a US Marshal escorting a prisoner. Uhh isn't it kind of important that he remain awake to do that job?!

The guy's handprint doesn't match his passport and suddenly the marshall realizes it's the wrong guy. Seriously. Don't fall asleep on the job, bro.

Eric volunteers to work out with Kensi, and that apparently entails him wearing a giant pad and she punches him. OK now that's not fair, it makes sense to want to smack Deeks a little bit because of how antagonistic he is, but why y'all gotta pick on the nerd??

Also Deeks is wearing Uma Thurman's track suit from Kill Bill. Kinda looks like pyjamas.

 

Don't call Eric a cyber-punk, he's a cyber-stud. And hey look, it's the guy from the other NCIS! The cute one! (I don't watch that show)

Nell's getting dressed for a renaissance faire, and once again I'm jealous of her wardrobe. Aww she's going with Eric! So cute! OH MY GOD HIS REACTION WHEN HE SAW HER!! THEIR NERD LOVE IS REAL!! 

AND IT IS SPECTACULAR!!!!

Are they seriously looking for Bobby Lee from MADTV??!

DiNozzo was here to pick up the criminal, and OK I guess it's not the marshall's fault he was asleep. He was drugged. My bad. But still. 

And yes, they are looking for Bobby Lee from MADTV. 

This is the face of a hardened criminal, you guys. 

The lawyer is a pain in the ass, shockingly. She accuses the US government of kidnapping her client, which is dumb, because clearly the marshall was surprised to see the replacement guy. And Sam points out she wouldn't have known he was in LA if he was actually kidnapped. God I hate TV lawyers. How did HE get on the plane? He would have had to use his passport.

Kensi keeps complimenting DiNozzo, to make Deeks jealous. He's an excellent flirter, too.

OH MY LORD. Whoever is in charge of the writing for Nell and Eric this season is my favourite person in Hollywood. They're getting so much screen time this season, and their banter is top-notch. I love them so so much. Nell has been to furry conventions, and Eric said 'there will be hose' which obviously sounds like 'hoes' and then she shot him a look... I'm dying. 

R.I.P. ME. I AM DECEASED.

Especially because Granger overheard that. He looks mildly bemused. 

DiNozzo knows French. And he and Deeks are facing off, it's excellent. Ane Kensi SERIOUSLY didn't get suspicious when she saw that giant black SUV pull into the parking garage?! C'mon girl, you know that's what all bad guys drive! He escaped. 

Sam does origami. I like this. And DiNozzo, Deeks & Eric are geeking out about Nightrider, that's so cute. Nothing like an 80s TV show to bring two guys together. Plus it's interesting they mentioned Arnica, my mom and sisters use that stuff. (It's for bruises. My sisters do gymnastics. 'Nuff said)

HAHAHA Deeks just used the phrase "shipping us" and this show has gone full meta. Lots of shipping. Shipping everywhere. Especially the Nellric kind. That's my favourite kind. 

Oh my god this guy is an idiot. Clearly he was cast for comedic relief. And he's faking another heart attack. Callen and Sam are too smart to fall for it. I love them. This is starting to be like an episode of Psych. I love Psych. 

The bad guys show up at the hotel and shoot up a hallway. Rio runs away, which is weird because I thought he was in collusion with the bad guys? Why would he run away from them? And why does he make those squeaking noises when he runs?!! 

I laughed out loud more during this episode than any episode in recent memory. Bravo, R. Scott Gemmill, whoever you are. I like your style. 

NCIS:LA - Command & Control

I like it when the episode starts with a car chase. And then an explosion! Double the fun!

Kensi was undercover as a woman named Rachel dating a guy who spent 3000$ on a dress for her, and she says she hates pretending to date millionaires, she 'prefers things with flaws'.

Deeks might need some cold water for that burn. 

I would have liked to see an episode about that case! 

Eric is... Not athletic. Nell watching him trying to stretch and flip and stuff in the gym was kind of adorable. And then she tried to choke him. Less adorable. He's really embarrassing himself. Also Nell dated one of the instructors from the self-defense class Eric passes out while warming up for. Aww poor Beale. 

Callen has the same criticism that I do about acai - he doesn't trust it because 2 years ago you'd never heard of it. Some guy cycles past and randomly drops a phone off on the table. Then it rings. It's all very cloak-and-dagger. This dude is threatening to kill 20 people and he's watching them. I agree with the bad guy that they should have their own theme song. (I mean, the show does, but the two of them need one). 

There was a bomb at a bus stop and they manage to get everyone out of the way in time. But they ruined their cell phones just for that? Kinda anti-climactic. I don't know about you, but if some random guys start screaming at me that there's a bomb, I'm not letting them pick up my children, I'm running the OPPOSITE way. Weirdos. Literally anyone can scream 'federal agent!'

Deeks makes frittatas. So do I. (But actually mine are just omlettes that fall apart). He decides to have a serious relationship conversation over breakfast and it makes me sad. She says "I don't care where I have breakfast - as long as you're there." 

CONTINUITY ERROR - Callen and Sam had time to hide behind planters and sit for a second before the bus shelter exploded. But in the security footage Nell shows, Sam barely makes it out of the frame and the explosion happens immediately. 

Also there's no way in hell that security camera has sound - certainly not good enough audio to hear the phone being placed on the table. Come on, guys. A little reality here please. 

The guy on the bike is dead. And Callen/Sam are instructed to meet the bad guy at a park. He looks like the poor man's Steve Buscemi. But he's not just some Unabomber loon, he's a well-organized terrorist loon. He has henchmen and everything. 

I kinda love the way Callen stands when talking to someone evil. One hand curled, one shoulder towards him and his front facing outward (away from Sam). It's subtle, but a very powerful stance. 

You know I love me some Kensi and Deeks banter, but THIS IS NOT THE TIME, GUYS!!! Deeks wants to buy & flip a house. 

OK so they run a red light hoping Eric sees it - but is Eric going to be watching literally every red light camera in the city for a truck that he doesn't even know they'll be driving?! Of course he is. This is TV. Their mission is breaking into a company that imports diamonds. And the bad guy said there were going to be security guards there to 'assist' them but THAT WAS A LIE! Bastard. 

He's also related to another case (I think?) that might have been an episode way back when. I don't really remember. But there's a security camera in the garage that Eric found, yet the bad guy can't see that?! At least the team knows where they are, now. 

Granger decides to take Nell into the field with him, she has an adorable outfit as per usual. Also Eric is jealous. Poor Eric. Better take those defensive training classes ASAP, buddy. 

And maybe do some stretching, like Jose Bautista. He's so flexible.

Granger seems weirdly proud of Nell. It's kind of cute. He's also very good at the deductive reasoning. As is she. 

So the police officers found Callen & Sam and ran after them, but showed no interest whatsoever in the shady guy they're clearly doing a handoff with? These police officers are not very good at policing. 

The bomb deliverer is posing as a member of the catering service at a convention center. OH SNAP! The chase/explosion at the beginning was their car! Sam shot the acetylene torch canister from a distance and made it blow up! He's lucky there were no innocent civilians in that parking lot... 

How did they get the right catering truck? There must have been a real one somewhere, right? Oh well. They got the right one, got the bomb disarmed, and killed the bad guys. But he teases them because someone on the inside had told him who it was that killed his brother. I SMELL ANOTHER MOLE!! 

Granger gives Nell a little pep talk. "Never belittle yourself or your accomplishments. You deserve the respect you've gotten." Awwww... Then Deeks & Kensi come in and invite her for a burger - she wants to take Eric too. I SMELL A DOUBLE DATE!!! 

I keep smelling things, I need to get my nose checked... 

NCIS:LA - Driving Miss Diaz

Is it weird that I see 'Miss Diaz' in the title and all I think of is this lady?

No? OK. 

So the episode starts with a girl alone in the dark on a university campus and a security officer approaches her and offers to escort her home.. But then another officer approaches them and says the first guy's an imposter. THAT IS LITERALLY ONE OF MY WORST FEARS!!! They shoot each other and she runs away.

Sam's changing the toner in the copier. But he goofed. Nell is helpful, Eric is not. 

I usually find this to be most helpful.

The bad guy was from Peru and was a member of a death squad from the 90s. There was a massacre carried out by said death squad, and a witness survived - a young girl, who the bad guys thought was the one at the university (it wasn't). Instead, it might be some model who wears lingere for a living and Deeks and Kensi have been sent undercover to protect her. She's the aforementioned Miss Diaz, and Deeks is doing the aforementioned driving. 

Elmslie from the global tribunal is back, I hate when they bring back people who were in like 2 episodes 3 years ago, how the hell are we supposed to remember them?!

Pop quiz: who hosted the Olympics the year Elmslie was last on this show??

She's pissed and doesn't want to talk to him. They're trying to set up a trial for the leader of the death squad, while he's trying to run for leader of Peru, and there must be a leak in the tribunal to know who the girls are that could have been the witness. 

God this model chick is so annoying, she gets mad at Kensi for apologizing. What a diva. But she's an orphan so I have some sympathy for her. 

Callen and Sam go undercover as tech support guys, and Sam kinda-sorta flirts with the receptionist which is creepy because she's WAAAAY too young for him. Now Callen is mocking him by making him actually install something. Elmslie gets arrested because he's accused of being the leak in the tribunal. 

Deeks subscribes to Steven Hyde's hairstyling philosophy

One of the other tribunal people who was a suspect is now dead, so somehow that means Elmslie was innocent? He had threatened the NCIS team because his family was in danger (I don't remember that) and now his family has left him... Awks. 

ERIC AND NELL HAVE BOARD GAME NIGHTS!!! AT HIS HOUSE!!!! AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW MY LITTLE NERD CUTIES

Hetty showed up at the photo shoot and scared the shit out of Deeks. She's going undercover... as herself. As a director of the photo shoot - then she literally blows everyone's cover and convinces Diaz to cooperate. Hetty's the best. 

Sam and Callen go to Diaz's house and scare the crap out of a cleaning lady - but they send Eric a photo and he goes 'Wait a minute, there is a cleaning lady, but that's not her!' (Saw that coming) 

I want to know why she even bothered dressing up in the first place, was she expecting someone to show up? 

She was supposed to torch Diaz's house. Kensi gave Catalina advice from her soap. Busted... And then they pull their guns on Catalina's boyfriend. Awkward. 

THE WATER BOTTLE. I SAW THAT AGES AGO. Granger's smarter than everyone else, I'm so disappointed. But Catalina isn't actually the girl who witnessed the massacre. Aaaand now she's missing. 

So the boyfriend isn't a boyfriend, he's her adopted brother and much much younger than her. Ew.

Nell's dress this week is really incredibly cute. I would love to raid her closet (we're probably close to the same size too). Somehow Elmslie didn't know Catalina had a brother. It's possible that Gabriel (the brother) is the son of the general, who supposedly died in a house fire along with his mother, but - PLOT TWIST! - the mother is totally that not-a-maid they arrested earlier!! 

SO. The woman was a witness to the murders as well, and Catalina was her daughter. The general spared her because he liked her and she had his kid, but then staged the fire so she and her children could escape. So Catalina and Gabriel were actually related. Mega ew. And the DNA was only compared to the dead people so that's why there was no match! 

The bad guys show up Gabriel's apartment. Oh dear. 

For the first time ever, Callen runs out of bullets. And the girl has to run in heels. This is a stupid plan. But then Deeks shows up and hits a bad guy with a car. PS Kensi has been wearing a burgundy blazer all episode and it's really nice. 

Hetty has a future in directing photo shoots (and modelling in them). And Deeks has a present nd a future in putting his foot in his mouth.