HIMYM - 'Bad Crazy'

Ted starts the episode with flashbacks to the DOZENS of women he's dated since the beginning of the show (real good start for your kids there, Ted..) and then mentions how Jeanette (our dear Abby Elliot, remember?) threw a glass bottle at his TV and broke it. Also, Marshall and Barney are keeping all this stuff at his apartment because Lily and Robin won't let them keep it in their own apartment - and Ted uses the phrase 'J'accuse!!' perfectly. Barney deflects to talk about how crazy Jeanette is, and uses one of these:

 

to get his point across. I love him!!
Robin doesn't want to pick up Marvin, and has always found sneaky ways to get out of holding him, including spilling wine on herself.
Ted says he knows how crazy she is and Barney is like 'DUMP HER' and brings out scenarios of what she could do since she's really insane. 

I'm surprised he didn't break out this graph!!

Ted decides to dump her in a public place to be safe, and she screams at a ref that she'll "kill him, even in front of all these people" - before the game even started.
So he dumps her anyway, and the next day Ted tells the guys that he has to go somewhere and not to let Jeanette in. But they're distracted by video games, so even though when she shows up, they scream and slam the door, eventually they let her go into his room to get her book - and when Ted returns, she's barricaded herself in and broken everything.
Lily needs to go get Marvin's binkie on the bus, but Marvin starts crying and Robin doesn't want to touch him, so she tells Lily (4 years later) that she let an old lady pick him up and then (12 years later) admits that the stroller rolled off the curb.
Jeanette doesn't have to leave because there is food and water and a port-a-pottie that Ted put in that room to prepare for Hurricane Sandy. And he called the cops, but they find out (after speaking in Brooklyn accents) that she's a cop and says she's handling it, so the cops don't actually show up.
14 years later Robin tells Lily that she and the old lady were cold so they went into a strip club (how long did Lily chase that bus?!) and 16 years later she admits that she left Marvin with the old lady to go to the bathroom. And 2 years after that, she admits that it wasn't an old lady, it was Mike Tyson. And Lily is not pissed, she is like 'OMG I'M SO JEALOUS, WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THAT YOU MET MIKE TYSON?!!' (who, evidently, 18 years in the future, is a senator). 

Speaking of whom, apparently the best way to not be depressed is to
mimic his voice and say 'Sunoco Station'. I have tried it. It works.

Ted decides to put on a suit of armour and then admits that he didn't actually break up with her, they got in a fight and parted on bad terms, because she's jealous of Lily and thinks she's Southern and a doctor.
Mike Tyson told Robin that if you look at the guy a crazy girl is dating, you'll see 'the real crazy' (and THAT is when she realised who he was). Also, Ted and Jeanette didn't really break up, they fought and then started making out. And when he went upstairs to talk to her, she was in a dress and his red cowboy boots so they started making out again.
They are still talking and Lily casually gets up and hands Robin the baby, Robin doesn't notice for a minute then goes "Holy crap, I'm holding it, I'm holding the baby!" and "This is not a big deal" - then whispers:

HOLY CRAP I CAN PUT GIFS ON MY BLOG

Lily tells Ted it might be a good idea to be with the crazy girl for a while, then figure out what he really wants in life. And apparently that scene we saw at the beginning, when they were all on the road and stuff was on fire?


That was Jeanette's doing.

Can't wait to see how that works out!!
And apparently Robin loves the baby so much that she's holding him several hours later - until she poops himself, and she's all "Lily, take yo child!". Typical Robin.