Glee - 'Sadie Hawkins Dance'

Even though I know they wouldn't (it's not 'mainstream' enough) but I really wish they'd done this Relient K song during this episode:

I mean, same title!!! It's no secret I love Relient K, to have Glee cover one of their songs would make me so happy :3 (unless they ruined it, in which case I'd be one pissed-off fangirl!)
Sam is running around talking to Blaine and saying there's something up with the Warblers, he thinks they're cheating, all because they were doing flips at Sectionals, and the fat guy has vanished. And then he uses Blaine's lip balm, because conspiracy theories make his lips go dry. I thought he had a huge stash in his locker?! Where's the stash?
They were late for the Student Council meeting, and Tina says that Sam spent the last meeting doing a Daniel Craig impression - which made me laugh SO hard, I love a good impression!! And Sam's are amazing!! I think it needs to be mandatory that, along with singing, unintentional racism, and Rachel-having-diva-moments every episode, there must be at LEAST one Sam impression. Every episode.
Tina is upset that prom is coming up and she never gets asked to the dance. Sam informs her she's kinda-hot, and then everyone votes in favour of a Sadie Hawkins Dance. Except Blaine. Also, apparently (among all other random and weird clubs) McKinley has a 'Too Young to be Bitter' club, where single girls (including the return of Lauren!) sit around and gripe about being single. I would so join that club. 

Lauren: "Ever since I dated Puckerman, no one will ask me out."
Sugar: "Probably because everyone thinks you have herpes.."

Kurt is at NYADA and now is all alone because Rachel is ignoring him to go hang out with Brodie. So someone tells him to join the Adam's Apples. Which means he's gonna be singing in a show choir AGAIN.
All the guys feel awkward over how to reject girls who ask them to go, or what they'd do if no one asked them. Puh-lease those guys are all gorgeous.
Beiste has 'heard' about Sue taking over the choir room (how could she not have, it happened over a month ago..) and Finn decides to turn the dance into a lesson, where the girls sing to the guys they want to ask to the dance. Kitty is all 'yea, I'm all over this assignment, I have someone I want to ask' and Marley makes this face O.O cos you know the bitch be talking about Jake.
Brody stays over at Rachel's and Kurt is all 'omg scandalous' and then she tells him not to join the Adam's Apples because apparently it's 'social and career suicide'. We have a diva moment, ladies and gents... Good thing the Daniel Craig impersonation cancelled it out!
Tina sings about the pain of 'unrequited love' and Artie thinks it's to him, Sam thinks it's to Unique and she's flashing back to all the times she and Blain were hanging out together and she likes him and I'm having flashbacks to Season 1 when Mercedes was in love with Kurt O.O SO AWKWARD!!! BUT SHE KNOWS HE'S GAY!!!! And not shockingly, he says no, poor guy and she looks shocked.. OMG WHYYYYYY?! (Side note: I knew that happened, because I'm on Twitter, but it makes me so uncomfortable still)
Kurt meets the leader of the Adam's Apples, a cute British guy named (what else?) Adam, and I was expecting the group to be all guys, but there are girls there too - apparently they really wantKurt to join them, but they are a ragtag band of misfits, half of whom look homeless... 

He looks homeless in a really cute way...

And they sing an incredibly weird cover of 'Baby got Back' which apparently has caused a lot of controversy... I muted it.
Then Britney goes up to Marley and says she knows she likes Jake, and Marley says he hasn't tried to talk to her since she fainted onstage. Then Britney tells her to sing and dance it out and they do (in some GORGEOUS blue dresses, I might add) but the voices were really off from the video, I don't know what happened but it looked really fake.. Then when they're done, Marley yells 'JAKE' and everyone jumps then she goes over and kneels down (overdoing it a bit..) and says 'would you go to the dance with me?' and he grins and says yes! Awwww!!

But come on, who could say 'no' to that face?!

But Ryder looks sad, and Kitty looks pissed... Uh-oh. Then Britney pounces on Sam and asks him to take her, and he does a Yoda voice and says 'honour it would be' and I had to pause the video I was laughing so hard! Yess!! I can't believe it took them 2 seasons to discover that talent of his... Also then Ryder looks out the window and a Cheerio with a neck brace is waving at him. And he looks super-confused.
Kitty threatens Jake if he doesn't dump Marley, and then is all 'hey she's such a little virgin, if you go with me, I'll sleep with you' and I wanted to yell at the screen: 

Gotta love Mean Girls.

But seriously. What a skank. Tina goes up to Blaine and apologises to him because she remembers that the reason he transfers from his OLD-old school to Dalton was because he was bullied at a Sadie Hawkins dance. So obviously the memory is painful for him. And then he apologises for embarassing her, and says he also doesn't want to go because he has a crush on a straight guy and he doesn't want to go to a dance where everyone will be romantic except him and Tina pesters him to tell her who it is - and it's Sam. Which would explain the look on his face when Sam asked for his lip balm earlier.
Sam is adorable and yelling about how the Warblers must be using HGH and includes time-lapse photos.. I gotta say, the awesome hair, the big blue eyes, the enthusiasm over conspiracies - does he remind anyone else of somebody??

Tadaahh!! And apparently, both are great kissers.

And then Tina and Blaine have a heart-to-heart and we see a flashback of YET ANOTHER Sam impression - this time of Arnold Schwarzenegger speaking Train lyrics... 

"Hey soul sister. Ain't that mister-mister on the radio?"

I'M DYING!!! I want to hug whoever wrote this episode. Like seriously. And Tina says that she'll go with him, as best friends, and they'll have fun together. Awww!
Jake is talking to Puck about his girl dilemma, and they are using baseball metaphors.. And then suddenly Puck changes it to a cereal metaphor? I'm confused. Then Puck says to stay away from the 'Jesus-loving little devil', and "Don't worry about it, little brother from a differently coloured mother. I'll handle it." I HAVE MISSED THIS GUY!!
Kurt's talking to Rachel and says he has a crush on Adam from the Apples, (but won't tell her the name of the guy) and they both think Adam likes him, because he said Kurt looked like a young Paul Newman.

Not going to lie, I don't see a resemblance. Well, maybe the jaw.

Puck goes to talk to Kitty, and she says she doesn't even like Jake, she is just 'a hot bitch who gets what she wants' I am really confused as to why she wants him then... And she can't take him seriously because he can't spell, he says 'Leave my brother A-L-O-N.' And then she asks Puck to the dance and acts like a slut so he says yes. And then she tells him "My dates are always underwear optional."

Say it with me...

They get to the dance (which is snowflake-themed and 100x prettier than any dance I've ever been to) and I take it from his speech that Artie never got asked to the dance hahaha poor guy! They all the guys sing TLC's 'Scrubs' and I LOVE IT!! It's a good song to begin with, but they nailed it!

Then Marley and Jake are dancing (and she bounces around like I do when I dancce, which is adorable!) and she admits that she always assumes the best in people. And wants him to let her take things slow and she's all adorable about it, and then he looks kinda unsure. Damn.

Then Beiste finds all the single girls sitting alone, and gives them a pep talk so Lauren asks Joe to dance and Sugar asks Artie. And at the same time Kurt asks Adam if he'd like to get coffee sometime and they all say sure!

Then we see Tina and Blaine dancing and she still seems like she likes him and they're just having a good time and then Sam runs up and drags him away because 'I just got a big break in the case!' Then Sugar and Artie roll up and say that she can dance with them and she looks miserable.

And the girls sing 'Locked out of Heaven' and I'm so happy because I adore that song!! Also Britney makes a warning announcement not to eat the fake snow, 'because the glitter sticks to the roof of your mouth'.

Kitty and Puck are flirting, and apparently she genuinely likes him, which is odd because I didn't think she was capable of emotion... Also, he's never heard of Spellcheck. Which explains a lot.

Then Blaine and Sam go to Finn and tell him that they have tons of evidence - including a video of one of the Warblers having 'roid rage at the Starbucks barista. They know the Warblers are using performance-enhancers (a category which includes Four Loko hahaha). And he tells them this is super-serious to accuse them of something like that. Then, out of the shadows, steps the fat guy (whose name is apparently Trent, and Finn says he's like the 'sunshine of the group' hahaha) and he says he wants to go public about the steroids because the Warblers wouldn't let him perform unless he took them. 

But he's the sunshine!! You can't kick out the sunshine!!

Rachel sets a table for dinner and Brody shows up, but 45 minutes late, because of the train, then she says that he should have left earlier (if that was the entire reason, that doesn't make sense for that to be his fault..) and he brought flowers and says that he didn't care it was cold, because he was going to get to see her. And he wants to dance with her.. And he's so sweet!!

Ryder is singing and looking at Jake and Marley and looking jealous, but then neckbrace-girl is watching him! And everyone is dancing - Brody and Rachel in NYC, Tina and Blaine, Sam and Britney (Blaine's watching them kinda creepily) and Jake and Marley. Brody says he'll get an apartment out there to be closer to Rachel (which makes no sense to me, because the school is so far away, she's the one who lives in a dumb place) and she tells him he should just move in there! Kurt's white-noise machine is going to be working overtime.

And then the Too Young to be Bitter club is all happy because of the dance, and Tina says she's found the love of her life (yes Becky, I think she is talking about gay Blaine, awkward!) and so they disband the club.