SNL - Jamie Foxx & Ne-yo

HUZZAH I found a website with the full episode, rather than Global which only had some of the episode, and has taken it down by now...
The Cold Open is about, what else, the fiscal cliff - with Jay as Obama and Bill Hader as the House Speaker, who is apparently being picked on by his party :( And since it's Bill I feel so bad for him haha... And they even pushed him into the ladies bathroom with no pants on! And he looks like he's gonna cry! Damn, that guy's a good actor.
Ok disclaimer: I kinda don't like Jamie Foxx, he seems like he tries too hard to be cool, and never succeeds... I don't even know why he's on now, he hasn't really done anything lately..
He starts his monologue by talking about how black he is. And how black the New York Nets are. And nevermind, apparently he was in Django Unchained, which is what he's promoting. And the movie is also black. And so is Obama. I'm facepalming.
Now he's playing a piano (look, a black piano! And half the keys are black!) And he can sing O.O Holy smokes he can actually sing pretty well! Very much unlike he raps. 

Anyone remember this stupid song? I wish I didn't...
PS - it was ALL T-Pain, very little Jamie. Still stupid.

And then he brings out 2-Chainz and I'm facepalming again. And he points out that Ne-Yo is also black. And I'm feeling very white and slightly bored watching.
The next sketch is a fake game show called 'Bitch, what's the answer'. I think the point of this sketch is to see how many times they're allowed to fit the word 'bitch' into an episode of a show without getting censored. Jamie, is of course, the host, and Taran, Nasim and Bobby (wearing the worlds ugliest Christmas sweater) are the contestants. The first question is 'who was the president?' and obviously, it's a vague question so Taran guesses Abraham Lincoln and it's wrong, apparently the answer they're looking for is William Howard Taft. LOL! Nasim's question is 'what's up with carbon?' and the answer is 'it's in fancy bikes' LMAO! I've also lost count of how many times they've said 'bitch'. 'Where Jupiter' is the next question and Bobby is allowed to guess as many times as he wants, it's not 'in space', 'next to Saturn', 'in back of Saturn', or 'the Roman version of Zeuss' and in a fake-out they ding when he says 'it's a town in Florida' but the real answer was 'it's in space' HAHAHA but he still loses.
OMG IT'S J-POP AMERICA FUNTIME NOW haha this sketch is so weird but makes me laugh... and the Sudeikis-prof wonders 'am I un-teaching you things?!' and they're decorating their 'Japwanza tree' by placing a ninja star on top of it. And they got the teacher starting to add 'deh-deh' to everything LMAO
The next sketch is a fake-commercial for the next Alex Cross movie (I have to admit, I also thought it was weird as hell for Tyler Perry to be in the first one, I read the books and he didn't seem to fit the role at all) but he's playing Alex and Madea trapped in one body haha 

Also, why's Matthew Fox always gotta be the bad guy?!

I am not a huge Ne-Yo fan, but I DO love his song 'let me love you' - once I heard it 5 times in one shift at work, and I didn't mind at all... Every guy should learn from that song!! But I don't like the backup dancers like he seems like he's trying to be Bruno Mars... And I know for a fact that he himself is a good dancer! AND THE DANCERS DON'T EVEN MATCH THE SONG WTF IS GOING ON?! And now he's not even actually singing?!! Oh the confusion...
The confusion is over! Weekend Update is on!! Mrs. Claus is on, and apparently she used to date Criss Angel Mindfreak hahah...
Wow! The first text was sent 20 years ago! Jamie is on, dressed as a Ding Dong who is jealous of all the attention the Twinkie is getting... But his costume looks like a hockey puck lol. 'I love Twinkie, he's my snack brother from another batter' haha it's clearly snack profiling because he's chocolate!
Two fake game shows on one episode!! This one is 'Dylan McDermott or Dermott Mulroney' and all the contestants are black haha and have no clue what's going on, even though after the first picture it's pretty easy... 

One of whom is this guy!! Gavin from Friends!!

And he actually shows up!! Holding a photo of the other guy!! And he confuses Bill, and himself, and I'm dying haha one of the rounds they had to write down the answer and Jay writes 'D~~~ M~~~' and I think D scribble M scribble is a good idea haha
Keenan is an ex-pimp who is now selling Christmas trees and I am extremely weirded out lol - also there's a rival tree pimp! Who sold the enormous Rockefeller Center tree!!
Maine Justice is on next... and I never had any idea what Maine was like haha apparently they have weird accents and alligators lol. And the guy who's not from around here is gonna lose the trial, clearly lol cos he's not from around here lol... The witness they call is a 'congressman' and liiks like a hick and is PLAYED BY CHARLIE DAY!!! 

Yaaay 2nd actor cameo in one episode!!

Ne-yo is singing again and I've muted it, and he's making weird facial expressions.
I'm confused by the next sketch, it's a commercial for Swarovski crystals, it's Cecily and Vanessa dressed all fancy and talking like they have Botox in their tongues and pronouncing it 'Sebovski' lol (and they're NOT porn stars anymore apparently). I'm not sure whether to laugh or cringe. And Jamie keeps popping in randomly and they keep making him leave lol I think these girls deserve an Emmy for being such crazy stupid ditzes! And 'They cost less than diamonds, but they're diamonds' haha...
The end. That episode really was pretty good... Except for when Jamie Foxx talked.