SNL - Adam Levine & Kendrick Lamar

Soooo I had a headache and went to bed early on Saturday. Yes I hate myself for missing this episode live, but at least I found a website with the FULL thing rather than just bits and peices!
Martin Luther King's ghost (Keenan) goes to visit Obama (Jay) on the night of the inauguration - and all he wants to talk about is how gorgeous Beyonce is, and Michelle's bangs. So basically, he was watching Access Hollywood.
ADAM LEVINE!!!! Damn I love this man.. He's so handsome, and sings like a freaking god. Oddly enough, I don't think I've ever really heard him talk much. His voice is higher than I expected - although it does kind of make sense that he sings the way he does, if he talks like that.

AND THEN he was talking about how he judges on The Voice, and he hopes people won't 'judge' him too much for acting and then there's a whooshing noise and a chair spins around (like they do on The Voice) and HOLY FREAKING CRAP IT'S ANDY FREAKING SAMBERG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The monologue isn't even over, and I already know this is going to be one of the greatest episodes of SNL this season (if not EVER!) The material doesn't even have to be good, just have those 2 chatting and I'll love it!!! And apparently Andy wants to 'coach' Adam, and he can teach him literally tens of jokes, and has history with singers/actors (name drops Justin Timberlake!) and he has this expertise:

Actually, I'm pretty sure it was EXACTLY 100...

Plus Andy tries to sing and it's - well, it's Andy singing. So, you know. And then another chair turns around and it's CAMERON DIAZ!!! HOW DID SHE GET THERE!!! And she tells Adam to take his shirt off. And he says no.

And then JERRY SEINFELD IS THERE!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE HELL?!!!!!!!!!! It's like they reached into a grab-bag of IMDb profiles and pulled out random wonderful people!!! I'm so happy!!! Wow i've written a lot about the monologue O.o Seinfeld says 'don't take your shirt off' and then we turn around and he's not wearing a shirt! YAY! hahaha he must've been wearing a Velcro shirt or something.. Also, I have come to the conclusion that I love his talking voice.

Now I'm gonna use my point-form..

Fake Rosetta Stone commercial, a bunch of guys are learning Thai so they can go to Thailand to be pervs -.-

Keenan and Adam are gay guys with their own talk show. They're giving gay advice to solve straight people's problems. Adam is wearing a pair of rly tight skinny jeans. And dancing. And his gay voice is excellent. Their 'advice' is that every guy is gay hahahahhaahahahah Adam is amazing. And Vanessa is their friend who is in love with gay Keenan lawl.

Parody commercial parodying the Sex and the City highschool show, about The Sopranos back in highschool. I gotta say, this was a brilliant sketch idea, and you all know I love Bobby's Italian dude impersonation... As well as Bill and Fred :P They're freaking out about the bear-people in Star Wars ahaha

BTW SNL, I may love this episode, but I will never forgive you for acting like Justin Beiber can act AND sing - NO HE MAY NOT HOST DAMNIT!!!  

You better not pull that crap again...

I don't even know what to think of the next sketch... They're firefighers. And Adam is talking to a girl who apparently dated Bill's character (we later learn for 2 weeks, 9 years ago) and his voice was kinda like Stefon light, because he freaks out over the fact that the girl was talking to Adam, and then proceeds to SCREAM about everything (including the fact that Don't Trust the B in Apartment 23 was cancelled) and gets on the verge of laughing. Which I LOVE! I want Bill to be around forever.

This firehall has EVERYTHING.

The next sketch was totally ruined for me, surprise-wise, by the Interwebs, because everyone made such a big deal out of it, but if I had been watching on Saturday, here's what my reaction would have been:

OMG AKDSFKISIUKFDSDSKJGSKJS IT'S A FREAKING DIGITAL SHORT HOLY CRAP OHMYGOD THAT'S WHY ANDY WAS THERE AND OMG ITS ALL THE LONELY ISLAND GUYS!!!!!!! BACK!!!!!!!! AND WITH ADAM TOO!!!!! OHMYGOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDD!!!!!

Kay? They're singing about the word YOLO. I LOVE ADAM!!!! AND ANDY!!!! AND JORM!!!! AND AKIVA!!!! They're saying that because you only live once, you gotta be careful about EVERYTHING so you don't die hahah 'No such thing as too much Purell' and 'wear a titanium suit in case pianos fall on you' hahahaha HOLY CRAP CAMEO BY DANNY MCBRIDE! 'Isolate yourself!' and now YOLO stands for You Oughta Look Out and I will forever fall over laughing when I hear that word hahaha... Oh man, I missed those boys <3

I'm skipping the Kendrick Lamar dude, because let's be honest - if it's not Adam singing, I don't really care.
Hi SethMeyers heheh :) He's making fun of the Pope using Twitter to 'revive' Latin hahaha... And it's Arianna Huffington! Could you be serious? She calls him Sex Meyers. And he has a straight face about it. I second this nickname. Ray Lewis (Keenan) is on as a guest, and he thinks the Rockefeller Center ice skating rink used to be a lake... And Seth says that Guy Fietti's new wine is just gravy. LOL
The guys are dressed up like Maroon 5 (minimal acting for Adam in this scene) and they're standing at a bar and Vanessa the bartender is like 'next round's on me' and then who walks in the door?

"Oh no. It's Train!"

The real band actually tweeted this picture, apparently they thought it was pretty funny - glad to see they have a sense of humour about it! And now they're battling! Lol I love both of their bands, I own the last 2 albums from each of them!! They're so different.. But I love them both!!! Especially Adam's voice!! And their big 'battle' is dancing hahahaha, to 'Moves Like Jagger' no less - then Adam uses a random bystander as a human sheild.
AND JASON COMES ON AS JASON MRAZ and wants to fight people with his ukelele - I'M DYING!!! Rule 1) no punching, Rule 2) No hitting of any kind, and Rule 3) Fanny pinches are fair game. But they have to leave their chunky bracelets on the bar. Naturally. NOW JOHN MAYER IS THERE?!! (It's Bill) and he's legally insane. Plus Jason talks in skat. And Adam tells Keenan to call the cops and he's Hootie but doesn't know where the blowfish are - and then they just dance. This makes me so happy.
Next now they've turned Catfish the movie into a reality TV show and Adam is the main guy who keeps using his name Neev as a pun. And he's helping people who are in fake relationships. And Aidy is 'dating' this guy for 10 years who looks like Brian Wilson's head photoshopped on a hot guy's body. And her reaction is neither positive nor negative hahaha also Adam is acting all adorable as Neev (not sure if I spelled that right) but he's naturally super adorable!!!
Next up - a parody of Law and Order, Bobby dressed as a lady named Janet and taking Adam Levine home with him/her. I'm incredibly jealous damnit. He's so obvious when he's looking across the stage at the teleprompter - and she has a GIANT poster of Danny Glover on the bottom of her bed ahahaha
The last sketch was boring and short - it was Jason as Joe Biden advertising his 'Biden Bash'... Weird.
And then Jerry Seinfeld tells Adam not to screw this up when he says goodbye - and he doesn't! But he does thank Jerry last haha I see what you did there Levine ;) Wow. That guy.