Glee - 'Thanksgiving'

QUINN'S BACK!!!! OH MY GOD QUINN'S BACK!!!! AND SO IS PUCK!!! AND EVERYONE!!! YAAAAY!!!
Did anyone else notice the random Cheerio with the neck brace walking down the hall during Marley's voiceover?
Finn's making everyone pair up with a mentor and he puts Quinn with Kitty (who is way more happy about that than Quinn is, she looks stunned)
Finn's genius idea was to do Gangnam style, but no one other than Britney can dance (Sam does his little stripper dance, but uhh...)
They're all going on and on about Thanksgiving but that's weird because that was totally last week, and Rachel and Kurt are derpfaces and decided not to, so they're going on and on about how great their lives are and how they don't need anyone else... Spare me.
Jake goes up to Ryder and tells him that he and Marley went out.. That was not a good idea!!! Why would he do that?! Ryder was surprisingly okay with it, but then Jake says 'You know, I wasn't just going to hump her and dump her.. She's special. She's different.'

Then Mike tries to teach them all to dance, and they all look like white dudes trying to dance. Ryder's pretty awesome tho, and Puck is all mad at Jake for not being good at it. So Ryder gets the dance solo.
And then when the girls are teaching the new girls to dance, Marley looks, as Quinn points out 'like she's going to hurl' and then we find out that Kitty has a creepy Quinn obsession and idolises her. Then she tells Quinn that she's always been nice to Marley ('Bullshit!' I cry) but that Jake is pressuring Marley to sleep with him, and Quinn gets mad!
Brodie has to teach Rachel's class, and she gets all mad at him for sleeping with Cassie, and at first he's all defensive but then eventually apologises. So then she invites him to her dinner with Kurt. Which you just know is going to be a train wreck.
Quinn confronts Jake about the whole Marley thing, and he has no clue what she's talking about.
Kurt invites his boss Isabelle to the dinner too, and they have a heart-to-heart over Blaine and she says he should try to forgive her.
Kitty is stupid and obnoxious, and Santana found out that Kitty is making Marley bulemic, so she and Quinn have a huge fight over each other's lives and we find out Quinn's dating one of her professors (ew!) and then they start slapping each other, until Britney walks in.
Jake tries to help Ryder learn the dance (my friend and I freaked out about his ballet moves because it makes no sense to do that to Gangman Style) and Ryder's having issues with the words, because he has enough problems with English, how is he supposed to sing Korean?!
Brodie and Kurt are bickering about the cooking of Thanksgiving dinner, and then Brodie tries to use the turkey as a courtship device hahah
Marley's all ready for the show, but shes hungry and my prediction is that she's going to collapse from hunger in the middle of the stage. Stupid Kitty!
Unique is back in full force, and gives a huge speech about being okay with yourself and your appearance, and Marley misses the irony of agreeing to that wholeheartedly in Unique's case, but then starving herself. Hypocrite.
The Warblers go first and they sing 'Whistle' by Flo Rida and it's good, but not standing-ovation worthy, the audience freaks out... Laame. Then a One Direction song and the audience freaks out some more, although I'm not sure that's because of the song or the Warblers, but I think they're over-hyped. Just because the main singer is a total asshole.
Then they close-up on Marley watching from the side of the stage, and she's crying? What?
A bunch of random people show up at Kurt and Rachel's, because Isabel invited all of them, and they have a big dance and have a 'Kiki' and I have no clue what that is...
Back to Sectionals, Emma and Sue are talking, and suddenly Mr. Schuester pops up and sits down beside them!
Apparently this audience will get excited for anything, because the Mennonite school that goes next barely sings for 30 seconds, and the audience goes nuts for them too.
Then Kurt calls Blaine, as he's RIGHT about to go perform (who does that) and they kinda make up and agree to see each other at Christmas aww! :) But then Blaine's crying as he's about to go onstage - and when Kurt turns around he's crying too so Isabelle goes and hugs him.
Marley's crying some more and Jake goes up to her and says she doesn't look OK, and then she cries some more and says everything's her fault and she's gonna screw up and then Ryder tells Jake that he has to do the dance (fail first he tries to pretend he hurt himself and Jake goes 'dude you're not even limping!' haha)
Then they go onstage and do a surprisingly good job (of course they have the Asian girl start the singing haha Kitty winks to the super-old judge just like Quinn taught her to, they release a bunch of confetti, and then, right at the end, everything starts spinning and Marley collapses. I CALLED IT! THAT IS WHAT YOU GET FOR STARVING YOURSELF AND BARFING ALL THE TIME AND THEN TRYING TO GANGNAM!!!
I am super-upset about this though, it's so sad and scary and Finn and everyone rushed up to the stage, and I'm pissed because it's A STINKING CLIFFHANGER!!!

Big Bang Theory - 'The Parking Spot Escalation'

Zombies and Mummies are not the same thing!! Can I have a cookie, Leonard? I'm watching with my friend, and we both cracked up at his line about reassigning his nipples cos he doesn't use those either...
Then he decides to steal Howard's Ironman mask because 'he wasnt using it' and then when Howard steals his dimploma, he says 'You can have it, it's the only doctorate you'll ever get!'

Oh no he didn't!!!

Then we have TMI about Amy getting a bikini wax, and then the girls begin to take sides about the parking lot debacle. And they begin to sling lots of burns back and forth!!! Bernadette is soooo mad! She makes fun of Amy for never having sex, and Amy makes fun of Howard for how close he is with his mother! I would use that meme again, but I don't want to overdo it.
Then Howard goes and takes his pants off and sits in Sheldon's beloved 'spot' on the couch, and does a 'nude revenge wiggle' with Sheldon's laptop on his lap!! Oh my god!! I think that's going too far haha and then he says 'I'm not giving back your parking spot, because you don't have a car! So Sheldon says 'You don't need your helmet back, you're not Ironman!'
Amy and Sheldon go to paint Sheldon's name on the little cement bumper at the front of the parking space, then they park her car in the space.. And then things get awkward because she says 'wait first let's get in the car and let me show you something' and you all know what that means... and he has no reaction other than to assume she's high off the fumes from the spray paint.
Then Amy goes to Bernadette's apartment and Penny is there. So Amy goes 'I see you're on team Bernadette' Um, I think she's always been on Bernadette's team... 

Bernadette didn't give her one of these...

Bernadette had Amy's car towed - what a wiley little creature! And then they have another back-and-forth which ends with Amy trying to swing her extremely heavy bag at Bernadette, who ducks, and then she hits Penny in the face instead!
Sheldon's next brilliant plan involves sitting in his parking spot with a chair and a whiteboard, and puts headphones on when Howard decides to honk the horn of his car in an effort to try and make him move hahaha then the idea I would have thought of ages ago and tries to run him over hahaha of course!
Leonard comes outside and tries to reason with them but then Sheldon gets in the car and takes his clothes off and wiggles all over the seat and my friend and I were LOSING it, that was just so perfect! Then he goes 'You know what they say, revenge is a dish best served nude!' and waves his underwear in the air and we SCREAMED with laugher, the neighbours probably think we're getting attacked in here...

UPDATE: There. Just in case you wanted that visualisation.

So Howard tries to offer to leave the parking spot to Sheldon, and Sheldon refuses, because he can't have Howard being the bigger man! So Howard gets the spot, until Sheldon gets an actual liscense... Or a Batmobile.
And everyone's ok and worked everything out... Except Penny and her broken nose. I gotta say, I thought she could pull off anything, but apparently she can't pull off a bandage over the nose and two black eyes.

CSI - 'Strip Maul'

I have no idea what is going on in this episode, even though I was watching from the very beginning! The CSIs and a bunch of cops are walking around downtown Vegas (you know, that place where there's the arched 'roof' over a street? No idea what it's called, but my dad's been there.) 

This place!

They arrest some random people, hookers and drug dealers and a guy passed out with a horse head on and some weed in his pocket... Then there is a guy covered in blood and acting crazy with a crowd kinda gathered around him - and he's waving around a head. Ew. He hits a guy in the face with the head and drops it - then they realise that the head's a fake and he's filming it for a viral video. SERIOUSLY?! What kind of lunatic... Anyway. They're throwing him in the cop car when Nick spots a guy in a car slumped over the steering wheel, dead.
Back at the station, there's a drunken drag queen named Josh/Jocelyn saying that she beat up a cab driver because he was threatening the life of 'her' unborn child O.O and then she slaps Greg because he asks 'have you been drinking?' so they have to restrain her.
Brass is talking to Ecklie about the fact that the sherriff wants him (Ecklie) to take over her job. He says he's not even sure that he wants to continue his job anymore.
The blood on the fake head was real but not human, and the guy who was hit is having an allergic reaction. so the blood (pig's) may have a virus. The guy who was waving it around is all nonchalant like 'y'all are crazy, there's nothing wrong with my pig's blood' (other than the fact that you're randomly waving it around and getting it on people) and Greg gets super-pissed at him.
Brass asks a prostitute where she got her fancy ring, and she says it's hers so he gets mad because he recognises it as his ex-wife's engagement ring. She says another prostitute sold it to her, and Brass shows her a picture of Ellie and she goes 'that's the one.' Damn.

CSI fun fact: Ellie Brass has been in 3 episodes, but played by 2 different actors.

 Back in the other room, Jocelyn is freaking out saying 'my water broke!! My baby's coming!!' and then when paramedics come in, Jocelyn shoves people over (poor Greg keeps getting beat up!) and grabs a pair of scissors out of the belt of one of the paramedics and stabs himself in the stomach. Back from commercial, we find out he/she died, and was 'pregnant' with balloons full of drugs.
In addition, the pig's blood was fine, no pathogens, but the head-guy's camera-weilding friend Lydia is still M.I.A. and has the camera, and the fact that they walked past the place where the guy was killed means that she may have evidence on film.
Hodges has weird theories about the bullet that killed the guy in the car - it has no striations, meaning it was fired from a modified barrell, and he thinks there may have been a gun made of polymer used specifically for one hit job, which would have destroyed it as soon as it was fired once.
The prostitute ('Chastity') had the debit card that belonged to the dead guy from the car (name of Keith Dobson), and claims she partied with him and his friend, then stole his debit card and left him, alive, to go hit the casinos.
The drugs in the mule matched ones being sold by a dealer they'd arrested earlier that evening, and then when they interview him, he says he was actually buying the drugs from a clean-cut youg man named Bobby Reid, son of a city attorney, that the cops had already released.
Sara calls Lydia and convinces her to drop off the camera in a recycling dumpster so they can retrieve it without Lydia having to come in to the station (because apparently she's freaked out) and they find the camera, but Lydia was there too - dead. Head-guy Marco feels really guilty that Lydia's dead, and Sara feels bad for him.
The bullet that killed Lydia matched the caliber and M.O. of the first dead guy, but her camera caught Chastity and Bobby Reid in the car with Keith when he was alive, then leaving with Keith sitting in the car (looking dead). Chastity tells Brass that some crime boss named Roland Zahl hired her to hang around with Bobby, and swears that when she left the car, Keith was alive. She says that Ellie's living in Vegas, and Brass is surprised because he thought Ellie was living in Los Angeles. 

Roland Zahl? Someone in the writing department's getting lazy...

Turns out Jocelyn was Bobby's cousin, and he was selling drugs, Chastity was being paid to text someone to keep them updated on where she, Bobby and Keith were, then when Bobby got out of the car to talk to the other drug dealer, she left because she was scared, and the hitman moved in, and mistaking Keith for Bobby, shot him.
Russell doesn't think Hodgen's crazy plastic-gun idea isn't crazy after all, because he found this machine that can 'print' a 3D object (such as a bunch of guns) made out of several layers of polymer. There was a printer like this sold to a company owned by Roland Zahl, and trace matching the components of the gun found on the hands of the head-smacking victim (named Pak), which is what caused his allergic reaction.
Bobby's father convinced him to turn himself in, and Russell and Brass have a conversation about Ellie... This plotline always makes me feel awful, because Brass always looks so sad :( Bobby is a conceited ass, and doesn't really care that three people are dead! I hate people like that!
Brass asks Chastity if she will promise to help them and she feels like she doesn't have a choice - but then he tells her that if she does help, he'll give her some money to go back home and find her family, so that she can be close with her father like he and Ellie can't be. Dang this makes me sad...
Bobby and Chastity are re-connected with Pak so they can follow the original plan and they lure Pak in with Nick and the cops on his tail. He tells the targets to go to the food court and then he disappears off the cameras. When he turns a corner, 'Chastity' turns around and is actually an undercover cop, so they arrest him. Pak refuses to tell them who he's working for, but Brass isn't worried.
Morgan and Eckilie have a conversation about chicken soup, and then Brass goes looking for Chastity at the station, he finds out she made bail (probably paid for by Roland?) but she left him his wife's ring and a note saying thanks, but that he should try to find Ellie.
UGH this episode was such a mess, so many people and names and plot twists I can't keep straight... Also, what happened to the guy with the horse head??

No, not this one...

Side note: that street with the giant roof is called the Fashion Arcade. They mentioned it like ten times this episode lol I can't believe they've never had another episode set there!

NCIS:LA - 'Collateral Damage'

Today apparently is an episode using the completely original, never-before-used plotline of Hetty disappearing!! 

'Wait, you couldn't tell that was sarcasm, because I forgot to inflect.'

How many times have they done this story now? I think this makes three - or maybe 4, once per season? Good greif. The all-powerful Hetty can't be put in danger that many times, it's unrealistic! They need to have the mortals be kidnapped/running away every once in a while, this is just getting ridiculous.
Also, they still need to wrap up the whole secret-Russian-agent-nuclear-bombs plot, but if I know every CBS crime show ever (Yes, I'm looking at you, CSI: Miami!), they'll save the huge cliffhanger and resolution for the finales.
This week begins with an older playboy type talking to a guy Dex about the release of a video game, and how he's a big secret agent, and then he goes out on his deck, lights a cigar, and explodes. Well then.
I've always wondered how they did those shots where the camera pans along the row of people shooting in the range. I know they shoot blanks, but fragments still come out of them sometimes... I wonder if they've ever broken a camera.
Deeks borrowed an album from Sam and lost/ruined it, and he's in trouble... The guy who blew up was a CIA agent named Potter, it was his lighter that blew up (not a cigar) and Sam is a fan of Yosemite Sam!


Possibly because he shares his name...
But let's be honest, this dude is awesome.

Hetty is having a very cryptic conversation on the phone, and doesn't give Callen any details about anything before sending them out on the hunt.
At the dead guy's house, they find video on a tablet of two women in lingere and one of them is identified as an expensive callgirl named Nicole from an escort service (Deeks recognises her, of course). 
Callen keeps calling Sam a geek because he likes old TV shows, vintage cars and vinyl records. Eric goes 'you know, there's nothing wrong with being a geek!', and there's a 'swear jar' in Ops hahaha (even when Hetty's nowhere to be found, she's in charge!) and Nell admits she watched that football highlight reel Eric lent her, aww :)
Kensi and Deeks go to visit the escort service and he stammers and is unsure whether he should compliment her or not lol so he goes in around back and she walks in the front door and gets in right away cos she's prettier than all the other girls there, apparently, and she puts on a persona - she's so good!! Deeks hacks their computers in the same room as their conversation (so bold!) and they get all the pictures of their employees so they can compare them to the videos on Potter's tablet. The owner of the escort service, Wendy, starts to feel her up and Kensi sets her straight, then lets loose on Deeks and mentions that he sat on the record and broke it then threatens to tell Sam haha
Nell and Eric are arguing about football history, and then she uses the word 'swagger' with a head-bob hahahaha when she leaves the room Eric says 'I got swagger!' I'M DYING!

Not only is she badass, but she's a gangster too!!

Callen walks in on Hetty looking at an old photo of Granger, herself and Potter, and she then puts it away in a box and locks it up before he can see it. Nell walks in and says that Director Vance is on the phone for her - and you know that's never good.
Callen and Sam go to talk to the escort Nicole, and they find a dead girl and Nicole unconscious. When she wakes up, she remembers that some random guy called her privately and said he'd pay her and the other girl a whole bunch of money to seduce Potter and 'play a prank' by switching his lighter. The man who hired her and then attacked her and her friend was named Ruiz.
They don't know where Hetty is, but they found Ruiz using Eric's awesome camera magic, and then Granger showed up - also not a good sign - and tells them the book is closed on the case (even when Deeks asks if they could use a bookmark haha) and tells them they don't need to look for Hetty, because 'She's a big girl. Well, relatively speaking.' And here I thought he didn't have a sense of humor! He also tells them not to go after Ruiz, that the CIA will take care of it.
When they go to find Ruiz, a woman in a van sees them closing in. She calls Ruiz and warns him, but says to stay put and that she'll 'take care of it'. Then her car pulls past the cafe where he's sitting, and she shoots him and screeches away!
Granger's disappeared too, which Callen finds suspicious. He and Sam convince Nell to open the box for them and they find the photo. There's another guy in the picture too, who is also a CIA agent named Brooks. He didn't get along with Potter, and was apparently in the process of suing him.
They go to Brooks' house and find him beaten to death, but he wrote a message in his own blood saying 'Nogalis Bo..'. Then they find a bomb in the house which Callen realises was meant for Hetty.
Nell and Eric share a touching moment where she's all worried about Hetty and he reassures her... Aww he's finally returning the favour for this scene:

They figure out what 'Nogalis' means, it's a foriegn word for walnut, and Callen finds a walnut sitting on his desk. Then they find a mansion with the same name that was a former presidential retreat, and after that an NSA/CIA safehouse. They realise Hetty's going there, because she's 'taking a stand' OVER WHAT?!
The team goes to the house and are standing there talking to Hetty and Granger who tell them that their team was getting picked off one by one so they had to hide until they figured out who was after them, and then all of a sudden someone fires an automatic weapon through the wall and everyone goes down.
They go outside and take down a bunch of the bad guys and the woman in the black SUV from earlier pulls away and they shoot at it until it goes of the road and flips. Wow I've missed these big action scenes! Then Callen goes to the car and opens the door and the woman says 'my name is Fatima Khan' and raises her gun but then gets shot dead. Hetty pops up behind Callen and he says 'I told you to stay back!' She replies with 'You and I have a similar attitude when it comes to obeying orders.' I LOVE THIS WOMAN!!!!
It turns out the CIA team with Potter and Hetty were responsible for blowing up a cab carrying one of the founding members of al-Quaeda, and Fatima's father, who was an innocent cab driver. So she swore vengeance on the whole team. So sad :(
Sam still won't admit he's a nerd hahaha but he and Nell and Eric are going to go watch all the James Bond movies! And Kensi and Deeks want to come lol
Unfortunately we don't get to see the nerd-party, only Granger and Hetty discussing the unfortunate innocent casualties of war. Hence the episode title.
Until next week, NCIS: LA fans!!! Can't wait!! Leave a comment on what you thought of this episode, and as always thank for reading!!

HIMYM - 'Twelve Horny Women'

I know I said this one might be up later rather than sooner, but I don't feel like going to bed quite yet, so here it is!
We open with a flash-forward of Marshall in front of a panel of judges, and they're possibly going to 'change the course of his career' That sounds ominous! Because of the way he behaved in court during the trial with Brad the a-hole ex-friend. Also, I forgot that that's the guy Marshall went to Brunch with haha!
Barney and Robin are ignoring each other and acting like they never kissed, and Ted called them all in sick (Barney has massive hemmorhoids haha) so they can all go support him at the trial. Then Barney and Lily talk about how they were such huge badasses when they were teenagers. And Ted pretends he was too... I'm not sure who's lying.
Then I figure out where the title came from (aside from the obvious play on '12 Angry Men') because Brad is making a ridiculous speech that makes no sense, then goes 'excuse me, I dropped my pen' and bends over and the entire jury (all women) are all staring at his ass... 

They couldn't have been more distracted if he came in
wearing his fireman outfit from Magic Mike.

LMAO I loved Marshall's line here - 'Objection - your honour, no one needs this long to pick up a pen' but of course the judge is one of those not-so-subtly-in-the-closet-Jim-Rash-esque-gay types, so he'll allow it haha
AND THEN he mentions the episode title hahaha I love it when they do that!! He also mentioned 12 Angry Men lol!

Don't get me wrong, it's a great movie.
But definitely less funny than this episode.

And even the court stenographer is doodling pictures of a shirtless Brad making out with her (poor Marshall is drawn looking like a short fat stinky hick) and he goes 'that's just super-mean!'
Brad calls a witness that is an idiot doctor who mentions that the birds were given free Viagra by the pollution of the lake (Brad mentions he doesn't need Viagra, of course) and then Marshall calls in an adorable baby duckling who he says was harmed by the chemical pollution and had a huge rash.
Brad's comeback to this is to show a video of himself playing the saxophone, swimming, flexing, etc (guess he didn't need the fireman costume) at the lake to prove 'the water's fine' and holy crap this is such a mockery of the justice system I can't help but laugh hahah
Lily asks the court records lady to look up her 'rap sheet' but no such thing exists, of course lol and then Robin says that she (as Robin Sparkles) was a total badass on the road and threw a TV out a window because the RCMP had a noise complaint for her lol.
The next day Marshall has an important realisation in the courtroom, Brad is scratching his chest a lot, and so he calls Brad to the stand and asks him to remove his shirt (the judge of course is all for it) and he HAS A RASH!! Just like the baby duck!! Because he went swimming in the lake!! 

I'd take this little guy over Joe Manganiello's pecs anyday! :)

So Marshall wins the case but only gets $25,000 from the pharmaceutical company rather than the $25 million he was asking for because the judge is a turd...
It turns out none of them were badasses, Robin actually got an award from the Manitoba Association of Hotels and Curling Rinks for being the nicest and best-behaved hotel guest ever hahaha
Marshall has a dream where he and his son are fishing at Frog Lake and it's all poisonous and toxic and there's a lake monster called the Frog King... Which you'd think Marshall would love!

Nessie and the Frog King.. Still a better love story than Twilight.

Then Marshall is sitting in a bar being all sad, and Brad shows up and apologises to him and says he quit his job and took one at Marshall's firm. Then they've made a brunch reservation and everything is fine lol and Brad says the judge was an idiot... Which is the reason he's sitting in that courtroom! Because he wants to become a judge! Awww!! Yaay Marshall!!
Barney and Robin meet up (also at the bar) and he apologises to her and says they can go back to normal, just being friends, and then he goes to get them some beer and she makes a face like 'oh my god!'
I have to say, I'm disappointed they didn't do a Thanksgiving episode this year!! Although I don't think there's a way they could top either the Slapsgiving or Blitzgiving episodes, which are probably among my favourite episodes of the entire show :P
Until next week, thanks for reading, and as always, leave a comment!!